Living on a Prayer
by Akasha617
Summary: Steph has to learn how to go on after she loses everything and it looks like it's up to her to find a killer. Warning: Character death, angst, strong language
1. Chapter 1

Hey, thank you for checking this one out.

I'm not sure how it happened, I guess I'll blame the gin again.

I hope you like it. I welcome your reviews either way…

And no, the title is no indication of where the story is going, it's just one of those Bon Jovi songs forever tattooed in my brain and I thought they make for great titles. Shows you how much I know.

Cupcakes will probably not like the story, but not for the usual reasons. You were warned.

Stayce, start a tab, Ranger will pay it for me…in any way you like.

Warning: Character death, angst, broken fingernails, the works!

Disclaimer: If Mickey had wings, he'd be Donald Duck…I own nothing. Not even Jon Bon Jovi.

Rating: R for adult language and situations

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 1

You never know when you've seen someone for the last time until it's too late.

And I've learned that as much as you dread something happening, it can happen at any moment.

The truth is, when something bad happens to me, I go with denial. That way, I can avoid the initial shock and after some time has passed, the memory is a little faint.

My name is Stephanie Plum, and I'm a thirty-three year old bond enforcement agent, better known as a bounty hunter. I work for my cousin Vinnie who bails people out of jail for a share of their bail, and when they fail to appear for their court date, I find them.

I have my own apartment, but back then, I was spending more time at my boyfriend's house. Joe Morelli was a Trenton cop and I'd known him all my life. He'd inherited a 3-bedroom row house from his aunt Rose that was a lot bigger than my 1-bedroom apartment.

I'd been scared to admit I loved him, but after I'd gotten over that, we'd grown into a very comfortable relationship with great sex. When I was at Joe's, I shared the space with our big dog Bob and my hamster Rex. We were a happy little family. Joe and I had agreed that while we loved each other, we were in no hurry to get married, even though both our traditional families were pushing us. We were happy the way we were.

The last time I saw Joe, he was leaving for work and I wanted him to stay. I'd put my arms around his neck and held on, lowering my lashes and focusing my eyes on his mouth, the way he liked it.

It was 8:30 in the morning, he was showered and shaved and smelled heavenly. His hair was still damp from the shower and curled around his ears, a sure sign that he needed it cut. I was still in bed, scary hair and unpainted face.

His chocolate-brown eyes focused on mine before they closed when he gave me a kiss.

Lots of tongue, hands in all the right places. It reminded me of the previous night and I was once again glad I'd stayed.

But when he pulled away, I knew he would leave.

Joe had grown up. As a teenager or young adult, he would have fallen back into bed with me and would have forgotten all about work. But Joe was a cop now, and a good one at that. Somewhere between his years in the Navy and his 30th birthday, he'd grown responsible.

"You know I'd love nothing more than to stay, Cupcake. But this case I'm working on is kicking my ass, and if I don't catch up on the paperwork by noon, I might never get to it."

Regret was showing on his face, and I had no doubt he'd meant what he'd said.

"Raincheck?" He asked with a last peck on the lips. "I'll bring home dinner and we can eat it in bed…" He was smiling at the thought.

I agreed, but had to tease him with one last kiss that showed him exactly what he was missing. He moaned into my mouth and detangled himself from me with some effort.

"I'll try to leave early…" he whispered. Then he tousled my hair and walked out.

"Bob has peed and eaten, he's all set." He said over his shoulder before he left the bedroom.

"Thanks!" I blew him a kiss and fell back onto the mattress.

The next time I woke up, it was after 10. The day had started without me. I groaned, threw back the covers and waddled into the bathroom.

A half hour and a shower later, I felt more like a human being and went downstairs to make coffee and have breakfast.

And then the phone rang and my life as I knew it ended.

It was Eddie Gazarra, a good friend of mine and uniformed Trenton cop. We see each other a lot when I bring skips back into the custody of the police. Eddie didn't call me too often, unless I was working on a case that the police were interested in as well and he had a tip for me. I wasn't working on any of those cases at the time.

"Steph, are you at home?" He asked. Well, since he'd called Joe's land line, chances were good that I was home, but I knew what he'd meant.

"I'm gonna be over in about twenty minutes, wait for me, okay?"

"What's this about, Eddie?" He had me worried.

"I can't tell you over the phone. I'll be right there, Steph." And he disconnected. I stared at the receiver for a moment and got a squishy feeling in my stomach. Like something bad was going to happen.

Eddie pretty much confirmed my premonition when he got out of his car. I had been waiting for him and opened the front door as soon as I saw him, holding Bob back by his collar so he wouldn't rush out and jump up on Eddie. Eddie's face was expressionless, the cop face as I like to call it. Eddie's face had never been expressionless as long as I'd known him.

He led me inside and pushed me onto the couch in the living room, then he squatted down in front of me.

"Steph, there's no easy way to say this. I wanted to be the one to tell you, because you deserve that much. Joe's been shot, honey."

I sucked in some air. "Is he okay, Eddie?"

I tried to jump up to grab my purse and drive to the hospital, but Eddie held me back.

"No, Steph, that's why I'm here. He died on the scene. He's gone, Steph." Eddie said softly.

And with those words, my entire world fell apart. The only possible explanation was that it was Eddie's idea of a joke, or possibly Joe's.

"That's not funny, Eddie." I said toneless but I knew he hadn't been kidding. He wrapped his arms around me as I was trying to make sense to what he'd said. It didn't work.

"No." was al I could say, over and over again.

When Eddie left, I went through the motions like a robot. I filled Bob's food bowl to the rim and grabbed my keys. I drove on auto-pilot to my apartment and locked myself into my bedroom.

For the next 48 hours, I went through all the emotions known to man. I screamed my lungs out. I cried my eyes out. I ignored the phone and the door bell and didn't leave the bed. I knew people came over because every now and then, I'd hear knocking on my bedroom door.

But nobody asked me to identify Joe's body. I didn't know what had happened; I didn't care at the time. I just wanted it to not be true.

After I was hoarse from screaming and crying, I just went numb. I curled up in the fetal position in bed and didn't move.

Since I hadn't eaten or drunk anything, I didn't even have to go to the bathroom; I could stay in bed forever. I didn't have a plan or anything; I could just not face reality, if that reality didn't have Joe in it.

Probably I would have stayed like that until I would have died of thirst. Or possibly a broken heart. Maybe both. I was told later it had been three days, I had no sense of time.

All I know is suddenly, the covers were pulled away from me and I was lifted up. Then cold water was raining down on me. When I opened my eyes, I realized I was naked and in the shower. I yelped and tried to get out of the tub, but strong hands were holding me in place. Everything registered in slow motion. I sputtered because water ran down my throat through my open mouth.

The water became warmer and the stopper was put in the tub. I knew who the hands belonged to, and it made me angry that he didn't respect my privacy.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I screamed, trying to free myself from his grip.

"Trying to show you you're still alive," Ranger said calmly and pushed me down into the tub.

"How dare you…" I started but the just ignored me as he poured shampoo into his palm and began washing my hair.

After a few minutes I gave up struggling, because I was exhausted and had gotten water and shampoo in my mouth, but accomplished nothing.

Under any other circumstances, the situation would have been hilarious. Ricardo Carlos Manoso, street name Ranger, 6 feet tall and 200 pounds of taut muscle, kneeling in front of my tub, bathing me like a toddler. When I told Mary Lou about it weeks later, she thought it was the sexiest thing she'd ever heard. It didn't feel sexy to me. Ranger was a fellow bounty hunter, but unlike me, he was very good at it. He'd been my mentor for years and my friend for almost as long. He'd saved my life countless times and had helped me out in many other ways as well.

I was just angry. Angry at Ranger for overstepping his boundaries, ignoring my pain and treating me like a child. Angry at the world for not ending. Angry at Joe for leaving me. Angry at myself because I was blaming Joe for dying.

Ranger rinsed me off and lifted me out of the tub. He wrapped a towel around me and pushed me to sit on the toilet. And I let it happen. There had been no reaction from him when I'd yelled at him earlier, and now my throat was sore and honestly, I didn't care.

When Ranger reappeared, I hadn't even noticed he had left. He took the towel from me and pulled a clean sweatshirt over my head, before lifting me up so I could step into a pair of sweats. I wanted to push him away, tell him I could do it myself, but I couldn't muster up the strength to talk. My eyes just focused on the wall and I let Ranger dress me like a doll.

"You want something to eat, babe?" He asked, but it took me a while to understand the meaning of his words. I hadn't eaten in days and I wasn't hungry. I never wanted to eat again.

I shook my head slowly, never meeting his eyes.

"Let me put it this way, you're going to eat now," he explained.

When I didn't move or comment, he pulled me up by my arms and led me out of the bathroom.

He'd obviously opened the bedroom window; the cold November air had cooled off the room when we walked through.

He put me into one of my dining room chairs and left for the kitchen. The thought of food made me gag. But I was too numb to move or object as Ranger placed a glass of water and a bowl of soup in front of me.

"Eat," he said, sitting down. I looked up at him for the first time. I'd expected his blank face, but instead, his eyebrows were touching in a deep frown.

"Please, Babe." He said, softer. His eyes were pleading.

I couldn't remember a time when I had to be begged to eat. I'd always had a healthy appetite. The smell of the soup wafted up to me and I got sick to my stomach. I made it to the bathroom just in time, only since I had nothing to throw up, I just dry-heaved for a minute.

When I was done, I was exhausted. I hadn't noticed Ranger following me, and I flinched slightly when his arms encircled me from behind and he picked me up. Instead of taking me over to the sink or back to bed, he just held me. I didn't think I wanted to be touched, but when his body heat seeped into me, I all but collapsed against him.

After a while, I realized he was stroking my hair while whispering to me softly. I had no idea what he was saying, but it felt soothing.

"Okay, let's try that one again," he finally said, pushing me away so he could look at me, "I'll go with a sandwich this time. But you will eat, babe."

He half dragged, half carried me back into the dining room. I drank the water and actually felt better after I forced down the peanut butter and olive sandwich he presented. I was touched Ranger was going through so much trouble for me, but it was as if the feeling didn't make it all the way to my heart.

"Can I go back to bed now?" I asked when I'd finished eating.

"No," Ranger said, "You spent the last three days there, you can't get back until the sheets are changed. This means laundry. And you need to go to the grocery store. Also, I'm sure your carpet wouldn't mind seeing a vacuum." He leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

I was trying to determine if he was kidding. No smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, not even the hint of one.

"Fuck you." I said and got up to go back to bed.

I didn't get far. Ranger got up and blocked my way. "I don't think so," He said softly, putting his hands on my arms to keep me in place. I stared at my feet.

"Stephanie, look at me," he said and put a finger under my chin to lift it up. I couldn't quite read the look in his eyes. There was concern, yes, but other emotions as well. I thought I saw some surprise as well.

"I know what you're going through," he said, shaking his head slightly when I tried to pull away, "And denial is not going to bring Joe back. Neither is hiding in here."

"I don't care." I pressed out. In fact, I couldn't come up with a single thing I cared about, other than being left alone.

"I care. I care enough for both of us, and I can't stand to see you like this." This was the most emotional thing Ranger had ever said to me.

"Joe is dead," I said, as if he didn't know. He nodded. "I know. But you are alive."

"Let me go." I tried again. I felt good to be held, but I didn't want to feel good. I wanted to crawl into bed and wake up four days ago. I would make Joe stay; he would simply not leave the house.

"Babe," Ranger said. He had the ability to speak volumes with just that one syllable.

"The funeral is today. Everybody said you wouldn't feel up to it, but I wanted it to be your choice."

One word got through to me: funeral. Joe's funeral. Joe was dead.

I drew in air in a giant gulp and would have crumbled to the floor if Ranger hadn't held on to me. I'd thought I was all cried out, but as I collapsed against Ranger's chest, big, racking sobs came out and the tears were flowing freely.

We stood like that for a long time. Ranger stroking my hair, his arms wrapped around me in a protective cocoon. Me, crying against his shoulder, holding on for dear life. We didn't say a word.

Eventually my sobs died down to a hiccup and I lifted my head.

"When is it?" I managed.

"At three."

I nodded tiredly. "What time is it now?"

The corners of Ranger's mouth tilted up in an almost-smile as he lifted his hand and pushed a strand of hair away from my eyes. "Almost noon. You have plenty of time to decide."

I nodded again because it seemed like the right thing to do. There was no way I could decide. I just wanted to crawl back into my cave and hibernate. Reality can't reach you when you hibernate.

I was still leaning against Ranger for support in more than one way. Some smart part of me wanted to make a decision about going to the funeral. I'd been to enough funerals to know what to expect. Only I'd never been witness to a loved one being buried. Just the thought of it make my heart hurt physically. My worst fear however was that watching Joe's coffin being lowered into the ground would make his death real. I sighed, trying to imagine what Joe would want me to do. And I realized from now on, I'd always have to _imagine _what he would want me to do, he would never, ever, tell me again. This triggered another sob and Ranger's arms closed around once again.

"You can do this," he said, "You're strong. You will make it through this."

I shook my head against his chest, not believing any of it. But I had to go to the funeral. If it was the last thing I was going to do with my last bit of sanity intact, I had to go.

I took a deep breath and wiped my nose on my sleeve as I took a step back.

"I'll go," I said, focusing my eyes on the wet spot my tears had formed on Ranger's black t-shirt.

"You sure you up for it?'

I nodded weakly. No, of course I wasn't sure. I was thinking with the last bit of brain that I still had some control over. Most of my being had been taken over by despair. Probably my version of grief.

Ranger held on to my elbow when I went back into my bedroom and gathered up some clothes.

I had stepped out of my body and was watching me go through the motions. The clothes would have to be black, that's what you wear to funerals. Joe would want it to be something sexy, except he'd know his family was going to be there and he wouldn't want to shock them. He would recommend the plain black business suit that I'd never worn. Its skirt came down almost to my calves and the jacket buttoned up almost to my collar bone. I grabbed some underwear and slipped into the bathroom, clutching the clothes to my chest. Ranger sat down on my bed when I closed the door.

I had done the ritual often enough, I didn't need to think about it. Clean up, brush teeth, dress, do hair, put on make-up. I never looked at myself in the mirror once.

When I was done, I sat down on the toilet, trying to figure out if I was doing the right thing. I realized I had no idea what the right thing was.

I jumped when there was a knock on the door. "Babe?" I heard Ranger call. "Yeah," I responded.

I should have said 'I'm fine', but I wasn't. I didn't think I would ever be fine again.

Ranger knocked on the door again and when I didn't say anything else he opened it and came in. He picked me up wordlessly and led me out the door. He pushed me onto my bed and turned towards my closet, picking out shoes. I felt like I was still watching the scene from far away.

Ranger knelt down in front of me and slipped the shoes on. Black pumps. Decent heels.

He looked up at me and ran his thumb over my cheek bone.

"You're good to go?"

I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. I didn't know the answer to the question. The only thing I felt good enough to do was fall back into my bed and hide under the covers.

Ranger didn't push me for an answer; he took my hands to help me up and then put one of his hands on the small of my back and pushed me forward. On the way, he grabbed my shoulder bag and grabbed my keys. He locked the door and kept nudging me until we were in the elevator. I was more than willing to give up all control to him.

We rode over to the funeral home in complete silence. I had nothing to say. My hand was on the door handle before the car had stopped.

"I'm going alone," I said.

"I'll go with you," Ranger said.

I shook my head. "Everybody I have ever known will be in there. I don't want to go through it alone. But I definitely don't want to put you through it." I was hoping he'd get my meaning. For all intents and purposes, as far as the neighborhood both Joe and I had grown up in was concerned, we had been married. If I walked in with another man, whether he was 18 or 81, the wave of hatred would drown me.

"I'll give you a head start." Ranger said and turned off the engine.

I reached over and squeezed his hand. I wanted to thank him for understanding, but my throat felt too tight to speak.

The parking lot at Stiva's was already half full. The funeral home was no longer run by Constantine Stiva, as it had been for decades, since he'd gone over the edge and had eventually been sentenced to jail for probably the rest of his natural life. Still, he was alive. And the man who had helped me survive the trauma of being locked in a coffin by the psycho was dead. Life just wasn't fair.

I stalked up the front steps and blindly walked into the main room, one of the three rooms the departed were laid out it. I didn't need a program to know the drill. After the viewing, there'd be a requiem mass at church and then the funeral in the cemetery.

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding when I entered the room. At the far end was the coffin. It was closed. I don't think I could have taken another step if it had been open. Walking slowly towards it, I remembered all the times Joe and I had been in this room together. Over the years, a lot of cases had led me here. Joe had either been working or protecting me. We'd spend a lot of time here. I felt new tears well up in my eyes and bit my cheek hard, ordering myself to keep it together.

Many rows of chairs had been set up; the first two were already filled. I recognized Joe's mother and grandmother from behind, I assumed the rest of the Morelli family were with them.

I walked forward numbly with my eyes on the floor and sat down without a sound. Still, I could feel eyes on me. I didn't look up to acknowledge anyone. There was nothing to say. I had no condolences to offer, and I didn't want to hear any.

A pair of shoes I recognized came into my line of vision; my mom stopped right next to me and put her hand on my shoulder.

"You need to be up there," she stage-whispered, "You need to pray and pay your respects." Her hand tightened around my shoulder when I didn't react. "You _have_ to go." I knew she was right, but I just couldn't see how I would manage. Mom took my elbow and pulled me up, and then she put my hand in the crook of her arm and took me with her to the front. We knelt in front of the coffin, as was proper etiquette. Instead of a prayer, I had a silent conversation with Joe in my head. I couldn't get myself to touch the coffin, I was hoping to hear his voice, hoping he'd tell me everything would be okay, like he had so many times before.

When we got up to pay our respects, my eyes never left my hands, I couldn't look up. I murmured condolences; my mom did most of the talking. She stayed with me until we got back to my former seat.

Uniforms had filled up the entire back half of the room, every cop in the tri-state area seemed to be in attendance, along with Joe's entire Navy unit in their blue winter uniforms. I wished I'd seen Joe in his navy uniform, I knew he'd looked amazing.

Somehow, I made it through the next two hours. My dad, Grandma Mazur and my sister Valerie took their seats close to me at some point. I noticed because they hugged me, I didn't look up. Everybody spoke in hushed tones, nobody spoke to me directly.

There was wailing, it may have been Joe's mom, maybe his sister. Apparently they still had the strength to cry. It was warm in the room; probably there were too many people.

My dad appeared at my side and I looked up for the first time when he touched my elbow.

"Let's go, Sweetheart," he said softly, "Come with me, I'll drive you."

I nodded and held on to him. The situation had become too surreal; I was waiting to wake up from the nightmare.

The requiem mass was held at St. Anthony's church in the Chambersburg section of Trenton. Joe had been baptized here, and he received his first communion here.

I hadn't been in this church or any other for years. But I didn't feel guilty now, that would have taken too much energy.

My dad led me down the aisle and I couldn't help thinking that this is what I'd been dreaming of since I was a little girl, to be let down the aisle by my dad to a waiting husband by the altar. I could imagine Joe in his white Navy uniform that I'd thought of earlier, as handsome as ever, a shy smile on his face.

Black dots started dancing in front of my eyes and bells started clanging in my head. I slumped against my father.

My mother, sister and grandmother filed into a pew, my dad pushed me in after them and took his seat next to me. I looked up towards the altar, hoping to catch a glimpse of Joe again, but all I could see through the haze of my tears was his coffin. Altar boys were taking their positions, the priest appeared. Father Gabriel. He was decked out in all the usual vestments.

I tuned out and didn't listen to the mass; I knew what was being said. Words that were meant to comfort, but would only make me angry in my current state. I was here for Joe, he would want me here. He would want me to keep it together and not break down sobbing.

I tried to shuffle out the same way I'd come in, unnoticed and unnoticing. But I bumped into someone on my way and looked up as I mumbled an apology. It was Angie Morelli, Joe's mom. Her eyes met mine and they were red and cold. She looked tired and was leaning on her son, Joe's brother Tony. He didn't meet my eyes.

"You made Joe's life a living hell," Mrs. Morelli said and although her voice was soft, she couldn't have hurt me more with a slap in the face. My mom and grandmother sucked in air behind me. "He wanted a wife and a family and now, because of you, he will never have either." Angie Morelli continued.

I could see nodding heads out of the corner of my eye. I realized I had to say something, but I couldn't come up with a defense. Probably she was right. I was the reason Joe had never had kids.

My dad put his arm around my shoulder and led me away from the Morelli clan. After a few steps, we were surrounded by four tall, muscular men dressed in black. Ranger's Merry Men. Ranger ran a company called RangeMan LLC, handling everything from security over protection to bounty hunting, and his employees were well-trained ex-military. And now they were forming a protective circle around me. They thought I needed to be protected from Joe's family. I didn't want to tell them there was nothing they could do, if Mrs. Morelli said Joe's death was my fault, it would become the sacred truth in the 'Burg.

My dad drove us over to the cemetery, right in the middle of a never ending parade of cars; it looked like several hundred people had shown up. I didn't know where the rest of my family was, they were giving me my privacy. We didn't do outbursts of emotion in my family, and it always made us uncomfortable when someone else showed emotions. Probably they didn't know how to comfort me because I couldn't be comforted. What can you say to someone who has just lost their love? I didn't want to hear how good a man Joe had been and how much he'd be missed. I was the one who'd be missing him the most.

When we parked, I felt paralyzed. I had willed myself through the viewing and mass; I didn't think I could make it any further. My dad got out and opened my door, but then he just stood there, at a loss. I was staring at the dash of his Buick as people passed left and right of the car.

A familiar voice made me look up. "Babe."

Ranger was standing in the open door, holding out his hand. I took it and let him pull me out of the car. "I'll take her, Mr. Plum," Ranger said and I saw my dad nod. He stood back and watched as Ranger led me from the parking lot.

Rows of chairs were set up by the gravesite, but I couldn't make myself sit among Joe's family, not after what had been said in church. I wasn't welcome.

Uniformed police stood to on both sides of the coffin as an honor guard. A flag had been draped over the coffin. More uniforms assembled off to the side, carrying rifles. It all registered like I was watching the news on TV.

Ranger and Joe had been working together on some cases; they'd had respect for each other's work, if not for their respective methods. Joe had brought in RangeMan on a few cases where extra power had been needed. And Ranger had often needed Joe's police ties to make an investigation or a capture easier. I'd sometimes gotten the impression that they knew each other better than I knew them. Ranger was here to pay his respects, just like the rest of his merry men.

Ranger had taken over for my dad, leading me through the crowd of mourners to the left of the rows of chairs.

Father Gabriel approached Mrs. Morelli and talked to her for a few minutes. He looked up and motioned for me to come closer and Mrs. Morelli went rigid. Somebody sucked in air right behind me, probably my mom. I sent Father Gabriel a weak smile, hopefully saying I was okay where I was.

As soon as he started the eulogy, I felt myself choke up. I had never been good a funerals, but this time, I had no restraints. After a few minutes, I was bawling. Ranger put his arm around me, but I stepped away from him into my dad's arms. I was falling apart and all I could think about was how it would look if Ranger was comforting me at Joe's funeral. I knew Joe would understand, as much as I knew his family wouldn't.

My dad hugged me tight and squeezed a hanky into my hand. I was sobbing and shaking with the effort and oblivious to everything around me.

I thought I was able to get a grip when I heard "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust" and I lost it again. I jumped when salute shots were fired, then I sobbed again as their meaning hit home. It was a final farewell from Joe's comrades.

By the time my sobs turned into sniffles and I was able to take deep, calming breaths, the service was over and the cemetery was clearing out. Everybody made their way past the Morelli family on their way out; probably they would all meet at one of the big halls in the burg for the proper Italian funeral food: everything. I hadn't even bothered to find out where the funeral feast would be happening. Wild horses couldn't drag me there. Probably Joe's Grandma Bella would put 'the eye' on me for killing her favorite grandson. The eye was an Italian form of voodoo, and the jury was still out on whether it was a real thing or not.

No one approached me, even though everyone knew my relationship to Joe.

When my dad tried to lead me away, I stepped back.

"Go ahead," I said, "I need a moment here. I'll get a cab later; I just need to be alone."

"It's okay, Mr. Plum. I'll take Stephanie home later," Ranger said from somewhere behind me.

Dad nodded and kissed my cheek. "Call me when you get home."

I hugged him and kissed his cheek as well. My mom squeezed my arm on her way by and made me promise to come to their house afterwards.

Soon, I was all alone at the grave. I knew Ranger was waiting for me in his car, he was giving me the space I needed.

The coffin had been lowered into the ground and the ceremonial handfuls of dirt had been thrown onto it, but the big mound of dirt was still waiting to fill in the grave. Probably Ranger had told the personnel to wait to finish up. It was getting dark, the few path lights didn't reach me.

I felt empty. I didn't know how to take the next breath. I wanted to be in the grave with Joe, I didn't want to keep breathing if Joe wasn't in my life.

Clutching a single red rose my mom had given me, I found myself standing at the edge and staring down at the mahogany coffin. Joe was in it. Joe was dead. I couldn't make myself let go of the rose and I didn't want to say goodbye. This goodbye would be forever, and I wasn't ready to let go.

Suddenly I knew what I wanted. I wanted to be with Joe. One step would do it.

Ranger appeared out of nowhere and caught me right before I fell.

"Let me go." I pressed out and struggled in his grip. He held tight and pulled me back.

I was pounding my fists against his chest, the tears flowing again. There was just one thought on my mind.

"Let me go." I said again and again, but my hands were getting weaker and weaker. My knees gave out and I sort of sunk into Ranger and dissolved into tears.

He picked me up and carried me over the graveyard to his car. I didn't want to fight him anymore, I just wanted to die.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all for your wonderful feedback, I appreciate it. Keep it coming, let me know what you think.

A special thanks to Stayce for her help with the tricky parts.

The title is just borrowed from Bon Jovi, their song titles are engraved in my brain.

Disclaimer: If Mickey had wings, he'd be Donald Duck…I own nothing. Not even Jon Bon Jovi.

Rating: R for adult language and situations. Then there's the angst and the drama…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 2

Ranger put me down in front of his car and made sure I could stand on my own two feet.

"You want to go to your parents' now?" He asked.

I shook my head no. "They don't want to see me like this."

"Babe, no one wants to see you like this," Ranger said and beeped his car open. He held the passenger side door open for me and I got in slowly. He was right; _I_ didn't even want to see myself like this. But I had found a way out and Ranger hadn't let me take it.

"Why did you stop me?" I asked when he sat down in the driver's seat; I forced my eyes to meet his. "It's what I want."

Ranger shook his head slowly. "I don't think so. Though I can see how you believe it is."

He cupped my face in his hand and gently stroked his thumb over my cheek. "You will feel better, Babe, I promise. I know it feels like you never will, but trust me."

I pulled away from his touch. Even if he was right, I didn't want it to be true. I never wanted to feel better again, how could I do that to Joe?

He had turned sideways to look at me; his elbow was resting on the steering wheel. When I'd pulled back, he let his hand fall to the seat, but he didn't break eye contact. I knew he meant it, but I didn't know how to tell him to just stop worrying about me, to leave me alone. Not because I'd be fine, but because it wasn't worth the effort.

At that moment, I felt like I was nothing without Joe.

"How can you know how I feel?" I asked, my voice emotionless and like an old woman's.

"I know loss. I know despair." Ranger said. He wasn't going to share more, I knew it. And he didn't have to, I didn't care if he could relate. I didn't want sympathy, I didn't want pity, and I didn't want to be understood. I wanted Joe back. If I couldn't have that I just wanted the pain to end.

I looked down at my hands. The pain in my heart was as strong physically as it was emotionally. My stomach felt like I'd swallowed a rock. My head was pounding.

"Take me home," I whispered.

Ranger turned and started the car. "Home is not where you want to be," He said and pulled out of the parking space.

I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly, trying to find the right way to tell Ranger that home was the _only_ place I wanted to be.

"I'm not gonna let you hole up in your bed again, just forget it." Ranger said as if he was reading my mind.

"Why don't you just leave me alone?" I asked as I turned my head away from him and stared blindly out the window, tears stinging my eyes once again. Ranger took a left onto Olden, pulled over and killed the engine.

I could hear him shift in his seat, probably to face me, but I didn't move.

When he didn't say anything, I pulled on the door handle to get out, but before I could even open the door, Ranger put his hands on my shoulders and turned me to face him.

"You cannot run away or hide from this one," he said softly, "It's going to find you. I can't protect you from it, but I can make sure you make it through."

"I don't want to run," I said, "Why don't you understand? I just want to be left alone."

Ranger sighed and pulled me closer although I tried to resist.

"I don't think it's safe for you to be left alone right now," he almost whispered, "I was watching, remember?"

I gathered up my last strength and straightened up, backing away from him.

"I'm not gonna try anything, I promise. If you are my friend you'll give me the time to mourn." I pleaded. What did it take?

A shadow of pain flickered over his face before it became blank again. He held on to me but didn't pull me closer.

"You have all the time you need, Babe. I'm not pushing you. But I need to know you're safe."

"I am perfectly safe at home!"

Ranger shook his head exasperated and looked up as if asking for divine help.

"Stay with me. There are no memories at my place."

The memories were exactly what I needed right now. I needed to feel Joe's presence. Although I couldn't make myself stay at his house, I could imagine him in every corner of my apartment. Why wouldn't Ranger want me to have those moments?

I sighed. There was no way I could get away from him if he didn't let me. He would never hurt me, but it wouldn't take much to overpower me. I had to convince him with words.

I smoothed out tiny wrinkles in my skirt to gather my thoughts. Ranger was clearly waiting for me to say something.

"I'm better now. I'm not gonna hide in bed anymore. I just want to be by myself."

Ranger seemed to consider, although I wasn't sure I had convinced him. He sighed.

"Today. Tomorrow, my way. Deal?" He stuck his hand out for me to shake. It was a compromise I could live with, I slowly took his hand.

Ranger started the car again and took Olden to Liberty Street. I watched the scenery rush by without seeing it. When we stopped for a light, a black truck pulled up next to us and my breath caught in my throat. Joe had been driving the same truck once, and for a split second, I was convinced the driver was Joe. Then he turned his head towards me and the image shattered. But the truck had brought back the memories. Joe had bought his to replace his Jeep that exploded in my parking lot. Bob hadn't liked to climb into it, so Joe had traded it in for an SUV. Before I could stop it, a sob escaped.

Ranger put his hand on mine in my lap and squeezed it lightly. I didn't know if he knew what I'd seen, but his touch helped. I took a calming breath and forced my eyes away from the truck.

We pulled into my apartment building's lot and Ranger pulled into a parking space.

"No need to come up," I said, "I want my alone time to start right away."

"Just let me check if…"

"No," I interrupted him, "I'll wave as soon as I'm in, within two minutes. Deal?"

Ranger let out a breath and stared straight ahead. I took that as a reluctant yes.

I leaned over and hugged him. "Thank you." I whispered. He hugged me back and kissed me on the cheek.

"Call me if you need me. Any time, Babe, you know that."

"I always have," I said and gave him a small smile.

I made it through the lobby and up to the second floor without flashbacks, but when I stepped out of the elevator and turned towards my apartment, I was hit again. I remembered the time when I'd come home to find Joe sitting in front of my door, his long legs stretched out on the floor, a bag of Pino's take-out next to him. Tears welled up again, and I didn't fight them back.

My apartment seemed dark and empty. My mom must have taken Rex at some point; his cage's spot on the kitchen counter was empty. The answering machine was blinking with messages, but I wasn't ready to listen to them, I could imagine what they'd say.

I took off the suit and put on my terry bathrobe. Joe had always liked how it came apart when he pulled at the belt. I held the fuzzy belt in my hand and let my fingers slide over the material while I stood by the window and waved down at Ranger. I stayed and stared at the fire escape. Then I slowly turned around to let my eyes roam.

There was nothing in my apartment that Joe hadn't touched, no room he hadn't been in.

A movement caught my eye in the parking lot. A black SUV pulled in and came to a stop next to Ranger's black Porsche. Probably one of his Merry Men getting briefed. I should have known. Ranger was going to stay.

My phone rang and I discovered someone had placed the handset on the night table next to the

freshly made bed. It looked like the clean-up fairy had visited while I'd been away, now I noticed my discarded clothes weren't on the floor around me either. My guess was Ranger had asked his housekeeper, Ella, to come over.

I picked up the handset and answered it when I recognized the number. "Hi mom," I said.

"Stephanie, is everything alright? Ranger said you weren't feeling well and needed to go home?"

I sighed. No mom, nothing was alright. Probably wouldn't be alright ever again. How could she even ask me that?

"I'm fine. I just had to be alone for a while." That was as close to the truth as my mom could handle. I just knew she wouldn't understand. My mom was a 'Burg woman through and through, no matter how much pain she'd be in, she'd always maintain a composed and quiet exterior.

"Then why didn't you pay your respects over at the Knights of Columbus hall? It was embarrassing, your father and I had to cover for you. I didn't raise you that way, Stephanie."

I couldn't be mad at my mother. She loved me, she just had different priorities. I truly believe she wouldn't understand how my life had ended with Joe's. But I still had to bite my tongue so I wouldn't make a rude comment. I took a deep breath and counted to ten.

"Thank you for doing that, mom. I have to go now. Talk to you later?" and I disconnected. I knew my mom would be staring at the receiver and shake her head in disbelief about her disrespectful daughter, but I didn't care. Her biggest problem was that the 'Burg would be talking because I didn't show up for the funeral feast. I snorted. That didn't even register on my issues scale; I couldn't care less what the 'Burg thought of me at that moment.

The conversation with my mom had aggravated me enough; I decided it was as good a time as any to listen to my messages on the answering machine.

Just as I had suspected, the first call was from my best friend Mary Lou. "Steph…I just heard and…oh God, I'm so sorry. Please call me!" She'd sounded like she was close to tears herself. If I talked to her right then, I would have started the waterworks again. Next was Lula, and her message was basically the same.

The third and fourth were from my mom, left three days ago. Probably she came by after that, otherwise there would have been more messages from her. There was a message of just breathing, and I couldn't identify the breather. Valerie was the next caller; she had broken down into tears after "Steph…"

But it was the last message that caught my attention.

"Stephanie," a man's voice said, "aren't' you glad I took care of your little problem? Now there's nothing standing between us anymore…"

My heart stopped for a beat and my blood froze in my veins. I had to hold on to the counter to steady myself. After a couple minutes, my heart rate was approaching normal and I rewound the message to play it again. I still didn't recognize the voice. My next instinct was to call…Joe. This time I actually wailed and slid down the counter to the floor, where I hugged my knees to my chest and sobbed uncontrollably.

Ever since I'd become a bounty hunter and Joe'd been my first skip to bring in, he had helped me. Every time some crazy bastard would stalk me, threaten my friends or leave sick presents for me, whenever I made a gruesome discovery, Joe'd been by my side. And he would never be again. I would never again see him shake his head while smiling, hands on his hips, eyebrows raised. A comment like "Other cops' girlfriends deal with broken fingernails. My girlfriend finds broken bodies" or "I hear they're hiring at the button factory" on his lips, because he knew that would get him a death glare from me. Then he would hug and kiss me and that made it all better somehow. Of course later on, it would become the reason for an argument, how he didn't want to find me in those situations and how he thought I should find a different job.

I realized I was feeling sorry for myself and tried to pull myself together, like mom had told me to do when I was five years old. The sobs died down to hiccups after a while and I was able to take normal breaths again.

Right, the message. There was a chance it was just a prank. I'd made enough enemies over the years, I was sure a lot of them were itching to get even. But what if it wasn't? What if it was a message from Joe's killer?

I had to find out what'd happened. Now.

Telling myself I was strong enough to hear it, I called Eddie Gazarra. He'd been one of the first to know, he would have to have all the information. I didn't know what shift he was working, but I'd seen him at the funeral in uniform, so I tried the station first.

He was a good friend and didn't torture me with 'How are you feeling?', he asked if I needed anything by way of greeting.

"Eddie, I need to know what happened. Who…" I couldn't make myself say it as I was choking up again. Eddie was quiet for a moment, then he sighed.

"You don't want to know, Hon. Trust me."

"No, I'm sure you're right. But I _need_ to know," I said, taking a deep breath. "Can you come over later?"

I didn't really want to see or talk to anyone, but I couldn't bear to hear the truth over the phone either.

Eddie sighed. "I'm almost done here. Let me grab something to eat and I'll be over in an hour, okay?"

After we'd disconnected, I washed my face clean, pulled my hair into a ponytail and went to change into a t-shirt and sweatpants. Whoever had visited had cleaned my entire apartment, even the bathroom was spotless. Joe's toiletries were still on the counter, he'd left a few necessities at my place for when he stayed over. I picked up the can of shaving cream and smelled it. It was some of the essence of Joe, a scent I would always associate with him.

I was standing by my closet with my face buried in one of Joe's shirts when I heard a knock on the door. More out of habit than security, I checked the peephole. Eddie smiled at me; he had changed out of his uniform and was wearing a sweatshirt now. I opened the door and he stepped in, a pizza box in hand. The gesture made me smile; I didn't have the heart to tell him I wasn't hungry.

He didn't say anything, he just hugged me and I leaned against him. After a long moment, he cleared his throat and took a step back.

"How're you holding up, Hon?" he asked. I shrugged and stared at the floor. "Took some effort to get past your bodyguard," he said, "Good thing I know Manoso."

I hadn't considered that Ranger would watch and check all visitors.

Eddie walked past me and put the pizza box on the dining room table before he came back and took me by the elbow.

"Let's eat first, okay?"

I nodded and followed him. He grabbed plates and paper towels out of the kitchen and joined me at the table. I took a slice of pizza but didn't feel like eating it, the sandwich from earlier still had me full.

Eddie finished his pizza and I looked up at him, pulling my legs up to hold on to something.

"Tell me, Eddie."

He sighed, pushed his chair back and took his plate into the kitchen. "You want a beer?" He asked and I heard him open the fridge. No, I didn't want a beer; I wanted to know what happened! "Sure."

We took our beers to the couch where I assumed the same position and waited for Eddie to start. The cold beer felt good going down my sore throat, so I took another pull.

"The call came in around 9:30," Eddie began, "Officer requesting backup. Standard procedure. Big Dog and Robin answered it." He was peeling the label off his bottle, his elbows on his thighs. His voice was calm, but I could tell how nervous he was.

"Joe had requested backup?" I asked. Eddie nodded.

"He was working on a case with Thomalla, but Thomalla was out that day. From what I understand, Joe had gotten a tip about a warehouse by the river and went out to investigate."

I knew Joe had planned on doing paperwork all morning, so for something to make him up and leave, the tip must have been credible.

"Then what?" I prodded when Eddie was quiet for too long, probably searching for the right words.

"Big Dog and Robin found Joe at the warehouse, he'd been shot." Eddie shook his head. "I don't know what made him go out there by himself in the first place."

I hugged my legs closer and started rocking slowly back and forth.

"When Dog got to Joe, he was unconscious. They called the ambulance right away, but by the time it got there…" He left the sentence unfinished.

All I could think was that Joe hadn't died alone. Big Dog and Robin had been with him.

"Anyone at the scene? Any clues?"

Eddie shook his head again. "Nothing. Joe's weapon had been fired, but they didn't find the bullets. So they assume he shot whoever was there with him."

"Was he…" I had to swallow back tears, "Was he hurting, Eddie? Was he in pain?"  
Eddie stared at his hands and shook his head slowly. "I wasn't there, but he was already unconscious and they got to him within minutes. It must have happened real fast, Steph. I'm so sorry."

He reached over and hugged me again. I leaned my head against his shoulder and let the tears flow this time. The image of Joe wounded on the ground wouldn't go away. But now I knew he hadn't suffered.

I pulled away from Eddie and got up to grab a tissue. "Thank you," I said softly. I knew how much effort it must have cost Eddie to tell me.

"Who is on the case?"

Eddie shrugged. "As far as I know, Thomalla. It ties into the case. He's a recent transfer from Newark, but a good guy. "

I nodded. Joe had told me as much. I hadn't met Thomalla, but he and Joe seemed to get along okay. Joe would usually work alone, and they weren't partners per se, but every big case always had a primary and a secondary department member assigned. I knew Joe'd been the primary detective, but I didn't know much about the case.

For now I'd heard enough. I made a mental note to talk to Thomalla when I could think straight again.

"Are you gonna be okay by yourself, Steph? I promised Shirley I'd be home at a reasonable hour. She's…" He stopped and his eyes widened as he looked at me.

"It's okay, Eddie. She's worried about you after what happened to Joe. I understand. I'll be fine, don't worry." I motioned towards the parking lot "Ranger is here."

Eddie got up and took his empty bottle into the kitchen.

"Call me if you need to talk," he said and gave me a peck on the cheek. I nodded and thanked him again.

After he left, I leaned against the closed door for a while to calm down. I hadn't told Eddie about the message; I didn't know what to make of it yet. But I had to share it, get a second opinion. Or a first one, for that matter.

A knock on the door startled me. I jerked back with the doorknob in hand and opened the door.

"Everything okay?" Ranger asked.

If I lived to be 100 years, I never wanted to hear that question again. I knew it was well meant, but I was so tired of it. No, nothing was okay. Why did everyone ask me that? Did they really want to hear the answer?

"I asked Eddie to come over to tell me what happened," I said, "I had to know."

"Babe," Ranger said.

I sighed. "I had to know." I repeated and Ranger nodded almost imperceptibly.

"There was nothing anyone could have done," Ranger said softly. I looked up into his eyes. "You know what happened?" Ranger nodded again and shrugged slightly. "I figured you'd ask when you were ready for it."

"Did you hear anything? Is anyone bragging about it, are there any suspects?" I asked. Ranger shook his head.

"There's more." I motioned for him to follow me and played the message on the answering machine again. Ranger listened, his face expressionless.

"Do you recognize the voice?" He asked afterwards. I shook my head no.

"Did you play the message for Gazarra?"

"No, I…I didn't know…do you think it's real?"

Ranger pulled out his cell phone and flipped it open. "Let's find out."

He was on the phone for less than a minute, supposedly with one of the Merry Men. From what I understood, Ranger was giving orders to access my phone records and set up a trace. I'd worked at RangeMan at some point, and I knew their tools to hack into someone's privacy rivaled those of the CIA. If successful, we'd get the caller's phone number and possibly his name.

Ranger disconnected and put his phone back into his pocket.

"Whoever it is, he knows you." He said. I nodded. That much had been clear to me.

"You can't stay here." He stated simply. I had expected as much, it was usually his first reaction.

"I'm safe here. There's no reason to believe he'll come to my apartment!" I reasoned. My apartment was my cave; it was the only place I wanted to be for now. As soon as I got Rex back, it would be home again.

Ranger shook his head slightly. "Too many variables here, Babe." I raised my eyebrows.

"Two entrances, plus the fire escape. Numerous neighbors," he explained, "I can't keep you safe here."

I went into the kitchen to grab another beer and walked past Ranger into the living room. Ranger followed, taking in the pizza box still on the table.

"Did you eat?"

I followed his gaze. "I thought about it." I shrugged.

"You shouldn't drink on an empty stomach. Or at all." Ranger said.

I sat down on the couch and tucked my feet in under me.

"I shouldn't do a lot of things. And a lot of things that shouldn't happen, do." I didn't know where that had come from, and it had come out more harshly than intended. Ranger stepped closer, hands on his hips.

"We're just speeding up the process a little, Babe. Tomorrow, I would have made you come with me anyway." He sat down next to me and took the bottle from my hands. When I reached after it, he took my hands in his.

"Remember how I said you couldn't run away from it? Booze will make you feel worse, trust me on this."

I knew getting drunk wasn't the answer, why was Ranger treating me like a child? A small part of me recognized he wanted to protect me and help me, but I had no patience for it. I just wanted to be alone.

"I'm going to ask you to leave now," I said calmly, "You agreed to it. If you break our deal now I see no reason to honor it tomorrow."

Ranger's eyes widened a fraction of an inch, a sure indication that I had shocked him. He looked like he was going to respond, but then he just sighed and got up.

His phone chirped and he answered it, walking into the kitchen as he talked.

I took that opportunity to reclaim my beer and take a long pull. It shouldn't have surprised me that Ranger had seen right through me again. After the first beer, I'd decided to keep drinking until I passed out, hoping the alcohol would dull all my senses, including the pain. I would deal another day, for now I needed escape.

Ranger came back and wordlessly took the beer from me again.

"That was Tank. The call originated from a prepaid cell phone, no name."

I shrugged. "Probably a hoax. Someone's idea of a joke."

"If it was anybody else, I'd entertain that possibility. But consider your track record, Babe." I didn't respond. I wasn't open to reason.

"Do you really want me to leave?" He asked, his voice softer than before.

I looked up. He was waiting for an answer. He was asking me to make a decision.

I threw my hands up exasperated. "Leave. Stay. I don't give a rat's ass what you do. All I was asking you to do was give me one day!" I was almost yelling now, and I didn't know why.

Ranger's expression remained calm.

I slumped down on the couch and buried my face in a pillow.

A moment later, I felt Ranger's hand on my back.

"Babe," he said, "I'll leave if you want me to. But I'd rather you come with me."

"Why?" I asked into the pillow. I didn't have the strength to come up.

I felt Ranger lift me up and settle down on the couch with me in his lap.

"Hey!" I said, but there was not much protest in my voice. It did feel good to be held.

"Do you know what Morelli was working on?"

Just like that, my beer buzz was gone. 'What Morelli _was_ working on'. Past tense. He would never again be working on this or any other case. Joe was gone. I sucked in some air loudly and it came out in a huge sob.

Ranger pulled me against him and I cried on his shoulder again. I hadn't thought there were any tears left in me, yet here they were. Would there ever be a time when the mention of Joe's name wouldn't make me cry?

"Babe, I'm sorry," Ranger whispered close to my ear, "I didn't mean to…"

"'s okay." I mumbled into his shoulder. I lifted my head and slipped off his lap. "Just give me a moment."

And I ran into the bathroom and locked the door. There was no way I could keep this up, I was a crying mess.

Ranger knocked on the door a few minutes later. "You okay in there?" He asked.

I splashed some cold water on my face and wondered if I was okay, or if I would ever be again. It's not like I was a control freak, but I like to think that I usually have a pretty decent head on my shoulders. I could not remember a time when I had felt so empty, so hopeless and so disgusted with myself at the same time.

"Babe?" Ranger asked, reminding me that I hadn't replied.

"Please go." I said and realized this was exactly why I had wanted to be alone in the first place. If one more person asked me if I was okay, I would scream.

"Can't do that until you come out." Ranger said.

I sighed and put my elbows on the bathroom counter so I could rest my head which had started to pound again. What the hell did it take to grieve in peace? I had lost everything; didn't I deserve some time to feel sorry for myself? Didn't I?

I straightened, walked to the door, unlocked it and yanked it open.

Ranger took a step back, I had obviously surprised him. Hell, I had surprised myself.

"Go." I said, my voice void of all emotion, I was spent. Ranger looked like he was going to say something, so I held up my hand in the universal 'stop' gesture and just pointed at the front door.

I thought I saw pain flicker across his face, but I may have just been seeing what I felt.

Ranger turned and walked out of my bedroom. Moments later, I heard the front door open and shut. I collapsed onto the floor; I couldn't even make it to the bed.

I hadn't wanted to send Ranger away, I wanted him here. He must have put his life on hold to be there for me, now that I didn't have a life anymore. That wasn't fair to him, since I didn't want to be consoled.

I curled up into a fetal position and cried silently.

Tomorrow, I would talk to Thomalla to find out what the case was. Tomorrow, I would tell Ranger I was sorry. Tomorrow, I may be able to think again. Just as long as I didn't have to do any of that today.

I was rocking back and forth, hugging my knees to my chest, there were no thoughts in my head.

That's when the phone rang. No way was I going to answer it, I didn't care who it was. I'd left the answering machine on for just that reason. The machine picked up and I stopped rocking and lay perfectly still to listen. Nothing at first, I almost thought it was going to be a hang-up when the caller started speaking.

"I like that you send all the men away, Stephanie. I'd take care of them like I took care of the pig, but I appreciate you saving me the trouble. No one can come between us, right? I knew you'd see it my way. I have a present for you, I hope you'll like it."

A chill went through my entire body when I heard the beep that signaled the end of the call. Whoever it was, he was watching me, he knew Eddie and Ranger had been here. I had a feeling I was not going to like the present. I had heard the tone of voice before when the crazy boxer Ramirez had become obsessed with me: this caller was marching to the beat of his own drum, he was crazy. Nuthouse crazy. Ramirez had had crazy, evil eyes to go along with his habit of scaring and maiming women.

But what if he'd been telling the truth? What if the caller was Joe's killer? If I'd pretend to share his delusion, he might agree to meet me, and I'd get to…I knew I should subdue and arrest him or something, but I right now, I was pretty sure I'd shoot the bastard. It wouldn't bring Joe back, but it would feel right.

That thought brought me to my feet. All of a sudden I had a plan, a purpose: Revenge.

This, I had to do alone. If I told Ranger, he would take over, thinking he'd protect me. He wouldn't understand it would only work if I did it myself, and it would only work if the son of a bitch ended up dead. I was pretty sure Ranger had killed for me before, and that time, the guy had deserved it, too. But it hadn't been as personal for me. And I'd never asked Ranger to do what he did. I wouldn't this time, either. If he didn't know, Ranger couldn't hold me back, and I wouldn't risk him getting blood on his hands for me again. This was the only way.

I was hoping asshole would call again, I'd be ready that time.

I had that out-of-body feeling again as I walked into the kitchen and got my revolver out of the cookie jar, checking it for bullets. The need for revenge had taken over, I'd found a way to replace despair.

I held up the gun and pointed it at the door, imagining the caller to walk through it. Where would I shoot him? Where would I cause maximum pain, but wouldn't kill him right away? I was planning on emptying all six bullets into him, no empty chamber for safety this time, hopefully leaving him to bleed to a slow and painful death. A smile crept onto my face at the thought. I had never liked guns, but for the first time, the .38 felt comfortable in my hand. It was the means to an end.

"I'll get even, Joe," I whispered.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you so much for your reviews! I appreciate each and every one of them, please keep them coming, let me know what you think!

The title is borrowed from Bon Jovi and doesn't really have anything to do with the story…so sue me, I like Bon Jovi…

Spaciba to Stayce as usual for being there in my time of need!! I'll even put a bow on him for you!

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, just the plot. And sadly, there's no money in the plot.

Rating: R for adult language and situations. Then there's the angst and the drama…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 3

Apparently, I was not as ready as I'd assumed. When the phone rang, I jumped and almost dropped the gun on the floor. Then my heart started racing.

I debated how I should answer it for a beat, then I snatched up the receiver and said 'Hello?' neutrally. I didn't want the bastard to believe I'd been waiting for his call.

I'd been too flustered to check the caller ID, my choice of greeting had been right, I realized it when I heard Valerie's soft voice.

"Steph?"

I let out a shaky breath. "Hi, Val."

"How are you feeling?"

Arrgh! Couldn't people just stop asking me that? First off, I was feeling sad, lonely, desperate and overall crappy. Second off, every time I heard the question, I was reminded of it.

"Well, you know…" I was beyond telling people I was fine to make them feel better. "Hanging in there."

"Uhm, I was wondering if you'd like to come over for dinner tomorrow? Albert is out of town on a conference, so it would just be us girls."

Well, I thought, three girls, a horse and a crying baby. If there was anything I wasn't in the mood for, it was playing normal in front of the kids. Pretending it was normal for my niece Mary Alice to think she was a horse. Holding Baby Lisa and trying to come up with new ways to get her to stop crying. No thanks.

"I don't think so, Val, I wouldn't be good company." I said truthfully. I wanted to be good company even less than I wanted company around.

Valerie seemed a little relieved that I declined, but that could have been my imagination because I was so relieved she didn't try to persuade me. She told me again how sorry she was, and we disconnected.

I stood at the counter trying to regain some of my earlier determination when the phone rang again, startling me, again. Maybe I should forget my plan and just disconnect the damned thing, I thought.

This time I checked the readout: it was Ranger. Why was he calling me? I picked up the receiver.

"What did he say?" Ranger asked.

"Huh?" I wasn't very articulate, but I hadn't expected him to greet me with a question.

"The guy. Tank just called to report you had another call from him."

I'd forgotten about the trace. Mental head slap.

"I didn't talk to him."

"Did he leave a message?"

"Yes."

"I'll be right up," he said and disconnected. I sighed. I didn't know why I'd been so monosyllabic with him, why hadn't I just told him about the message? Probably he would have still decided to come up, which meant he'd been in the parking lot all along. Not that I'd thought he'd actually left. I just had to give up on the hope to get any alone time.

When I heard the door locks tumble, I quickly dashed into the bathroom to check my appearance. I didn't want to have the pity-inducing look, I was tired of pity.

I looked just as bad as I had expected, so I splashed some cold water onto my face and pulled my hair back again. Then I took a couple deep breaths and straightened my shoulders.

Ranger was waiting for me in the foyer.

"I thought you were gonna give me some space..." I said by way of greeting. He looked like he was going to ask it, so I put up my hand.

"If you're gonna ask you how I'm feeling or if I'm okay, I'm gonna scream."

The corners of his mouth came up the tiniest bit, as if he was thinking about smiling, and he nodded slightly. "Fair enough."

Ranger gestured towards the kitchen. "I need to hear the message."

I raised my chin. "And this couldn't wait until tomorrow?" I wasn't being fair, and I didn't care. He'd promised me to give me the day and he kept breaking the promise. Yet there was no doubt in my mind he'd be ready to cart me off to 'safety' tomorrow and expected me to fulfill my part of the deal. How could I flesh out a plan to take out Joe's killer if I kept getting interrupted? Besides, with Ranger around, I'd never get out of the house unnoticed.

"Babe." Ranger said. Pretty much what I'd expected. I sighed and turned towards the kitchen where I rewound the tape and played the message for him.

"There," I said afterwards, "you've heard it. You can leave now."

Ranger's expression showed no emotion. He looked up at me ignoring what I'd said. "Still no idea who it is?"

I shook my head no. This second message had sounded creepier, but his voice still wasn't familiar. He sounded like Scrog, the psycho who had worshipped Ranger to the point of wanting to be him. That had included me, he had made me part of his obsession under the impression that I was Ranger's girl. This caller had the same kind of crazy tone in his voice. What if this guy was as obsessed, only with Joe? Or maybe even with me, what if he 'had to have' me, at all cost? Maybe he thought that Joe'd stood in the way of us getting together? I tried to remember every guy I'd ever dated, but no crazy guy came to mind. Besides, I was pretty sure I would have recognized the voice, at least in the 'sounds familiar' kind of way.

"Something you not telling me?" Ranger asked, his left eyebrow raised a fraction of an inch.

I hated that he could read me like a book. "He sounds creepy, like Scrog." I said.

"And?"

I shrugged. "And that's what I was thinking." Pretty much, anyway.

Ranger popped the tape out of the machine and pocketed it. I took a new one out of a drawer and put it in.

"I'm gonna have the guys listen to it. Maybe someone will recognize him."

I shrugged. "Knock yourself out."

"Nice try. I know you have other things on your mind right now, but if you're gonna pretend this isn't serious, at least put some effort into it." Ranger said and crossed his arms over his chest.

Good, I thought. If he thought I was trying not to care, he wouldn't think I'd try to go after the guy. I decided to go with that and shrugged again. "Whatever."

Maybe I'd gone too far with it, Ranger didn't look like he believed me, he just continued to stare.

"You got what you came for." I said, deciding to change the topic. Ranger half-nodded.

"You know the way out." I said and walked into the living room. Of course I expected him to come after me and either hold me back or confront me in some other way. I sat down on the couch, listening for any sounds from him. I didn't have to wait long; he walked in a minute later.

"Are you finished?" he asked.

"Am I _finished_?" I replied slowly, raising my eyebrows. Did he actually have the nerve to treat me like a hysteric teenager and not take me seriously? I wondered if he thought I wasn't freaked out enough by the caller or if I was acting like a brat.

"Yeah, are you done? I understand how you feel, Babe, but that doesn't change this situation.Can you carry on an adult conversation?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked, keeping my voice calm. Ranger raised an eyebrow again but didn't respond.

At least I now knew he thought I was going with infantile denial. That did it. I didn't know what game Ranger was playing, but I really didn't need any more of it. I brushed past him and into my bedroom, slammed the door shut and locked it. It was the only thing I could think of, because just like that, the tears were back. It seemed every emotion in me started the waterworks that day, because this time it was anger. I was so angry at Ranger, I felt like slapping him.

I slid down onto the floor with my back against the door and cried silently. I remembered how my tears had always affected Joe; he'd never been quite sure what to do when I cried. Usually he'd say something like "Shit, I hate when you cry". And now that I was thinking of Joe's face when he said this, and the silent tears became loud, racking sobs. I grabbed a sweater off the floor and hugged it to my chest. I wondered if I could ever remember his face without the pain.

If Ranger knocked, I didn't hear him. I just noticed the door pressing into my back and pushing me over the floor when it opened.

He sat down beside me wordlessly and pulled me into his arms. I wanted to yell at him to leave me alone and get the hell out, but all I did was let myself be held. He encircled me with his arms and stroked my hair until I calmed down again.

"I'm sorry." He said simply. I didn't know if he was sorry for being an ass or for my loss, but I decided to take it as an apology and nodded, my face still resting against his chest. He was warm and felt safe and I wondered if I could sap some of his strength by leaning against him. He slid an arm under my knees and pulled me onto his lap, then he continued stroking my hair, not saying anything else. For a while, I was able to completely shut out all thoughts and just breathe. I was closer to relaxing than I'd been in days.

When the phone rang, I yelped, and I felt Ranger go for his gun before he recovered. He stood up and pulled me with him.

"You should answer that." He said, nudging me out of the bedroom.

I got to the kitchen and picked up the receiver. The caller ID told me it was an 'unknown caller'.

Before I hit the 'Talk' button, I looked up to see Ranger emerge from my bedroom. He was on his cell phone already and mouthed 'Go'. I took that as my cue to answer, right on the third ring.

"Hello?" I was surprised my voice actually sounded normal when I felt everything but. My heart was racing and black dots were dancing in front of my eyes.

"At last. I was beginning to think you were avoiding me." Asshole said.

Ranger reached around me and pushed the record button.

"Why would I do that?" I asked, unable to come up with anything better. Ranger put his arm around me and that grounded me a little. He squeezed my shoulder as if to say 'Keep going'.

"Listen, I know you can't talk right now, you have the merc around."

I cut my eyes to Ranger who took a step back and lifted his own phone up, I assumed to talk to Tank.

"So I'm gonna keep it short. We'll be together soon enough, don't worry about a thing. No one can find us where we're going." I was still thinking of a response when I heard the dial tone.

My hand was shaking when I put the phone back on its base. If he'd been trying to freak me out, he'd succeeded. I could hear Ranger talking in the bedroom. Asshole's voice still didn't sound familiar, but he'd sounded like he was losing it, and fast. Suddenly my plan to meet him alone didn't seem all that appealing anymore.

"Keep in touch." Ranger said and snapped his phone shut as he approached me.

"No good," He said, shaking his head, "he wasn't on long enough for Tank to track him."

He rewound the tape and listened to the call again. His face was blank, but I could see a jaw muscle move, giving away his tension. That was as close as Ranger would get to showing emotion, and it surprised me. I'd been in many messes since I'd met Ranger, and he'd been there to get me out of a lot of them. I'd never seen him lose his cool. It was gone so fast, the blank face regaining control, that I thought maybe I'd imagined it. I wasn't exactly seeing or thinking straight.

"He knows you're here." I said, just now allowing myself to think about what Asshole had said. For some reason I'd thought he called from far away. Like Newark. Him being close was too scary.

Ranger nodded. I looked around as if I could find a peep hole or camera that way. "Do you think he's watching me?" I had a knot in my stomach at the thought of it.

"I have Hal and Lester outside," Ranger said, "if there's anything or anyone out there that doesn't belong, they'll know." I noticed how that didn't answer my question. So it was a possibility.

"I don't think I want to know where he's planning to take me." I said. Ranger looked up and our eyes held.

"It won't come to that, Babe." He said. I didn't like what I could read into that. It had sounded like a promise, like he'd do anything to protect me from Asshole. Now I remembered why I needed to go after him alone, I didn't want to drag Ranger into it. But if Ranger had needed any more reason to not leave my side, this call would surely have convinced him.

"It's late." I said into the silence. "I'm going to bed."

If Ranger was surprised at my change of topic he didn't show it. "Guess it's no use trying to ask you to stay with me?"

"Guess not." I confirmed.

"I'll be on the couch then."

I sighed and shrugged, leaving Ranger behind on my way to the bedroom. I knew there was no use trying to get him to leave again and I didn't have the energy for another argument. I wasn't as much sleepy as exhausted, I really needed to lie down. The day, the crying, and the psycho phone calls had worn me out. But most of all, it was the feeling of doom at having to face all this without Joe.

I did my thing in the bathroom and changed into my flannel pajamas, I needed all the comfort I could get.

I lay down on the bed on my back, spread-eagled, my eyes on the ceiling, hoping for inspiration to strike and let me come up with a plan. Ranger was talking on the phone; I could hear his deep voice, but not what he was saying. Probably giving Tank instructions, planning the next steps. Maybe I should be involved in that, I thought, but that didn't fit into my plans at present. I couldn't pretend to be playing along, Ranger would see right through me.

'No one can find us where we're going', the caller's voice replayed in my mind and I shuddered involuntarily. What if he was successful? Was I being as crazy as he was for thinking I could shoot him before he could take me? I told myself to keep my eyes on the goal, and the goal was to get close enough to the bastard to find out if he was the real thing and then shoot the shit out of him.

Okay, I decided, first things first. I had to get out of my apartment. Ranger would try to protect me and keep me safe at all cost. Unfortunately, keeping me safe probably equaled being holed up in his apartment, or his office building or a safe house. I had no doubt he would ask one or more of the Merry Men to keep watch as well. It wasn't impossible to outsmart them, but it was highly improbable. So that left tonight.

Supposing I could sneak out on Ranger, where would I go?

I was pondering the question when Ranger knocked on the door. "Come in." I said, trying to make my voice sound sleepy.

Ranger came in and sat down on the side of my bed. Part of me wanted to pull him in to have him hold me so I could actually sleep. Unfortunately, I couldn't afford to sleep if I wanted to make a smooth getaway. And I'd also need Ranger in another room for it.

"Sorry if I woke you," he said, "Just making sure you have everything you need. I'll be in the living room if you need me."

I nodded and he leaned down to kiss my head. "Thank you." I said.

He stood and left for the bathroom. This was my chance! When I heard water running, I sprang into action.

I grabbed clothes off the floor randomly, put them on, and pushed my feet into sneakers.

If I'd manage to be as fast as I planned, it might just work, I realized. In any case, it was the only thing I could come up with. Tomorrow, it would be too late for sure.

I grabbed my shoulder bag and almost flew out of the bedroom. My gun was still on the kitchen counter, it would only take a minute to get it, but right now, I didn't know if I had that minute. I told myself I could always get another gun somewhere once I needed it, but if I didn't make it out of the apartment right now; I might never get the opportunity to use it.

I could still hear the shower running when I got to the front door, but I didn't give myself time for the elevator and ran down the stairs instead.

I held my breath when I got to the downstairs landing, I couldn't believe I'd gotten this far. If Hal or Lester were sitting in the beach chairs in the lobby, I'd be screwed. I opened the fire door slowly and peeked out, as if that was any safer than walking out. The lobby was lit around the clock, so I'd be visible on my way to the front door. I took a deep breath and made a dash for it, not daring to breathe until the front door whooshed close behind me.

Of course now I had a whole new problem: It was the middle of the night, I had no car and my cell phone had died, I hadn't charged it in days.

As soon as Ranger got out of the bathroom, he'd be searching for me. And he was very good at finding people.

I did some mental knuckle cracking and tried to prioritize. First, I had to get off the street. Probably Ranger had the front of my apartment building on a surveillance route and I had avoided the merry men by luck so far.

I needed a place to hide that Ranger wouldn't think of. Since Ranger knew me better than anyone, that was a tough one. My family was out, so were Lula, Mary Lou and Connie. As much as they'd be willing to help me out, Ranger would visit them first. I wrapped my arms around myself and started walking to the closest convenience store to use their pay phone, hoping that by the time I got there I'd know who to call. I tried to think like Ranger, who would he think I'd turn to?

Once inside the 7/11, I bought a bottle of water and put some change into the payphone. I went down far on my mental list of people I knew, I was hoping it was far enough.

It rang five times and I was about to hang up when a sleepy voice answered.

"It's Steph," I said, "Stephanie Plum. Sorry to wake you."

"Yeah, what do you want?"

The good news was, he hadn't told me to go to hell right away and he hadn't asked me how I was coping. There was a possibility he hadn't heard about Joe.

"I need your help, Randy."

Randy Briggs was a little person, a midget, and a computer whiz. Our paths had crossed when he'd been FTA a few years back and I'd been the lucky bounty hunter to track him down. His bond had been so low that Ranger wasn't interested, he'd been arrested for carrying a knife, and bringing him in had been way more trouble than gain. He'd helped me out a couple times after that, but we hadn't spoken in a while. He was the only one I could come up with on a short notice as someone I could ask a favor. To say that we were friends was a gross exaggeration, but he hadn't hung up yet, so there was hope.

I fibbed my heart out, telling him how someone had stolen my car and broken into my apartment, my parents had their house fumigated and I needed a place to stay because the cops had sealed my place. I knew from personal experience that the police actually did that, conserving crime scenes and all that.

I must have sounded desperate enough, because Randy agreed to pick me up. I high-fived myself mentally as I waited for him, so far my plan was working. I hid behind the store's shelves and kept an eye out for Ranger and his men, since I didn't think I had much more time if I stayed in my neighborhood.

Briggs pulled up in front of the store twenty minutes later and I sprinted out and into his car in under a minute.

I wanted to yell "GO!" but I remembered I hadn't told him about my need for a fast getaway so I forced myself to be calm and greeted him.

"Thank you so much for doing this for me." I said.

Briggs put his car in gear as he glanced over at me. "Mostly I'm curious to learn what's going on, I can't imagine I'd be your first choice when you're looking for help. Also, you look like shit."

Damn, I'd forgotten Briggs was pretty smart, I hadn't thought up a lie for his question yet. And I hadn't had the time to put on make-up and do my hair, so probably he was right about the way I looked.

He turned onto Hamilton heading towards the apartment complex he lived in, and I was still chewing my lip thinking.

I kept checking the rearview mirror, still not believing I'd made a clear getaway. Of course it was a futile gesture, since everyone at RangeMan knew how to follow a car without being noticed.

"Okay, either you tell me what's really going on or I'll change my mind about helping you." Briggs said. I cut my eyes to him to check if he was serious. He looked like a child behind the wheel of his mom's car, sitting on a booster seat with his feet barely dangling over the edge of the car seat. His car had been specially equipped for his needs.

"Well?" He asked. I sighed. "It's complicated. I need a beer to tell you everything."

I didn't want a beer; I wanted to buy time to come up with what to tell Briggs. It worked; he nodded and said we'd talk at his apartment.

A half hour later, beer in hand, my cell phone charging, we were sitting on the couch in his living room and he was looking at me expectantly.

I decided to tell him the truth, minus a few details. So I left Joe out, mostly because I didn't trust myself to talk about him without crying, and told him about my newest stalker and how I had to avoid Ranger who was trying to get me into a safe house. I was a bit vague on the reason why I didn't want Ranger involved, I couldn't find a safe way to say I didn't want Ranger to kill for me. I told him how I may need his talents to do some research on the Net for me; I didn't want to ask him for the gun I needed even more.

Briggs looked as if he liked the idea of being needed. Not that I thought he harbored any romantic feelings for me, but I thought it made him feel important. I didn't think Briggs had many close friends.

In any case, he agreed to letting me stay at his place a couple days and I took a long pull from my beer. So far, so good.

"I need to find out who this guy is," I said, "do you think you could track down who's calling my cell phone?"

Randy scratched his chin. "Not sure. It can be done, but it's tricky."

Not what I had wanted to hear. "How long would it take you to set it up?" Randy shrugged.

"I'll look into it tomorrow. I have some coding to finish up, then I'll have time. Could be interesting to find out how seriously cell phone companies take security." I didn't quite share his geeky enthusiasm, but I knew that if it was possible, Randy would find a way.

"Do you know anything about this guy?" Randy asked. When I shook my head he chuckled.

"You sure know how to attract lunatics, that's for sure."

My guess was he was referring to the time when a 'lunatic' had tied him up and stuffed him into my closet to get him out of the way. Not one of my favorite memories, I'd been scared shitless and had gotten shot.

At this point, I was doing my best to keep my composure. I didn't need to stir up more bad memories. It was late and I was beyond exhausted and could barely keep my eyes open. But at least the excitement of the past few hours had helped me temporarily distract myself from Joe.

I decided to ignore Briggs' remark and busied myself with my cell phone instead. There were dozens of messages and I decided to leave them for another day. Only one person I wanted to talk on the phone to, and I was hoping he had my cell number. At some point I'd have to let Ranger know I was okay so that he wouldn't tear up Trenton looking for me, I figured.

"Do you know if this one is dangerous?" Randy asked. He was persistent. I thought about how to best answer his question. Ranger thought the guy was serious, and I didn't need any further evidence. But Randy might decide it was too dangerous to help me if I told him that. But if I downplayed it, he could think it wasn't all that urgent and not put all his efforts into helping me. I shrugged. "I'm here. I need your help. That's pretty much all I know for sure. I'm taking him seriously all right."

Randy seemed to think about that for a minute. "He doesn't know you're here, right?"

I shook my head. "No way."

"Well that's a relief."

In more ways than he could imagine, I thought, but didn't say out loud. I didn't want to alarm him.

"So you're gonna help me?" I asked.

"What's it worth to you?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not sleeping with you."

"Don't flatter yourself. Have you looked in the mirror lately?" He made a dismissive gesture with his hand and some gagging noise. "I was talking about money. My work doesn't come cheap. My usual rate is $75 an hour."

I almost choked on my beer. He was going to charge me for his help? Whatever happened to helping a friend in need??

"Of course I'd give you a special rate, since I know you and all. And I'll let you stay on the couch for free." He said when he noticed my surprise.

"How about you tell me what you can do for me and I'll find a way to make it worth your while?" I suggested. I had no intention of paying him, but maybe I could get him a fruit basket when this was over.

"Okay, but remember, I have access. If you try to screw me, I find ways to make your life miserable."

I thought he'd have to get in line for that, but nodded anyway.

When we finished our beers, Randy told me where to find blankets and headed off to bed. I glanced at the wall clock; it was two in the morning.

I got a look at myself in the mirror when I went to the bathroom to do my bedtime routine and my reflection frightened me. Randy had been right. He'd once described my appearance as a new form of birth control. My eyes were bloodshot from all the crying, and had dark circles under them that stood in contrast to the rest of my pale face. My cheeks were hollow, since my body wasn't used to surviving on a few beers and a sandwich a day. My hair had formed a bunch of rat's nests among its curls and was sticking out in places. Under normal circumstances, I would have never left the house like that, but I'd been desperate.

I cleaned up as best as possible, got a blanket out of the closet and tried to make myself comfortable on Randy's couch. My pulse sped up when my cell phone rang, but it wasn't who I wanted to call, it was Ranger. I took a deep breath and answered.

"Hey."

"Where are you?" He sounded so pissed; I was wondering if Hal and Lester were still alive. This was the Ranger that made your mess your pants if you met him in a dark alley. But did he honestly expect an answer to that question? Why would I have run away if I was going to tell him where I was so that he could pick me up? I sighed.

"I'm somewhere safe."

"Babe."

I didn't know if RangeMan's equipment could track a caller's location on their cell phones, so I disconnected and turned my cell phone off. Okay, so I'd mostly disconnected because there was nothing I could say to Ranger that would make him see things my way, but I also didn't want to be found after coming so far.

The couch was too short and too narrow to get really comfortable, so I tossed and turned a while to find a position I could relax in. I could hear Briggs snoring in his bedroom. And I wondered if I'd really done the right thing. I could be sleeping in my own bed, or in one of RangeMan's guest beds, without anything to fear. Instead I'd chosen to take on a psycho all by myself. A guy I knew nothing about, not even his motives. Then I realized I wouldn't be any happier if I were well protected, I'd feel helpless. And I'd spend my time thinking about Joe and probably crying my eyes out. No thanks. I'd had enough self pity to last me a lifetime. At least this way, I was doing _something_.

I turned and hit my hand on the coffee table. I didn't think I was going to get any rest.

At some point though, I must have fallen asleep because I was startled awake by a sudden noise. It was dark all around me and I couldn't quite figure out where I was. Struggling to wake up completely, I rubbed my eyes. "Hello?" I said, feeling quite stupid.

"Go back to sleep, Cupcake, it was just a bad dream."

My breath caught in my throat.

"Joe????" I was close to tears.

"Yeah, I'm here, Cupcake, it's okay."

I felt his strong arms around me and sobbed, falling back against his chest.

"Joe!"


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you so much for your reviews, I am so glad you're sharing your thoughts. I tried my best to write faster so the cliffhanger wasn't out there for too long. Let me know what you think.

Vielen Dank, dear Stayce, for your support and ideas!

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, just the plot. And sadly, there's no money in the plot.

Rating: R for adult language and situations. Then there's the angst and the drama…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 4

"I'll wake you more often in the middle of the night if that's the welcome I'll get" Joe said and hugged me tight. A sob escaped my mouth as I squeezed him with all my strength.

"Uh, Cupcake? I need _some_ air…" Joe said, his mouth close to my ear, his hands on my back. I could feel his smile against my skin.

I loosened my hold on him a little, but did not move otherwise. "I thought you were DEAD!" I wailed.

"It was just a dream." Joe reassured me and trailed kisses down from my ear to my shoulder. I shivered at the sensation and took his face into my hands. I had to look at him, make sure he was really there. He smiled at me and lowered his mouth to mine. Our tongues met and I sunk into his arms completely. When his hands wandered down my back to cup my ass, I moaned into his mouth.

Joe pulled back and studied me for a minute. "You've been crying." He said, his eyebrows almost meeting in a frown.

I nodded, my throat tight. I'd never been happier to see him and I was about to cry tears of joy.

"I thought you were dead." I repeated. Joe traced my cheek bone with his thumb, smiling again.

"And that made you cry?" he asked, winking.

I punched his shoulder lightly and returned his smile.

"I thought I had to take care of Bob all by myself!" I teased, and Joe chuckled. Then he claimed my mouth again and let his hands do the talking. One wandered between my legs and started something magical. The kiss grew hotter, Joe's tongue was exploring my mouth, and I felt warm in all the right places. I placed my hands on his shoulders and let them slide down, loving the feel of his warm skin under my palms.

Joe's hand cupped my left breast and I gasped.

I woke up hugging the couch cushion tight, the sun was streaming in through the blinds.

It had been a dream.

As reality hit, new tears welled up in my eyes and a sense of dread settled on me. It had felt so real! I'd heard his voice, I'd seen his chocolate brown eyes, I'd felt his touch!!! My fingers flew up to my mouth were I could still feel Joe's lips.

I wailed and burrowed my face into the cushion, pounding the couch around it with my fists.

The dream had been the most vivid one I'd ever had, it was all there. And now it made me realize what I had lost once again, everything I would never see or feel again.

I cried until my throat was sore and my eyes were burning. I wanted to fall back asleep and see Joe, at least in my dreams, but I was completely awake now.

It was 7 o'clock, and I realized I didn't have time to sleep anyway. I had to get ready and…I didn't exactly know what I was going to do, but somehow, I had to find the identity of my stalker. If nothing else, the dream had fueled my resolve. I owed it to Joe to find his killer; I couldn't leave that to the cops.

I turned my cell phone back on and got up to make coffee. There was no noise from Randy's bedroom, probably he was sleeping in. I got the coffee started and went to the bathroom. I hadn't had time to pack a change of clothes, so I had to dress in the clothes I'd slept in. If I had stayed at Ranger's, I would now at least have the benefit of his great shower gel and plush towels instead of Briggs' Ivory soap and K-Mart towels. I realized I was about to second guess my decision again and mentally slapped myself. I grimaced and told myself to get over it.

By the time I'd tamed my hair into a pony tail without the help of any products and came out of the bathroom, Randy had found the coffee and was sitting on the couch with a cup, wearing his Spiderman PJ's. He looked quite cute. I joined him after pouring a cup for myself.

"Can you reroute my phone calls from my home phone to my cell phone remotely?" I asked, jumping right in. I had realized that I may miss too many phone calls if I wasn't at home; Asshole had only ever called my land line.

"Jeez, good morning to you, too. Would you give me a minute to wake up here?" Randy asked sarcastically.

Oh great, I thought, he wasn't a morning person. Normally, I'd be right with him, but right now, I didn't have time to let the day start slowly.

"I kinda need it done right away," I said, "I don't want to miss another call from the psycho."

Briggs shook his head and put his cup on the table. He shimmied off the couch and sat down at his desk, starting up his laptop.

He typed in a couple commands, asked me my phone numbers and continued typing. After a few minutes, he came back to the couch. "There, you happy now, toots? Is it okay if I have my coffee now?"

I thanked him and finished my coffee without saying anything else to piss him off, reminding myself that I needed him and couldn't afford to be snippy.

I didn't have to wait long; my cell phone started buzzing minutes later. I checked the readout, since I had no intention of talking to anyone but the stalker.

When I saw the number, I groaned. Not the asshole, but Ranger. Again. Maybe there was a chance he'd calmed down by now? But what did I have to say to him? I'd already told him I was safe. I hadn't changed my mind about not telling him where I was. If I talked to him now, I would make him angrier than he probably already was. My dream had left me too rattled to be reasonable right now. There was a chance I was going to explode if pressure was applied.

I sighed and let the call go to voicemail.

"Was that your secret admirer?" Randy asked. He had gotten up and was now standing on a step ladder in the kitchen, rinsing his cup.

"No, just a friend." I said. "Just out of morbid curiosity, is it theoretically possible to pinpoint my location when I'm on a cell phone?"  
Randy thought about it for a moment, then he nodded. "Yeah, with the right equipment and people who know what they're doing…" his eyes grew wide. "You don't think your stalker's tracking you and is on his way over, do you? Because in that case, you'd have to leave."

I could feel the love. "No, this is a different guy and he wants to find me to get me away from stalker guy." I explained. It didn't sound all that sane when I said it out loud.

Randy looked like he needed more of an explanation, but what could I tell him? If I explained my reasons for being here, I was likely to convince myself my plan would never work and I should be running back to Ranger, begging for his help. So not gonna happen.

I shrugged. "It's complicated. So how long do you think it takes to track someone's location?" I figured a change of topic was in order. For some reason, I thought it took two minutes to trace a call. That's what they always said on TV. I was hoping it was true, I was going to stick to it.

Randy shrugged. "I guess I can find out. I never had much use for that kind of information. I'm more interested in tracking IP addresses."

I didn't know what that meant and I didn't care. I needed some time by myself, to figure out my next steps. Staying with Briggs had sounded like a good idea the night before, but now I wasn't so sure. It wouldn't take Ranger long to find me here. He would be asking Lula, and Lula would finally come up with Briggs. If not this morning, then maybe this afternoon.

I felt silly for hiding from Ranger. If I thought there was even the smallest possibility that he would listen to me I'd call him right now and ask him to pick me up. But there wasn't. He would take me to RangeMan and expect me to hide until he'd taken care of the danger. It was how he worked. His goal was to keep me safe and alive, and he wouldn't listen to my opinion on the matter. I wanted me to be safe and alive, too, but I wanted to be the one to get me there, I didn't want to hide and wait for Ranger to take care of everything. I owed it to Joe! That thought kept repeating itself in my head, giving me the necessary strength to go on.

I grabbed my cell phone and got up.

"Thank you for your help, I think I better leave now." I said. Briggs looked a little surprised and shook his head. "You sure change your mind fast." But he didn't try to make me stay. Probably he was glad I was leaving. I didn't tell him, but I was grateful that for once there was no argument.

Since he didn't have any clothes that would possibly fit me, I didn't have a coat on when I stepped out of the foyer. I stood in front of Randy's apartment building in the frosty morning air and tried to come up with a place to go.

Hitching my shoulder bag up higher, I decided I needed a car first. Everybody I know knows to hotwire a car, except for me. I'd have to get one the legal way. I wondered if I could risk going back to my place, maybe Ranger wouldn't expect that. I had my car sitting in the parking lot. But then I remembered I didn't have my keys with me, so I'd have to go back into my apartment. I was pretty sure one or more Merry Men would be somewhere in or around my building. A quick drive-away may have been possible, but any more would be tempting fate. I sighed. That plan was out.

I walked up Sylvan Avenue to get to Watson, where I hoped to get a cab. I didn't feel comfortable out on the street, Ranger's men could be anywhere. I tried to tell myself I was just paranoid, but that didn't calm me down.

Once I got a cab, I could decide where to go. My hope was that I'd think of a place to go by then.

I had to walk all the way to Olden before a cab would stop. I yanked the door open and got into the back with a heavy sigh. The driver met my eyes in the rearview mirror, looking at me questioningly, waiting for me to tell him my destination.

I didn't have one, so I told him to take me to the bus depot. That would bring me to downtown at least. Maybe I'd go to New York, I figured.

Ranger could be looking all over Trenton for me, I'd have to put some distance between us.

I was rubbing my hands to get some warmth back into them when my cell phone rang. I checked the readout and my heart skipped a beat. It said: forwarded call, caller unknown. It could be him.

I took a deep breath and made myself wait for the third ring before I picked up.

"You're hiding." It was him! My mind went blank. "Trying to make me play hide 'n' seek?" he asked. I was still trying to come up with a response, any response.

"How do you know?" I finally asked.

"I know everything about you." This made me shiver. Not just what he said, but the creepy voice he said it in. Had I been a man, my gonads would have been creeping north.

I remembered I was trying to lure him out, so I swallowed hard.

"Everything? You must really like me." Ugh. That was about the hardest thing I ever had to say. I must have taken him by surprise because there was a moment of silence. Had I overdone it? Was I being too obvious?

"I know the man in your life wasn't good enough for you. I know the man who is trying to be in your life isn't good enough for you."

I had to bite into my lip to stifle a sob at the mention of Joe. What I really wanted to do was cuss this asshole out, but instead, I forced my voice to be calm when I said "And you think you're good enough for me?"

I was hoping that had come out the right way. Not as if I doubted him, not as if I believed him. Neutral. Curious. Even though I was neither.

"You bet I am. No long now, Angel, and you will find out." And he disconnected. I felt bile rise in my throat and my hands were ice cold. I wanted to throw my phone away or at least bathe it in Clorox. And I wanted to tell the cab driver I'd changed my mind, to take me straight to Haywood where I could hide at RangeMan. I took some deep breaths and willed myself to calm down, since the driver was already giving me curious looks in the rearview mirror.

The taxi dropped me off at the bus depot and I was standing around like a runaway teenager with nowhere to go, chewing my lower lip and freezing my ass off. I decided to think it over where it was warmer and took off for the coffee shop.

The Trenton bus depot is really just a glorified name for a big bus stop. A couple berths and a ticket booth, an adjacent coffee shop that doubled as a waiting room. Trenton's door to the world.

A few minutes later I was warming my hands on the Styrofoam coffee cup and thought over my options. The latest phone call had me pretty freaked, although I was trying hard not to show it, even to myself.

I went down the list of my family members, then I went down my list of friends. I still felt ridiculous to be hiding from Ranger, to be attempting to outsmart the best there is. Since ridicule felt too much like self pity, I was able to stash the emotion away pretty fast. But I still hadn't come up with a place to go.

I thought about Connie and her mob affiliations. I'd bet she knew people who could ship me off to China without anyone knowing. But I didn't know if I could trust Connie under the kind of pressure Ranger could apply. All Ranger would have to do is look at her in a certain way and Connie would melt, she's had a crush on Ranger since I met her. I was chewing my fingernails now, still none the wiser.

I was sure Lula knew plenty of people in the underbelly of Trenton, but she was seeing Tank, Ranger's right-hand man. It didn't seem fair to make her choose between her loyalty to me and a relationship with Tank.

My best friend, Mary Lou, probably had a RangeMan SUV parked outside her house, just like my family. Joe's cousin Mooch probably had connections as well, but nothing could make me approach a member of the Morelli family.

I thunked my head on the yellow Formica table to get my brain to work.

The easiest way to get a car was Dougie 'the dealer' Kruper. It was also the only way I knew how to get a cheap car. Unless…I dug into my shoulder bag. No checkbook. Damn. I couldn't get even the cheapest car at a regular, legal, dealership without a check. I really needed a car. I hadn't used public transportation since I was riding school buses. But I realized I couldn't risk taking a cab to Dougie's.

I looked out the window of the coffee shop at the waiting buses. One was going to New York City. That still sounded like a good idea, but what would I do there? I didn't have any close friends in New York, and it wasn't any safer than Trenton. I sighed and regretted leaving Randy's house so quickly.

Another bus arrived and I watched as the passengers got off. A woman about my age got off the bus and rushed into the arms of a waiting man. He was as tall as Joe and had dark hair. That was enough to make tears well up in my eyes again. I looked at the couple and realized what I would never have again.

I was debating if I could risk showing up at Dougie's after all, when my eyes wandered over a poster on the wall. It was advertising gyros, 'the Greek treat', and showed a Mediterranean-looking man eating a gyros sandwich in front of a Greek ruin. It gave me an idea. A long time ago, someone had told me how nice Greece was. It was a long shot, but what the hell. It couldn't hurt to ask.

I flipped open my phone to call Connie at the office. Then I snapped it close again because I was still paranoid about RangeMan's tracking abilities and went over to the payphone by the restrooms instead.

"Connie, it's me." I said quickly when the phone was answered.

"Where are you? Is everything okay?" She asked. Shit, she knew.

"I'm fine, I just need a favor. Can you look up a number for me?"  
There was a pause on the other end. Connie never paused when I asked her for a number or address. I heard some rustling and then a voice I didn't want to hear.

"Babe." Ranger said. Shit, shit! I hung up the phone with a bang. Then I wondered what the hell I was doing, why I hadn't at least listened to what Ranger had to say. Now I got the strange feeling in my stomach, like my spidey-sense was going into overdrive. I scanned the coffee shop, but couldn't spot anyone who was even looking at me. Maybe my paranoia was taking over, I figured.

I took my seat again, gnawing on my lip, when my cell phone rang. Three guesses who it is, I thought on a sigh, but decided to quit the children's games and picked up.

"Yo."

"Don't hang up." Ranger said. I wasn't going to. Yeesh. "Where are you?" I sighed.

"Still in Trenton." Although I was eyeing the bus to New York again.

"You've made your point. Let's talk." Ranger said.

Well, that exactly was the problem, I had nothing to say. I could tell Ranger what I had in mind, but he would be against it. And he may be able to convince me otherwise, and Joe's killer would go free.

"What is there to say?" I asked, realizing too late that I had said it out loud.

"What are you running from?" Ranger's tone was softer now, and I could imagine his eyes on me as he said it. 'You' I wanted to say, but that wasn't true.

"You want to lock me up!" I blurted out, knowing fully well that I was oversimplifying.

"Babe." Ranger said. He wasn't exactly denying it.

I focused my eyes on the big clock above the door, still hanging on to the two-minute notion I had in my head, just in case. Then again…"Are you tracing this call?"

Ranger didn't respond. I took that as a yes.

"If I asked you to stop looking for me, would you do it?"

"No." His bluntness surprised me; I'd expected him to convince me I needed to be found.

"Please, Ranger?" I could already feel tears well up in my eyes again and I was unable to keep it out of my voice.

"Let me help you, Babe." He said and his voice was barely above a whisper. I put my forehead on the table and closed my eyes.

"I need to do this alone." I pressed out. Then I disconnected. This made it the third time I'd hung up on Ranger. What I'd said wasn't even true, I wanted nothing more than to accept his help, I hated being alone in this. But I wanted to work _with_ him, I didn't want him to swoop in and take over. I let out a frustrated sigh, my head still on the table.

Suddenly, I could name the tingly feeling I'd gotten earlier. It felt like someone was watching me. I had to get out of here.

Connie was out; since I was sure Ranger had given her instructions to call him right away if she heard from me. I was trying to come up with another friend who might have connections, mentally going through everyone I knew again. Vinnie! I frowned. Vinnie didn't have…oh, wait a minute, Vinnie was married to Lucille, and Lucille was Harry the Hammer's daughter. In Trenton, you couldn't get much closer to the Family than Harry. Harry was once rumored to be the Godfather of Trenton. He would have to have some sort of hideaway, I figured. I hadn't talked to Lucille since the last family reunion a couple years ago, but it wasn't like I had many other options. Even if I'd talked to her yesterday, there wasn't a subtle way to ask if her father could help me.

I was pretty sure Vinnie would be at the office by now, so I dialed his home number.

Lucille answered on the third ring and I took a deep breath for courage.

"Hi Lucille, it's Stephanie."

"Oh Stephanie," she said, her voice already in the tone I've gotten to know quite well in the past days, "I'm sooo sorry. Is there anything I can do for you? Are you calling for Vinnie? He's at the office."

I had to smile; Lucille was a nervous talker, just like I was.

"No, I was calling to talk to you…um…actually to your dad. Do you know how I can get in touch with him?" I held my breath waiting for her answer. Lucille didn't respond right away, probably wondering if she'd heard me right.

Not only had I never called Vinnie's house to speak to her, I'd never even talked to her dad at all. I was trying to use my own family connections for all they were worth.

"Um…sure…he should be home…" and she gave me his number. I could hear the question mark in her voice the whole time, but I didn't explain myself. Let her wonder about my sanity, I figured.

I disconnected after assuring her I'd give my mom Lucille's best. That had gone sort of well. Of course now I still had the hardest part ahead of me, but I felt like I was going somewhere with this.

I was reminding myself not to call him Harry the Hammer; I didn't know if that was a name he liked to be called to his face. I didn't know what to call him, now I couldn't even remember his last name. I took a sip of coffee and wished it was something stronger, and then I punched in his number. I was afraid I'd lose my courage if I waited too long. Of course there was a chance I'd come up with a better idea, but I doubted it.

The line was answered without a greeting, and I wasn't really surprised.

"Harry?"

"Who wants to know?" There's something comforting about old school mobsters, I thought. They talk like the Sopranos.

"This is Stephanie Plum, Lucille's cousin, well technically…"  
"I know who you are." He cut me off. I swallowed. Okay then.

"I need your help…" I'd wanted to make some small talk first, but I didn't know what to say. So I just spit it out.

"I see." He said. Now for the hard part, I thought. How do you ask a stranger for help, based on his reputation?

"I need to…get away from it all for a while. Gather my thoughts. Trouble is, I don't have much money. I was wondering if…if…if you maybe have a place you're not using right now…" Boy, when I said it out loud, it sounded really dumb. It'd almost be better if I'd asked him for money.

"You need a place to stay? You in some kind of trouble?"

"No…Yes…I mean, I'm not in trouble, but I need a place to stay and I realize this is kinda…" what exactly was it? Unexpected? Surprising?

"What kind of trouble? You need me to talk to someone?" He asked when I'd almost decided he was going to hang up and ask his daughter what king of crazy relatives she had.

I had an idea what he meant by 'talking', he was famous in the Burg. Growing up, I heard stories about what happened when Harry talked to someone. They had a strange way of disappearing for a long time. Like forever.

"No, um, nothing like that, it's just that…I need to lay low for a while." I thought I'd sounded like an extra from a mafia movie, but Harry was satisfied.

"How about Atlantic City?" He asked without hesitation.

"Yes," I said, "Atlantic City would be nice." I couldn't think of anything better to say.

"They keep a suite for me at the Taj Mahal. Tell them I sent you, tell them you're there to keep the bed sheets warm for me." I sucked in some air. "Don't worry, nothing personal, but that's what you have to say if you want to get the key."

I could sense his smile on the other end. I had a hard time not gagging, but I was telling myself he wasn't going to be there and it was not like he was an uncle or something.

"Okay…" I said slowly. All in all, this was going better than expected. I guess random people calling him asking for help wasn't all that unusual for Harry.

"You can stay as long as you want, but you'll owe me." Harry said. Ugh. Was I about to sell my soul or something? My palms were sweaty. If he was gonna ask for sexual favors I was gonna tell him to forget the whole thing. What if he'd want me to whack someone for him? How deep would I be indebted to him?

"I might just call you for a favor some day. You may not want to refuse that favor."

Oh, someday I could handle, I thought. Probably it was in the mob handbook to say something like that anyway. "Of course not. I really appreciate your help. Thank you." I said and we disconnected.

I was pretty sure he wouldn't share our conversation with anyone, but I hadn't dared to ask him to keep it quiet. I'd just have to trust him.

It felt good to have a destination. And I liked Atlantic City. I wouldn't have any money to gamble, but I'd have a place to stay and think. And with any luck, I'd be a step ahead of Ranger.

I finished my coffee and checked the schedule. A bus was to leave for Atlantic City in an hour. I bought a one-way ticket, forcing myself not to look over my shoulder for Ranger or the Merry Men. I couldn't shake the feeling I was being watched, but I figured Ranger would have come forward by now.

The bus pulled in ten minutes before it was scheduled to leave and I boarded right away. I glanced around to make sure nobody I knew was around the depot or on the bus. Since most people I knew owned their own cars, chances were slim. But I still felt better when I didn't recognize anyone.

I'd bought a magazine and was now hiding behind my Cosmo. It wasn't going to last me the whole two and a half hours, but 'How men express their feelings in bed' would keep my mind distracted for at least a while. I didn't want time to think.

We hadn't even left Trenton when the steady hum of the engine lulled me to sleep. I woke up when the bus stopped at the Atlantic City station and it took me a moment to remember where I was. Thankfully, my nap had been dreamless, so I didn't repeat the morning's performance. I didn't want anyone to remember me. There weren't many people on the bus, and a woman without a coat crying in her sleep may have been too memorable.

I shouldered my bag and stepped out onto Atlantic Avenue. It was a mile to the hotel, and under normal circumstances I wouldn't have hesitated to call a cab, but for some reason, I wanted to walk. I love Atlantic City, and even though it was November and barely noon, there were a lot of people around. I wanted to stretch my legs after the long bus ride. What I expected was some distraction by watching other people. What I wasn't prepared for was remembering Joe at every corner. The last time I'd been to Atlantic City, it was with Joe. I bit my lip to prevent a sob that was rising in my chest and sped up. The sooner I got to the hotel, the better.

Breathing got a little easier when I got to the boardwalk and I could focus on the ocean.

I finally walked past the familiar fountains in front of the Taj Mahal. They didn't look all that spectacular during the day. I entered the casino in search of the hotel lobby. I'd never stayed in any of the big hotels on the boardwalk, so it took me some time to navigate.

I managed to ask for Harry's room as if it was the most normal thing in the world, although my heart was beating double-time when I relayed the message about keeping his bed warm.

The front desk clerk just nodded and handed me a key. "Suite number 50110 on the 50th floor." He said as if he'd been expecting me. Maybe Harry had called ahead to announce me. I bit my tongue to bite back the urge to tell the clerk I was not Harry's piece, no matter what the situation looked like. I was here for a reason, I told myself, who cared what the front desk thought?

It took a while to get to the room, through the casino floor and up the tower, but it was worth the effort: the room was a Grand Suite and was bigger than my apartment. The floor-to-ceiling windows looked out on the ocean under a grey sky.

I felt grungy and realized I needed clean clothes before I could take a shower, and I didn't want to leave the room after I'd just gotten there. It would have to wait.

I dropped my bag and let myself fall onto the bed spread eagle. For the first time since I left my own apartment, I felt safe. I didn't know how much time I'd bought, but the quiet felt good around me for the time being.

I was lying in my thinking position, staring at the taupe ceiling covered with beige stars when a knock on the door startled me up. No one knew I was here. I didn't have any luggage to bring up, and I hadn't called room service. And I still didn't have a gun. Probably I had forgotten to lock the door; I couldn't see if the deadbolt was thrown from the bed, the place was too big.

There was a second knock and I decided to at least check out who it was.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you so much for your kind reviews, keep them coming! I appreciate all feedback and suggestions.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, just the plot. And sadly, there's no money in the plot.

Rating: R for adult language and situations. Then there's the angst and the drama…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 5

I crept up to the door as quietly as possible and peeked through the spy hole. A man dressed in a white waiter's uniform looked back at me. He looked the part and was young enough to be a waiter.

"Room service." He said as he knocked again, and I shrunk back.

"I didn't order anything." I said, clicking the dead bolt shut.

"Standard welcome order for Suite 50110." He said. I asked him to wait a minute and went back into the room to find the phone. I dialed the front desk. They confirmed they'd sent someone up. I felt pretty smart for checking and pretty dumb for being paranoid as I opened the door and let the waiter in.

He passed me, pushing a serving cart. It held several covered dishes, some bottles of water and a wine cooler with an open bottle of champagne.

"Enjoy." He said and left, not even waiting for a tip.

Wow, I thought, Harry was living in style.

I pushed the cart over to the dining area that was located off the living room. For the first time since I'd arrived, I took in my surroundings. I'd noticed how big the suite was, but I hadn't noticed the details. The bedroom could be closed off with sliding doors that disappeared into the walls when opened so I hadn't even seen them before. The dining area was in an alcove off the living room. Through an arch, I could see a desk and an executive chair in an office. The walls were covered with gold textile wall paper and the theme continued with the gold fabric of the couches and dining chairs. The entire floor was covered in a tick plush carpet in a light brown color.

I'd never stayed anywhere near this luxurious ever before, everything just felt posh.

I took the covers off the plates, and my stomach rumbled in response. For the first time in days, I was hungry. There were fresh strawberries, cheese and crackers, caviar, finger sandwiches and cantaloupe wrapped in prosciutto. And mousse au chocolat. A small army could have been fed with the amount.

I filled a plate with a little bit of everything and grabbed a bottle of water before I sat down.

I was finishing a second helping when I got an idea. If food could be delivered without paying for it, how about the rest of the hotel's services? Could I go shopping in the boutiques? Could I get loaded at the bar? I was going on a mental shopping spree when I remembered what Harry'd said. I'd owe him for this. But I did need clothes and I didn't have much cash on me.

When I'd worked at RangeMan I'd been responsible for personal records. Anything and everything about a person. That included credit cards and bank accounts. As soon as I'd use my ATM, Ranger would be notified, and he'd know where to find me. Owing a mob boss a huge favor seemed like the lesser evil, I decided, and picked up the hotel directory.

A half hour later, I'd finished the mousse and grabbed my pocketbook. I took the elevator downstairs and headed straight to Marshall Rousso's. Since I needed everything, I started with underwear, then worked my way over to nightgowns. The store was too high end to sell jeans and t-shirts, so I picked a black cocktail dress, some brown slacks and two blouses off the rack and headed for the dressing room. The clerk eyed me the whole time, probably thinking I was going to stuff some items into my pants. I couldn't blame her, I looked a mess with my hair wild and my clothes grungy.

Shopping didn't turn out to be as much fun as I'd imagined, my heart wasn't in it. The only thing I wanted was sweats to lounge in. I picked out a pair of high-heeled pumps and a pair of brown loafers and went to the register. The amount the sales clerk told me made me light-headed, and I tried to keep a cool expression when I told her to charge it to the room. She relaxed visibly when she typed in the room number and even put a smile on her face as she offered to have my purchases sent up via bellhop and I agreed. On my way back, I picked up a couple t-shirts and a pair of sweat pants, hair and body essentials at the gift shop and went back upstairs. The one time in my life I could spend all I wanted, and I couldn't get excited about it. It just figured. When I didn't think about Joe, I had the stalker on my mind. I'd been constantly looking over my shoulder, afraid someone might recognize me.

By the time I reached the suite, everything had been brought up and was waiting for me in the living room.

It was only the middle of the afternoon, but I was exhausted. I felt like I deserved a break, so I grabbed some of my new purchases and headed for the bathroom. Bath parlor was a better word for it, the floor and walls were grey marble, the fixtures were gold-plated. A pile of plush white towels sat on the counter between two sinks and a fluffy robe hung on the door. A Jacuzzi filled up the right corner, overlooking the ocean. Since I was on the 50th floor, there was no danger of being watched while bathing. A shower stall sat in the left corner and the toilet was through another door. A huge basket with complimentary toiletries hid behind the stack of towels. It held everything I could ever need in the bathroom.

I opened the faucets to let water into the Jacuzzi and added the amenity bath salts before I adjusted the jets. While the water was filling up, I went back into the main room and grabbed the champagne and a glass. This was going to be total relaxation, I decided. My cell phone would stay behind.

I soaked for an hour. When I felt all clean, completely mellow, and the bottle was empty, I wrapped myself in the robe and went back to the bedroom. I slipped under the soft and fluffy covers and made myself comfortable.

The room wasn't quite spinning, but it was about to. I couldn't remember the last time I'd drunk a whole bottle of champagne. I was lucky if I wasn't going to be sick.

Just when I was about to fall asleep, my cell phone rang. I debated whether I should let it go to voicemail, but in case it was the killer, I needed to talk to him. I wasn't sure how long I could go undetected, so I needed to move things along quickly.

By the time I had untangled myself from the sheets and was able to grab the phone, I didn't have time to look at the readout, so I just answered it. If it was my mom, I would fake static; I didn't feel up to talking to her.

"Hello, Angel." The creep's voice greeted me. I felt like the temperature in the room had dropped twenty degrees and my stomach rolled. I focused my eyes on the ocean and sat down at the desk.

"Hello…what is your name?" What the hell, I thought, might as well try.

"You don't know? Oh Angel, you disappoint me."

He was so creepy. And how would I know his name if I didn't even recognize his voice? He must have known I didn't know who he was, that's what he was playing on.

"I don't think you told me." I said, trying very hard to keep my voice calm. My heart had started racing the moment I'd heard his voice.

"In that case, my angel, I'd much rather tell you in person. It will be so magical when you become mine."

Shivers ran up and down my spine as I listened to the lunatic's voice. Angel.

Joe'd always called me Cupcake. Ranger called me Babe. I called my nieces Angel and I realized I would never again. This creep had forever tainted the endearment for me. Who the fuck was this guy? I still didn't know if he'd done what he claimed, but as I listened to the madness in his voice, it was a definite possibility.

Another thing I realized was that I was in over my head. As much as I had wanted this, now that I was sitting all alone in the room with only his voice in my ear, I was terrified.

I needed to end this! I gathered up all my strength and although my hands were shaking, I willed my voice to remain calm.

"Then when am I gonna meet you?" It was the alcohol talking, I decided. The only reason I wasn't screaming at him was because I was drunk.

"Do you think you're ready, Angel?"

As ready as I'd ever be to meet Joe's killer or someone who pretended to be, I figured. Of course I wasn't ready! There was no telling what I'd do if I came face to face with him.

"Do you think I'm ready?" I asked. My mouth pretty much had a mind of its own now. I was baiting him. Probably the worst thing I could do, but I was desperate. I thought I could sense hesitation on the other end, as if I'd surprised him with my ballsy question.

"Yes," He finally said, "I think you are. We shall meet, my angel." And he disconnected.

I sat with the phone in my hand for the longest time, unable to move. I tried to name my emotions, but there were too many. Fear was right at the top, followed by panic maybe.

And I decided I just couldn't do it on my own. Now that it seemed I was going to get exactly what I'd wanted, it scared the shit out of me.

I took a deep breath and dialed Ranger. He would understand, I reasoned. He'd help me.

I groaned in frustration when I got Ranger's voicemail. The _one_ time I called him!

My message was simple. "Call me." I said and hung up.

There, I thought. He'd call me back, I'd ask him to help me lure out the killer and all would be well. Ranger would be willing to work with me now that he'd seen what I can accomplish! I just hoped he'd call back soon before I lost the courage to ask him for help.

I changed out of the robe into a t-shirt and sweats and turned on the TV. I needed a distraction, my mind was racing. And when I closed my eyes, I felt like the world was spinning.

My cell phone was next to me on the couch, and I had no doubt I'd jump if it rang.

I zapped around the channels until I settled on ESPN. Joe and I had watched hours of ESPN and to me, the channel would forever be associated with him. Sadness settled over me as I imagined him sitting next to me, his long legs stretched under the coffee table, Bob by his side.

I remember watching the news and then I must have passed out, because I was startled awake when my cell phone vibrated. I turned off the TV and looked at the phone's readout.

It was my mom and I quickly switched it over to voicemail. I didn't know how I'd react if I talked to her. I was sure she was worried by now, since she hadn't heard from me in over a day. I'd explain it all later, I decided.

I sat up and immediately got dizzy. My stomach rolled and for a moment, I thought I'd be sick. Drinking all that champagne had felt like a good idea in the bath, now I regretted it. I got up and called room service for a pot of coffee, and then I finished off what was left on the food cart. I needed to sober up, and fast, since I had no idea how much time I'd have to get ready.

When the phone rang ten minutes later, I already felt better. I was still nervous as hell when I saw it was Ranger. I had a proposal for him and I was hoping I'd deliver it right.

"Hey." I said.

"You okay?" Ranger asked. Apparently, he had rethought his strategy, too. He sounded concerned, not mad. I was glad I'd changed my mind.

"I'm okay. Only I need help."

"No kiddin'." Ranger said and I could sense his smile over the phone. I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see it.

"But I'm not going into hiding."

"Babe."

I took a deep breath and tucked my legs under me as I sat down on the couch.

"He's going to contact me to meet." I said. Ranger was silent. Probably doing his version of counting to ten.

"I want to meet him. I'll need backup."

"Bad idea, Babe." Ranger said calmly. I'd expected as much, so I did some mental knuckle cracking.

"I need to do this," I said, "You will never find him unless I lure him out." This was the truth, and Ranger knew it.

"How do you want to do this?" Ranger asked. I smiled. No matter what his decision would be, he'd hear me out first. He was always willing to give me a chance. I'd have to make the best of it; I couldn't do this on my own. But if I told him that, he'd do his rescue thing and would make sure I wouldn't come near harm's way.

"The last time he called, he agreed to meet me. Next time, I will tell him when and where."

"You didn't keep him on the phone long enough for us to track him." Ranger said. I wasn't surprised they still traced my phone calls.

"I couldn't. He decides when the conversation is over." Probably he knew I was trying to find him. He may be mad, but he was also smart.

"What if he tells you where to meet him?"

"Either way. I will go meet him and you will be in the wind." I made myself wait for his answer; probably he needed time to think about it.

"Where are you?"

"I'll be back in Trenton tomorrow," I said, avoiding the question. "It needs to look as if I'm still on my own."

The stalker seemed to know my every move while I was in Trenton. I needed him to believe I was alone and vulnerable. Of course, right now I was both. I tried not to think about that as I took a deep breath.

"Are you gonna help me?" I asked. I knew it was an unfair question because there was really only one answer Ranger could give truthfully.

"You will wear a wire and a GPS locator?"

"Yes."

I thought I could hear Ranger sigh, but it may have been static. "Okay." He finally said.

"I'll call you when I get back." I said and disconnected. I knew that Ranger would take the chance to get to me first if he'd be able to track my location. Probably he hadn't given up on the idea to get me into a safe house. I also wondered why it had taken him so long to call me back, that was unlike him. Not that it really mattered any more.

"There." I said to the empty room. It felt strange to be talking to myself. I missed Bob, and I missed Rex. The suite felt too empty without their companionship.

Now all I could do was wait. Nothing would happen until the killer called again.

I contemplated getting dressed and going downstairs, but then I remembered how little I'd enjoyed shopping. I really didn't feel like mingling. It was almost 7 PM, so I decided to just make it an early night. I was already cleaned up; I only had to change into my new red lacey nightgown. It wasn't as comfortable as my flannel PJ's, but Marshall's didn't sell comfortable when it came to nightgowns.

I turned off all the lights and snuggled under the covers. I left the curtains open so I could watch the ocean in the moonlight. I didn't set the alarm since I figured I'd be up early anyway. I'd been riding on an adrenaline high ever since the first call, now it was subsiding and I felt the alcohol resurfacing, making it easy to fall asleep for a change.

It was still dark outside when I woke up. The alarm clock told me it was three AM. That's what I got for going to bed at seven, I realized. My tongue was stuck to the roof of my mouth and my stomach felt squishy. I had the beginnings of a headache. I tried to just turn around and fall back asleep, but it didn't work. I gave up after thrashing around for a half hour.

I threw back the covers and stretched. My head felt like tiny little men with hammers were going to work in it and I was terribly thirsty.

There was water on the food cart, but I knew that wasn't what I needed. I needed the cure, McDonald's fries and Coke, or else I'd be miserable all day. And this was not a day I could afford to be miserable.

I was hoping the McDonald's on the boardwalk was open 24 hours as I turned on the bedside lamp and got dressed. My t-shirt and windbreaker were advertising the Taj Mahal, but I didn't care. I didn't feel like dressing up.

The 50th floor was deserted, and the elevator was empty, but when I got downstairs, nightlife at the casino was still in full swing. People were gambling, laughing and screaming, drinking and kissing. I felt completely out of place, since everyone seemed to be having a good time.

I hurried though the casino and the hotel lobby and made my way to the boardwalk.

The cool night air felt good, and there were less people out here. The street vendors had long left and the stores were closed.

I dug my hands in the windbreaker's pockets and walked the two blocks to the golden arches. They were open 24 hours, thank God! They probably got all kinds of orders; the girl behind the counter didn't bat an eye when I placed mine. When I had my fries and Coke in hand, I sat down at a corner table. Halfway through the fries, my head felt better. Once I'd finished the coke, my stomach settled down.

Now I felt better, but it was still technically the middle of the night. I walked back the way I'd come, but this time, I stopped in the casino. I suddenly didn't feel like going back to my empty room. The tables and slot machines didn't interest me, I wasn't much of a gambler, but I wandered over to a bar off to the side. It was in a fairly quiet part of the casino, and not many people were sitting and drinking at this hour. The bar was decorated in black and red, with intimate little oil lamps on each of the tables. Maybe if I did the hair of the dog thing, I'd be able to fall back asleep.

My hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail and I wasn't wearing any makeup. I'd never be caught dead even leaving the house like this in Trenton, yet I didn't care.

The bartender sauntered over to me and gave me a smile. Probably he smiled at all single girls in the place, since I really wasn't anything to look at.

"What'll it be?" He asked. I put him in his late thirties, about my height. He had brown hair and friendly blue eyes. He looked like the kind of guy a lot of customers confided in. His name tag identified him as Bill. I was about to give him my order when we were interrupted.

"The lady looks like she'd enjoy a Cosmopolitan." A man with a New York accent said behind me and I turned around curious.

A tall lanky guy stood behind me, winking. He looked about 40, with sandy blond hair and brown eyes. Good looking in a guy next door kind of way, except he was taller than average, maybe 6'4". I tried to match his voice with the stalker's but they weren't even remotely similar.

I hesitated for a moment, and he must have taken that as an invitation because he sat down on the stool next to me. Oh great, just what I needed. I did a mental eye roll. The right thing to do was to tell him I wasn't up for company and that he should go to hell.

What I did instead was pick up the drink the bartender put in front of me and toast the stranger.

"Thank you." I said politely and he smiled. I took a sip from the Cosmopolitan and grimaced. Definitely not the right idea. I should have gone with Coke.

"I'm Jeff." He said, holding out his hand. "Stephanie." I replied and shook his hand.

"So, Stephanie, what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this at this hour?" Ugh, gag me with a spoon. Was there an older pick up line? This time I actually rolled my eyes and Jeff laughed.

"I'm sorry, that must have sounded like a line," He said. No kidding. Maybe he was just nervous. Any other time, I may have given him another chance, but I really didn't want to meet anyone. He'd picked the wrong girl, probably because I was the only single one around at this hour.

I smiled and excused myself, telling him I'd be right back. As soon as I rounded the corner, I headed towards the tower and its elevators. What had I been thinking anyway?

I was out of breath when I reached the suite; I'd been running down the hallway from the elevators. Good thing I didn't pay for that drink, I thought.

I set the alarm for seven, stripped and went back to bed, determined to give sleep another try, when my cell phone rang.

It was 4:30 AM. The only reason someone would call me at this hour was an emergency, so I grunted and got up again. My phone was still on the couch and I snagged it up without checking the readout.

"You shouldn't be flirting with other men, Angel." The stalker said when I answered.

My blood ran cold and I had to sit down on the couch so I wouldn't faint from dizziness. He was here!! He was watching me!!

"I wasn't." I said truthfully, my voice a little too shaky to sound neutral.

"And you definitely shouldn't be lying to me, Angel." His voice sounded angry now. I broke out in a cold sweat. This guy was so creepy! He was completely delusional! And I was all by myself, maybe only a door away from this lunatic. Had he been following me down the boardwalk? I'd felt safe and hadn't even checked for anyone suspicious, not that I usually did.

"I'm sorry," I said, talking to him like I would to a child, "I didn't mean to upset you." It was the only thing I could think of; I had no idea how to handle the situation. What would make him not want to attack me?

"Apology accepted." He said after a moment's pause. I couldn't think of a response to that because my mind was already a step ahead. I needed to call Ranger right away, tell him the plan had changed.

"Now get some sleep, Angel, I can tell you're tired. And you want to be rested and pretty for tomorrow."

I was still holding the phone to my ear minutes after I'd heard the disconnect, I was frozen in place. How did I ever think I could do this by myself? All he had to do was talk and I was freaked out!

There was no way I could have gone back to sleep. My heart was beating at about triple its normal speed, I was shaking and sweating and my head had started pounding again.

As much as I wanted to call Ranger right away, I made my self wait for a halfway decent hour. There was really no need both of us should lose a night's sleep. If a crazy guy wanted to snag me in the next thirty minutes, there was noting anybody could do to help. That was my reward for leaving my home turf, I thought smacking myself mentally.

I got some Advil from my purse and set out for the bathroom. On my way, I double-checked the dead bolt on the door and turned on all the lights.

I stood under the hot spray for a long time, trying to calm my nerves. I kept hearing his earlier words 'We shall meet, my angel' and shuddered involuntarily. Next time the guy called, I had to ask him for a meeting, maybe pretend I didn't want to wait any longer. It was what I wanted most and what I wanted least at the same time.

But I couldn't continue with the teasing phone calls, it would drive me insane. As it was, I kept looking over my shoulder even though I was alone in the room, and I had all the lights blazing.

I let my body relax as much as possible until my fingers were all pruney, then I wrapped myself in one of the fluffy bath towels and took my time grooming and lotioning.

The bathroom felt secure with the steam billowing around me and the warmth and softness of the towel. I started fantasizing about what it would be like to live in a bathroom, but then I realized I was trying to come up with things to ponder other than the impending meeting and I ordered myself to stop. Denial and escapism wouldn't help me this time, I needed to stay focused.

By the time I got back to the bedroom, it was 6:30 and the sun was rising. It was a beautiful sight, so I took a time out and watched the display of colors over the water. There was something very calming about it.

I called room service for breakfast and coffee and went into the bathroom to do the hair and make-up thing. Since it was past seven now, I thought it was a perfect time to call Ranger.

It rang so many times that I thought the call was going to go to voicemail when Ranger picked up.

"Did I wake you?" I asked, although I didn't think it was possible for Ranger to sleep past sunrise.

He chuckled as if I'd made a joke. "No, just got out of the shower."

For some reason my mind brought up the image of Ranger clad in a towel low on his hips, his hair tousled from the shower, droplets of water still on his chest. I shook my head to clear it; I was way too eager to accept any distraction.

"There's a slight change of plans…" I started, not quite sure how to tell Ranger of the latest developments. "He sort of knows where I am…"

"You care to explain the sort of part?" Ranger asked, his voice calm. I took a deep breath.

"He's here, Ranger. I went out last night and he called me right after I got back." I figured there was no need to tell Ranger this had been at 4 in the morning.

"Babe, where are you?"

I sighed and sat down on the couch. "Atlantic City. Taj Mahal. Room 50110."

"Nice touch. I'm leaving now. Do you have your gun?"

"You know I don't." I was pretty sure he had discovered it on my kitchen counter after I'd run out on him.

"Are you in your room now?"

"Yes."

"Stay where you are. I'll be there as fast as possible."

"Remember to get dressed first." I said when I thought he'd disconnected. I heard the click a second later, so it was possible he'd heard me. Probably he'd fly here, thinking I'd lost it already.

I put the phone down and sighed.

Probably at some point Ranger would point out that he'd told me so, and he had. But I'd done what I thought was right, even though I had to admit I wasn't in a condition to make sound choices. At any rate, this was not the time to be beating myself up or wallow in self pity.

When I heard the knock on the door I straightened my shoulders and got up. I needed coffee in the worst way.

"Hello, Angel." He said when I opened the door. I'd forgotten to check who it was!

My jaw dropped in the split-second I was staring at him. While on the phone with him, I'd try to imagine what he looked like.

I hadn't even come close. He was about my age, of average build, maybe 5'5" with mousey-brown hair and hazel eyes. Even if I had met him before, I would have forgotten him right away, he had no remarkable features.

When my brain was connected to my body again, I hurled my whole weight against the door, but I was too late, he'd already put his foot in and stopped it.

I panicked and ran for the bathroom.

I locked the door just before he slammed against it. Probably it wouldn't hold him for long, but it had been my only escape.

My phone was still in the living room, but who would I have called anyway? Ranger would get here as soon as he could. I just had to hold out for…a couple hours.

I searched the room for anything weapon like, since there was no phone in the bathroom. The suite wasn't that perfect after all.

But I had hairspray, and I was an expert at wielding a spray can. Then there was the hair dryer, if I could come close enough, I could do some damage with it.

I jumped when crazy guy banged on the door.

"Stephanieeeee? You're not being very nice to me." He banged on the door some more. The way he sing-songed my name reminded me way too much of my first crazy stalker, Ramirez, and I got goose bumps at the memory.

"Angel, open the door." He said, the 'or else' clearly implied. I took a step back, turned around and armed myself with the hairspray. My hand was shaking so hard, I almost dropped it.

He was trying the door knob now.

"Angel? I've waited so long for this. Open the door." He now sounded like a normal guy. Somehow the way he could change his voice made him even creepier.

I couldn't hear him moving around, maybe because my blood was rushing in my ears to loudly. I tried to slow my breathing because I was afraid I'd pass out at any moment.

"Okay, one last time, Stephanie. Open. This. Door."

Shit. I was too panicked to form a coherent thought, much less a plan. I knew that if I'd scream, no one would hear me.

"What do you want from me?" I asked, my voice like a whimper.

"I want to meet you properly, like you asked."

Without a warning, the door burst open. I'd been standing too close and it hit me square in the head. As I was seeing stars, I prayed I wouldn't pass out. I hit the spray can with all I had as the world went black around me.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you so very much for your kind reviews. I appreciate all your thoughts! Please let me know what you think.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

A special thanks to Stayce for brainstorming with me and helping me spell. You da best, chica!

I borrowed the title from Bon Jovi, not from the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, just the plot. And sadly, there's no money in the plot.

Rating: R for adult language and situations. Then there's the angst and the drama…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 6

**W**hen I woke up I immediately knew something was wrong and I tried to struggle through the fog of unconsciousness. My head was throbbing. I slowly opened my eyes, but the blackness remained, it was totally dark.

It took me about a minute to remember what had happened. I had opened to hotel room door without checking the peep hole because I'd expected room service and the creep had forced his way in. Then I'd holed myself up in the bathroom, ironically like I'd imagined it earlier. I didn't know what happened then, but now I was in some black hole. I tried to stretch and realized my hands and feet were tied, rendering me stuck in a fetal position. Breathing was kind of hard because I had something stuck in my mouth. The smell of motor oil and the hum of an engine made let me know that I was most likely in the trunk of a car. I tried to move my hands, but since I was hogtied, they wouldn't move. If I stayed like this any longer, my limbs would cramp up and fall asleep, I was sure.

It didn't take a genius to figure out the stalker had tied me up and kidnapped me. My worst nightmare had come true. I was lucky I'd taken the time to dress after the shower; I could be in my flimsy nightgown, freezing my ass off.

I listened for any sounds of traffic or people, but all I could hear was the engine of the car I was in.

Fighting panic, I made myself take long slow breaths through the nose. I knew that if I hyperventilated now, I'd pass out. Part of me welcomed that possibility, I wanted to sleep through this and flash-forward to the end.

How long had I been unconscious? Someone must have seen us leave; it can't go unnoticed when a guy carries a body around. Then that same someone might have alerted hotel security. Ranger would find them upon his arrival and get all the details to follow me.

But obviously, no one had stopped us yet, we were driving.

From the lack of stops and turns, I figured we were on a highway or country road, definitely outside the city.

I tried to remember the creep's face, tried to match it to anyone I knew. He had such a forgettable, nondescript face that it was possible I'd met him before. But I had no idea who he was.

I remembered the last time I was tied up in a trunk. That time Scrog had kidnapped me, even though I'd been wearing a transmitter and Ranger had all his Merry Men on the watch.

Since Scrog'd needed cash, I'd convinced him to go after an FTA who at some time had stolen a lot of money. Joe had found me, a bomb strapped to my middle. I almost choked on a sob when I remembered the look on his face.

That made me remember why I was doing this. Somehow, I had to get him to tell me what had happened. If he had murdered Joe, I had to kill him. I had no clue how to do either of those things, but at least it was a plan.

The car slowed down and made a turn, maybe taking an exit. I didn't know how much longer the ride would last, but I was preparing for its end.

When the car stopped, I closed my eyes and went immobile. If he believed I was still knocked out, he may be less careful.

I could feel a rocking motion, then a door slammed. Men's voices carried over to me. I didn't know if I should try to make some noise and blow my cover or stay still. What if it was a radio I heard?

The trunk opened before I could make a decision.

"You tied her up like a Christmas turkey!" A man said chuckling.

"Shut the fuck up!" The creep said and pulled on my hands, trying to get me closer to him, I figured.

I hadn't thought about the possibility there could be more than one person. How would I ever overwhelm two, without any weapons? And for all I knew, they could be armed to the teeth. My odds weren't good.

"Doesn't look like she's going anywhere," Number one said, "Let's get it set up and then you can take her in. I need to get back to work."

Creep grunted in response, but let go of my hands. I could hear their footsteps as they walked away, but otherwise there were no sounds but the wind and some birds in the distance.

I opened my eyes when I thought I was alone and craned my neck to see over the trunk's edge.

The first thing I noticed was that I had no idea where I was. The car was parked in a small driveway leading to a narrow street. I could make out a house about half a mile down the street, no other signs of life. This could be Trenton, or any other place in Jersey, but it could just as soon be another state. I couldn't hear or smell the ocean, so I was pretty sure we weren't on the Jersey shore anymore. The sky was overcast, so I couldn't tell what time it was, except that it was still day time.

If I knew how long I'd been unconscious, I could estimate if we were still in Jersey, not that it would make any difference. Unless someone had seen us leave, no one would find me here.

My neck and shoulders hurt from the effort and since I was unable to move the rest of my body, I just fell back again. Where I was panicking earlier, I now had to fight the wave of fear and despair that threatened to crush me.

I heard footsteps approach and closed my eyes. At the very least, I wanted to delay confronting my kidnappers as long as possible. Maybe they'd slip up and talk about where we were or call each other by their names.

"Get her out. I need my car." This was the first guy talking and I was trying to place the voice. It sounded familiar somehow.

I was pulled forward by my wrists and almost screamed in pain.

"You need help? She looks pretty heavy."

"Watch your mouth!" Creep said, "She's perfect!" Oh boy. My stalker was delusional. There are a lot of things I am, perfect isn't one of them.

He hauled me out of the trunk and threw me over his shoulder. I had to bite my cheek so I wouldn't grunt.

"So we're good here?" Number one asked. "Get lost." My stalker said. Clearly they weren't close friends.

I heard a car door slam and an engine start, then gravel flying as Number one took off. I felt the temperature change as I was carried inside the house.

I opened my eyes since he couldn't see my face and could see worn hardwood floor and battered furniture. The house had an unlived-in feel to it. It wasn't dirty, but felt neglected, though I couldn't say why. It somehow matched my kidnapper's creepiness.

I was carried through another door, then he stopped and I closed my eyes as he heaved me off his shoulders onto a soft surface. A mattress, I figured. The room had a musty smell to it.

I felt cold steel against my ankles, then heard a ripping sound as my feet were no longer tied to my hands. Good, I thought, he was untying me. There was hope after all.

I had to fight nausea as I felt his hands slide up over my body and he sat down next to me. He caressed my shoulder, then let his hand glide down to my arm until he held my wrist and cut through the tape. Pretending to be unconscious became harder with every second I could feel his hands on my skin.

"Wake up, my angel." He said softly and I could feel my skin crawl. "It's just you and me now, the way it was meant to be."

I couldn't suppress a groan and his hands stilled on mine.

"Angel? Hang on one second, I'll be right back." I could feel his weight lift off the mattress and then I heard his footsteps. I opened my eyes slowly, taking in my surroundings. I was in a bedroom, on an old-fashioned four poster bed. There were two bedside tables and an oak drawer chest next to an overstuffed chair. The linens, curtains and bedside lamp shade were all in the same pastel pattern, the kind my grandmother used to have in her old house.

A morbid thought crossed my mind and I was hoping I was wrong. Please God, I thought, don't let this be the house of an old couple he killed so he could use it.

I heard him return and quickly closed my eyes again. He sat down next to me again and started rubbing something onto my skin.

"This will hurt a little, my angel, but it's necessary." Before I had time to be scared, he ripped the remaining duct tape of my hands and I would have howled in pain if my mouth had been free. As it was, my lips strained against the tape and added to the pain.

I looked up at him, my eyes watering.

"Don't be afraid, Stephanie, Daddy's gonna take care of you. Here," he said and moved his hand towards my mouth. I tried to flinch back, but he was faster and caught the tape, ripping it off like a band aid. This time, I did howl.

"Shhhh, Angel, it'll only hurt a minute." He said in the same soft voice as he held me down by pressing his hands into my shoulders.

My face was burning, I was sure he'd ripped of a couple layers of skin. My mind was racing, trying to come up with the best strategy.

Should I try and fight him? Should I pretend to be playing along? I couldn't see any weapons on him, but from his grip on me, I could tell he was stronger. And the panic I had to fight against made it hard to think straight.

"You'll feel better in a little bit." He said and released my shoulders to bend down. My eyes widened when he came back up and I realized he was now holding a syringe, but before I could process what I saw, he stuck the needle into my thigh through my pants.

"I promise I'll take care of you." He said, dropping the syringe and studying me. "You're mine now and I'm yours."

His face became blurry and I had a moment to wonder what he had injected me with before I passed out.

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was a pounding headache. Fireworks were exploding behind my closed lids. For a second I was trying to remember what I'd been drinking to cause such a hangover, then it hit me. When I tried to rub my eyes to ease the pain, I realized my hands were cuffed to the bed posts.

I opened my eyes slowly. I was alone in the room. My feet were shackled as well; I was lying spread-eagle and butt-naked on the bed.

I gagged and had to fight back the urge to throw up. He had undressed me! He had seen me naked, and God knew what else he'd done. In this position, I was completely helpless, he could do whatever he wanted whenever he felt like it.

Tiny tendrils of panic curled up in my stomach and I was trying very hard not to cry. Now I remembered what he'd done to me, my thigh was burning. I realized my head could be hurting for a variety of reasons, the last time I'd passed out, he didn't have to drug me, I was hit with the bathroom door.

I tried to move my hands and feet, they would only give a couple inches each. To make matters worse, I had to go to the bathroom.

This wasn't happening, I prayed. This was just a very realistic dream, but none of it was happening. I would wake up in Joe's arms and find out it was the worst nightmare of my life.

If it wasn't for my throbbing head, I could almost have convinced myself.

His voice startled me out of my thoughts.

"You're awake, Angel!" he said cheerfully as he approached the bed.

He had changes his clothes and was now wearing a grey sweatshirt and jeans, looking even more like John Doe than before.

Was he a former FTA? I'd probably taken in dozens of guys, it would make sense that I'd forget one. But it didn't feel right.

"Who are you?" I finally asked when I gave up on remembering.

His eyes widened. "You don't know?" Surprise and shock were written all over his face for a moment, then they were replaced by anger.

"How can you not know!!! I've taken care of you so many times!!!" He screamed. He was standing about five feet away from me and I realized I'd asked the wrong question.

He could kill me a hundred ways in the position I was in, and I'd just made him angry.

I closed my eyes, I certainly didn't want to see what he was going to do to me, and was surprised when he stormed out of the room.

I could hear him yell and slamming furniture around, then glass shattered as he uttered a blood-curling scream.

Dear God, I prayed, please send Ranger a sign, and let him know where I am. I promise I'll be good, I'll go to church every day, just please.

When I was a kid, my mom had often tried to explain to me that prayers didn't work that way. I was hoping she was wrong. What made her the expert on God?

I was still promising God whatever it took when the creep returned.

"I'm sorry about that, Angel," he said, "But you've made me very angry." His voice had returned to normal. This time, he'd managed to control himself. I may not be that lucky again. I'd have to be careful not to make him angry.

"Now apologize to Daddy and we'll forget it happened."

"I'm sorry." I said. Truer words were never spoken.

"That's better. You see, I am sure you know me. Why do you tease me so?"

I didn't know what to say. I was lying naked and bound, at his total mercy. I still had no idea who he was, but that was not the most important thing at the moment. Surviving was.

"I didn't mean to tease you. It's just that…I have a terrible headache and I really need to use the bathroom."

He stood perfectly still as if he was thinking about what I'd just said. Then he let his eyes wander over my body and I shivered involuntarily.

"What would you like me to call you?" I asked when he didn't say anything. It was the only thing I could come up with. His eyes lit up.

"Oh, Stephanie, you can call me whatever you like. Once we're a family, I hope you'll call me Daddy." He was smiling, as if he saw us as a happy family in his mind. I was going to call him Daddy over my dead body, I thought. As to what I'd like to call him, asshole, creep, bastard and lunatic came to mind.

"But I understand if you want to surprise me. Just Teddy is fine for now. All my friends call me Teddy, you know that."

I suspected not many people called him Teddy. Maybe his mom. But this conversation was going well; he seemed a lot more relaxed now. And if I'd had any doubts about his sanity, the fact that he was having a normal conversation with me while I was tied up naked in bed told me he was a couple county lines away from sane.

"Teddy, may I use the bathroom?" I asked, trying to make my voice sound submissive. My spidey sense told me he'd go for that, he liked to be in control.

Teddy looked embarrassed. "But of course! I'm sorry, where are my manners?"

That was a good question, I thought as I bit back a scoff. I thought I deserved an award for my performance here so far. The only thing I wanted was to bite off his head, and here I was, asking him politely if I could go pee!

He pulled keys out of his pocket and grabbed a robe off a chair next to him before he knelt by the foot of the bed to unlock the shackles.

I forced myself not to yank my feet away when he touched them, and it took all my willpower not to kick him.

He unlocked all four shackles, taking his time caressing each limb before setting it down on the mattress.

When he was done, he held the robe out to me. I tried to think of the best way to overpower him, but as soon as I sat up, the room was spinning. Whatever he had given me, it hadn't worn off yet. My escape plan would have to wait.

"Take it easy, Angel, you're still tired from the journey." He said and I almost grimaced. Journey, my ass. I was drugged up and playing my part in his deranged fantasy, I thought, but bit my cheek instead of saying anything.

He draped the robe around me and took my elbow to help me up. I cringed inwardly at his touch and told myself to get over it already. Apparently he was into touching me. If I cringed every time he did it, I was going to give myself an aneurysm.

I turned out I needed his guiding hand, I was very wobbly on my feet. He aided me in such a professional manner that I had to wonder if he'd done this before.

He led me out of the bedroom into the hallway I'd seen earlier. Off to the right was a bathroom, tiled from floor to ceiling in pink. It was small, the width of the bathtub on the far end, with a toilet and a sink on the left.

"Thank you," I said, still playing polite helpless Steph, "You're very good at this." I nodded towards his hand on my elbow.

"Yes." He nodded eagerly, "I love my job. I'd never had a patient slip or fall on my watch."

He smiled as he led me through the door, then he released my arm and closed the door, whispering "Take your time, Beautiful."

He'd finally given me a clue! He'd said 'patients'. That meant he probably worked at a nursing home or hospital of some sort, helping people get around. "Think Stephanie!" I said out loud and smacked my head. The piercing pain I got in response made me regret that immediately. A look in the mirror over the sink told me I had hit the egg size bump on my forehead.

I groaned when I saw the rest of my face in the mirror. I had dark circles under my eyes that looked like they were drawn on with black paint. My mascara was smudged halfway down my cheeks, which stood out in stark white contrast. My hair stuck out in spiky tufts that would have made any punk rocker jealous.

He'd told me to take my time, so I did. After I'd taken care of my urgent needs, I started the shower.

There was a small window over the tub, but not even my niece would have fit through it. Teddy knew what he was doing; he would have left me here alone if he thought there was a way out. I realized it was dark out by now, so I'd spent the entire day with the creep.

There was toilet paper, a piece of soap at the sink and a couple towels on a holder, other than that, the room was bare. I would have preferred shampoo and conditioner, but I was beyond caring as I stood under the shower and washed and scrubbed.

I was pretty sure we were alone in this house. There was an upstairs, but I hadn't heard him going up yet. The bedroom he held me in was downstairs, as was this full bathroom, which confirmed my earlier suspicion this was an elderly person's home.

Somehow, I had to snoop out the rest of the house, maybe find a phone. There had to be a phone. But I'd need Teddy to leave the house. And it wouldn't be any good if he tied me up.

I tried to come up with a plan, but my head was killing me and made it very hard to think.

By the time the hot water ran out, I was still clueless. I dried myself and ran my fingers through my hair to tame it a little, then I put on the robe Teddy'd given me and sat down on the toilet. Let him think I need time to groom, I figured.

I sat with my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands until he knocked on the door.

"Are you ready, Angel? Dinner is on the table."

I groaned. Although I was hungry, the thought of sharing a meal with the creep made my stomach turn.

"Just a minute." I said and got up. I checked my appearance in the mirror; the shower hadn't changed it all that much. Except now I was without makeup.

When I opened the door, I almost bumped into Teddy who was standing inches from the threshold.

"Are you hungry, Cupcake?" He said, a smile playing around his mouth. I almost slapped him for calling me what only Joe had ever called me. This asshole didn't deserve to use any of Joe's words.

"You don't mind if I call you Cupcake, do you?" He asked, obviously noticing my shocked expression. "Or do you prefer Angel?"  
"Angel is much better." I croaked and forced a smile. "It's what you call me, it's unique."

He seemed pleased with that argument and took my elbow again. If he called me Cupcake one more time, he was going to die.

"I've made spaghetti," He said, leading me through the hallway into the kitchen, "I know how much you like Italian. It's another thing we have in common." Apparently, he didn't know as much about me as he thought. I liked any food I didn't have to cook myself.

He pulled out a kitchen chair for me and let go of my arm as I sat down.

The kitchen was small, with old mid-range appliances, but everything was spotlessly clean. Kind of like my mom's kitchen.

Teddy put a plate of spaghetti with meat sauce in front of me and I immediately covered my mouth with my hand at the smell.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled as I pushed back the chair and rushed out of the kitchen back to the bathroom. I didn't actually have to throw up, but I was hoping he'd think I did.

Two minutes after I'd slammed the bathroom door shut and made some gagging noises, he knocked on the door.

"Are you alright, my angel?" I wasn't even in the same universe as alright. I didn't think I'd be alright as long as he lived. I flushed the toilet and told him I'd be right out.

I practiced my best miserable face in the mirror, washed my hands and met Teddy in the hall.

He looked genuinely concerned. I figured that he'd taken his fantasy to the next level. In his mind, I'd become his by my choice and he was now looking out for me.

"Are you alright?" He asked again, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. I was quite proud of myself that I suppressed a flinch this time.

"I'm not feeling so hot…" I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "The last couple days were…"

"I know," he cut me off. "You're as excited as I am. I promised you I'd free you and here you are. Of course you're overwhelmed."

That was a gross understatement. I felt real tears spring to my eyes as I realized what he'd meant.

"I think I'm sick." I pressed out. Actually I knew I was sick, sick of him! But right now, I needed him to believe I was weak and no threat.

Teddy frowned and touched my forehead as if to check for a fever.

"You're cold as ice!" He exclaimed. "Let's get you back to bed, Angel." He took my elbow again and led me back to the bedroom.

"Teddy, can I ask you a favor?"  
"Anything, Angel, you know that. I'd do anything for you!"

"Can you not tie me up again? My wrists still hurt and I may be sick again." I said this in the most pained voice I could manage and I was leaning on his hand as if I could hardly keep myself upright.

He pulled back the covers and let me lie down.

"I'll bring a bucket. I don't want you sleepwalking in this strange house, Angel, you might hurt yourself."

I mentally rolled my eyes. So much for plan A.

He pulled my right wrist up and clicked the handcuffs around it. "This will do." He said as he pushed my hair off my forehead and planted a kiss on it. I swore that if I ever got out, I was going to bathe in Clorox.

"Sleep now, Angel." He said and left.

I sighed. Apparently, it would take more to make him trust me. We both knew I wasn't about to sleepwalk. But playing along so far had been exhausting, I didn't know how much longer I could hold back.

When he appeared minutes later, I had my eyes closed pretending to sleep. I heard the clunk of him putting the bucket down and then he left.

The asshole hadn't even given me a painkiller for my headache, probably I was going to lie awake all night.

On the bright side, he wasn't lying next to me. The thought of his body next to mine made me shiver.

I'd hoped to get a chance to send him out for some Advil, but since he tied me up even when he was in the house, that wouldn't have done me much good.

I tried to remember what Joe's told me about insane criminals, how the FBI dealt with them. Unfortunately, the memory of his words came with the image of his face as he said them and I choked back a sob. Sadness settled over me and I suddenly couldn't come up with a reason to stay alive. Why shouldn't I just die trying to kill this asshole? Wouldn't that reunite me with Joe?

I ran my free hand over my face to wipe away those thoughts, reprimanding myself for even going there. This train of thought wouldn't help me.

I sighed and tried to think of a productive way to get out of the situation. What did I have and how could I use it to my advantage?

Clearly, he was obsessed with me and clearly, he was delusional. If I played into his delusion, would he fall for it or would he become suspicious?

It was hard to think with my head throbbing and my stomach growling, and I was exhausted. But if I gave up now, he'd win.

I pulled on the handcuffs and moved my wrist to see if I could wriggle out of them, but they were fastened tightly. I sighed. The only way I could get out of them was to gnaw my hand off. That wasn't going to happen.

On to plan B, I thought and drew myself a mental to-do list. First off, I had to get him to talk. I still had to find out if he was the real thing. If he had killed Joe. Who he was didn't matter half as much. I didn't care, as long as I got revenge. What was the right punishment for destroying my life? Certainly not a fair trial and jail time.

I smiled at the images my mind displayed, all involving Teddy's slow and painful death.

Okay, I thought and did some mental knuckle cracking, we have a goal. All that was left was to flesh out the details to achieve it.

The problem was that I had to do it on my own. If Ranger knew where I was, he'd have shown up by now. With no way to contact him, I couldn't expect his help. Probably he had every Merry Man searching, but from what I'd seen of the neighborhood, they were searching for a needle in a haystack.

I had to tread carefully though, he'd already displayed his temper once. For all I knew, he could have a gun stashed away somewhere. Even unarmed, he was stronger. This one, I had to win with words. I'd have to swallow my pride and everything I believed in and pretend to be his.

In the morning, I'd wake up a reformed person, I decided. I would tell him I'd had time to think about it and see things his way. He was so full of himself, if I could pull off an Oscar-worthy performance, I'd have him.

I felt as if a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders with my plan all fleshed out. The smile playing around my lips would probably have made Morticia Addams proud as I finally fell asleep.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

So sorry it took me so long to update, the holidays kinda brought RL crashing down on me! I'll try to get chapter 8 up faster, I promise!

Please let me know what you think as I appreciate all feedback. OK, so I am a feedback whore, I admit it…

A special thanks as always to Stayce, if you like this story, it's because of her!

I borrowed the title from Bon Jovi, not from the story.

Disclaimer: The usual, I don't own anything, it's all JE's. Well, the plot is mine, but since I'm stealing the characters, I'm SOL

Rating: R for adult language and situations. They're all adults and they talk and act like it…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 7

I woke up a couple times during the night. Each time, it took me a little while to remember where I was, why I was staring at an unfamiliar ceiling in an unfamiliar room. I thought I heard strange noises and had terrible dreams that I didn't remember, but I woke up gasping for air and drenched in sweat.

The last time though, I did remember my dream and I woke up in tears. I'd been with Joe. He'd put his arms around me and had assured me all would be well, he'd take care of me. Just like the other morning, I was able to touch him. He made me feel so completely safe.

I couldn't hold the tears back, I was sobbing into the pillow as quietly as possible.

I must have cried myself back to sleep because the next thing I knew, the sun was up, bathing the room in warm light.

I remembered my resolutions of the night before and prayed I'd be able to pull it off as I heard Teddy coming down the hall.

"Good Morning, Cupcake!" He greeted me grinning as he walked through the door. I bit back any comment and even stifled a grimace. But he would pay for that later.

"Good morning." I said sleepily, as if he'd just woken me up. "Can you untie me, please? I have to…you know."

"Of course," he nodded, "It was just a precaution, Angel, you know, for your own safety. I don't think we'll be needing these any more." He said as he stepped over and pulled the key to the handcuffs out of his pocket.

"Thank you." I said, smiling up at him when he'd released me.

"Are you feeling better then, Angel?" He asked as he helped me up. I resisted the urge to slap his hand away and nodded.

"Yes, I just needed a good night's sleep." I was making myself sick with the false niceties and I didn't know how much longer I could keep it up. Lucky for me, he seemed to buy it.

"I told you. I know this stuff."

"From your job, right?" I was fishing, but he seemed eager to share. He was nodding as he adjusted the robe around my waist.

"People say I'm only an orderly, what do I know, you know? But I have a quick mind. I hear a lot. I see everything." He pointed a finger at his eye for emphasis and I felt like poking it all the way in.

So he was an orderly. And he knew me, and obviously Morelli and Ranger. My guess was he was working at St. Francis. I'd been there a lot over the years, way more often than I'd liked. But I couldn't ask him directly.

It now made sense that I didn't recognize him; I was usually in a state when I was at a hospital, either unconscious or in pain. I hardly remembered the doctors or nurses if I hadn't gone to school with them.

Teddy was leading me over to the door the same way he'd done the day before, he seemed to really get off on the helpless damsel thing. So I let him, even though his touch made my skin crawl.

He opened the bathroom door for me and closed it behind me. I let out the breath I'd been holding for way too long. It was either hold my breath or scream hysterically.

I started the shower and stood lathering and rinsing until I was sure I had all Teddy cooties washed off for the time being. Probably I'd take four showers today.

The bathroom was the only room so far he'd let me be alone in, and I needed that little breather. If I had to fake stomach flu to be alone as often as possible, that's what I would do.

Teddy'd laid out fresh towels and clothes for me. They weren't mine, but they were my size. A wide-flowing cotton skirt with a floral pattern and a cutesy pink blouse that Valerie would have loved. Probably the kind of clothes he liked to see on a woman. Not my style at all, but anything was better than just the robe at this point. White leather flats completed the outfit.

I gagged as I put on the underwear, imagining how he'd touched the bra and the panties at some point. If I got out of here in them, I'd burn the lot. For now, I just had to stop thinking about it. They were clean, and I was dressed, and that was a lot more important at the moment.

I took a couple deep breaths before I opened the door, my hair was still wet and it would dry to a white girl's afro since I couldn't style it, but why bother?

Teddy wasn't waiting right outside the door for a change, and I took that as a good sign. Maybe he was starting to trust me.

I smelled coffee and followed my nose into the kitchen. Most of the house looked a lot friendlier bathed in sunlight, although the unlived-in feeling remained. It was clean, but there were no personal stuff around, like clothes or pictures. The house seemed to lack people somehow.

Teddy was standing at the stove, his back to me. He was cooking something. I'd already decided to be all friendly to him, but even if I hadn't, I needed to eat.

"I smell coffee." I said and forced a smile onto my face.

He turned around and let his eyes wander from my eyes to my feet and back again.

"You look beautiful, Angel!" he almost whispered, a look of admiration in his eyes. "Thank you." I said and regretted that I couldn't blush on demand; it would have been a nice touch. My smile would have to do.

"So, is there coffee?" I asked as if all was well in the world. Like we'd been friends forever. This was how I hoped his fantasy went, so I could fool him.

"Yes, yes," he nodded excitedly, "Right here, Angel. Sit down, I'll get you some. Breakfast will be ready in a minute!"

My jaw muscle already hurt from fake smiling, so when he handed me the mug of coffee, I was happy to have something to hide my face behind.

I told myself it was going well so far, he seemed to believe me. If I kept it up, he'd trust me in no time and I'd have some time by myself. That's all I needed. If I couldn't find a phone, I could always just run away. I'd seen a house in the distance, there had to be people around.

While I was planning my next moves, I pretended to be busy blowing on my coffee and sipping it slowly.

Teddy put a plate of bacon and eggs in front of me, and this time, the food smells didn't make me sick. He added a couple slices of toast to it and then put his own plate on the table and sat down, his eyes never leaving me.

"This looks good." I said as I picked up my fork. He looked pleased and took a sip of his coffee. Instead of eating though, he continued watching me.

"Aren't you hungry?" I asked between bites because I thought it sounded more polite than what I really wanted to say, 'Stop watching me, Freak!'. Teddy nodded and must have realized he was staring because he finally averted his eyes and focused on eating. I mentally sighed in relief.

After breakfast, I showed my fake gratitude by doing the dishes. He seemed to approve, he sat back in his chair and watched me. I felt my skin crawl again.

"Thank you for breakfast." I said, biting back 'Now let me go, asshole!'. I'd never asked to leave, but I didn't think it was a good idea now. I was pretty sure the answer would be 'No', and in addition, he'd know I didn't want to stay with him and all my efforts to get him to trust me would have been in vain. No, I needed a different approach.

Teddy smiled at me and I tried again to remember his face from before. He may have seen me and watched me, but I was pretty sure I'd never talked to him. Then again, there was nothing memorable about his face. He was a little shorter than average, but not so short that you would look twice. Nothing about him would make anyone look twice. He blended in.

I forced myself to sit back down at the table and look at him while trying to come up with something to say.

"So Teddy, are you on vacation?" I finally asked. It was a valid question, I'd decided, since he was spending his days with me and it was the middle of the week.

He scoffed and waved his hands dismissively. "Let them wonder where I am. Spending time with you is more important, Angel." He reached out and put his hand on mine. I sucked in some air but managed to leave my hand in place.

"As a matter of fact, it's the most important thing in my life." He said and squeezed my hand. I knew that it would have been more convincing if I said something, but all I could manage was another smile as I was trying to swallow the bile that was rising up in my throat. He made me sick. For a moment, I wondered if this was how Lula had felt when she was still a hooker and I wished I knew how she'd distanced herself from the physical disgust.

I'd always relied on my instincts to get through life, and right now, my instincts were telling me to hit and run. Teddy was telling me about how great our life together would be and I secretly scanned the kitchen for anything I could use as a weapon. The skillet he'd made breakfast in was still on the stove, and it would still be hot and filled with grease. If I could somehow get up and make it over there, I was sure I could hit Teddy over the head with it.

I didn't even want a phone anymore and call for help; I just wanted to get the hell out of here.

Teddy's voice brought me back to reality.

"I'm so happy you have come around, Angel. I didn't know how long it would take you to realize the pig was simply in our way."

He was stroking the back of my hand with his thumb and it took a lot of willpower to not yank it away.

This was what I needed to know, if he really was the one who'd killed Joe. But my throat was so tight, I wasn't sure I could make myself to ask the right questions.

"So how…" I croaked and his face lit up. I wanted to slap the smile away.

"I've known for a while that he was all that stood between us, Angel. Time after time, I watched him hold you back. He never appreciated you. Just like that mercenary!" He almost spat the last word and it took me a moment to realize he was talking about Ranger now.

"You cannot be blamed, Angel. They were both poisoning your mind, tricked you into liking them. Well, no more!" he squeezed my hand harder as he raised his voice "You are with me now!"

I cleared my throat as tears were stinging my eyes.

"You killed Joe?" I asked, barely keeping my voice above a whisper.

Teddy nodded emphatically. "It took a lot longer than I'd planned, I'm sorry I kept you waiting for so long." He reached out to touch my hair and this time, I did flinch.

He pulled his hand back and frowned.

"I did it for you, Angel, for us!" He said and he looked hurt. I couldn't get the image of Joe out of my head. Although I hadn't been at the scene, I saw him lying in his blood, breathing his last breath.

"But how…" Again I couldn't finish the question, but I didn't have to.

"Ah see, that's what took so long!' Teddy said, excited again. "I had to get him to meet me alone! Once I had him at the warehouse, it was easy. He'd been waiting for a break in the case for so long, he jumped at the chance to meet me!"

Tears were running down my cheeks now, I was unable to hold my emotions back. Fortunately, Teddy was so far gone that he misunderstood. He jumped up and wrapped an arm around me.

"I know, Angel, I know. I was just as happy when I realized the final obstacle was cleared away. Of course it was a big risk, but I was willing to take it. For you!"

I went numb as the truth set in. He had killed Joe. And he had killed him for me. It was my fault Joe was dead! I couldn't pretend any longer and struggled to get Teddy's arm off of me.

"Angel?" He asked, and I thought his voice sounded hurt. I realized I was jeopardizing my own plan but I was unable to stop it.

"You killed Joe." I said, no longer able to hold back. He nodded. I looked up and met his eyes.

He was alive and Joe was dead. I could not shake that thought; it kept repeating itself over and over in my head.

I pushed my chair back and stood, jerking away from Teddy. I turned and ran, out of the kitchen and into the hallway.

"Angel? Stephanie, wait!" Teddy was shouting behind me. I didn't even know what I was doing, I just wanted to be away.

I ran blindly towards the front door and yanked it open; I could hear Teddy's steps behind me.

"Cupcake!" I hesitated at that name for the briefest moment, but managed to barrel through the door onto the porch. Bright sunlight blinded me but I couldn't give my eyes the time to get used to it, I never broke stride. That's when I felt a sting on my shoulder. I remembered the sensation from a while back, I'd been shot with a tranquilizer dart.

I turned around to look at Teddy. He was slowly lowering the gun as my vision got blurry and bright sunshine was replaced by darkness.

When I woke up, I was alone. It hurt to even open my eyes, I felt like I'd run a marathon. My head was pounding and my muscles were sore. I was back in the bedroom, lying on the bed.

Both of my wrists were cuffed to the bedposts, but I was still dressed and my legs weren't shackled.

Good going, I thought. I'd blown it. Teddy would probably never believe me again, unless I'd somehow manage to convince him I'd freaked for another reason.

But I didn't regret my reaction. Anything else would have been like I was betraying Joe; I just couldn't pretend I was okay with Teddy killing Joe.

I sighed and stared at the ceiling. If I stopped playing along, Teddy would probably just leave me tied up at all times. If I played along I'd have to endure his touch again.

Then I remembered how he'd shot me. Somewhere between the kitchen and the front door, he'd hidden a tranquilizer gun. And maybe he'd put it back there after he'd used it on me. I'd have to pay more attention on my way to the bathroom and the kitchen, check for closets and such. If I'd known about the gun, I could have grabbed it instead of trying to reach the front door; there would have been enough time.

I was trying hard to focus on forming a plan, but tears were welling up in my eyes again. I gave myself a mental pep talk, promising me all the time I'd need to cry and feel sorry for myself later. For now, I had to keep it together. If I gave up, Joe's killer would go free.

I could hear Teddy rummaging in another part of the house and immediately felt sick to my stomach. That's when I knew I couldn't bear to be nice to him any more. But what other option did I have?

Teddy's footsteps brought me out of my thoughts and I took a deep breath to ready myself. He even knocked on the door. I scoffed and imagined the ways I was going to hurt him before I said "Come in."

He opened the door a crack and stuck his head through, once again smiling.

"How're you feeling, Angel?" At least he was back to calling me Angel. If he called me cupcake one more time I was going to spit at him. I sighed.

"I have a terrible headache. I must have hit my head or something." I shook my head slightly, hoping he would believe I couldn't remember what happened. My voice was neutral, as close as it would come to nice.

He came all the way in and his forehead creased in a frown. "I'm sorry you're not feeling well. How about some Aspirin?"

Well, at least he didn't seem mad. I nodded slightly. "That would be nice."

Teddy ran his hand over my forearm before holding on to the wrist and unlocking the cuffs. He walked around the bed and repeated the procedure on my other arm, then he helped me up.

"Let's get you some tea, you'll feel better in no time." he said as he led me out of the bedroom.

Okay, I thought, he was going with denial as well, it seemed. I was an expert on denial.

I kept quiet as Teddy led me through the house, but with my head lowered, my eyes were darting back and forth trying to find the place he'd hidden the gun.

He stopped at the bathroom and even though I didn't have to go, I willingly stepped in and closed the door. Although I had examined it earlier, I gave the window another look. Even if I could somehow wiggle through it, it would take too long, so I discarded it once and for all as a possible escape route.

I sat down on the toilet with a sigh. I had no idea what time it was, but if I had to spend another night here, I feared I'd never get out. I needed a plan! The problem was, my track record with plans wasn't all that great lately. I needed a plan that would actually work.

'What would Ranger do?' I thought and then almost laughed out loud. Ranger would never be in this situation to begin with! I wondered if he was still out there looking for me.

A few minutes later, I joined Teddy in the kitchen. He was leaning against the counter facing me. He'd let me exit the bathroom by myself, maybe he hadn't lost all trust after all. It was worth a shot.

"Say Teddy? Can I ask you a favor?"

"Anything, Angel." He said at once and I had to swallow hard so I wouldn't gag.

"I should really check in with my mom, she's probably worried sick. Do you have a phone I could use?"

He thought about that for a moment. He clearly didn't want me to use the phone, but he couldn't argue with getting in touch with my parents, I thought. I was hoping he'd agree that it wouldn't be right for a nice girl not to let her parents know she was okay.

"I…I don't have a land line here…" He said slowly. This was good, even if he was lying, he didn't just say no. I smiled at him understandingly. "Maybe later then."

He nodded. "You bet. Let's get you some tea now!" He turned, reached up, opened a cabinet, took out a couple mugs and started the kettle. Then he opened a drawer and took out a pill bottle. I was watching him closely to see if there was anything in the cabinets or drawers I could use as a weapon.

When he placed the pills in front of me, I barely glanced at the bottle to check if they were really pain relievers before I grabbed them and the glass of water he'd put next to them. I couldn't think straight with this headache.

"Thank you." I said when I had swallowed the pills. I couldn't force myself to look at him just yet, but I realized I had to talk to him.

Teddy sat down at the table and I could feel his eyes on me.

"I'm gonna have to run some errands." He finally said. "I will call your parents from a cell phone to give them the good news."

Again I had to swallow hard. Losing my temper wouldn't do me any good right now. He was going to leave, that's what I had to hold on to. I nodded.

"Are you gonna go shopping? There are a few things I need…" I figured if I led him to believe I was ready to settle down, he'd let down his guard.

"Yes, there's shopping and laundry and the call…lots to do." I could sense the smile in his voice as I was focusing on my water glass. The kettle whistled and I jumped. Teddy got up and made the tea. He brought the steaming cups to the table. I didn't have to force a smile, he was going to leave me by myself! Finally! I hadn't thought I'd get another chance after what happened earlier.

After I'd finished my tea, the pain killers were kicking in and I was feeling better. Teddy gave me a pad and paper and I wrote down all the bathroom necessities I needed if I was going to stay here for the rest of my life. I was hoping that would send him the right message, he was crazy enough to believe I'd change my mind.

His eyes widened when he saw the list and he looked up at me. I shrugged. He sighed and shoved the list into his pockets.

"Your beauty comes at a price, huh?" He asked, leaning down to kiss my hair. I managed not to flinch but I shuddered mentally.

"That's right. It needs quite some work." I confirmed and hoped he wouldn't notice the way I had to press the words out.

I hadn't really thought Teddy would leave me to roam around in the house, so when he motioned for me to stand up, I wasn't surprised.

He led me back to the bedroom and cuffed my right hand to the bedpost. This time he didn't make up some phony reason though, he just kept smiling at me.

"I'll be back before you know it, Angel." He said as he left. I nodded and pretended to make myself comfortable for a nap, while my mind was racing.

As soon as I heard the front door close I sat up and tried to free myself. Okay, gnawing my hand off was definitely out, but there had to be a way I could squeeze it out, right? I rattled and pulled until I was drenched in sweat; my wrist was cut and bleeding but hadn't moved much. I got up and started yanking, trying to break the wood the cuffs were attached to. The headboard was split horizontally, creating a two-inch gap, and Teddy had snaked the cuffs in between the boards to fasten the cuffs around the post. At some point I stopped caring if Teddy came back unexpectedly, I was putting all my energy into my escape plan.

I finally heard the desired creak; my left hand had almost gone numb. With a final pull, I tore the post from the bed frame. It came loose so fast, it knocked me on my ass as it hit me on the forehead and almost rendered me unconscious again.

The headache was back with a vengeance, but I was free!

I waited a few seconds for the stars to fade, then I slowly got back to my feet. Blood was dripping from my wrist that still had the cuffs dangling around it and from my forehead. I was glad I couldn't see what I looked like.

There was no telling how much time I would have left and I didn't want to waste it by searching for a phone line. I grabbed the sheet off the bed and wiped my face, then I barreled through the bedroom door into the hallway, past the bathroom and the stairs, into the living room leading to the front door.

I realized I should have looked for weapons, but I couldn't slow down. I yanked the door open when a familiar sight caught my eye: a gray phone cord sticking out of the wall.

There was no one outside and a quick look around showed me no one approaching either, so I took the time to investigate. I followed the cord; it ran from the front wall next to the door over the floor and under an overstuffed chair. Sure enough, there was a phone attached to the other end. I grabbed the receiver and was surprised to hear a dial tone. Probably I would have been overjoyed, but I was running on such an adrenaline high that it was hard to top my current state.

I punched in the number without thinking about it and until he picked up, I hadn't realized who I'd called.

"It's me." That was all I could say, then I sobbed.

"Babe, calm down. Where are you? Are you okay?" it was so good to hear Ranger's voice. I pressed the receiver to my ear and wanted to just collapse onto the floor.

"Babe?"

I shook my head to clear it and the throbbing got worse. The pain brought me back to reality.

"I don't know where I am. I'm alone."

I didn't think I was making much sense, and I hoped Ranger would be able to understand me at all.

"Help me." I choked out. I had no idea how Ranger could help me since I couldn't tell him where to find me, but I was desperate and not thinking straight.

A noise from outside startled me and I yelped, dropped the receiver and turned to run. If Teddy was coming back, I didn't want him to find me, so I ran through the house to the back. Luckily, there was a back door. I left a trail of blood behind me and on the locks as I opened the door, but I couldn't possibly have cared less.

The back door opened to a small porch and wooden stoop. My left foot crashed through the decayed wood of the porch and I felt splinters pierce my skin. I angrily yanked my leg free and continued on down the stairs. The back yard was overgrown with high grass and weeds and a few bushes and trees. I just ran, trying to put as much distance as possible between me and the house, as fast as possible.

Since it was still day time, Teddy would be able to follow me easily, my only hope was speed.

After about a hundred yards I got to a fence and I climbed it without giving any thoughts to my clothes. A rusty nail tore through the skirt and my thigh as I was jumping off on the other side and I barely noticed. I couldn't feel anything but the need to run and I couldn't hear anything over the blood rushing in my ears.

I mostly stumbled over the grassy field beyond the backyard, crawling on all fours when I couldn't get up fast enough.

Finally, I saw a house up ahead. It couldn't have been more than a couple hundred yards away, but it seemed to me like I was running in slow motion and the distance didn't get any smaller.

The house was a white, two-story Victorian, and the closer I got to it, the emptier it looked. I was so excited to have reached safety, I tripped on the stoop and fell face down onto the porch.

It took some effort to get back up, my legs were wobbly and my balance was poor, but I managed to get to the front door and banged on it with all my strength.

No one answered.

I looked around for any other signs of life. The driveway was empty. Probably the inhabitants were off at work. The next house was down the dirt road, maybe half a mile away. I didn't think I could make it that far. It was no longer sunny, they sky was grey, and it was cold.

For the first time since I'd started running, I risked a look over my shoulder. No one was behind me. Teddy was nowhere in sight.

I banged on the door one more time and then gave up. If I broke in, Teddy could easily find me. I limped around the house to the backyard and discovered a small tool shed hidden behind the house. I hadn't noticed it from the front, and it would have to do, I was exhausted.

It had a padlock on the door, but the wood around it looked rotten. I pushed my shoulder against it and it gave, sending me flying into the shed. I banged against the tools hanging on the far wall and collapsed onto the floor. Since I had lost my shoes at some point, my feet were cut and bleeding, but I barely noticed the pain when I kicked the door shut again.

There was a dirty dust cover under a small work bench and I grabbed it to cover myself. There was no window in the shed; I was hoping there wasn't any light fixture either. Maybe I'd be able to fool Teddy if he looked inside.

When I finally managed to get my breathing under control, I listened for any sounds of approaching food steps. I couldn't hear anything but chirping birds and rustling leaves on the ground.

I was bleeding from countless cuts and scrapes, but I since there was no gushing blood, I ignored them. Every bone and muscle was aching; I didn't think I could take another step. Stars were dancing in front of my eyes and the room seemed to spin. The adrenaline high I'd been on since Teddy had left me alone was finally subsiding. Now I was just tired, cold and in pain.

I armed myself with a small hoe I grabbed from its hook on the wall and waited.

I don't know how long I just sat there, covered in the dirty blanket or if I nodded off intermittently, but I snapped back into attention when I heard tires screech nearby. I could hear several sets of footsteps approach, but no one spoke. I hardened my grip around the hoe and straightened my shoulders, shucked the blanket and got into a crouch, ready to pounce.

When the shed's door was pushed open, I let out a battle scream and launched myself at the intruder, my weapon raised high.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you so very much for your reviews, I appreciate them more than you can imagine. Please continue to let me know what you think.

Vielen lieben Dank to Stayce for being there for me, again, and keeping this story interesting. I wouldn't know what to do without you, Babe.

I borrowed the title from Bon Jovi, not from the story.

Disclaimer: The usual, I don't own anything, it's all JE's. Well, the plot is mine, but since I'm stealing the characters, I'm SOL. And I'm just assuming that you've read all the books, but if you haven't there may be spoilers.

Rating: R for adult language and situations. They're all adults and they talk and act like it…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 8

**It **was completely black as pitch in the shed and all I could see was the black silhouette of a figure in the doorway when I blindly swung the hoe down as I screamed my lungs out. I was running on anger, adrenaline and survival instinct. I didn't want to defend myself, I wanted to kill the motherfucker.

Before I could strike though, a hand shot out and caught my wrist in an iron grip. Another hand caught my free arm. I panicked and was about to resort to kicking and biting when I a firm voice say, "Stephanie!". The voice was familiar but I was busy trying to free my hand, so it took me a second before I realized it was Ranger.

I stared up into his face and reached out to touch him, just to make sure it was really him.

Then I slumped against his chest, wailing. He caught me easily and picked me up off the floor. I wrapped my arms around him in a death grip. I was crying uncontrollably, and I'd never been happier to see him, not even when I fell out of the cabinet at Stiva's.

When I put my head on his shoulder, Ranger started stroking my hair and whispered something in Spanish. He rocked my gently in his arms as his body heat seeped into me and gave me back some of my strength. I couldn't understand what he was saying, but it was soft and soothing.

I had no idea how he'd found me, he'd managed to get to me just in time. I don't think I ever doubted he'd come for me, but a little voice kept telling me I wouldn't be rescued this time, I'd either freeze to death in the shed or be found by Teddy.

"Let's get you outta here." Ranger said when I'd calmed down a little and he carried me out of the shed, across the lawn, into the back of his SUV. I wasn't sure I could have walked if I tried, and I was more than happy to let Ranger take over.

I could see how tired he looked when the dome light illuminated his face and wondered if he'd been up since the day before when I talked to him. He draped a blanket over me and gently pushed me down when I struggled to sit up.

"I'll get you to a hospital. No arguments, Babe." He said quietly as he backed up.

"I'm fine." I protested weakly and Ranger shook his head slightly.

"Humor me, then." He said, closed the door and got into the driver's seat.

I was too overwhelmed and happy to feel any pain; I just wanted to know how he'd found me and if Teddy was dead. But somehow I couldn't form the words. I held on to the blanket for warmth, my body felt like an icicle. Ranger started the car and I knew this wasn't a time to ask him questions anyway. The constant hum of the engine lulled me into sleep. I knew I was safe now with Ranger so close by, I could allow my senses to relax.

I woke up when a car door slammed shut and tried to fight my way through the layers of sleep. Moments later, I felt cold air. I panicked. After a minute, my brain connected the dots: Ranger had closed his door, then opened mine.

"Hey." He said when he saw I was awake. I couldn't make out his face because there was a bright light behind him.

"Hey." I replied and tried to get into a sitting position.

Ranger stepped aside and I could see two more men behind him, a gurney between them. I rolled my eyes. Even though Ranger'd said he was taking me to a hospital, I'd hoped it was just an empty threat. I couldn't make out if we were at St Francis, that would just take the cake.

Ranger lifted me out of the car and onto the gurney. I didn't argue. When I looked around, I realized we were at some hospital I didn't recognize, not at St Francis, and I sighed in relief.

"Where are we?" I asked Ranger.

"Bridgeton." He said and brushed some hair off my forehead. "I'll take you back to Trenton as soon as possible. Let's get you checked out first."

I was rushed inside and was introduced to a nurse. I zoned out while my vital signs were taken. The nurse helped me up and walked me over to a washroom where she helped me take off my clothes. She cleaned me up and handed me a hospital gown before she got a wheelchair to get me over to x-ray. It hurt to put my body into all kinds of positions, I felt like one big bruise. Finally, I was pushed over to the suture room to be stitched up. The stitching took a while; I hadn't even realized how many cuts I had.

I was wheeled back to the main room and the nurse helped me onto the bed. I was glad there were privacy curtains all around me, I didn't want to keep checking if anyone was watching me. I was told a doctor would see me shortly. I was feeling groggy although I hadn't been given any drugs yet.

Before the doctor got to me, the curtain was pushed aside and Ranger entered. He was frowning, but when he saw me, his face lit up in a half smile.

"How're you feeling?" He asked, pulling up a chair to sit beside my bed.

"I'm okay. Just waiting for the doc so I can get out of here." I said.

Ranger shook his head. "That's not gonna happen. You need to stay here. I hate to say it, but you should have a look in the mirror if you don't believe me."

I looked at him, his blank face was in place. It was going to be hard to argue my point. I sighed.

"Thank you." I said. Ranger looked so confused, I had to chuckle. Then I regretted it because laughing made my entire body hurt.

"Thank you for saving me." I explained. "How did you find me?"

Ranger leaned in to explain, but we were interrupted when the doctor entered. He was an older guy, close to my dad's age. He introduced himself as Dr. Beyer and he didn't look up from his clipboard until after he asked Ranger to leave.

"I'll be right outside." Ranger said as he got up. He kissed me lightly on the forehead and left.

The doctor went back to studying my chart, probably trying to figure out what the hell had happened to me. Ranger must have given them all the necessary information, because no one had asked me a question for the chart.

"Miss…uh…Plum, any dizziness, shortness of breath, headaches?" Dr. Beyer asked, glancing at me. Actually, I had all of the above, but they sounded like symptoms that would keep me in here, so I shook my head.

"I'm fine." I lied.

Dr. Beyer got out a penlight and shone it into my eyes, then he checked the skin around the cuts.

"We'd like to keep you overnight for observation." He said as he wrote something down on his clipboard.

"If I promise to go straight to bed, can I go home? My roommate is a nurse, she will take care of me." I said, trying to look real responsible and sane while I lied my heart out. I was trying to keep my voice down so that Ranger wouldn't hear me.

Dr. Beyer looked up and studied me for a moment. "I guess that would be okay," He said slowly, "But I'd still need you to sign an AMA form for insurance purposes."

I nodded. "No problem!" I was already tossing the blanket back. This had gone so much easier than I'd expected.

"I'm going to give you a prescription for an ointment, you need to apply it to the cuts and scrapes. Take some Advil for any pain. And please follow up with your PCP within a week."

I could tell Dr. Beyer was a busy man and I didn't want to take up any more of his time, I kept nodding and smiling as I scanned the room for my clothes.

The doctor left and I let out a breath. One down, I thought. Surely Ranger couldn't argue with a doctor's decision.

A nurse appeared moments later with a form for me to sign. "Do you know what happened to my clothes?" I asked her when I had signed my name to the release form.

"We burned then." She scoffed, but then she smiled. "Just kidding. We actually just threw them out. You wouldn't be able to wear them any more. If you like, I can bring you some clothes you can wear to go home."

Anything would be better than the gown my ass was hanging out of so I agreed and promised myself not to question the clothes' origin when I remembered an old ER episode.

Ranger came back in, an eyebrow raised. "Why are you out of bed?" He asked.

"I'm going home." I announced. I was still holding on to the bed for support because the room hadn't stopped spinning yet.

Ranger shook his head.

"I just talked to your doctor. You have a concussion," He used the fingers on his left hand to count off my ailments, "You're covered in bruises and you may develop infections from your cuts."

I shook my head. "But nothing's broken. I just need to sleep, I'll be fine."

Ranger looked at me and I could tell he was trying to determine if it was worth the effort. He shook his head exasperated.

"Only you, babe."

I smiled although I didn't feel like it. No need to tell him I didn't plan on sleeping all that much. It was just that hospitals made me feel uncomfortable, especially after meeting Teddy. Who knew how many crazies were in this hospital?

The nurse came back with a pile of clothes and I took them gratefully. Ranger raised an eyebrow after one look at them but didn't say anything. I pointed to the curtain and he left to give me some privacy.

For once I didn't fight the mandatory wheelchair that brought me outside and back to Ranger's car.

Ranger's face was unreadable while he walked beside me. The nurse gave him some last minute instructions and the prescription, then he helped me into the SUV's passenger side and buckled me in.

"This was too easy." I said when he took his seat on the driver's side.

"Babe." He just said. I'd turned to look at him, now I put my hand on his forearm to make him look at me.

"You're going home with me." He said and started the car. I sighed. I should have known, no wonder he didn't argue more. At Rangeman, I'd be under constant supervision, and there weren't any of those dangers that were lurking at the hospital.

My reasons for not going with Ranger earlier seemed ridiculous to me now. I did my own thing, and Ranger had ended up having to rescue me anyway. What I needed was a good plan that would involve Ranger _and_ me. First I needed sleep though. My emotions were too close to the surface, there was no way I could have a reasonable conversation in my state. As much as I wanted to know how Ranger'd found me and what he'd done to Teddy, it would have to wait.

Ranger cut his eyes to me when I shifted in my seat.

"You alright, Babe?" He asked. I was now. Here in the car, I had no worries. I was doing a great job avoiding reality and not facing my guilt. The worries would start once I had the dream again, or once I had to face my real life again.

I nodded. "I'm fine." Okay, so I was not physically fine. I was nauseous and the world wouldn't stop spinning. My head was throbbing and every muscle in my body hurt. But mentally at least, I was okay for the moment.

I didn't think I could fool Ranger, but he went back to his zone without arguing. It did occur to me that I could have saved myself a lot of trouble if I'd followed Ranger's advice from the start. I didn't regret making the decision but I berated myself for stupidly letting myself get caught and needing to be rescued. Again.

I blew out a frustrated breath while Ranger got onto Route 55 to get us back to Trenton. So far, I hadn't even bothered to ask where Ranger'd found me. I looked over my shoulder.

"You were in Shiloh." Ranger said as if he was reading my mind. "Bridgeton was the closest hospital, and it may be one without ties to the Burg. In case you don't want everyone to know right away."

"Thank you." I said, but it didn't seem enough. Ranger'd thought so much further ahead than I had. It didn't even occur to me that I might not want my entire family to know that I was beaten and bloody. I wanted to thank Ranger for thinking ahead, and for thinking for me. I wanted to thank him for being there for me.

Unfortunately, the thought of Ranger caring for me brought on the thought of Joe not being there for me and before I knew it, a loud sob followed.

"You sure you're okay?" Ranger asked and I could feel his eyes on me. I nodded, but I was unable to stop the tears.

I couldn't tell him why I was crying. Whatever I said, it would come out wrong. I didn't' know how to tell him that I was happy he was here, but I was sad Joe wasn't. It's not that I wished Ranger was dead instead, I just missed Joe so much it hurt.

Ranger stopped the car on the breakdown lane and pulled me towards him. I didn't know how many times I'd cried on his shoulder for the last week, I'd lost count. I leaned into Ranger, inhaling his scent and sobbed. I was crying out of grief, self-pity and relief. I cried for Joe, I cried for myself and I cried because I'd survived Teddy.

Ranger held me tight and didn't say a word; he just ran his hand over my hair every now and then.

Finally, my sobs died down to silent tears and hiccups and I pulled back. "I'm sorry." I mumbled.

Ranger produced a tissue and handed it to me. I'd probably left a mess on his shirt, I didn't want to look.

"Feel better?" He asked. I couldn't even look up to meet his eyes, so I just nodded as I blew my nose.

"I'm sorry." I said again.

"Don't be." He said and stroked my hair. "I'm sorry I couldn't get to you sooner."

So he thought I was just traumatized by the last 24 hours. Ranger's opinion of me was a lot nicer than my own. What I was experiencing was yet another breakdown. I longed for my bed, I just wanted to hide beneath the covers and never come out again. I'd tried facing reality, it didn't work. As much as I'd thought I wanted to know the truth about Joe's death, it hadn't changed anything. Now I knew who was responsible, but it didn't bring Joe back.

I let out a shaky sigh and slumped down in the car seat. Ranger took one last look at me, put the car in gear and maneuvered us back into the flow of traffic.

We drove the rest of the way in silence. Ranger parked the SUV in the Rangeman garage on Haywood. I'd given up hope he'd change his mind and drive me to my apartment when he'd driven right by my exit on the highway. I sighed again heavily as Ranger killed the engine. He put his hand on my forearm to get my attention.

"Let's talk about it tomorrow, Babe. For now, you should get some rest." He said and I nodded. Sleep sounded good. With any luck, it would even be dreamless.

I got out of the car and followed Ranger to the elevators. I could feel him watching me, but he didn't say anything. Ranger always knew when to give me space.

He hit the call button on the elevator and we got in when it arrived. Ranger pressed the 7 button and waved his key fob in front of the reader.

"No room on the 4th floor?" I asked flatly.

"There is. But not for you, not tonight." Ranger said.

I was torn between wanting to be alone and not leaving Ranger's side. Probably staying in Ranger's apartment was the only compromise.

Ranger gently nudged me out of the elevator on the 7th floor by putting his hand in the small of my back. I had gone numb. The latest breakdown was proof enough that I couldn't handle reality just now.

When Ranger opened the door, I slid past him and went straight for his bathroom. I locked the door and turned on the shower. I didn't care about the orders not to shower for 24 hours, to hell with what the nurse said! I was going to escape into denial land, starting with a long, hot shower that would wash away all remnants of Teddy's touch!

Grabbing a large fluffy towel, I stepped out of the shower into the fogged-up bathroom. My skin was pruney, I must have stayed under the shower for over a half hour. It worked, too, I felt much better.

Ranger didn't have any of the stuff I needed to pamper myself, but body and I my hair were clean and I smelled heavenly. I sat down on the toilet and wrapped the towel tighter around me.

The last couple days, bathrooms had been bad to me. Teddy'd snagged me out of the one at the hotel and the one at my prison had been very Spartan. But this was Ranger's bathroom, in Ranger's apartment, and I felt completely safe. I didn't want to leave it; I didn't want to know what was behind the door.

I realized I was going down the road into denial again, but I didn't care. Thinking about the safety of bathrooms was way more comfortable than thinking about reality.

Finally I told myself to get a grip, straightened my shoulders and exchanged the towel for Ranger's robe that was hanging on a hook by the door.

I half-expected Ranger to wait for me in his bedroom, but it was empty when I left the bathroom. A glance at the bedside alarm clock told me it was 3 am, and I felt like it, too. I was exhausted and every bone in my body hurt.

I stopped and listened for any sounds on the other side of the bedroom door, but couldn't hear anything. A bedside table lamp was giving off a soft light, otherwise the room was dark. I turned off the bathroom light behind me and walked over to the bed. I was dead tired and wanted to sleep for a year. What I didn't know was whether I wanted to sleep in Ranger's bed.

My exhaustion won over, after only a moment's hesitation, I switched off the light, crawled under the soft covers and made myself comfortable. I tried to find happy thoughts, but none would come.

Whenever I closed my eyes, I would either see Joe's face or Teddy's. Joe's face brought on sadness, Teddy's made me angry. I lay awake for the longest time, tossing and turning and crying until I finally fell asleep.

I woke up with a start. It was totally dark in the room and I didn't know where I was. Panic set in and I was about to jump up when I recognized a scent. Ranger's shower gel, Bulgari. I was in Ranger's apartment, I was safe.

I sank back into the pillows and decided it must have been a dream that woke me, because there was no sound in the room apart from my breathing.

The alarm clock's display read 5:00; I'd slept for less than an hour. Still exhausted, I tried to just turn and fall back asleep, but now my head was throbbing and the wound in my leg felt like it was on fire.

With a sigh, I threw back the covers and went to the bathroom in search of any kind of painkiller. I'd never noticed Ranger didn't have a medicine cabinet. The entire wall over the sinks was mirrored, but there were no hidden cabinets. There was room under the sinks, but there weren't any drugs there either.

The throbbing made it hard to think now and I was limping because my leg hurt so bad. I needed something.

I gave up on the bathroom and continued my search in the kitchen. Nothing. I sighed frustrated and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge.

When I closed the fridge door, I heard a rustle of fabric from the direction of the living room and I froze in place until I reminded myself, again, that I was at Ranger's and safe.

"You okay, Babe?" Ranger asked. I still couldn't see him but I figured he'd been sleeping on the couch.

"Uh-huh. Just trying to find some Advil."

Ranger joined me in the kitchen and flicked on the overhead light. When his eyes met mine, he frowned.

"You sure you're okay?"

I nodded but lowered my gaze to the water bottle in my hand. "Just very tired. And I have this splitting headache." I said. That was such a fib. I felt like shit.

"You should let me take you back to the hospital." Ranger said as he reached up and opened a cabinet. He took a bottle of Advil out and I had to shake my head to get the image of Teddy out of it, Ranger's gesture was so similar.

"Something wrong?" Ranger asked. He sure didn't miss much.

He shook out two pills and handed them to me. I could feel his eyes on me the entire time. I sighed when I'd downed the pills and chased them with a sip of water.

Ranger took the bottle from my hands and put it on the counter, then he pulled me close.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked softly. I shook my head into his chest. No, I didn't want to talk about it, about anything. I wanted to forget it had ever happened.

We stood like that for a long time, Ranger held me close and I was slumped against him. We didn't move, and we didn't talk. At first I thought I'd start the crying thing again, but for the moment, I was all cried out.

I took a deep breath and lifted my head up. I'd had my hands linked behind Ranger's back, now I put them flat on his skin-tight t-shirt.

All of a sudden, I knew what I wanted, knew how to forget it all, at least for the moment. He felt so strong, and I wanted to sap some of that strength. I needed him to share his warmth, his strength, and his faith in me. I wanted him.

The Advil would take care of the aches and pains, and Ranger would take care of the tumultuous emotions. Whatever it took, I wanted to forget. Ranger would take me into a world were nothing mattered but lust.

I stood on tippy toes and brought my lips to his.

I felt Ranger's surprise but he didn't pull back. I tightened my hands around him and deepened the kiss. My tongue snaked through Ranger's lips and he opened his mouth immediately. I molded my body to his and could feel his tight muscles through the fabric of his sweatpants when I put my bare leg between his.

I tugged his t-shirt out of his pants and let my hands wander underneath it; I wanted to feel his bare skin. His muscled rippled under my touch.

I felt rather than heard Ranger groan before he reached back, took my hands in his and pulled them away from his back. He held on to them and placed them on his chest, his eyes locking with mine.

"Not like this, Babe." He said softly, "No Babe. Not like this." He stepped back from me and held me at arms length.

Did I hear him right? He was rejecting me? I wanted to lose myself in him. I wanted Ranger to make me forget. I'd never needed him more than right this second and he was pushing me back?

I jerked out of his grip and turned, running blindly through the apartment back to the bedroom.

"Babe" Ranger called, but I didn't stop. What was there to say? I couldn't look at him after he'd rejected me.

I reached the bedroom, and slammed the door shut behind me, then I fell onto the bed and curled up into a ball. I pulled the covers over my head and let the tears come.

My head buried in a pillow, I was sobbing painful, wracking sobs that made my throat hurt and my whole body shiver.

Ranger didn't want me. Joe was dead. I was cut and bruised. Every part of me hurt, my body, my mind, my heart, even my ego.

I just wanted the pain to stop.

A/N: A little shorter this time, but it felt like a natural stop. Let me know how you feel about it.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you so very much for your reviews, they mean a lot to me. Please let me know what you think of this chapter, I know you had to wait a long time for it.

Muchas Gracias to Stayce. Te quiero, chica!

I borrowed the title from Bon Jovi, not from the story, but I do think it fits

Disclaimer: The usual, I don't own anything, it's all JE's. Well, the plot is mine, but since I'm stealing the characters, I'm SOL. And I'm just assuming that you've read all the books, but if you haven't there may be spoilers.

Rating: R for adult language and situations. They're all adults and they talk and act like it…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 9

**At **some point, I must have cried myself to sleep, because I woke up at noon. There was no sound in the apartment, but I knew that didn't mean I was alone.

The nurse at the hospital had told me not to shower and not to fall asleep. Now I knew why. My head was throbbing and I had to close one eye to focus on anything.

I didn't feel bad about lying to the doctor about having a nurse close by, or leaving the hospital though. No way could I have stayed there.

I fell back onto the pillow with a sigh. There was still the talk with Ranger. I'd never gotten to ask him how he'd found me, or what had happened to Teddy. But the thought of seeing Ranger made me cringe. I couldn't face him after last night.

Just thinking about what happened made my stomach turn. If my life was a mess before, now it was a disaster.

I stared at the ceiling and let the past few weeks replay in my head.

Joe and I had been good. We'd settled into a comfortable relationship, one where I wasn't afraid to call him my boyfriend. I wouldn't say we were headed for the altar, but we weren't ruling it out anymore either.

With new tears stinging my eyes, I was wondering what I would have done differently had I known that morning was the last time I'd see Joe.

If only I'd tried harder to keep him in bed, he would have never made it to the station and would have missed Teddy's phone call.

Joe was dead because of me, Teddy'd left no doubt about that.

I tried to tell myself to stop, wallowing in self-pity wouldn't help me, but that didn't work. It seemed like all I was capable of anymore was self-pity and guilt.

Probably Ranger wouldn't let me stay in bed all day anyway, so I mentally kicked my own ass and rolled out of bed. My leg was still burning from the cut, and overall, I felt sore and bruised. I grimaced when I realized how much my outside matched my inside. Sore and bruised described me completely inside and out.

I limped over to the bathroom and discovered a stack of clothes that had been laid out for me. By Ella, no doubt. Bless her heart, I didn't have to wear the borrowed clothes from the hospital again.

I felt a little better after standing in the shower for a half hour, but my head was still killing me. Fortunately I knew where Ranger kept his painkillers now.

I got coffee started and washed down some Advil with water when I heard the front door open. So much for delaying the inevitable, I thought.

Ranger joined me in the kitchen when I was pouring myself a cup of coffee. My eyes were focusing on the pot and my cup, a perfect excuse for not meeting his eyes.

"How're you feeling today?" He asked.

I sighed. Should I tell him the truth? He'd probably pack me up and ship me back to the hospital. But I couldn't lie to him anymore either.

"Crappy." I said.

"Can you tell me what happened?" He asked, his voice soft. That question covered a lot of ground. Did he mean what happened before he showed up at the shed? Did he mean when I made a fool out of myself right where we were standing now? I sighed again.

"How did you find me?" I asked. That wasn't quite a change of subject, but it would take the focus away from me a little.

"Traced your phone call." Ranger said and put his index finger under my chin to lift up my face and force me to meet his eyes.

"You did good. You just dropped the receiver, you didn't sever the connection. We were able to find you from there."

I took a step back to free myself from Ranger's touch. His behavior from the night before still stung, even though I knew he'd done the right thing. I'd regret it if he'd taken me up on it, but it still hurt that he'd rejected me. And then there was the embarrassment.

"Let's talk." Ranger said and took my elbow, leading me over to the living room. I still avoided his eyes when I sat down on the couch. He took the seat next to me and turned to face me.

"Babe, you have to get over what happened last night." Ranger started.

I opened my mouth to argue, but he put his had up in the universal 'stop' gesture. "I mean what happened here." He nodded in the direction of the kitchen. "Forget that."

I nodded slowly. That was easy for him to say. He hadn't made an ass out of himself.

"Okay," he said, "I'll start. I got to the hotel too late. No one had seen you leave and all your stuff was there." Ranger was scratching his chin as he was talking, the only indication of the emotions he was feeling. For a second, I got a glimpse of the desperation he must have felt. Or maybe I was imagining things again.

Ranger shook his head slightly as if to clear it before he continued. "The security cameras had caught you a couple times by yourself and after we went over hours of tapes, we finally figured out you were in a laundry cart…" He took my hand in his "But we lost you after he left the parking lot with you in the trunk." I could have sworn his voice was breaking at that last part.

I nodded again. What was there to say? He'd been too late because I'd called him too late.

"I get why you had to do it your way, Babe." He said and for the first time, I looked up. His eyes were soft and I could feel his sincerity. I squeezed his hand.

"Thank you." I almost whispered. For some reason I'd thought he'd be mad at me for running away.

"It was stupid, but I understand." He said. I couldn't argue with that, I had acted foolishly.

"I'm sorry." I said and new tears were threatening to come up.

"Don't be." Ranger said and put his free arm around my shoulder, pulling me close. I didn't resist, it felt too good to lean against him. The earlier awkwardness was gone.

He stroked my hair when he continued. "I thought I'd lost you. I don't do scared, Babe."

"You were scared for me?" I asked.

"I said I don't do scared." He said and I could feel him smile against my head. Had Batman just admitted to feelings? Probably he was just trying to amuse me. It worked, I had to smile.

"I had three teams looking for you, we combed the entire Atlantic City area. It was like you had vanished into thin air." I could imagine what it must have been like, I'd felt like I'd been taken into a different dimension myself.

"We traced your call, but it took us a few hours to get to you. When we found the house empty I thought we were too late again."

I was holding my breath. This was the first time Ranger was opening up to me. He'd picked an odd time, but I wasn't about to complain.

"But you found me." I said. That was really all that mattered.

"Yeah," Ranger said and pulled me closer, "I found you." He planted a kiss into my hair.

Now his words were sinking in and I pulled back to look up into his face. "There wasn't anyone at the house? You didn't find Teddy?" I was almost shrieking now. I was panicking, thinking Teddy would walk through the door at any moment.

Ranger pulled me back down, I hadn't even noticed I'd jumped up. "You're safe here, Babe."

He was right, of course, and I knew it. Somehow I'd thought Teddy was locked up, unable to harm me. Or better yet, dead.

"Tell me about him." Ranger said.

"His name is Teddy. So maybe Robert? I didn't ask. No last name." Ranger was stroking my back to encourage me and I was slowly calming down.

"Can you describe him?" Ranger asked. I could, but I didn't want to. I'd have to envision him to describe him, and I was trying so hard to forget the image of him.

I took a shaky breath. "Whatever you want to share, Babe." Ranger said. He was trying not to push me, but he needed to know. I was trying to distance myself, tried to give the objective details.

"He's an orderly at St. Francis. He said he didn't care if he was fired, so they could check who hasn't shown up for work and probably they have his work record."

Ranger nodded, I could already see the wheels in his head in motion.

"And he has an accomplice," I added, "Someone else was driving the car. I didn't see the guy, but there were two of them."

Ranger got up, his face once again expressionless. "I'm gonna look into it. I need you to stay here, Babe. I can't be out there looking for the guy if I have to worry about you."

"You're worried about me?" I teased. I was trying to be light and funny, although I was feeling the exact opposite.

"It's okay, Babe." Ranger said, tucking a stray curl behind my ear. "You don't need to pretend everything's alright. I wish I could stay here with you."

Before I knew what I was doing, I jumped up and hugged him tight, pressing my face against his chest. Ranger hugged me back before he gently pushed me away to look at me. He traced my jaw bone with his finger.

"I meant it. You know you're safe here. Can I trust you to stay put?"  
Ranger was asking? This was a first. I nodded, at a loss for words.

He smiled and hugged me again. "I'll call as soon as I find out anything." He promised and pushed me back onto the couch.

"You just relax, try to get some rest, get your mind…just try not to think about it." He said. He kissed my forehead and draped a blanket over me. Before he left, he pressed the remote into my hands.

I leaned back, suddenly exhausted. Telling Ranger had been easier than I'd thought. And he'd made me feel more comfortable about the kitchen incident. But the talk and the memories of Teddy it had brought back had taken a lot out of me.

I trusted Ranger to call me when he found out anything. He wouldn't take down Teddy without telling me about it. He'd told me to relax and let him do the work.

Exactly what I didn't want, but I was in pain and too exhausted to object at the moment.

I knew I was dreaming, but that didn't make it any less real for me. I was back in the house with Teddy, only I was tied up again and he was leering over me.

I tried to wriggle free, to inch back as far as possible when he was reaching for me. His hand got closer and closer, and I was out of room.

"Stephanie," he said "Stop fighting us. You know you belong to me."

I felt the ropes around my wrists and ankles tighten and I couldn't get enough air into my lungs.

"This is the way it's meant to be. We'll be together forever, Angel." And then he did touch me and I screamed.

He grabbed my shoulder and I just couldn't stop screaming. "Babe," he said. Then he almost yelled "Babe!!".

My eyes fluttered open and I saw Ranger. I gasped and tried to fill my lungs with air. Ranger was holding on to my shoulders. When he saw I was awake, he pulled me closer.

"It's okay. You're awake now, it was just a dream, shhh. Shhhh." He soothed. I still tried to grasp what was dream and what was reality while getting my breathing down to normal. I hardly noticed I was crying again, the image of the dream was still with me. I clung to Ranger like a drowning swimmer.

Finally I remembered where I was, _when_ I was, and I relaxed a little. I cleared my throat and straightened my shoulders. Ranger released me, but kept his hands on my arms as if to anchor me.

I sent him a small smile to assure him I was fine. "Bad dream." I croaked.

"No kiddin'" Ranger smiled back. He was still watching me as if he didn't believe I'd recovered.

"What time is it?" I asked to convince him. If I was asking questions, I was back in the now, right?

The corner of his mouth quirked up a quarter of an inch more, he was seeing right through my little charade. "It's about 3:30. I just got back from the control room to check on you."

I was wide awake now. "Did you find him?"

"You tell me." Ranger said and reached for a folder he'd put on the coffee table. "Are you ready for this? There's a picture…"

I took a deep breath and nodded, reaching for the folder. As ready as I would ever be, I figured.

Ranger watched me closely as I opened the file. I gasped as I stared right into Teddy's eyes, but I managed to hold on to the sheet of paper.

"Robert J. Gardner." I read out loud. "That's him." I closed the folder and handed it back to Ranger, taking another breath to calm my nerves. There was going to be a time and place to break down, I reminded myself, here and now wasn't it.

Ranger looked at me as if he didn't quite believe I was going to stay calm.

"You okay?" He asked, touching my arm. I covered his hand with mine and nodded. "I'm fine."

I managed a smile. "Did you get him?" Part of me wanted him locked up, but another part wanted to shot him myself and watch him scream in agony. I couldn't make up my mind which I preferred.

Ranger shook his head slightly. "Not yet. We know he's not at home or at work."

I'd expected as much. Teddy wouldn't go where he could easily be found.

"So what are our next steps?"

Ranger raised an eyebrow. "You sure you're up for this, Babe?"

"He killed Joe." I said. Ranger didn't look surprised, although I hadn't told him what Teddy'd shared. The only thing I'd shared with Ranger before I was kidnapped were the creepy phone calls.

"You knew?" I asked, my voice rising again. Had he known all along?

"The cops still don't have a suspect," Ranger said, "So he seemed a likely candidate. But I didn't know until you just told me." Somehow he knew what I'd been thinking again. I relaxed a little.

"I want to be part of this, Ranger. I have to be. For Joe."

Ranger sighed but didn't object. Probably he knew he couldn't change my mind. I'd learned I couldn't do it on my own, but there was no way he'd keep me out of the hunt.

I crossed my arms over my chest to show him my mind was made up. Ranger smiled and shook his head again.

A knock on the door made me jump and Ranger immediately put his arm around me.

"It's Ella," He said, "I thought you'd be hungry."

That was an understatement, I was famished. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd eaten. Whether Ranger'd tipped her off or Ella'd known herself, she'd cooked some of my favorites. There was fried chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy. Some peas for color, but otherwise, not a healthy bite in sight. The only concession to Ranger was the missing dessert. I could live with that.

I smiled at her as I thanked her, and Ella rubbed my arm when she returned my smile.

Ranger looked at the food on the dining table and looked like he was close to rolling his eyes, but he didn't say anything.

It seemed like the first time in weeks I could enjoy a meal, and I dug in with gusto.

I leaned back when I'd eaten every scrap on my plate. "I needed that." I said.

"Now what?" I asked, looking up at Ranger who'd barely touched his food. He was smiling. "What's the plan?"

Ranger hesitated, probably trying to decide if he was going to let me in.

"You have a plan, right?" I prodded.

He nodded slowly. "I have a car in front of his house and one in the house he kept you."

"We have a meeting in 45 minutes to work out the rest. Are you sure you want to be part of this?"

I appreciated he was giving me another chance to stay out of it, but that wasn't an option for me.

"I'm sure." I confirmed. The sooner it was going to be over, the better. And I would do whatever I could to bring the asshole down.

"Probably he's looking for me…" I said slowly.

"Don't even think about it." Ranger cut me off, knowing exactly where I was going. He'd agreed to the idea of me being bait before Teddy'd kidnapped me; I thought it was worth a shot again.

"You said…" Ranger raised his hand again before I could go further.

"Things have changed." Ranger said simply. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Just because Teddy was a step ahead of us! He isn't any more!"

"Babe." Ranger said.

I grunted in frustration. How did he think he would lure Teddy out without me as bait?

"What's your plan then? You think he's gonna come out looking…." I gasped. I had an idea.

Ranger raised an eyebrow, not being able to read my reaction for a moment.

"He's…you are…if you and I…" I was stammering. The idea was still forming in my head; I couldn't share it in a way Ranger could understand.

"Calm down. I'm not following." Ranger said. He'd gotten up and was squatting next to my chair so we were at eye level.

I took a deep breath trying to sort out the thoughts in my head.

"He killed Joe to get to me."

Ranger nodded.

"I mean, to get Joe out of the way. His goal was to make me his." I continued. I could see Ranger was catching on to my train of thought.

"If I am with you, he'll want to kill _you_." I said. In fact, Teddy'd said as much. He knew about Ranger and I was sure he'd be just as jealous of him as he'd been of Joe.

"What are you saying?" Ranger asked, although I figured he already knew.

"If we're a couple, you can protect me and we'll still lure him out. You'd be his next target, not me."

Ranger stood up, his face unreadable. I followed him back to the living room.

"What do you think?" I asked, taking his elbow to make him turn and face me.

"I think it's a bad idea." He said. My heart sank. "Why?"

"One, I can't protect you effectively in public. Two, we'd have pretend to be a couple."

I waited for him to explain further, but he didn't offer any more.

"Well, yeah." I replied to his second argument.

"Babe." He said. I rolled my eyes. He was getting on my nerves with that one word, always leaving it up to me to interpret it.

He cupped my face with his hands and looked at me until I'd meet his eyes.

"I can see how the plan would work. But I don't think you're ready for it."

"What?" I tried to pull back, but he held on to me, meeting my gaze.

"The world, or rather, the Burg would see us as a couple." He said. And finally it clicked. Of course. Mental head slap. As usual, Ranger'd thought further ahead than I had. Ranger and I would know it was just pretend, but my mother wouldn't. Mrs. Morelli wouldn't. Everyone who knew me in Trenton wouldn't. For them, it would look like I'd moved on to another man within weeks of Joe's death.

"Oh." I said when I realized I had overlooked the obvious.

"Yeah." Ranger said, releasing me.

I knew my mom would never understand, even if I told her it was just a charade. And I wasn't sure anyone else would. I had a choice, I could insist on following through with my plan and destroy my reputation for good or let Joe's killer go free.

"Do you have a better idea?" I challenged.

"That's what the meeting is about." Ranger said. I sighed. A meeting. Talking. I wanted to go out and do something, not talk about maybe doing something.

Ranger sensed my frustration. "Babe, we need to be prepared this time."

I knew he was right. But I was mentally squirming at the thought of sitting through a meeting. At the same time, I wanted to be part of it, I knew Ranger would be all too willing to take charge and leave me out of it.

"Okay." I said. "I'm gonna get ready and then I'm going to the meeting with you."

Ranger hesitated for the smallest moment before he almost-nodded. It was good enough for me. I pecked him on the cheek and disappeared into the bathroom to freshen up.

We rode the elevator down in silence. Ranger's expression was unreadable again; there was no way to guess what he was thinking. I was sure my emotions were displayed on my face for the world to see. I was nervous as hell. I knew I had to appear together and calm, so that Ranger and his merry men would accept me into the team.

It seemed that every RangeMan employee who wasn't manning the monitors or watching Teddy's known residences was in the meeting. Tank got up and wrapped me into a bear hug when I entered the conference room and he comforted me more with that gesture than he could have known.

Bobby rubbed my shoulder when Tank released me, Lester chucked my chin. They were all smiles. I was glad they didn't offer condolences or pitied me.

Ranger cleared his throat and everybody found a seat around the conference table, I ended up sitting between Ranger and Tank.

"Here's what we know," Ranger said. His voice was all business, no emotions. He was still sitting, but he clearly owned the room, all eyes were on him.

"Perp's name is Robert Gardner. 29 years old, 5'5", brown hair, hazel eyes. As of two days ago worked as an orderly at St. Francis hospital here in Trenton."

Everyone had a copy of the rap sheet Ranger had shown me earlier in front of them, but Ranger was summing it up anyway.

"Known two addresses are 125 Eaton Place, Apartment 13 in Trenton and 39 Wicker Road in Shiloh. Two teams were placed at the addresses at 0600 this morning. No sightings so far."

"Do we have Intel on friends and family?" Tank asked.

"Negative so far." Ranger answered. I felt like I'd walked into a military debriefing. The tone was so professional, void of all emotions. And for some reason, it made me feel confident. They would focus on nothing but the goal until it was reached. Whatever it took. I glanced from Ranger to Tank and the rest of the Merry Men. All had determined expressions, ready to rumble.

"Bobby?" Ranger turned the floor over to Bobby.

"Background check revealed nothing out of the ordinary. No police record. No car. A few credit cards, no arrest, no mortgage. Born in Newark, parents deceased. A brother in the Army, currently in Afghanistan. No marriage license." He checked his notes as he was talking. "He's a high school drop-out, been working a number of jobs in various fields, has been working at St. Francis for about 8 months. Still waiting on the in-depth report to come back." He looked up to signal his report was finished.

"Thank you." Ranger said curtly and glanced at Lester.

"No report from either surveillance team as of," Lester checked his watch, "0445."

Ranger nodded almost imperceptibly and wrote something down on his paper. "Okay," he said, "Brainstorm. What's our next move?"

"Focus on known contacts once the report comes back." Tank suggested. Ranger made more notes.

"Keep surveillance in place. He doesn't seem to have enough resources to keep up several residences." Lester threw in.

"Get me out on the street as bait." I blurted out before I could stop myself.

"No." Tank, Lester and Bobby said in unison. Hal and Junior just shook their heads. I scoffed and crossed my arms over my chest. Ranger just looked at me and I met his eyes, daring him to say 'I told you so'.

"I have yet to hear a good idea from any of you." I challenged. Maybe I'd been too hasty in letting Ranger take over. So far they'd suggested sitting and waiting. Two things I don't do well.

"Babe." Ranger said. I noticed all eyes were on me. My tone may have been a little too aggressive.

"What?" I couldn't help myself. I'd wanted to give it time and hear the experts out, but other than some personal information on Teddy, they didn't know any more than I did, they needed me.

"These things take time." Ranger explained.

"How much time?" I asked.

Ranger shook his head slightly. "Enough time to do it right. You saw what happens if you rush it."

Okay, he'd put me into my place. I sent him a death glare and made myself take a deep breath before I said anything I'd regret later.

"Well, I don't think we have time." I said, making up the words as I was speaking. "He could be in New York by now, or the Bahamas. The only thing we know for sure is that he wants _me_."

"Too dangerous." Lester said. "Okay, Santos," I said sweetly, "Why don't you give us _your_ plan then?"

I could feel Ranger tense next to me. Probably he wasn't used to anyone else leading his meetings.

"Steph's got a point." Tank spoke up. I sent him a grateful look; I'd almost thought no one would be on my side in this meeting. "I say we continue the surveillance, follow up on the reports and do some proactive work as well. We got the numbers to multi-task."

Ranger nodded, making more notes.

"Let me get back to my apartment." I suggested, "I'm not gonna go out by myself or anything like that, but let him see I'm going back home." I looked around the room to read the expressions. Lester was shaking his head, but Ranger and Tank looked like they were thinking about it.

A knock on the door interrupted us and I almost jumped again. I hadn't even realized how tensed I was. All heads turned towards the door. Hal stuck his head in. "Sorry, Boss. Trouble in A14."

Immediately, Tank and Bobby got up and followed Hal out the door.

"Guess that means the meeting's adjourned?" I asked. Ranger nodded slightly in response and gathered up his notes. I knew there was no sense in asking what A14 stood for. Probably one of RangeMan's many projects.

"Let's talk upstairs." Ranger said and got up. Lester shot me a reassuring smile and left. I slowly followed Ranger to the elevators, not sure if I wanted to hear what he had to say.

I leaned against the elevator's wall and closed my eyes. I had to hold on to the railing to anchor myself, I still had the spinning sensation and my headache had never quite gone away. When I opened my eyes again, Ranger's eyes were on me, as if he was waiting for me to speak.

I waved my hand dismissively. "Just tired." I said. Ranger didn't blink, and I could clearly read the look in his eyes. 'Yeah, right' it said. It wasn't easy to fool Batman.

Ranger keyed the door to his apartment open and threw his keys in the dish on the sideboard before he turned to face me.

"Do you want to tell me your whole plan?" He asked. I nodded. "If you're willing to listen."

"Fair enough." He said and gestured for me to have a seat in the living room. He went into the kitchen and I heard some cabinet doors open and close before I sat down on the couch. I leaned back into the cushions and closed my eyes.

I felt Ranger sit down next to me. He was pressing a bottle of water into my hands and when I opened my eyes, he offered some pills as well. I took the water and the Advil gratefully.

"Are you sure you don't want to see a doctor?" He asked. I could see the concern in his face and I smiled. "I just need some rest. Real sleep. But I doubt I'll be able to relax until this is over."

I swallowed the pills and leaned back again.

"So you're sure you want to be bait?" Ranger asked. Oh right, the plan I was supposed to share with him. Problem was, I didn't really have a plan, I was making it up as I went.

"I want this to be over." I repeated. Ranger nodded and took a sip from his own water.

"Assuming he hasn't left Trenton, it could work." He said. I sat up straight. Ranger was considering my suggestion? Either he was desperate or my idea was brilliant.

"Did you by any chance get my purse out of the hotel room?" I asked when a thought hit me. Teddy'd called me before he kidnapped me, he might try again. Ranger seemed to be having the same thought; he knew what I was getting at. "It's downstairs, we retrieved it along with your other stuff."

He was already up and dialing the control room on the intercom before I could ask him to. Probably Teddy didn't know where I was at the moment. And if he did, he may assume I was licking my wounds in Ranger's arms. Both possibilities could work to my advantage if he hadn't given up on me. I had a feeling if his obsession for me was so strong he was willing to kill for it, it wouldn't just go away.

Twenty minutes later, I was hooking my cell phone up to the charger and I was dialing my voicemail from Ranger's phone. "You have 31 new voicemail messages" the automatic operator told me. Now I remembered I hadn't bothered to check my messages in over a week. Since there was no telling who'd left a message, I had to listen to them all.

"Girlfriend!" I heard Lula's cheery voice on the first message, left the day before Joe's death. I deleted it without listening to it, whatever it was, it was no longer important.

"Cupcake, it's me," Joe said. I didn't even noticed how I just collapsed onto the floor; I must have fallen like a sack of potatoes. Joe'd called the morning he was shot. "I'm on my way to follow up on an informant's call, I might be a little late after all. But I meant it, stay in bed, I'll bring the food."

I was cradling the phone to my ear when Ranger's feet came into my line of vision and I realized I was lying on the floor.

Ranger picked me up and carried me over to the couch. I wanted to tell him I was fine, but I couldn't speak. Everything came rushing back and the little healing I'd managed to do over the past few days was wiped out by the sound of Joe's voice.

TBC

A/N: What do you think?


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you for waiting patiently, this chapter ended up taking me longer than I thought. Thank you for all your feedback, you guys are the best. I hope you like.

Please let me know what you think, your reviews mean the world to me!

Merci beaucoup Stayce, it just wouldn't work without you!

I borrowed the title from Bon Jovi, not from the story, but I do think it fits

Disclaimer: The usual, I don't own anything, it's all JE's. Well, the plot is mine, but since I'm stealing the characters, I'm SOL. And I'm just assuming that you've read all the books, but if you haven't there may be spoilers.

Rating: R for adult language and situations. They're all adults and they talk and act like it…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 10

**I** hardly noticed Ranger prying the phone from my hand once I was lying on the couch. I was having the out-of-body experience again, I could see and hear Ranger, but I couldn't talk to him and his touch didn't register.

"It's okay," he said, "it's gonna be fine, Babe." Probably he was talking to me.

I heard strange whimpering noises and didn't even realize I was the one making them at first.

Ranger lifted me up and placed me in his lap as he sat down. He was rocking me gently and whispering to me. I heard the words but could not understand them; I wasn't even able to determine whether they were Spanish or English.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Ranger asked after a long while, I had no idea how he knew exactly when I was able to understand him again.

"What happened?" I asked. My brain was still playing catch-up; I couldn't remember how I ended up on Ranger's lap.

"You were on the phone," Ranger said and pushed a strand of hair out of my face, "Do you remember calling anyone?" His voice was completely calm, his eyes searching mine.

Slowly, painfully, the memory came back. Joe's message. The voicemail he left the morning he had died.

"Babe?" Ranger's voice brought me back into the present. I was staring straight ahead without seeing anything, my eyes filling with tears. I turned my head slowly to face Ranger; I was still trying to form words and force them out of my mouth.

"It's…there was a…Joe…" I stuttered. Ranger waited patiently, stroking my back to encourage me. I tried to take a deep breath, but that didn't help. Joe's face kept looming up in front of me.

Ranger put his hand on the back of my neck and gently pushed me forward, so that my head was resting on his shoulder. I could feel his body heat and hear his heart beat. It calmed me more than any words could have done.

At some point, I closed my eyes and just concentrated on breathing. Ranger was kneading my shoulder, working out the tension.

Finally, I lifted my head and met Ranger's eyes. I took a deep breath and pulled back, slipping off Ranger's lap.

"I'm sorry. I'm okay now." I said and moved to get up, but Ranger caught my wrist.

"Okay enough to tell me what happened?" He asked. I sighed. I needed to tell him so that he wouldn't think it was a new message from Teddy that had freaked me out, but I didn't know if I could get the words out without crying. I studied my feet for a moment, standing in front of Ranger. He didn't push me; this man's patience seemed endless.

"It...there was a message from Joe on my phone." I said. Ranger released my wrist immediately and stood up.

"I'm sorry, Babe." He said softly. I nodded and sniffled. "Sorry I lost it…it just…it took me by surprise."

"Don't apologize, Babe." Ranger said and pulled me into a hug. "No one expects you to be over it."

"I thought I was getting better." I admitted, my cheek against Ranger's shirt. He ran his fingers through my hair. "You are. It just takes time," he said.

I sighed again and Ranger hugged me a little tighter. "I think you're doing great, Babe. You're strong."

Even though I didn't feel strong, it was good to hear from Ranger that he thought I was. His faith in me was keeping me sane.

"Do you want to tell me what he said?" Ranger asked softly, his mouth near my ear. I realized he was wondering if Joe had left any clues that might help us. I shook my head slightly "Nothing that…" I had to swallow to keep from sobbing, "No clues or anything."

I felt Ranger nod against my head and then he planted a kiss on my hair. I wanted to stay like this forever. Standing so close to Ranger, it seemed nothing could hurt me, ever.

Ranger's pager buzzed on his tool belt and the moment was over. He cursed colorfully and pulled back to check the readout.

I slumped back onto the couch, feeling a little more like myself. My cell phone was on the coffee table where Ranger had put it. I realized I'd never gotten to check the rest of my 30-odd messages, but I couldn't' bring myself to pick it back up. Ranger followed my gaze and picked up my phone.

"That was the control room. I'm gonna check on it. Do you mind if I listen to the message myself? Want me to check your other messages, Babe?" I smiled up at him gratefully and nodded. "Thank you." I said. Ranger did his almost-nod and pocketed my phone. Then he picked up his own and punched in a number.

"Talk." He said. After listening for less than a minute, he shut his phone and looked at me. "There's movement at Gardner's house." He said. I jumped up.

"He's there?" Ranger shook his head slightly. "No, another guy is. Cal and Junior are on it."

"Are we going?" I asked, suddenly excited at the thought of action.

"Cal and Junior are on it." Ranger repeated calmly and pushed me back onto the couch. "I think you've had enough excitement for one day. They're gonna keep us updated." I could tell by his tone of voice that it wasn't worth arguing.

"I'll be in my study for a bit to check your messages, then I'll be back. You're okay?"

I nodded and sent him a reassuring smile. "I'm fine." I said for the umpteenth time. Maybe if I said it often enough, I'd believe it.

I was grateful Ranger was listening to my voicemail. My mom's messages would make me feel guilty and there was a chance there were more messages from Joe. And I wasn't sure I could handle hearing Teddy's voice just yet, maybe he'd called, too. Ranger was able to hear all those voices with professional detachment; probably they didn't affect him at all.

I wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. What I really wanted was a beer, but I knew that was a bad idea in my current state. My headache was only just starting to retreat and I had enough painkillers in me to kill a small animal.

I could hear Ranger rummaging in his office just off the living room. It was past 6 PM and dark outside. I wandered around the apartment aimlessly, distracting myself with random thoughts, like why there weren't any pictures on the walls and where the real bat cave was. My mind was all too willing occupy itself with trivial questions rather than facing life-or-death decisions.

"Deep thoughts, babe?" Ranger's voice startled me, I hadn't heard him approach. I was standing at the window, looking out into the night, and I flinched at the sound of his voice.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He said softly and squeezed my shoulder from behind me. I turned around and smiled to show him he hadn't done any harm. "It's okay. I just didn't hear you."

He put his arm around me and we looked out the window together for a minute, both lost in our thoughts.

"Any update?" I asked when the silence between us had stretched on for too long.

"They're following a car. Whoever entered the house had a key, maybe he was there to pick up some stuff for Gardner and is taking it to him." Ranger said.

I had a flashback to my first failure-to-appear, my first case as a bounty hunter: Joe. By sheer coincidence I'd been parked outside Joe's apartment building when his cousin Mooch appeared, and Mooch had led me straight to Joe. I excused myself when I felt the tears sting again, I did not want to break down in front of Ranger again. I made it to the bathroom just in time and sat down on the toilet.

As I was sniffling into my bunched up toilet paper I was wondering if this would happen for the rest of my life. How many times a day would I be reminded of Joe, of something he did or said. I was going to continue living in Trenton; I would go to places I'd gone to with Joe. Would I break down and cry every time something reminded me of him? I sighed and decided I was not in the mood to think about it, once I gave myself permission to break down and mope, I would wonder about how long the thought of Joe would make me cry, not now.

A soft knock on the door brought my focus back to the here and now.

"Babe?" Ranger asked. I knew he just wanted to know if I was okay, but all I wanted was to be alone for a minute. "I'll be right out." I said, hoping that would satisfy him.

"You've been in there for an hour, is everything okay?" Oh, now it made sense that he was worried. I'd completely lost track of time.

Before I could answer, Ranger opened the door. Damn, I'd forgotten to lock it. He took one look at me, crossed the room in three strides and picked me up to carry me over to his bed. I must have looked pretty pitiful.

"I can walk." I protested weakly as he tucked me in. "I know." He said.

He turned to go but I grabbed his hand. "Stay with me." A minute ago, I couldn't wait to be alone, now the thought scared me. Ranger looked like he had an inner debate before he lay down on the covers and gathered me up in his arms. I relaxed completely. Crying had worn me out, I was exhausted, and I fell asleep within minutes.

When I woke up, I was alone in the bed and sunlight filtered in through the blinds. I'd slept through the night without waking up once! I felt better physically, my headache was just a low hum anymore and my leg burned less. All the other cuts were healing nicely. So at least physically, I was getting better. My emotions were a whole other issue. Hearing Joe's voice had unhinged me.

The bedside alarm clock told me it was 7 AM and my rumbling stomach told me I'd missed dinner. I got up and padded over to the bathroom. A new stack of clothes had been laid out for me. I looked at my rumpled self in the mirror. My hair looked like it had taken 2000 volts, and since I'd slept in my clothes, everything was wrinkled. My eyes were puffy and bloodshot. In short, I was a mess.

I stripped and turned on the shower. After a half hour of the massage stream on my sore muscles, I felt a lot better. I styled my hair the best way possible and gave myself another look in the mirror. Although the cuts and bruises didn't hurt too badly anymore, I was still a scary sight, so I dressed quickly. Ella knew my size, and doubt that she was the one who laid out the underwear, sock, jeans and sweatshirt for me.

Coffee aroma greeted me when I stepped out of the bedroom into the dining room, and Ranger looked up from a stack of papers.

"Morning, Babe. How're you feeling today?" He asked.

I flashed him a genuine smile. "A lot better. Thanks to you. No nightmares last night."

"That's good." He said and returned to his papers when I passed him to get myself some coffee.

"So what's new?" I asked when I joined him at the dining table. I helped myself to a bagel from the basket and sat down. "Did Cal and Junior ever call back?"

Ranger looked up. "I would have gotten you up in a few minutes. We have a meeting at 0800 to hear all the details." He said. His hair was still damp from the shower, and he was dressed in his usual black t-shirt and cargo pants.

"Any messages from him on my mailbox?" Ranger just shook his head slightly. "How many from my mom?"

Ranger's lip quirked up in a half-smile. "About ten. I hope you don't mind, I called her to let her know you're alright and staying with me."

I almost choked on my coffee. "You told her I was staying _with_ you?" Now Ranger was actually smiling. "No, I told her you were staying at RangeMan, I didn't tell her you were sleeping in my bed." I let out the breath I was holding.

"Thank you for staying last night." I said, swallowing hard to keep my voice steady.

He just nodded, sorted his papers into a loose pile, picked up his coffee and looked at me as he was taking a sip. "You sure you're up for this?"

I knew what he meant. How many times was he going to ask me? Yes, already! I bit my tongue to keep the snippiness in. "I am. Sure and up for it." I said as I buttered my bagel. Ranger's eyes didn't leave mine. "If you're sure…" He finally said and took another sip from his coffee.

By the time I finished breakfast it was time to go. Ella had found a pair of CAT boots in my size and had put them in the foyer. I was glad I didn't have to wear my ratty sneakers again.

Ranger and I rode the elevator down in silence, but I could feel his eyes on me, monitoring me. I sent him a reassuring smile.

The Merry Men were already assembled in the conference room when we arrived.

Tank got up and hugged me again, and I couldn't help but wonder if Ranger had told him about my breakdown the night before. Lester smiled at me, Cal and Junior nodded. I took my seat between Tank and Ranger again.

Ranger looked at Cal and Cal cleared his throat. "At 1745 last night, we witnessed an individual entering the perp's apartment," He glanced at his notes, "Suspect's name it Martin Ashton, no relation to the perp. We followed him as he left, but he drove to his residence on 23 Lincoln. A team is in place to monitor that apartment."

I sighed. I didn't know what I had expected, whether I'd wanted them to find Teddy or not.

"Team Beta took over at the perp's apartment at 0600 and their last sitrep was NTP."

Tank leaned over to me and whispered "Nothing to report." I smiled at him gratefully. I wasn't quite familiar with military speak.

Cal looked at Ranger to signal he was done. Ranger looked at his notes. "The victim left two messages on Steph's cell phone." He said and my eyes got wide. Two? Joe had called twice?? Why hadn't Ranger told me? Ranger looked at me and I got the silent message that he would tell me later. "Both coincide with the timeline. The perp hasn't made contact since we found Steph."

Tank was next. "We got the in-depth search results back, but there was nothing out of the ordinary there either. This guy's a regular Joe." I sucked in some air at that and Tank immediately looked guilt. "I'm sorry, Steph, I wasn't thinking!" He put his hand on mine and I was still taking deep breaths. 'Get a grip!' I told myself, 'It's a saying for Christ's sake!'. "It's okay." I said and sent him a shaky smile. When I glanced at Ranger, he looked like Tank hadn't heard the end of it yet, but he didn't say anything.

Tank cleared his throat and finished up with "Nothing to report on the perp, as far as his background check is concerned."

Ranger gave Tank a dirty look and took over. "Where do we stand proactively?" He asked.

"Well, Steph's suggestion…" Tank started but Ranger cut him off. "Other than that."

"Boss, it's pretty much all we got." Tank said. Ha, I knew it. They needed me. I turned to face Ranger. His expression was unreadable.

"We can plan this to be foolproof." Lester suggested. It went back and forth for a few minutes, but I could sense Ranger was warming up to the idea.

He was quiet for a minute and when he sighed, I knew my idea had won.

"I'm going back to my apartment tomorrow." I announced. Ranger nodded. "And I'll pick you up the day after tomorrow." My eyebrows shot up to my hairline. "We're going on a public trip to get some privacy." He explained. I still wasn't getting it. "Come again?" I asked.

"You'll go back to your apartment tomorrow, hopefully long enough for Gardner to spot you. Then I pick you up to take you on a mini-vacation to a location we can control better."

Oh, okay. For a moment I'd thought Ranger had already changed his mind.

We spent the next half hour fleshing out the plan. I would be watched around the clock, in addition to wearing a wire and a GPS tracker. I didn't object, I had no desire to be abducted again.

"Just one more question…" I said when the meeting was about to wrap up. Ranger motioned for me to go on. "Is this a romantic getaway we're going on?"

Ranger nodded. "Like you suggested, two birds with one stone. I think we can push all his buttons when I appear to be your new boyfriend."

"But you said…" I tried to interrupt, but Ranger held up his hand. "That's another reason for leaving Trenton for this little game. We're not going far, but hopefully far enough to leave the Burg behind."

I was amazed at how Ranger had thought everything through so fast.

The next meeting was scheduled for 3:30 PM where everyone would get their assignments and the timelines would be set. I pushed my chair back and stood, feeling relieved. We'd be doing something! With any luck, we'd get Teddy to come out of hiding and get the son of a bitch, one way or another.

"Whatever you're thinking of, I hope it's not me," Ranger said into my thoughts, "That's about the most evil grin I've ever seen." He let his index finger touch my lips to emphasize his point.

"No, I was thinking of the takedown." I admitted. He nodded and led me out the door to the elevator. "I hope it ends up being the way you envision." He said on a smile.

"It's probably as good a time as any to call you parents." Ranger suggested when we got back to the apartment. "I told your mom you'd call as soon as possible." I rolled my eyes but knew I had to get it over with. I didn't want my family to worry unnecessarily.

Ranger went into his study to work and I took a deep breath and called my mom.

"Stephanie Plum, it's about time you called! Don't you know I'm losing my mind worrying about you? What were you thinking?" Mom started before I had a chance to even say hello. I could feel my eye starting to twitch already. "I'm fine, mom, it's just been a very hectic couple days."

"So Ranger said. But that's no excuse to not at least check in. Mabel Carini never has to wait for her daughter to call, and she sees her more than once in a while, too." I rolled my eyes. Obviously my mom had decided that my life had to go on, and my time to grieve was over. I declined her dinner invitation and promised I'd call more often before I hung up. Thank goodness she didn't bring up my living arrangements with Ranger.

I called my best friend Mary Lou next because I hadn't checked in with her in a while either. She still had the tone in her voice that sounded like she wanted to tell me how sorry she was, but at least she didn't say it. Before we disconnected, she told me to call her anytime if I needed to talk. I promised her I would make some time for us to get together soon and made a mental note to call her for my scheduled breakdown when all this was over.

Lula was next on my list and, as expected she almost screamed my ear off when she heard it was me, scolded me for not updating her earlier and made me promise to call her again soon. Yeesh. I'd be on the phone nonstop if I fulfilled all my promises. But it felt good to hear Mare and Lula's voices; I realized how much I missed them in the past few days. My only contact had been with Ranger, I was missing my girlfriends.

Since Ranger still had my cell phone, I was making the calls on his. I still had to ask him about the second call from Joe, but I wasn't sure I could handle it. I'd been good all through the meeting, but I didn't know how much longer it would last.

When all my calls were done, I got myself a bottle of water and some Advil from the kitchen and sat down on the couch in the living room. I didn't want to interrupt Ranger's work. I figured he was losing money by helping me and dedicating so many resources to it, the least I could do was not disturb him.

I switched on the TV and surfed around until I decided on watching mindless cartoons. Ranger joined me an hour later and just raised an eyebrow when he saw what was on.

"Let's go get some lunch before you get cabin fever." He said and winked at me. I liked the idea. This morning's bagel hadn't lasted me long. I snuck into the bathroom to check my hair and reapply my make-up. Now that I had my purse back, I had all the supplies I needed and I could double-up on the mascara for confidence.

Ranger took me to Pino's in his black Porsche. I appreciated the effort, he knew I loved both.

The lunch crowd hadn't arrived yet, so we didn't have to wait for a table. While we were waiting for our pizza to arrive, I toasted Ranger with my Coke. "Thank you. I needed this." I said.

Ranger smiled and raised his own glass. "I know." He said.

The pizza was good and greasy, and because Ranger's body is more of a temple than mine, he only ate two pieces and I had the rest. He shook his head slightly when I was eyeing the last slice. "Good to see your appetite is back." He said and smiled.

Carl Costanza and Big Dog were having their lunch at Pino's, too. They came over to our table and took a moment to make sure I was okay. I had tears in my eyes when Carl hugged me and told me to call him any time, day or night, but I managed to smile at him gratefully.

"Take care, Steph." Big Dog said and they left.

When we left the restaurant, Ranger made sure he held the door for me, and he opened the car's passenger door for me as well. I knew what he was doing; he had already started to put the plan into action. I couldn't tell by watching him, but I knew he was 'looking over his shoulder', so to speak, completely aware of everyone around us, ready to pounce if Teddy would show up.

Ranger drove over to Hamilton and when he parked in front of the office, I turned to him curiously. "Are we picking up files? Does Vinnie have any skips for us?" I was excited at the idea of distraction. Ranger chuckled silently and turned to face me. The look in his eyes was easy to read, 'Yeah, right' it said.

"Just thought you might wanna say hi." He said and left the car, only to appear at my side 30 seconds later and again open the door for me. He was making us very visible, but because we were still in the Burg, he didn't touch me. At least I thought that was the reason.

Again he'd been right. It was like medicine to see Lula and Connie. I was hugged and squeezed, ushered onto the couch and given a donut. For once, neither Lula nor Connie spared Ranger a look.

"How're you holdin' up, girlfriend?" Lula wanted to know. I had to smile; she'd talked to me over the phone a couple hours ago, now she still needed to know in person.

I told them the truth, that I still wasn't feeling well. I didn't go into detail about my physical pain; I didn't want them to know anything about Teddy because I didn't want to endanger them. If Lula knew I was in trouble, she would probably have insisted on helping me. Probably Tank would tell her afterwards, and then I'd fess up. But until then, the fewer people who knew, the better, I decided.

It felt good to be out again, but after an hour in the office, I was getting tired. Lula and Connie didn't ask once why I'd appeared with Ranger, it seemed to be the most natural thing in the world. I told them I'd be back soon as I said goodbye and gave them a finger wave on my way out.

"We have a couple hours before the meeting," Ranger said when we were back in the car, "Why don't you try to take a nap? I'll wake you in time to get ready." I liked that idea, so when we got back to RangeMan, I went straight to Ranger's bedroom and lay down.

But I couldn't sleep; too many thoughts were racing in my head. Would it work? Was Teddy still in the area, and was he watching me? And if he was, could we catch him this time? What if he managed to trick Ranger the same way he tricked Joe?

I was lying spread-eagled on my back, staring at the ceiling when Ranger knocked on the door. He entered and raised an eyebrow when he saw I wasn't asleep. "Couldn't sleep?" He asked when he sat down on the bed. I shook my head no and sat up.

"Time for the meeting?" I asked, turning to see the alarm clock. It was 3 o'clock. "Almost," Ranger confirmed, "I wanted to give you some time to wake up and get ready." He tucked my hair behind my ear and smiled. "We can do this," He said, "And we'll do it right." He said it with so much confidence that I believed him completely.

I rolled off the bed and went into the bathroom to freshen up. Ranger was waiting for me in the foyer and we took the elevator down together. I sent him a reassuring smile before he could ask me how I was doing and he nodded. With Ranger so confident, I felt like I could do this, too.

The Merry Men joined us in the conference room and we immediately sprang into action. Ranger picked up his notes and read them off. "Tank. You're the Alpha team on this one, sitreps every 30 minutes, emergency response on stand-by." Tank nodded.

"Lester," Ranger continued, "You'll be the Beta team." I didn't know if Tank and Lester would know who their teammates were automatically or if they got to choose them, but I didn't want to interrupt. RangeMan was like a well-oiled machine, and I knew they'd done this sort of thing before.

"Bobby," Ranger was saying, "You're the Charlie team on this one. Get some rest before you're on." Bobby nodded.

"All local teams will stay in place until we have a confirmed sighting." I figured that meant the Merry Men that were watching Teddy's houses.

"At 0800 tomorrow morning, Steph will leave to return to her apartment." Ranger looked at me, but I didn't know if he was asking me or telling me, so again I stayed quiet.

"At 1200 on Thursday, I will pick her up and we will publicly leave for Point Pleasant, Alpha team will follow us, Beta team will meet us there." Everyone nodded. I realized Ranger had come up with the entire plan without consulting me, but since I liked the plan so far, I kept quiet.

"Next meeting via conference call at 1500 tomorrow." Ranger finished up. "Any questions?"

No one spoke up. I had a few questions, but they were questions I wanted to ask Ranger alone. Ranger dismissed everyone and a half hour after we'd left, we were back in his apartment.

"Wow." I said. The whole thing had been a little too fast for me. "Do you always get to business this quickly?" I asked.

Ranger grinned. "Planning is the easy part." He put an arm around my shoulders. "Let's see how well we execute."

When I didn't respond, Ranger put his index finger under my chin and lifted up my head so our eyes met. "Do you have any questions you didn't ask in the meeting?" He asked softly. Where to begin?

"What's a sitrep?"

Ranger threw his head back and laughed, I didn't know what was so funny. He recovered quickly and sent me a brilliant smile. "I'm sorry Babe, that just wasn't a question I thought you'd have. It's a situation report, a play-by-play of what's been going on since the last check-in." He explained. "Anything else?"

"How come you didn't include me in the planning? It felt like you had your mind made up and I didn't get to give any input." I was hoping I didn't sound pissed off, I really only wanted to know the reason. I liked Ranger's plan, I just wanted to be more part of it.

"You don't like it?" Ranger had led us over to the couch and we both sat down.

"No, I like it, I just wanted to…" I didn't know what I had wanted to, I couldn't express it right.

"I'm sorry," Ranger said, "It's what I do. I guess I'm not used to working with a partner. I promise I'll run things by you from now on." And he kissed my cheek. I felt a lot better. I knew how hard it must be for Ranger to share responsibilities, he was so used to just taking charge. I was glad I'd mentioned it, Ranger needed to know I was capable of being a part of the team, not just bait.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Thank you so very much for your feedback, I appreciate you taking the time to review.

Spaciba to Stayce, the subotnik-ing angel. Thanks, Babe!

I borrowed the title from Bon Jovi, not from the story, but I do think it fits

Disclaimer: The usual, I don't own anything, it's all JE's. Well, the plot is mine, but since I'm stealing the characters, I'm SOL. And I'm just assuming that you've read all the books, but if you haven't there may be spoilers.

Rating: R for adult language and situations. They're all adults and they talk and act like it…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 11

I felt a lot better after I was able to tell Ranger what had been bugging me. And Ranger's response had felt sincere, not as if he was just telling me what I wanted to hear.

Ella brought dinner at six on the dot. This time, she hadn't prepared comfort food for me, but the turkey breast and sautéed vegetables were still delicious. She'd even made a chocolate cake for dessert.

I looked up to find Ranger studying me as I was enjoying the cake. I may have moaned when I tasted the first bite and that's what had gotten his attention.

"Glad you're enjoying your dessert." He said and winked. I smiled back. "You should try some." I suggested. Ranger shook his head and chuckled as if I was funny and took another sip from his coffee.

"I have to leave for a client meeting in a bit. Will you be okay on your own for a while?" He asked. I rolled my eyes. "I'm not gonna run away again if that's what you're asking." I said.

"That's not what I was asking." He replied calmly. I felt my ears burn. Why did I have such a hard time accepting his concern? I lowered my eyes and focused on my cake, but I'd suddenly lost my appetite. I got up and gathered the dishes, took them over to the sink and rinsed them. I turned and leaned against the counter.

"I'll be fine," I said, crossing my arms over my chest, "I'm just gonna watch a movie." I was hoping Ranger would accept this as sort of an apology. He didn't move. "What I was asking was if you're okay by yourself and won't get cabin fever if I ask you not to leave." Ranger said. Clearly, he wasn't planning on just letting it go. I looked up, his eyes were still on me. "I know. Yes, I'll be fine. I need a little alone time." So the last part was a little fib, but I knew I was safe in Ranger's apartment; there was nothing to be afraid of.

Ranger nodded and walked over to me. "I should be back in an hour or two." He said softly. "I wouldn't even go, but this was planned a long time ago."

"It's okay, really. I don't expect you to put your life and job on hold because I can't handle…" I broke off when Ranger put his finger on my lips. "You can't make me do anything I don't want to," he said, "So quit feeling guilty." He kissed my forehead and smiled. I felt so choked up, I couldn't even tell him thank you. All I could do was nod. He was putting his life on hold for me; he was there for me 24/7. He was the best friend anyone could ever want.

"You know, if you have energy to burn, you could go to the gym on the fifth floor or to the gun range by the garage." Ranger suggested. The gym and the gun range were just about my least favorite places. "Maybe." I said. Ranger smiled as if he was reading my thoughts again. "Be good." He said and left.

I took my coffee over to the living room and picked a DVD from Ranger's collection.

I chose an 'Indiana Jones' movie because I knew it and loved it, and settled down on the couch.

Because I know the movie by heart I was lulled into sleep halfway through and when I woke up, there was a pillow under my head and a blanket over me. Either Ella had tucked me in when she cleared away the dishes, or Ranger had come back.

I felt too comfortable to get up, so I snuggled in and fell back asleep.

My dream was not a nightmare per se. The fact that I knew I was dreaming didn't make it any easier. I was sitting at the kitchen table in Joe's house, watching him make coffee. It was all so real that I could smell the coffee and could feel Bob's head on my lap. Joe was only wearing his boxer shorts, and they were riding low on his hips. I could see the muscles in his back working with every movement. As if sensing my stare, he turned around and smiled at me. I got up to close the distance between us, but I couldn't move. I tried to lift my foot but it seemed to be glued to the floor. Joe's smile grew sad and then he sort of faded.

I woke up sobbing and clutching the blanket to my chest. Suddenly aware of how alone I was, I padded through the dark apartment, into Ranger's bedroom.

He woke up when I opened the door. "You okay, Babe?" His voice was husky from sleep. I could barely make out his body in the darkness of the room; I just followed the sound of his voice and slumped down next to him. Immediately, he pulled me towards him and I let my tears fall. I didn't have to explain anything; he was just there for me, holding me. His hands were stroking my forearms, going back and forth in a soothing motion, while he whispered into my ear and kissed my hair. The images from the dream were so vivid, every time I remembered them I shivered and new tears welled up.

I don't know for how long I cried, but eventually I fell asleep in Ranger's arms. The rest of the night was dreamless for me and when I woke up, Ranger's arm was draped protectively over my stomach. I sighed and hoped I would learn to sleep peacefully by myself again at some point.

"Feeling better, Babe?" Ranger asked, his mouth close to my ear. It didn't surprise me any more that he knew I was awake the moment I woke up. My reply was a sleepy "Mmmh."

"Go back to sleep," He said softly, "I'm going to the gym and I'll wake you after my shower. We'll have time for breakfast before you head out."

Suddenly I was wide-awake. Today was the day! The first day of our plan. I would go back to my apartment and pretend I was there to stay.

I turned to look at Ranger. "I'm scared." I admitted. I didn't even know what I was scared of exactly, it was an overall feeling.

"It's gonna be okay." Ranger said and pulled me closer to him. "I have your back."

I sighed and put my head on his arm under me. "You promise?"

"I promise, Babe." He said and kissed my nose before he rolled out of bed. Ranger was wearing black silk boxers and last night's dream came back to me. "Shit!" I exclaimed when I felt tears sting my eyes again and buried my head in the pillow. "What?" Ranger turned and sat back down on the bed next to me.

"Nothing." I said, taking a deep breath. "I just remembered a dream." Ranger let his hand glide over my hair and pushed it away from my face. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

I shook my head no. "I'm okay, I just wasn't prepared."

"I don't ever want you to be prepared to cry, Babe." He said and wiped a tear from my cheek with his thumb. I took a deep breath and attempted a smile. "I'm okay." I said again and this time, Ranger believed me and got up.

I rolled over and stared at the ceiling. I was ready for this, right? It was my idea, I had to be. Ranger had trusted me enough to adopt my plan; I had to be strong enough to play my part in it.

As soon as Ranger left, I got up and took a shower. I didn't waste time checking my reflection in the mirror. Since I had slept in my clothes again and hadn't bothered with washing my face the night before, I could just about imagine how I looked. Fresh clothes were waiting for me on the bathroom counter, and I made a mental note to thank Ella personally.

I remembered to spend a little less time in the bathroom this morning; I wanted to be done when Ranger returned from his workout. It turned out I didn't have to worry, I was dressed and starting the coffee when Ranger came back, wearing a soaked-through black tank top and sweats. "Mmmm, coffee brewing when I get home, just the way I like it." He said smiling and ruffled my hair before he disappeared into the bathroom. His attempt at lightening the mood certainly worked, I had to laugh and was still smiling when he joined me at the dining table.

"We still have almost an hour, we're good on time." He said and got himself a cup of coffee. The knock on the door almost didn't startle me this time, I was getting better. Ella came in and brought breakfast.

"How are you feeling, Stephanie?" She asked. I smiled at her. "A lot better, thank you Ella. And thank you so much for the clothes, I feel so comfortable." She seemed pleased and returned my smile. "You're welcome dear. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you."

"I'm leaving today, but thank you very much." Ella looked from me to Ranger as if to ask him to explain, but Ranger busied himself with his coffee and didn't look up. Apparently, he didn't want to share the plan with too many people either.

"I'm returning to my apartment," I said, "I'm sure I will be back soon." Ella seemed satisfied with that and nodded. "Well, enjoy your breakfast and let me know if you need anything else." She said and left.

I topped off my coffee and grabbed a bagel. I was smothering it in butter before I noticed Ranger wasn't moving. I looked up and directly into his eyes. "Really, I'm okay." I said, doing the ESP thing he usually does. One side of his mouth quirked up in a lopsided grin and he shrugged. "Just checkin'" he said and helped himself to a bagel.

Ranger was in a really good mood, and it was contagious. Either he knew I needed the distraction or he was as excited as I was to finally be doing something again. I wanted to thank him for the night before, and I wanted to ask him about the second call from Joe but I didn't want to dampen the light mood. Mostly I didn't want to cry again.

"There's no need to meet with all the guys now, but I want to go over everything with you. You up for it?" Ranger asked. I nodded as I helped myself to more coffee.

"Your car is in the garage, it's been here for a couple days. There's GPS in it, but we've also put in a panic button." Ranger explained. "RangeMan's OnStar?" I asked.

Ranger smiled. "You could say that. Just want to cover all the bases, Babe."

"No argument from me." I motioned for him to continue. "Just go home, or stop by your parents, or whatever you like to do. Just no skip tracing, please." Ranger looked at me to make sure I was okay with that. No need to worry. I felt better, but I was in no hurry to run after FTA's just yet. "Tank's team will be following you. Your apartment should be all set by the time you leave here. The plan is for you to stay at your apartment once you get there. Will that work for you?"

Ranger was making sure he asked my opinion, and I appreciated it. He'd promised me he'd try to include me, and he did. I nodded my agreement. "Can I just go to bed and sleep?" I asked. Sleeping in my own bed sounded great, I couldn't wait. "If you can wake up for the meetings." I rolled my eyes. "I will be in my apartment doing nothing." I said. "But something could be happening somewhere else. We need to make sure we're on the same page at all times." He chuckled when he saw me grimacing. "Hey, you wanted to be a part of the team!" He got me there. I did want to be a part of the team. I sighed. There would be time for sleep later. "Speaking of, is it okay with you if we change the meeting schedule? Unless there are incidents, every 3 hours should suffice I'd say." That worked for me and I told Ranger so. It was a great feeling to be included in the planning phase.

There was a knock on the door and Tank stepped in. "You're ready, Beautiful?" I blushed at the nickname; I wasn't used to it from Tank. He was holding the wire and microphone contraption I was going to wear. I took it from him and turned around to get it under my shirt. When I was done, I turned back around and Tank handed me a panic button. It looked like a small pedometer and fit nicely in my pocket. "Babe, it's not gonna do you any good in your pocket." Ranger pointed out and reached for my pocket. I took the panic button out and excused myself to go to the bathroom. I couldn't quite read the smile on Ranger's face when I returned minutes later, probably he was wondering where I was hiding the gadget. I shrugged and smiled. Tank had already left, so I shouldered my bag and started towards the door.

On the way down in the elevator, Ranger found four different ways of asking me if I was okay and up for it. One thing was for sure, I would never be able to say he hadn't given me a chance to back out. The door pinged open and Ranger pulled me close. "Be safe." He said and kissed my cheek. I hugged him back to borrow some of his strength and gave him what I hoped was a confident smile.

We arrived at the garage and stepped out of the elevator. Tank and Junior were already in their SUV, ready to follow me. I gave them a little finger wave when I got into my Mini and they nodded back.

I gave myself a mental pep talk and looked back at Ranger. He nodded and made little shooing motions with his hands. I laughed out loud and started the car. I turned left onto Haywood and then took the turn towards Hamilton, trying to make up my mind where I was going. I wanted to see Mary Lou, but there was no way I could keep the plan to myself, Mare had a way of getting that kind of thing out of me. Ever since we were in kindergarten she could tell when I was hiding something from her. Probably she was busy getting her kids ready for school. I decided to get a second breakfast at my parents, I'd make good on my promise to swing by and I'd be able to mooch some food.

When I parked in front of my parents' house in the Burg, Grandma Mazur was already standing behind the storm door. Probably alerted by her internal Burg-radar that I was coming. She opened the door and smiled at me. "Stephanie, how nice of you to come see us! We haven't seen you in a week!" She hustled me through the foyer into the kitchen, "Ellen, look who's come for breakfast, isn't that nice of her? I'll go get her a cup of coffee."

Grandma Mazur seemed a little louder than usual, but I still appreciated the effort, she was trying hard to have everything return to normal.

"Mrs. Morelli tells me you haven't been to the grave once." My mom said. I felt my throat tighten and saw little white dots dance in front of my eyes. And just like that, the light mood of the morning was gone. I sat down hard on one of the kitchen chairs because I was afraid I was going to faint.

"Was that the nicest thing you could think of to say to Stephanie when we haven't seen her in a week?" Grandma said, her hands on her hips. I love my grandmother. "It's not right." My mother tried to defend her attack, but Grandma Mazur shook her head. "Stephanie will go to the grave when and if she's ready for it, not when Angie Morelli says it's proper, you got that?" My mom's face grew red with anger. Probably she was torn between defending Burg etiquette and respecting her own mother. Grandma Mazur was the only person I knew who could and would stand up to my mother. I jumped up and hugged Grandma Mazur and she took a surprised step back. We don't usually hug in my family. She handed me my cup of coffee and nudged me over to the table again, keeping a watchful eye on my mom, who was biting her lower lip.

I couldn't hear the TV in the living room, so I had to ask. "Is Dad home?"

Grandma Mazur shook her head and helped herself to a danish. "He took the cab out early this morning, taking a friend to the airport. He should be back soon though."

Mom joined us at the table but didn't say anything. I wasn't really in the mood for small talk, so we were all quiet for a minute.

"Have a muffin." Grandma Mazur said and pointed to the pastry tray in the middle of the table. She hated uncomfortable silences as much as I did. I grabbed a muffin but only picked on it, still trying hard to bite back the tears.

"Are you coming for dinner tonight?" My mother asked. In my family, that means 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Are you okay?' Unfortunately I couldn't accept the invitation because of my sort-of house arrest. "I can't tonight, I'm working." I could see my mom's mouth tighten to a thin line; she was trying really hard to hold back a comment. Grandma Mazur looked at me triumphantly.

"I should get going," I said, "I just stopped by to say hello and to check on Rax." I stood up slowly.

"Rex is staying with Valerie's kids," My mom said. I'd only used him as an excuse anyway. I missed him, but I knew I was going to leave again so there was no sense taking him back just yet. "What are you doing for lunch?" My mom asked. I shrugged. "Don't know."  
"Let me fix you some cold cuts." She said and rushed over to the fridge. Ten minutes later, I had enough fixin's to host a Super Bowl party and my mother and I had made peace for the time being. We expressed ourselves through food in my family.

Grandma Mazur saw me out and attempted some small talk, but what she was telling me didn't actually register. I spotted the RangeMan SUV a few cars behind me when I got back to my car and sent them a little finger wave before I got in.

My cell phone chirped when I was peeling away from the curb. "I take everything back, I like your grandma." Ranger said by way of greeting. I'd forgotten about the wire, Ranger and his man were listening to my every word. Mental head slap. I rolled my eyes. "This was one of her better days." I agreed and thanked heaven Grandma Mazur hadn't brought up anyone's package.

"Where to next, Babe?" He asked. "I have the food I wanted, I'm going home." I said, and I could feel Ranger smile on the other end. "Just calling to make sure you're okay. We have our meeting at 11, does that still work for you?" he asked. I hadn't changed my mind in the 45 minutes he hadn't seen me, but I didn't say that, I just said it worked fine. "Unless something comes up in the meantime, call me or Tank anytime you have something to report." I agreed and we disconnected.

Within fifteen minutes, I pulled into the parking lot to my apartment building. My instructions were to park as far away from the entrance as possible, but really, there wasn't another option. The seniors that made up the majority of my neighbors were all at home, it seemed, so the only parking space left for me was in the far end of the lot, near the dumpster.

I took my time to get my purse out of the backseat and I opened to trunk as if to check something. The idea was for me to spend as much time as possible being visible, although my heart was beating at double speed and I was sweating like a pig because I was nervous as hell.

I locked my car and sauntered across the parking lot to the rear door of my building. Once inside, I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding and opened my mailbox. I was glad to see some things were back to normal already; my mail consisted of junk and bills. I threw everything into my shoulder bag and pressed the elevator button. It was too early in the day for Mrs. Bestler to play elevator operator, so I thankfully had it to myself. I stopped for another mental pep talk in front of my apartment door. This time I remembered the mike I was wearing and kept the monologue to myself.

I took one last deep breath and unlocked the front door, all was quiet and the way I'd left it inside. I dumped my purse on the floor and took the food to the kitchen. My answering machine light was blinking, but the messages would have to wait until I got settled. I put all the food away and looked around my apartment. I'd missed this, all of it. It wasn't much, but it was mine, and I could be by myself when I wanted to. The phone interrupted my musings and I picked it up before it went to voicemail.

"Ms. Plum?" A woman asked. "Stephanie Plum?"  
"Speaking."  
"Miss Plum, this is Detective Krenzler, Stayce Krenzler, from the Trenton PD. I need to ask you a few questions, is this a good time?"

Why would the TPD need to ask me any questions? "What is this in regards to?"

"Um…I'd rather tell you in person, if you don't mind. I am in the parking lot right now and would like to come up, if it's okay with you." I sighed. So much for being alone. "Sure, come on up."

We disconnected and I walked over to the living room window that overlooked the parking lot. A perky redhead was getting out of a beat-up Crown Victoria.

"She's coming up," I said into my cleavage, "Could someone check out Stayce Krenzler and let me know if she's really with the TPD?" My cell phone rang moments later and Tank confirmed he'd heard me and would check it out for me.

I barely had time to take off my boots before there was a knock on the door. Since I had no desire to repeat my stupid mistakes, I checked the peep hole. The redhead was standing in the hallway, but I didn't know if she was the real thing yet. She looked like she was about 5'8" and close to my age, give or take a couple years. I turned around and yelled "Just a minute!" to buy some time until I heard back from Tank.

I didn't have to wait long. A minute later, he called on my cell phone to tell me Detective Krenzler was legit.

I opened the door and she put a smile on her face. Her blue eyes were almost sparking. It made her look friendly and harmless. "Miss Plum?" She asked again, as if she didn't know I lived alone. "Hi." I said and stepped aside so she could enter.

"Can I see your ID please?" I asked. I didn't want her to think I was careless, although probably anyone could fake an ID these days. I nodded when she flashed her badge.

"So can you tell me what this is all about, Detective Krenzler?" I hadn't ask her to have a seat or if she wanted a cup of coffee or anything. I figured since she'd shown up unexpected, she wouldn't stay long.

"Please, call me Stayce. Like I said, I'm with the Trenton PD. I am investigating the murder of Detective Morelli and I would like to ask you a couple questions?" She produced a notepad and a pen from her coat pocket and looked at me expectantly. I motioned for her to follow me into the living room. Not because I wanted to be polite, but because I needed to sit down.

"What do you want to know?" I asked when we were both sitting on the couch. I was already trying to control my breathing, if the questions got personal, I was sure to bawl.

"As I understand it, you were Detective Morelli's girlfriend?" I nodded, biting my lip. "My condolences. This won't take long," Stayce said, glancing at her notepad. "Did Detective Morelli share with you what he was working on?" She looked up at me. I just shook my head no. "Are you aware of any threats, any enemies in his life?" Again, I just shook my head. "Here's my card," She sighed and handed me a business card, "I can see this is very stressful for you. If you think of anything, anything at all, please don't hesitate to give me a call."

She looked a little stressed out herself when she got up and I exhaled audibly. "I can assure you we're doing everything we can to find his killer. I'll see myself out." A moment later I heard the front door open and close. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. Thank God she hadn't asked me any questions about the case! I didn't have to lie to her. Technically, I had the killer's confession, something the cops may care about. A lot. But this was my mission and wasn't ready to share it with the TPD just yet. Even if that could mean trouble for me later. I'd deal with it then. And if it ever came up, I'd deny sharing any information with RangeMan. All in all, it had gone better than I'd expected. I wasn't crying. Okay, so I hadn't really said anything, but at least I hadn't lost it. My cell phone rang a few minutes later and I yelped. I was more tensed than I realized.

"Everything okay?" Ranger asked when I answered. I took another deep breath. "Yeah. I'm fine. Maybe I should ask around about Detective Krenzler, I could check if she's really working this case?" I suggested. "Tank's on it." Ranger just said. "You're doing great, Babe. I'll check in with you before our meeting. I liked that you kept our plan a secret." And he was gone. One of these days, I promised myself, I'd hang up on him first.

The more I thought about it, the more I appreciated Detective Krenzler's visit. In a way, she was my first test of how I would field questions about Joe. And I hadn't broken out in tears. That was progress, right?

I felt strong enough to listen to my phone messages. There were ten messages in all, three from my mom, two from phone solicitors and one each from Connie, Lula and Mare. The last two were hang-ups, but the time-stamp said they were from the day before and I had a feeling about them. I decided I was going to mention it in our next meeting. Then I remembered the wire and that someone was listening already. Probably the apartment was wired already, too. I had to remember that before I started talking to myself again. And I was wondering who of the Merry Men was listening. Maybe it was Ranger.

I wandered over to my bedroom and plopped down on the bed. I was glad I was home after the excitement of the last few days, but now I was beginning to feel antsy. It felt kind of wrong to just by lying here instead of looking for Teddy.

The phone woke me up an hour and a half later. I glanced at my alarm clock. Sure enough, it was time for our first meeting. Oh joy.

Since there was nothing to report other then my visitor, the conference call lasted all of five minutes. Ranger stayed on the phone when the Merry Men had hung up. "Everything okay?" He asked. "I feel sort of useless just hanging out here. Maybe I should be visible again, cruise around." I said.

"I think your car in the lot is visibility enough." Ranger said. I'd expected as much. "Watch some TV, relax." Ranger suggested. "I guess." I said and disconnected. And then I grinned and could barely hold back a "Gotcha!". I'd hung up first. I half expected Ranger to call back, but he didn't.

I tried watching TV for a bit, but I was too restless. I packed a bag for my stay in Point Pleasant and while I was at it, I cleaned my closet. Throwing out old shoes and clothes that were torn or no longer my size made me feel better. An hour later, I was exhausted but calmer. My phones stayed quiet for a change.

At the next meeting, there was still nothing to report. I started thinking my idea of higher visibility was the way to go, but I didn't want to bring it up again. It was decided that we'd only have emergency meeting until the next morning, but all teams would stay in their locations.

I'd just settled down in front of the TV and some cheesy Lifetime movie when my phone rang. Caller ID said the caller was unknown and my pulse sped up. "Unknown caller." I said into my bra and waited for the third ring before I picked it up. "Hello?" There was silence on the other end, so I tried again. "Hellooo?" I thought I heard breathing. Then I heard his voice. "Angel? Is it really you?" I sat down on the floor and closed my eyes. "Y…yes, it's me." I said, my voice shaky.

I couldn't remember if my phone was bugged, so I pressed the record button on the answering machine. "You made Daddy very angry." Teddy said. I didn't know how to respond, but I knew I had to keep him on the line so the call could be traced. "I'm sorry." I said. It was the only thing I could come up with. "I know," He said and his voice sent shivers up and down my body. "You're confused, Angel. I just want us to be together forever and to keep you safe."

My mouth was dry and my hands were sweating. "So when Daddy comes to get you, you won't run away again, right?" What was there to say? "Mmm."

"And didn't I tell you to stay away from the mercenary, Angel? He doesn't love you, not like I do. And he can't have you." He'd gotten louder and louder during his speech, he was almost screaming now. The sound of his voice brought back the terror I had felt in his house and the desperation I'd felt in my dream about him. Tears were streaming down my face. What was the right thing to do? Should I make him angrier and lure him out or play his game and appease him. I decided on door number one.

"Ranger is my new boyfriend and I love him." I said and I sounded awfully shrill to my own ears. "HE CAN'T HAVE YOU!" Teddy screamed and hung up. I was breathing hard. Without thinking, I ran into the bathroom, and ripped the mike and the wire off my chest. I threw it into my bedroom and slammed the bathroom door shut. I could hear my cell phone ring on my nightstand but I couldn't answer it. Everyone on the team had heard at least one side of the conversation; I hoped they knew I needed a moment to myself.

I sat down on the floor and hugged my knees to my chest, trying to calm down. Teddy's voice was in my head now, I should have known better than to tempt him, now he really was angry. And if he couldn't get to me, he would go for Ranger. I didn't even notice I had started sobbing.

It seemed like hours until I could get a grip. I got up and washed my face, taking deep breaths. I needed to call Ranger, he would know what to do, I decided.

I opened the bathroom door and sucked in some air, totally surprised to find Ranger sitting on my bed. In my panicked state, I'd seen Teddy in his place for a split second.

"Feel better?" Ranger asked. I couldn't move. I was afraid my brain wanted to see Ranger but it was really Teddy sitting on my bed. Maybe I wanted it to be Ranger so much I was imagining it.

When I didn't answer Ranger got up and walked towards me, but I shrunk back into the bathroom.

"Babe, you're okay?" He asked. I shook my head slowly. "Is it really you?"  
Ranger frowned. "Babe, I heard the call. It's okay, I'm here. You're safe." He said.

I wanted to believe what I was seeing and hearing, but I didn't trust my senses. I was freaked to the max.

"Let's try this." Ranger closed the bathroom door behind me and stayed in the bedroom. "Is that better?" He asked through the door. Somehow, that gesture was what I needed to trust my senses. I opened the door slowly and looked at Ranger.

"Teddy called." I whispered. He nodded "I heard. Your phone is bugged, we have the whole conversation on tape."

"He's mad at me." I said and Ranger nodded again. "He's not too fond of me either from what I understand."

Ranger was slowly leading me over to my bed and I sat down on it. "But there's more." I looked up, searching his face. What else could there be?

"Detective Krenzler is not who you think she is…"

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Thank you all so very much for your reviews, they mean a lot to me. I appreciate you took the time to read and review and I'm excited to learn what you think about this one!

Merci Vielmals to Stayce who just about took over for my muse for this one. Thanks Sugah!

Bon Jovi delivered the title, because they're as jersey as Steph

Disclaimer: Nope, still not owning anything, still not making any money

Rating: R for adult language and situations. They're all adults and they talk and act like it…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 12

"Detective who?" I asked. Ranger's words didn't make any sense to me, although I felt they should. Ranger sat down next to me and took my hand. "Are you feeling alright, Babe?" He asked. I shook my head slightly to clear it. Very slowly, I remembered what happened before Teddy's call.

"Detective…oh Stayce?" Ranger nodded. "That one. Glad you remembered, Babe." The way he looked at me kind of belied his light tone, he seemed really concerned. I fell back onto my pillows with a sigh. "Sorry. It was just so…"

"I know." He said. "I heard. You did the right thing." He was still holding my hand and squeezed it lightly.

I snorted. "I'm not sure Teddy would agree." I closed my eyes and added softly "He scares me, Ranger." Ranger scooped me up and pulled me to his chest. I could hear his heart beat and it was a steady, strong sound. "He can't hurt you anymore, Steph." He said softly and stroked my hair.

"When this is over, I think you should go see a doctor." Ranger said after a while. I knew what kind of doctor he meant. "I don't know. You mean a shrink, right?" I could feel him nod slightly with his chin on my head and I sighed. "I'll think about it." I said honestly. Maybe I could get some Valium that made me jump less when the fucking phone rang.

"Babe, you didn't recognize me just now." Ranger pointed out. I sighed. I couldn't argue with that. I had felt like I couldn't trust my own eyes anymore. "It's been a hectic couple days…"

"True," Ranger admitted, "But your life is always stressful. I hate to see you like this"

"I'll think about it," I said again and looked up. "How come you're here? Did I miss something in the plan?"  
Ranger chuckled. "No," He was stroking my hair, "You didn't answer your phone and you didn't make a sound." He looked at the wire with the transmitter and the microphone on the floor. "Now I know why."

I followed his gaze. "Oh. I just needed…" I think I was going to say "Some time alone" but Ranger cut me off. "It's okay. I wanted to see you anyway."

I sat up straight and took a tissue out of the Kleenex box to blow my nose. "I'm better now. The call was so unexpected in a way. I mean, we wanted him to call, I just wasn't ready, I guess."

I got up and straightened my shoulders. "I need a beer. Want one?" Ranger smiled. "Sure."

I picked up the wire on my way to the kitchen. Ranger followed me and leaned against the counter while I got the beer. When I opened the fridge door, my eyes fell on the bag of food my mom had given me and my stomach rumbled in response. "Have you had lunch?" I asked Ranger. He smiled and shook his head. "Don't think I don't know what you're doing, Babe." He said.

"What?" I said innocently. His smile widened. "Never mind." Now it was my turn to smile. We both knew I was distracting myself to avoid thinking about Teddy. I was glad Ranger let me.

I fixed Ranger's sandwich first, and then I doubled up the condiments for mine. We took our plates and our beers over to the dining room.

"So about Detective Krenzler," Ranger said when I picked up my sandwich. "Tank said she checked out," I said, "She seemed nice. She's not a cop?"

"She's with the Trenton PD," Ranger said, "And she is a detective. But she's not the primary on the case, she's not even assigned to it."

I put my sandwich down. "Then what is she? What was she doing here?" I couldn't come up with any possibility I liked. Had she worked with Joe? Were they friends? Were they…more?

My thoughts must have been displayed on my face because Ranger laughed. "It's not unusual, I just thought it was odd she didn't tell you," He said, "She's the department's grief counselor."

"A shrink?" I shrieked, almost choking on the bite in my mouth. "Sort of," Ranger said, "She's not assigned to the case, she's assigned to you specifically."

Huh. Now it made sense that she had asked me to call her about 'anything'. And I agreed, it was odd she hadn't told me. "Does she know Joe?" I asked. Ranger paused for a second before he answered and I realized I'd spoken about Joe in the present tense. "Still working on that part." He said.

I just nodded and continued eating while I was trying to decide if I wanted to talk to Stayce again.

"Can you stay?" I asked Ranger when we'd finished eating. I took a sip from my beer, and then another. "Do you want me to?" He asked. I nodded. I felt like Teddy had invaded my only remaining safe haven, my home. He had called me here before, but that was before I knew him, before I saw him. He was just another stalker at the time, I wasn't scared of him. I was scared now.

"Then I'll stay." Ranger said. He took his empty plate to the kitchen and put it in the sink. I did the same and then I followed him into the living room. Ranger picked up the remote and turned on the TV. He surfed around until he settled on CNN and leaned back. I sat down next to him and he immediately put his arm around my shoulders. I took a long pull from my beer and relaxed. I wasn't paying attention to the news though, my eyes kept flicking to the handset on the coffee table. Would Teddy call again? Would I be able to talk to him?

Ranger squeezed my shoulder. "Relax," he said, "I'm here." I was hoping that would be enough.

Ranger's cell phone buzzed and he pulled it off his utility belt and flipped it open.

"Talk." He said, then he listened. I tried to read his face for a reaction, but his expression was blank.

"Put a team on him. Leave the team at Eaton. Check in if there's an update." He said and listened again. I was watching him and could hardly keep still. "As expected." He finally said and flipped his phone shut. I couldn't wait any longer. "What?" I asked.

Ranger put his phone back on his belt and looked up. "Ashton left his house," He said, "Junior is following him. And some car keeps circling in the parking lot." I tried to jump up, but Ranger held me back. "Lester is checking it out. Stay away from the windows just to be safe." He said and pulled me back towards him. "I need another beer." I said and wiggled myself out of his embrace. I emptied my bottle with one long pull and walked into the kitchen. Since I didn't know if Ranger would want another, I grabbed two bottles and returned to the living room.

My phone rang before I reached the couch and I dropped the bottles. Beer sloshed out over the floor. Ranger jumped up and caught the bottles before they could empty themselves completely and put them on the coffee table. Then he picked up the handset and put his arm around my waist, sitting us both back down.

The phone rang again. "You ready?" He asked with a look at the caller ID. I took a deep breath. "Yes." I pressed out, although I wanted to scream "NO!!!"

Ranger put the receiver into my hand and tightened his grip around my waist. I concentrated on his touch when I pressed the talk button. "Hello?" My voice sounded a little shaky, but not too shrill. There was silence on the other end. "Someone there?" I asked.

"I know he's with you." Teddy said and my breath caught in my throat. "I know you don't want him there." Teddy continued. I grabbed Ranger's hand and held on tight while I was frantically searching my mind for something to say.

"You don't have to say anything, Angel." Teddy said. My hands started shaking and Ranger pulled me closer. "I'll take care of him." And then I heard a click and the line went dead. Ranger took the receiver out of my hand and put it back on the table.

I slowly released his hand and took deep breaths to calm down. "I'm okay." I said before he could ask. Ranger's cell phone buzzed again and he answered it. He flipped it close without saying a word. I looked at him expectantly. He shook his head slowly. "Tank traced the call, but it was a prepaid cell phone."

So much for being a step ahead, I thought. I was a lot calmer this time though, which is to say I didn't hyperventilate, and I didn't know if it was because of the beer in my blood or Ranger's presence.

"He said he'd take care of you." I said softly. When Ranger didn't say anything I looked up. He shrugged slightly. "We'll see about that. I'm prepared, Babe." What he left unsaid was 'Unlike Joe'. I swallowed hard.

I picked up my already half empty beer and I noticed the big beer stain on the carpet. I had forgotten all about that. I sighed and got up to get a towel. Anything to distract me right now.

When I had mopped up most of the spilled beer I sat back down next to Ranger. "You're okay." He said. It sounded more like a statement this time, and I nodded.

I picked up the remote and surfed around until I found a rerun of 'Jersey Girl' and left it on. Ranger raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. He took another sip from his beer and pulled me closer. "I love this movie." I said. "Can't imagine why." He said and I looked up to see him grin. Ranger was as good at this escapism as I was. I figured if I had an hour and a half of shallow entertainment, I may be ready to think about what to do about Teddy again. I smiled and emptied my beer.

When the credits ran Ranger turned off the TV. "Okay," He said, "Break's over. We need to talk."

Damn it. I should have known Ranger wouldn't let me go with denial for long. "I need another beer." I said. Ranger didn't stop me. Maybe he thought I'd drink myself into a stupor and be able to sleep. I know I was.

"Want one, too?" I looked at him with raised eyebrows and he did his version of a shrug. I knew two beers had no affect on Ranger; it just surprised me he was drinking at all.

I got the beers and when I got back to the living room, Ranger's phone was open on the coffee table and he had his notes on his lap. "Okay, Steph's here guys. Sitrep. Tank?"

I put Ranger's beer on the coffee table and took a sip from mine. "Perp initiated contact twice. We traced the calls, they were made from a prepaid cell phone. We couldn't pinpoint the location." Tank said. I figured he was in RangeMan's control room. "Junior?" Ranger asked. "Nothing to report. I am running errands with the suspect." Junior said. I could picture the black SUV with Junior in it following Ashton from the dry cleaner to the video store. "I'm staying on his tail."

"Include the locations in your written report." Ranger ordered. "Lester?"

"Beta team took over surveillance at 14:00. A blue Honda Accord, '02 model, was spotted in the target's parking lot. Plates didn't check out, but I lost him in traffic." Ranger frowned. "We haven't seen him back in the vicinity after 15:25." Lester said. No one had actually seen Teddy. He could have been in the Accord, or that could have been a random car.

"So far, half of the plan is working." I said when the meeting was over. Ranger looked at me with his eyebrow raised. "Teddy made contact. We just haven't seen him yet."

"We have a lot more than that." Ranger said. "We have him mad and aware of me. When we leave tomorrow, I am sure he'll follow. There is no way he could know where we're going, we will spot him if he's getting too close. We'll keep working on drawing his attention away from you. If we can get him to focus on me, we win."

"So…my plan is working?" I asked and couldn't hide a smile. Ranger smiled and chucked me under the chin. "Yeah," He said, "Your plan is working."

I raised my beer, saluting him, and took a long pull. Ranger still hadn't touched his beer. He was still watching me when I put the bottle down.

"Proud of you Babe." He said. I hadn't expected that. "You're doing great." He put his hand around my neck and pulled me close, then he planted a kiss on the top of my head. I was speechless, not used to Ranger expressing his feelings like that. I relaxed against him and rested my head on his chest. Maybe he was right, maybe I was doing great. He'd said it with so much confidence, that it was easy to believe.

"Do you think he'll call again?" I asked. The alcohol relaxed me a little, I could talk about it now.

"Probably. He wants you to know he's out there." Ranger said. Not exactly what I wanted to hear. I sighed and Ranger held me tighter. "I'm here Babe. My men are outside. You're safe." It felt good to hear him say it again.

I chewed on my lower lip and Ranger put his finger under my chin to make me look him in the eye. "If you think it's too much, just don't answer. We already have him where we want him for today."

I nodded. How did Ranger always know the right thing to say? By leaving it up to me, it felt like a lot less pressure.

I got up slowly, I needed to distract myself. I realized I was avoiding serious thoughts, but I didn't know what else to do to not break out in tears.

"It's dinner time," I announced, "Are you hungry?" I could feel the smile in Ranger's voice when he replied, even though I was on my way to the kitchen and my back was turned to him.

"You're cooking?" He asked.

"I didn't say anything about cooking." I said and turned around. "Actually, why don't we call for a pizza?"  
I could hear Ranger laugh all the way to the kitchen where I got myself a bottle of water. I was amusing him again; we were getting closer to normal.

Pino's delivered a half hour later, but Ranger didn't let me open the door. We could smell the pizza as soon as it left the elevator, but still Ranger insisted on double checking. He returned moments later with the box and shook his head. "I have to do extra rounds at the gym if I spend too much time with you." He was looking at the pizza, so I assumed he was talking about the extra calories I was making him eat and drink and rolled my eyes. "I think you'll be fine with pizza and beer every now and then!" I said and took the box from him. Pizza was the ideal comfort food and I grabbed another beer from the fridge to go with it.

Ranger turned on the TV and switched to a basketball game and we ate in front of the TV in silence. I knew Ranger was just waiting for me to talk; he wasn't going to push me. But I was done talking; I didn't want to think about Teddy any more.

After dinner, I put my plate and empty bottle into the kitchen. Three, I counted. I'd had three beers. That would explain the slightly spinning apartment and the constant yawning. I pulled out a couple blankets from my closet and put them on the couch next to Ranger, then I told him I was going to bed and said goodnight. He looked like he was going to say something, but I turned quickly and hurried into my bedroom.

I changed into my PJ's and brushed my teeth. By the time I was ready for bed, I was thirsty. With a sigh, I turned around and padded into the kitchen for water. I walked into the living room to make sure Ranger was all set. He was sitting on the couch with his laptop on his knees and didn't look up when I entered. I didn't want to disturb him.

I was clearly buzzed, but unfortunately not tired enough to sleep. I stared up at the ceiling and listened into the night. It was early, not even nine, but I was too lazy to get up again. I tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable.

By 10:30, I gave up, tossed back the covers, stuffed my feet into some slippers and got up. I was going to watch TV. I shuffled into the bedroom where Ranger was still working on his laptop. He looked up and his lips quirked up into a smile. "Couldn't sleep?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes at Mr. Obvious. "How can you tell?" I asked sarcastically and switched the TV on. "At least it's not for lack of trying," Ranger said, shutting down his computer, "You look like you've been in bed for hours." And he winked.

I narrowed my eyes at him but didn't respond. I knew I should have checked my hair. And if my mom saw me sitting on the couch with just a tank top and shorts and without a robe on with Ranger next to me, she'd disown me. I was still silently challenging Ranger to comment further when the phone rang. I flinched and sucked in some air. The light mood was gone.

"It's up to you." Ranger said, indicating the phone. His face had turned expressionless again. I didn't know what I wanted. Would talking to Teddy give us any more clues? Get a grip, I told myself. Ranger is right here, Teddy isn't. He can't hurt you over the phone.

"Maybe it's not even him." I said slowly. Ranger picked up the handset and checked the readout. "Maybe. Unknown caller could be a phone solicitor." He agreed. I blew out some air. What were the chances this was a spam call? It was 10:30. We both knew it was Teddy. Ranger was still holding the receiver when it rang for the third time.

"Oh, what the hell!" I scoffed and grabbed the phone. "Hel-lo!" I said, for some reason a lot more chipper than I felt.

"Angel, you're making Daddy very angry." Instinctively, I reached for Ranger's hand and squeezed it. He put his free arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. "I…" I didn't know what to say. Teddy took a loud breath.

"Don't you know what happens when you make Daddy angry? Don't you know what happens when you disobey Daddy? Daddy will punish you." He said the last part with so much venom, I threw the handset to the floor and started shaking violently. Ranger picked up the receiver wordlessly and pressed it back into my hand. He pulled me close and made me lean into him, made me feel him.

"I'm sorry." I said softly. It was the only thing I could think of. Teddy didn't say anything, but I could hear him breathe. Ranger nodded, signaling me he liked my approach. He made a 'go on' motion with his hand and I gripped the receiver tighter. I just couldn't come up with anything to say, so I just repeated "Really, I'm sorry."

"I think he has poisoned your mind, Angel. Don't trust him. I will save you." I was squeezing Ranger's hand so hard, I was afraid I was going to break it. "You can…you can do that?" I asked, checking for Ranger's reaction. He was nodding again.

"I will rescue you." Teddy said and hung up.

Ranger took the phone from my hands and pulled me into a hug. I broke into tears and I was still shaking. If Teddy's goal was to scare me shitless, he had succeeded. I felt Ranger's cell phone vibrate and his hand dropped from my back for a minute while he silenced it.

"He can't hurt you. I'm here." Ranger whispered close to my ear and hugged me tighter. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest.

I finally stopped shaking and was able to take deep breaths to calm down. I pulled back a little so I could look at Ranger. "He said he'll rescue me." I said softly. Ranger smiled. "I won't let that happen."

I nodded because I didn't know what to say. I wanted to believe Ranger, but Teddy had scared me. I was afraid if he ever saw me again, he would make good on his promise to punish me.

"Are you okay?" Ranger asked, lifting my head with his finger under my chin. "I'm getting there." I admitted. This latest call had definitely been the worst, and I hoped it was the last. "I'm here." Ranger said. I smiled and kissed him on the corner of his mouth. "Thank you." I said and put my head on his shoulder. Now I _was_ tired, exhausted even, too lazy to even get up and go to bed. I told myself I was just going to rest in Ranger's arms for a minute.

I woke up when Ranger shifted next to me and when I opened my eyes, I was amazed to see it was morning. We were lying entangled on my couch. Well, I was lying _on_ it, Ranger's legs were dangling over the edge. It must have been really uncomfortable for him.

"Good morning." Ranger said and smiled at me. My eyes widened. "Did I sleep on you the whole night?"

"Pretty much. First, you fell asleep sitting up." He said and his smile broadened. "Any bad dreams?"  
I shook my head no. There never seemed to be any bad dreams when Ranger was with me.

"We still have some time before the meeting. How about some breakfast?" Ranger asked.

I got up slowly and pulled down my tank top which had crept up during the night. "I'll get coffee started and take a shower." I said. Ranger caught my wrist before I could turn around.

"I didn't mean for you to make breakfast, Babe. But you can take a shower before it's delivered." Oh. I did think it was a little unusual for Ranger to ask me to make him breakfast. Now it made sense.

I could smell bacon as soon as I left the bathroom and felt better immediately. I missed whoever had delivered breakfast, but now it was all spread out on the dining table. Bacon, eggs, pancakes, syrup, toast, butter, fruit, coffee and milk. Ranger was already sitting down, two grapefruit halves in front of him. I rolled my eyes at his choice and loaded up my plate with bacon, scrambled eggs and toast.

Ranger refilled our cups with coffee after he was done with his grapefruit and I'd helped myself to some pancakes. "Feel better?" He asked? I nodded with my mouth full. A breakfast like this would make me feel better even if I was in hell!

"Okay," Ranger said when we had cleared up the leftovers and dirty dishes and were nursing our third cup of coffee. "Are you ready for the meeting? I'm gonna conference the guys in and we'll see if anything happened over night."

"Wouldn't they have called if something happened?" I asked, suddenly feeling less comfortable. Ranger sent me a full-on smile. "Emergencies, yes. Every day things, no. We scheduled the first meeting for 8, remember?"

Right, I thought, the plan and Ranger's schedule for it. I wasn't used to a detailed itinerary, I guess. "Okay," I said, "I'm ready." Ranger looked at me for a long moment as if to make sure I'd been telling the truth, and then he pulled his phone off his belt and dialed.

Nobody had seen Teddy, and I was the only one who'd heard of him. Junior had followed Ashton back to the house and had managed to tab his phone. The first shift had taken over at 6 AM and had nothing to report. I was beginning to think the plan was a big waste of time and I told Ranger so.

"You're just not used to organizing it like this, Babe," he said, "You usually work alone, you don't need to synch your actions up with a team. Trust me, we're doing great."

Ranger had done this more often than I, so I believed him. But I still thought working alone was more effective. For the most part. Until I had to call for help because I couldn't do it alone.

Since Ranger was already at my house and we knew that Teddy was aware of that, we decided to leave for Point Pleasant earlier than planned. It was my suggestion, since I was getting antsy sitting on my hands and needed to get out. Ranger had agreed, but he looked like he was thinking of rolling his eyes. His cargo pants must be the male equivalent of a purse, because he was clean shaven when he came out of the bathroom and I was pretty sure he hadn't used my razor.

I made sure I forwarded my home number to my cell, Ranger made sure I was wearing the wire and the panic button properly. My cell phone and my stun gun were fully charged, my gun was loaded. I was ready to go.

Ranger took my duffle and I locked my apartment up behind us. "We're leaving my place" I said into my cleavage, as Ranger had asked me to do. One Merry Man had the task of documenting all activity, I was glad I didn't have to tell him when I went to the bathroom. I wasn't going to complain though, because when Teddy had kidnapped me, a wire and a panic button would have made all the difference. Now I felt a lot more prepared. Well, and the knowledge of Ranger and at least two Merry Men watching me made me feel a lot safer, too.

Ranger's car was parked next to mine, so we had to cross the parking lot to get to it. Ranger put his arm around my shoulder. I knew it was to anger Teddy, but Ranger was also shielding my body with his.

I blew out the air in one big whoosh when we were in his SUV. "So far, so good." I said. Ranger's cell phone hummed and he picked it up to give a report. We made stage one without incident. No one had seen Teddy around my apartment and yet he had known exactly when I was back in it and when Ranger came over. It was creepy.

"How does he do it?" I asked when we were buckled in and Ranger started the car. "Does what?" He asked. Apparently his ESP wasn't working this morning. "How does Teddy know you were at my house but no one has seen him?"

Ranger turned in his seat to face me. His expression was unreadable. He picked his phone back up and dialed a number.

"Double up our tail," He said, "We haven't seen him but he knows all about us. Make sure you have us covered." And he disconnected. "Good point." He said and I had to smile. Was that his way of admitting he'd overlooked something?

Either way, I thought we made a great team. I knew several RangeMan cars were following us, but I couldn't make out any of them. Ranger went into his zone and I had time to think. This wasn't good. I tried to come up with trivial thoughts, like if I'd remembered to pack my bathing suit, even though it was November and way too clod to swim…that was working for a while. Before I knew it, I was pondering the advantages of living in Florida versus living in New Jersey.

Ranger took Chambers to Broad and then got on Route 195 without saying a word. I played with the radio settings until I found Metallica and cranked it up. Ranger cut his eyes to me but didn't say anything.

"Getting ready for showtime." I yelled over the music and Ranger's lip quirked up in an almost-smile as he shook his head slightly.

Ranger's cell phone must have buzzed, because he turned off the radio suddenly and put his phone on speaker. "Talk." He said.

"Cal here. Ashton got a courier delivery about 30 minutes ago and just left his house. No phone calls were recorded. I am following him, it looks like he's headed for 195."

"Stay on him." Ranger said and disconnected. "Looks like we got company, Babe." He said and looked pleased.

Here was one major difference between me and Ranger: He heard someone was following us and was pleased. I heard it and was scared. I was glad Ranger's plan had called for us to be in the same car, I felt a lot safer that way. If Ashton was following us, Teddy wouldn't be far behind.

"Would they call us if they spotted Teddy?" I asked. Ranger nodded. "Immediately." And then he went back into his zone.

I got excited when we left the highway headed towards 'Shore Points'. I loved the shore in the summer, and in the fall it was still a nice change of scenery. I was looking forward to it. I just didn't know how convincingly I'd be able to play Ranger's girlfriend.

TBC

A/N: Please let me know what you think.


	13. Chapter 13

Thank you so very much for your reviews, you really make my day. I appreciate all your comments!

This is lucky 13…and it wouldn't have happened without the tireless efforts of my dearest Stayce, who provided essential insider information about the Jersey Shore and her expert opinion. Thanks Babe!

The title is borrowed from Bon Jovi, they're as Jersey as Steph

Disclaimer: All characters are JE's and I don't earn a penny borrowing them

Rating: R for adult language and situations. They're all adults and they talk and act like it…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 13

Since I didn't know where we were going exactly, I looked out of the window excitedly when Ranger drove us through Point Pleasant. It had never occurred to me to ask where we were going to stay, I'd just assumed Ranger would take care of it. So much for being part of the plan, I thought. Ever since I was a kid, Point Pleasant had meant vacation to me. My parents took us here in the summer; I had worked on the boardwalk during school vacation. I knew every inch of the beach and loved it. It was November now, and most of the businesses near the beach were boarded up for the winter. There was a lot less traffic than during the summer and only a few locals on the streets. Neat bungalows, most with porches, lined both sides of the streets. The vacation houses were locked up tight, waiting for the families that will descend on them next summer.

Ranger took Ocean Avenue to Arnold Avenue and pulled into Ye Olde Carriage House, as a sign announced. I'd never heard of it.

I turned to him. "A hotel?" I asked, "Aren't we a little exposed in a hotel? And what about the other guests? Is it safe?"

Ranger pulled into a parking spot and turned off the engine before he turned to me, smiling. "Point Pleasant is not that popular in November, Babe. It just so happens that we have the carriage house in the back," He nodded towards the back of the large guest house, "And the only other guests happen to be employed by RangeMan. It's not a hotel so much as a guest house, two apartments"

Mental head slap. I should have known he would pick the right place.

Ranger flipped his cell phone open and dialed. "We're at location." He said. He listened for a few seconds, then he disconnected.

"Ashton followed us to Point Pleasant. Cal is on him. Bobby is in the main house with full view of the Carriage House. We're all set." He said and got out of the car. He took his time getting my bag and his suitcase out of the trunk and then he walked around the car and opened the door for me.

We could see Arnold Avenue from where we were standing, and I caught a glimpse of a black SUV driving by. RangeMan, I assumed.

Ranger had parked the Cayenne where it could be seen from the street, so that if Teddy or his accomplice drove by, they could find us. I could hear the ocean; we were about three blocks away from it. Ranger put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close.

"Our first vacation as a couple." He said and smiled. I swallowed hard. I knew this was part of the plan, but it hit just a little too close to home.

Ranger noticed my reaction. "Sorry, Babe. You know what I meant." He cupped my face in his hands and kissed my forehead.

"Yeah, I know. It was just…to hear it was…I don't know." I sighed. "It'll all be over soon." Ranger said and leaned his forehead against mine.

"No, I didn't mean it that way," I protested, "I love being here with you."

"I know what you meant." Ranger said softly and led us down the gravel path that started to the left of the house and wound its way to the back. The main guesthouse was a two-story Colonial, painted in pastel pink. Shrubs were planted in the front and around it, and they added a touch of green to the overall gray of the day.

The Carriage House was in the back; it was a small cottage, detached from the main house. It looked like it had been converted from an actual carriage house, the front door and two windows on either side looked like newer additions. Like the main house, it was pastel pink and looked like it had been painted not too long ago.

Ranger cut his eyes to the second floor of the guesthouse without moving his head. If I wasn't standing right next to him, I would have missed it. He nodded almost imperceptibly and pulled a key out of his pocket.

He took a step towards the door so he was standing right in front of it, blocking it, and pointed a key fob at the doorknob. A tiny LED light in the knob turned green and I heard the locks click. My eyes widened. Ranger opened the door and motioned for me to enter first.

I walked past him and into the small sitting room. There was a love seat in a floral pattern and two white rattan chairs around a white rattan coffee table. The sitting room ended in a kitchenette at the far side of the room. The kitchen cabinets filled the entire width of the room, a fridge stood at the right wall next to a stove. The dining area consisted of a small table with two chairs. To the right of the front door was a small corridor, leading to the bedroom and bathroom, I assumed.

I turned to Ranger when he had closed the door. "The house didn't come equipped with RangeMan security, did it?"

Ranger smiled. "No, the men did overtime to put it all in before we arrived. We have the perimeter monitored, motion sensors in the front and back and an alarm system." He pointed towards a small rectangular device on the wall.

Ranger pulled his cell phone off his belt again and dialed to give the rest of the team an update. I sauntered over to the hallway in search of the bathroom. On my way, I walked past the two bedrooms. One was a little bigger than a closet, with a twin bed and a nightstand. The bedspread was a colorful patchwork quilt that gave the room a warm touch. There was a small green rug on the floor and a lamp on the nightstand. Two pictures on the wall depicted colorful ships. Next to the small bedroom was the master bedroom with a queen sized four-poster bed made of light oak. It had a similar bedspread as the small bed and three decorative pillows. My mom would have loved the room with its old-fashioned comfort.

Actually, the room kind of reminded me of my parents' bedroom. Two nightstands held a table lamp each and on the wall next to the window was a dresser. The room was furnished for function, but it clearly had a woman's touch, right down to the wallpaper with faded roses on it.

Off to the left was the tiny bathroom, barely wide enough for a shower stall. I could tell all of the rooms had been created well after the house itself, but it was cozy and clean.

Ranger's voice drifted to me but I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying. I knew he'd fill me in afterwards.

I took care of business and freshened up. Now I was hungry. I'd had a good breakfast, but the stress of the drive over had used that up. I needed comfort food.

I came back into the front room just as Ranger was ending the call. "Anything new?" I asked. "Hold on." Ranger said and he picked up our luggage and disappeared towards the bedroom. He came back moments later with a laptop in his hands.

"Still no confirmed sighting of Gardner. But the Civic is back and Lester is on it."

"What about Ashton?" I asked. "Cal followed him here. Currently, he's cruising the streets of Point Pleasant in search of us."

"And we're just following him? Why don't we stop him?" I asked. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"It's not him we want, Babe. We want him to find us and hopefully tell Gardner where we are. If we're lucky, they're meeting up here. The fact that he was able to follow us here in the first place tells us he's pretty smart. We have to keep our distance or we'll tip him off."

I sat down on the love seat, chewing my lower lip. I didn't like the idea of Ashton or Teddy so close to me.

Ranger sat down next to me, booted up his laptop and signed in. "I'm having a picture of Ashton sent, maybe you recognize him as the second guy." He said. I shook my head. "I never saw the guy, only heard his voice."

"Maybe you've seen him somewhere _before_ though." He pointed out and turned the laptop around so I could see the screen. In the picture, a dark-haired man was smiling at the camera. He was wearing a tux and half of the picture had been cut off, probably a wedding picture or something. His blue eyes stood in contrast to his almost black hair, and he seemed familiar, but I couldn't place him. "Does he work with Teddy?" I asked. Ranger nodded. "He's also an orderly at St. Francis, but he keeps showing up for work, usually. Took a few days vacation starting yesterday, unplanned, according to the supervisor. "I don't know him, he just looks sort of familiar." I said. Ranger had turned the laptop back to him and was typing and without looking up.

"Cal is gonna keep following him. The Cayenne is out there, and Gardner knows that's my car. We're staying put until he finds us." "Like sitting ducks?" I asked sarcastically.

"Like well monitored and armed sitting ducks." Ranger said, smiling.

I picked my purse off the floor and tucked it in next to me. "Can never hurt to have extra weapons, Babe." Ranger said and he winked at me. I stuck my tongue out at him, because I knew he was making fun of my fear of guns.

"So we're staying here?" I asked. "Wouldn't it make sense for us to explore the town or walk on the beach? Be out there?" I waved towards the front door.

Ranger finished typing and closed his laptop. He put it on the floor and leaned back. "We're going out. Just waiting for the next update, I'd like to know who to look for."

"Did you bring any food?" I asked. Ranger barked a laugh and tousled my hair. "I had the fridge stocked."

"Is there ice cream?" Now Ranger was smiling. "I'll buy you an ice cream on the boardwalk, Babe. Only you would want ice cream when it's 50 degrees outside…"

Probably he didn't know that craving ice cream had nothing to do with the temperature outside. It was the ultimate comfort food for me.

"There's no TV." I said. I had just noticed that I was staring at a large painting of a ship at sea when I looked straight ahead. "No, there's no TV," Ranger said and put his arm around me, "The idea is for people to find their own entertainment." I grimaced at that. I knew it wasn't unusual for vacation cottages to just be functional, and I'd never spent much time inside when I was in Point Pleasant. But I'd never been forced to stay in a hotel room before either.

"You really think he's gonna show?" I asked. We both knew who I was talking about. "Absolutely," Ranger said, "He's gonna want me out of the picture."

My breath caught in my throat and tears were stinging my eyes. Ranger was right. Teddy would want him out of the picture just like he had taken Joe out of the picture. Out of the picture. Forever. The reality of it hit me so hard, I wailed.

It took Ranger by surprise, I could see his eyes widen for a split second before he wrapped his arms around me.

I knew Ranger hadn't meant anything by it, but all of a sudden, I had the image of Joe shot down in my head, and I couldn't push it away. Tears were running down my cheeks. I was scared, I was sad and I was lonely.

I'd been able to keep it in the night before, but now it was coming out with a vengeance. I pulled away from Ranger and fled to the bathroom. It felt like I spent more time in bathrooms than any other room these days. I sat down on the toilet and grabbed a handful of toilet paper to wipe my eyes. I was breathing air in big gulps, and the tears were finally drying up. I washed my face and sank down to sit on the floor. I didn't know what to do next.

I was expecting Ranger to knock on the door to ask if I was okay, but he was giving me my privacy. I leaned against the cool wall and closed my eyes to gather my thoughts. I had to get over this! For the rest of my life, Joe would be mentioned. I could not break down every time I thought of him!

I had no idea how much time had passed and was still trying to pull myself together when I smelled something familiar. I was sure my mind was playing tricks on me. There was no way I could be smelling…no wait, it was too real. I smelled chocolate chip cookies baking!

I got up and slowly walked back to the sitting room. The smell was getting stronger. I turned the corner and, sure enough, there was an empty package of Toll House cookie dough on the table, and Ranger was checking the oven.

"You're baking?" I asked and Ranger turned around. "I couldn't get ice cream here fast enough, and I thought you'd like the place to smell like home." He said as he turned around.

I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around him. "Thank you. Again." I said, leaning against his chest. "There's nothing fresh baked cookies can't fix."

Ranger threaded his fingers through my hair. "I thought you might think that." I could hear the smile in his voice.

I couldn't believe he'd done this for me. Besides my mom or Grandma Mazur, no one had ever baked cookies for me. And just when I _really_ needed them, too. I felt better already. The right food had that effect on me. I pulled back to look up at Ranger's face.

"You bake on every undercover job?" I teased. Ranger chuckled. "Only when my partner hides in the bathroom." He said and kissed my nose.

"How much longer?" I asked when I pulled away to check the oven. Ranger held me back. "Ten more minutes! Have a seat, I'll get them!"

I ate the first cookie before it was cool enough to hold in my bare hands. I closed my eyes and enjoyed every bite. In addition to the taste, the smell filled the whole house and made it a lot homier to me, I felt comfortable. I smiled at Ranger when he placed a glass of milk on the table in front of me and grabbed another cookie.

"I have something for you." Ranger said when I had relocated from the kitchen chair to the loveseat and I was full with cookies. He handed me a small box and for a second, I hesitated. Why would he give me a box that is only big enough for jewelry?

Ranger sensed my confusion and opened the box for me. Inside was a cute golden pin, a dragonfly with colorful wings. Next to it in the box was a piece of beige plastic that looked like discarded chewing gum.

"That's your new microphone and ear piece," Ranger explained. "We don't need you wired so much as part of the team. From now on, we're gonna have our meetings online, so to say, directly." He pointed at his ear and then at his collar, where I assumed his microphone was.

I looked from the pin to him gratefully. Usually, I only ever got to speak and was listened to, I never got to hear RangeMan's part of the conversation.

"I'll go change ant put it on." I said as I got up. I'd been meaning to change for our trip outside anyway.

"Let me know if the ear piece is comfortable, we can always change it." Ranger said before I turned the corner to the bedroom and I nodded. Really, I could have just as easily put the pin and the earpiece on in the main room, but I didn't want Ranger to see how touched I was. We hadn't talked about it, he had picked a 'girly' microphone for me on his own, just knowing I would like it. Actually, I loved it. I changed into my sky-blue cotton sweater and attached the little dragonfly to the V-neck, then I let my fingers slide over it. When I moved, the light reflected in all colors of the rainbow on the little wings. It was beautiful. I knew it was not a present, but it felt like one and it was certainly one of the most beautiful things I'd ever been given. I knew Ranger saw only the functionality in it, so I didn't want to gush in front of him.

The earpiece would take some getting used to, put it fit pretty well. Even if I tucked my hair behind my ear, it was barely visible.

I lowered my head to I'd be closer to the pin. "Testing. Testing. Steph to team. Can you hear me, guys?" I said and felt rather stupid doing it.

"Loud and clear!" Tank's voice boomed in my ear and I smiled. I was wired and ready to go!

I put on my jeans jacket and joined Ranger in the sitting room. "I'm all set," I announced, "Can we go now?"

Ranger's face lit up in a 200-Watt smile. "You'll never cease to amaze me, Babe." He said and pulled me closer by putting his hand around my neck. "Just waiting for the next sitrep, then we're off."

I sat down on the couch with a sigh; waiting had never been my favorite pastime. Ranger joined me and started the 'meeting'. "Target has a case of cabin fever," He said, winking at me, "Can we get a position report?"

"Control room here." Lester spoke up, "No more phone calls from the perp or the suspect. Steph, your mom called." I groaned at that and heard the men's laughter in response. "Everything is five by five on this end." Lester finished up.

"Team guest house." Bobby said. "I have a clear visual of the location entrance and the feed from all cameras is clear."

Cal was next. "Suspect found target's car about twenty minutes ago. Passed and pulled into the next motel, the Amethyst. Checked in at the office and got room 102 on the ground floor, overlooking the street. I'm in room 104 next to suspect, no movement. Suspect has cell phone that wasn't registered on his background check and made several calls en route. Unable to determine number or origin. So far, no movement."

"Alpha team is in position outside of location, on Arnold." Tank said, "Five by five."

"Transcript to follow." Lester said and Ranger ended the meeting. It was a weird thing to have a conference call without picking up a phone; it had seemed surreal, like a radio play.

Ranger adjusted his utility belt and put on his black leather jacket. He extended his hand and pulled me off the couch, then he grabbed my purse off the couch and kissed my temple before he led us to the front door. "We're leaving now?" I asked, "What if Ashton sees us?"

"That's the idea, Babe," Ranger said, "We're supposed to lure him out, remember?" I did remember, but it felt just a little too risky. I was about to ask Ranger if he was sure, but I bit my tongue. Of course he was sure. He knew what he was doing, I reminded myself.

"Leaving location, follow on foot." He told his collar and I jumped at suddenly hearing his voice from two directions. This earpiece really took some getting used to!

"10-4," Came the response, I think it was Bobby. Probably he was watching us from upstairs. Ranger beeped the door locked and took my hand. Right, I reminded myself, we were a couple. A couple that is very much into PDA's, apparently. I knew we had to overdo it a little to hopefully get Teddy to become careless. I didn't mind, it was nice to feel Ranger so close. I just wasn't used to walking hand in hand with him.

It wasn't as cool as a few hours ago when we arrived, the sun had come out, but I was still glad I'd remembered the jacket. We took the gravel path back to the street and continued on the sidewalk towards the beach. We walked past the closed up summer cottages in all different pastel colors. In the summer the porches would have hammocks and chairs, gliders and rockers, kids' bikes and toys. They were cold and empty now, actually sad looking. Kind of lonely.

There weren't any big trees around this close too the salt water, but a few evergreens added some color. Every fourth house or so seemed occupied year-round, there were cars parked in the driveway, but overall, the area seemed deserted, with the empty flagpoles next to the front doors and dead leaves piling up in the front yards.

"We'll be passing the Amethyst in a few minutes," Ranger said, both to me and the rest of the team, "In case he follows us, one man stays behind to set up the room, one man follows him." Another 10-4 acknowledged Ranger's order.

"In position." Came another report, I wasn't sure which Merry Man had said it. My curiosity winning over, I pretended to tie my shoe and risked a glance back. About 100 yards behind us, Junior was leading a black lab on a leash. They made a cute picture and the distraction worked well, I thought. Just a man walking his dog.

Ranger took my hand again and pulled me close. "This is it," He said and nodded towards the two-story block of beige stucco that just screamed 'cheap beach motel, "The Amethyst."

He cupped my face with his hands and lowered his lips to mine. His mouth felt warm on mine, and I let my hands snake around his waist. Catcalls and whistles filled my ear and I could Ranger smile against my mouth. I knew it was a just-for-show kiss, and there was no tongue involved, but I still felt a little uncomfortable. I was reminded of the night in Ranger's kitchen when he had rejected me. Probably I'd picked the wrong time to remember that embarrassing moment, but I couldn't help it. I pulled away from Ranger and continued our walk.

"Suspect is making a phone call." Cal reported. I raised my eyebrows at Ranger in a silent question. Ranger lowered his head and said, "Report the conversation."

There was silence for a minute, then Cal came back online. "Suspect is talking to the perp to report your position in front of the hotel." I could hear the smile in Cal's voice when he continued. "Suspect is calling you a 'tonsil-hockey' playing couple." Ranger smiled at that and I felt the heat creeping into my face.

"The plan is working, Babe." He said and put his arm around my shoulder while we were walking. We got to the corner of Ocean Avenue and Arnold, crossed the street and took the steps up to the Boardwalk.

"Suspect is leaving hotel, following target." Cal said, "I am keeping a visual. Hal is equipping room with surveillance gear."

Ahead of us was the wide white sand beach, the wide wooden boardwalk with benches looking out toward the water. The moment I saw the beach and the ocean, I felt lighter, happier.

The sound of the waves breaking on the beach was deafening, the foam was running up the sand. Sea gulls were flying overhead, calling back and forth to each other. The beach was deserted this time of the year, I could only make out one lonely walker about half a mile ahead and a dog jumping and chasing sea gulls.

We leaned on the metal railing that separated the boardwalk from the beach and looked out at the ocean. I took deep breaths, enjoying the salt smell from the ocean.

I could see surfers in wet suits making the most of the surf and farther out, there were a few fishing boats. It was like a picture postcard. Most snack places and souvenir stores on the boardwalk were closed and locked but a few joggers and elderly couples holding hands were enjoying the nice weather, oblivious to the 'closed for the season' signs.

The smell of the ocean mixed with the smell of popcorn from somewhere down the boardwalk, and I could hear music faintly in the distance.

I let go of Ranger's hand but he stayed close behind me as I made my way across the sand and we were laughing when we got so close to the water that it started lapping up our shoes. This close to the water's edge, the foam was making sizzling sounds as it hit the sand.

It was freezing, but I didn't care. "This was a great idea!" I said, "I didn't realize how much I missed the ocean!"

"You were in Atlantic City four days ago." Ranger pointed out. Oh right, how could I forget? "I didn't get to feel the water." I explained. Seeing the waves from the 50th floor and standing ankle-deep in them was a major difference. To make my point I bent down and splashed some water at Ranger. He jumped back and grinned.

He kept walking backwards, away from the water and me. I don't know what came over me, but suddenly, I was running at Ranger full speed and I jumped him when I was mere inches away. It took him completely by surprise and he was unable to keep his balance, we tumbled into the sand.

Ranger landed flat on his back with a 'whoump' and I fell on top of him. "Thanks," I said playfully, "I needed that. Now I can say I felled the mighty Ranger!" Barks of laughter rang in my ear. Shit, I'd forgotten all about the microphones in the moment.

Ranger was grinning from ear to ear as he pulled me up with him. "Glad you're feeling better." He said sarcastically and wiped sand from my face. "You're dirty, wet and freezing, but you're feeling better. Go figure." I smiled up at him, brushing sand off his shoulder. He was right about the freezing part.

"Suspect has target in view, keeping his distance." Cal said. "Position?" Ranger asked. I tensed. The light mood was gone. "At store front." Cal reported.

"We have boardwalk in full view," Tank said, "No visual of perp so far." Ashton must be Teddy's eyes and ears, I figured. He was too smart to confront me right away; probably he was still planning his next move.

"Suspect is making phone call." Cal said. "Keeping Teddy up to date." I added and Ranger nodded.

"Shit!" Cal exclaimed. "Suspect is armed. Can't make out the model, but unmistakable bulge under jacket." I sucked in some air and Ranger put his arm around my shoulders. "Let's move on." He said.

"Because it's harder to hit a moving target?" I joked, but the look Ranger gave me in response wiped the grin off my face. Looked like I'd been right.

I looked around and realized we were totally exposed standing on the beach like that and I let Ranger take my hand and lead us back to the boardwalk. We were now about 100 yards further down, were the next set of stairs led back up.

"Report!" Ranger barked and my eardrum all but exploded. "Suspect is en route." Cal responded. So he was still following us. It had been uncomfortable but manageable before I knew he had a gun, now I was getting scared.

"We're heading back." Ranger said and pulled me closer. I felt a little safer back on the boardwalk, but I still made sure I had my free hand in my purse, in case I needed to grab my gun.

"Slow down," Ranger said, his mouth close to my ear as if he was whispering sweet little nothings, "We're just a couple out for a stroll, remember?" I hadn't even realized I was walking a lot faster now that I had the solid wood of the boardwalk under my feet again. We had been walking slower in the sand. "Sorry." I murmured and Ranger squeezed me.

"Now do you want that ice cream?" He asked. All I wanted was to get back to the carriage house and barricade myself inside it, but I knew we had to keep up the appearance. "Sure," I said and searched the storefronts for an open vendor.

Ranger ended up buying me a an ice cream at one of the arcades that was open year-round but declined to join me for the pleasure. Cal was keeping us up to date; Ashton was still following us, his cell phone always at his ear.

"Trace that call already!" Ranger said. He sounded impatient. "On it, boss." Lester confirmed from the control room. I had no idea how he was supposed to do that, but I knew that if it was possible, RangeMan had the resources to do it.

We looked like any of the other couples out on the boardwalk. Ranger stopped us in front of a couple store windows that weren't boarded up as if we were window-shopping. The whole time, he spoke to me softly, assuring me everything was under control and we'd be back at the hotel in a few minutes.

Cal kept updating us about Ashton's movements, apparently, he wasn't coming any closer, he was moving at the same pace we were. "He's just here to observe." Ranger told me. I really wanted to believe that, but the truth was I was terrified.

Hal reported he had installed the camera and microphone in Ashton's room and was getting a good feed in their room next door. I knew that Tank was watching us from somewhere close by, and Junior couldn't be too far behind either. I relaxed a little when we had made our way back to Arnold and I could already see the guesthouse.

Bobby confirmed he could see us and was ready to give us cover if necessary. I felt more like I was walking the streets of Bosnia than Jersey, but I didn't say anything. I just kept my eyes on the guesthouse as we were slowly getting closer.

When Ranger unlocked the door and let us in, I rushed past him and plopped down on the love seat. "Thank God!" I exclaimed.

I could hear Lester laughing in my ear. "You don't know how to have fun, Steph!" The other RangeMen laughed at that and I stuck my tongue out at them, even though they couldn't see us. Ranger was smiling. "You have a weird sense of fun, Santos!" I said, but I couldn't help smiling at his teasing.

"Target back at location." Ranger said and all Merry Men confirmed they were back on their posts.

"Did you bring hot chocolate?" I asked Ranger. He raised an eyebrow in a silent question. "I'm frozen solid, this definitely calls for a hot chocolate." I explained and got up to search the kitchen cabinets. I could hear Ranger chuckling behind me and I knew without looking he was shaking his head. If I was amusing him again, we were back to normal, even if only in my state of denial.

TBC

What do you think? Do you think Steph and Ranger should get cozy? Or is it too soon for her? What would you like to see happen to Teddy?? Leave your answers in your review!

I welcome all suggestions, chapter 14 isn't written yet!


	14. Chapter 14

Thank you all so very much for your reviews. I appreciate you all taking the time to give me your feedback.

The title is borrowed from Bon Jovi, they remind me of Jersey

A big DANKESCHOEN to Stayce, for the inspiration, the edit, the encouragement…for being there!!

Disclaimer: The story is mine, the characters aren't, and unlike JE, I'm not making any money off of them

Rating: R for adult language and situations. They're all adults and they talk and act like it…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 14

Luckily, Ranger had asked Ella to pack food for a few days, he hadn't done it himself. Ella had known we were going away together and had packed everything I needed. She had put together the basics for breakfasts, lunches and dinners. And then for Ranger, there was tasteless, healthy cereal and wholegrain something. For me, there were TastyKakes, the trans-fatty goodness of peanut butter, worthless white bread and hot chocolate.

I nuked some milk and spooned in the powder while Ranger was checking the written report Lester had emailed him.

When I had put the mugs on the kitchen table, I took off the pin and removed the earpiece. I figured it would be enough if Ranger was wired. It was too weird to hear Ranger in stereo sound.

I grabbed a cookie off the plate on the table and blew on my hot chocolate. Okay, so I had made cocoa to distract me, but I really was cold from our walk and I loved cookies and cocoa.

"Babe," Ranger said. I opened my eyes; I must have closed them at some point and looked at him. "Hmm?"  
"I understand you really like those cookies but you may wanna keep it down while the men can hear you." He pointed at his collar where he was still wearing the microphone. I felt my face blush bright red. I guess I must have had one of my food ecstasies. "Ooops?" I said while I covered my mouth to hide my smile. He was right though, I really liked the cookies.

When I'd finished my cookie and Ranger hadn't joined me, I picked up the mugs and carried them over to the love seat where he was still working on his laptop.

I looked at him, holding the two steaming mugs, until he became aware of my staring. "I made one for you," I said, handing him one of the mugs, "You must be cold."

Ranger closed his laptop, picked the microphone off his collar and said "Going offline, report movements over the phone." into it before he switched it off and put it on the coffee table.

He eyed the cocoa suspiciously but finally took it and had a sip.

"This stuff is gonna kill you." He said and I rolled my eyes. Ranger definitely didn't know how to enjoy himself in the food department.

He stretched his legs and leaned back, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"You okay?" I asked and put my mug on the table. Ranger couldn't have gotten much sleep the night before, he was probably dead-tired.

"I'm fine," He said, "Just trying to figure out Gardner's next step. I raised my eyebrows. I must have just discovered Ranger's thinking position. He smiled up at and crooked his finger at me in the universal 'come here' motion.

I took his cocoa from him and leaned back. Ranger put his arm around my shoulders and sighed.

"I'd say we done good for our first day as a team." He said. I wasn't so sure about that, our first outing had me pretty freaked. But Ranger was used to smooth missions, if he wasn't worried; maybe it was going better than I thought.

"You really think so?" I asked. He nodded. "I think we got them right where we want them."

"What happens now?"

"Now we wait." Ranger said. Oh joy. Waiting without a TV or anything to read. This was going to be a long day. We had our heads on the back of the couch, I was staring at the ceiling, and Ranger's eyes were closed. "For what?"

"Huh?"  
"What are we waiting for?" I asked. Ranger opened his eyes and smiled. "Ashton followed us here. He was standing on the street watching the house until a few minutes ago. Probably gave Gardner the play by play of our walk. As mad as you had him yesterday, this just has to get him here."

"You think he's gonna call?" I was reaching for my cell phone in my bag. "No, he's gonna want to surprise you." Ranger said. I got up anyway. Sitting around without doing anything didn't work for me. I finished my hot chocolate and rinsed out the mug, then I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and turned to face Ranger.

"Are we really just gonna sit here and do nothing?" I asked. Ranger still hadn't moved. He opened one eye and his upper lipped quirked into an almost-smile. "I didn't say anything about sitting or not doing anything, Babe." I rolled my eyes at him and his almost-smile became a full-on smile when he closed his eyes again.

He hadn't answered my question and we both knew it. I was about to repeat it when my cell phone rang. Immediately, Ranger straightened up and took the phone out of my bag, checking the read-out. His face hardened and he pressed a button to turn it off. "Hey!" I protested, "Who was that?"

Ranger pocketed my phone but didn't answer. "Ranger?" I tried again.

"A sick joke," He said softly and his tone made it clear that the topic was closed.

I crossed the room to stand directly in front of him. "Who was it? Was it Teddy? I thought I was supposed to talk to him."

He was still wearing his blank face and his look was clearly telling me to let it go, but I refused to give up. "Who was on the phone?" I asked again.

Ranger sighed and cupped my face in his hand. "He took Morelli's cell phone after he shot him." He finally said.

I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach and I sat down hard on the floor right where I'd been standing. Ranger picked me up and led me over to the couch. "I'm sorry," He said, "He left a message for you that day, that's how I knew."

I nodded, but I felt numb. The good news was, I wasn't bawling. Small steps, right? Was that the second message Ranger had mentioned during the first meeting?

Ranger handed me his mug with the now lukewarm cocoa and I took it. I was so glad I hadn't been closer to my phone when it rang. Probably I would have passed out when I saw Joe's number on the caller ID.

"I need to…" I said and sat up straight. I didn't quite know what I needed to do, but suddenly, I had to move. I picked up my purse as I stood.

"You can't leave…" Ranger said slowly, "We have to stay here."

"I know." I almost whispered and fished my iPod out of my bag. "I just need to be alone for a while." I left the main room and walked into the small bedroom, closing the door behind me. I lowered the blinds so that the room was even darker than before and settled down on the bed, turning on the iPod. I set it to shuffle, cranked up the volume as high as it would go and lay back.

An hour later, I was almost deaf and felt much better. I hadn't cried. I had the visual of Joe's cell phone number on the display of my phone, and I still didn't cry. It was a big step for me.

Again, Ranger had given me my privacy. He didn't come after me to ask if I was okay, he was just giving me my space. I had no idea how he always knew exactly what I needed, it wasn't like I was telling him, he just knew.

My scalp was itching and I realized I hadn't cleaned up after the little wrestling match in the sand earlier. I got up, grabbed my stuff and went to take a shower.

After a half hour I felt like a new person. Well, sort of. I was all clean and lotioned, the cuts and bruises on my body were slowly healing, and again I thought that reflected my emotions perfectly.

I realized I would always miss Joe, probably for the rest of my life, but at the same time, I couldn't feel all sorry for myself and break down every time I thought about him or was otherwise reminded of him.

From now on, I decided, I would try to be stronger. I might still have that pity fest with Mare, beer and Ben & Jerry, but until then, I would try to keep it together. And not because anyone wanted me to. Ranger never gave me the idea he thought I should get over it. No, this was because _I_ wanted to move on.

I blow dried my hair and pulled it into a loose ponytail, then I applied some mascara and lip gloss to feel decent again. A glance in the mirror confirmed I looked better already, my eyes weren't puffy anymore and my skin tone looked natural again. Okay, so I was starting from the outside in, but it was still a start, right?

"Okay," I said when I joined Ranger on the couch, "What's the plan, what is our next step? Any update on Ashton? Did Teddy show?"

Ranger closed the laptop he'd been working on and sent me a 1000-watt smile. "Welcome back." He said and winked. I jokingly punched him in the arm and he pretended it hurt.

"No sign of Teddy yet, but we have confirmed Ashton is talking to him. The bug in his hotel room is working well. We only get one side of the conversations, but he's told Gardner everything he saw earlier, including where we're staying." Ranger said.

"So we're still staying in?" I asked. After my little pep talk, I was ready to go out and do…something. Anything. Waiting doing nothing was killing me.

Ranger nodded. "For now." I sighed and Ranger smiled again. "You're not bored, are you?"

I snorted. "Bored is not a word for how I'm feeling. I want this over with. I want Teddy behind bars or…"

Ranger's eyebrow quirked up, "Or what, Steph?"

I bit my lower lip. Should I tell him that I had visions of Teddy's slow, painful death? Maybe he'd have me committed, or at the very least he'd want me off the team. I grabbed my purse and pretended to search for something, but when I looked up a few minutes later, Ranger's eyes were still on me, waiting for an answer.

I sighed. "I want him to suffer for what he's done. And I want him gone before he has a chance to hurt you." I finally said. There, it was out.

"Are you angry at him?" Ranger asked. Duh. Actually, anger didn't cover it, I was furious. But I settled for a "Yes."

"Good," Ranger said, "I need you to channel that anger into energy. When or if you face him again, I need you ready to act. Do you think you can do that?"

I thought about that for a moment. Of course Ranger had a point. I usually just froze when I heard Teddy's voice. Probably the same would happen if I saw him again. "I hope so." I admitted.

Ranger was watching me closely, I'm sure he didn't miss a single emotion in my eyes. He put his arm around my shoulder and gave a brief hug. "Good." He simply said again and released me.

"Here's what we know," He continued and picked up his laptop, "Neither Ashton nor Gardner have a gun registered in their name. But since we know Ashton is armed, we can assume the same for Gardner." He clicked on a few icons and brought up his email. "Ashton met Gardner at the hospital, at least there is no record of them knowing each other before that. They were described as loose friends by their coworkers. But now," He opened some surveillance photos of Ashton that were taken during our walk, "He seems to be doing his legwork."

The first picture showed Ashton on the phone while staring at something off camera. He was wearing a red down jacket and a Phillies baseball hat and standing between a boarded up salt-water taffy place and a souvenir store.

Ranger closed the laptop. "Your mom called." He said and the look I gave him must have reflected the utter confusion I was feeling because he barked a short laugh. "Sorry, I still have your cell phone, remember? Your mom called, you have five missed calls by now. You may want to call her back before she worries."

I rolled my eyes. Ranger never used to change the subject like that, when had he picked up my specialties?

"She already worries. Last time I talked to her…it wasn't nice. Not something I'm up for today." I groaned inwardly when I remembered the last time I saw Mom.

Wait, maybe Ranger bringing up my mom wasn't such a change of subject after all! "Do you think she heard?" I asked, my voice suddenly shrill. Ranger did his version of a shrug; his shoulders moved a quarter of an inch. "Thought maybe you could listen to the messages and find out." And he handed me the cell phone.

"Do you have a feeling or did one of the guys see someone else watching us?" I asked warily. If someone I knew had seen us and alerted the Burg, I would never be able to show my face in Trenton again. Grandma Bella would give me the eye and my mother would cut me off from pineapple upside-down cake forever. And I didn't know which was worse. Even if I told my family the truth, the rumor would never die, and for the rest of my life, I'd be the one who disrespected Morelli by hooking up with Ranger right away.

"No. But it can't hurt to make sure," He said, "Before you spin that worst-case scenario any further in your head. I can see the fear in your eyes, Babe." And he chuckled. He was right again. Before I knew what my mom had said, I had accepted that she knew I was here with Ranger. I shook my head to clear it and dialed my voicemail.

I switched the phone off and leaned back with a sigh. "She's inviting me to dinner. There's no way she knows." Mom had left two messages, then she had called three more times without leaving a message. If I didn't show up for dinner on Sunday, I was probably toast. But I really had more important things to think about at the moment.

My phone rang again at that moment. I really wasn't ready to talk to my mom, so I was about to ignore the call and let it go to voicemail when I saw the readout. 'Unknown' it said. Not 'Mom' or even 'Lula', Unknown. I swallowed. The only people who had this number were the ones in my phonebook. And Teddy.

Ranger saw the look on my face and flipped his own cell phone open. "Go ahead." He said and took my free hand. I took a deep breath and pressed the button.

"Hello?" That had sounded almost normal.

"You've gone too far, Angel." Teddy said. His voice was so cold, it made me shiver involuntarily. I held on to Ranger's hand and tried to stay true to my resolution, Teddy would not freak me out again.

But what was the right direction to take? Should I act scared and intimidated? Okay, that one wasn't really a stretch. Or should I act cool and snarky? I looked at Ranger but he was on the phone, probably alerting the Merry Men. I was on my own on this one.

"What did I do?" I asked. Seemed neutral enough, not too intimidated, not too fresh. Teddy snorted. Maybe he had expected another apology.

"You know damn well what you did. Making a spectacle out of yourself and the mercenary! Didn't I tell you? Didn't I _tell_ you??" He was almost yelling now. Ranger flipped his phone shut and locked eyes with me. He nodded his approval. I just didn't know if I could continue like this.

"You told me…" I started but he cut me off. "I told you I'd punish you for your bad behavior! After I take care of the bastard, I will show you exactly what that means. Daddy is very angry now!" And he hung up.

I sat motionless, the phone still at my ear, and stared straight ahead.

"He's got your phone manners. And you said he wouldn't call." I finally said emotionless. I had no idea where that came from; it was the first thing on my mind.

Ranger took my phone out of my hand and flipped it shut, ignoring my comment. "Lester is trying to track the call." I just nodded. "You okay?" he asked. Another nod from me. And I really was okay. I was just a little…I guess shell-shocked would describe it. And surprised I had kept my cool. I swallowed. "Really, I'm okay. But you're not."

Ranger raised an eyebrow. I had to admit, I wasn't making much sense. I let go of Ranger's hand and got up. "He said he'd _take care_ of you first. So we have to focus on protecting you first, not me."

Now Ranger had both eyebrows raised and the ghost of a smile was playing around his lips. "You think you need to protect me?"

"Yes. I think _we_ need to protect you. I'm second on the list. So it just makes sense that you'll be bait now." I said.

Ranger smiled and pulled me back onto the couch. "I think we continue as planned. As soon as we learn…" His cell phone interrupted us. It was a short call. Ranger put his phone back on his belt. "The call originated about ten miles from here." He said.

"Where is he?" I screamed. Ranger put his arm around me before I could jump up again. "We don't know. We just know a perimeter. I was gonna say as soon as we learn more about his location, we plan ahead. Now we know."

Okay, I had to admit, Ranger was better as the one in charge. I had made it through the phone call, but as soon as I heard how close Teddy was, I was about to freak again. Ranger just saw his plan was working. He picked up his microphone and said "Meeting in five."

"We have men in the next room to Ashton and we have a team on the street in front of the motel. If Ashton leaves to meet Gardner, we follow." He said, all calm.

Although I knew the answer, I had to ask. "You're not scared?" Ranger grunted a laugh and pulled me closer. "No, I'm not scared. I'm angry. I'm angry at Gardner for making _you_ feel scared."

Now I felt tears stinging, but not out of fear or sadness. Ranger had just gotten more proof that he was on a killer's hit list, yet he was only thinking about my feelings. That's why I got choked up and I leaned my head against his shoulder. "This is how you do angry?" I tried to lighten the mood with a joke.

Ranger ran his fingers through my hair and laughed silently. "You should see me mad." He said and kissed my nose. Although I knew he was kidding, I really didn't want to see him mad, at least not mad at me, ever.

"I'm glad you're on my side then." I said. My tone was still light and funny, but I was hoping he got the message that I really meant it. Ranger tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear and smiled. "Always," He said softly and our eyes held for what seemed like a long time.

Our meeting was another conference call and everyone reported in. The second shift had taken over, so Lester and Woody were now on 'target detail' outside. I felt bad because everyone was doing overtime for this job. Ranger only wanted his best men on it, and I was sure he was paying them extra. Again, I was costing him money. Trenton PD had not declared Teddy an official suspect yet, so there was no reward for his capture. He was just wanted for questioning after an anonymous caller had placed him at the scene of the crime. That call may even have originated from the Haywood Street office of RangeMan.

Everyone on the call was made aware that Teddy was within ten miles of us and everything was to be reported. The control room was still trying to pinpoint Teddy's location from the perimeter they got when he called me. He was still talking to Ashton on a regular basis, so they were hoping they could close in on where he was. But no one had seen him.

"Now what?" I asked Ranger after the meeting was over. This waiting for action to find us was definitely not working for me. I knew Teddy was out there, and I knew he was still gung ho on getting me. He was willing to kill Ranger to achieve his goal, and I was not going to let that happen.

Ranger tousled my hair and got up. "Let's eat." He said. "Huh?" I said rather eloquently.

"You must be hungry." Ranger explained. Well, I was back to always being hungry, so that one wasn't a big guess. "Are you volunteering to cook?" I asked. I was hoping he'd say no and we'd go out to eat. "I _can_ cook, actually," He said, "But I was thinking more about having something delivered."

"We'll go out later," He added when he saw the disappointment in my face, "But we won't have time to eat then. We're gonna try to get Gardner here." I nodded at that and followed Ranger out of the main room into the bedroom.

"Did I miss something? Do we have a plan? You said since we know where he is, we have our next move." I said, my voice maybe a little too sarcastic.

Ranger turned so suddenly, I almost bumped into him. His blank face was in place and I really didn't know if I'd been pushing him too far.

"Are you saying you'd rather try on your own again?" He asked, and his voice was eerily calm. Ouch. Probably I deserved that. "No," I said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way." And I looked down at my shoes.

Ranger blew out some air and tipped my head up with his finger under my chin. "Don't apologize. I get that you're frustrated. These things take time."

His eyes were soft again, but I still felt like an idiot. "Maybe I can cook something for us?" When at a loss for words, I always bring up food. I can't help it if food is my fix-it-all.

Ranger smiled and chucked me under the chin. "Go ahead," He said and nodded towards the bathroom, "I'm just gonna take a shower. Surprise me."

I swallowed hard when for a second, I thought he had meant to surprise him in the bathroom. Then I realized I'd never actually cooked for Ranger and that's what he had meant. Mental head slap. So I just nodded and walked back into the kitchen.

I didn't just surprise Ranger, I surprised myself. Okay, so I didn't whip up a proper Burg meal like my mom, but I managed to cook the rice just right and didn't burn it, and the chicken breast wasn't dry either. I'd added peas out of a can, and the feast was complete. Well, maybe not a feast, but dinner all the same, and Ranger ate it and told me it tasted great. I'm sure he was being nice when he said 'great', but I ate it, too, and it wasn't bad at all.

Ranger volunteered to do the dishes, but the sight of Ranger playing housewife was just one I could do without, so I shooed him into the living room and rinsed the dishes myself.

I was just going to start coffee when Ranger's cell phone chirped. He put it on speakerphone and placed it on the coffee table.

"Control room here. Boss, Lester and Woody missed their last check-in." Junior said. I looked at Ranger. I saw the ghost of some emotion, then his blank face slipped into place. All teams were supposed to check in with the control room every half hour. "When was the last contact?" Ranger asked.

"15:45 as scheduled." Junior reported. "Get Bobby on it." Ranger ordered and flipped his phone shut. The muscle on his jaw tightened, other than that, he showed no emotion. I realized I was still standing in the kitchen with the coffee pot in my hand. Since I really didn't need anything to make me more nervous at the moment, I put it on the counter and sat down next to Ranger.

"Does this mean trouble?" I asked cautiously. "Not necessarily. Bobby will check it out." Ranger said.

Bobby was still in the guesthouse, monitoring the carriage house from his vantage point on the second floor. I couldn't remember if Bobby was part of a two-man team, too. If he was alone and left his post, we'd be unmonitored for the time he was away, and I didn't like that thought.

The other team was still in the room next to Ashton's, so they were too far away to check on the team on Arnold. I bit my lip and wrung my hands nervously. The Merry Men were all ex-military; they wouldn't miss a checkpoint to go for ice cream. If they didn't report in, something must have happened.

I could tell Ranger was tensed, but he tried not to show it. If I hadn't known him so well, I would have missed it. He picked up his earpiece and attached the microphone to his collar. Since I didn't want to miss anything, I did the same, just as Ranger was telling everyone he was back online.

"Target surveillance here." Bobby said. "Are you at the car?" Ranger asked. "Yeah…Shit!" Bobby yelled. "Get an ambulance here, STAT!"

"Report!" Ranger barked and I jumped at his loud voice. My pulse sped up while I was trying to make out what Bobby was saying.

"We got two men down at target surveillance," Bobby said. A moment later Junior confirmed he had called the EMT's and that they were en route, "ETA five minutes." He finished up.

"Suspect team, split up!" Ranger barked, "I need a man on target duty while I assess."

While he…wait, was he going to leave me alone? "We're gonna check it out." I said and Ranger shot me a look. "They're right outside and Bobby is there," I reasoned, "Leave the team on Ashton."

Actually, I'd much rather stay inside where I felt somewhat safe, but I didn't want Ranger to go out by himself and leave me here with another Merry Man.

Ranger's eyes narrowed slightly and I thought I heard some of the men suck in some air. Probably, they didn't usually ignore Ranger's orders. I held Ranger's look so that he knew I wasn't going to change my mind.

"Boss?" Tank spoke up. There weren't any cameras in the carriage house, so he couldn't see the war of stares that was going on.

"Suspect team, stay put. Target will assess." Ranger said and got up, pulling me with him.

"Lester's hit." Bobby reported. We rushed out of the house so fast, Ranger had to hold me back when he took the second to lock up behind us.

I could tell he was in full combat mode now, his eyes were constantly checking our surroundings. I only prayed that Lester was going to be okay.

We almost ran down the gravel path and past the Cayenne. I could already hear sirens in the distance and remembered that Ranger had ordered emergency vehicles on stand-by. Although at the time, I'd thought he did it to be ready for the big takedown.

The black RangeMan Explorer was parked in a driveway across the street overlooking the entrance to the hotel. It was to look like the homeowner's car. It was already getting dark, but even before we crossed the street, I could see some of the damage.

The driver's side window was smashed, glass littered the ground around the door. Bobby had the passenger door open and was pulling someone out, but I couldn't see who it was because the car was blocking my view.

Junior was constantly giving us the position of the ambulance over our earpieces and Cal was demanding an update from Bobby.

"Two men down," Ranger said when we were standing right in front of the Explorer. He took a quick look around and ushered me behind the hedge that bordered the small front yard of the vacation house. "Stay here." He said, and one look into his eyes told me he didn't expect to have to say it again. My heart was pounding so loudly in my chest, I could hardly make out any other sound.

Ranger got to the driver's side and yanked the door open. "Santos! Can you hear me?" He yelled. "Back-up team is ready to move." Junior said into my earpiece. "Move out!" Ranger ordered.

Bobby got Woody free of the car and put him down on the concrete driveway. I still couldn't see Woody, but Bobby took his windbreaker off and bunched it together before he knelt down.

"Multiple GSW's, Santos is unconscious." Ranger said and I didn't know how he could keep his voice so calm. I knew he was just as stressed as I was.

The sirens got closer and I could see their strobe lights in the twilight.

"Woody, what happened?" Bobby yelled. Good, he was talking to him, Woody must be conscious, I thought. Both Woody and Lester were wearing microphones like the rest of the team, but I hadn't heard any sound from them yet.

"Are they okay?" I screamed. I needed to know, but I didn't dare leave the cover of the hedge. I didn't want Ranger to have to worry about my safety while he was trying to get Lester out of the SUV.

The ambulance took the corner onto Arnold and rushed towards us. Both Bobby and Ranger were barking orders and giving reports, but I couldn't understand what they were saying. I sank down on the grass and prayed.

TBC

A/N: I didn't get a single review that said they wanted Ranger and Steph to 'move along' and that wouldn't have felt right to me either. Let me know if the tempo is right for you. Do you see getting Steph getting over Joe enough to 'see' Ranger?


	15. Chapter 15

Thank you so very much for your reviews. I appreciate you taking the time to send me feedback. The only way I can know what you think is if I hear back from you. You guys are the best!

1000 Dank to Stayce for her support, her ideas, her encouragement, her sanity. Ich koennt' Dich kuessen!!!

Disclaimer: The story is mine, the characters aren't, and unlike JE, I'm not making any money off of them

Rating: R for adult language and situations. They're all adults and they talk and act like it…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 15

Two ambulances arrived about two minutes apart from each other and immediately, the EMT's sprang into action. Ranger had to be pushed away so they could get to Lester, he didn't move when they asked him. I yelped when I saw Lester being pulled out of the SUV and lowered onto the gurney. His face was bloody, I couldn't even see his eyes. His shirt was torn by what looked like bullet holes; I could see his black Kevlar vest underneath.

I bit my lip to keep from screaming, tears were already running down my face, blurring my vision. Ranger stood back and watched the action closely. He ran a hand through his hair and looked up. His eyes met mine. "They're gonna be fine, Babe." He said. It was fittingly strange to see his mouth move and hear his voice over the earpiece. I had the feeling he was just saying they were going to be okay to calm me, he had no way of knowing, but it helped that he stayed so calm.

Lester was hooked up to an IV and an oxygen mask was put on his mouth. They were radioing for a helicopter. I could hear their conversation over Ranger's microphone.

The second team was helping Woody, he was also out on a gurney, but they kept trying to talk to him. Somehow I thought that meant he was at least conscious.

Bobby found Ranger when Woody was being taken care off. "Scrambled signal." He said, showing Ranger something I couldn't quite see. Ranger nodded. Even in the twilight, I could tell his blank face was in place, no display of emotion.

Sitting on the ground, I hugged my legs to my chest and began to rock slowly back and forth. What I really wanted to do was to jump up and check on Lester and Woody, but I didn't even trust my legs to carry me any more. The whole scene in front of me looked like a TV show, and I was watching it.

The sirens had drawn the few residents of the area out, they were forming small clusters across the street. I could see them through the hedge.

A helicopter arrived with deafening noise just before the ambulances left and landed half on the street, half on the guest house's parking lot. I took out my earpiece because my eardrum was about to explode with the noise coming from all directions. Lester was hoisted onto the helicopter and Bobby climbed on board behind him. I could no longer hear what Ranger was telling Bobby, but I saw Bobby nod as they took off. The ambulances took off with Woody in one of them.

Ranger turned and walked towards me, his face like a mask now. He picked me up off the ground and I threw my arms around his neck, holding on to him. We didn't speak; we just stood in the shadow of the hedge, holding on to one another, for a while. It could have been 15 seconds; it could have been an hour.

All I know is when I lifted my head off of Ranger's chest and opened my eyes, it was completely dark. Spectators were going home. Police cars had arrived to seal off the scene. Uniforms were picking up evidence, talking to a Merry Man I couldn't identify by the light of the headlights.

"Let's go back," Ranger said, his mouth close to my ear. I nodded because I didn't quite trust my voice. He took my hand and pulled me with him to the sidewalk, then he put his arm around my shoulders and we walked back to the carriage house like that.

I was glad to be in the quiet house again, ironically about an hour after I couldn't wait to get out of it. My ears were still humming from the loud noises of the sirens and the rotors. I sat back on the couch and closed my eyes. I felt Ranger sit down next to me, taking his utility belt off before he leaned back.

"Are we leaving?" I asked. I didn't know if we were going to continue the plan now that two men were down.

"Don't know yet," Ranger said, "We need to go over the security tape to see what happened. Even if it was Gardner, he does not necessarily have to know we were waiting for him and watching his partner."

"Who else would it have been?" I opened my eyes halfway to see his reaction. For a second, I could see how tired he was, then the blank face came up again. He shrugged slightly.

I scooted towards him and put my head on his chest. The rhythmic sound of his heartbeat was incredibly soothing. Ranger put his arm around me and pulled me close.

"How could this happen?" I asked, although I was sure Ranger didn't know more than he had told me. He took a deep breath and started running his hand up and down my back.

"I don't know." He said and he sounded defeated. I slipped my arm over his torso. Ranger had been there for me so many times; I felt it was time for me to step up to the plate.

I was scared for Woody and Lester, terrified of Teddy, but I was pushing it all back to appear strong.

"They're gonna be okay." I said with as much confidence as I could muster. I could feel Ranger nod against my head and I looked up. "Are you okay?" I asked, fully aware it was the question he'd asked me so many times over the past few weeks. It worked, too, Ranger cracked an almost-smile. "The back-up team will be in place in a matter of minutes." He said.

I propped myself up on my forearms, so that our faces were only a few inches apart. "That's not what I asked." I pointed out.

"Men get hurt," Ranger said, "It's part of our job and we all know it."

I knew he was just as upset as I was, but he had much more experience in hiding it behind his military jargon. In a way, we were both in denial. I used to think nothing affected Ranger, now I know he just covers it up better than I do.

"He's just one man, we're a team." I said. Okay, so I didn't have much training in pick-up talks, but I was trying. Ranger was still smiling. "I know," He said and hugged me closer.

His cell phone chirped and Ranger lifted us into a sitting position before he answered. "Talk," He said and then he listened. I tried to lean in closer to hear what was being said because Ranger's face was unreadable. Was it good news? Was it a lead on Teddy? For once, I refused to let my mind go in the other direction, I'd had enough bad news today.

"Meeting in fifteen," Ranger said and flipped his phone shut. "What?" I asked, unable to wait any longer.

Ranger brushed some hair out of my face and rested his hands on my shoulders.

"Lester's in surgery, too soon to tell what's gonna happen. Woody probably had a blow to the head, he's still unconscious." Ranger took a breath and started playing with my hair around my ear. "We're gonna go over it in the meeting, but basically, their microphones' signal was scrambled and he was able to attack without us hearing."

He lowered his forehead to mine. I closed my eyes. "It's up to you," He said, "If you're in, we're staying."

Oh my. It was up to me. If I said the word, we'd be going home tonight. Was I ready to stay? "We're already here…" I said, pulling my head back a little so I could see his eyes. I could tell he was thinking about smiling, but he didn't say anything. He really was going to make it up to me. I sighed. Then I took a deep breath.

"Fuck it, let's stay." I said and slid my arms around Ranger, hugging him. I could feel him smile against my head. There was something about Ranger. When he was close to me, I felt I could do anything. "You're in?" I asked jokingly.

"All the way." Ranger said, running his hands up my back. He settled them on my shoulders and started massaging them softly. It felt great. I realized how tense I was and closed my eyes.

"Mmmmh," I all but purred, "That feels good."

"You sure you want to do this?" He asked softly. I tilted my head back and opened my eyes. "Are you?" I asked him right back. Ranger chuckled and glanced around me, probably thinking about what lay behind the door.

Just because I felt like it, I leaned in to peck him on the cheek. He turned his head at that very moment, and my lips landed on his. I could feel the surprise in both of us, but neither of us pulled back. I kissed him and then buried my head at his neck. Ranger blew out a breath and threaded his fingers through my hair.

"Looks like we're staying then." He summed it up.

"We can do this." I said like a high school coach and we both smiled at my cheap imitation.

"I'm gonna get something to drink," I said, freeing myself from his embrace and getting up, "Want something, too?"

There was some emotion in Ranger's eyes I couldn't name, but it was gone a moment later. "You're gonna serve me again? I could get used to that, Babe." He said and winked. I rolled my eyes at him and took off for the kitchen.

I was about to grab two water bottles when my eyes fell on the six-pack of Corona behind it. If this wasn't a situation that called for a beer, I didn't know what was. I grabbed two bottles and twisted them open before I went back to the couch.

Ranger didn't comment, he just took the bottle I handed him and took a long pull. I did the same and sat back down. "I needed that." I said as I put my bottle on the coffee table.

Ranger booted up his laptop and flipped his phone open, placing it on the table. "This should be our last meeting for today." He said and I picked up my bottle again and said "I'll drink to that!"

Ranger chuckled and we clinked bottles.

Bobby dialed into the meeting from the hospital to give us the latest update. The backup team had arrived and taken up position across the street, a driveway over from the last team.

"They're both stable," Bobby began, "and they're both gonna make it. Looks like Woody can go home tomorrow." I let the air out in a relieved whoosh. "Thank God!" I said. I could hear some of the men whopping in the background. It was great to start the meeting with good news.

"Woody identified the attacker as the perp." Bobby continued, "Disguised as a little old lady." Ranger shook his head almost imperceptibly. "Everyone is a suspect!" He said and he sounded impatient, "You know that!" There was no reply to what was pretty much was an outburst for Ranger.

Junior cleared his throat and took over. "Perp initiated contact with target at 14:07 at which time a perimeter was established. We are still working on narrowing the location down. Team target surveillance went off the radar after the 15:45 check-in. Hit was confirmed by location team and target at 16:31." From what we knew so far, Teddy had somehow scrambled the wireless signal from their microphones just before he struck. It sounded to me like Lester and Woody had never seen it coming, falling for the disguise. I cut my eyes to Ranger, he was clearly pissed. My only hope was that he was going to wait until they felt better before he'd rip them a new one.

Tank spoke up to report he was in position across the street and that he had a clear visual of the driveway and Ranger's car, and that the coast was clear.

"I want weapons drawn at any and all visuals." Ranger ordered, "Target is going offline, but need update on all sightings and doctor reports." Everybody gave their 10-4 to that and Ranger closed the cell phone.

"Now for the fun part of the evening." He said and leaned back. I raised my eyebrows and he laughed at my reaction. It was almost 6:30 and since there was no TV, I didn't know how much fun the evening was going to be. But I did know I would need some distraction, I did not want to talk or even think about Teddy.

Lester and Woody were going to be okay, and that's all that mattered about the attack. The Merry Men would be dissecting and analyzing to be more prepared next time, I didn't have to do any of that. I wanted to watch Ghostbusters and pretend none if it was happening.

I sighed and sank back. "Where's the fun in the fun part?" I asked. When Ranger didn't respond I opened my eyes and looked at him. He had a glimmer in his eyes and winked at me. Men. I rolled my eyes. "Never mind," I said, "I don't want to know."

I got up to find something, anything to do. If I sat still right now, I would think. I didn't want to think. I'd already inspected the kitchen and the bathroom, but I hadn't spent much time looking around the main room.

On the wall, next to the big painting, was an old beat-up drawer chest. It looked too worn to be an antique, like it had always been part of a vacation home.

The first drawer contained take-out menus from the local restaurants, a phone book and a writing pad. The menus would come in handy of we stayed another night; I sure wasn't planning on cooking every day.

I looked back at Ranger to let him know, but he was already back to working on his laptop, absently drinking from his beer. I knew he could get into a zone when working just like he had a zone when driving, so I didn't interrupt him.

There were kitchen towels and rags and such in the second drawer, all stuff that didn't really belong anywhere else, I figured. But the third drawer looked like fun.

"Monopoly!" I almost squealed. There were maybe three or four board games, their boxes tattered and beaten up, a few decks of cards and a cup with some dice. This would be fun!

"Let's play Monopoly!" I suggested and when Ranger didn't respond, I turned around. He hadn't looked up from the screen, but he nodded slightly. I took that as a yes and carried the box over to the coffee table to make sure we had everything we needed.

I tried to move the bottles and knick-knacks on the table around, but there wasn't enough room for the game board. So I just set it up on the floor and grabbed the car as my game piece. "Who do you want to be?" I asked Ranger. He was typing away on his laptop, so I wasn't sure he'd heard me. I was about to repeat the question when he said "Car". "You can't have the car, that's me. Pick another." I said.

Finally he looked up. "Babe." He just said. Who knew he had pride when it came to Monopoly? The things you learn when you're cooped up on a mission. "Fine," I just said and picked the dog for myself. It wouldn't matter with what token I'd kick his ass after all, right?

I got myself another beer and one for Ranger and sat down Indian style next to the game. "You're coming?" I asked, emptying my first bottle. "You were serious?" Ranger asked and looked up from his work. I just raised my eyebrows in response. If I had to stay in without a TV, Ranger would have to help entertain me. He wouldn't be prepared for the alternative, me whining about doing something.

Ranger shook his head slightly and closed his laptop. He got up and came over to where I was sitting, eyeing the game board. "I haven't played this in twenty years." He said, but I could see he was thinking of smiling at the idea. "It hasn't changed!" I said and patted the floor next to me. "Besides," I pointed out, "It's about buying and selling real estate. You should know all about that."

Ranger was smiling his full-on smile now. "I can beat you with one hand tied behind my back, but do you really want to endure that?" I rolled my eyes until I could see my hair grow. "Sit down already!"

He did and I sat speechless for a beat. The image of Ranger, sitting on a floor next to a Monopoly board was totally surreal. I'd seen Ranger in action, I'd seen him in bed, and I'd seen him working. Relaxing, playing a game, was new. I liked it, once I had some time to get used to it. Ranger sent me a curious glance, probably because I was downright staring, and we started playing.

Along the way, he got up to get us more beer and before long, the six-pack was history. I am a cheap drunk and I had to close one eye to read the chance cards towards the end, but I managed to render Ranger bankrupt through a strategic move involving train stations and I could see it pained him to fork over the last of his money. Of course, I was able to fully concentrate on the game, probably Ranger was thinking about ten different things and mentally keeping his checklist updated. That's the beauty of my denial, I can escape completely.

Since I didn't trust myself to make it through another round in my tipsy state, I was all too happy to put the game away after my landslide victory. Ranger promised revenge and got up to check on the teams. He called Bobby at the hospital to get an update, and he checked in with all surveillance teams.

"Lester is out of surgery," He said, "His condition is guarded but stable." And I could tell he mentally added 'Thank God'. At least I would have. I don't know how I would have felt if Lester or Woody had died. They would have died because of me. Immediately, I felt the familiar pang of guilt rise up from my stomach and I quickly willed myself to change the subject. The only reason I was able to easily was that I was on the fast track to being drunk.

"Are you not gonna drink your second beer?" I asked, lying flat on my back on the floor, my head turned towards Ranger.

He studied me for a moment and then he grinned. "No. But you're not drinking it either." He said, "I think you've had enough. We can't let our guard down tonight."

Oops, it was a little too late for that. I had let my guard down the moment I walked back into the house. It was the only alternative to breaking down, probably sobbing and screaming. And since I had resolved to not do that anymore, I'd gone with total denial. Now Ranger had brought me back into the present.

"You think he's gonna…" I didn't know what I wanted to say, so I just gestured. "Not if everybody stays sharp." Ranger said. I got up with a sigh and plopped myself down beside him on the couch. Playful Ranger had apparently left the building, he was back to business.

I leaned back and closed my eyes. The room wasn't spinning yet, so I wasn't quite gone yet. Maybe if I…

"Hey," I said, sitting up, "How about something to eat? You must be starving!"

Ranger turned his attention from the screen to me and looked at me. His expression was blank at first, then it softened. He reached out and ran his fingers through my hair.

"It's okay, Steph. We're safe here. Everything's under control." The way he'd called my bluff took all the air out of me. I bit my lip to fight back tears that were welling up. Dammit, I'd been okay! I had this whole distraction set up and Ranger came and blew it up like a house of cards. I swallowed.

"You sure?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. Ranger nodded. "We're gonna be fine." He said and leaned in. He brushed his lips over mine and pulled me close. I was still trying to keep my stiff upper lip, so to say. I didn't want to break my own promise.

Granted, I had resolved to stay strong before all hell broke loose, but still. It was a promise.

"I'm okay." I protested weakly. I really wanted to be. But if I closed my eyes, images of Lester all bloody filled my mind, and if I left them closed, Teddy would appear, followed by dying Joe.

"So, you're hungry?" Ranger asked. Oh, now he was playing along! He just had to pull me back into reality first? I shook my head no. "I'm just tired. I think I'm gonna go to bed."

Okay, so it was pretty much a fib. I was hungry, but I didn't want to eat. I wanted to be alone.

"Take the big bed," Ranger said, "I'll be working for a while longer."

I wanted Ranger to get some rest, too, but I knew that if I said anything, he'd just look at me. He always did what he wanted to do. Just like me, really. I pecked him on the cheek and then I ran my fingers over the skin I'd just kissed. "Don't stay up too late. You want to be on guard tomorrow." I was hoping I had matched his tone of voice from earlier. Ranger chuckled and hugged me close again. "Wise ass." He said before he released me.

I did my thing in the bathroom and changed into my flannel PJ's. The bed looked comfortable enough, but the fact that the house was monitored from all sides made me feel even better. That, plus the alcohol in my blood really helped me relax. Okay, so mostly the alcohol, but I felt I deserved it. I'd been crying-mess-Stephanie for too long, the world needed a break from me.

I knew that I should be up with Ranger, working on a plan, checking with the guys. Probably the reason I didn't do any of that was the same reason why I hadn't been to Morelli's house or his grave since he'd died. The confrontation would make it real. I wasn't ready for 100 percent reality yet. If I crawled into bed right now and closed my eyes, I could pretend I was at home, just another night like any other. I knew that at some point, I _had_ to face reality, but I decided tonight was not that time.

I threw back the patchwork blanket and crawled into bed. It wasn't even late; I was drunk and exhausted though. With any luck, I would even sleep without annoying dreams. It was worth a shot, I decided.

I woke up disoriented in the middle of the night. At least I thought it was the middle of the night, the room was pitch black. I didn't know what had woken me, maybe it was just a dream, but whatever it had been had me wide awake.

As my eyes adjusted, I was able to make out the room around me and slowly, my memory came back: I was in the Carriage House. With Ranger. But I was alone in the bed and, from what I could tell, in the room. I listened into the darkness. Just as I was about to dismiss the uncomfortable feeling in my stomach, I heard a noise.

I held my breath to be able to hear better. It was a voice. A voice speaking softly, almost whispering. Probably one of the Merry Men, talking to Ranger, I thought. But now my curiosity got the better of me and I had to check it out.

I got up and found my way around the room and to the door with my hands in front of me. Something heavy fell to the floor in the next room and I shrieked, instinctively cowering to the floor. My heart sped up and I felt the first tendrils of panic curl up inside me.

"Do not play games with me!"

I bit into my hand to stifle a scream. I'd have recognized that voice anywhere, and probably would for the rest of my life.

It was Teddy! He was inside the house! Where was Ranger?

I tried to calm down enough to think straight. I'd gone to bed; Ranger had still been in the living room. But Teddy's voice had sounded closer.

Ranger would have gone to bed at some point, probably in the small bedroom. The door to my bedroom was open, so that's how I must have been able to hear him. But if it had been Teddy who'd dropped whatever it was, where was Ranger?

I still had my hand at my mouth and was biting down hard on it. I wanted to scream, cry and call for Ranger all at the same time. How the hell had Teddy gotten into the house? And what if I was it? Was there another explanation as to why Teddy was in the house?

I strained my ears to hear anything, but my erratic breathing along with my galloping heartbeat made it nearly impossible to hear outside noises.

It felt like a long time until I was able to control my breathing again, but it could have been only minutes. Now I was able to hear two voices. One of them was Ranger's, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. Teddy was talking louder, but his voice was somehow muffled.

I crept closer to the bedroom door. The hallway was dark, except for a ray of light that fell through the crack in the other bedroom. So I had been right, that's where they were.

Okay, I told myself, what would Ranger do in my situation? He would get a weapon! I berated myself for leaving my bag in the living room and going to bed unarmed. Force of habit, I guessed, I usually kept my gun in my cookie jar.

Now it was on the couch in the living room. There was no way to get to it without passing the room they were in. If the crack in the door was small enough, I might be able to sneak by.

But what if it wasn't?

I took a quick look around the room, in case I had missed something earlier. Nothing had changed; there was still nothing that could be used as a weapon. I didn't even have my stiletto pumps here, they were sometimes my weapon of choice when I was surprised in my bedroom at home.

I mentally went through my bathroom inventory, but couldn't think of anything there either. I'd already tried the hairspray on Teddy and it hadn't worked. I decided it was still better than nothing and crept as noiselessly as possible back around the bed to the bathroom.

I could hear a struggle from next door, and hissed voices. Time was clearly running out if I wanted to help Ranger.

If I made it to the living room, I could alert the surveillance teams, and they would be here in a heartbeat.

I felt my way around the bathroom until I got a hold on my spray can, then I crept back to the bedroom door. I took a deep breath, praying the door wouldn't squeak, and opened it a bit wider so I could fit through. The door didn't' make a noise.

"I tried to tell you, and I tried to tell her. But you wouldn't stay away from her!" Teddy said. Were they just talking? Then why were there struggling noises? And why didn't Ranger answer?

I was in socks and put one foot in front of the other very slowly. If a floor board creaked, I was as good as dead. Well maybe not dead, but I was pretty sure I'd wish I was dead.

"You will no longer come between us!" Teddy threatened and I froze. Now that I was closer, I realized Ranger was talking, he was speaking very softly, very unlike him.

I remembered our plan. The teams had to check in with the control room every half our. We had to flick our lights when we went to bed, and from then on, a team member would walk around the house every half hour and report back. I didn't know how long I'd been awake, but it could only be a matter of minutes before the next routine check.

We just had to make it until then.

I was right in front of Ranger's bedroom now, but the door wasn't open wide enough for me to see anything. I could sense the shadow Teddy was casting, and I assumed he was standing. I shrank back when something was slammed against a wall and realized I had to keep moving.

"This will be my present for her! When she wakes up, she will be mine!" Teddy was announcing and I had to try real hard to fight back the panic in me.

The living room was dimly illuminated from some outside light, and it was enough for me to see the outline of the furniture. I tried to tune out Teddy's rambling, he had started telling Ranger all about his future with me. If I listened to that, I wasn't sure I could keep a nervous breakdown inside.

I felt around the top of the coffee table in search for Ranger's cell phone. When I couldn't find it I realized Ranger had of course taken it with him and cursed inwardly. Then I remembered my cell phone, he had given it back to me!

I knocked over an empty beer bottle and almost screamed again, but it fell almost silently on the rug under the coffee table. But the shock had been enough to speed up my heart rate again.

I crawled towards the couch on all fours and buried my face in a cushion so I could scream silently. My hand settled on my purse and I fished around in it. I did remember my gun, right? Oh God, it had to be there, only this once! I prayed to every saint I could remember and I begged for help.

I almost yelped in relief when my fingers found the barrel of the gun. I closed my hand around it and pulled it free. It was loaded, right? Ranger wouldn't have let me leave if it wasn't loaded, right? How could I check in this darkness? I forced myself to open the chamber and feel for bullets. They were all there. I blew out some air and thanked Heaven.

Now I had the gun, but could I use it? I tried to get into the Ranger mindset. Do what needs to be done. 'Yes, I can' I told myself. I realized that whether I could or could not was not the issue, I HAD to. I was the only one close enough.

I took a deep breath and pushed myself off the couch and I crept back the way I had come. Just walk towards the light, I told myself. I was trying to tell myself it would all be okay, but it didn't work. This was about as far from okay as it was going to get.

I got back to the hallway and stood in front of the door, taking slow, deep breaths.

"She's worth it, you know?" Teddy was still going on. I was so close now that I could hear them both. "Yeah, I know." Ranger said. His voice sounded pained. I tried to locate them in the room by the direction of their voices. Once I opened the door, I wouldn't have the time to look for them, I had to know where they were.

Was I going to barge in and yell "Freeze!"? Was I going to just shoot? I didn't know what the best way to do this was. There were a dozen Merry Men within a few hundred yards, and they all would know exactly what to do. I contemplated backtracking to the front door and getting help, or at least get my cell phone and call them.

"So you see how this is the only way then. For what it's worth, you were a worthy opponent." Teddy's voice had that eerie undertone again, and there was no doubt in my mind he was telling Ranger good bye. There was no time for me to run for help. It was all me.

I fought anger, panic, sadness, fear, and half a dozen other emotions, standing alone in the hallway of the small carriage house in my pajamas. And I realized it didn't matter how close the Merry Men were, Ranger depended on me this time. He had never let me down and I wasn't about to either. He needed me; my emotional outbursts had to wait.

I took another deep breath and slowly counted to three. I tried to picture a cop show, I must have seen this on TV so many times. If I could just become that chick from CSI for this one moment!

'Fuck it!' was my last coherent though after I'd reached three. I lifted my foot and slammed it into the door, slamming it open and against the wall.

At that moment, I didn't see Teddy a few feet in front of me, holding a gun to Ranger's head. I didn't see Ranger bleeding from his mouth sitting a little hunched over on the bed. The room in shambles, broken glass on the floor, none of it seemed to register.

Later, I was able to visualize it, but at that moment, I didn't see anything. I heard an unearthly scream that could have only come from me, and then I pulled the trigger until I only heard clicks. I emptied all six bullets firing straight ahead and screaming like a banshee.

TBC

A/N: Please let me know what you think. I would love to read how you would like to see the story to continue!


	16. Chapter 16

I typed as fast as I could so I wouldn't leave you hanging for too long, I hope you like this chappy.

Thank you so much for your reviews, you have no idea how much I appreciate them. I love to learn what you think of each chapter.

Stayce, ma chere, ce chapitre est pour toi! Merci beaucoup pour tout! Merci pour l'amitie, merci pour les idées, merci pour toi!!

Disclaimer: The story is mine, the characters aren't, and unlike JE, I'm not making any money off of them

Rating: R for adult language and situations. They're all adults and they talk and act like it…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 16

**M**y ears were ringing from the gunshots and everything was black. I had squeezed my eyes shut at some point and hadn't even realized it. My heart was still beating so fast, I was sure I was going to pass out. Finally, I dared to open my eyes slowly. It didn't do much good; I could barely see anything but shadows. I was just about to take a deep breath, when a loud crash behind me made me jump.

Instinctively, I turned around, my gun still raised in both hands. My brain knew it was empty, but my heart was praying for the miracle of more bullets. I kept pulling the trigger, but there was only the click-click-click of an empty chamber.

"Stand down! Don't shoot!" A voice yelled. It seemed to be coming from right behind me, but it was so distorted, I didn't know if I it was really Ranger or if I only wished it was.

Hands grabbed my arm and tried to wrestle the gun out of my hands, but I jerked back and kicked out. The hands held on to me, a lot stronger than I was.

A blinding light shone into my eyes, men were shouting. It was all a blur to me, somehow real and yet not.

I was shoved against a wall; the hands was still holding my arm, forcing it upwards.

"Stephanie!" The voice said low but firmly and with authority when its owner slammed his weight against mine so that all air was forced out of my lungs. This time, I was sure I'd heard Ranger, but I couldn't yet connect the voice to the body that was pressing me against the wall.

More lights came on and I finally saw Ranger's face inches from mine. His forehead was beaded with sweat and blood was trickling from a gash right below his eyebrow. More blood had dried on his chin. His eyes were boring into mine while he still held me immobile with his body.

It seemed to take forever for my body to follow my brain's orders to give up. I was fueled by fear and adrenaline, my body wanted to fight.

"Stephanie, look at me!" Ranger ordered and I finally willed my eyes to actually see him. Around us was chaos. More and more lights had come on, I could now make out several RangeMen in black combat mode.

My heart skipped a beat and my breath caught in my throat when I finally processed what I was seeing, that the danger was over, and I went completely limp.

Ranger took a step back and held me when I slumped against him. I closed my eyes again and waited for my heart to slow down and my senses to come back. Slowly, the ringing in my ears subsided and I was able to distinguish sounds again.

Ranger breathing close to my ear. Tank barking orders. Sirens coming closer. Boots shuffling on the floor. Radios squawking.

I opened my eyes and as they adjusted to the now blinding light, I was able to see that all RangeMen were wearing bright flashlights on their combat helmets and construction-type lamp had been set up.

I was leaning against Ranger in the hallway, right outside the smaller bedroom. And, piece by piece, I was able to fit the events of the past few minutes together. I had the feeling of being overwhelmed, like a tidal wave sweeping me away. I dug my fingers into Ranger's shoulders and broke down.

Loud, racking sobs escaped my mouth and tears were streaming down my face. Ranger pushed my head against his chest and bent down to pick me up. He carried me through the hallway into the master bedroom and put me down on the bed. I was about to protest when I felt him lying down next to me. I was holding on to him like a drowning swimmer. And that's how I felt, I was unable to get enough air into my lungs. Ranger pulled me close and whispered to me soothingly. I believe it was Spanish, but I wasn't paying attention to the words, only to his voice.

Little by little, I was able to tune out all other noises and focused only on Ranger's voice. My sobs died down and the tears finally stopped. Ranger continued to whisper, he was now rocking me slowly and stroking my hair. It seemed like hours until I was able to breathe normally again.

I pulled my head back so that I was able to see Ranger's face. It was almost completely dark in the room; the light from the hallway was dim where we were.

I swallowed and took a deep breath. "Are…are you okay?" I finally choked out. Ranger's concerned face split into a smile. "I'm fine Babe. Thanks to you. How are you feeling?"

"Ted…Teddy?" I cleared my throat to get rid of the lump that had formed in it. Ranger was still stroking my hair. "You got him," He said and pulled my head towards him again. He had his arms around me and was holding me tight, and I felt like I was wrapped in a cocoon, shielded from the outside world.

"Is he…is he…d…dead?" I asked, barely able to speak as horror started triggering new tears. I could feel Ranger shake his head. "No." He simply said and kissed my hair. "They're taking him to a hospital."

I sighed. As much as I had wanted Teddy dead ever since I'd learned what he'd done, the thought of having killed him was terrifying to me. I slowly calmed down and was able to think straight again. Ranger swept his thumb over my cheeks, wiping away the remaining tears. I managed a small smile to signal him I was feeling better.

A knock on the door made me flinch and Ranger held me tighter.

"Boss, we're ready to move out." Tank said. Ranger lifted his head. "Secure the perimeter. Meeting at 0800." He said and I heard the door close as Ranger lowered his head back down.

"Are we leaving?" I asked, my mouth at Ranger's neck. "No, Babe," He whispered, "We're gonna stay. You need to rest."

"What time is it?" I asked. I felt Ranger's chest move in silent laughter. "Time to rest." He said. I tried to lift my head to glare at him, he was still laughing quietly. "2:30" He said.

"I need to…" I said and pulled away from him slowly. I had to concentrate on every movement, as if my brain had vacated my body and was remote-controlling it. "…use the bathroom." I finished when I had made it to the edge of the bed.

I padded into the bathroom and stripped my clothes off as if they were contaminated. I sat down on the closed toilet and stared blindly into the room. I knew Ranger was going to give me all the time I needed, but I didn't want to be too far away from him for too long. He was my lifeline at the moment. I sighed when I realized it was over. Teddy wouldn't be hurting anyone else. Ranger was okay.

I was hoping a shower would help me relax, so I turned on the hot water and stood under it for as long as I could.

I could feel my thoughts clear the longer I stood under the hot stream, as if the water was washing me from the inside out. What had Ranger meant by 'We're staying'? And why hadn't he told me what exactly had happened? Okay, I realized, I hadn't asked him yet. Knowing Ranger, he would want to make sure I wanted to hear what he told me.

When I stepped out of the shower and toweled off, my mind seemed almost normal again. Well, as normal as before my Annie Oakley moment anyway. Although I still couldn't believe I had actually done it. I had shot a man before, in self-defense, but he hadn't had the kind of power over me that Teddy held. Every time I had talked to Teddy on the phone, I had broken out in cold sweat, the thought of seeing him again had terrified me. But when the situation had gotten out of hand and Ranger's life had depended on me, I had been able to act. In more than one way, I had freed myself from Teddy; he no longer had any control over me. I hoped.

I left my hair to air dry and just slashed some lotion on my face. Then I realized I'd forgotten to bring any clean clothes with me and I really didn't want to be walking around dressed only in a towel in front of Ranger.

"Um…" I said. "Got some clothes for you." Ranger said from apparently right on the other side of the door and his voice made me jump. I should have known he'd think ahead. I cracked the door open and reached out and pulled it back in when he had put some clothes in it. Just a t-shirt and my sweat pants, but exactly what I would have picked.

Suddenly I was so exhausted I doubted I could make it back to the bed. Probably the adrenaline that had me in overdrive for the past couple hours was wearing off. I leaned heavy on the door when I opened it. Ranger was sitting on the bed. He had taken his shirt off and had pulled the covers back. He got up when he saw me and gathered me in a hug.

"Go to sleep. I'm going to take a shower." He said and lightly kissed my temple before he released me.

"You'll come back, right?" I asked. What I meant was, was he going to sleep in my bed with me, but the words hadn't made it out. Ranger understood anyway. "Of course. Go to sleep." He said and I could hear the smile in his voice.

I slid under the covers and closed my eyes. But as exhausted as my body was, I couldn't fall asleep. I heard the shower running and tried to tell myself that it was safe, Ranger would be right back. But I was awake until Ranger returned and I sucked in some air at the sight of him.

He was wearing only a towel, wrapped around his hips, and by the dim light, I could see his muscles ripple with every one of his movements, the remaining water drops glistening on his skin. I hadn't given Ranger's body much thought at all lately and I had forgotten how handsome he was.

He picked up his suitcase and carried it over to the bed, then he turned on the bedside lamp and opened the suitcase. I had been surprised he had brought a suitcase and not the duffle bag I would have expected, until I learned that Ranger carried mostly equipment, not personal stuff. His laptop, spare batteries for his phone, the first aid kit, it was all in his aluminum Rimova case.

I propped myself up on my elbows to watch him. He smiled when he saw I was still awake. "Try to sleep." He said again and started rummaging through the suitcase.

Ranger found what he was looking for and began screwing the cap off a small bottle. He had some bunched-up gauze in the other hand. "Let me help you," I said and before he could argue, I sat up on the bed, crawled over to his side and took the gauze out of his hand.

"Sit down." I said. I was glad for the distraction. If I focused on Ranger's wounds, I could delay thinking about the shootout. Ranger surprised me by actually sitting down.

He leaned against the headboard and stretched his legs out over the bed.

I drenched the gauze in hydrogen peroxide and scooted closer. "This is gonna sting," I warned him and he smiled. "I'm sure," He said.

"What happened?" I asked when I started dabbing at a small cut on his cheek. In the light, I could see that he didn't have any wounds on his lower face. The blood I had seen earlier must have come from his mouth. "Does it hurt?" I tried again when Ranger didn't answer me.

"No," He just said and closed his eyes when I approached the cut above his eye. It had stopped bleeding, but it looked to me like it needed stitches. He flinched slightly when the liquid hit the open wound. Probably I would have howled in pain. I'd gotten that stuff into a tiny cut in my finger once and it had hurt like hell. I leaned in and blew on the wound gently to ease the pain, and Ranger's jaw muscle tightened. "Sorry," I said, "Almost done." But I took my time cleaning the wound, making sure I got all the blood off.

"How did you get hurt?" I asked when I was almost done. Ranger opened his eyes and looked at me, but didn't respond. I understood he was silently asking me if I was sure I wanted to hear it. I wasn't, not yet, so I let it go.

"You need to go to a hospital," I said instead when I had finished cleaning him up. Ranger inclined his head and did the almost-smile. "We'll see." He said and took the gauze and bottle from me, dropping it on the floor. He reached over and turned off the lamp. "Tomorrow, maybe." He kissed my forehead and pushed himself off the bed.

I saw him take something out of the suitcase and he dropped the towel and changed before he closed the suitcase and took it off the bed. I blushed in the dark when I realized what I wasn't seeing because of the open lid.

He lay down next to me, put his arm around me and pulled me close, turning me on my side. "Try to sleep." He whispered and kissed my earlobe. His body heat seeped into me, and with it a sense of safety and security. And finally, I allowed myself to drift off.

The door flew open and crashed against the wall behind it. A lamp on the bedside table was providing the only light in the room. Cold air blew in from the outside through the broken window. Whatever had crashed through it had made the glass shatter into thousands of pieces that were littering the floor. A gun lay on the floor, Ranger's gun. His cell phone on the bedside table next to the lamp.

Ranger was on the bed, his hands tied behind his back, he was slightly bent forward and his expression looked pained. A few feet to his right, Teddy was standing, dressed in a black cat suit, feet apart. A black ski mask was pushed up on his forehead. He was aiming a gun at Ranger and his face was contorted into a gruesome mask. His upper lip was curled into a sneer.

When the door flew open, Teddy whipped his head around, his eyes momentarily widening in shock.

I held the gun in both hands, my arms slightly bent at the elbow, the way Eddie had taught me.

I squeezed the trigger and gasped as the first bullet hit the lamp, knocking it off the nightstand and onto the floor. The only light in the room now was the faint illumination from the streetlights, or even the moon, whatever it was that shone in through the window.

I pulled the trigger again and saw Teddy jerk back. At the same time, Ranger fell to his left and lay completely still when I kept firing. Another bullet hit the bed, the next brought Teddy to his knees and I could see blood spurting from his leg. The fifth bullet hit the bedpost and the last one grazed Teddy's right hand, making him drop his gun and cry out in pain. I squeezed my eyes shut and kept pulling the trigger, not processing that the gun was empty. It all happened in a matter of seconds, but it seemed to stretch out as if in slow motion, every movement, every detail.

My eyes flew open when I heard a groan and I saw Teddy reaching for his gun. "You bitch!" He shrieked and pulled the trigger.

I bolted upright in bed, breathing hard, shaking and drenched in sweat. Immediately, Ranger sat up and put his arm around me.

"Just a dream, Babe, it's over." He said and stroked my hair. He was right. It was a dream, but at the same time, it wasn't. It was exactly what had happened, my eyes had registered it all and my mind had replayed it for me. And now I knew why I had blocked it out. When Ranger had slumped to his side, I had been sure I'd hit him, and yet I had been unable to stop shooting.

I covered my face with my hands and tried to take deep breaths as panic and terror curled up inside me. It was as if part of my brain was conspiring against my resolve to go with denial.

"Hey, shhhhh…" Ranger soothed beside me, rubbing his hand over my shoulder. "It's over. You're safe."

I took a couple shallow breaths and was able to fight the tears back. I stopped shaking as my heart rate slowed down. He was right; it was over. Probably I would have to live with the nightmares for some time, but at least they weren't as heartbreaking as the ones I'd had of Joe. This one was just plain terrifying.

Ranger threaded his fingers through my hair and gently pushed me back into the pillow. "It'll get easier." He said softly and pulled the covers back up over my chest. "Trust me, I know."

There was a lot about Ranger that I didn't know. I knew he had been in the Army, but I didn't know where or what he had done. I suspected he'd seen a lot worse than I had hours before and if he said it would get easier, I believed him.

"I thought I'd killed you." I said, my voice strained from the effort to hold back the tears. Ranger pushed himself up on his elbow so that we were face to face. "But you didn't," he said and ran his hand over my cheek, "I'm okay."

I nodded weakly. How could I explain to him that it had been so real to me? I just _knew_ he was dead and that I'd killed him. In that split-second, it had felt as if my heart was ripped out of my body and I had died with him. Even now my eyes stung with tears at the memory.

Ranger pulled me close and I rested my head on his shoulder. "It'll get easier." He said again and ran his hand up and down my back. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to find my way back to denial land again.

He kept whispering soothing words to me and running his hand up and down my back, and that eventually lulled me back to sleep when I could already see the sunrise brightening the room.

I woke up lying on my side with Ranger's arm draped around me. I was still tired and my whole body ached, but I was unable to sleep any longer. I could hear Ranger breathe deep and regular, he was still asleep. Sunlight filtered in through a crack in the curtains and the house was so quiet; it made the events of the night before seem even more surreal.

The alarm on Ranger's watch beeped and he stirred behind me. He tightened the grip of his arm around me and blew out a breath. It tickled my skin and I realized we must have looked like the picture of peace.

"How're you feeling?" Ranger asked softly when he had stopped the alarm. "I'm okay," I lied. "You will be." Ranger said and pulled away from me. He stretched and got up. "We're gonna have a powwow in fifteen minutes, do you want to be part of it?" He asked.

I rolled onto my back to face him and yawned, thinking about my answer. Did I want to relive the night again? I knew they were going to go over all the events in detail, it was standard procedure. And I did want to know what had happened, how Teddy had managed to break in, how he was able to tie Ranger up, how Ranger had lived it. But knowing would make it harder to deny it.

"It's okay if you want to sit this one out, you know." Ranger said and sat back down on the bed. "No, I'm in," I said and nodded for emphasis. Dammit, I was going to see this through! For Joe. For Ranger. For me.

"Proud of you Babe." Ranger said and tugged a stray curl of my hair before he got up and disappeared into the bathroom. The funny thing was, I was beginning to be proud of myself. I'd done something I never thought I was capable of and I had made it out alive. The last time I had been proud of myself was when I'd told my ex-husband to go to hell after our divorce.

I didn't have time to take a shower before the meeting, so I just got some underwear and redressed. Ranger was in the kitchen making coffee when I came into the living room. I had dreaded leaving the bedroom, not knowing what the rest of the house would look like. The door to the small bedroom was closed and the front door was different. The Merry Men must have replaced it before they left. The living room didn't look any different than the night before.

Ranger poured the coffee and brought the cups over to the living room, placing mine on the coffee table.

"You ready?" He asked, taking his cell phone off his utility belt. He was once again dressed all in black and his hair was still wet from the shower.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I said and sat up straight, taking my coffee cup, Ranger nodded and dialed, then he put the phone on speaker and put it on the coffee table. He sat down next to me and took my hand.

"Target checking in," He said when the control room answered. Woody had been released from the hospital and had joined Tank and Bobby for the meeting in the control room. The only other teams left in Point Pleasant were Cal and Junior next door to Ashton and two Merry Men across the street from the guesthouse.

Since Ashton hadn't done anything against the law, there was nothing we could do but watch him. Hal had dialed in from the hospital where he was keeping watch over Teddy. When everybody's attendance was confirmed, Ranger started the meeting. I let out a breath I wasn't aware of holding when every Rangeman assigned to the job was present. That had to mean nobody had gotten hurt the night before, right?

Tank started his report at 10 PM the night before, when the third shift had taken over. Ranger had signed off for the night around 11 and had gone to bed. As it turned out, Teddy had beaten RangeMan at their own game: he'd hacked into the cell tower and rerouted his cell phone call so that it appeared on the caller ID to originate from the control room. He had then called Bobby in the guesthouse and sent him to check on something on the first floor. When Bobby left his post, Teddy had disabled the motion sensors at the back of the carriage house and had tricked the cameras with a photograph. A third guy no one had known about had zapped Bobby with a stun gun. The surveillance team on Arnold was sure no one had approached the guesthouse from the outside, at least not from the front. Since Bobby was unable to describe his attacker, we had no lead on him or her. The only thing they were sure of was that it hadn't been Ashton, since he had been in his motel room all night.

Ranger took over at this point. While Bobby was out and he was hidden from the team on Arnold, Teddy had smashed the bedroom window with a rock, and had tazed Ranger before the shards had hit the floor. When he had come to, Ranger's hands had been tied and Teddy was waving the gun in front of him, making the speech I had partially heard. When I had barged in, Ranger had taken cover until the shooting was over, then he had been able to reach his knife and free himself. He was able to get me out of the way just before the troops started world war three, at least that's what it sounded like to me.

I could imagine every RangeMan on the call hanging their head. They had let Ranger down and they knew it. We had all underestimated Teddy's technical abilities, since nothing in his profile had pointed at it. At this point, it wasn't even clear if Teddy had more than two men on his team.

When Bobby had come around, he had immediately alerted all teams and when they approached the carriage house, they'd heard the gunshots and stormed in.

"Suspect was on the floor, unarmed and unconscious." Tank finished the report. I shook my head in disbelief. I had been so sure that with all of RangeMan's resources, all bases were covered. When Teddy had overwhelmed Lester and Woody, he was just playing with them. He had known the extent of the surveillance the whole time, I was sure of it now.

The team at the motel was still on Ashton duty, and the team on Arnold would stay in place, since it was possible Teddy's other helpers were still out there, although no one had seen or heard anyone.

I was pretty sure we only had to worry about Teddy, Ashton didn't seem to be doing anything without orders. But after the night I'd just made it through, I didn't want to take any chances.

Teddy had been taken to a nearby hospital and RangeMan had alerted the local cops, he would be arraigned as soon as he was able to move again.

"Stay on location at the hospital," Ranger ordered, "We will be offline until we take off from location. Check in intervals remain, and report all suspicious activity." With that, everyone was dismissed.

Ranger flipped the phone shut and clipped it back onto his belt. I cut my eyes to him but his face was expressionless. I was pretty sure he was pissed. He had gone to bed, relying on the team, and they had let him down. And there was a chance he would have been killed before they arrived, if it hadn't been for me. I assumed the mission was as fucked up as any RangeMan mission could get. As far as I was concerned though, it wasn't all bad. We had Teddy. Everyone was alive.

"Everyone is okay." I tried to point out. Ranger looked up and his eyes met mine. "No," He said in a flat voice, "Not everyone is okay. I have a man in the hospital, another SAH, and some punk-ass orderly just found every possible weakness in my organization and waved it in my face."

This was the angriest I'd ever seen Ranger. I didn't know how to argue his point either, he was right. Here I was trying to show him the glass was half full and he made it clear that the glass was indeed completely empty. So I tried the opposite direction. "Don't forget you got your ass saved by a _girl_…" I said that last word with as much 5th grade as I could. Ranger looked like he was thinking about gasping, but I thought I'd gotten through to him. There was the hint of a smile on his face.

"All right then, _we're _okay," I said, "Apart from a few cuts and bruises, we're fine, right? Right?" I elbowed his side to get a reaction from him. He finally looked at me, his lips curled in an almost-smile. "Are you pep-talking me?" He asked and raised an eyebrow.

"I guess I am," I said, "How about that?" Ranger chuckled. We both knew it was usually the other way around. "I guess it's not that bad if you still have your sense on humor." He said and pulled me closer to him.

"Truth is, you saved the mission, Babe." He said with his chin on my head. I was speechless. Ranger was giving _me_ credit for saving _his_ mission.

"You would have done the same for me." I said softly.

"You bet," He said. Then he tilted my head back and kissed me.

TBC

A/N: I hope all your questions were answered. Teddy is out of the picture, right? What do you think?


	17. Chapter 17

Thank you very much for your reviews. I appreciate your feedback so much!

A special thanks to Stayce for reading, editing, brainstorming…ah heck, for everything!

Disclaimer: I checked, I still don't own anything but the plot

Rating: PG13. Adults talk and act like adults…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 17

**T**he kiss started slow and friendly, almost shyly, like a first date kiss. But then there was nothing timid about the way his lips lingered on mine. Ranger tightened his arms around me and traced the outline of my lips with his tongue, teasing them. I put my hands flat on his chest and my initial instinct was to push him away in shock, instead, I fisted my hand into his shirt. His tongue slid between my lips and they parted on their own, I had no control over them.

When Ranger's tongue met mine, a shot of electricity went through me from the tip of my tongue to my toes. I sighed into his mouth and wrapped my arms around his neck.

Then, out of nowhere, and with a bang, the memory of Ranger's rejection came back. The way he had pushed me away when I needed him so much. The way it had hurt.

I jerked away from Ranger and jumped up. "No!" I said, my voice shrill. I didn't want to give him the opportunity to reject me again. These past few days, I had worked hard at gaining control.

"I'm sorry," Ranger almost whispered, "I didn't…" I cut him off. "Let's just forget it," I said, "I need more coffee."

I took my cup off the coffee table and almost ran into the kitchen. Of course I wouldn't be able to forget it, but I could avoid talking about it.

I tried not to let it show how nervous I was, but my hand was shaking and I spilled coffee all over the counter. I grunted in frustration and reached for the paper towels, but Ranger caught my wrist midway and turned me around to face him. I hadn't even heard him approach.

"Steph," He started, and I tried to pull my hand free, focusing my eyes on it. "Look at me, Steph," He said again, his voice soft. I realized I was overreacting, so I swallowed and met his gaze.

"I'm sorry. I got carried away, I…" He looked like he was searching for the right thing to say. Instead of remembering how good the kiss had felt, all I could think of was the humiliation of his rejection. "It's okay," I said, "Want some more coffee, too?"

Ranger took both of my hands and turned me to face him. "Steph, I'm not sorry I kissed you. I'm sorry I surprised you like that." He said, his eyes boring into mine. I had to lower my eyes and was now staring at his chest. I didn't know what to say. What was he saying? _He_ had pushed _me_ away in his apartment. "You said 'no'." I argued weakly, finally daring to lift my eyes again and now Ranger looked confused. "Let's just forget it," I tried again and wriggled my wrists to free them. But Ranger held on. "What are you taking about?" He asked.

God, why didn't the phone ring or better yet, why didn't a Merry Man barge in? Anything to get out of this situation!

"How long are you planning on staying here?" I asked, my last attempt at changing the subject. Ranger shook his head slightly and blew out an exasperated breath. He let go of my hands and took a step back. He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head again. His eyes never left mine.

"I was thinking we could take today to get some rest after the excitement of the last couple days." He said. I just nodded and finished pouring my coffee. I wanted to say he had an interesting way of resting, but I bit back that remark. I was going to follow my own advice and forget it ever happened.

"I want to go home." I said when I took my cup and returned to the couch. Ranger followed me and sat down beside me. I could tell he was watching me, but I didn't look up.

"It's over, right? We got Teddy. It's time I got back anyway." I said, trying hard to keep my voice steady. What I really wanted to do was confront Ranger, ask him what the kiss had meant, if it meant anything.

We had kissed before, it wasn't like it was new. We had touched, and we had flirted. But all that was before Joe had died. After Joe's death, Ranger had pushed me away. And now I couldn't bring myself to ask Ranger about it, afraid he would hurt me again.

"Okay," He finally said and got up. I thought I heard some emotion in his voice that I couldn't name, but then I figured it was just my imagination. Ranger didn't do emotions, I reminded myself.

He picked up his cell phone and gave the update that we were leaving Point Pleasant. He ordered the team to stay on Ashton and the team on the street to follow us. Then he flipped the phone shut and disappeared into the bedroom. I put my cup down, pulled my legs up and curled into the corner of the couch. Shit, I thought. Whatever I had said, I'd pissed off Ranger.

He came back a short while later with my duffle bag and his suitcase. "Let's go," He simply said and unlocked the door. "Shouldn't we…" I gestured at the mess in the kitchen and the coffee cups, I couldn't find a better way to express my confusion.

"It's taken care of," Ranger said, "You ready?"

What the hell? I'd said I wanted to go home _today_, not right this second. And why was he mad at me? I opened my mouth to ask him just that, but I couldn't bring out a sound. His face was expressionless, but a muscle in his jaw was twitching. So I picked up my bag and walked past him, opening the front door.

The drive back to Trenton was the longest one of my life. Neither of us said a word. Not unusual for Ranger, very unusual for me. I didn't' know what he expected from me. Did he want me to apologize? I didn't know what to think anymore. I didn't understand his sudden mood change, but most of all, I didn't understand why I was making such a big deal over what happened. As if I didn't have more important things to think about. Maybe it was my new denial strategy, I wondered. Focus on the least important thing. Except it didn't feel unimportant, I was still in a state.

We were almost in Trenton when I realized I was probably just feeling guilty. I had kissed Ranger and it had felt good! I wasn't supposed to feel good. I shook my head at how much sense that didn't make, but I was done thinking about it.

Ranger left the highway and turned towards Haywood. I finally found my voice again. "I'd rather go home," I said.

"I know." Ranger replied and slowed to pull into RangeMan's garage. He remoted the gate open and parked the Cayenne.

"Then why aren't you taking me home?" I asked, irritated by Ranger's behavior. He killed the engine and looked at me for the first time since we had left Point Pleasant. "It's not safe." He said and turned to leave the car, but I grabbed his arm to hold him back.

"If I come in, are you planning on talking to me again?" I asked. I had no idea where that had come from, it was as if something had taken over my brain and made it my mouth say things. Ranger raised an eyebrow, but his expression remained unreadable. I tried again. "Ranger, what's going on?"

Ranger held my gaze. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

Huh? To say I was confused was a gross understatement. I tried to think back to our conversation at the carriage house, I couldn't find the one thing I'd said that would upset Ranger so much.

I did a palms-up. "Back up," I said. I had tried to avoid the whole topic but this was too messed up. We had to talk. "Why are you mad at me? What did I say?"

Ranger's eyes widened slightly. "Babe, I'm not mad at you!" he said, reaching out to touch my face. "I'm trying to give you space."

I shook my head in disbelief. It felt like I had stepped into an alternate universe, or like I had stepped into the theater in the middle of the movie. I wanted to rewind the day to the moment we'd shared when we first woke up. Somehow that seemed ages ago.

I took a deep breath to gain control over my emotions, but it was no good. "As I recall, _you_ rejected _me_, Ranger. You made it quite clear that you didn't want me the other day. Then you kiss me! How am I supposed to feel about that?" The words were out of my mouth before I knew what I was saying. I thought I saw surprise in Ranger's eyes, but it was hard to tell in the dim light of the car.

He took a deep breath and thunked his head on the steering wheel. "Let me get this straight," He said slowly, turning back to me, and I wasn't sure I wanted to hear what he was going to say. I bit my lower lip nervously. "You think I don't want you?" I thought I heard his surprise that time. When I didn't respond, he shook his head.

"Let's not have this conversation right now. We're gonna go upstairs, we're gonna have lunch and then we're gonna talk." He said and got out of the car.

I agreed with his first two suggestions. It was getting cold in the car with the motor off and I was starving. But I didn't know if I wanted to talk to Ranger any more. I got out of the car and met Ranger at the trunk as he was taking out our luggage. Seeing my duffle bag, I wondered if he had taken the time to pack all my stuff or if he had simply grabbed the bag.

"I got it," He said when I reached out for my bag, then he closed the trunk and walked towards the elevator.

His face was blank when we rode up to the seventh floor, and I was feeling more and more uncomfortable. I had the sudden urge to crawl into my bed and shut out the world by pulling the blanket over my head. I was so lost in that thought that I flinched when the car stopped and the doors opened.

Once we were in Ranger's apartment, he dropped his keys into the dish on the sideboard and flicked on the lights. The silence between us seemed oppressive.

Ranger dropped our luggage in the hallway and went to the kitchen, taking off his utility belt. I followed him and sat down at the breakfast bar. He had his back to me while he was at the fridge. "Want a beer?" He asked and I almost jumped at the sudden sound of his voice. "Sure." I said as calm as possible. He turned around and twisted the caps off two Corona bottles and handed me one, then he walked over to the intercom and asked Ella to prepare lunch for two. Ella asked if I was the guest and Ranger replied "Yes, Miss Plum is joining me for lunch." Probably that meant Ella was going to prepare something other than rabbit food, at least I hoped so, I was starving.

"Let's wait in the living room," He suggested and left the kitchen. On his way to the living room, he called the control room and updated them on our location, although I was sure they had seen us on the monitors. Still, Ranger stuck to the protocol.

I followed him into the living room, taking a long pull from my beer. I should have felt wrong to be drinking when it was barely noon, and shocked to find Ranger drinking at this hour, but I didn't care.

We were both sitting on his black leather couch and the silence stretched between us. I was running my fingers over the condensation on the bottle, just to be doing something.

"Okay," Ranger finally said and put his beer on the coffee table. "You think I rejected you." I nodded, my eyes still on the bottle in my hands. "When you were grief-stricken and had just survived a day in the company of a homicidal maniac and thought you could numb your senses with sex, you thought I rejected you? When I could have taken advantage of you because you didn't know what you were doing, you thought I rejected you?" His voice was calm, belying his cruel words.  
Tears were starting to run down my cheeks. Every time he repeated it, it felt like he was slapping me.

"Babe," He said and took the bottle out of my hands. He put his arm around me and pulled me towards him. I tried to pull free, but Ranger wrapped his other arm around me as well and embraced me. "You couldn't be more wrong," He said softly, "I love you."

I nodded against his chest, still unable to stop the tears. "I know," I said and sniffled, "In your own way."

He pulled back and put a finger under my chin so I would look up. "I don't think this is the right time to discuss this," He said, "But I wanted you to know I'm not mad at you and I didn't reject you. I would never do anything to hurt you, Babe, unless it's for your own good." I snorted at that but bit back a comment. I had heard enough and didn't want to talk about it anymore, no now, not ever. I finally managed to pull away from him and got up. "I'm gonna freshen up before lunch." I said and went into the bedroom.

I let out a long breath when I closed the door behind me. When I'd asked Ranger to drop me off at my apartment, I didn't really think he would do it. Although the danger was over, the mission was still technically ongoing. Ranger would see it as his duty to keep me safe. But I had to try, I needed to be alone.

I sighed and sat down on the edge of Ranger's bed. I was quite proud of myself for not bawling my eyes out again. Yes, there had been some crying, but I had been able to get it under control pretty fast. Now I felt too drained to cry anymore. I heard voices from the living room and figured lunch had arrived.

Just as I was thinking about getting comfortable in my thinking position, the door opened.

"Sorry, but we're not done yet, Steph." Ranger said and sat down next to me. I stared at my hands in my lap. "I am done." I said, my voice flat, and truer words were never spoken.

"Babe," He said and tried to take my hand into his, but I jerked it away. "Please Ranger," I said, "I need some time alone." I was sure he'd understand, he'd always given me my space in the past weeks.

He did get up, but instead of leaving, he squatted down in front of me so we were eye to eye and I couldn't avoid looking at him.

"You'll get all the time you need," He said, resting his hands on my knees, "But not before we got this one cleared up. Look at me, Steph." I had tried to lower my eyes and he had immediately caught it. When my eyes found his again, I saw the emotion he didn't usually let me or anyone else see. He lifted his right hand and cupped my face. "I didn't reject you, Babe. I was trying to keep you from making a big mistake. I know you were desperate, and that it wasn't what you wanted. You'd regret it by now. I had to be strong for both of us. You have no idea how hard it was for me."

I sucked in some air. Ranger? Sharing his feelings? With me? His words almost convinced me I _was_ in that alternate reality. I didn't know how to respond. I went over what he said again in my head to try and make sense to it.

"It's okay," I finally said, "I guess I made a big deal out of nothing." Ranger looked like he was thinking about smiling. "I can assure you, that night in my kitchen was the last thing on my mind when I kissed you this morning."

I nodded. "It wasn't the first thing on my mind either…" I said and Ranger's ghost of a smile turned in to a full-on smile. I decided this wasn't the time to bring up that he had acted weird just before we left and on the way back. As far as I was concerned, he still had some explaining to do, but I was tired of talking.

Ranger stood up and offered me his hand. "Lunch is here. You must be starving." Obviously he'd picked up some of my traits. I could have sworn I heard 'We're good, right?'. Ranger was starting to express himself through food. I smiled at that thought and took his hand.

I had been right about Ella. Ranger had something salad-y, and for me, there was a hamburger with tater tots. Ranger looked at my plate and shook his head slightly. I chose to ignore him and dug in.

After lunch, it was time for yet another meeting, but I chose to sit this one out. Instead, I opted for a nap. I hadn't gotten more than a couple hours sleep the night before and I was exhausted. I told Ranger to wake me if there were any new developments and padded back to the bedroom.

This time, I didn't get to think much in my thinking position; I fell asleep shortly after rolling onto my back, fully clothed, on top of the covers.

I woke up when it was already getting dark outside, but for once, I wasn't disoriented. I knew immediately I was in Ranger's bedroom, on the sheets that smelled faintly like him. I took a deep breath to clear my thoughts. I couldn't quite remember the dream I'd had, but it had left me sad somehow.

It was 5:30 according to the bedside alarm clock. I wondered why Ranger had let me sleep so long as I got up and did my thing in the bathroom.

I discovered one possible reason right away: Ranger wasn't in the apartment. The lights were on, but Ranger wasn't home. Since there was no note, I figured he was down on the 5th floor catching up on his work. He'd spent the better part of over a week with me, helping me, he had to have a lot of work backed up. I didn't feel guilty, exactly, but I felt bad enough, so I didn't call him or went looking for him.

Now I had a chance to catch up on my life. I could return my phone calls, check with Connie if she had any new skips for me, get back to normal. The problem was, I didn't want to do any of it. I had no idea how to go about getting back to 'normal', I didn't even know what normal was anymore. But if I didn't start working again soon, I wouldn't be able to pay my rent and my other bills. So very soon, I would have to face reality again. Teddy was out of the picture; it should be safe for me on the streets of Trenton, at least until my next stalker would inevitably come along. When Ranger got back, I would discuss with him when I could return to my apartment, I decided. I missed my apartment, and I missed Rex. Yeah, in a lot of ways, I missed my normal life. I guess normal is not the right term for it, my life hasn't been normal in a long time, but you know what I mean, the every day thing.

Except of course, I would never return to that. My every day life had involved Morelli.

I told myself to quit whining and went into the kitchen in search of food. Ranger didn't have any comfort food in his fridge, so I settled for a beer.

I grabbed my bag and settled on the couch in the living room, suddenly curious as to why I hadn't gotten any phone calls. I fished out my cell phone and realized that its battery had died. I couldn't call my voice mail, because I hadn't asked Ranger how many of the messages he had deleted. There was a chance Joe's message was still on there. Suddenly I remembered our meeting that first day, I was pretty sure Ranger had said Joe had called twice. I didn't have the chance to ask Ranger about it. Now I definitely didn't want to listen to my voice mail messages.

I was slumped on the couch, nursing my beer and trying hard not to think about anything. I knew I had to call my mom, she hadn't heard from me in days. But she would ask where I had been and I hadn't made up a good story to answer that question yet. I definitely needed to call Lula though, Tank wasn't the kind of guy who would share his workday with her, so she was probably worried. Maybe I'd set aside an hour to call everyone and get it over with. Maybe.

Okay, so the truth was, I wasn't ready to talk to people from my 'normal life' yet. I told myself a day more wouldn't matter and dropped my cell phone back into my bag.

The intercom on the wall chirped and I got up. The Merry Men knew were Ranger was, and if it was Ella, I could talk to her. It wasn't like I was picking up Ranger's phone, there was a chance this call was for me.

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty!" Ranger greeted me when I picked up, but there was no smile in his voice. I grimaced. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"You looked like you needed your sleep." Ranger said. I couldn't argue with that, I felt much better than before the nap. I grunted noncommittally and asked, "What's going on? Any news?"

Ranger didn't respond for a beat and my stomach clenched uncomfortably. "We're having a meeting in 15. I think you should join us." I could clearly envision his face as he said this, he had used the tone of voice that went with the blank face. Uh-oh. This meant trouble, I was almost certain. "Is something going on?" I asked. The intercom clicked twice, as if Ranger had to think about his response. "Yes," He finally said, "We'll discuss it in the meeting." Shit!

"I'll be right down!" I said and headed for the door. I pressed the elevator call button and danced nervously from one foot to the other while I waited. A hundred scenarios were going through my head of what could have gone wrong. Did Lester's condition worsen? Did Ashton make a move?

I almost took the stairs because I couldn't wait any longer when the elevator's doors pinged open. I pressed the 5 button impatiently and tried to keep my breathing under control.

"What is it?" I yelled as soon as I stepped into the control room. Bobby and Junior turned away from the monitors to face me. "Hey Steph," Bobby said and Junior waved. "What happened?" I asked again, a little more impatient this time. Junior cut his eyes to Bobby and Bobby shook his head almost imperceptibly.

"The boss is gonna want to tell you himself." Bobby finally said. I huffed and stormed towards Ranger's office. When I yanked the door open, I almost collided with Ranger. He grabbed my elbows and steadied me before I ran into this chest, that is.

"You okay?" He asked before he slowly let go, making sure I was stable again. "No, I'm not okay!" I said, my voice shrill now. "Why won't anyone tell me what's going on?"

Ranger rubbed his jaw and I could tell he was trying to decide whether to tell me or not. "Ranger." I said and tried my best glare. "Tell me!"

"Where's Tank?" Ranger asked Bobby. Bobby went straight to the intercom. "Calling him now, boss."

"Get everyone into the board room for the meeting. Now." Ranger said, his voice completely calm, in charge. He took my elbow and led me to the conference room. I glared at him again but his face was a blank mask and I knew he wouldn't tell me before the meeting, so I sat down next to him and tried to wait.

Bobby came in next, followed by Tank and Hal. Probably Junior had to stay at the monitors and Cal's team was still with Ashton, I figured. But I couldn't keep track of their schedules.

Tank sat down and pressed a button on the Polycom phone in the middle of the table and dialed a number. Woody entered the conference room just as Tank had verified that Cal was on the line. I jumped up and threw my arms around Woody spontaneously, momentarily forgetting my anxiety. I had never been so happy to see him. His face was still a little bruised, but I didn't see any bandages. He looked a little surprised at my display of affection, but hugged me back one-armed. "How're you feeling?" I asked when I released him. "I'm okay," He said on a smile, "How are you?" I'd never talked to Woody much, so I didn't know anything about him, I was just happy to see him alive. "How's Lester?" I asked. "Still a little under the weather," Woody said. RangeMan humor.

Ranger cleared his throat behind me to signal he was ready for the meeting and I quickly went back to my seat. Woody winked at me from across the table.

Hal gave out folders to everyone while Cal was reporting that there was nothing to report on his end. Ashton had left Point Pleasant around noon and was now back at his apartment. The Merry Men were parked outside.

I bit my lip to keep my mouth shut. Who cared about nothing to report? On the other hand, three of my possible scenarios were not the big news. All Merry Men on the case were present and accounted for and Ashton was back in Trenton.

I cut my eyes to Ranger nervously and he nodded at Tank. "Listen up!" Tank said, "We have a code red. Suspect escaped from Jersey Shore Medical Center at 17:25."

I gasped. "What???" I shrieked and Ranger put his hand on my forearm. "Easy, Babe," He said. "We're on it."

"You have him?" I asked, still in my shrieking voice. Tank looked a little annoyed, probably because I had interrupted him, but I didn't give a shit about that. "We have two teams in the area," He said when he realized I wouldn't let it go.

"I thought he was being watched?" I said, glaring at Ranger. "Ram was outside his room when a nurse entered and reported him missing. He never passed the cops at the end of the hall." Ranger said.

My mind went blank. Teddy had escaped. I'd thought he'd be unable to move, and he had outsmarted us again.

"Steph?" Ranger nudged me gently, but I still jumped. "Teddy has escaped." I almost whispered. "We're on it, Babe." Ranger said.

"How can you say that?" I screamed, unable to control my terror, "You just said you have no idea where he is! For all we know, he could be planting bombs around the building as we speak!"

I could hear the Merry Men suck in some air, but they clearly left this to Ranger and myself, not daring to interrupt.

"Steph, calm down." Ranger said, a little louder but still with a steady voice. He put his hand on my forearm again, but I yanked it away. I was in full freight train mode now. I jumped up fuming.

Tank got up and blocked the door. They knew me to well around here, I had been thinking about storming out. Actually, I was ready to abandon the whole mission and do my own thing again. I was sick of meetings, I was sick of sitting around doing nothing and most of all, I was sick of being cooped up and being monitored all day.

Ranger got up, closing the distance between us. "Babe, please." He said and reached for my hand again. I knew I was making a scene and everyone was watching me, but I couldn't calm down. I was scared, but I was also furious. I was also disappointed because things kept going wrong. RangeMan was supposed to be perfect, fuck-ups like this weren't supposed to happen.

I took a deep breath and try to come up with plan B. "Continue this meeting without me," I said and I could see Ranger's eyes widen minimally. Probably he hadn't expected me to calm down. "I'm gonna go upstairs and take a shower." I turned and walked to the door, raising my eyebrows at Tank. It was an empty gesture, of course. If Tank set his mind on not letting me through, there was no way for me to move him. He glanced at Ranger behind me and obviously got the okay to let me go, because he stepped aside.

I left the conference room and closed the door behind me as slowly as possible, then I forced a smile onto my face when I turned towards the control room where Junior was still manning the monitors and phones.

"They're gonna be in there for a while," I said and rolled my eyes at Junior. I would have never fooled Tank with this routine, much less Ranger, but Junior didn't know me well. "I'm gonna go for some air and pick up some take-out for dinner." I said, trying hard to keep my voice chipper, and turned to the key hooks where the car keys to the RangeMan fleet were.

I thought I saw confusion in Junior's eyes, so I tried to be as smooth as possible, grabbed a key and sent him a finger wave. "Ranger said it was okay." I said for good measure and walked out of the control room. As soon as I was out of Junior's sight, I rushed to the stair case and bolted down the steps.

If there wasn't anyone in the garage, I might just get away with this, I thought. I didn't know where I was going or what I was going to do once I got there, but I was doing something!

TBC

A/N: Is Steph doing the right thing? She would be on her own again…Please let me know what you think.


	18. Chapter 18

You guys are the best! I appreciate your feedback more than you can imagine! Thank you so much for all your reviews!

Stayce-Schnuckel, Kuss und Knuddel! Thank you so much for turning this chapter around!

This chapter is for problemcat in the hopes that everyone feels better by now!

Angst warning, just to be safe!

Disclaimer: I checked, I still don't own anything but the plot

Rating: PG13. Adults talk and act like adults…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer 

Chapter 18

**I**t occurred to me as I was flying down the stairs that I had nothing on me except the key ring with the car keys and a gizmo to remote the garage gate open. My bag, my wallet, even my dead cell phone were all upstairs and I couldn't risk wasting the time to get them.

I got to the ground floor, completely out of breath, my heart hammering in my chest and black dots dancing in front of my eyes. I yanked the metal fire door open, lost my grip and immediately fell back onto the stairs on my butt. Crap! I recovered pretty quickly, but couldn't get my feet to cooperate with the rest of my body, so I tripped and fell flat on my stomach, knocking the air out of me.

For a moment I just lay on the concrete floor, trying to take a breath. When my vision cleared, I realized I was no longer holding the car keys and I looked around for them. I got up painfully and searched the ground, finally finding the key ring by the last step. I snatched it up and entered the garage.

Four black RangeMan SUVs were parked side by side to my left; behind them were Ranger's Cayenne and the Turbo. I had no clue which keys I had grabbed, and I knew I didn't have the time to try them in all cars until they fit.

When I finally remembered I was holding the key with the remote-entry thingy on it, I giggled nervously. I pressed the button and rushed to the SUV that had beeped, yanking the door open.

I was going to just ram the key in the ignition and take off, but I had to catch my breath first. In addition, Stupid Stephanie and Smart Stephanie were having it out in my head. Smart Stephanie kept insisting that I go back upstairs while Stupid Stephanie kept telling me I was better off alone. I finally told Smart Stephanie to shut up and turned the key. There were some clicks but other than that, nothing happened. I grunted in frustration and banged my fist on the steering wheel. It took me three tries to remember to put my foot down on the brake pedal before I turned the key. I chalked that up to my nervousness but briefly wondered if it was such a great idea to drive if I couldn't remember how.

My hand was shaking so violently, I had to take a few deep breaths before I could operate the gearshift properly. The SUV jumped back when I stepped on the gas. I was lucky I had put it in reverse, or else I would have crashed into the concrete wall in front of me.

I could see movement out of the corner of my eyes, men running, but I didn't stop to check it out. The faster I could get out of the garage, the less chance they'd have to catch me. I realized that I probably couldn't go far; I'd just have to hide somewhere close until I could catch my breath. If I drove around like this, I'd wrap the car around the nearest light pole.

I threw the car into drive and shot forward. There was a thump and I caught a glimpse of black in my peripheral vision. I hoped I hadn't hit anybody as I sped towards the gate. Unfortunately, I couldn't figure out how to aim the key fob at the reader while the key was in the ignition, so I wasted precious seconds trying to yank the key out. I finally remembered that the car was still in drive so I shifted into park and finally got the damned thing out.

I was breathing hard when I finally aimed the gizmo at the reader. Nothing happened. I tried it again, but the red light stayed on and didn't change to green, which would let the gate open. I tried to wave it in front of the electronic eye, pressed the key fob against it, and finally I tried to slide it over. The red light just glared at me. Either I'd grabbed a bad key fob or the control room had taken over control of the gate. Shit.

When nothing happened, I really only saw two options. I could get out of the car and run. But then I'd be on foot and Ranger would catch me within a block. I needed the car. So that left only one option: back up and ram the gate with the full force of the SUV's 200-plus horsepower. I'd only ever seen that stunt in movies and I had no idea if it would work with the garage gate, but I was quickly becoming desperate.

I threw the gearshift in reverse and hit the gas pedal. I could see Merry Men to my right, waving their arms over their heads, shouting. I tried to ignore them. Instead, I took one last deep breath, put the car in drive and prayed.

I had backed up as far as I could, about twenty-five yards from the gate. It had to be enough. I grabbed the steering wheel with both hands and pushed the gas pedal down hard. The tires screeched and the car jumped forward. Like in slow motion, I could see the gate coming at me and I panicked when I realized I'd forgotten to put on my seat belt. Obviously it was too late now. I was so close to the gate that I braced myself for the impact. Out of nowhere, at least as far as I could tell, Ranger stepped between the SUV and the gate. I screamed. In the split-second that I saw him, I thought I caught a glimpse of the look in his eyes. There was only determination, no fear or panic. Unlike me, because I was all fear and panic.

If I went with my plan, I'd have to run him over. Shit! I couldn't really stop anymore either, double shit. Instinctively I pulled the steering wheel to the left with all my strength. It was out of pure reflex that I took my foot off the gas and stood on the brake pedal with both feet. Someone was screaming at the top of their lungs, I guess it was me. I was quickly running out of space, since the gate had been my ultimate goal, I was now heading for the wall. I managed to slow down somewhat, but wasn't able to stop before the SUV ran into the concrete wall.

There was a bang and a crunching noise, the airbag exploded in my face and blinded me momentarily. Apparently, I'd been going slower than I'd feared, I thought, since I wasn't part of an SUV accordion. I was too stunned to feel any pain, I couldn't see anything beyond the folds of the airbag, and my ears were ringing.

The passenger side door was pulled open and Ranger had his hands under my arms before I even knew what was happening. I could see his mouth move and he was looking at me, but I couldn't hear anything over the ringing in my ears. Ranger was obviously alive and well and I was fine. I hadn't managed to get way, but I hadn't killed anyone in the process either.

I didn't resist when Ranger pulled me free and carried me away from the SUV. Now I could see I hadn't hit the wall full on, I had almost hit it sideways. Okay, the left front of the car was smush-city, but it wasn't like they'd needed the Jaws of Life to get me out. I only wished that I could faint and wake up when everyone had had a chance to calm down.

Ranger carried me back over to the elevator while behind us, Tank and two other Merry Men got busy cleaning up the mess I'd made. Ranger's face was expressionless, but this time, I knew he was pissed. Definitely mad at me. Probably it was a good thing I still couldn't hear anything.

Bobby met us at the elevator and ushered me in, while Ranger stayed behind. Not a good sign. But what did I expect? Well, I expected not to have to deal with pissed-off Ranger for a while, because I expected to make it out of the RangeMan garage. Somehow the consequences hadn't seemed all that bad when they were at some point in the future, hopefully after I'd served him Teddy on a platter. Consequences like the cold look in his eyes, his tightly set jaw, the flex-and-release of his right fist as he was walking away without looking back. It was a scary sight even though I knew him so well.

I looked at Bobby who kept talking to me; from his expression I thought he was asking me questions. I pointed at my ear and shook my head, the international sign for 'I can't hear you', but I mouthed it to be sure. Bobby nodded and the frown lines on his forehead grew deeper.

The elevator doors opened on the fourth floor and Booby took my elbow to lead me down the corridor. I wanted to tell him I was temporarily deaf, not paralyzed, but that seemed like too much of an effort, sign-wise.

He opened a door on our right and led me into one of the RangeMan studio apartments. This one had a queen-sized bed in an alcove behind the living area. Bobby gestured for me to lie down on the bed and then pointed at it. He was doing a lot more gesturing, but I got that he wanted me to stay here, and he was going to be right back.

I thought the ringing in my ears was getting less by the minute, but I didn't know if I wanted to share that. Maybe I could delay the inevitable by pretending to be sick? Surely, Ranger wouldn't send a car crash victim to a third world country.

Bobby left and I blew out a breath. Now that the excitement was gone, I remembered why I had been running in the first place. Teddy had escaped! A Merry Man and the local cops kept watch over him, and yet he had done it again. Was I even safe inside the RangeMan building? He'd fooled Lester and Bobby disguised as a woman, which brought back eerie flashbacks to Scrog again. What would he look like next time? Maybe he'd been wearing some movie make-up when I'd met him. He was like all my past stalkers rolled into one.

He had Ramirez' delusions, Scrog's talent for disguises, and maybe Stiva's make-up talents. And if that wasn't enough, he seemed to have accomplices and technical skills to rival RangeMan's.

To say I was freaked was an understatement. And now that I thought about what I had almost done, I shivered. Where had I been planning to go? I could have run right into him and never recognized him.

I groaned inwardly at my own stupidity. 'Nice going, Stephanie.' I told myself. No wonder Ranger was pissed. I stared at the ceiling and tried to come up with something to say that might sound remotely sane.

Bobby knocked on the door and I realized my hearing had come back and now that the adrenaline rush was over, I could feel my face burn and my chest ache. Bobby came in followed by another man, dressed in an EMT's uniform. I realized that if I pretended to still be deaf, they could decide I needed to go to a hospital, and gave up that idea.

"I feel better," I greeted the two men and sat up. "Good to hear. Just let Paul here check you out to be sure." Bobby replied and sat down next to me.

Paul put down his bag and faced me. He took my chin in his hand and turned my face first left and then right, nodding. Next, he took my blood pressure, shone a penlight in my eye and made me touch my nose with my index finger. He kept nodding, which I took as a good sign.

I winced when he brought some moist towelette-thing to my face, and I figured I looked like I had rubbed my face on a rug.

"Your wounds are superficial, keep them clean for a couple days, no make-up. And if you feel dizzy or get a headache, you should see a doctor immediately." He finally said and put all his stuff back in his bag. He nodded at Bobby and left.

"See?" I said, attempting a cheery tone, "Told you I was feeling better." Bobby got up. "Still probably not a bad idea if you take it easy for a couple days," he said, "Come on, I'll take you upstairs." He helped me up and made sure I could stand on my own. I'd been wondering about going 'upstairs'. That's where Ranger would be. If not now, then soon. But hiding from him on the fourth floor wouldn't do me much good either, he could easily find me. Also it would be childish, I reminded myself.

I thanked Bobby when we got to the elevator and assured him I could find my way from here. He sent me a sympathetic smile and said to call him if I needed anything and I got on the elevator.

I really wanted to find out if there was an update on Teddy, but that meant stopping on the fifth floor. After my performance in the garage earlier, I wasn't eager to face the Merry Men assigned to the mission. Okay, I was trying to avoid Ranger, I admitted to myself. The irony wasn't lost on me: an hour ago, I could have easily run into a killer's arms, and now I was afraid to face even Ranger.

I let out a long breath when I let myself into Ranger's apartment with the key fob Bobby had given me, no one was there. I padded over into the bathroom, stripped, and took a look at myself in the mirror. I had some abrasions on my neck and cheeks, I figured they were airbag burn, and a bruise was blooming on my left cheekbone. Probably it was where the airbag had hit me, and I was lucky it hadn't broken my nose. I didn't actually remember the impact. Over all, it looked a lot worse than it felt, and I made a mental note not to see my mom for at least a couple days. She'd have a heart attack.

I turned on the water as hot as I could stand and stepped into the shower, lathering and rinsing and scrubbing and buffing until I was pruney.

I knew Ranger was in the apartment as soon as I came out of the bathroom dressed in his robe. I didn't see or hear him, it was just a feeling. I took the time to change into my jeans and a RangeMan sweatshirt and I tamed my hair before I took a deep breath for courage and walked into the living room.

Ranger was sitting on the couch, his arms crossed over his chest, his face blank. He looked up when I entered and his expression didn't change. Oh boy.

I turned to grab a bottle of water from the fridge and took one for Ranger as well, and then I sat down on the opposite end of the couch. I handed him his bottle and unscrewed mine. I figured if I was constantly in motion, he wouldn't notice how nervous I was.

"I can't keep the mission on track if you constantly put it in jeopardy." Ranger said, his voice completely level and calm. I had hoped for a little small talk before he got to the point, but I knew that was too much to ask for. This was Ranger, he didn't small talk.

"I'm sorry. I freaked." I said, unable to look him in the eye. I kept my hands in my lap and was playing with the water bottle. It was the truth though, I didn't have an excuse or a plan, I had simply freaked.

When Ranger didn't respond I looked up to find him looking at me. I couldn't read his expression, it wasn't his blank face any more, there was some emotion I couldn't name.

"I'm sorry I almost ran you over." I added softly. Of my whole escape trip, that part had shocked me the most. I saw the ghost of a smile on Ranger's face as he scooted over. He reached out and touched my face. "Looks like you got hurt more than I did when you tried." He said and ran his fingers over the bruise on my cheek.

"I didn't want to run you over, that's why I crashed the car." I said and sucked in some air. I just remembered that I had trashed one of Ranger's cars! Mental head slap. "Ohmygod! I'm sorry about the car, too, Ranger." Ranger half-nodded, then he took a deep breath.

"Babe, you can't just go running off when something unexpected happens," He said and he traced my jawbone with his knuckle. I wasn't sure if he was still mad at me, it was hard to tell with someone who rarely if ever raised his voice.

"But it was a _big_ something," I said in my defense. Not to mention, it was the third major screw-up. Okay, so I had panicked, but now I was beginning to think it was understandable. I just had to find a way to explain it to Ranger.

"I know," Ranger admitted, "But if you're out there and alone, I have to allocate men to find you, I have to pull them off another job and they're missing somewhere else."

Oh, so I was an inconvenience. Of course, what had I been thinking? I knew Ranger cared about me, but the way he said it made it sound like that was the least of his concerns. It hurt that he remained so calm. Joe would have yelled and flapped his arms and then I would have yelled back. With Joe and I, you were never unsure what our emotions were, when we were angry, we screamed.

"What if _I_ ran off every time something went wrong?" Ranger asked, his hand still cupping my face. "What if Tank or one of the other men did? Ever think of that?" Oh God. I had heard this speech before, decades ago when I had screwed up and my mom or dad sat me down for a 'serious talk'. Ranger was treating me like a rebellious kid. I deserved his anger, I didn't deserve humiliation.

I jerked my head back and glared at him. "I don't know what would happen if you ran off, Ranger," I said, trying to keep my voice low, "I've never thought about it. And you know why? Because it's not what you do. You and your men have another style." I was talking myself into a rage and I knew it. I jumped up and started pacing. "It's what you do! You make a plan, you come up with a mission and you go. But that's not how the rest of the world acts! Some of us have feelings, gut instincts, and we listen to them!" I was getting louder and louder, and I had no control over the volume. What I said didn't make any sense either, I was spitting out the words unedited.

"You should get a medal for always being in control of your actions! I must be such a dead weight with my impulses and feelings and reactions and emotions!" Tears were stinging my eyes now, I had rambled myself into hysteria. Ranger's eyes widened minimally at my words, but he remained quiet.

This was the point in the rant where I would normally turn, slam some doors and run off. The only place I could go here was Ranger's bedroom, and he would follow me.

I threw my arms up in frustration. "Unnnghh!" I grunted and turned, walking back into the kitchen for something stronger than water. I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and slammed the door shut so that the bottles in it jingled.

"Feel better?" Ranger asked, standing right behind me, and I jumped. "For fuck's sake, make some noise when you sneak up on someone!" I exploded. A half smile spread over Ranger's face. "Can't sneak noisily, Babe." He said. Now he was making fun of me? I had the strong urge to kick him in the shin. I glared at him and opened my mouth to yell again when Ranger pinned me against the fridge, his hands on either side of my face.

"When you're done throwing your tantrum, let me know. I can't talk to you like this," He said, his voice controlled and with a dangerous undertone. I knew he'd never hurt me, but I was still intimidated. My heart was beating so loud, I was sure he could hear it. His face was inches from mine, his leg was pressing against me, holding me in place.

Unfortunately, I had no way of cooling off. I wasn't like Ranger, I couldn't just take a couple of breaths or meditate. I had to scream and flap my arms and then I had to storm off. It was so much easier for me to throw a real fit than to sit down and talk. And if that's what Ranger was calling a tantrum, fine!

I shoved my hands against his chest as hard as I could and I must have caught him by surprise because he actually took a step back. "I'll let you know when I've cooled off," I said, proud that I was able to keep my voice from trembling. I was angry, I was hurt and beyond reasoning. I was going to walk past him and out the door, probably back to the vacant apartment on the fourth floor.

But I didn't get that far. "Damn it, Stephanie!" Ranger huffed and for the first time, I thought I saw anger flash in his eyes. He grabbed my elbow, stopping me before I could walk past him. He pushed me back against the counter and for a split-second, I thought he was going to kiss me, his mouth was less than an inch from mine.

"Let me go," I pressed out, trying to wriggle free. "I'll let you go when you stop acting like a scared little girl." Ranger growled. I stopped moving and met his eyes. "I am a scared girl, Ranger!" I said, and the fucking tears were back. But this time they were tears of anger and frustration. I wiped at my eyes impatiently and Ranger's grip on my elbow loosened a little. "I know you're scared," He said a little softer, "I'm scared too, we're all scared. Fear is what keeps us alive. You can't let it control you."

I'd so had it with his speeches. First the parent routine, now the drill sergeant one. Why was he unable to see that he was avoiding reality just like I was? And what was wrong with scared little girls? "Stop trying to get me to accept the rules that work for you," I said exasperated, "Just because you live by them doesn't mean I can. It's either your way or no way, right?"

Ranger let go of my arm and pulled back just a little. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a beat.

"New plan," He said, "We're gonna grab a couple beers and go back to the living room. Then we're gonna talk like civilized adults." He raised one eyebrow in a silent question and when I nodded slowly he backed away enough for me to move. I chose to believe he'd meant us both when he said 'adults'. I picked up my beer and followed him into the living room.

We both took a long pull from our beers before Ranger cleared his throat. "Please don't run away again," He said, his voice calm and his face blank. I nodded, not sure how to respond. I got that part, running away was bad and got me into trouble. Jeesh.

"Talk to me if you feel overwhelmed or scared or any other way that makes you want to run, okay?" Ranger asked. I nodded again. So this was his idea of a grown-up talk. It seemed a little Dr. Phil to me, but I didn't object.

"What if you don't listen?" I asked. Ranger's eyes widened in surprise. "That would never happen," He said simply. I snorted and for once resisted the urge to jump up again. "Were you in the meeting earlier? Were you the one who told me you were 'on it' when really you still have no clue where Teddy is??" I managed to stay seated but my voice was getting dangerously shrill again. Ranger wanted to talk? Fine, I was talking.

"I never said we had him. I said we're on it because we are. We are in contact with the cops who are looking for him, and we have two teams in the area looking. No, we don't know where he is, but we will. And until we find him, you cannot leave the building." Ranger said, still the picture of calm. He was irritating me with the way his voice stayed steady. I was exhausted, my face was starting to burn again and I really had had enough of this conversation. In a way, I think an all-out fight with screaming and door slamming would have felt better. I finished my beer and set it on the coffee table.

"I'm gonna stay on the fourth floor then." I said when I got up, not sure if I wanted Ranger to agree or to convince me to stay in his apartment. Ranger nodded. "Get some rest," He said and took a sip from his beer.

Okay, now I was sure I had wanted him to ask me to stay. His indifference hurt. I wanted him to say he was sorry, that he was going to try harder, that he loved me. What??? I gasped at my train of thought. I had no idea where that had come from. Probably an aftershock of the car accident, I figured. I wasn't thinking straight, I needed to lie down and once I woke up, I might even be able to talk to Ranger again.

I slowly turned to go. "There is of course another option," Ranger said from behind me. For a second I was afraid I had thought out loud. What kind of option was he talking about? He got up and closed the distance between us. "What other option?" I asked.

"You need to rest, no doubt about that," Ranger explained, "But first, you need to work off some of that anger." He took my elbow and led me to the front door. "If you're suggesting I should run on a tread mill for an hour, forget it." I said when we reached the elevator.

"Close," Ranger said as he pressed the call button, "But I know you better than to suggest exercise. This will work even for you."

He pressed the button for the ground level floor and I raised my eyebrows. "Going for a long drive?" I guessed. Ranger shook his head. "Shoot the shit out of paper men."

While I really didn't like guns, I realized I needed to do something, anything. As exhausted as I was physically, my racing mind would never let me fall asleep. I had a million thoughts going through my head, I was angry and frustrated.

We reached the garage and stepped out of the elevator. When I had worked at RangeMan a while back, sessions at the gun range had been part of my workday, so I was familiar with it.

Ranger handed me a semi-automatic and a couple boxes of ammunition. Then he grabbed the same for himself before we walked over to the partitions. "Just imagine a face you'd really like to hurt…" Ranger said and smiled broadly when he saw my reaction to that. I must have displayed my evil grin again.

I picked up the headset Ranger handed me and he flicked the switch that ran the pulley to move the paper targets.

I removed the magazine from the gun and loaded it, aware that Ranger was watching me. He didn't pick up his own gun before I took my shooting stance and fired. I missed the target completely with my first shot, but then I followed Ranger's advice and imagined Teddy in front of me. I closed my eyes and fired shot after shot, as fast as I could until I head the familiar click of an empty magazine.

I took a deep breath and realized I hadn't breathed while I was shooting.

"Nice," Ranger said when he looked at my target, "Now try it with your eyes open." I cut my eyes to him, a snippy remark on the tip of my tongue, but he wasn't making fun of me, his face was serious. He was giving me advice, from an experienced shooter to a novice. I nodded and reloaded the gun. I took a look at my first target while Ranger was pulling it in. I hadn't quite gotten the bull's eye, but most of my shots had hit, and the target looked like Swiss cheese. No doubt a human would have been dead. Good.

On my second round, I forced my eyes to stay open and actually aimed. This time, I only made Swiss cheese out of Teddy's heart.

We went two more rounds until my hands and arms ached and my sweatshirt was soaked through. I was surprised to realize I actually felt better.

"This was a good idea," I told Ranger when we returned the guns to the shelf. Ranger cupped my face in his hands. "Feel better?" he asked. I nodded. "So you don't want to scream and kick me anymore?"

I glared at him. "I wouldn't push my luck if I were you." He called my bluff easily and kissed my nose. Damn him for having the right ideas. As exhausted as I was now, I wasn't mad anymore. I even thought I had been acting pretty childish before, but I didn't share that insight. I snaked my hand through the crook of his arm and smiled, a genuine smile this time.

We rode up in the elevator and I didn't protest when Ranger only pressed the 7 button, I didn't really want to be alone any more.

TBC

A/N: Does anyone wonder what happened to Teddy? He's not coming back for Steph, right?


	19. Chapter 19

Your feedback made me type as fast as I could, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. Thank you so much for all your reviews, you guys are so awesome!

A special thanks to Stayce for putting up with me through this!

Disclaimer: Teddy is mine, but just because he won't go away. Everything else belongs to JE

I borrowed the title from Bon Jovi, not from the story, but I do think it fits

Rating: PG13. Adults talk and act like adults…strong language…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer 

Chapter 19

"**I'm** gonna go back to work for a while," Ranger said after he unlocked his apartment door for me, "Ella brought some food, go eat something before you go to bed." I knew that he meant he was going to go back to the conference room, meeting with the Merry Men and planning the next move. Maybe it was my exhaustion or maybe it was my anger earlier, but in any case, I was ready to let Ranger take over. I didn't want to be part of the planning team any more. I'd just ask him to tell me the news, if any.

Ranger turned to go back to the elevator, but I took his hand in mine before he could. "Thank you," I simply said. Ranger ran his fingers through my hair and did the almost-smile. "Anytime," He said and brushed his lips over mine, then he lifted our hands to his mouth and kissed the back of my hand. "Get some rest," He said and released my hand.

I stood in the doorway, watching him get on the elevator. He winked at me before the doors closed and then I was alone. I realized Ranger's way of conflict resolution held some advantages. We had managed to stay in one place without anybody storming off and there was no need to apologize. In addition, I already felt much better.

I stared at the closed elevator door, lost in thought. Memories of countless fights with Morelli flashed through my mind. We both had our share of Italian temper, and when we fought, our ancestors would have been proud of us. Ranger was of Cuban decent, and from what I knew about his people, they weren't known for quiet negotiating either. Somehow, Ranger had overcome that heritage; I didn't know any other person with his patience or restraint. He was a master of keeping control. It was the anger talking when I accused him of not having any emotions; I knew they were there. He had learned to keep them hidden though. Most of the time, I'm sure that was working to his advantage. But sometimes I wished he would show me more of his human side, not hide it behind his super-soldier exterior.

Ella had put covered plates on the kitchen counter and had taped a note to one of them with microwave instructions. Ella knew I didn't cook much, but she didn't know whether I could cook if I wanted to, so I didn't take offense to the instructions, but smiled at her thoughtfulness.

She had made us chicken stir-fry, and it was simply delicious. I washed it down with another beer, rinsed the plate and got ready for bed. I put on one of Ranger's t-shirts as a nightgown, it was comfortably big and long enough to cover me halfway down my thighs.

Ranger hadn't mentioned any sleeping arrangements, and his bed looked way too inviting, so I snuck under the covers and was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

I woke up in the middle of the night, startled awake by some noise. When I looked around me, I realized I was not in Ranger's bedroom, but in the studio apartment on the fourth floor. The only explanation for that was that I had sleepwalked. Why I would leave the comfort of Ranger's bed was beyond me though.

When my eyes had adjusted to the darkness, I realized what had woken me: Against the window, I could make out the shape of a man. My heart sped up and my breath caught in my throat.

"Ranger?" I asked hoarsely, praying it was him and not Teddy.

"No, Cupcake, it's me." Joe said softly and turned around. I couldn't make out his face, but I noticed he was limping. He walked over to the bed and sat down. I was unable to move or talk, I just stared at him.

He reached out and tucked a stray curl behind my ear. He was smiling, but it was a painful smile and his eyes looked sad.

"You…you're…you're dead." I finally forced out, Joe nodded slowly, "I know." His fingers traced my jawbone and his thumb brushed over my lips. I was shivering.

"Then what…" I had to swallow before I could bring out a sentence, "What are you doing here?" I finally managed.

"I shouldn't be here," Joe said and nodded. In the dim moonlight, his face looked pale, and eerily lifeless. Tears were streaming down my face and Joe wiped them away with his thumb. "Why are you here?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. My heart physically ached at the sight of him.

"You're not letting me go," He said softly, "As long as you hold on to me, I can't pass on."

I tried to take a breath but I was too choked up to manage properly. Joe continued to study my face sadly.

"Wh…What?" I finally managed. "You need to let go, Cupcake." Joe whispered and I could see tears welling up in his eyes. "Let me go." He pulled me towards him and hugged me close. I was sobbing at his chest, clinging to him.

Joe held me for a minute, then he gently pushed me back. "Please, Cupcake?" He said and his eyes were pleading, "Let me move on?"

I was hugging the pillow tight and it was wet from my tears when I woke up from my dream. I took a couple breaths to calm down, but the tears kept coming. Ranger opened the bedroom door and flicked on the light. In two strides, he was by my side and gathered me up in his arms.

"It was a dream," He said soothingly. It _was_ a dream, but it had been so real that the memory of it brought new tears. I had _felt_ Joe, I had _touched_ him!

I threw my arms around Ranger and sobbed uncontrollably. Ranger just held me, stroking my back, whispering soothing words close to my ear. "It…it…it was Joe." I pressed out between sobs. "I know," Ranger said, "It was a dream." He ran his hand over my head and held me tighter.

"He…he wants me to let him go." I wailed. I knew Ranger wouldn't know what I was talking about, but I had to say it, it was too overwhelming. He kept holding me until my sobs died down to hiccups. I sniffled and took a deep breath, pulling back. "I'm sorry," I said, smoothing out Ranger's shirt where I had fisted it, "It was the most terrible dream." I took a deep breath and looked up at Ranger. He smiled at me and smoothed my hair back. "It's okay," He said, "You've had a horrible couple days." I nodded and took the tissue he offered me to blow my nose. I was still shaking a little.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Ranger asked softly and I shook my head no. I knew I couldn't talk about the dream without crying. Ranger's arm was still draped around me and I leaned into it, borrowing his strength. My heart rate was slowly returning to normal, and all I felt was an indescribable sadness. I slumped against Ranger and wrapped my arms around him again.

I finally pulled back and took a deep breath. "I'm better," I said, smiling for emphasis. "What time is it?" Ranger smiled back and turned his head to read the alarm clock. "Almost three AM. I just got back from downstairs." He said. "Any news?" I asked, hoping for an update. Ranger shook his head no. "I'm sending a team to his apartment in the morning, we couldn't spare any men until now. Maybe we'll get some clues." He said.

I knew the Merry Men had been in Teddy's apartment before, but they had been looking for him then, they hadn't searched the place.

"Try and get some more sleep, Babe," Ranger said and gently pushed me back onto the bed. "Will you stay with me?" I asked. I was afraid I'd dream again if I slept alone. Ranger nodded. "I'm just gonna take a shower and then I'll be back," He said and got up. I heard him start the shower and let the sound of the water lull me back to sleep. I was already half asleep when Ranger got back and settled in next to me. I felt his arm around me and sighed. I felt safe.

When I woke up the next time, the room was bathed in warm sunlight. Ranger was lying on his back and I was on my stomach spread over his chest, with one of my legs between his, his arm over my back. He smiled when he saw I was awake. "Good morning," He said softly. I rolled onto my side quickly and returned his smile. If I had dreamed the rest of the night, I didn't remember it. I felt relaxed. "Morning," I replied. "Feeling any better?" Ranger asked and ran his fingers through my hair. I detangled my legs from his and pulled down the t-shirt that had come up to my stomach, but I didn't pull further away from Ranger.

"I'm okay, I think," I said truthfully and met his eyes. I rolled away from him, stretched and got up. According to the clock radio, it was already 9 AM, I was surprised Ranger was sleeping in with me. "Are you taking the day off, too?" I asked. Ranger snorted. "Not really. I just thought it was more important to be here with you. I'll meet with Tank and Bobby once they come back from Gardner's. We're still hoping he'll return there. And I'm a little concerned he hasn't tried to contact you." He said as he propped himself up on his elbows. "I shot him. Maybe he realized we weren't meant to be after all." I said on a shrug. "I wish it was that easy," Ranger said and got up. I beat him to the bathroom and started the shower. My face felt a little better than the day before, but one look in the mirror told me I should probably not meet any of my friends face to face today. I looked like I'd gone a couple rounds against Mike Tyson. The abrasions from the air bag had turned darker and were now an angry shade of red, and the bruise on my cheek was slowly turning black. I sighed and stepped into the shower.

I wrapped myself in Ranger's robe again and returned to the bedroom afterwards. Ranger was gone. I decided to postpone dressing and styling for a while and just lay down on the bed in my thinking position. I thought about my dream again. 'Let me go' Joe had said. I didn't believe in messages from the beyond or anything like that, but the dream was definitely disturbing. I realized my mom was right; I hadn't been to his grave once since he was buried. It just seemed too painful. At some point, I'd have to clean out his house on Slater, too. Sort out what was mine and what needed to go to his family. That seemed so final, as if…as if I accepted that Joe was gone. 'He is gone' I said out loud. And it was final. The thought made my heart ache, but I didn't cry.

I finally pushed myself up and grabbed some clothes out of my bag. It was a good thing I had packed for a few days. Ranger had a lot of shirts I could borrow, but his choice of women's underwear was limited. He didn't have any. I blow-dried my hair and worked some gel into it, then I applied mascara and lip gloss, careful not to touch the abrasions. When I got to the dining area, the smell of fresh coffee hit me. Ella had already been up, a basket stood on the table and there was the heavenly scent of toasted bagels. On my plate was a sticky note. 'At the gym, back in a few. R.' it said. Ranger's consideration made me smile. I poured myself some coffee and sat down, waiting for him. I could smell the fresh bagels and my stomach growled in response.

I didn't have to wait long, Ranger came back about 15 minutes later, his hair still wet from the shower. He was once again dressed in his usual black and he winked at me when he sat down. "How hard was it for you not to cover up the bruise?" He asked and smiled. I stuck my tongue out at him, it felt like the appropriate response. Ranger poured himself a cup of coffee and I grabbed a bagel and smothered it in butter.

He smiled broadly when I took the first bite and the butter was dripping down my forearm. "That stuff will kill you," He said predictably. "A bagel?" I asked with my mouth full. "The pound of butter you slathered on it," Ranger replied, unable to hide his amusement. Mornings with Ranger always seemed relaxing. Like the calm before the storm, before the real world reached us.

We finished our breakfast in silence and Ranger glanced at his watch when I got my third cup of coffee. "I'm meeting the guys now, should be interesting to learn what they found out," He said, "Do you want to come?"

I thought about it for a moment, but decided against it. I didn't do meetings well. "No, go ahead. I'm gonna catch up on my phone calls." I would have rather gone shopping or to the bakery, but I knew I wasn't supposed to leave the building. Ranger nodded. "Okay. I'll let you know what I find out." And he got up. He walked over to me and squatted down so we were at eye level. "You sure you're gonna be okay? You won't get restless and decide to leave?"

"I'll be a good girl," I promised. "No need to be drastic," Ranger said and smiled a full-on smile. I chuckled and jokey-punched him in the stomach. He caught my hand in his and pulled us both up, wrapping his arms around me. "I took the liberty of hooking your phone up to the charger," He said and nodded towards the living room, "We would have gotten an alarm if he called you, but let me know if he left a message from a different number."

"About that…" I said slowly and looked up at his face, "Did you delete my old messages?" Ranger cupped my face in his hands and brushed his lips over mine. "I copied them over and then I deleted them." I let out a long breath. "Thank you," I whispered. Ranger nodded and turned to leave. "I'll be back soon," He said over his shoulder. When he was gone, I sat back down with my coffee. The phone calls could wait another hour. I knew I had chickened out again, I could have asked Ranger about Joe's second message. But I didn't know if I was ready for it yet after last night's dream.

I rinsed our dishes in the sink and grabbed a bottle of water, and on my way to the living room, I eyed my cell phone warily. Probably it still needed time to charge, I decided and plopped down on the couch with the TV remote.

An hour later I was anaesthetized enough by daytime TV to face my mom. I took a deep breath and pushed myself off the couch, telling myself it was ridiculous to avoid one's mom.

"Stephanie! Thank God! We thought you were dead or lying in a coma somewhere. Would it have killed you to call your mother?" Maybe avoidance wasn't so ridiculous after all. I sighed. "Sorry Mom, I've been working…"

"Working? What are you working on? Angie Morelli tells me you haven't been to the grave once!" My mother's voice was agitated and my left eye was starting to twitch. "I will go, Mom, I promise," I said, trying to remain calm. It hurt that my mom wouldn't think to question Angie Morelli's words, she didn't even bother to ask me if it was true. "Your father can drive you if you don't want to go by yourself," My mom suggested. I knew she was trying to get me to commit to a date and time. "I'll let you know. I was just calling to make sure everything was alright," I tried to change the subject.

"Are you coming to dinner tomorrow?" My mom wanted to know. I wondered if Ranger would insist on bodyguarding me if I told him I had to go. The thought was enough to make me smile in spite of the unpleasant conversation. "Maybe," I said, "I don't know if I'll be in town." That wasn't even a fib, who knew where I'd be 24 hours from now? A day ago, I was still in Point Pleasant.

"What do you mean, you don't know if you will be in town? Where are you going?" My mom asked, and her voice was getting louder. I bit my lip. I should have known better than to tell her I might leave Trenton. Mom didn't really consider the world outside the 'Burg worth visiting.

"Mom, I said I don't know, I'll try to be there for dinner." I sighed and held my hand over my eye. "Good," She said and her voice was back to normal, "Your father and I need to talk to you." Oh goody, I could hardly wait. "Okay, I'll see you then." I said and we disconnected. If I did make it to dinner, my only hope was that Valerie and her family wouldn't be there. I didn't think I could make it through a typical Plum dinner just yet.

Next on my list was Lula. She had somehow managed to get most of the details out of Tank and wasn't mad at me for not calling her. "Damn, Steph, you got yourself into quite some mess, huh? Good thing Ranger and my man are helping you out!" She said. I had to agree with that one. "Yeah, I tried it on my own first and that sort of backfired." I admitted. "I heard," She said, "Only I didn't get the whole story until you were safe and sound and back here. Good thing, too, I would have been worried sick. How are you holding up?"

That was a complicated question. In the last 24 hours, I had two major breakdowns, but in general, I was feeling better than a few days ago. "I'm hanging in there. I miss you guys," I said. "Boy, do we miss _you_!" Lula said. "Since both you and Ranger are out, I have to pick up most of the files here. And some of them are tricky." I chuckled. When Lula said 'tricky', she meant they were impossible to apprehend for her or me, but she would never say that out loud. "I'll be back soon," I said, hoping it was the truth.

"You take your time, white girl. No use rushing back. We'll be here whenever you're ready." I had to swallow the lump that was forming in my throat. I was choked up by the love I felt for my friends. "Thank you. I'll call you soon," I said and we said our goodbyes.

Now I still had to work through my voicemail messages. Ranger knew Teddy hadn't called from any of the numbers we had of his, but there was every chance he had used a different phone. Heck, any pay phone would have done the trick. I thought about that while I dialed into my voicemail. The nice electronic lady told me I had 17 unheard messages. 'Here we go,' I thought as I pressed 1 to access them.

The first three messages were from my mom. As soon as she got to "Stephanie, this is your mother…" I deleted each messages. Only fourteen to go, I thought sarcastically. "Miss Plum, this is Stayce, Detective Krenzler, from the Trenton Police Department. I just wanted to thank you for seeing me the other day and I was hoping we could meet soon to discuss a few questions I have. Please call me at 394-7841." That was the fourth message. I selected to save it and went on. The next two messages were hang-ups, and then there was some drunk guy who obviously had the wrong number. I was down to ten messages. I took a long pull from my water and continued listening. Eddie Gazarra and Carl Costanza had each left a message, telling me to call them if I needed anything. Lula had left two messages, Connie one. I made a mental note to call Connie at some point and deleted the voicemails.

There was one message from the phone company, ironically telling me that my service would be cut off if I didn't pay my bill soon. I sighed and deleted the message as well. Next was Detective Krenzler again. Boy, she was persistent. I figured I'd call her when the worst was over.

I pressed 7 to delete and the next voicemail came on. "Angel, you think you're pretty smart, huh?" My heart dropped several inches and the blood froze in my veins. "But it takes more than a few bullets to stop me," Teddy went on, "Only now you've made me angry. And you know what happens when daddies get angry, don't you?"

I was in shock when I pressed the 9 key to save the message. Ranger told me there was a chance Teddy had called. I knew it, too, but I had hoped my denial would make him go away. Far away. Like Mombassa.

I was trying to convince myself to listen to the rest of the messages when the intercom chirped. 'Saved by the bell!' I thought as I walked over to answer it.

"Babe, can you come down to 5? There's something you need to see." Ranger said. "I'll be right down," I replied, "There's something you need to hear." I grabbed my cell phone off the side table and left the apartment.

Ranger was waiting for me when I got off the elevator. "What is it?" I asked him. He jerked his head in the direction of the conference room. "Tank and Bobby brought a sample of their findings back," He said. "From Teddy's apartment?" No, from the farmer's market, Stephanie, I thought and did a mental eye roll. Ranger ignored my question and led me to the conference room.

I greeted Tank and Bobby and they looked like they were happy to see me. I hoped that meant there were no hard feelings about the day before in the garage.

They had brought in about six boxes and had spread them out on the conference table. I could see some books and magazines, but I didn't want to touch anything. Teddy's hands had touched these things, they had Teddy cooties.

"What did you find?" I asked Tank. Tank snorted. "More like what didn't we find," He said and stepped up to the table. "The guy has a subscription to 'Guns & Ammo', among with just about every book about weapons ever written." He spread the books out so I could see the covers. The titles didn't mean anything to me, but from the pictures I could tell they were crime novels as well as catalogues and war books. "So he has a weird hobby," I said, "I've seen worse. You didn't bring back his porn, did you?" Tank shook his head, either choosing not to understand my joke or not getting it.

"He's got his private stack," He said and pulled the largest box closer. He took out a thick scrapbook and opened it for me. I sucked in some air. This seemed to be the Stephanie Plum fan book. I had seen something similar before, it had belonged to Scrog. Somehow it hadn't shocked me quite as much because it had focused on Ranger. This book focused on me. It started with pictures of me in school, God only knew how he'd gotten those. Tank kept turning the pages and I looked at every newspaper article ever written about me. My mouth went dry as I looked at the next pages. They were full of photos. Pictures of me in front of my parents' house, pictures of me and Joe, pictures of me and Ranger. Both Joe and Ranger were crossed out with a black Sharpie. There were no comments under the photos. I forgot about the cooties and started turning the pages myself. Either Teddy had watched me for a very long time, like years, or he had stolen pictures from everyone I knew. The last pictures were the creepiest; they were taken in the hospital. Some were of me sleeping. I shuddered involuntarily and Tank sent me a sympathetic smile. "Ugh," I said. "That about sums it up," Ranger said, "But there's more." He opened another box and handed me a pair of latex gloves. I wondered what I'd need those for and if I really wanted to know. "Do I want to see this?" I asked. "Probably not," Ranger agreed, "Let's just say Gardner has spent a lot of time thinking about you. Whatever you touched that he could get his hands on, he kept it." I really wasn't sure I wanted to know any more details. Knowing that Teddy had collected my trash was bad enough. "And you're saying this is just a sample?" I asked.

Tank nodded. "His place is full of this shit. He may be an orderly by day, but by night he's one obsessed motherfucker."

I cleared my throat to say something, but there really wasn't anything to say. I sat down in one of the chairs and let my eyes wander over the boxes and what contents I could see. "We'll be going over these piece by piece," Ranger informed me, "You don't ever need to see them again." He put a steadying hand on my shoulder and I covered it with mine. "I'm okay," I said.

Okay, so Teddy was a little farther out there than my regular stalkers. But I figured if you had a rating system for your stalkers in the first place, sooner or later one would be off the chart.

"We'll run some tests to see if it's yours," Bobby said. I looked up and saw Ranger shoot Bobby an angry look. I knew I didn't want to know, but I had to ask, "See if what is mine?"

"The blood," Ranger said tonelessly and before I could jump up, he pushed his hand down on my shoulder. "This is the part you don't want to see." He was right, I didn't, but now I had to.

"What is it?" I asked. Tank ran his hand over his bald head and avoided looking at me. Bobby cleared his throat and seemed suddenly interested in his shoes. "Ranger?" I turned my head to look at him. He met my eyes and shook his head almost imperceptibly. "Babe," He just said. And for once, that was enough for me. When he said 'my things', I was thinking fast food wrappers and dinner napkins. I wasn't thinking blood. I nodded slowly. "He left another message," I said and handed Ranger my cell phone numbly. I had a sudden urge to run back upstairs and scrub my skin off.

"I'll copy it later," Ranger said, "Tank, get that shit out of here and have it tested." Tank and Bobby immediately got busy cleaning up the boxes and Ranger sat down next to me. "We knew he was a psycho. This just makes it more official." He said. True. But it also made it creepier, like icky-creepy. My skin was crawling at the thought of what might have been in the boxes. The scrapbook had freaked me out, but the pictures my mind was displaying of what might have been in the other boxes horrified me. "What's in the box, Ranger?" I asked again. I had changed my mind. If I didn't know for sure, there was no telling where my imagination would lead me.

"Are you sure?" Ranger asked, his hand on my arm. I nodded weakly. "If I don't know, I will imagine. I don't know what's worse." I said and met his eyes. Ranger took a deep breath and picked up a file that was lying on the table. "He was an orderly at St Francis," He said. I didn't know if he was reading off the file or just avoiding my eyes. "He had access to your medical files, your family's history and…the medical waste you created." Ranger's voice was steady through this report, but I felt bile rise in my throat. "Oh God…" I whispered. I had been at St Francis numerous times, with gunshot wounds, concussions, deep cuts and such. "Are you telling me he…he kept the bloody bandages?" Ranger nodded solemnly. I felt like I was going to throw up and took a couple deep breaths to calm my stomach. Ewwwwwee, was the only word in my head. Ick and double-ick!

"Anything else?" I asked, although I didn't know how it could get any worse. "You want to read the poems he wrote you?" Ranger asked and I let out a long breath. Poems I could handle. Joe had written a poem about me on the subshop's men's room wall years ago. Poems were the proverbial sticks and stones. I shook my head no, "I think I'll pass," I said, "Does it get any ickier than stuff with my blood on it?"

"Not _ickier_, but definitely creepier," Ranger said, "There are some locks of your hair…" I held my hand up to stop him. "Okay, I think I know enough," I said and tried to smile. Ranger took my hand and squeezed it. "You're safe here. I won't let anything happen to you, you know that."  
I met his eyes and smiled for real. "Yeah, I know," I said, "Thank you." Ranger almost-shrugged in response.

When my cell phone rang I jumped and my heart sped up immediately. No way I could talk to him right now! Ranger checked the read-out and handed me the phone. "It's your sister," He said. I almost giggled in relief. I hadn't talked to Val in a while and she might just provide the distraction I needed right now, I figured.

"Hey, Val," I said when I had pressed the answer button, trying to put a chipper tone into my voice. There was no response. "Val?"

"Steph," Valerie said, and it sounded like she was about to cry. "What is it?" I asked, sitting up straight. I could feel Ranger tense up beside me. "Steph, you…you…can you come over?" Valerie asked and now I was sure she was crying. "Ummm," I said, cutting my eyes to Ranger, "It's kind of hard for me to…"

"Just come over right away, okay? There's someone here who needs to see you." Valerie pressed out. Then there was a rustling noise and I could hear Valerie scream. "You may want to come quickly, Angel," Teddy said, "I get bored very easily."

TBC

A/N: Please let me know what you think, your reviews mean the world to me!


	20. Chapter 20

Sorry it took me so long to update, I hope you didn't forget me in the meantime. Thank you so very much for your reviews, I appreciate them so much!

Stayce, just add it to the tab. Ranger pays all bills…thank you so much!

Disclaimer: Teddy is mine, but just because he won't go away. Everything else belongs to JE

I borrowed the title from Bon Jovi because I love the song, but it kinda fits

Rating: I give it an R to be on the safe side...some violence

Living on a Prayer 

Chapter 20

The phone slid out of my hand and landed on the floor with a small crash. I barely noticed. I just froze. If I hadn't been sitting down, I would have collapsed.

"Babe?" Ranger's voice sounded like it was coming from far away, not from right next to me. I couldn't breathe. Ranger tried to get me out of my paralysis by touching my shoulder, but his touch barely registered, I was completely numb.

"Stephanie, talk to me," Ranger said and cupped my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him. I believe he shook me gently, but I don't know for sure, maybe the world just bobbed up and down for a second. I wanted to tell him what had happened, but my mouth felt like it was glued shut. The next thing I knew, I was airborne. Ranger threw me over his shoulder in a fireman's carry and took me out of the conference room. I finally managed to gulp in some air and I meant to use it to protest, but my tongue refused to obey me just like the rest of my body.

I heard Ranger yell something and moments later, he stepped into the elevator, firmly holding on to me. I may have passed out or I just missed it, everything was kind of a blur, I just remember the sensation of sliding off of Ranger's body onto a hard surface. All of my senses came back with a flash when cold water hit my face, like I'd been running full speed towards a concrete wall and had finally hit it. I opened my mouth to scream, swallowed water, and coughed. I felt the cold water soak my body before I heard the sound of the running water and before I realized Ranger was holding me upright in the shower stall.

And finally, I was able to scream. Immediately, Ranger turned off the water. Now I noticed Tank standing right behind Ranger, handing him a towel. He disappeared after Ranger had wrapped the towel around me.

"Are you back?" Ranger asked, his eyes studying me. "I'm wet!" I said accusingly. Ranger's face lost some of its tension. "Sorry, Babe, I had to bring you around fast. Do you remember what happened?"

The phone call. Valerie. Teddy had Valerie! "Oh my God!" I gasped.

"What happened?" He repeated, "Can you tell me?"

I slumped back onto the tub's rim. "It was Teddy," I whispered. Ranger squatted down in front of me and lifted my face up to meet his eyes. "Start over," He said, "what was Teddy?"

I took a deep breath and swallowed to get rid of the lump in my throat. I knew how important it was for me to give Ranger as much detail as I could. "Teddy has Valerie," I started and Ranger sucked in some air. "He made Valerie call me to tell me to come over to her house."

"Anything else?" Ranger asked, taking his cell phone off his belt. I tried to remember if there was more, then I shook my head no. "I guess I passed out after that." I said. Ranger shook his head slightly. "More like checked out," He said and helped me up. I was beyond freaked out. Should I call mom to tell her? No, I decided, what good would it do to get my mom worried? Probably she would only point out that it was my fault, since Teddy was after me.

"Let's get you out of these wet clothes," Ranger said and started taking the towel off me. "I can manage, I think," I said and held on to the towel. "Can you get me something dry?"

I peeled off my wet clothes after Ranger left and put on his robe. I glanced at the mirror and wasn't surprised I looked like a wet, angry cat. "What the hell did you do this for?" I asked, gesturing at the shower when Ranger returned with a stack of clothes. "You were in shock. You didn't respond to anything else," He said matter-of-factly. "I needed a moment!" I said, glaring at him. I wasn't actually angry with him but the feeling of wet clothes on my skin had irritated me. "Okay," He said, running his hand over my cheek, "You have five minutes," then he turned and closed the door behind him.

I huffed and did damage control on my running mascara, carefully wiping it off the abrasions, then I towel-dried my hair and put on the black RangeMan shirt and cargos Ranger had given me. When I looked as good as it was going to get under the circumstances, I joined Ranger in the bedroom. "We're going downstairs to brief the team," He said and took my elbow.

Ranger talked to the control room on our way to the elevator. He ordered to inform everybody a meeting was in five minutes and to be ready to move out immediately.

"I'm going, too," I declared and because Ranger looked like he was going to argue I added "And don't try to stop me! She's my sister!"

He sent me a look, but didn't say anything. The elevator stopped on the fifth floor. "We need to brief the teams," Ranger said by way of explanation, "And we need to get suited up." I took that as his agreement for me to come along and followed him to the conference room. I felt my body stiffen at the sight of my cell phone on the table, but I willed myself to not think back to the phone call. I didn't know how I was going to make it through the briefing without thinking about anything else, but I had to try. Valerie's life could depend on it, I realized. I gasped when I realized I hadn't even thought about Albert and the kids. "What time is it?" I shrieked and all heads turned to me. Tank was the first to find his voice. "11:35." He said, efficient as always. "Thank God!" I sighed and sank down on a chair. "Mary Alice and Angie are still at school," I said when I noticed the raised eyebrows around me. Ranger put his hands on my shoulders from behind.

"Perp initiated contact with target at 10:25," He said and I realized the other Merry Men didn't have a clue what I'd been talking about and probably thought I'd finally gone crazy. "Actually, the call was made from Valerie Kloughn's phone, Steph's sister." I could see understanding register on the Merry Men's faces around me. "Perp appears to have taken Valerie hostage," Ranger continued, "The first team is to establish if they're held up at her place of residence."

Tank nodded. "Bobby and I are the first team." Ranger acknowledged this with a short nod. Junior entered the conference room and handed Ranger a stack of papers. Ranger glanced at the top one and then handed them out to Tank and Bobby. "This is her address and a photo with description. As Stephanie pointed out, two kids are still in school and should not be in the house. A third child, an infant girl, is unaccounted for." He turned to Cal and gave him a sheet of paper. "Go to their school and confirm their attendance." Cal nodded. Hal was next, Ranger gave him written instructions as well. "The husband has an office at a strip mall. Make sure he's there, and if he is, stay there. Do not make yourself known."

Once again I was amazed at how far ahead Ranger was thinking. I hadn't recovered from my panic yet, and he was already covering all the bases.

Finally, he looked at me. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked. I nodded, "She's my sister," I repeated. Ranger gave me a short nod. "We're gonna suit up next. Kevlar, guns, the works. You okay with that?" He asked. I was okay with anything that would free my sister and kill Teddy. "I'm ready," I said. Ranger made sure everyone knew what they were doing and adjourned the meeting.

We got up and Ranger led me to the 'storage room', as he called it. It was a locked closet with everything one would need to invade a small third world country. Ranger and the Merry Men all had their own equipment, so I wasn't quite sure what they would need so much back-up for, unless they were always prepared to outfit 'guest' Merry Men. I picked a bulletproof vest and a utility belt, but Ranger took the vest away again. "That won't fit you," he explained and handed me another. He was right about the size, it fit perfectly. Still, he made sure by securing the Velcro strips, then he chose a gun for me. "It's a Sig P220, a semi-automatic," He explained, "Think you'll be comfortable with it?" That was sort of a trick question. I wasn't really comfortable with any gun, but this one looked a lot like the one I was shooting at targets with the day before, so I nodded. "It'll do," I said and took the gun and the ammunition Ranger handed me.

Since we didn't know what would await us a Valerie's house, Ranger insisted on preparing for every possible scenario. I didn't know what half the gadgets and gizmos he carried were for. He stuck some in the pockets of his cargo pants, and clipped others to his belt. He had cuffs, guns, pepper spray and a dozen other things. Junior and Ram would be our touch point in the control room. They had everyone's location on their GPS tracker and they were responsible for contacting the authorities. A part of me wanted to call the cops right away, but I knew they would send blue-and-whites with sirens and strobe lights that would alarm Teddy.

Ranger handed me my cell phone and I clipped it to my belt. If Valerie called again, the control room would initiate a trace. I just hoped Teddy was holding Val at her house and not somewhere hidden. The call had come from Val's cell phone, so there was no telling where she actually was. I bit my lip all the way down to the garage.

Tank and Bobby where already on their way and I was hoping they'd update us before we got there. I climbed into the Cayenne next to Ranger and I expected him to go into his zone right away. He surprised me when he turned to me instead and took my hand. "You sure about this?" he asked. Again. This time, I actually rolled my eyes. "Yes, already! She's my sister and she's in danger. Wild horses and Brad Pitt couldn't keep me away!" Ranger nodded. "Just double-checking," Then, on an almost smile, he asked, "Brad Pitt, huh?" I glared at him, "Just drive." I was afraid I was going to divulge more information if I kept on babbling.

He started the car and put it in gear, immediately slipping into his zone. His cell phone was on speaker, clipped to the console. We could hear the radio conversation between the control room and the teams.

Valerie lived with Albert and the three kids in one half of a duplex, half a mile from my parents' house, in the Burg. It wasn't a long drive from Haywood, but today it seemed to take hours. I had seen what Teddy had done to Lester and Woody; I was in full panic mode when I thought about what he could do to Valerie. He couldn't know if The Merry Men meant anything to me, but since he'd apparently been watching me for years, he knew how important Val was to me.

Valerie and I weren't all that close, mostly because we had opposite opinions about pretty much everything, but she was my only sister. And she was the most vulnerable, alone in her house.

I jumped when Ranger's phone chirped. It was Cal, reporting that my two nieces were at school. "Stay on location," Ranger ordered and Cal confirmed. I relaxed the slightest bit; two out of five were safe. "Can you arrange for your mom to pick them up after school?" Ranger asked me. I bit my lip. Of course my mother would be more than happy to baby-sit the girls, but how could I ask her without telling her a reason. I'd have to come up with a good, plausible lie. "Babe?" Ranger asked. "I'm thinking!" I said. It was after noon, so she'd have to pick them up soon. I picked up my cell phone and dialed, I had an idea and hoped it would work.

"Mom? It's Stephanie, can you do me a favor?" I blurted out as soon as my mom picked up the phone. "We just started lunch, dear, do you want to come over?" She said.

"Uhm, no mom, I'm kind of busy right now…you see, Mary Lou and I are planning this shopping trip for Valerie as a surprise…" I was gripping the phone so hard that my knuckles stood out white.

"Oh?" My mother said. I hoped she didn't ask for details. "Yeah, only we need someone to watch the girls while we're gone. Do you think you can pick up Mary Alice and Angie at school?"

"I don't know…" Mom said, "Your father is out with the cab and I don't know when he'll be back. Why don't you just drop them off before you go out?" Damn! Think, Stephanie! I told myself. "Well, we were gonna surprise her, so I'll be picking Mare up and then drive over to Valerie's. Mare doesn't have much time either, her babysitter can't stay long…"

Ranger cut his eyes to me but didn't say anything. We were a block away from my Mom's house.

"Okay, I guess," My mom said and I had to stifle a sigh, "Will they be staying for dinner?"

"Yeah, probably, it may turn into girls' night. Thanks mom, I appreciate it" I said and hung up before she could ask me any more questions or change her mind. "Done!" I announced.

"You're a pretty good liar," Ranger said and I saw the corner of his mouth twitch. I was when I had to be. And with my mom, I had to frequently bend the truth a little, or more.

"We're in position," Tank said over the cell phone's speaker. I sucked in some air and waited for what he'd say next. "Mrs. Kloughn's car is in the driveway. A blue Ford Focus is parked in front of the house, running the plates now," He said.

"Where are you exactly?" Ranger asked. "The side street across from the house, getting ready to move in," Tank reported. "Wait for us to pull up behind you," Ranger said then he turned to me. "Call your sister," He said.

"What?" I shrieked, "What for?" Ranger took the corner and stopped behind Tank's SUV. "See if she answers. The control room will pick up the signal so we hopefully find out if she's inside," Ranger said and pushed a button on his cell phone to alert Junior.

Tank got out of the SUV's driver's side and nodded before he crossed the street and disappeared around the corner, probably to approach my sister's house without being seen. Bobby came on the line, "The Focus was reported stolen in Neptune today at 05:00." He reported. Jersey Shore Medical Center in Neptune was where Teddy was taken after the shooting. Ranger swore under his breath before he confirmed, "Have Junior tell the cops we found it." He said and put the phone down to focus on me again.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked, panicking. Ranger remained calm. "If she picks up, ask her how she is, if she's hurt, if the baby is with her," He said, "If Gardner answers…improvise." I grimaced. Ranger knew there was no sense in telling me what to say to Teddy, I'd be lucky if I could bring out anything. I took a deep breath and dialed. I couldn't see Valerie's house because Tank's SUV was blocking my view. Ranger turned off his cell phone's speaker when Junior confirmed he was ready. My hands were sweaty and my heart was racing as the phone rang. "Pick up, Val," I whispered, "Please pick up."

It rang four times and I was almost sure I'd get her voicemail when there was a click. I heard Valerie whimper. "H…he…hello?" She sounded like she had to force the word out. "Val, it's me, are you okay?" I asked and instinctively grabbed Ranger's hand for support. "Steph are you coming?" Val asked and I could tell she'd been crying. "I'm on my way," I said, "Are you at home?" I pressed the phone to my ear to hear every noise, I thought I could hear someone whisper. "Ye…Yes," Val finally sobbed.

"Val, it's okay, it's gonna be fine," I tried to soothe, "Is Lisa with you?" Valerie sobbed in response. "Tell her!" Teddy suddenly urged and my mouth went dry.

Ranger was listening to his own phone but kept eye contact with me. I bit my tongue so I wouldn't blurt out anything stupid. I had to calm Valerie down somehow. "Mom is picking up the girls from school," I told her, "They'll be safe." She sobbed again, but I knew it had been good news for her. "Tell her!" Teddy said and Valerie cried out. I grimaced as I was imagining what he was doing to her. "Please, Steph," Valerie brought out between sobs, "Please hurry over. He says he's gonna hurt me bad!" Then she yelped and the line went dead. Ranger reached over and took the phone out of my hand, then he wiped tears off my cheek with his thumb. I hadn't even realized I was crying. "I'm here, Babe," He said and pulled me closer, "We're gonna get her out of there!"

I really wanted to believe him, but I was so scared. I hadn't heard Lisa in the background, I prayed she'd just been sleeping and Val had sobbed at the mention of her name because she was scared for her. I held on to Ranger and refused to even think the other possibility.

Ranger's phone chirped and I felt him reach for it. "We're in position, awaiting go ahead," Tank said.

I pulled away from Ranger so see his reaction. "They can't go in there!" I almost screamed, "He could kill Val right away!" Ranger's face was unreadable. "Locate suspect and hostages," Ranger spoke into the phone.

"He's not going in," Ranger said to me, "They're getting everyone's location and we'll decide." I nodded and grabbed the door handle. "But I'm going in. He wants _me_. He's gonna let them go if he has me," I said. It was the only thing that made sense.

Ranger reached across me wordlessly and held the door shut. "I wouldn't count on it," He said, taking my hand off the handle. "What I do count on is he's sick. He might just decide that two is better than one." I opened my mouth to argue, but Ranger put his hand on my lips. "Listen to me, we'll get them out of there," He used his index finger to tilt my head up so I would look at him, "I know how important this is, trust me. We're gonna do whatever it takes. But you're not walking in there." He nodded in the direction of Valerie's house. His cell phone squawked but he ignored it for a moment, not breaking our eye contact. I finally sighed and nodded. When Ranger was sure I wouldn't just jump out of the car, he answered his phone.

I still wanted to run and free Val, but I knew I'd never make it to the house if Ranger didn't want me to. I made myself take a deep breath and waited for Ranger.

His cell phone chirped again, three times. "Tank has a visual," Ranger translated.

"And you have a better plan than me going in and offering to take Valerie's place?" I asked and I couldn't quite keep the sarcasm out of my voice. There was no reason for it, the waiting had just exhausted my patience. "You going in is not a plan, it's suicide," Ranger said dismissively. I glared at him and he put up his hands. "I'm just trying to tell you the truth here," He said, "You know I'm right. You can't trust him. Even if he told you he'd do the swap, he could turn on you." When I didn't respond, he put his hand under my chin and lifted my head up again. "You know I'm right," He repeated. "You may be right," I countered, pulling my head out of his grasp, "But you still don't have an alternative." I crossed my arms over my chest to emphasize my point. Ranger lowered his eyes and I knew I'd had him. I couldn't feel victorious though, because that still meant we had nothing. We both thought about that for a few minutes.

I started thinking of the ways Lula and I had managed to get into FTA's houses when they didn't willingly open the door to us. Okay, so we had never had to deal with a hostage situation, as Ranger called it, but my sister had been used to get to me before. Abruzzi had her kidnapped to get me to go with his goons. I had been scared for her then, but I had been furious with Abruzzi. And I realized as much as I feared something happening to Val or Baby Lisa, the biggest emotion in me was anger. I was beyond furious, I was livid. I wanted to scratch Teddy's eyes out and skin him alive. I wanted to hear him scream in pain and I wanted to hear him beg for his life. And then a light bulb went on over my head.

"I never knew you had this evil streak," Ranger interrupted my thoughts. Again, my feelings had obviously been displayed on my face. "Just thinking of ways to kill him," I admitted. Ranger raised an eyebrow in surprise. "That's my girl!" He said after a pause.

"I have an idea," I said, "Lula and I have this routine…" Ranger smiled but didn't say anything. "Can't we let one of your men dress up as a delivery guy?" Since he looked skeptical, I felt the need to explain further, "Pizza, or FedEx, or whatever, anything to get him to open the door!" I was gesturing wildly for emphasis. Ranger still didn't say anything, but he looked like he was at least entertaining the idea. "Maybe another guy could hide as back-up," I spun the plan further, "And eventually, one of them will have to open. If it's Val, we snag her, if it's Teddy, we shoot him!" I mostly liked the simplicity of my idea.

Ranger snorted, "I doubt it will be that easy, but I like the idea," He said. "Really?" I asked, unable to hide my surprise.

"Yes, really," He confirmed, smiling. "I hate to admit it, but between what you won't let us do and what I won't let _you_ do, it's the best we got." He was right, I didn't' want Tank to storm the house and possibly hurt my sister. I mentally cracked my knuckles. We had a plan!

Ranger picked up his phone. "Bobby, take care of the neighbors as quietly and quickly as possible," He said. Right, I thought, the neighbors. Lula and I don't usually shoot anybody or do anything that would endanger the neighbors. I was glad Ranger was here to think of the details. Bobby confirmed and got out of the SUV moments later, Ranger was already on the phone with Junior, requesting more Merry Men.

He ended the call and turned to me. "Here's what we're going to do," He said and took a deep breath. "Manuel is going to be the FedEx man this morning," He smiled a little at that and I had to admit it was funny, "Junior is getting the uniform ready. Gardner doesn't know Manuel, he wasn't part of the team in Point Pleasant." I nodded. We really didn't know how well Teddy knew the Merry Men, but it couldn't hurt to be careful. "The tricky part is getting the back-up in place," Ranger continued. Valerie's house had a couple of hydrangea bushes in the tiny front yard, but unfortunately no hedge around it. There weren't any tall trees either, so the Merry Men had to become invisible on their own. I chewed on my lower lip trying to think up ways they could get as close as possible without being seen.

"Do you think we can pull it off?" I asked, locking eyes with Ranger. He almost-shrugged. "It's the best plan we have right now. Tank is still at the back entrance in case it doesn't work." It made me feel a little better to know that Tank was our back-up plan. "How do you know he's at the back door?" I asked. Ranger nodded at the phone, "His last message was two chirps each after a short pause," He said, "He can't risk being heard, so he uses RangeMan Morse." Right. I'd never be able to learn the meaning of a number of chirps.

The minutes ticked by as we were waiting for an update from Junior. I was chewing on my nails, ready to jump out of my skin. Ranger was completely calm. I vowed that when this was over, I was going to ask him for lessons on staying cool.

When my phone rang, I screamed and jumped in my seat. I almost dropped the phone when I tried to get it off my belt. 'Trenton Police,' the readout said, and my breath caught in my throat. I knew it couldn't be Morelli, but I remembered this readout from every time he'd called me from his office.

Ranger misunderstood my reaction and picked up his phone to call the control room. I put my hand on his arm to get his attention and shook my head as I pressed the button to ignore the call. "It wasn't him," I said softly, still trying to fight back the tears. My guess was that Stayce Krenzler was trying to get in touch with me again, but I couldn't talk to her just yet.

If reading the dispatch name upset me so much, I didn't want to know what would happen once I went back to my regular life again. Probably I should get a prescription for Valium.

I looked up and realized Ranger was still looking at me, waiting for an explanation. "Detective Krenzler," I said, waving it off. Ranger nodded and was about to respond when his cell phone rang again. He put it on speaker. "Talk," He instructed.

"Everyone's in place," Ram reported, "Awaiting orders." I chewed my lip nervously and looked at Ranger. "Move in!" He said and hung up. He took binoculars out of the glove compartment and opened his door. "Let's move to the front row," He said and indicated Tank's car.

I hesitated. Did I really want to watch? Our plans had a tendency to go horribly wrong lately and what if I was witnessing Valerie getting hurt, or worse?

Ranger stopped when he reached the SUV's rear bumper and turned to look at me, eyebrow raised. I sighed and opened my door to follow him. From Tank's car, we had a clear view of Valerie's front door, although we were partially hidden by a hedge on the corner across the street from her house and a stop sign. I knew the living room windows were facing the street, but you didn't have the right angle when you looked through them, Teddy would have a hard time spotting us. I shouldn't have been surprised, Tank had known what he was doing when he chose the spot.

A blue-and-white turned the corner and came to a stop right across the street from Valerie's house, a beat-up beige Crown Vic was right behind it. My heart skipped a beat and I sucked in some air. "Cops!" I almost screamed. Ranger didn't seem surprised. When I turned to him for an explanation, he did the almost-shrug. "It's a kidnapping, hard to keep the cops out of it. More likely though, one of the neighbors called to report suspicious activity," He said.

Mental head slap. This was the Burg! Of course someone had called to complain about unknown cars and men in black.

"We got company," Ranger said into his phone and Ram replied he was going to take care of it. "Ram is gonna call our activity in and ask for assistance," Ranger explained. "Meaning?"

"Meaning we're asking them to stay out of our way but stick around."

I squinted through the windshield to make out the cop in the blue-and-white. Ranger lifted the binoculars, "Officer Malone," He said. I didn't know him, but I thought he looked familiar.

Probably there was one or more plain-clothes cop in the Crown Vic. I saw the uniformed cop talk into his radio and he nodded.

A FedEx truck came down the street and stopped in front of Valerie's neighbor's side of the house. I cut my eyes to Ranger and he nodded, "We're rolling."

Instinctively, I grabbed Ranger's hand again and squeezed it. He handed me the binoculars but I shook my head, "I don't think I want to see the details," I said. He dropped them into my lap and put his free arm around me. "It's gonna be all right!" He said.

I held my breath as I watched Manuel hop out of the truck with a package under his arm. Ranger changed the channel on his cell phone and turned on the speaker.

"Approaching target," Manuel said. He had his back to us now as he turned from the sidewalk to Val's house. The control room confirmed they copied. My fingernails were digging into Ranger's palm, but he didn't pull his hand away. Two short chirps from the cell phone. "Tank copies," Ranger translated. I nodded numbly. Bobby confirmed he was at the neighbor's house, all people had been informed. Since I hadn't seen anybody leave, I assumed that meant everybody had been advised to stay inside.

I could hear the doorbell through Manuel's microphone and my heart sped up. I could see another Merry Man crouching by the FedEx truck, his gun at the ready.

"Freeze!" I heard Manuel shout and then a gunshot.

TBC

A/N: **Who do you think fired the shot? What do you want to happen? Tell me what you want to happen in the next chapter, I'm looking forward to your suggestions!**


	21. Chapter 21

Thank you so very much for your reviews. You guys made my day. As I am a total review slut, please keep them coming…

Disclaimer: Teddy is mine, but just because he won't go away. Everything else belongs to JE

A special thanks to Stayce for the inspiration, the editing, the brainstorming, the ideas…

Rating: I give it an R to be on the safe side...some violence

Living on a Prayer Chapter 21 

**I** watched a show on out-of-body experiences on TV once, mostly reported by people describing how they saw their near-death happen. Ever since Joe had been shot, I'd been experiencing my own out-of-body sensations, although I was not near death.

To me, it always felt like I was watching TV, I had no control over my body or my mind. And that's how I felt now.

I heard the shot and thought I froze in panic. The next thing I knew though, I was on the street, running towards Valerie's house. I had no memory of getting out of the car, or of drawing my gun, yet here I was, the gun in my hand as I was crossing the street and sprinting past the FedEx truck.

And everything around me felt…I don't know, surreal. Like a dream that you know is a dream, you just sit back and watch. There was no sound except my own rapid heartbeat.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Hector, Manuel's backup; he had been crouching by the truck. He moved to block my way, but I had such momentum that he literally bounced off of me and backwards.

I'm sure this all happened in a matter of seconds, but it was running in slow motion for me. I heard Ranger behind me, or maybe I just felt him, probably he was only steps behind me, trying to stop me just like Hector had.

I was powered by anger and adrenaline, and I was acting on instinct, not on reason. My only thoughts were Valerie and Lisa.

Probably I should have stopped, assess the situation, and then think of the best way to proceed. I didn't do any of that. I ran ahead, my gun still raised. Manuel was doubled over, holding his midsection, I only saw him in my peripheral vision because I was staring straight ahead, where Valerie stood in the doorway. For a split-second, I only saw her. Her eyes were wide, emphasized by the smudged mascara around them. Her white-and-yellow housedress had tears in it, and she was barefoot. She had her mouth open as if she was going to scream.

'She's alive!' a voice screamed in my head. I was so focused on my sister, that I saw Teddy second. His arm was around Valerie's throat, his gun was pressing against her temple, and he was using her as a shield, his body was partially hidden behind her.

"Stephanie, don't!" Ranger yelled behind me. He knew what I was going to do before I did. I knew I wasn't a good shot by any stretch of the imagination. That alone should have stopped me from shooting in this situation. My gun was aimed at Teddy, but he was jerking Valerie back, so there was no way for me to shoot him without hitting and maybe even killing Valerie. In my mind, I fired the perfect shot, missing my sister by a fraction of an inch and hitting Teddy in the head. But at the last second, Sane Stephanie took control of my body and I didn't pull the trigger. Instead I never broke stride and slammed right into the two of them like Freight Train Stephanie.

I had the element of surprise when I hit Valerie first, and she stumbled back into Teddy. Teddy was still injured and had no way of holding his ground so they both fell back, hitting the floor with a thud, some screaming, and me on top.

Immediately, I was yanked off by a set of strong arms, and I barely had a chance to see Valerie being lifted up as well before I was shoved to the side. I heard the clicking of guns being cocked, then Bobby's "Don't move a muscle!"

I struggled against the strong hold when I was pinned against a wall in the foyer. And finally, I re-joined my body. It was as if I had been watching an action movie in slow motion, no sound, and then someone hit the play button again, full sound and real time action resumed.

I finally recognized the body shielding me as Ranger's. "Don't move," He said, his head next to mine, "I'm done taking chances." He didn't move until Hector and Bobby had gotten Teddy off the ground, cuffed and shackled. Teddy didn't say a word. Ranger was pinning me against the wall with his body, while his left hand held my wrist. I realized I was still holding the gun.

I could hear Valerie wail and then there were sounds of a struggle. "Please Mrs. Kloughn," a Merry Man said, "Stay still until we clear the area." Probably Val was beyond scared, unable to realize it was over.

"Let me go," I said through clenched teeth and tried to push Ranger away, "I need to be with Val!" Ranger pulled back enough to give me room to breathe, but I still couldn't move. He lifted his head to look at me. "Please, Stephanie," He said, "Stay still, just another minute." I craned my neck to look over his shoulder.

Bobby was holding on to Teddy's elbow, Hector was standing a few feet to the side, his gun on Teddy. Tank stepped into the doorway, assessed the situation with one look, drew his gun and made room for Bobby to escort Teddy out.

And then my eyes met Teddy's. He turned his head to make eye contact and I saw the craziness. That's the only way I can describe it. His eyes didn't look human; he'd definitely gone off the deep end. And I could tell he hadn't given up yet. I knew he never would, unless I stopped him.

There was nobody he was able to use as a shield now; I'd have a clear shot. As soon as I moved my hand though, Ranger's grip tightened on my wrist and I lost control of my fingers. My gun dropped to the floor, and the moment was over when Hector shoved his gun into Teddy's back and he stumbled out. I heard Teddy yelp in surprise, probably Hector had 'accidentally' shoved him too hard so he fell down the front steps. I heard sirens approaching, getting closer by the second.

Valerie managed to struggle free or, more likely, the Merry Man in charge of her had released her. She ran right past me, up the stairs. "Lisa, Mommy's here," She yelled. Ranger finally took a step back so I was able to follow her.

I stumbled up the stairs after Valerie and followed her into Lisa's room. Valerie and Albert had three bedrooms, just like my parents. Angie and Mary Alice were sharing a bedroom, and the third and smallest one had been made into a nursery for the baby. I stepped into the bright yellow room and it felt like a different world. Up here, there were no killers, there were only baby toys and mobiles. Valerie was holding Lisa in the middle of the room, and she was sobbing.

"Val, are you okay?" I asked, unable to keep my voice from shaking.

"I'm f…fi…fine…" She hiccupped, not having much luck controlling her voice either. Baby Lisa started crying, she couldn't understand why her mom was clutching her to the chest while sobbing into her hair.

"Val, it's over," I said, touching her arm to reassure her and loosen her grip on Lisa, "The baby needs to be able to breathe…"

"Who was he?" Valerie wailed, rocking Lisa to calm her down, "How do you know him, what does he want?" When she lifted her head, I could see the bruise that was blooming on her left cheek, and I had the silly realization that we were bruise twins. I shook my head to clear it; I could not afford to go off into denial land just yet. I took Baby Lisa from Valerie gently.

"It's a long story…" I said, hoping she wouldn't push me for more information, "Are you hurt? You should get checked out by a paramedic." I was sure the control room had called for ambulances.

Valerie shook her head, but ran her fingers over the bruise. She had stopped crying and her breathing slowly returned to normal. She sank into the rocking chair and looked completely shell-shocked. Probably she'd have a panic attack when the numbness wore off.

When I held the baby, I finally let myself believe it was over; my sister and my niece were safe. Lisa was calming down too and started playing with my hair. I smiled at her and rubbed her belly.

"He said he'd kill us if you didn't show," Valerie whispered, wringing her hands in her lap, "I didn't want to call you, but he threatened to hurt the baby…"

"You did the right thing," I assured her, "You couldn't have done this on your own. I've been looking for him and if it wasn't for you, I would have never found him." I put the baby back into her crib, walked over to Valerie and hugged her.

"It's over," I said again, "You're safe. I'll stay with the baby while you get checked out." Valerie nodded but didn't move. I took her hands, pulled her up slowly and nudged her towards the door. "I'm here, Val. You need to make sure you're okay," I said.

I heard footsteps and moments later, Tank appeared in the doorframe. "Tank will take you to the paramedic," I said, pushing Valerie towards him. I met Tank's eyes and he almost-nodded as he took Val's arm.

When I was sure they couldn't hear me, I took a deep breath, blew it out with a whoosh and leaned on Lisa's crib, watching her. "I'm sorry," I told her, tears welling up in my eyes at the thought of what could have happened, "I didn't mean to put you in danger like that." I reached out and touched her hand. "You're gonna be okay," I promised, "Mommy's fine. And Aunt Steph is here now."

She smiled at me as she gurgled. Probably she was going to be hungry real soon, but I didn't dare taking her downstairs yet, not until everything was back to normal. I didn't want to excite Valerie again, so I hadn't asked her if Lisa had been upstairs the whole time, but there didn't seem to be a scratch on her. Her big blue eyes were wide open, studying my face. I had to bite back a sob. I would have never forgiven myself if anything had happened to her.

"You okay, Babe?" I jumped at the sound of Ranger's voice and turned around. He had taken his vest off and was just in his cargo pants and t-shirt. "Sorry," He whispered and closed the distance between us. He looked at Baby Lisa and smiled. "She's okay," I said. He nodded, touched Lisa's head and pulled the blanket over her. Then he took my hand and looked up. "Are _you_ okay?" He asked, pulling me closer. I leaned into him and took a deep breath. It was a loaded question. Was I okay? Honestly, I thought I was a couple county lines over from okay, but I was fine physically. I chose to believe that's what Ranger had meant. "I didn't hit the ground when I shoved into them," I said, my head resting against his chest. "Is Manuel okay?" I asked. "Gardner got a shot off, it hit Manuel. He was wearing his Kevlar vest, but at this short distance, he's gonna have a pretty bad bruise," Ranger said and stroked my hair, "But he's gonna be fine."

We stood like that for a couple minutes until Lisa gurgled again and I turned to check on her. She was just entertaining herself. Ranger put his hand on my shoulder and turned me back to face him. "Don't ever do anything like that again," He said, his eyes boring into mine. "Do what?" I asked confused.

He pulled me into a hug. "You scared the shit out of me back there," He said softly, his mouth so close to my ear that I could feel his breath on my skin. "I swear, I've never seen you move so fast. One moment you were in the car next to me, the next, you were flying." He squeezed me tighter and I felt his heart beat.

"I heard the gunshot," I said by way of explanation. Ranger's chest moved as he chuckled silently. "I thought you didn't do scared," I said, lifting my head to look up at him. I wanted to lighten the mood before I'd get a chance to think more about what could have happened to me, Val, or anyone involved.

He lifted his hand and traced my chin. "I'm never scared for me," He said softly, "I was scared for you. If anything happened to you…" He didn't finish that sentence, he just lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me. It was a short, powerful kiss without tongue; as if he was assuring himself I was still there. Ranger broke the kiss and tightened his arms around me, his chin on my head.

I didn't know what to say. Too many emotions were raging in my brain. I needed to make sure Teddy was locked up and someone threw away the key. I should have shot him when I had the chance. Probably the cops had him now, it would be hard for me to get to him and watch him die.

"Where's Teddy?" I asked when I found my voice, my head still against Ranger's chest. "Taken care of," Ranger said. "Dead?" I hadn't given up hope he'd had an accident on his way out of the house.

"In jail," Ranger said. Damn. I sighed. Ranger let his arms slide off my back and put them on my shoulders, gently pushing me back so he could look at me.

"It's over, that's what matters," He said, and for the first time since I'd known him, he sounded like he was trying to convince himself as much as me. I nodded weakly. "I'm glad you couldn't do it," he said softly and tucked my hair behind my ear. "I'm not," I replied, "He's going to jail and he's gonna get a scumbag attorney and plead insanity." I pulled away from Ranger and started pacing. "Then he's gonna say he had no control over what he was doing and his parents neglected him or whatever and he's gonna walk." I was talking myself into a rage. I was angry at myself because I had missed my last chance.

"You don't know that," Ranger said, his voice calm. "The hell I don't!" I yelled, "And it's all your fault! Why did you stop me? I had a clear shot, I could've taken him out!" I didn't care that I was being unfair, I needed to yell. I needed to find someone responsible for my failure.

Baby Lisa apparently didn't like the yelling, she started fussing. Ranger looked at her, then he looked at me and shook his head. "Babe," he said and left. I huffed and let my arms fall to my sides. Dammit, he was impossible to fight with.

I picked Lisa up and calmed her down, wondering what took Val so long. Lisa was probably hungry and I had no idea what she ate these days. And I was getting antsy to get back downstairs, check that everyone was okay, make my statement and then hopefully get a donut.

I could still hear voices from downstairs, so I put Lisa back into her crib, made sure she was all right, and left her room. Strobe lights were painting the upstairs hallway in red and blue, and I looked through the window to find out just how many emergency troops there were. Before the shot was fired, there was a blue-and-white and the Crown Vic. Now there were two cruisers, two ambulances, a police van and two Rangeman SUV's parked in front of the house and across the street. Two uniforms were keeping spectators at bay.

When I got downstairs, Valerie was talking to Detective Thomalla. I recognized him from the station; Joe and he had shared an office sometimes. He was in his mid-thirties, with thin brown hair and calm blue eyes. He and Joe had sometimes gone out for a drink after their shift, and they had been partners on Joe's last case.

"Hey Frank," I greeted him when I got to the bottom of the stairs. "Stephanie, how are you?" He said, "Give me a minute, I'll be right with you, okay?" He turned back to Valerie and continued his questioning. Carl Costanza stood in the front door, making sure nobody unauthorized went in. He waved when he saw me and I smiled back. I knew my mom's phone was ringing off the hook, by now everyone would have told her what was going on. I was surprised she wasn't here yet. Tank was in the living room, being questioned by another detective. The scene was the standard aftermath of a crime scene, although the perp was in custody, witnesses had to be interviewed, evidence had to be collected. I had seen more than my share of crime scenes. The only one missing this time was Joe. Tank seemed to be the only RangeMan still inside.

"Carl Costanza, let me through this instant," I heard my mother yell from outside. Carl should know better than to block her way, I thought. I sat down on the overstuffed, flower-patterned couch, closed my eyes and hugged my knees to my chest. With any luck, Mom would focus on Val and the baby, and wouldn't try to find me. I heard her voice from much closer, and figured she had found a way past Costanza. I could hear her talk to Val, but I didn't hear what they were saying. Then there were footsteps on the stairs, and I sighed in relief. She was going to take care of the baby.

I listened to Tank giving his statement, describing what had happened. Since the cops had been notified in advance, they were probably checking if everyone's story matched.

The couch cushion dipped beside me and I opened my eyes to find Frank Thomalla sitting next to me. "How are you, Stephanie?" He asked again, his eyes all sympathetic and his forehead creased in a frown. I shrugged, "Okay, I guess." He nodded at that and took out his notepad. "I understand you know the suspect?" I nodded. "And he's the same guy that attacked RangeMan employees the night before last?" God, had it really only been a couple days? It seemed like weeks to me. When I nodded again, Frank made some notes. "Did you see him attack those men?" He looked up with his eyebrows raised. I sighed. "No, but the victims themselves saw him, if you ask them, they will confirm." I might have sounded a little irritated, because his frown lines got deeper. "Stephanie," He said, "I know this is hard for you. I'll try to be quick, I promise." And he put his hand on my knee. I'm sure he meant to be comforting, but the gesture was a little too intimate for me, I hardly knew the guy.

"He killed Joe," I said in an effort to speed the interview up. His hand tightened on my knee. "How do you know?" He asked. "He told me."

Frank scooted closer and now he was really making me uncomfortable. "Do you have any evidence besides hearsay?" He asked, his voice a lot lower than before. I shrunk back against the couch to get some distance between us. "I have his phone calls on tape," I said, "and he kidnapped me! What more evidence do you need?"

He finally lifted his hand off my knee and put his notepad away. "Morelli was on his way to meet an informant," He said, still in a hushed voice, as if he was sharing classified information, "We believe that whoever shot him may be the break we desperately need in this case."

"I don't know anything about the case. All I know is your suspect killed Joe, assaulted three men, kidnapped me and held my sister and her daughter hostage. Isn't that enough?"

Tank looked over to us, obviously I had gotten louder than I realized. He raised an eyebrow in a silent question, his arms crossed over his massive chest. Thomalla took a look at Tank, cleared his throat and reached into his jacket.

"Here's my card, Stephanie," He said, handing me his business card, "I can see this isn't a good time for you. Please call me if you think of anything else, okay?" I took his card and he got up. I sent Tank a grateful look and he nodded almost imperceptibly before turning his attention back to the detective. Thomalla leaned down to whisper "And if you ever need anything, _anything_, you know how to reach me." And then he ran his fingers over my cheek and left. I shuddered involuntarily and made a mental note to check him out. He had gotten a little too friendly too fast.

Slowly, everyone cleared out. The cops left first, followed by the EMT's and the Merry Men. I hadn't seen Ranger since he left Lisa's bedroom. Tank offered me a ride back to the office, but I declined, telling him I wanted to stay with my sister. Albert had called while the paramedics were still checking Valerie; he left a message saying he had to go out of town to meet a client and would be home late. I might have stayed with Val anyway, but this gave me the perfect excuse to get a break from the RangeMan cage I had been living in.

Tank looked uncomfortable when I told him, probably thinking of ways to tell Ranger, but he didn't say anything.

My mom found me after she had fed Lisa and put her in the playpen in the living room. She shot me a look that made me hope I wouldn't be alone with her anytime soon.

Valerie had gone upstairs to take a shower, and when she sat down next to me on the couch, she looked a lot better.

"How are you feeling?" I asked. "I'm okay. Thank you for staying. The girls are at Mom's house with Grandma Mazur and Dad, Mom said it was okay for them to stay. It will be just you and me and the baby. We can have a girls' night." Valerie was rambling, she was not okay, I decided. But then I hadn't expected her to just shrug it off. I was a lot more used to chaos in my life and I was still shaking inside. I put my arm around her and pulled her close. Lisa was in her playpen, fed and happy, entertaining herself. Mom was puttering around, straightening the place up. I was pretty sure she'd find something to iron next. It was hard to believe how much had changed in a few hours. Teddy was caught. My family was safe. Somehow, I didn't trust the sudden peace.

"I have lunch ready in the kitchen," Mom interrupted my thoughts, "You girls need to eat." In my family, we expressed our love for each other through food. Mom making lunch was like a hug and a kiss on the forehead. And now that the adrenaline rush was over, I was starving.

My mom left after lunch because she didn't want to leave my father alone with my grandmother and the kids for too long. Probably she didn't want to upset Val again, so she had spared me the lecture for now.

Val and I played with Baby Lisa for a while, then we watched TV and made small talk. We were both going with avoidance at this point. I had turned my cell phone off and it was now along with my utility belt and my Kevlar vest in the kitchen. This was down time.

I got up to go to the bathroom and when I looked through the window in the front door, I spotted a RangeMan SUV parked right out front. I should have known.

I straightened my shoulders and opened the door. I couldn't see who was inside the SUV through its tinted windows, so I walked the short distance and tapped on the passenger side window. It rolled down and Bobby greeted me with a smile. "How're you doin' Steph?"

I fisted my hands in my hips. "Hi," I said, not feeling very friendly, "What are you going here?" I already knew the answer. Bobby's smile never faded. "Keeping you safe," He said. I knew they were only following Ranger's orders, but I couldn't keep the exasperation out of my voice. "I _am_ safe," I said. "They got the guy, remember? It's over. You can leave now."

Cal leaned forward in the driver's seat to see past Bobby. "And risk getting shot because something happened to you? No offense, but I'd rather stay here and get yelled at by you," He said. I sighed. "Fine." I marched myself back into the house to call Ranger.

"Yo," He answered. Some things never change. "Yo yourself," I said, "You forgot something outside my sister's house."

"Babe,"

"It's over Ranger, I'm perfectly safe by myself now," I argued. I could feel him shake his head over the phone. "They're just there to keep you safe from yourself," Ranger said.

"You want to explain that to me?"

"Gardner is in jail, let's leave it at that," Ranger said. "I don't know what you're talking about," I said. It was a lie, I knew exactly what he was hinting at. And it irritated me that he'd thought of it before I had.

"You're not gonna call them off?" I asked.

"Not until I know you won't do anything stupid."

"I'm not gonna do anything stupid." He laughed out loud and disconnected. I glared at the phone in my hand. Ranger knew me too well. The thought that Teddy had gotten away gnawed at me. If he pleaded insanity or if they couldn't find enough evidence, he would never have to pay for what he'd done. I was the only person who could make sure he did. I owed Morelli that much.

And what if they had taken him back to a hospital, possibly even St Francis where he knew everybody? He could escape again and this would never end! Why was I the only one who was thinking straight?

I had made up my mind. As soon as Albert got home, I would leave. I had outsmarted the Merry Men before, I could do it again.

Kloughn got back around six, after Val and I had watched enough mindless TV to last us a lifetime. His appointment hadn't lasted as long as he had expected, and he was anxious to share the news about a new client. I had instructed Val to break the news to Albert slowly, I doubted he could take it all at once, but I left it to her to explain. He asked about the girls first, and Val took a deep breath before she asked him to sit down before she explained. Now that Albert was home, there was no need for me to stay. Even if he somehow escaped, I doubted Teddy would go after Valerie again. Besides, she had protection sitting right outside.

I went into the kitchen, put on my vest and my belt and took a couple cookies from the jar to get my sugar fix. Then I called Carl Costanza for an update. He told me that Teddy had been patched up at St Francis, but he'd then been taken to his cell. His arraignment would be in the morning. Carl doubted that Teddy would get a judge to set bail, but I didn't want to risk it. I pretended to be all relieved at the news, thanked Carl after assuring him I was fine and disconnected.

Just as I had expected, Albert had a shocked look on his face when I returned to the living room. Valerie was sitting next to him with her arms around him, assuring him that everybody was fine.

"I'm gonna leave now," I announced, "One of Ranger's men will give me a ride home. You're gonna be okay, right Val?"

Valerie looked up and nodded, "Yes, we're gonna be fine. Thanks for staying." I was glad she was overlooking the fact that none of it would have happened if it wasn't for me. I had allowed Teddy to hurt my family. I managed to push that thought away before I'd wallow in self-pity and waved goodbye. Albert was too dazed to notice, but I knew Valerie would be able to calm him down eventually.

I opened the front door and closed it again noisily, then I snuck through the kitchen and left through the back door. I stood on top of the steps for a moment to allow my eyes to adjust to the darkness. There was a small, fenced backyard that bordered a small alley, just like most streets in the Burg were set up. All I had to do was sneak through a couple back alleys over to Mary Lou's house. I'd borrow her car or ask her to take me to my apartment so I'd have my own. Since I knew just about everyone in the Trenton PD, I knew I could find a way to get some alone time with Teddy.

I tiptoed through the backyard, trying to keep to the shadows and climbed the fence. It was dark back here so I had to watch where I was going, I didn't want to fall and end my trip before it began. I listened into the darkness for any sounds, but all I could hear were cars driving by on Val's street and dinner-making noises from the backs of the other houses. I took a deep breath and planned out my route, then I took off.

I heard the rustle of clothes and froze.

"Going somewhere, Babe?"

TBC

A/N: Do you think Ranger should help Steph get revenge??


	22. Chapter 22

Again, thank you all for your wonderful reviews. I appreciate them more than you can imagine.

A special thanks to Stayce for her help with this chapter and for always being there!

Disclaimer: Teddy is mine, but just because he won't go away. Everything else belongs to JE

Rating: I give it an R to be on the safe side...some violence

Living on a Prayer Chapter 22 

**F**uck. I was so fucked. Even before I saw Ranger, I knew there was no way for me to get away. I couldn't even pretend to be looking for my sister's cat or something, he'd see right through that. He'd caught me sneaking off and we both knew it. I slumped against the fence and waited for him to walk over. I was just too damned predictable.

"Babe," Ranger said and stopped right in front of me. "Where exactly were you going?" I could barely see his face in the dim light of the lone street lamp. I looked past him and didn't answer. Okay, so I hadn't figured out all the details, but my plan had involved driving to jail, getting Teddy alone and killing him slowly. And now that I thought about it, it didn't sound as sane anymore and I didn't want to share it.

"At least you're armed," Ranger said with a look at my utility belt when I didn't respond. When I still didn't look at him he put his finger under my chin and turned my head. I finally met his eyes, although I couldn't read the expression in them. It was not the blank face, that much I could see. There was definitely emotion in there.

"Can I give you a lift somewhere?" He asked. Yeah, right. The only place he'd take me would be back to RangeMan or to a safe house. Still, it was worth a try.

"Can you take me home?"

He nodded almost imperceptibly, "If that's where you want to go, yes."

"Maybe that's where I was trying to go!" I fumed, throwing my arms up for good measure. Ranger didn't respond but I knew he didn't believe me. I narrowed my eyes at him, "And you're just gonna drop me off and let me stay by myself?"

"No," He simply said, "but I can be your bodyguard anywhere, so if home is where you want to go, that's where I'll take you."

"What if I don't want a bodyguard?" I challenged him. "Not your choice," He said and took my elbow to lead me to his car. "Excuse me?" I pulled my arm out of his grip, "What exactly do you mean by 'it's not my choice'? The killer is in jail, remember? My stalker is in jail, remember?" My voice was once again getting shrill.

"Babe," Ranger said and took my arm again. He sounded just like my dad when he used to say 'I'm not going to discuss this with you right now' and I had a feeling that was exactly what Ranger was trying to tell me. He held on to my elbow until we reached his car, then he beeped it open and held the passenger door for me. As if I could outrun him if he didn't hold on to me, I thought. I climbed into the seat and folded my hands in my lap. I couldn't get away if I tried, but that didn't mean I had to like it.

Ranger got into the driver's seat, started the car and looked over at me. When I still didn't say anything, he put his hand on mine. "You're not gonna give me a hard time over this, are you?" He asked. I scoffed, "Like you said, it's not my choice."

"Can you look me in the eye and tell me you weren't gonna do anything stupid, you were just going home to sleep?" I stared straight ahead into the darkness of the alley. No, I probably couldn't tell him that. It would be a lie and I didn't know if I could blatantly lie to Ranger when I looked him in the eye. What irritated me even more though was the fact that he had called my plan stupid. It may not have been the most thought-out plan ever, but it was the only thing that made any sense.

The last time I yelled at Ranger, he'd just left. This time, I went with the silent treatment. Very unusual for me, but I was afraid I'd get emotional if I said anything.

I should have known it wouldn't be that easy to crack Ranger's shell, he just drove in silence. We got to my apartment building and he parked at the corner of the lot because all other spots were taken, as usual.

"See any cars that don't belong?" He asked. I rolled my eyes but still took a look around. There weren't any cars I hadn't seen before, so I shook my head. Ranger killed the engine and got out, opened the trunk and came around to my side with my duffle bag in his hand. Probably he had seen us ending up here all along.

I hopped out of the car and held my hand out for my bag. Ranger didn't move. "You're gonna have to talk to me sooner or later," he said, his face definitely blank this time. I just sighed and walked past him towards the front door. Maybe I'd annoy him so much, he'd leave voluntarily, I thought. I really needed some alone time at this point. I appreciated everything Ranger and his men had done for me, but I'd been on this constant adrenaline rush for days now and I needed to relax. Alone.

Of course Ranger was right. I'd never been able to hold my tongue for long. But in the mood I was right now, I could only yell or cry, and I didn't want to do either. He probably wanted one of his 'adult' talks, but I wasn't up for that. So it was silence for now.

We took the elevator up to the second floor and it felt good to be home again. There wasn't much of it, but it was mine. I stopped abruptly when I saw my front door was covered with police crime scene tape. Ranger immediately but his arm around me and gently pushed me back against the wall.

I held my breath. Dear God, what now? Can't my home be sacred for once?

Ranger tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "I was trying to tell you on the way over…Someone was here," he started. I meant to ask who, when, how, why, but he put a finger on my mouth to silence me. "We had your place under surveillance the whole time and the guys called the cops when they saw a light. Unfortunately, they never saw him enter, but there was time enough for the cops to do their thing, get the prints." He motioned towards the door, "Let me go check it out before you come in, okay?" I nodded, suddenly not sure if I could feel safe here after Teddy had violated my space. There was no doubt in my mind it had been Teddy.

Ranger left me in the hall and pulled away the crime scene tape before he went in.

I was grateful that whoever had invaded my home was long gone by now, because I didn't want Ranger to get hurt. I already had Woody, Lester and Manuel on my conscience; I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I got Ranger hurt. Again. As it was, he still had the scratches and bruises from the scuffle with Teddy the other night. I was chewing my lip and straining my ears to hear something.

After a couple minutes, Ranger opened the door all the way and waved me in. "Not as bad as it could have been," he said, "and from what I could see, he didn't leave any kind of present for you." I sighed in relief but my breath caught in my throat when I saw my apartment. It was a war zone.

Books were pulled out of the bookcase and strewn all over the floor. Knick-knacks looked like they'd been wiped off whatever surface they'd been on, the fragile ones had broken when they hit the floor.

I dropped my bag, biting my lip. I was fighting tears of exhaustion and desperation. Ranger stepped closer and wordlessly pulled me into his arms. "It's okay, Babe, it's gonna be fine," he said, pushing my head against his chest. I was breathing heavily, trying to keep it together. My apartment had been ransacked before, and people had been breaking in ever since I became a bounty hunter. But tonight, it just pushed me over the edge. I didn't want to cry, so I swallowed hard a couple times. Ranger stroked my hair and made sure I couldn't see the destruction. I closed my eyes and breathed in his scent.

"How about you take a shower while I straighten up some?" He asked, pulling his head back to look at me. I nodded numbly, a shower sounded good. He smiled and pushed the hair out of my face, then he put his arm around me and tucked my head back against his chest so I couldn't see the destruction around me, leading me through my bedroom to the bathroom. "Take your time," He said and closed the door. I wanted to tell him that I could clean up by myself, but I appreciated his offer too much. And I was incredibly grateful he had insisted on staying, I just had to find a way to tell him.

The shower had made me relax a little, and when I stepped into my bedroom to get dressed, Ranger had already cleaned up most of the chaos. My clothes had all been ripped out of the closet, and Ranger had piled them up in front of it. I put on sweats and a t-shirt and pulled my hair up in a ponytail. I didn't bother with make-up.

Ranger had made tea by the time I joined him in the living room, and I smiled at him gratefully, "Thank you," I said as I picked up my cup. I wasn't a tea drinker, but it seemed like the best choice at the moment, I was too wired for coffee and I knew I wouldn't stop if I started with beer. Tea bags must have come with the food fairy, since I didn't usually have any in my house.

Ranger nodded as he sat down next to me on the couch, "Feel better?"

I took a look around, he had really done a fantastic job in such a short time, "Yeah, I do. Thanks for this," I gestured around the room.

When the phone rang, I jumped in my seat. Would this ever end? When would the sound of the phone not freak me out any more? I glanced at Ranger before I got up to get the handset. 'Trenton Police', the caller ID said. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding and swallowed hard to push back the sadness the simple readout brought up.

"Stephanie? This is Frank, Frank Thomalla," Frank said when I answered the phone. I grimaced. Of all the people to call, he was probably the last I wanted to talk to.

"Hi Frank…" I said slowly, walking back towards the living room. Ranger was watching me and I shook my head to hopefully signal him it wasn't a call to be concerned about.

"Listen, Steph," Thomalla said, "I heard about what happened at your apartment. Are you okay?" When I told him I was fine, he continued, "I'm calling to apologize." Oh? This was unexpected; I was interested to hear where it was going.

"You see," He sighed, "I spent so much time with Joe, he was a…a close friend. And he talked about you all the time. I feel like I know you even though we only met like twice. So when I saw you earlier…I don't know…I felt like I could finally share my grief, you know?"

Oh well, that made some sense, actually. Morelli had worked with Thomalla for quite a while; I would think they knew each other pretty well. "I feel like I lost a brother," Thomalla continued and I could feel my throat close up, "But that was no reason to make you feel uncomfortable. I apologize for that. I'm sorry."

"That's okay," I said relieved, "I understand." Thomalla sighed, "Thank you Stephanie. What I really meant to tell you earlier was that I am truly sorry for your loss. How are you holding up?"

I sat down on the couch and propped my feet up on the coffee table while Ranger refilled our teacups and checked his watch. "I'm okay," I lied. I didn't feel like sharing my feelings with Thomalla.

"Have you been in touch with Detective Krenzler?" Thomalla asked. "No, why?"

"She's really good, Stephanie. If you ever need to talk, you know, about it, she's been doing grief counseling for a while," He explained, "Feel free to call me any time, of course, if you want to talk, I was just thinking in case you wanted to talk to a professional. Wait, that came out wrong. And now I'm rambling." He stopped himself and took a deep breath. I had to smile, "I appreciate the offer. And I'll think about calling Stayce. Any news on the case?" I was wondering if he was still trying to gather the evidence. He sighed, "We're still trying to match the prints from your place. And I finally got a warrant for Gardner's place, but it seems someone has been through it before, it looked searched. Still, we were able to confiscate some weapons. I'll keep you posted." I could tell he didn't really want to talk about it. It sounded familiar. Morelli had always been kind of tight-lipped about ongoing investigations. Probably I should have told Thomalla I knew exactly who'd been at Teddy's place before and where the evidence was, but I wanted to bring it up to Ranger first. I didn't know how legal the search had been. "Thanks for your call Frank, it means a lot." I said to change the subject.

Thomalla seemed relieved to hear me say that, he apologized again and then we disconnected. His apology had seemed really sincere. I could see Morelli talking about me for one reason or another, probably Thomalla knew everything about me.

"A good call?" Ranger asked. I was still smiling with the handset in my hand. "Surprising," I explained, "It was Joe's partner, Thomalla. He was at Valerie's house today." Ranger nodded, probably he knew that part. "And, well, he…he came on a bit strong, Tank stepped in eventually, but it was quite creepy. Anyway, he called to apologize…" I thought about the phone call again, "You know, he seemed to actually care. Funny how a first impression can be wrong." Ranger nodded at that but didn't say anything.

The doorbell interrupted my thoughts. Ranger got up and put his hand on my forearm, "That's dinner. I'll get it, just to make sure." My stomach rumbled in response. Valerie and I had gone through her stash of snack food after lunch, but it had been an exciting day and I was hungry again.

For a second, I feared Ranger had ordered healthy food, but when I left the living room, I could already smell the delicious aroma of Pino's meatball subs and I grinned. "Thank you!" I said again and kissed Ranger on the cheek, taking the bag from him. "How come the right food gets a bigger smile from you than anything else?" He mused and pretended to be confused. I sent him a glare, but my heart wasn't in it and he knew it.

I ate half of my sub in a few bites and instantly felt better. "Do you think it was Teddy who trashed the place?" I asked Ranger out of the blue. He nodded, "He would be my first guess." I was surprised it didn't scare me all that much anymore, since he wasn't able to hurt me from where he was now. I pretended to think about that for a moment, then I added "So maybe I should pay him a visit and ask him, you know, to make sure…" Ranger slid the blank mask over his face. "Not a good idea," He said, never looking up from his salad. I huffed, "Do you have a better idea?" He shook his head and looked up at me. "Gotta trust in the system," He said. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Of all people, Ranger refused to help me. I put the rest of my sub down and just stared at him, I knew he could read the emotions in my eyes as if I'd said them out loud.

"Babe," he said and I rolled my eyes. Nothing good ever comes after he says it _that_ way. "Just quit beating around the bush. You want to kill him. Now. While he's in jail, unarmed and guarded?"

Of course he just had to word it in a way that would make me sound reckless and stupid. I crossed my arms over my chest and pouted. I didn't mean to, my lower lip just stuck out. I felt betrayed, just when I really needed Ranger, he refused to help me. I didn't care that he was right, I was a friend in need of help.

He shook his head and got up to put his plate in the kitchen, "Babe, I love you but you're not gonna make me an accessory and get yourself locked up for life on my watch." I sighed. On his watch. There was no way to escape his watch, unfortunately. I'd tried before, and in the end I either needed his help or he found me before I did. I glared after him because I didn't have a comeback.

He returned with two beers in his hands and put one down in front of me before he continued into the living room. Fine, beer it was. I could hear the TV and realized the topic was closed as far as he was concerned. I could only think of one sure way to make Ranger lose his cool, and I didn't want to sink that low, even though he irritated the hell out of me. And besides, I might get him to sleep with me, but not to help me kill Teddy anyways. I sighed and got up to join Ranger in the living room.

"How did you know?" I asked him as I sat down next to him. "Know what?"

I took a sip from my beer, "That I was gonna go after Teddy." Ranger shrugged, "It's what I would've done. Besides," he leaned forward and ruffled my hair, "I know you!" I slapped his hand away and scoffed, but he caught my hand mid-air and held on to it. "Don't get me wrong, it's what I want to do as well. But it's wrong. If you do it, he wins."

Ranger had tuned the TV to a ballgame, but I took the remote and changed it to VH1 and some reality show and settled back against him. He put his arm around me and pulled me even closer. I wasn't sure yet if I should try and sneak out later or if I should let it go. Teddy sitting in a cell was still nagging me, I felt restless. I needed to _something_.

I jumped up and picked up the remnants of dinner from the dining table. Then I filled the dishwasher and wiped the kitchen counters, but still felt restless.

I was polishing the kitchen sink when I realized Ranger was standing in the doorway, smiling. "What?"

"Babe, you make me nervous when you clean." I stuck my tongue out at him. Okay, so I wasn't the world's best housekeeper, there was no need to rub my face in it. "Something bothering you?" He asked, leaning against the doorjamb with his arms crossed over his chest.

I threw the sponge into the sink. "I need to _move_!" I said exasperated, "I need to get out of here!"

Ranger seemed to ponder that for a moment, then he said, "Get dressed then." I looked at him trying to determine if he was kidding or not. "We'll leave in ten minutes," He said. I smiled all the way to the bedroom where I grabbed jeans and a low-cut black shirt and went into the bathroom to do my hair and make-up. There were definite advantages to Ranger knowing me so well, I thought. He knew I'd drive him crazy if he tried to keep me in my apartment. I just hoped he wasn't on planning on taking me somewhere I didn't want to go. Like the gym.

"Where are we going?" I asked excitedly when I buckled myself in as we sat in the Cayenne. An almost-smile was playing around his lips, "It's a surprise."

"It's not the gym or the gun range though, right? It's somewhere fun where I'd like to go? Please? I haven't been out in forever!"

Ranger turned his head to look at me, "You can whine like my five-year old niece, you know that?" He was clearly enjoying this. I had to admit I was as excited as a kid at the prospect of getting a real distraction, preferably far away.

Ranger took Chambers to Broad and I was wondering if we would stay local when he merged onto the turnpike. I leaned back with a big grin on my face, I didn't even know why. Suddenly, all I wanted was a good distraction, live someone else's life for a night.

"Where are we going?" I tried again, but Ranger's smile only got wider. Strangely enough, I was able to push the past few days, my apartment, Val, Teddy, even Joe's death to the back of my mind for the time being. I was going to enjoy this evening, I decided, the real world would still be there in the morning.

I squirmed in my seat when Ranger took a Newark exit. I used to work in Newark, but other than that, I didn't know it well, and had never felt the urge to hang out here. He took a couple turns and all I could tell was that we weren't downtown. It was almost nine now, and traffic was surprisingly heavy. Ranger pulled into a spot at the curb and killed the engine. He shot me another smile and got out of the car.

On the sidewalk, he led me over to a side alley where a metal fire door was accented by a white awning. A sign next to the door announced that this was 'Cuba Libre', and when Ranger held the door open for me, Salsa music streamed out.

The outside of the club hadn't prepared me for the inside, I almost expected some smoky bar. Instead it was a small dance club. There was a large black-tiled dance floor in the middle, a bar left to the side, and cocktail tables around the dance floor. The overall color scheme was black and silver, with a few colorful decorations on the wall, giving the club an overall modern Hispanic touch. On the far side was a stage where a 4-piece Salsa band was playing. And the place was packed, not just for a Sunday night. Couples were dancing, men were hanging out at the bar. There were intimate little lamps on each table and spotlights by the stage, and in the dim light, I could tell that most of the clientele was Latino, whites and blacks formed the minority. I immediately got a good vibe from the club. I turned around to smile at Ranger, "Come here often?"

At least my outfit was appropriate, and I was glad I'd chosen the 3" heels to dress up my jeans and spent some extra time on my make-up.

He returned my smile and led me over to the bar, where I ordered the Margarita Ultimo a small cardboard sign advertised as the bartender's special. Ranger ordered a bottle of water. I was swinging my hips to the music as we waited for our drinks.

I chugged down half the margarita while we were still standing at the bar, then Ranger led us over to one of the few empty tables.

My drink seemed to be half a gallon and when I finished it, I felt a lot more relaxed. Ranger laughed when I put the empty glass on the table, "One more and I'm cutting you off," He announced as he get up to get me a refill. The band started a slow song and I swayed to the music with my eyes half closed, so that I didn't see the man approach. He cleared his throat when he stood right next to me and I had to look twice to make sure he wasn't Antonio Banderas. He was hot! His silky black hair was cut short, he was about 6' tall with a café au lait complexion. He smiled when he saw he had my attention, "Would you care to dance with me, carina?" He asked as he held out his hand. I hesitated for maybe a second before I took his hand and let him take me to the dance floor.

I hadn't danced in ages and was a bit nervous about it, but Antonio was a very good leader and before I knew it, I was lost in the music.

Since it was a slow rhythm, he was holding me close to him, but not too close, it felt comfortable. "I'm Alejandro, carina," He said close to my ear, pressing his hand against my back. I thought Antonio fit him better. "I'm Carina," I said as I smiled up at his face. He laughed at that and it was a friendly, honest sound.

When the song ended, he held my hand in his and pressed it against his chest, "One more dance and I'll be the luckiest man alive," He announced theatrically and I laughed. He didn't know it, but he was exactly what I needed at the moment.

After the second dance, he led me back to the table and nodded politely at Ranger. Ranger didn't return his greeting, he had his blank face on and openly stared at my dance partner. Alejandro took my hand and planted a kiss on the back, then he smiled at me, "Catch your breath, carina, I'll be back."

I focused on my drink to avoid Ranger's eyes, I could tell he wasn't happy with me, but I didn't know why. When I finally looked up, he was nursing his water and looking around the room. "Thank you for bringing me here," I said to break the silence and he cracked an almost-smile. "One of my favorite places in Newark," He said. I was surprised. I'd never thought about Ranger's leisure side much, but I would have never pictured him at a Salsa club. He fit right in though, and probably he was a pretty good dancer. "Don't even think about it," He said, doing a palms-up. I quirked my eyebrows, "Think what?"  
"I'm not dancing. I'm dressed in boots, I'd crush your feet," He replied, smiling. How could he have known that was exactly what I was thinking? I slurped down the rest of my margarita and was positively buzzed by now, it was a happy feeling. I wanted to ask Ranger if he usually danced, but I was interrupted by Alejandro, who came to stand in front of me, bowing slightly. His smile could melt ice. He was no Ranger, but he was up there. And all his attention was on me, I was flattered. I was ready to drown in his dark eyes, and by showering me with attention, he made me feel special. And I figured since Ranger didn't want to dance, I had to find my fun somewhere, right?

After a couple dances, Alejandro led me over to the bar and ordered two Cachaca pitu. I eyed the amber liquid in the shot glasses cautiously for a moment, but then I followed his example and downed my shot. Heat spread down my throat into my belly, but there was no burning, it tasted good. Alejandro ordered two more rounds, and since I was thirsty from dancing, I downed them just like the first. The room started spinning when we returned to the dance floor, and everything had a warm glow around it. I felt Alejandro's muscles under my hand and didn't object when his hand traveled down my back to cup my ass. And suddenly I realized I was buzzed enough that I'd consider going home with him. I smiled up at him and he squeezed my cheek, probably reading my thoughts.

I didn't get to say anything though, because the very next moment, we were abruptly separated. Ranger took my elbow almost painfully and shot Alejandro a look. I swayed on my feet and held on to Ranger, I was definitely in need of additional support now. Alejandro straightened his shoulders and for a second, I thought he was going to stand up to Ranger, but Ranger followed up his look with some rapid Spanish and Alejandro disappeared.

I tried to dig my heels in and resist Ranger's pull, but when I fell behind, he simply picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

"Lemme down!" I screamed, suddenly noticing how my speech was slurred. I pounded my fists on his back, but he never broke stride. He went up the small staircase and out of the club, down the alley and back to the car. Finally, he set me down again and I had to hold on to the car to keep my balance. I was dizzy from the movement, and Ranger's face in front of me swam in and out of focus.

"What the fuck?!" I yelled as soon as I found my voice. Ranger didn't move, he stood a foot away regarding me calmly. "I was havin' a good time!"

"I could see that," He said in that calm voice of his. "I'm goin' back!" I announced and tried to turn on my heel, but I caught it in a sidewalk crack and came down hard on my knee. I couldn't feel any pain, but it was still embarrassing. I slapped away Ranger's hand and clumsily got up.

"You're not my father, Ranger," I spat out, "You do not have the right to drag me out of the club when I wanna stay!"

Ranger nodded, "You're right, I don't."  
"And I woulda danced with you, too, but you turned me down!" I continued my tirade. Again he nodded. "You never let me have any fun! You order me around, you lock me up," I pointed my finger at him and took a step closer, "And I only get to do what _you_ decide," I poked him in the chest. His blank face drove me insane. He crossed his arms over his chest and just nodded "Yep, that's what I do, I don't let you have any fun," He agreed. "Arrrgh!" I exclaimed and threw my hands up in the air. "And I can't even have a decent fight with you! That's it, I'm going back to Alejandro!" I tried to turn again, but suddenly I didn't know what direction the club was in.

"Babe," Ranger said and I swiveled around to face him. "What?"

"You can hardly stand, let alone walk. I'm taking you home!" He tried to take my elbow but I jerked it back.

"Fuck you, Manoso! I'm gonna…I'm gonna" I tried to finish that sentence but I couldn't remember what it was I was going to do. And my eyelids were incredibly heavy all of a sudden.

The last thing I remember was sinking against something warm and soft, it might have been Ranger's chest. That would at least explain the movement.

TBC

A/N: OK, I chose to not seek revenge in this chapter, and many of you suggested it wouldn't be right. How do you think Ranger should distract Steph from her goal though??


	23. Chapter 23

Your reviews are inspiring me to write. I'll be the first to admit I'm a review slave…please let me know what you think, either way.

A special Thank You to Stayce without whom this chapter wouldn't have been possible

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JE. Except for the characters I invented.

Rating: It's getting tamer and tamer, this chapter is almost G…ok, there IS some language

Living on a Prayer Chapter 23 

The next thing I remember was the scent of Heaven on earth. I didn't need to open my eyes to know there were McDonald's fries sitting on my bedside table. My head felt like it was about to explode, muscles I didn't know existed hurt without me moving, but the wonderful smell of fries made it all better.

I knew it was at least mid-morning because the light was bright, even with my eyes closed. When I dared to open one eye, the sunlight was blinding and it had apparently woken up the tiny men with hammers in my head. I groaned and slowly propped myself up on my elbows, blindly reaching for the cure. A super-sized Coke was standing right behind the fries and I sucked it up greedily. Halfway through the fries and Coke, my brain kicked in again and the hammers rested.

For a moment, I wondered why I felt so sore. And then I groaned again when I remembered the night before. Unfortunately, I remembered it all in living color, right up to the point where I must have passed out in Ranger's arms. I would never live that down. But I had to smile at the thought of Alejandro, he'd been quite a nice distraction.

I finished my Coke and heaved myself out of bed to take care of the bathroom thing. When I stood under the hot water spray, I felt my senses return. Hey, where exactly had the cure come from? Since the fries had still been warm and the Coke had been full of ice, they couldn't have sat there for long, and only Ranger could have brought them. I wondered if he was still here or if he figured I'd be too hungover to get myself into trouble for a while.

I rushed through the shower, toweled myself and my hair dry and put on my robe before I left the bathroom. It felt too stupid to holler 'Hello?', so I just shuffled out of the bedroom. I was greeted with the smell of coffee and Ranger on his laptop at the dining table. "Morning," I said by way of greeting and helped myself to a mug of coffee before I sat down. "Sleep well?" He asked, a smile playing around his lips as he looked up.

"Thanks for bringing me Mickey D's," I said, gesturing towards the bedroom. "Pure selfishness," Ranger said, returning his attention to the screen, "I knew you'd be unbearable without it." I balled up a paper napkin and threw it at him but he raised his hand and effortlessly batted it back at me. It hit me in the middle of my forehead and Ranger chuckled, "I can see your reflexes are still off."

"It was your fault I got drunk in the first place," I said, ignoring the napkin ball. "How do you figure?" He asked in mock-confusion. "_You_ took me to the club," I explained and took a sip from my coffee. He closed his laptop and gave me the full-on smile, "So I guess it's my fault you feel like crap this morning?"

"No, that part is Alejando's fault," I said and got up in search of food. The cure wasn't food, it was medicine. I still needed breakfast, and thanks to Ranger, my fridge was again fully stocked.

"You won't be seeing him again," Ranger said when I sat back down. I looked up at him, "Okay, _Dad_, wanna tell me why?"

He ran a hand through his hair before he answered, "Because Ortiz is a player, has another woman every night, uses and discards them." Oh. I didn't know they knew each other. "Takes one to know one," I shrugged, but then I grinned to signal I was kidding and Ranger winked at me.

"Teddy will be arraigned today," I said apropos of nothing when I had finished my bagel and was on my second cup of coffee. I was focusing on my hands examining my cup and when Ranger didn't respond, I continued, "I'm trying to decide if I want to be there."

"Why would you want to go?" he asked. I didn't know the answer. There was no satisfaction in an arraignment. Probably he'd be accused of kidnapping and assault or something, definitely not for murder. I was praying he was going to be denied bail. Most likely, he'd take the chance to freak me out in some way. So why was it bugging me?

"I got a better idea," Ranger said, "Let's get you back to work. Vinnie must have a ton of skips running around, waiting for us to safely return them." And he winked at me. I grimaced. I knew he was trying to distract me, but running after FTA's was not very high on my list at the moment. Then again, I did need to make some money. Unfortunately, I didn't have the kind of job that came with paid vacations or sick leaves.

I shrugged, "I'll check with Connie and ask Lula to come along." Ranger shook his head slowly, "You already have a partner today."

I'd expected as much, but I had to give it a try. And it wasn't that I was getting sick of his company, I just felt a bit smothered. "I'm sure you have more important things to do than to go skip tracing with me. Unless of course, you need some amusement…" I smiled what I hoped was a convincing smile.

"My job is to keep you safe," he said matter-of-factly, "So I might as well help." I rolled my eyes, "Really, I don't need a babysitter anymore. Teddy is off my list, I'm not gonna do anything stupid."

"I prefer the term bodyguard," Ranger said and took a sip from his coffee. I rolled my eyes. I should have known better than to try and change his mind. Now I was debating if I wanted to go bounty hunting with Ranger and possibly bring in some of the FTA's Lula had mentioned, the ones that were out of our league, but not out of Ranger's.

My phone rang and I managed to only flinch minimally. I got up to retrieve the handset from the living room. The read-out announced the Trenton PD again and I half-expected Thomalla when I answered.

"Steph, it's Eddie," Gazarra said. I appreciated the call; he was probably making sure I was fine after the stress the day before. "Hi, Eddie."

"So Gardner was arraigned this morning. Thought you'd like to know he was denied bail." I sighed in relief. Thank God! I didn't think I could handle to live in fear any longer. "What was he arraigned for?" I asked. Eddie took a couple breaths before he answered, "Assault with a deadly weapon."

I waited for more, but that's all he said. "What about the kidnapping?" I shrieked, "He took my sister and her baby hostage!"

"I'm sorry, Steph. Valerie hasn't pressed charges yet, they're still putting that case together."  
"And the murder? He killed Joe!" Ranger came over to me and put his arm around me, trying to calm me. I leaned into him, fighting against the tears of frustration that were stinging my eyes. I could feel Eddie shaking his head. "I'm sorry Steph," he said again. I took a moment to calm down. It wasn't Eddie I was mad at. "Not your fault. Thank you Eddie," I said, swallowing hard. He cleared his throat. "There's something else…and I'm sorry to bother you with this…" Eddie said slowly, as if he was choosing his words carefully.

"What is it?"

"I don't want to tell you over the phone. Are you free for lunch? Maybe we can meet at Pino's?" It was very unusual for Eddie to ask me to meet him. We were friends, but we didn't arrange for meetings. We'd see each other at the cop shop or at local bars, or he'd just come over to see me. "What is it, Eddie?" I asked, my stomach suddenly squishy again.

"I'll tell you all about it. Say 12:30?" I noticed how Gazarra was avoiding my question, but I agreed to meet him and we disconnected.

Ranger looked at me, waiting for me to speak first. I sighed. "Teddy was denied bail, but at this point, he's only awaiting trial for assault," I said, keeping my voice steady with some effort.

"That's only the beginning," Ranger said and pulled me closer, stroking my back. "RangeMan is filing the charges for the attack on my men and for breaking and entering. I'm sure your sister will do the same. The lawyers just want to get all their ducks in a row first."

I put my hands against his chest and pushed myself away from him to look into his eyes, "He's a murderer! He needs to at least stand trial for killing Joe!" I said, and the tears I'd been fighting started to flow.

"He will, Babe," Ranger said, his voice calm, "Just be patient. I promise he'll get what he deserves." He brushed his thumb over my cheek to wipe away the tears.

"He deserves to die! He deserves to suffer! I want him to pay for what he's done to Joe! To Valerie and Lisa! To me!" Ranger tucked a stray curl behind my ear, "I know, and he will. I promise." We locked eyes and his dark eyes were calm and confident. Now I was glad I hadn't been at the arraignment, I would have had this outburst in the courtroom.

"I don't know how much longer I can hold on," I whispered. Ranger held me tighter, "I'm here, Babe. Always." He hugged me, then cupped my face in both hands and kissed my nose, "You can do this. And I have your back." I smiled at him and leaned my face into his hand. "Thank you," I whispered.

Then I got to thinking. Maybe Gazarra had new evidence he wanted to tell me about? Maybe it was something confidential that he wasn't supposed to tell me about?

"Eddie wants to meet me for lunch," I told Ranger and I thought I saw surprise in his eyes at my sudden change of topic. "I'll meet him at Pino's…he wants to tell me something he wouldn't say over the phone," I explained and Ranger nodded. "I'll drop you off and Gazarra can take you home."

I rolled my eyes and sighed, but I didn't say anything. I was tired of repeating myself. Clearly, Ranger thought I needed a babysitter. Fine, I'd let him chauffeur me around. Hell, I could make lemonade when given lemons with the best of them. Then I had a thought and it was the closest to a good idea I could come. "I really don't want the Burg to see us together all the time," I said slowly, "Once the trial starts, people are bound to find out about us in Point Pleasant…" the more I thought about it, the better I liked it.

Ranger didn't look like he was buying it though, "You're sick of me?" he asked, smiling. I tried to push him playfully but he caught my hands easily, twisting them around so I somehow landed in his arms, his face a couple inches from mine.

"Are you?" He asked. His breath tickled my skin and for some reason, I was breathless. Am I what, I asked myself, I'd forgotten the context of his question. But I was too embarrassed to ask him. I squirmed a little to free myself but only succeeded in wrapping myself closer around him. I couldn't read the look in Ranger's eyes, but his pupils were dilated and focused on my mouth. I swallowed hard and hoped he was going to kiss me. No, on the contrary, I prayed that he wouldn't kiss me. Oh shit. Immediately I felt guilty for the almost-lust I felt towards Ranger. I didn't know about forever, but now was definitely too soon to be having that kind of feelings for another man. Except, if I was honest with myself, it wasn't like I'd never had feelings for Ranger. In fact just last year I'd finally allowed myself to admit that I loved both Morelli and him. I sighed and the moment was over.

Ranger pulled back and righted me until he was sure I could stand on my own two feet. I cleared my throat and pretended to be straightening my hair, then I picked invisible lint from my robe and made sure the belt was still holding it closed.

"I better get ready if I want to meet Gazarra at 12:30," I said and looked up to find Ranger smiling at me. He looked like he was going to say something but I beat him to it when I sighed and left for the bathroom. Inwardly, I was a complete mess. I hadn't been ready for my emotions to attack me like that, so I went through the motions of doing my hair and make-up to calm down.

When I got out of the bedroom dressed and ready, Ranger was waiting by the front door keys in hand. Of course there was the possibility of someone I knew seeing us and starting a rumor, but if I was honest, I'd have to admit I couldn't care less about that. What I had realized when I was trying to calm down in the bathroom was that I was getting too used to having Ranger around. When he didn't sleep next to me, I had nightmares. And when was the last time we didn't share breakfast? It used to be I saw him maybe three times a week; we had been together day and night for the last week! And a part of me didn't want the time to end. That part scared the hell out of me. What if he decided I didn't need his protection any more? Would he go back to being the man of mystery, we'd have a couple phone calls and I'd never know when I'd see him?

I was pondering this on the drive over, and with Ranger in his zone, it was a quiet ride.

Ranger dropped me off at Pino's, checking his rearview mirror frequently to make sure we weren't' followed. "You have your phone?" He asked before I got out of the car.

"Yes, Dad." I said exasperated. He shot me a look, "Point taken." He said and ran his hand over his chin, then he reached out and cupped my face, "I just want you to be prepared. I know you can take care of yourself. You have your gun? Your panic button?"

I shook my head slowly, "No, I don't. I'm going to lunch with my friend, not on a weekend trip to Afghanistan!" Really, Ranger needed to learn to relax.

"Babe," he said. Predictably, I might add. He reached over, opened the glove department and took out a small gizmo. "Humor me, take this tracker," he said. I took it and put it in my pocket. I thought it was unnecessary, but it wouldn't hurt me, and I'd gotten in trouble for misjudging situations before. Also, I knew it would get Ranger off my back.

I lowered my head so he could see my eyes over my shades and raised my eyebrows at him, to make sure he was happy, and he shook his head smiling. "Let me know if you need a ride," He said when I got out of the car. I sent him a finger wave and closed the door, heading for Pino's. As much as I was mocking him, it felt good to have Ranger watch over me. I knew Teddy was locked up, but there was a chance his goons were still out there, and God only knew what their orders were.

It was 12:15 and the lunch hour was in full swing at Pino's, the place was packed. There were a lot of cops on their lunch break. I sighed when I took a look around, I just couldn't help picturing Morelli in one of the booths, waving me over. How many meals had we shared here? Too many to count. I gave myself credit for not crying at the memory and moved further into the restaurant, trying to get the hostess' attention to be seated.

Eddie joined me after I had ordered us a pitcher of Coke and a pepperoni pizza. I didn't have to wait for him to know what he wanted, we were good enough friends to know each other's favorites. I would have ordered beer, but I couldn't stomach it yet, and I didn't know if Eddie was still on duty.

"How're you holding up?" He asked when he sat down. I almost rolled my eyes, I was so sick of that question. But I knew Eddie really was concerned for me, so I shrugged, "I'm okay. I'm glad it's over." Eddie was in jeans and a sweatshirt, so his shift must have been over.

He took a deep breath but didn't respond. When I made eye contact he quickly looked away and picked up his glass.

"Okay, Eddie, spill it," I said, unable to play the stalling game with him. Eddie and I had always been able to tell each other anything, however painful. Hell, he had been the one to tell me the details of Joe's murder.

"It's about the investigation…" he said slowly and focused on the beer in his glass. I put my forearms flat on the table and steepled my fingers in front of my chest while staring at him. I could wait, as long as he didn't take more than a minute to find the right words.

When he finally looked at me, he looked pained. "Steph, I don't really know how to say this…"

I sighed, "Eddie it can't be worse than telling me Joe died," I said softly and quickly blinked back tears. That day was the worst day of my life.

"In a way…it sort of is…dammit Steph, I didn't want to tell you at all. But I've known for a day and it's already driving me insane. I'm not saying I believe it or anything…" Eddie rambled.

"Eddie," I said a little louder to get his attention. He took a deep breath and looked at his hands. Our pizza arrived at that moment and the look he sent the waitress was almost relieved. I caught his wrist when he reached out for a slice, "Eddie, please."

He took my hand in his and finally met my eyes, "Steph, Joe, he…oh God…he…I overheard the PC on his case…he…he took money from…he made things disappear…Joe was a dirty cop, Steph." He almost whispered the last part and I gasped. As his words sank in I snorted, "That's not funny, Eddie, if you're trying to lighten the mood, you failed." But he wasn't smiling. It was an eerie déjà vu of the scene in Morelli's living room a few weeks ago. He looked at me, his eyes brimming with tears. I had never seen tears in Gazarra's eyes.

I pulled back my hand and tried to jump up, but Gazarra caught my hand. "Steph, I didn't want to believe it either. So I did some research on my own. I'm sorry for telling you, but you have a right to know. It explains why he was killed…"

I shook my head violently. "No, you are wrong. Joe was honest, the best cop anyone can imagine! And I'm not gonna listen to this!" I hissed at him through clenched teeth. "And I can't believe you would repeat lies like that! You are his friend!" I spat and jerked my hands out of his. Heads came up all around us and half the restaurant was staring at us.

Gazarra sighed and looked at his hand on the table, "That's what I thought, too. I didn't want to believe it. Then I talked to Thomalla and…"

"Thomalla and Morelli were friends!" I snapped and Eddie nodded, "I know. That's why this is so hard for him."

I slowly stood up. I had heard enough, and I didn't believe any of it. "I have to go," I said, "Thanks for letting me know, Eddie, even though you have it wrong." I grabbed my bag and turned.

"Steph, wait…" Gazarra said, but he didn't move to stop me. I didn't even know where I was going, since I didn't have a car. I just needed air, I felt like I was suffocating. Stares followed me on my way out, some people tried to get my attention by calling my name, I ignored them all.

Tears blinded me when I finally reached the door and pushed it open, taking in the air in big gulps. I didn't care what kind of evidence Gazarra thought he had found, it had to be fake. I was disgusted at the way Eddie disrespected Joe's memory. I sunk against the wall, I couldn't believe Eddie would betray Joe like this.

Traffic was heavy, people trying to get back to work after their lunch break, and Pino's parking lot was packed. I was shoved out of the way by people entering and leaving. Once I got over the initial shock, I walked around the corner to have some quiet time to think.

I took a couple deep breaths to get my heart rate back to normal. I pulled my cell phone out of my bag and at it in my hand. The reasonable thing to do was to call Ranger to pick me up. Except I couldn't face him just now, I didn't know how to talk to him about what just happened.

Gazarra said he'd checked with Thomalla. So Thomalla had to know more. I dug around in my bag until I found his card and dialed his number.

"Yeah?" He answered and he sounded busy. Damn. Still, it was worth a try. "Frank, this is Stephanie Plum…"

His voice softened immediately, "Steph, hi. What's up? Everything okay?"

No, nothing was okay, but I had to find a way to say it without alarming Thomalla. "I'm fine, it's just…I need to talk to you." Oh yeah, real subtle, Stephanie.

"Of course. Do you want to meet or should I come over? I'm on my way to…" He paused and cleared his throat, "I was gonna go to the cemetery to visit Morelli," he finished. I sucked in some air. My timing couldn't be worse.

"Do you…I hope you don't think I'm too forward, but do you want to come along? I'll pick you up." Oh boy. It would make my mom happy if I finally visited Joe's grave, but I hadn't planned to do it with company. But I guess since Morelli had been friends with Thomalla it was okay, and I really wanted to talk to him as soon as possible. I told him I'd wait outside of Pino's and he said he'd be right over since he was walking to his car already. Was I doing the right thing? Could I bear to see Joe's grave and could I talk about the terrible news with Thomalla?

Ten minutes later, Thomalla pulled up to the curb in his department-issued blue-ish Crown Vic and I got in on the passenger side. I busied myself with buckling my seat belt, then I pretended to search for something in my bag. It was pathetic, but I was trying to come up with the courage to talk.

I could feel Thomalla cutting his eyes to me, but he didn't say anything. He pulled into the cemetery's parking lot and killed the engine, but didn't get out of the car. Instead, he held the steering wheel with both hands and I could see his knuckles turning white.

"You okay?" I asked, and it felt odd to be the asker for a change. I had lost count of how many people had asked me that same question over the past few weeks.

Thomalla took a deep breath and I almost thought he wouldn't respond when he whispered, "I was one of the pall bearers, you know?" I nodded, unsure where he was going. "It's the hardest thing to do, to take your friend on his last journey." I couldn't say I remembered who had carried Joe's coffin. I didn't remember that part of the funeral. I had no comeback, so I put my hand on Thomalla's shoulder and patted it, hoping it would calm him down. As much as I knew what he was going through, I needed to talk to him about what Eddie had said.

Thomalla looked up and turned to me. I could see his eyes brimming with tears and he was smiling a sad smile now. He took his hands off the steering wheel and brushed some hair off my face. I didn't have the heart to pull back, but he must have sensed my surprise because he dropped his hands immediately after seeing the look in my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Stephanie. I didn't mean to lose it like this. It's just…" he took another deep breath, scoffing as he let it out, "I guess it's getting to be too much for me to keep it together at work, you know? Cops, they aren't allowed to show feelings. You lose your best friend, you're supposed to suck it up and move on." He shook his head exasperated. I felt sorry for him. I'd had my family and friends, everyone had let me grieve, he didn't have any of that.

"Do you want to do this some other time?" I asked. I didn't mind postponing the trip to Joe's graveside; I didn't know how I would feel when faced with the finality. And when I wasn't sure, I always procrastinated.

Thomalla surprised me when he straightened his shoulders and took my hand, "No, we're gonna do this. We're strong Stephanie. And we have each other to lean on!" With that, he dropped my hand and got out of the car. I didn't know about the leaning on part, put I figured he was once again thinking he knew me well from everything Morelli had told him about me and decided to let it slide.

He came around the car and opened my door, offering his hand to help me out. I took it, expecting he'd let go once I was out of the car, but he didn't. He held on to my hand as if it was a life preserver. I looked over at him, his lips were pressed together in a thin line, a muscle in his jaw was working. For a brief moment I wondered if there was more than just grief for a lost friend, if Thomalla maybe had feelings of a deeper kind for Morelli, but then I dismissed that idea. Joe would have told me about that, he would have picked up that vibe.

The closer we got to the grave, the heavier my feet grew. When we were just a row away, it felt like I was wearing concrete shoes. I had to stop and since Thomalla was still holding my hand, he stood with me. We didn't have to say anything; we both knew how heavy the other's heart was.

After a minute, Thomalla put his arm around my shoulders and started walking again. I didn't resist.

We stood silently side by side, and I had my eyes closed, trying to convince myself to open them. I feared the finality of it. As much as my brain knew Joe was dead, my heart hadn't accepted it yet. Once I read his name on the gravestone, it would become reality. Thomalla pulled me close and suddenly, it didn't matter that I hardly knew him, I leaned against him, slowly opening my eyes.

"Joseph Anthony Morelli," I mouthed the words as I was reading them for the first time and Thomalla's hand tightened on my shoulder. The black marble stone was beautiful and the silver lettering on it was very tasteful. My heart felt like it weighed a ton. "I'm so sorry, Steph," Thomalla said, "It should have been me, not him."

I couldn't respond, part of me wanted to agree with him. If he had gone, Joe would have come home that night telling me his partner had been shot. I would have moved on by now. Not something I wanted to tell Thomalla. I bent down and touched the cold stone, tears were welling up in my eyes. Out of the blue, Joe's smiling face appeared before my inner eye and I gasped. My gaze traveled over the neatly cut grass and the flowers someone had left there.

I sighed and turned, if I stayed another minute, I would have a breakdown, I just knew it. And I didn't want to cry in front of Thomalla.

He followed me a couple steps behind. I walked over to a bench and sat down, pulling my knees up to my chest.

"You alright?" He asked when he sat down next to me and I nodded numbly. I wasn't alright, but I don't know how to describe how I felt at that moment. There was this emptiness in me, and a lot of sadness. I guess it was the first time I let myself accept that Joe was gone forever.

And what exactly had given me the idea that I could ask Thomalla about Eddie's accusations a few feet from Morelli's grave? What had I been thinking? I'd been thinking I _had_ to know, the sooner the better.

I tried to clear my head and took a deep breath, "There was something else I called you for."

Thomalla said completely still next to me, his eyes fixed on something in the distance. "I'm so glad you called," he said. Oh, this would be the mother of all subject changes, I thought. And if the roles were reversed, I'd slap him for it.

Fuck it, I had to get this over with! "I met a friend from the department for lunch," I began, "And he told me something so….so…" I gestured wildly, "Unbelievable, so wrong, so…I don't know. I just had to talk to someone to tell me it was a lie."

Thomalla didn't say anything, he just nodded. I took that as encouragement to explain, "He said," I had to swallow a couple times before I could make myself say it, "He said Joe was a dirty cop. He was killed because of it." I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach when I said it out loud.

I don't know what reaction I had expected, but definitely not what I got. Thomalla just continued nodding. I slowly counted to ten silently before I looked up. He didn't look at me, his eyes were still focused on that spot on the horizon, but now they were burning red as if unshed tears were stinging them.

I touched his arm and he covered my hand with his, finally locking eyes, "I'm sorry, Stephanie. I didn't want you to find out like this." He said, his voice barely above a whisper. I pulled my hand away and stood, shaking my head, "No, no, no, you got it wrong. Probably you were Gazarra's source the whole time and you…you…" I didn't even know what I wanted to say, something that would right this wrong.

Thomalla stood up and slowly gathered me in his arms. He stroked my hair and whispered soothingly. "I didn't know, Steph, I only found out after. It was the hardest thing I ever discovered. I'm sorry you had to find out, but it has nothing to do with your love for him."

I pulled away from him slowly and looked at him, "What exactly did you find out?" When he averted his eyes I touched his shoulder, "Tell me everything! I need to know. I have a right to know!"

TBC

A/N: Thank you so very much for all your reviews. Do you think since Frank Thomalla knows what Steph is going through she should lean on him and distance herself from Ranger?


	24. Chapter 24

Thanks to all your wonderful reviews I was able to get this chapter done faster than usual. And then RL happened and I couldn't post it, so sorry. But I appreciate each and every one of your reviews, please keep them coming, I'm such a review slut…

Spaciba to the real Stayce, you're one in a million, Babe! I don't know how you do it without telling me to go to hell…

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JE. Except for the characters I invented. But I don't make any money…

Rating: PG13 easily…

Living on A Prayer

Chapter 24 

Thomalla looked pained. "Stephanie, you don't understand…" he said slowly, "It broke my heart when I found out…"

I took a step back and crossed my arms over my chest, "Why don't you tell me exactly what it is you think you found out?"

My cell phone rang at that moment and I pulled it out to ignore the call. I pressed the button without looking at the caller ID and let the phone slip back into my bag.

Thomalla had sat down back on the bench and was running a hand through his thin hair.

"Start from the beginning," I said, "Did you know when we talked on the phone yesterday?" He shook his head. "This all started this morning," he said and stared off into space again, "I was called into the Chief's office…the Feds were there…I had no idea what it was about."

I sat down next to him, crossed my legs and made myself wait for him to continue.

"At first I thought it was about the case, they asked about the progress. But then their questions turned to Morelli, and what I knew about his work…what I knew about his informants."

I tried to be patient, it seemed painful for him to tell me, but I was growing more impatient by the second.

He looked up, "They asked me about the evidence from the last bust, and I told them Morelli had taken care of it. Steph, they said it never showed up at the lab." I shrugged, "So?"

He sighed. "We'd been working on this case for almost a year and it finally looked like we were getting close. We got a tip and we interrupted a huge drug deal. We must have confiscated over 100 kilos. And it's all gone."

I sucked in some air. "Why would it be Joe's job to take the evidence to the lab?" I asked.

Thomalla shook his head, "It wasn't. He insisted." That didn't sound like Morelli to me and I frowned. "So they're saying Joe took the drugs?"

Thomalla shrugged. "Not in so many words. They also asked about the other results, fingerprints and such. Everything that Morelli had insisted on taking to the lab personally…I had to tell them I lost track of it after…after," He took a deep breath, "After Morelli was killed."

"We know who killed him," I said, "and it had nothing to do with any evidence." None of what Thomalla said made any sense.

He ignored my comment. "The crime lab doesn't have any record of evidence from that bust." He continued, but I didn't want to listen to it any longer. I got up, "I have to go."

Thomalla grabbed my forearm, "Did you know his body was autopsied?" He asked and I felt bile rise in my throat. I shook my head numbly, "Why?"

Thomalla looked up, "I guess it's standard procedure…I didn't know, Steph. Believe me, I would have tried anything in my power to stop him, you have to believe me."

"Stop who from what?" I asked confused. He must have lost it, I figured, he was making less and less sense.

"Steph, they found cocaine and amphetamines in his blood."

I'd heard enough, and I didn't believe a word of it. I wanted to just walk away but my feet didn't cooperate, I was frozen in place.

"They asked me if I noticed anything about him and when I said no, they said that's what they thought, he must have used for years. That's how they think they got to him, you know? He'd need more and more money for drugs…they'd pay him to look the other way…" Thomalla was talking more to himself at this point. I saw white spots dancing in front of my eyes and I was afraid I was going to be sick to my stomach since the squishy feeling was back.

My cell phone rang again, but I didn't bother getting it out of the purse this time. Thomalla glanced at my bag, "Are you armed?" he asked and I looked at him surprised. "I don't mean to scare you Steph, but I don't know how many of them are out there and if they're after you. Are you armed?"

I shook my head no, but I couldn't help remembering Ranger's words about the subject. "And who are _they_?" I asked with my eyebrows raised, "The feds?" Thomalla shook his head. "The 'bad guys'," he said, "People Morelli should have never gotten cozy with."

I got up slowly. "I don't know what you're on, but it's clearly too much. I thought you knew Morelli, but you just proved you didn't. If you really were his friend, you wouldn't even think those…those…" I couldn't think of a word strong enough for the madness of it. Thomalla got up as well and held me by my elbow. "That's exactly what I said at first. You didn't see the reports, Steph. Morelli was killed because he didn't deliver on a promise."

I pulled my arm free and glared at him, "You're wrong. And I don't have to listen to you. I'm leaving." I said and turned to go. Thomalla sighed behind me. "I don't believe it either. I think it's fabricated. I don't know why or who, but it looks pretty bad."

I stopped and faced him, "That's not what it sounded like a minute ago," I gestured behind him, "You said they convinced you."

He shook his head, "They were very convincing, yes. But I didn't believe them. I needed to tell you what they had before I shared my opinion. I'm glad you came to the same conclusion, because I need your help, Stephanie." He reached out and touched my arm again and I didn't pull back this time. He had a weird way of asking for my help, but if there was anything I could do to make people see the truth, I would.

"Morelli told me about evidence he had. So powerful, he didn't trust the lab or the vault with it, he took it with him," Thomalla started and his voice had changed to the likeable pitch again. "Not to hide it, to keep it safe. Morelli suspected someone within the department was corrupt, said this evidence could prove it." He took a deep breath.

"Then why don't you hand them this important evidence?" I asked, "Don't you want to clear his name before this gets any further?"

"I think I know how to exonerate him, Steph" Thomalla said, "But I can't do it without you. Joe never shared what it was he had; I only know it had to be small for him to hide it."

We had started walking and were now back at Thomalla's car. "Did he ever give you anything to keep safe or asked you to take care of something?" He asked when he unlocked his car and opened the passenger door for me. I tried to think but nothing came to mind. My head hurt from last night's alcohol and today's shit. "I can't of anything, what kind of evidence are we talking about?"

He shrugged and put the car in gear, "Maybe a notebook, or a disk, a CD, something like that."

CD rang a bell, but I couldn't figure out why. Something about a conversation…hadn't Joe given me a CD and told me…Yes! He said he had burned me a CD and I had laughed at the high school-sweetheartness of it, but when he gave it to me he said to just humor him and enjoy it, but to never listen to it on my laptop. That last part didn't seem important at the time though; I'd appreciated the gesture but never got around to listen to the disk. Could that be it? And if it was, what happened to the CD?

"Anything come to mind?" Thomalla prodded. I wanted to check for myself before I shared my thoughts. "Don't know yet. I'll have to think about it."

"Think hard, Steph, there isn't much time," Thomalla urged. He turned to me when we stopped at a light, "They're making me turn state's evidence the day after tomorrow. The case will be closed after that. Morelli will be made the scapegoat and everything we did this past year will have been for nothing." His blue eyes were pleading. "Is that how you want Joe to be remembered? His name sullied for good?"

The light changed and he focused on the road. What a stupid question, of course I didn't want Joe's reputation destroyed. But I didn't want to tell Thomalla I had the missing evidence without knowing what it was first. If only I could remember what I'd done with the stupid CD!

"Is your car at Pino's" Thomalla interrupted my thoughts. Shit, I'd forgotten all about it. Where was my car? Was it at home or still at RangeMan?

"Just drop me off at my parents', my Dad will take me home later," I said. The day couldn't possibly get any worse, so I thought I might as well get my mom over with. Plus, I could mooch food which I'd missed at Pino's due to my hasty exit.

And for some reason, I needed to be home. After the mayham and insanity of the past days, I needed the familiar bedlam of my dysfunctional family. Maybe I could take a nap in my old bedroom and let everything go through my mind again.

Thomalla nodded and turned left into the Burg.

It was right between lunch and dinner, I hadn't announced my visit and I wasn't in my own car, yet, sure enough, Mom and Grandma Mazur stood behind the storm door, watching me get out of the car. I assured Thomalla I'd call him as soon as I thought I found anything and closed the door.

I shouldered my bag and walked the short distance up the steps.

"Stephanie, what a nice surprise," Mom said, and I knew I was in trouble. She would ask me to help her in the kitchen next. "Good to see you're in one piece," Grandma Mazur said and I smiled at her. "There's some lunchmeat and fresh bread left, are you hungry?" She asked and nudged me inside.

I was starving and it felt incredibly comfortable to be sitting at the kitchen table and have my mom prepare a sandwich for me. I ate hungrily and let my eyes wander over the three generations of Plum women. I could hear the TV in the living room where my dad was undoubedlty watching. In short, all was well in the Plum family.

"Have you talked to your sister today?" Mom wanted to know when I washed down my sandwich with a glass of milk. I shook my head no, "I haven't talked to her since last night. I stayed until Albert got home. Did the girls stay here overnight?"  
Mom nodded, "Thank God we were able to keep it all from them. The poor girls, they would have been traumatized for life! Valerie said she explained it all to Albert and he is staying home with her today to help her cope."

Maybe it was just me, but I could have sworn I heard the unspoken accusation in my mom's voice. Proabably she blamed me for everything that had happened.

"Well," Grandma Mazur said as she helped herself to a cupcake off the plate in the middle of the table, "What matters is that everybody came out of it alive and well." She took a big bite out of the cupcake and winked at me.

"Those are for the girls!" Mom whined with a look at Grandma Mazur, but Grandma waved her off, "There's plenty left for them. You put too much sugar in anyway, more 'n one will make you sick." I grinned. I was sure there was nothing wrong with my mom's recipe; Grandma just needed a way to put her back into her place.

I pushed my empty plate back and helped myself to a cupcake as well. I felt a lot better already.

"I visited Joe's grave today," I said, knowing it would calm the waves somewhat. "That was nice of you," Mom said and she looked pleased. Grandma patted my hand and sent me a smile.

"So what are your plans for tonight, is there a viewing?" I asked Grandma Mazur. She got excited, "Yes, poor Ed Mancuso is laid out," she said, "He had a heart attack while getting his backyard ready for winter. God rest his soul. " We all crossed ourselves at that.

Mom got up and put my plate and glass in the sink. "Stephanie, do you have time to stay? I could use your help upstairs."

I sucked in some air. This was it, the Plum inquisision was about to start. I realized I couldn't avoid it forever. "Sure Mom, I don't have any plans." Grandma patted my hand again and got up to join Dad in the living room. I took a deep breath and a cookie from the jar for courage and followed my mom upstairs.

Mom was folding laundry in their bedroom when I joined her. Obviously not something she'd need my help with, but at least I was going to get yelled at in privacy.

"It was a terrible thing what happened at Valerie's house yesterday," she started. I took a deep breath, "Uh huh."

"As I understand it you saved Valerie and Lisa from that lunatic. You could have been killed!"

"Uh huh" Really, what could I say? She was right, but I hadn't been killed and Teddy was in jail because I'd acted on instinct.

"I think that was very selfless of you to risk your life for your sister."

Wait a minute, what? Was I dreaming? I wanted to ask my mother who she was and what she'd done with my mom. My mouth gaped open and my eyes felt like they were bulging out of their sockets before I got a grip.

"Thank you," I said almost automatically, since I had no real comeback. I was still waiting for the 'But…'

Instead she asked, "Do you know who this terrible man was?" I shook my head to clear it. "It…his name is Teddy Gardner. He killed Joe." That last part had more or less blurted out and my mom's horrified face told me it shouldn't have.

She bunched up the t-shirt she had been folding against her chest and sucked in some air, "Are you sure?" I just nodded. I wasn't going to explain all the details to her; I was still waiting for those wounds to heal. If I told her everything, I would relive it. Mom only needed to know the gist anyway. "He killed Joe and he attacked Ranger's men and he broke into Val's house. But he's in jail now, and he was denied bail."

Mom crossed herself again, "Thank God! But why me? Mary Kuzak's daughters never get attacked by madmen!"

Finally! Now we were back in familiar territory. Still, Mom had said daughters, plural, I wasn't singled out. I spontaneously kissed her cheek and hugged her briefly. She was a little surprised at that but smiled.

"Mom, I'm pretty tired. Do you mind if I take a nap in my room?" I said to change the subject and not give my mom time to recover enough to blame me. "Sure," she said, waving in the general direction of my bedroom, "Go ahead; I'll wake you for dinner."

I plopped down on my old bed in my thinking position on my back and stared at the familiar ceiling. I had wanted to get it over with and listen to what my mom had to say, and she had totally surprised me. Funny, the one time I was sure she'd blame me.

I was glad I'd come here rather than go home. My parents' house always felt like a refuge, even with the verbal attacks, it still felt safe. I'd come here to sort things out, but the familiar sounds of my mom puttering in her bedroom and the TV from downstairs lulled me into sleep.

Grandma Mazur woke me at 5:55, at least that's what time she said it was. "Thought I'd give you a couple minutes to come back," she smiled as she sat down on the edge of the bed, "Rough night?"

I'd spent last night drinking and passing out on Ranger, but I wasn't going to tell her that. "It's been a rough week," I just said and she nodded.

"I don't know if Ellen told you, but we are mighty proud of you for saving your sister like that," she said and touched my shoulder. It felt good to hear it, but I kept waiting for someone to blame me for Teddy being there in the first place. "She's my sister," I replied and meant it. I'd do it again if I had to.

Grandma Mazur nodded and got up. "Well, wash up for dinner, we're having chicken!" With that she left my bedroom.

I went to the bathroom to tame my hair and make sure I looked okay. I felt a lot better after my nap, both physically and emotionally. I still had to talk to someone to make sense to it all though, and I knew I couldn't have that kind of talk with my family.

My dad was already at the dining table with his knife and fork in hand when I got downstairs. Again, I had to smile at the predictability of it all. This was home.

I went and got the green beans from the kitchen and we all sat down to eat. Mom was telling us about the latest Burg gossip and it was very relaxing to hear who got engaged and who had a haircut that their husband didn't like.

"You should check your phone," Grandma Mazur said, helping herself to more mashed potatoes, "It's been ringing off the hook. I wanted to answer it but Ellen told me not to." This earned her a glare from my mom. I'd forgotten all about my cell phone. It was in my bag on the table in the hallway, where I'd dropped it as soon as I came in.

Although it was a regular Monday, Mom had gone through the trouble of making pineapple upside-down cake. My voicemail messages would just have to wait until after dinner, I decided and dug in.

I didn't stop eating until all that was left of the cake was a smidgen of whipped cream and I had to open the top snap on my jeans. I was ready for another nap, but I knew I had things to do. Reluctantly, I got up and retrieved my cell phone. I had ten new voicemails. What or who was so important, I wondered as I dialed in.

Stayce Krenzler had called twice, first asking me to call her back and then telling me she'd stop by after her shift at eight. I checked my watch, it was almost seven now. If a meeting would get her to stop leaving me messages, I'd talk to her. Ranger had also called twice, telling me to call him. I had planned to ask my dad to take me home, but since I needed to talk to Ranger anyway, I called him to pick me up.

"I'll be there in 15," he said and disconnected. Perfect timing, I thought, I'd get to listen to the rest of my messages. I called Lula next to assure her I was fine and hadn't fallen off the face of the earth like she had suggested in her message. She wouldn't let me go until I promised her I'd be by the office the next day and we'd have time to talk.

Valerie had left a voicemail to tell me she was all right and to call her, Mom had left two messages earlier. I'd call Val from home, I decided, and deleted all messages.

Since I didn't want Ranger to come to the door, I said my goodbyes and went to wait for him outside. I knew once he'd ring the bell, Mom would ask him in, feed him dinner, and God knew what Grandma Mazur would do to him.

Mom gave me the obligatory bag of leftovers and made me promise I'd be by again soon, Dad waved goodbye when I poked my head into the living room and Grandma went to get ready for the evening viewing. All in all, it had been a good visit.

I'd barely reached the curb when Ranger's black Mercedes stopped right in front of me. "Thanks for picking me up," I said and smiled at him when I buckled my seatbelt. I realized I was happy to see him, I'd even missed him. 'You see, Stephanie? I told you you've been spending too much time with him,' an inner voice spoke up, 'You don't see him for a few hours and you miss him? Get a grip!'

I scoffed and Ranger turned to me with a raised eyebrow. I waved him off, "Just having ridiculous thoughts." He gave me a full-on smile, "You? No! That's so hard to believe!" I punched him jokingly and he peeled away from the curb and threaded the car into traffic, still grinning.

"I see you've had dinner," He said and I almost jumped in surprise. Ranger doesn't talk when driving. I looked at the grocery bag on my lap, "Yeah, and I have enough leftovers for tomorrow. Unless you want some, are you hungry?"

He raised an eyebrow as if he was thinking of insulting my mom's cooking, but thought better of it and just shook his head, "I'm good."

The rest of the fifteen-minute drive was quiet, and I was oddly relieved when Ranger parked the Mercedes in my lot, it meant he was coming up.

"No whining?" he asked when he killed the engine and opened his door. I just stuck my tongue out at him, knowing exactly what he meant. Maybe I should give him a hard time for babysitting me so it wouldn't seem odd to him.

Ranger stopped me when we got off the elevator and took the keys out of my hand. "Let me just check first," He said and pushed me behind him. I rolled my eyes behind his back but didn't complain, I wasn't too eager to walk into a chaos like the day before or find a sick present. He waved me in a couple minutes later and holstered his gun, "All clear, doesn't look like anyone's been here."

"Except for the cleaning fairy," I said when I stepped into the tiny foyer. Someone had removed all evidence from the mess, my guess was Ella. I was going to send her a gift basket for this!

Then I heard it. Unmistakable. It was Rex running on his wheel! I dropped my bags and rushed into the kitchen. There was Rex's cage, sitting on the counter. He stopped running and blinked at me. "Oh Honey, I missed you, too!" I said with tears of joy in my eyes. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed him and I turned around to face Ranger. "Thank you!" I said and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer, "You're welcome," he whispered into my ear.

I pulled away to kiss his cheek, but he turned his head and I ended up planting a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Ranger smiled at that and I knew he'd done it on purpose. I cleared my throat, suddenly realizing how close we were, and took a step back.

"I need to talk to you," I said, successfully changing the topic and ending the 'moment'. It was true though, I needed someone level-headed to talk to, to go over the horrible news with. My reaction to it was natural, but Ranger could be more objective and tell me if I over-reacted. Still, the talk could have waited. I used it as an escape to cover up the feelings Ranger stirred in me. I couldn't deal with them right now.

I grabbed two beers out of the fridge and joined Ranger in the living room. He'd taken his utility belt off and was unlacing his boots, as if settling in for the evening. I sat down next to him.

"So what do you need to talk about?" He asked, taking one of the bottles from me. I bit my lips trying to decide on the best way to start, when the doorbell rang.

Ranger stiffened immediately, "You expecting someone?" I nodded, "That's gonna be Detective Krenzler. I forgot about her, she left me a voicemail…" I started to get up, but Ranger put his hand on my arm. "Let me answer it, just to make sure." He got up and sent me a curious look, probably because I didn't object. I was surprised, too. What had happened this afternoon that made me glad Ranger was around?

I could hear Stayce ask for me when Ranger opened the door, so I got up and took a deep breath for courage. Hopefully, she wouldn't go all shrink on me, I'd cried enough for a couple years.

Ranger stepped aside to let Stayce in. "I'll be back in a bit," he said, retrieved his gun belt from the living room and kissed my cheek on the way out.

"Please come in," I said and let Stayce pass me. She was dressed in a professional pantsuit that looked pretty flattering on her.

"I won't take up much of your time," she said, "but I've been trying to reach you for days now, I decided to just stop by." I nodded and led her into the living room.

"What can I do for you?" I asked when we both sat down on the couch. Stayce took a notepad out of her purse and crossed her legs.

"On the contrary, Stephanie. Do you mind if I call you Stephanie?" She didn't wait for my answer before she continued, "It's about what I can do to help you."

I barely resisted the urge to roll my eyes, "What is it you think I need help with?" I asked, although I had a pretty good idea. She reached out and put her hand on my forearm. "You don't need to act brave, Stephanie. The loss you suffered must weigh heavily on you. I'm here to listen. To help you come to grips with reality."

Obviously she didn't know me well. On my best days, reality wasn't my best friend, and these past days hadn't been close to being my best. She reminded me why I'd never seen a psychiatrist.

"I'm fine, really," I said, and to me, I sounded pretty convincing. Stayce shook her head, "You don't need to be fine. It's okay to be upset. You just lost the most important thing in your life."

I chose to change directions. "It was tough at first," I said, "But with the help of my friends and my family, I got through it." There, didn't that sound sane? I sure hoped so.

Stayce made some notes on her pad, then looked at me, full of pity. "Detective Thomalla asked me to talk to you. He said you'd need someone to help you make sense of it all."

Hah. As if there was any sense in it! There was no reason in the world Morelli had to die, and there was no reason whatsoever for Teddy to become obsessed with me. I knew I had to keep those words to myself though, or else Stayce would never leave.

"He called me today to tell me you got some disturbing news. Is it something you want to talk about?" Her hand was back on my forearm, and I wondered if that was a patented gesture of hers. Probably she was a really nice woman and I would have liked her if we had met under different circumstances. But right now, all I wanted to share with her was that it was none of her business. And that I'd been _trying_ to talk about it when she interrupted. I picked up my beer and took a sip to stall for time.

I shook my head slowly, "No, I don't think I'm ready to talk about it just yet," I said and managed to lower my eyes and look hurt. I could see Stayce nod out of the corner of my eyes. "Do you promise to call me when you're ready to talk? I'm here for you, Stephanie, any time."

I nodded and managed a sad smile. God, I could really fib when I had to. "Thank you. I appreciate it, Stayce." I said, and I meant it. We stood together and she shook my hand, "Any time, day or night," she repeated and I nodded. I walked her to the door and promised her I'd be in touch. After I'd closed the door behind her I leaned against it. I'd been so close to losing it. I don't like sharing feelings, much less with strangers, so it kind of angered me that she had almost make me break down. Of course she was right, I wasn't over it, but talking about it wouldn't make it better. Eating lots of cake and going shopping were more likely to help me than talking.

I jumped when there was a knock at the door, and before I could turn and look through the peephole, Ranger opened the door and squeezed himself in. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. I just need a drink," I said and Ranger did the almost-smile. "You must have been a lot more convincing with the shrink, or else she wouldn't have left so soon." I just shrugged and turned to go back to the living room and my beer. "Do you know her?" I asked when Ranger joined me. Again, he took off his utility belt and unlaced his boots, and for some reason the Army command 'As you were' flashed through my mind and made me giggle.

Ranger picked up his own beer and looked at me, surprise now clear on his face. "Something funny?" He asked, but a smile was playing around his lips.

I waved it off and spontaneously scooted over to him, resting my head on his shoulder. "So do you know more about her?" I asked again. I could feel Ranger shake his head slightly, "Only that she's the grief counselor. I can check her out if you want me to."

I nodded, "And can you run a check on Thomalla, too? I want to know all about him before I talk to him again."

"You got it," Ranger said and put his arm around me, "Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?" I pushed myself up against his chest to be able to look at him. "No, there's more," I took a deep breath, "I know you and Morelli weren't exactly best friends, but what is your opinion about him as a cop?"

Ranger looked at me for a moment, as if he was choosing the right words. "He was a good man, and an honest cop," he said with such confidence that tears welled up in my eyes. "Now tell me why you asked."

So I did. The whole story, from Eddie and Pino's to the cemetery.

TBC

A/N: What do you think? Is Detective Krenzler really only trying to help Steph or could she have ulterior motives? Ranger asked me and I couldn't tell him…let me know your opinion!


	25. Chapter 25

Here you go, chapter 25. I really hope you like, please let me know, either way.

Okay, so I'm addicted to reviews, I admit it…

Thank you very much for your reviews, in case I didn't reply to all, they were much appreciated.

Muchas Gracias to Stayce for keeping me sane and offering help, suggestions, and much-needed editing. Te quiero, Chica!

Disclaimer: Language! There are only adults in this story and they talk like adults.

Rating: Again with the PG 13

Spoilers: All the way through TS

**Living on a Prayer**

**Chapter 25**

I had jumped up at some point and was pacing the floor while I was talking. Ranger remained calm and just listened. I glanced up at him every now and then, but his blank face was in place and I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

I didn't have a blank face, my emotions were clearly displayed, and tears were stinging my eyes when I finished. I sat back down next to Ranger and took a long pull from my beer. "So what do you think?" I asked when he didn't say anything.

He reached over and stroked my face with his fingers. "You should have told me sooner. Don't hold something like this in, ever."

"I really didn't know all the facts until after I talked to Thomalla."

"Is that why you want me to check him out?"

"Yes. No. Well, what do you think about this?"

Ranger shrugged almost imperceptibly, "I didn't get that kind of vibe from Morelli." For Ranger, that was as good as saying, "Fuck, no!", and I nodded.

"So why would the Feds investigate him?" I asked. Ranger's hand was still on my face and he was cupping it. "You knew him better than anyone. What's your feeling? What does your spidey-sense tell you?" He smiled a little at that last part, and I thought I should never have told him what I called my gut feeling.

"I think the Feds have it wrong, but there has to be someone in the department setting Morelli up." I said and Ranger nodded. I chewed my lower lip, "Thomalla said there was a piece of evidence that could clear Morelli's name and I think it's on this CD he gave me, but I don't know where I put it."

Ranger chuckled low in his throat at my rambling. "I'll help you find it," he said. "Don't worry about it tonight, we'll start looking tomorrow." I knew he expected me to protest, maybe to jump up and insist on searching right now, but I was grateful he'd made the decision. Tomorrow would come soon enough, and we could start looking then. I sank back against his chest and he slung his arms around me. I remoted the TV on and we watched the Rangers game together. We commented on the game every now and then, but we avoided any talk about Teddy, Morelli, the Feds, or anything remotely connected to them. Well, I did, and Ranger played along.

After the game, Ranger tried to get me to play 'Risk', but I waved him off. I'd had enough risks lately. I made us popcorn instead and we compromised on an action movie. It ended up being a nice, relaxing evening after a very hectic and disturbing afternoon, and I felt I deserved it.

I must have fallen asleep in Ranger's arms because when I woke up, he was carrying me over to my bed. I nuzzled my face to the spot where his neck met his shoulder and breathed in his scent before I was fully awake and realized what I was doing.

I felt Ranger hold his breath and quickly pulled back, causing him to skip a step to keep himself upright. "Sorry," I murmured as he gently put me down on my bed. "Don't apologize," he said softly and pulled the covers over me. He tucked a stray curl behind my ear and I touched his hand when he turned to go. "Please, can you stay?" I asked. I couldn't see his face in the dim light, but he nodded slightly before shedding his clothes and getting into bed behind me. I sighed contently and snuggled into him. As his arm snaked around my waist, I felt completely safe and comfortable and was asleep within minutes.

Ranger was still asleep when I woke up; at least his eyes were closed. He was lying on his back, and I was sprawled over his chest, our legs were entwined. His left arm was around me, his hand resting on my back. I smiled when I realized that for some reason, we always woke up like this when we shared a bed, although nothing was 'going on' between us. It must have been pretty early, but I didn't dare crane my neck to see the alarm clock because I didn't want to wake Ranger. It was a rare occasion that I got to watch him while he was unaware; I was going to take advantage of it. His face was relaxed; the tiny lines he sometimes got from stress were invisible now. I rose every time he took a breath and pretty soon, the evenness of his breathing lulled me back to sleep.

When sunlight tickled me awake the next time, I was alone in my bed and I felt strangely lonely. But then I heard the shower run and breathed a sigh of relief. I caught myself mid-sigh and clamped a hand over my mouth. What was I doing? I missed Ranger when I didn't wake up next to him? I am relieved when I hear him in the shower?

I shook my head to clear it and decided I was just confused, stress was finally catching up with me and rather than thinking about the newest issues, I was focusing on Ranger. Plain and simple.

I threw back the covers and pulled down my t-shirt that had ridden halfway up my chest. And where had my bra gone? I certainly didn't remember taking off my clothes and changing into a sleep shirt. But I didn't know what I'd been wearing when Ranger carried me to bed either. Maybe that one beer had mixed with the rest of the alcohol and messed me up all over again. Not that it mattered, since I was still wearing my panties, it wasn't like I'd miss anything important. I smiled at that thought and felt bad immediately for letting my thoughts wander in that direction.

The shower had stopped and I _really_ needed to use the bathroom, but I didn't want to walk in on naked Ranger. Well, actually I did, and I didn't know which was worse. I sunk back onto the mattress with a frustrated grunt.

A few minutes later, Ranger stepped out of the bathroom with a towel draped very low around his hips. I forced myself to look at his face. Unfortunately, there was no distraction there either. His hair was still wet and tousled and water drops were glistening on his chest. I had no idea what kind of monster had woken up with me this morning, but I was determined to slay it before it got out of control.

I cast my eyes down while I got out of bed and walked past Ranger into the bathroom without a sideward glance. Probably it was just low blood sugar anyway, I needed a donut.

I stood under the hot shower and tried to think about something else besides naked Ranger, or wet Ranger or naked and wet Ranger. The problem was, the only other thing I could come up with were Thomalla's accusations from the day before and I _really_ didn't want to think about those. I grunted again and occupied myself with lathering and rinsing and shaving, trying my best to ignore the massage setting on the showerhead. I'd had half a pineapple upside-down cake for dinner the night before, but that was over 12 hours ago now, it was clearly sugar withdrawal. Jeesh!

My shower was cut short by the water turning cold, and I spent another 30 minutes drying off, lotioning and putting on make-up. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten to bring clothes with me into the bathroom. Prancing around in a towel in front of Ranger was not something I dared to do in my sugar-deprived state, so I opened the bathroom door a crack and peeked out. Ranger was not in my bedroom. Relieved, I exited the bathroom and got dressed before I followed my nose to the fresh pot of coffee in the kitchen.

Ranger was at the dining room table with his coffee and his laptop. He looked up when I joined him, "I have some meetings to attend this morning," he said after greeting me, "If I asked you to stay here, would you do it?" That was a tricky question. If I said I'd stay here, I could guarantee something would come up that made me have to leave. If I said no, Ranger would babe me and I'd feel bad for being a pain in the ass. I sighed. "I don't know. Why do you need me to stay here?"

The ghost of a smile played around Ranger's lips, "To keep you safe," he said. "From what?" I wanted to know. Ranger ran a hand through his damp hair and exhaled audibly. "I don't know. From everything. For once, can you just do it to do me a favor?"

"I guess so," I replied noncommittally.

He had to leave before he could make me promise anything and my phone rang when I was still watching him peel out of the parking lot.

"Yo, white girl," Lula said by way of greeting when I picked up, "Connie and I've been talking and we haven't seen you for ages and were wondering if you wanted to come by for donuts?" I had a feeling there was more reasons for the call than donuts but actually, I'd been craving a Boston crème since I got out of the shower. And the Bonds office wasn't like lurking on Stark Street, I figured I'd be perfectly safe with Lula and Connie. "I'll be there in twenty minutes. Save me some donuts!" I said and we disconnected. I rinsed my coffee cup, gave Rex some grapes, shrugged into my jeans jacket and was ready to go. As a concession to Ranger, I made sure my gun and my pepper spray were in my bag before I locked the door behind me.

I took a quick look around in my parking lot to see if I could spot anyone who didn't belong, or maybe a RangeMan SUV, but I saw neither, so I just hopped into my Mini and took off. I couldn't even remember if I had parked it or if maybe a Merry Men had brought it over, it seemed like a lifetime ago that I last drove it. It felt good to be on my own again. I missed Ranger, but I didn't miss my bodyguard.

I stopped at the Tasty Pastry for a dozen donuts, just in case Lula decided I'd taken to long and had eaten all the ones she had.

When I parked in front of the Bonds office, I had a short flashback of Morelli. How often had he been sitting in my car right where I was parked now? Everybody had said it would get easier, but I hadn't believed them. Now I realized that thinking back made me sad, but I wasn't in tears anymore.

I took a deep breath, grabbed my bag and the donuts and locked the Mini. This was me, taking my first steps towards picking my life back up, I thought. Yeah, right.

Connie looked up when I opened the door and a huge grin spread over her face. "Girlfriend!!!" Lula screamed and almost smushed me and the donuts in the big bear hug she gave me. I was glad I'd decided to come; this was exactly what I needed.

I put the bakery box on Connie's desk and helped myself to a donut. "So, what've I missed?" I asked between bites as I plopped down on the couch.

Lula and Connie exchanged a serious look that made me curious and Connie busied herself with the files on her desk. "What have I missed?" I asked again with a funny feeling in my stomach. I stopped the Boston crème halfway to my mouth and looked at Lula who was currently studying her manicure.

"Well, you know," Connie began, but Lula cut her off. "I told you we've been getting a lot of skips in…" I made a 'go on' gesture to signal I was getting impatient. "And Ranger's been busy, uhm, guarding your body, so my man Tank and I have been trying to keep up, but…" she still didn't look at me.

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Connie exclaimed, "Vinnie has hired Joyce full-time. And he's said that if you're not back soon, you won't have a job here anymore." She slammed down the pile of folders she'd been holding for emphasis.

"What?" I screamed, jumping up. "You're kidding! No way!" Connie just nodded solemnly.

Wow. That was a double-whammy. I hated Joyce Barnhardt and the thought of running into her on a regular basis made me sick. But to not have a job at all was even more serious. "What about Ranger," I asked, my voice sounding like Minnie Mouse on steroids, "Is he gonna get fired, too?"

Connie's eyebrows met her hairline, "If Vinnie could find anyone half as good as Ranger, possibly. But let's face it, there is no one." Lula scoffed at that so Connie added, "Well, Ranger _and his team_ are the best there is, everybody knows this."

I was pacing frantically, "Well, I'm gonna tell him where he can stick that plan! Is he in?" I stomped towards Vinnie's office when Lula shook her head. "We haven't seen him since Friday. I think he went on some kind of family vacation thing."

"Yeah, his attendance was mandated by his father-in-law personally," Connie snorted. She didn't have to say more. We all knew that when Harry the Hammer asked you to do something, you did it. And I got the nagging feeling that reminded my I still owed him a favor.

That little vacation had just saved Vinnie's balls.

"Well, Girl, what are you gonna do about it?" Lula interrupted my thoughts. I had no idea what I was going to do about it, deciding some other day sounded like a good idea. Telling Vinnie's wife just exactly why he'd hired Joyce was a close second. I could tell her and then shoot him, I'd pay off my debt to Harry and get even in one swoop.

Lula got up and put her hand on my forearm, "Maybe you don't have to do nothing. Maybe Vinnie has Joyce working for him for a week and realizes what he has in you!" I smiled at her and was about to thank her when a loud crash interrupted everything. Instinctively, we all ducked because it sounded like gunfire. True, a car backfiring can sound a lot like a shot, but in Jersey, we tend to err on the side of caution.

I counted two gunshots and heard glass shattering, then a car burning rubber on its way out. We all got up and rushed to the plate glass window to find out what had happened.

"Holy shit!" Lula yelled. "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" Connie added. I was speechless, staring at the huge hole where my passenger side window had been moments before. On the plus side, there was no fire or smoke, so an explosion was unlikely. I sighed. Probably I was way overdue for something to happen to my car. I was unable to feel anything but despair though. On my list of recent events, my car being shot at without me in it was way down.

"Well, they do say good things come in three," Lula said in an attempt to brighten the mood. I grimaced. Working with Joyce, possibly losing my job and my car being violated. Three good things indeed. In bizarro-world! In my world, just about the three shittiest things I could imagine.

I felt like throwing my hands up in the air and whining "Why me?" but what would have been the use? I settled for a heartfelt 'Fuck!', but Connie and Lula missed it, as they almost fell over one another on their way out to examine the damage from up close. I'd seen enough and had no desire to follow them. I grabbed another donut and plopped down on the couch.

Someone must have called the cops, because I could hear sirens approaching before I'd finished my third donut. I prayed it wasn't anyone I knew. I didn't want to be mocked, or pitied or made fun of, I wanted to give my statement and be done.

The group of people streaming out of the nearby shops got larger by the minute. By now, my mom's phone would probably have started ringing. She'd call me soon. I took a deep breath when I saw the cruiser arrive and straightened my shoulders. If police departments had a frequent use programs like airlines, I'd have executive status with them by now.

Two uniforms were assessing the damage; thankfully I didn't know their names. Thank God for small favors. They asked to see my registration and proof of insurance and at that point, I had to take deep breaths to stay calm. Why the hell did it matter if I had insurance when somebody shoots the hell out of my window? The breathing wasn't working, but before I could explode, a hand settled at the back of my neck. Ranger. Just in time, as usual. A few minutes later and the whole Burg would talk of me screaming at the cops for days.

"Babe," Ranger said and nudged me back towards the office, "I'll handle this. Why don't you wait inside?" He signaled Lula and she took one look at me and understood. "Wait inside," Ranger said again, this time to Lula. I was torn between protesting because I was quite capable of taking care of myself, thank you very much, and being grateful because Ranger was saving me from public humiliation.

In the end, Lula won by taking my arm and pulling me back into the office just as Ranger took over the interview with the uniform.

"Hunh," Lula said when we were back inside, "I thought they caught that guy and it was all cool now." I nodded numbly, "Yep."

"Then who would shoot your car? Maybe it was a coincidence?" I looked up and Lula's eyes met mine. She shrugged, "Yeah, I know, but it could be this _one_ time, don't you think?"

I'd lost faith in coincidence a long time ago; maybe it was when my second or third car blew up. No, this was more than likely a planned attack. What bothered me most about it was that it was clearly supposed to scare me, like a first warning. My car had been sitting at the curb for at least twenty minutes; they knew no one was inside. "I hate my life!" I blurted out. I hadn't planned to say that out loud.

Lula sat down next to me and surprised me by taking my hand. "I know it looks pretty bad right now, but it's gonna get better," she said, "and I'm here for you if you need anything, you know that, right? Although it looks like someone's already taking good care of you…" She looked back out the window where Ranger was still talking to the cop. I followed her gaze and nodded. Then I wondered where I'd be right now if it hadn't been for Ranger. Somehow I doubted very much Randy Briggs would have alerted the cops at any point. Teddy would have kidnapped me out of Atlantic City and that would have been the end of me. I shuddered at the thought and Lula turned her attention back to me.

"I know what you need," she said, "You need a gallon-sized margarita and a shoe sale at Macy's! Maybe not in that order, but that's what you need!" I had to agree. But the only thing I wanted right now was to crawl back into my bed. None of this would have happened if I'd stayed there in the first place.

I leaned back and closed my eyes. "So how're _you_ doing, what's new?" I asked Lula, partly because I was interested and partly because I really needed a change of topic. And it worked, Lula went over her latest gig with her band The What, and how her mike had died so she had to scream to be heard over the music, and how Tank had been there to make sure she got off the stage and home safely. That led to details about her relationship with him, and I let it all wash over me, trying to listen without letting my mind wander.

I almost jumped when the front door opened and Connie came in. "They think they can release your car after they're done looking for prints and such," she said. "What prints?" I asked, "They shot the window out."

Connie nodded, "Yeah, but they also left you a couple presents. Those they wanted to examine, but Ranger told them he'd take care of it."

Oh joy, presents. I've come to loath that word, because in my life, they more often than not meant sick stuff. Like a guy sawed in half on my couch, or a rose and a carnation with a cryptic note.

Connie helped herself to a donut and sat back down at her desk. A large pile of files sat next to her monitor, and I knew they were outstanding FTA's. And I knew that if I wanted to keep my job, I should really show some interest and take care of at least a few. But I couldn't motivate myself enough to do it.

"So I can drive home when they're done?" I asked Connie. She shook her head no, "Ranger said he's gonna have your car picked up and take you home." Just as well, I thought and leaned back.

"I know this is all some serious shit you've been through," Lula said, "but at least you have Ranger to take care of you now that…" I didn't have to open my eyes to know that she was biting back the rest of the sentence because Connie had sent her a glare. And I knew what she was going to say. Now that Joe was gone. She was right, of course, but it still hurt. And besides, Ranger had been taking care of me for a long time now, if I was honest with myself, it wasn't a new development.

As if on cue, the door opened and Ranger entered. "You ready to leave, Babe?" He asked and I reluctantly opened my eyes. "Sure," I just said and got up. "Connie, can you call me when Vinnie gets back? I need to talk to him about this before he makes his final decision." Big words. I had no idea what to say to Vinnie, I couldn't argue with any of his reasons.

"You got it," Connie said, "Take care of yourself first." I smiled at her, said goodbye to Lula and followed Ranger outside.

The crowd outside had dispersed somewhat, now that the cops were wrapping up, but a group of people stood outside the deli and took it all in. No doubt to report it all back to the Burg grapevine, as usual. I tried to keep my eyes down and not look at my car.

Ranger had put his hand on the small of my back and was gently leading me over to his parked SUV. At the sound of my name, I turned around. "Steph? Hold on a second," Thomalla shouted and jogged over. "I got called because this may tie in with the case," He waved in the general direction of my car, "How're you doing? I know you didn't get hurt, but are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine Frank," I replied, "Do you really think it could be the same guys that…that…you know?" I couldn't bring myself to repeat any of the accusations from the day before. He shook his head slowly, "Personally, I don't believe so. But if you have any ideas who might be responsible for this, let me know."

When I didn't respond he reached out to touch my arm, "I'm really sorry about your car, Steph." I nodded, "It's not the first one to get attacked."

Thomalla smiled, "You must be hell on your insurance company!" Ranger snorted at that and I shot him a glare. "It's never my fault," I said.

"I know," Thomalla said, "My insurance company never cares about that though. Let me know if I can help you out, there may be a car in the impound lot that's coming up for auction…"

"Thanks, Frank, but this time my car didn't blow up. I can get it fixed and drive it again," I said. And even if my car hadn't been drivable, I wasn't sure I wanted some old clunker from the lot. But it was still a nice offer.

"I have to get back to finish up," Thomalla said, "You have my number in case you need anything." I could feel Ranger's hand on my back stiffen slightly, but he didn't' say anything. "I do," I said, "Thanks Frank."

Thomalla smiled and turned back towards my car. "I'll have his check run now," Ranger said and opened the SUV's passenger side door for me.

We were both silent on the drive to my apartment. I was glad Ranger didn't need to ask, he knew I wanted to go home.

"How did you know?" I asked him when we got out of the car in my parking lot. He raised an eyebrow at me; probably he'd changed channels on his ESP and couldn't read my mind, "How did you know about the car? Police scanner?"

A half-smile appeared, "Tank called as soon as he saw. There's an old saying, Babe: Trust is good, control is better. I made sure you were safe when I couldn't be there." He put his arm around my neck and pulled me close to kiss my hair. I knew I should have been furious, but I couldn't be mad at him. Come to think of it, he would have reason to be upset with me as well, he _had_ asked me to stay at home, but didn't seem to be.

"What did they see?" I asked as we waited for the elevator. "They have the make and model of the car, along with the plates. I gave it all to the cops. But I'd bet the car was stolen anyway," Ranger said, "Tank said the guy was out of the getaway car for less than a minute, not enough time for them to get into position and catch him. They followed the car but he lost him in an underground garage." I tried to read the look in his eyes, but he was wearing his blank face. This was exactly how Scrog had managed to get away. I shuddered involuntarily. I had been honest with Thomalla, I didn't know who'd shot at my car, not by name. But I knew they were part of Teddy's team, there was no doubt in my mind.

When we got off the elevator, I let Ranger take the lead. He took the key from me wordlessly and drew his gun while I leaned against a wall and waited. I doubted there was anyone in my apartment, I was more afraid of the any_thing_ that could be lurking.

Ranger gave the all clear a minute later and I sighed in relief. I dumped my bag in the foyer and proceeded to Rex's cage to feed him. I dropped a couple raisins and a carrot into his food dish and watched as the pine shavings started moving almost immediately. Rex is a lot like me, we usually get up for good food.

I looked up to find Ranger leaning against the doorjamb, his arms crossed over his chest, watching me. A smile played around his lips and his eyes were soft.

"Maybe you should consider a surveillance system so that you always know when someone comes too close to your hamster," he joked and I sent him a grimace. "Rex can take care of himself," I assured him and went into the kitchen to make some coffee.

"So…" I started, my back to Ranger as I was watching the coffee drip. "Do I want to know what the presents were?"

"I should have known Connie would tell you," Ranger said and I could feel him shake his head in exasperation. I turned to face him, "You mean you wouldn't have?" I asked and quirked an eyebrow at him. When he didn't respond, I knew it was bad. "What was it? A note?"

Ranger nodded almost imperceptibly, "That too."

"What did it say?" I knew Ranger was only trying to protect me, but since I knew there had been more than the smashed window, it was a futile effort. He knew I had to know.

"Ave Stephanie, morituri te salutant," Ranger almost whispered. "Huh?" I asked eloquently, "What language is that and what does it mean?"

Ranger pushed himself off and walked past me, took two mugs out of the cabinet and filled them with coffee. I automatically got milk out of the fridge and added it to both mugs.

"It's Latin," Ranger explained, "And what it says literally is not as concerning as what it could mean."

I frowned at him, "Why don't you start by telling me what it means in English and we take it from there?"

Ranger stirred his coffee, obviously searching for the right words. Holy shit, what the fuck did it mean?? I touched his elbow to make him look at me.

"Those who are about to die salute you," he said tonelessly. I swallowed. "Okay," I tried to reason, "So either someone totally loco or someone who's going to kill himself and wants to say goodbye?" I was really hoping it was the latter.

Ranger chuckled low in his throat and brushed his fingers over my cheek, "Yeah, those are the only two explanations, nothing to worry about." Probably Ranger would never fully appreciate the value of denial.

"All right then," I challenged him, "What's your suggestion?" Ranger brushed his lips against mine, then he pulled back and retrieved his coffee, and I followed him into the living room.

"It's what gladiators said to the emperor just before they started fighting," Ranger explained when we were both sitting on my couch. "So we're talking about a 'Gladiator' fan here, clearly door number one, the loco." I said and I really wanted to believe myself.

"Yeah, I wish it were that easy, too. Loco como un cencerro," he drew circles against his temple with his index finger and I didn't need a translation, "What bugs me is that it could be one or more 'locos' who have made you their prey."

"Do you think they're Teddy's friends?" I asked and tucked my legs under me. I took a sip from my coffee and tried to come up with any other explanation.

"Don't know," Ranger admitted, "We could be lucky and this is a new stalker." He smiled but I didn't think it was funny. I'd had way more than my share of stalkers and if I lived the rest of my live without another, I wouldn't complain.

Ranger pushed a loose strand of hair out of my face and locked eyes with me, "Whoever it is, I'll take care of him," he promised. I leaned in until our foreheads touched and sighed.

"That was the note. What was the present?"

Ranger pulled back and cupped my face in his hands, "This, you really don't want to know."

"I do!" I protested. "You first," Ranger said, "What is it you need to talk to Vinnie about?"

I waved it off, "That can wait, what else was in my car?"

"That can wait too," Ranger said and lowered his lips to mine.

Loco como un cencerro – completely crazy, crazy like a loon

TBC

A/N: So…do you think Ranger should tell Steph what else he found or keep protecting her? Would you want to know??


	26. Chapter 26

Thank you so very much for following me on this ride. I appreciate your reviews more than you can imagine.

Stayce, my dear, I couldn't have finished this without you. Thank you so much!

Disclaimer: I'm just wreaking havoc on somebody else's characters, none of them are mine

Rating: There's some very graphic and disturbing content in this chapter. Reader's discretion is advised

Spoilers: None

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 26

The phone rang at that moment and I jerked back. I still expected the worst every time I heard that damned thing.

"Hold that thought," I told Ranger when I got up to get it.

I glanced at the caller ID before I picked up the handset and decided to let the answering machine pick it up. No way was I going to talk to my mom right now, since I already knew what she was going to say. I waited for the beep and smiled at her predictability. "Stephanie, this is your mother…" I rolled my eyes. If I didn't recognize my mother's voice after over 30 years, I'd have to be missing a few parts. Like a brain. When mom was done, I turned to the answering machine to delete her message. That's when I noticed I had another message waiting and I frowned. Did I want to hear this? I took a deep breath and hit the play button.

"Hello Angel," Teddy's voice came out of the speaker and my knees buckled as I slid down onto the floor. I heard a mechanical click as if someone was turning off a tape player or something, then another voice said, "Do you miss him? Did you like his present?"

The beep signaled the end of the message after that. I was shaking uncontrollably and had broken out into a cold sweat.

That's how Ranger found me a few minutes later when I didn't return to the living room.

He squatted down in front of me, "What happened?"

I just pointed at the answering machine, my heart rate still hadn't returned to normal. It had hit me completely out of left field; his voice was the last thing I expected.

Ranger put his arms around me and lifted me off the floor. I leaned into him for a beat, then I took a deep breath.

"I'm okay now. It was just such a…such a surprise." I didn't pull back though; it felt too good to be held, to feel safe.

Ranger ran his hand through my hair and I could hear his heart beat. I put my arms around his waist and borrowed his strength for a minute, then I straightened my shoulders and pushed back, leaving my hands on his chest.

"What was the present?" I asked, locking eyes with him, "He asked if I enjoyed his present."

Ranger took a deep breath and ran a finger along my jaw line. I almost thought he wouldn't answer when he finally spoke. "No," he said softly, "You didn't. In fact you can't even know what it is, trust me on this one."

I pulled my hands away and crossed my arms over my chest. "I think that's a decision you have to let me make for myself. I'm a big girl, Ranger. What was the 'present'?"

He shook his head slightly but didn't respond. I felt a tantrum coming on, but I knew that wasn't the way to reason with Ranger. He was a man of logic. If I went about it logically, he was much more likely to budge.

"Okay," I started, "Can you let me know why you feel you need to protect me from the truth? That's what you're trying to do, right?" I even managed to keep my voice steady.

Ranger never averted his eyes from mine. "You need to trust me, Babe. Do you trust me?"

Of course I trusted him, which was not the issue; I just didn't want him to decide what I could and could not know. I scoffed.

"Do you trust me?" he repeated. "Yes," I admitted, "You know I do."

He closed the distance between us and cupped my face in his hands. "This isn't something I think you're better off not knowing. This isn't something I'm trying to hide from you to control you. There is no advantage for you in knowing what it is, it would hurt you beyond your imagination," he said and leaned his forehead against mine. "You have to trust me on this, please, just this once."

Ranger rarely said 'please'. He knew just how to use it, too. I wanted to know more than anything, but I couldn't argue with what he'd said. And I did trust him. I knew that it wasn't a bunch of flowers or jewelry, that was for sure. Now my imagination was running wild.

He pulled his head back a bit and kissed my nose, "Can you do that for me?"

I sighed. "You're not only asking for trust, you're asking for blind faith," I argued. He ran his thumb over my cheekbone and did the almost smile, "Yeah, that's what I'm asking for. Can you do that? For me?"

Now he was playing hardball. If I said no, I would say that I didn't trust him and that I couldn't do anything just because he asked me to do it for him. And neither was true, he knew I trusted him with my life.

I nodded slowly and his almost smile became a full-on smile. "Thanks Babe," He said and kissed me. No tongue, just lips, but it felt like he poured his heart into it and I felt my misgivings melt away.

The thing was, while I believed Ranger, I still _had_ to know. I trusted him that I would most likely hate it, but if I didn't find out, I'd lose sleep over it. There was one other person who knew, and he said to call him whenever I needed anything.

"Okay," I said, taking a deep breath, "Can you at least tell me what I pulled you away from when Tank called?" I felt like it was time for a subject change. He wouldn't tell me, but I had to know. He didn't want me to know, so I had to be sneaky about it.

"Nothing that couldn't wait," Ranger said, "I do recall asking you to stay in though…"

"That was before Lula called," I shrugged, "You didn't say anything about emergency calls." Ranger raised an eyebrow. "Emergency?"

"I needed a donut really bad," I explained and Ranger laughed out loud. "Only you Babe," He said and hugged me.

Ranger's pager buzzed and he did some colorful swearing when he looked at the readout. "I have to go," he said, shaking his head at the pager, "Promise me you stay in this time?"

His eyes were warm and there was a promise in them I couldn't quite name. I wonder if he knew it was irresistible.

"Promise me you'll come back with Pino's pizza and we have a deal." I said, holding my hand out for him to shake. He chuckled and shook my hand, "You drive a hard bargain," He said, but then he got serious again. "You'll be okay for a couple hours, right? I wouldn't leave if it wasn't urgent."

I rolled my eyes at him, "Go already! I'm fine! Just don't forget the pizza!" I said and all but pushed him out the door.

As soon as Ranger had left, I picked up the phone to call Thomalla. I told him about the message and he said he'd be right over. Score! I wouldn't have to break my promise; I'd stay right at home. Thomalla didn't know me as well as Ranger did, I might be able to get what I needed to know from him if I played him right. Think, Stephanie, I told myself.

First off, I freshened my make-up, applying an extra coat of mascara, then I changed into a different top, with the hint of cleavage. Couldn't hurt, I figured.

Then I took it off again and rolled my eyes at how pitiful I was acting. I grabbed a blue V-neck long-sleeved t-shirt that just happened to accentuate my eyes and decided that was good enough.

Suddenly I remembered I'd told Thomalla I'd be searching for the missing evidence, and Ranger had offered to help me find it. I'd forgotten all about it, what with almost losing my job, being replaced by a bimbo, my car being vandalized and psycho phone calls. Thomalla would have to understand, and one day could hardly matter now.

The doorbell rang twenty minutes later, just as he had promised, but I checked the peephole anyway. Nothing good ever happens when I forgot to check.

Thomalla had brought Dunkin' Donuts coffee and coffee rolls, and right away, I liked him a lot better.

"Thank you for coming over so quickly," I said, hoping I didn't sound too distraught. He couldn't get the vibe that I needed his protection, because then he might decide he couldn't tell me about the 'present' at all.

He followed me into the dining room and put the tray down on the table, offering me one of the cups. We sat down and enjoyed our coffee for a minute.

"So, you've heard about what was left at the scene, I take it?" He asked. I nodded, "I even know what the note says. What I don't know is what else was left with the note."

Thomalla frowned. "It's very disturbing," He said. Yeah, okay, I figured that much. I was sure Ranger would have told me if it was a bunch of balloons. But I managed to not roll my eyes. "What was it, Frank?" I asked, sounding as undisturbed as possible.

Thomalla looked at his hands on the table and swallowed. "There were some facts we didn't release to the press, to the public. Facts about Morelli's body," He said slowly.

"Like that he was autopsied?" I asked, keeping a straight face while my stomach started flip-flopping and I was afraid the coffee would come back up.

Thomalla nodded, "That too." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, "Whoever did this is sick, Stephanie." Not telling me anything new, but I nodded anyway. "We know who did it, and we know he is sick." I agreed.

"Gardner hasn't been accused officially yet," Thomalla said, "But he definitely fits the profile." I just scoffed.

"What else did the police keep from the public?" I wanted to know. Maybe I should have had a longer talk with Stayce after all. Thomalla still didn't look up; he looked like he was fighting for composure. I realized this was probably almost as painful for him as it was for me. "Frank?" I prodded. He sighed again.

"Morelli's…his body…oh God, Stephanie, I hate to be the one to tell you." He finally looked up and I could read the pain in his eyes, "His body was mutilated. We didn't…we didn't find…all of him."

I sucked in some air, although my heart felt like it had stopped beating. 'Don't freak, Stephanie!' I told myself. If I lost it now, he'd never tell me everything, I figured. I had to appear calm and composed, totally in control of myself. Realization hit me like a sledgehammer.

"But you found the missing parts today?" I asked, hoping I was totally wrong. I saw little white dots when Thomalla nodded.

"I would have told you, Stephanie, but there really was no need for you to suffer more than you already have," he continued, his voice barely above a whisper, "It was one of the reasons his funeral had been closed casket…"

I didn't remember much about the day of the funeral, but I knew I had been grateful when I saw the closed coffin. I was stronger now, but I didn't think I could bear looking at Joe dead even now.

"What was left in my car?" I asked. I was sure it would make me throw up to know, but there was no turning back now.

Thomalla looked up again and I could see tears welling up in his eyes. I could feel my own tears stinging my eyes, but I took a deep breath to force them back. I couldn't risk him turning back now.

"His finger," he said almost inaudibly. I was nauseous. The dots in front of my eyes started dancing wildly and I pushed back my chair to put my head between my knees.

It worked, after a minute of deep breathing, my vision cleared.

"Are you okay?" Thomalla asked, and I lifted my head, nodding. "Yeah, I'm fine. It was just a little shocking." The understatement of the decade, I still wasn't sure I wasn't going to barf. I swallowed hard and made myself meet Thomalla's eyes. "Was that it?" I asked, almost losing the fight to keep my voice steady.

From the look on his face I knew it wasn't it, but I was praying it had been the worst. Ranger had been so right. I really didn't want to know.

"The note was attached to…there was a…" Thomalla stuttered and I almost jumped up to shake the words out of him. He cleared his throat, "It was his left ring finger. It was found wearing a wedding band, and the note was attached to it," he finally said and slumped in his chair, "They ran the fingerprints first…on the…finger…his prints weren't on the ring…"

His words knocked the air out of me, and yet I couldn't breathe. I just stared at him, speechless.

I don't know if I sat there staring for a minute or an hour before Thomalla spoke again. "It's all with the FBI now; the case is being handled by them mostly, because of the murder. It's a very intricate case by now. If it wasn't for RangeMan, we'd have all the legwork still left."

Wait, what? Was I hallucinating by now? I didn't have control over my mouth anymore, that was for sure. "RangeMan?" I asked, finally managing to close my mouth again.

Thomalla looked surprised. "I thought you were working with Manoso? He said he'd get your statement, I just assumed…"

"Excuse me," I mumbled and stormed off into the bathroom. I hunched over the toilet, and my stomach clenched a couple times, but I didn't throw up. I was barely able to stand when I slumped over to the sink and splashed some cold water into my face. My heart rate slowly returned to below stroke level and the white dots faded, but my mind was still racing at 100 miles an hour. My inner eye kept showing me Joe's mutilated body, while my inner voice was screaming to know what else Ranger had been hiding from me.

There was a knock on the bathroom door. "You okay in there, Stephanie?" I groaned inwardly. "I'm fine. Gimme a minute," I replied.

"Actually, I have to go," Thomalla said through the door, "I got a page. Will you be all right?"

Yes! I let out a breath of relief, "Sure, I'm fine."

"I'll call you later, okay? I'm really sorry," I was afraid he wouldn't leave if I said anything but 'Okay,' although I had more questions. They would have to wait.

When I got out of the bathroom ten minutes later, I was alone. My head was still spinning, so the only thing I could think off was to ingest as much sugar and lard as I possibly could. I grabbed both coffee rolls from the dining table and slumped down on the couch.

The horror of the 'present' competed with the feeling of deception and betrayal by Ranger. All this time he had stayed with me, had I been a part of the investigation? When he was on his laptop, had he been updating the feds with my latest ramblings?

The tears were back again, and this time I didn't fight them. I took bites of the coffee roll between sobs and felt pathetic. The nausea returned and I didn't care. If I was going to puke my guts out, I had to stuff my face right now.

I got up to wash the pastry down with the rest of the coffee. That was my mistake. I bolted for the bathroom and barely made it in time. After I'd brushed my teeth I still felt grungy, so I took a shower. It also gave me time to think. My mind went back over the past few weeks and tears were running down my cheeks mixing with the hot water. I'd relied on Ranger completely and I'd felt so safe.

By the time I was toweling off, I'd decided to at least give Ranger the benefit of the doubt, hear what he had to say about it. Maybe it was Thomalla who had it all wrong.

I felt a lot better after I was dressed and made-up again, only the queasy feeling remained when I thought of the note and the token that had been left in my car. I didn't think I could ever drive the car again, and now I was grateful Ranger had taken care of it. Except, I reminded myself, I didn't know anymore if that's what he'd been doing. If he was working with or for the FBI, it could be part of his job to thoroughly examine the evidence. For all I knew, that could have been where he was right now. It's not like he ever told me where he had to go.

I fell backwards onto my bed in my thinking position and stared at the ceiling. It couldn't be true. Ranger was all I had left. He wouldn't betray me like that, I reasoned. But why would Thomalla lie? Unlike Ranger, Thomalla thought I was strong enough to know the truth. And yes, the truth had made me puke and I still couldn't think about it without a sharp pain, but I needed to know.

I blew out a frustrated breath and turned over to lie on my stomach, still reviewing the past two weeks. Apart from the time when I had run away from him, Ranger had always been by my side. And the cops or FBI had never tried to contact me in all that time, why was that? There must have been questions. I'd thought Stayce was sent to ask the questions, but she was a shrink. And come to think of it, how had Ranger known about her?

I grunted in frustration. It was no use to drive myself crazy by thinking about it, I needed to talk this over with someone. But I didn't know if I should discuss it with Ranger first or get another opinion. And if I talked to somebody else first, then who?

The phone rang and I welcomed the distraction, since my deep thoughts weren't getting me anywhere. I jumped up and picked the phone off its base.

I glanced at the caller ID, it was Ranger. Oh perfect, just the man I wanted to talk to, I thought sarcastically.

"You really want pizza?" He asked when I'd picked up. I bit my lip. Whether or not I wanted pizza was not the hard question, I always wanted Pino's pizza. But did I want Ranger to bring pizza and eat it with him?

"Babe? Everything okay?" Damn his ESP. He knew exactly how long it took me to respond when everything _was_ okay. I blew out some air. "Ummmm…I'm not really all that hungry…and umm…kind of tired, and umm…I think I'm gonna take a nap…" Oh, great going, Stephanie, I scolded myself. He's never gonna suspect anything now!

"Babe?" Damn! How do you say 'I really need to talk to you but I can't talk to you right now'? That didn't even make sense to _me_!

I faked a yawn, "Sorry, I'm just really tired." God, I hated lying to Ranger. It just felt wrong.

"No problem. Why don't you go take a nap and I call you later?" I almost sighed in relief. Yes! I'd get some time to mull it over! Maybe I'd call Lula to talk about it?

"Thanks. Talk to you later then," I said and we disconnected. I really felt bad about lying like that. But if Thomalla was right, I should feel bad after all the lying Ranger had done! I put the handset on the base and thunked my head on the counter.

I heard pine shavings rustle and Rex came out of his soup can. I looked up, "Let's face it, Rex," I said, "You are the only man who's never let me down." Rex seemed to agree, his whiskers were twitching in overtime. I got him a carrot out of the fridge and he stuffed it into his cheek, turning him into the hamster version of the elephant man. I smiled at the sight and decided to clean. I'd tried sleeping and that hadn't worked, so what else was there? Maybe I had some form of my mom's gene that would let cleaning be therapeutic? It had never worked before, but it was worth another try.

I couldn't call Lula because I might indirectly accuse Tank. I couldn't call Connie because she'd offer to have the Family look into it. Nope, it was all me.

I put Rex in the sink and threw out the soup can. Then I poured the pine shavings into the trashcan and took the aquarium into the bathroom to wash it out. I was just sloshing the soapy water around in it when I heard a noise. Shit! Here I was, my hands full and my gun somewhere in my purse in the foyer. I stopped what I was doing and listened for any more sounds, but I couldn't hear anything. Maybe my nerves were just wound too tight and it was just someone closing a door somewhere in the building.

When I didn't hear anything for a minute, I shrugged and picked up the glass cage to rinse it out. That's when the bathroom door opened. I screamed and dropped the aquarium, it hit the sink and smashed into a gazillion pieces.

Ranger appeared in the doorway, his gun drawn, his stance badass. He took a look at me, glanced down at the glass shards and holstered his gun. I finally found my voice.

"What the fuck??" Okay, that's not what I had meant to say, it just slipped out.

I wanted to put my hands on my hips and glare at him, but unfortunately I took a step forward and stepped right into one of the shards. Instinctively, I took the weight off my foot and leaned on the counter, driving a smaller shard right into my palm. I yelped in pain and jumped back.

"Christ," Ranger exclaimed. He took two steps and scooped me up, carrying me out of the bathroom. He put me down on my bed and went to get a towel.

"What were you thinking?" I attacked him when he returned, "I hadn't been surprised in a couple hours I needed another rush? Why didn't you…OW!" Ranger effectively shut me up when he pulled the glass out of my foot and wrapped the towel around it.

"No," He said, "on the contrary. I thought you were in danger." I just stared at him.

"Why would I be in danger in my apartment? Aren't the Merry Men in the parking lot?" I winced when Ranger cleaned out the cut in my hand.

When he didn't respond I jerked my hand out of his so he would look at me. "Am I missing something?"

"You were acting weird on the phone," he shrugged, "I thought maybe it was because you had another visitor." I gasped and let Ranger take my hand to put a band-aid on it. I should have known he would notice something was wrong. So much for avoiding confrontation.

"You weren't tired," He added and I focused on my hand to avoid his eyes. Ranger put his finger under my chin to bring my attention back to him, "Why did you lie to me?"

Shit! I bit my lip. What could I say? This was the exact situation I'd been trying to avoid. Now I was sitting on my bed, bleeding and in pain, I couldn't even jump up and run into the kitchen to buy some time.

I pulled my head away. "You scared the shit out of me, Ranger. And what about Rex? He's homeless now. Cages don't grow on trees, you know. And look, I'm bleeding! Can you get me the Neosporin out of the bathroom?" Ranger didn't move, he just looked at me. I could feel his eyes on me even though I was focusing on my hand.

He sat down next to me. "You'll be fine, Rex will be fine. He'll get a new house. I'm sorry I scared you. Why did you lie to me?"

"What makes you think I lied to you?" Sometimes a question was the best answer, I reasoned. Of course Ranger didn't fall for it.

I was expecting a 'Babe', but he didn't say anything, he just looked into my eyes in a way that made me feel like he could see every thought I had.

I took a deep, shaky breath and lowered my eyes. Now I was looking straight at his mouth, and that wasn't any better. Fine, if this was it, I was as ready as I'd ever be.

"I didn't lie to you. I just didn't want to…I didn't know how to…Thomalla was here," I started.

"I know," Ranger simply said. Probably he did have a RangeMan car in the parking lot. "Where were you? Who was paging you?" I asked.

"Business," Ranger said. "What kind of business?" I prodded, "Thomalla said you were working with the FBI." I could see a muscle in Ranger's jaw move and his blank face slid into place.

"Are you?"

"Yes."

"Anything you want to tell me about that?" my voice had risen an octave; I had to be careful not to talk myself into a rage. With Ranger, I had to appear calm and focused to have a real discussion. Ranger lowered his eyes but didn't answer me.

That was the reaction I'd been afraid of. I'd been hoping he'd laugh in my face, tell me I was adding two and two and getting five or some such. His silence was as good as an admission.

I swallowed hard to suppress a sob. "I think you better go now," I pressed out through clenched teeth.

"Babe," Ranger said, putting his hand on my forearm, "You're not part of the job, if that's what you're thinking."

"Then what is? What is part of the job? Surveillance? Interviews? Withholding information from me?" I scooted to the edge of the bed to get up but Ranger put his arm around me. I stared straight ahead, biting my lip to keep from crying. Ranger took a breath and held it a moment before he blew it out and shook his head slightly.

"I didn't withhold anything that you needed to know." Ranger said, his hand tightening on my waist. Tears were burning in my eyes when I looked at him. "You should have let me decide that. And you should have told me you were working on the case."

More than anything else I felt hurt that Ranger hadn't trusted me enough to let me in. I trusted him with my life, and he couldn't tell me he was working on solving Joe's murder.

"Don't you think that if you want me to trust you it would help if you trusted me, too?" When he still didn't respond I added "I think you should go," again and I thought I saw pain in Ranger's eyes at my words.

"Babe," he said and got up, I was still staring at the spot where he'd been sitting. I felt him hesitate in the doorway for a beat, then the left. When I heard the front door close I sobbed and collapsed onto the bed, crying into my pillow.

I pulled the covers up and hid under them, feeling empty and betrayed and very sorry for myself. An inner voice told me to pull myself together and get up but I ignored it.

At some point I heard the phone ring, but I couldn't think of anyone I wanted to talk to, so I ignored that, too.

I didn't get up until the doorbell rang, I knew from experience that whoever it was would probably be banging next. My foot hurt with every step and I looked quite ridiculous with a towel wrapped around it.

I heard a scratching sound from the kitchen and remembered Rex who was still in the sink.

"Hold on," I yelled at the front door and rushed into the kitchen. Rex was given me a reproachful look that would have made my mom proud.

"I'm so sorry," I told him, "I destroyed your house, but I'm gonna buy you a new one!" I scooped him up and looked around for anything that could serve as temporary housing for him. I couldn't find anything, so I put him back into the sink and gave him some raisins to hopefully appease him.

When I got to the door, I checked the peephole. I didn't know who I'd been expecting, but it wasn't Lula. She was looking pretty impatient after having waited all this time.

I opened the door wide to let her in.

"Girl, you look like hell! I thought you was dead in here!" She rushed past me and put a pizza box on the table.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. Lula never just came by. "I tried calling, but you didn't answer any of my calls. Then I got here and Batman hands me a pizza in the hall. You got some explaining to do, girlfriend. Grab us a couple beers and start talking!"

I went into the kitchen and automatically gathered plates, napkins, and two beers before I followed her into the living room.

Lula selected a slice and sat down on the couch. "So talk. Ranger wouldn't tell me nothing. Something's up, isn't it?"

I took a slice and sat down next to her. "You could say that…" I started.

TBC

A/N: Steph just found out she can't trust Ranger. Do you think she can trust Lula, or will everything she says be reported to Tank??


	27. Chapter 27

Thanks to all your wonderful reviews, I was able to crank this chapter out a lot faster than I thought. Thank you so very much. Please continue to let me know how you feel about the story.

Hartelig bedankt, Stayce! None of this would have happened without you.

Disclaimer: Don't own them, might keep one or the other though

Rating: a very tame PG13 

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 27

I put the slice back down and Lula eyed me curiously. I couldn't blame her; probably she'd never seen me turn my back on pizza before. But I was way too overwrought to eat, and I couldn't remember the last time that happened to me.

"I have to ask you a huge favor," I said and took a long pull from my beer, "and if you can't do it, I'll understand." Christ, I sounded like such a drama queen!

Lula frowned at me. "What the hell is going on with you?" she asked, taking another bite and gesturing at my toweled foot, "You fight a werewolf or something?"

"I'll tell you all about it, but you cannot share it with Tank." Lula finished her slice and her face was a question mark.

"Will you help me even if you can't tell Tank?"

"Girl, are you on some kind of medication? You know I'll help you and there ain't nothing between you and me that my man has to know about," Lula said, taking another slice of pizza. "But you better talk fast because right now, I have a mind to call the men in the white suits."

I jumped up and started pacing in front of the TV, but my foot hurt too much so I sat back down, clenching my hands and fidgeting in my seat. I had to tell Lula, but I was debating how much to tell her. It wasn't that I didn't trust her; I just couldn't bring myself to relive everything.

"Okay," I said, taking a deep breath, "I'll tell you, but right now, we need to leave. And by that I mean you leave and pick me up."

"If that's you trying to make sense, it's not working," Lula said and picked up her beer. I had to agree with her. "How exactly did you get the pizza?" I asked her, getting impatient.

"I told you, Ranger handed it to me," She said, looking at me like a mental patient. "So you pulled into the parking lot…" I gestured for her to continue.

"Okay," she said, "I'll play along, but only 'cause I'm curious where it's going. I parked. I got out of my car. I went in through the back door and called the elevator. Then the door opened behind me and Batman comes in, handing me a pizza," she was gesturing towards the box, "By the time I got over my surprise to ask him about it, he was gone. What's with that shit? Unless he changed jobs, he's not usually delivering pizza. And if he is, why wouldn't he bring it up?"

I nodded. "Ranger and I had a…I guess you can call it a fight. Now he and at least another one of his Merry Men are watching the building."

"That would be Tank. And that's somehow bad because…" Now Lula motioned for me to go on.

"It's not bad," I said, throwing my hands up in the air, "It just means that I can't leave unnoticed. And right now, I want to leave unnoticed."

Lula shook her head, "Oh no. Nothing good ever happens when you try to outsmart the Merry Men. If they're out there, they're there to watch your skinny ass."

"It's complicated," I said, taking a sip from my beer. "I'm sure," Lula said and took another slice of pizza.

"All I'm asking is that you play along," I explained, pointing my bottle at her, "You leave in your car. Then you pull up front to pick me up." Actually, I was making this up as I went along, but I liked it. The only thing I didn't know was why I was so anxious to get away from Ranger's men. Secret agenda or not, they _were_ protecting me.

"Suppose I do that," Lula said slowly between bites, "Where are we going?"

"I don't know yet," I admitted, barely able to stay in my seat, "But right now, I just need to get out of here. And then I'll explain everything, I promise. I just can't think right now." I emptied my beer in one long pull.

Lula nodded, "I can see that."

"So are you gonna help me?" I asked, my eyebrows raised. "Of course I'm gonna help you, yeesh!" Lula shook her head, "I'm offended you even have to ask! But if we get into trouble, I'll be in the dog house with my man, and I may get just as pissy as you did when you didn't get any."

I glared at her and she did a palms-up, "I'm just sayin'. And now I'm leavin'. When do you want me to pick you up?" She got up and gathered her purse.

"Give me ten minutes," I said, "I'll be right outside, just like old times." I remembered how I once tricked Morelli in the same way when I thought he wanted to arrest me and quickly pushed that memory away. I could not go back to thinking about bygones now! If I did, I'd get even more emotional than I already was.

"See you in ten, as the big boy likes to say," She stopped in the middle of the room and turned, "And come to think of it, did you ever wonder why they can't just say the whole sentence? Like not saying 'minutes' is gonna gain you a whole lot of time or something?"

I glared at her again, "Lula." She threw her hands up, "I'm going, I'm going. And I'm not transferencing neither, I'm just wondering." And she left. Thank God for Lula. I didn't know where I was going, but now at least I had a way to get there. She'd even managed to make me smile with her last remark.

After she left, I noticed how fast my heart was beating in my chest. My palms had gotten sweaty. Did I really know what I was doing or was I just acting on instinct?

I went into the bathroom, carefully avoiding the glass shards, to find something to bandage my foot with, since I couldn't leave with the towel around it. I finally found gauze and some tape and took the towel off. The bleeding had stopped and it wasn't a deep cut, it hurt so much because it was right in the middle of the foot. When it was as good as it was going to get, I picked the biggest shards off the floor and threw them in the wastebasket. Then I limped into my bedroom to put on socks and shoes. The only shoe I could get over the bandage was an old sneaker and I had to rummage in the closet to fid the second one. I grabbed my jacket and an empty box for Rex.

Thank God I'd rinsed a new soup can for him days ago; I now put that in the box and poured some pine shavings around it. I added his food dish and some raisins and then I picked Rex up and placed him in his new temporary home. He didn't seem happy, but after sniffing around for a minute, he stuffed the raisins into his cheek and disappeared into the soup can. Good enough, I decided and put the box on the counter where his aquarium used to be. "I'll get you a new house, buddy," I promised, "This will only be for a night or two." He ignored me.

I grabbed my purse and made sure I had everything I needed, I even checked the gun for bullets. In the bathroom, I brushed my hair and applied an extra layer of mascara and pulled my hair into a ponytail. I threw on a ball cap to get a half-assed disguise.

I took the stairs down. It took me longer, but I wouldn't have the blind spot of the automatic elevator doors. I carefully peeked through a crack of the fire door downstairs to make sure no Merry Man was guarding the hallway. The coast was clear. I pulled the visor of my cap down as far as possible and walked over to the front door. As soon as I saw Lula's Firebird approaching, I yanked the door open and sprinted out. Well, it was a limping sprint, actually. She hadn't even stopped completely when I grabbed the door handle and opened the passenger side door.

"Yeesh, you're really in a hurry, huh?"

"Just drive," I said. And when Lula didn't take off I turned to face her, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound snippy. I'm just anxious to get away."

Lula nodded and put the car in gear, "Just as soon as you tell me where we're going. I need a direction here."

I chewed my lower lip, going through all possible hideouts in my head. Why I wanted a hideout, I didn't know. I just needed some down time. Then I got an idea.

"Randy! Go to Randy Briggs' apartment! It worked once, it might work again!" I was getting all excited about it. Lula just shook her head and pulled away from the curb. "Randy Briggs the midget? Since when do we like _him_?"

"I wouldn't say we like him," I said, to ensure Lula I hadn't completely lost my mind, "But when I snug away from Ranger the last time, he was the only one I could think of…"

"Hunh," Lula said, and I knew I had hurt her feelings, so I rushed to add, "It was the middle of the night and you were with Tank. I thought I had to solve the case by myself at the time…" I shook my head at my own naïveté.

"And now he likes us?" Lula asked, obviously trying to make sense to it. "No," I said, "That's why he's perfect. No one will expect us to hide in his house."

"Ah, like this reverse psychology shit?" Lula asked. "Pretty much," I agreed.

Lula's phone started singing, "Ain't no other man" and I almost jumped at the sudden noise. "That would be Tank," Lula said but didn't move to answer it, "Probably wondering why I didn't stop by his car when I left."

"Why didn't you?" I asked and she cut her eyes to me. "You don't know much, do you?" She said, "I am not that good of a liar. And probably it was Ranger in the car with him. What did you want me to tell _him_, huh?"

I didn't have an answer for that, and Lula was right, but I'd bet the balance of my accounts that either Tank or Ranger were checking on me this very moment. They'd find me gone and would try to find us. Shit.

We rode the rest of the drive in silence. Since Lula remembered the way to Randy's apartment building, there was no need for me to give her directions. Lula was probably wondering how much of my mind I had lost and I was trying to figure out what to tell Randy.

Lula pulled into the parking lot at Randy's apartment building and I had a momentary feeling of déjà vu. I closed my eyes and shook my head to clear it. In hindsight, I should have holed myself up in Randy's apartment rather than go to Atlantic City.

"You all right?" Lula asked as she killed the engine. "Yeah, I'm fine," I said, "Just thinking about the last time I hid here."

"Who would have thought the little guy is your new favorite hideout," Lula said and I snorted. "I had to come up with a place Ranger wouldn't think of. Do you have any idea how hard that is?"

Now Lula snorted, "I wouldn't even try."

We got out of the car and I took a look around to see if anyone had followed us. I knew that if Rangemen didn't want to be seen they would be impossible to spot, but I was nervous.

Lula looked at me as I was limping over to the front entrance, "You need help or something?"

"I cut myself when I dropped Rex's cage," I said because I knew that's what she really wanted to know, "It just hurts when I walk, I'm fine."

Once we got to Randy's floor, I got anxious and tried to walk faster. Judging by Lula's laughter, it was a funny sight.

I rang Randy's doorbell, shifting my weight to my healthy foot. Lula caught up with me when I pressed the button a second time. "Guess he not home," She said. I shook my head, "Probably he just hopes I go away if he doesn't answer."

But when we still hadn't heard a peep from inside after I'd given the doorbell a good workout, I had to agree with Lula. I sighed, "Okay, on to door number two I guess."

Lula crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head, "Not before you tell me what the fuck is going on here. You know I'll help you no matter what, but you gotta fill me in." I leaned against the wall, suddenly pretty exhausted. "Can we talk about this in the car? I'm pretty beat," I said.

"Nuh-uh," Lula said, "I'm not going anywhere until I know what's happening. In fact," She gave Randy's door another look, "Right here might be fine." Before I could stop her, she lifted one of her boot-clad feet and gave the door a good kick and it flew open.

My eyes widened. "I can't believe you did that," I stage-whispered, "Why did you do that?" Lula helped me into the apartment. "Told you I wasn't going nowhere until you fill me in," Lula shrugged, "And besides, you don't look so hot and I need to know now, before I decide the hospital might be the better place for you," she said as if she kicked doors in on a regular basis, "You're kind of scaring me right now"

"I'm kinda scaring myself right now," I admitted. Christina Aguilera announced that Lula had another call and again she ignored it. Two hours with me, and already she was picking up my bad habits.

Come to think of it, why wasn't _my_ cell phone ringing? I hobbled over to the couch in the living room with Lula's help and put my foot up. Then I grabbed my cell phone out of my pocketbook to make sure it was on. Yep, it was on and getting a strong signal.

My guess was that the second call from Tank came after he had discovered I was gone. Had Ranger asked him to call rather than call me himself? That didn't sound like Ranger, but I was sure he knew I wasn't in my apartment anymore, and the fact that he hadn't called me didn't sound like him either. I was making my head hurt.

Lula picked up her phone and I raised my eyebrows at her. 'It's okay,' she mouthed. "Yo Tito," she said into the mouthpiece, "It's Lula. What's that no-good brother of yours up to?" She listened. I didn't know a Tito. "Uh-huh. Well, put him on, I need his help. He _does_ owe me a favor, you know," Lula said and shot me a look while she waited. I assumed Tito's brother came on the line because she got much friendlier. Then she gave out Randy's address and told him to bring his stuff. My eyes grew wide. "Who is Tito?" I asked when she disconnected, "And why is his brother coming here?"

"I need coffee," Lula announced, "And some sugar. Let's see what's in the kitchen." She took off into the open kitchen and started searching cabinets. I felt kind of bad for invading Randy's space like this, but I'd explain it all to him and pay him for the damage, I decided.

"Tito's brother is a medic," Lula said from the kitchen while she prepped the coffee maker, "I figured you wouldn't go to a hospital, so I'd bring the next best thing here. You need that foot looked at."

I got choked up at her thoughtfulness. On my best day, I hated hospitals, and I was nowhere near my best day.

Lula sat down next to me and handed me coffee, then she blew on her own and took a sip. "We got some time before he'll get here," She said, "You might as well tell me what's the what. I'm gonna take a wild guess here and say it involves Ranger."

I nodded and took a sip from my coffee. "Figured. No other reason you'd make sure I wouldn't tell Tank." She sat back and drank her coffee.

"Do you trust him?" I asked after a minute. "Who, Tank?" She wanted to know. "Yes, Tank. And Ranger, I guess."

"Absolutely. And I don't say that lightly neither. It takes a lot for me to trust a man, any man. Those two, I trust."

Lula was a ho in her former life, I thought that if she learned one thing, it was how to read men. No matter how they appeared, she would see through that to their core. And if she trusted Ranger, why couldn't I?

"Do you know what Tank's working on?" I asked. Lula shrugged, "Mostly he's keeping your ass safe. He told me about the trip to Point Pleasant. We don't talk about work much, actually…"

'Or talk at all,' her smile said. I sighed. Lula's relationship with Tank seemed so simple, so uncomplicated.

"Well, they're working with the FBI on Joe's murder case," I said, pausing to let that information settle. "So?" Lula said and drank some more coffee.

"So Ranger never told me!" I exclaimed and waved my hands around for emphasis, since I couldn't jump up.

"And?" Lula asked. Not provokingly, it really seemed like she was still waiting for me to get to the point. I scoffed. "So you think that's okay? He's been working on the case behind my back, doing the FBI's legwork, and he never told me about it."

"That's what this is about?" Lula asked, her eyebrows raised. She gestured at the apartment as if it summed up her confusion.

"Well, yeah," I said. I couldn't understand how she was not outraged by it at all. "Are you saying you'd be okay with Tank working on something so important to you and never telling you about it?"

Lula thought about that for a moment. "If he did, he must have had a damned good reason for it. Ranger doesn't do _anything_ just for the hell of it."

"Like what?" I said, "What would be a good reason to keep all that from me?" Lula turned to face me. "Well, I don't know, it's his reason, but after what he's been doing for you in the past couple weeks…"

I held up my hand and interrupted her, "You mean what he was paid to do for me?"

Lula snorted, "Yeah, right. 'Cause usually Ranger doesn't do anything for you without getting paid for it, I forgot. My bad," she said, shaking her head, "Girlfriend, did you hit your head or something?"

I huffed. "If it was just a regular job and he didn't have anything to hide, why would he clam up when I confronted him about it? Why does he have Tank call you instead of calling me directly, huh?"

"I don't know," Lula said, "but he must have a damned good reason, that's for sure." I sighed exasperated. "You said that already."

Lula straightened her shoulders, "Well, it's true. How you can even think Ranger would be working against you is beyond me. Maybe you didn't have your sugar today. More likely, this whole mess is overwhelming you," She said and patted my knee. "You need some rest and some time to think it all through. You got it all wrong, I'm sure."

"Well, riddle me this, Batgirl," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm, "The killer is in jail, I'm safe. How come there's a RangeMan watching me 24/7, huh? And if there's a damned good reason as you say there is, why keep it from me, huh?"

"That's your reason for this sneaky shit?" Lula asked, her eyebrows meeting her hairline, "Why are you so hell bent on losing your bodyguards?"

I slumped back. "Because I don't know who to trust anymore," I almost whispered and closed my eyes.

I flinched when the doorbell rang. "That would be Miguelito." Lula said and put her mug on the coffee table, "But don't call him that. Everybody calls him Miguel to his face. He's cool, relax." With that, she got up and sauntered over to the front door.

"Use the Intercom," I reminded her, "If it's Tank, I'd like some warning at least!" Lula rolled her eyes at me but pushed the button just the same.

"Who there?" she asked. "Cut the shit, Lula," came the response, "it's Miguel. You called me over here." Lula turned and grinned at me before she pressed the door-release button. "See? It's all good," she said.

I didn't think anything was good, but at least Tank and Ranger wouldn't be storming up here in the next five minutes. Beyond that, I wasn't sure.

Lula opened the door and a guy that looked like a cover model for People en Español stepped in. He was about 5'10", in his mid- to late thirties with short black hair, mocha skin and fiery black eyes. He was dressed in jeans and sweatshirt and was carrying an aluminum case with a big red cross on it. He looked more like an actor playing a medic.

"This here's Stephanie, Miguel. She needs your help," Lula said and motioned towards me. Miguel stepped closer and extended his hand. "Miguel Verastegui, nice to meet you."

I cleared my throat, "Stephanie Plum. I don't know if I actually need your help but some pills to fall into a deep coma and wake up in a couple months would be nice."

Miguel chuckled and put his case down. He undid my bandage job and took a look at my foot. "It's not so bad," He said, "What happened?"

"I stepped into some glass," I said and held my hand up,"Then I accidentally put my hand in it for good measure." Miguel nodded and took a small bottle and some gauze out of his bag. "Your tetanus shots are up to date?" He asked. I nodded eagerly. I couldn't even remember my last shot, but there was no need to share that with this hot medic. Just because he was good looking didn't mean he got to poke a needle into me.

Miguel cleaned up the cuts and I barely managed to not jerk my foot away from him. Whatever he was using on it stung like hell. He checked my hand too and put a fresh band-aid on it before he smeared some ointment on the cut and bandaged my foot all professionally. When he was done, he put all his stuff back into his case. "You'll be fine," He said getting up, "No need to spend hours in an ER waiting room. I don't think either wound needs stitches. Just don't wear any tight shoes or run a marathon for a week."

I thanked him and Lula saw him out, assuring him that they were even now from that thing with the guy in the place or something. Miguel had given me a pill and it was making me sleepy. I'd only been half kidding when I asked for a coma pill, so I was hoping he had obliged and I would wake up sometime in February. I closed my eyes and sank back into the pillows. Lula's phone was ringing again.

"If that's Tank, talk to him," I said without opening my eyes, "I don't want him to worry about you. Just don't tell him where we are."

"Hunh," Lula said, "What should I say when he asks me where I am? I'd rather not talk to him than lie to him." I could see her point. I may ask her to do something semi-legal but I wouldn't ask her to lie to Tank for me. Not telling him something was as far as I would take it.

"So what was the plan after sneaking away from Ranger and his men who were protecting your ass from creeps that shoot out your car window?" Lula asked when she sat back down next to me.

When she put it that way I had no response. "I haven't thought that far ahead," I admitted. She nodded, "Figured as much. How're you feeling?"

"I'd love to take a nap. Whatever Miguel gave me is mellowing me out," I said. Lula nodded, "Go get some rest then. I'll handle Randy when he comes back."

"And you're not gonna call Ranger?"

Lula sighed. "No, I'm not gonna call Ranger. I wish you'd get over this Ranger's-the-bad-guy shit, but that's your call to make. 'Less you forgot to mention something, I still don't see what the big deal is."

"It's complicated," I defended myself. Lula snorted, "I'll bet." We seemed to be having the same conversation all over again.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, trying to stay calm. "Let me run this by you again and you correct me if I'm wrong," Lula stood up and gestured while she talked, "You hole up in your bed and would probably still be there if Ranger hadn't hauled your ass back into the here and now." She looked at me to see if I was going to object. When I didn't, she used her fingers as she went on to count off Ranger's actions.

"He drops what he's doing, reassigns projects so that he can protect you 'round the clock. When you get yourself kidnapped, he doesn't let himself or his men sleep for 48 hours until he finds you, then he plans this major mission with most of his men to trap your guy in Point Pleasant and -"

"All right, all right," I interrupted her, putting my hand up in a 'Stop' gesture. "When you're done singing St. Ranger's praises, can you focus on how he had his own agenda the whole time and was reporting back to the feds?"

"What makes you think that just because he was working for them he told them everything that went on? Did you ask him what he was doing for them?" Lula was standing with her hands on her hips, challenging me.

"Yes, and he wouldn't tell me," I said, "So it's pretty clear that he doesn't trust me."

"Hunh," Lula huffed. She looked around, "We need to talk about that more. But this here is a junk food situation and there ain't no junk food in the house. I'm gonna go get some, I can't think on an empty stomach." She grabbed her bag and marched towards the door. I didn't dare mention the pizza she'd had less than an hour ago, it wasn't smart to challenge Lula in her Rhino mode.

I could still hear her talking to herself as she walked down the hallway when my phone rang. It was Thomalla and I sighed. He never had good news for me. But he was the only one treating me like an equal, I _had_ to talk to him.

"Steph, it's Frank," He said when I answered the phone. "I need to talk to you about that evidence again."

"What about it?" I asked. He hesitated a moment, then he took a noisy breath. "They moved Gardner's hearing up to tomorrow. You should have gotten a subpoena today."

I frowned. "Why would I have to be there?"

"You are the state's only witness for the kidnapping charges. Didn't the DA call you?" Thomalla said. My stomach turned. I didn't want to see Teddy again, ever, unless he was hanging from a tree or bleeding to death. "I haven't gotten anything," I replied.

"Ranger may have handled it for you," Thomalla said matter-of-factly and I felt my earlier anger at Ranger return. "The point is they're asking you to be there. Don't worry though, I'll be there with you. But I was hoping we could present the additional evidence at that time, make the state's case stronger."

"Frank, I'm sorry, I didn't have the time to look for it. I'm not at home right now, so…"  
"No problem," Thomalla said and I exhaled relieved. He was the only one I knew who wasn't pressuring me at this point. "I'd like to go over the case with you, since the DA won't have time to prep you."

I nodded and was about to reply when a banging on the door interrupted me. Trust Lula to pull a damaged door shut so it won't open, I thought.

"Hold on a second," I told Thomalla and heaved myself off the couch. "So what did you have in mind?" I asked him as I limped over to get the door. I was focusing on what he was saying and just pulled the door open, expecting Lula.

I gasped and the phone fell out of my hand when I looked at Ranger. He was standing an inch from the door, his arms crossed over his chest, his face blank. Shit!

I bend down to retrieve the phone, anything to avoid looking at him. I knew slamming the door shut wouldn't help; Ranger would be in before I could make a move. So I just turned away from him.

"Sorry, I dropped the phone. What were you saying?" I picked up the conversation again as if nothing had happened. My heart was hammering in my chest, but my voice sounded normal.

"How about we meet for dinner?" Thomalla suggested. I could hear Ranger closing the door behind me. "Dinner sounds good," I said, "But I'm a little immobile right now…" Apart from the fact that I could hardly walk, I didn't have my car with me.

"Okay," Thomalla said, "How about dinner comes to you then? I'll get take-out. Where are you?"

I stole a glance at Ranger. He was standing in the living room, watching me. And suddenly I felt the urge to get even.

"I can't talk right now, but that sounds good. How about 8? I'm at a friend's house, at the Cloverleaf Apartments on Grand? Call me when you get in, I'll give you the details." I may have sounded a little flirtier than was appropriate. Thomalla agreed and we disconnected.

I shut the phone and hobbled back to the couch, still not looking at Ranger.

"You don't have to talk to me," He started and luckily I was at the couch by then or else I would have betrayed my cool exterior by flinching. This way, I could pretend it was part of my sitting down routine.

"You're damned right I don't have to," I responded coolly. I didn't feel cool and composed, I wanted to flail my arms and yell, but I managed to control myself. "As a matter of fact, I don't have to do anything I don't want to. I certainly don't need _your_ permission for anything I _do_ want to do." Ranger stepped closer and sat down on the coffee table, facing me. "I thought we'd agreed you aren't gonna run away from me anymore?" He said softly.

I just snorted. I wanted to tell him that was a deal we had before he went and broke _all_ deals, but instead I went into the defensive. "An animal in the zoo runs away, Ranger," I said pointedly, "I merely left my apartment with a friend of mine. You have a problem with me shedding the leash you have me on?"

"Who's coming for dinner?" Ranger asked. Aha. Was I getting too close to the truth? I finally met his eyes. "None of your business," I hissed. I'd never before hissed at Ranger. I wasn't even all that mad at him anymore, the way he was sitting there, looking at me. But now it was too late, my pride wouldn't let me give in. "Trust is a two-way street, Ranger. I'll tell you who I'm having dinner with when you tell me what you're doing working with the feds."

Ranger let out a long breath and looked at the bandage on my foot. He ran his hand over the gauze and I sucked in some air when his fingers touched the bare skin of my calf. I couldn't help being glad that I had shaved my legs in the shower that morning, but I really wanted to pull away from his touch. I wanted to tell him to 'keep his dirty paws off me' or something equally pissy.

Except I couldn't. He was massaging my calf with his strong fingers and I felt all the tension from the limping and hobbling melt away. I just barely bit back a moan. My eyes shut on their own. I almost protested when he removed his fingers, then I heard him move and sit down behind me on the couch. His hands settled on my shoulders and worked their magic inwards. If I'd been a cat, I would have purred. Being a woman, I bit my tongue to keep inappropriate sounds in. I was mad at my body for betraying me like this, and I was mad at Ranger for knowing it would.

I didn't even notice I was leaning back until I settled against Ranger's broad chest.

A smile crept across my lips as I noticed what he was doing. "You can't make me change my mind, you know," I said wistfully.

He moved forward until his lips almost touched my earlobe, "Wanna bet?" He whispered and I could feel him smile as his breath tickled the sensitive skin around my ear.

"It's the pill Miguelito gave me. He knew just what I needed, it mellowed me out," I said.

"Who's Migue_lito_?"

A/N: Ready to forgive and forget? Do you think Steph should get over it and work with Ranger again or should she stick with Lula and distance herself from Ranger? Would Ranger let her if she wanted to work alone??


	28. Chapter 28

Thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing. If I didn't get to thank you personally, I appreciated all the feedback I got. Please keep it up.

A special thanks to Stayce for everything. Thanks to her, this chapter makes sense. If it doesn't, that would be my fault.

Disclaimer: The title belongs to Bon Jovi and the characters belong to JE, sadly.

Rating: PG all the way. Well, there's _some_ language… 

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 28

"Mmmm," I just replied, leaving it open to Ranger's imagination if I was sharing my opinion of Miguel or responding to his massage.

"Is that who's coming for dinner?" Ranger asked and I smiled to myself. "What are you working on?" I asked, finally gaining enough control to lean forward a little. It didn't do me any good, Ranger just resumed his massage. I wondered if I should ask him how he found me, but I knew the answer already. Probably he had traced Lula's cell phone. It didn't matter anyway, he was here.

I took a deep breath and tried to ignore what my body was trying to tell me. I pulled forward enough to be out of his touch and turned around to face him, placing my feet on the floor. "I mean it, Ranger," I said with a calm I didn't feel. "You can't just massage your way out of this one! Either you tell me, right now, since when and why and how you work with the FBI or I don't ever want to see you again."

Huh? Where'd that come from? That was not what I'd been meaning to say at all! I'd been thinking more along the lines of 'You know what they say about paybacks? Well, I'm the bitch.' Instead I issued an ultimatum! The pill, I reasoned. I wasn't thinking straight.

"You don't mean that," Ranger said with a hint of a smile on his lips. No, I didn't, but I couldn't think of anything better to say either.

"Are you gonna tell me?" Right, I thought, get the ball into his court. Ranger took a deep breath and ran his palm over his chin before he locked eyes with me.

"What do you want me to say?" He asked. "That I'm sorry? That I'll never do it again?" He reached out and ran his finger over my chin. "I did what I thought was right. And I would do it again if it meant keeping you safe. It's nothing personal, it's just business." He held on to my arm when I tried to move. I wanted to hear him out, but I needed distance from him. And I was so nervous that I couldn't sit still.

"I am sorry you had to hear it from someone else," he continued. "I would have told you, it just never came up."

"But…" I tried to protest, but Ranger put his fingers over my mouth. "No Babe, let me finish."

He took my hands in his to keep them still. "The men I assign to watch you are could be on another job. I'll happily spare them, but when you run away like today, it defeats the purpose."

"And you bleed money," I completed his sentence, "Is that what you're trying to say? I'm too expensive a line item in your budget?" I couldn't believe I'd been ready to forgive him minutes ago. I angrily pulled my hands out of his grip and tried to get up. Ranger swore under his breath and put his hands on my shoulders.

"Will you just listen? This is not about money. It's about you and your complete disregard for our efforts."

My jaw dropped. I was too shocked to move. I just stared at Ranger, hoping I'd heard wrong, that somehow the pill had been a hallucinogenic and I was making it all up.

"Please tell me that came out wrong. Tell me that's not what you meant to say," I finally said, trying hard to keep my voice steady while inching away from him. "Because right now what you're saying is that you expect me to trust you to do what's right for me, that we're no longer a team and that you go out of your way to protect me from the big bad wolf."

He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling noisily. "I'm trying to tell you it's not all about you," he said. I couldn't believe it. He should be trying to get himself out of a ditch, instead, he was digging himself in deeper.

I jumped up, wincing as my weight hit my foot. I hobbled away from the couch before Ranger could grab me. "I see what you're doing," I said, "You're trying to make me feel guilty for leaving, or maybe sorry for your men." I shook my head violently. "It's not working. You messed up and you betrayed my trust. It's you who's in disregard. You're in complete disregard of my need to stay informed. Do you have any idea how it feels to be told by a stranger what I should have learned from you?" I glared my best Burg glare and put my fists on my hips. "So I'm gonna ask you one more time: What are you working on with the feds?"

Ranger got up slowly. "You know what I'm working on," He said. I nodded, "Now I do, yes. No thanks to you. Why didn't _you_ tell me?"

"I never tell you about my work. You never know about my jobs, unless you're part of them." He was wearing his blank face and I knew he was lying, or at least hiding something.

"Beeep! Wrong answer! I _was_ part of it, so cut the fucking shit, Ranger," I spat. "Sit your ass down and tell me from the start." I saw Ranger's eyes widen marginally at what I said and how I said it. I was pretty sure any of the Merry Men would have had a heart attack on the spot if they had heard me speak to Ranger this way. Hell, my heart was beating at such a pace, I wasn't sure I wouldn't drop dead momentarily. He was driving me crazy and I didn't know if I should slap him or shoot him. But my gun was in my purse on the couch, so probably he was safe.

Ranger didn't sit down; he just crossed his arms over his chest, his face still expressionless. My foot throbbed, but I didn't want to admit my weakness.

"RangeMan was hired as an outside contractor to gather evidence and provide surveillance of suspects and suspected hideouts," Ranger said flatly. "It's not a secret. We always run multiple jobs at the same time."

"If it wasn't a secret, then how come you didn't tell me about it? You don't think I would have wanted to know that you told the FBI everything I said?

Ranger did a palms-up. "Whoa. What exactly is it you think I told them?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. I narrowed my eyes at him. "What exactly _did_ you tell them?" I challenged.

He shook his head. "You're right, this isn't working. Let me see if I can follow your train of thought. You somehow see a conflict of interest here and you'd rather I called off all my men. And you think you'll be safer by yourself, right? And you probably think it's totally sane for you to hide out in a stranger's apartment and try to make it your own. How am I doing so far?"

I sucked in some air. We were glaring at each other like a pair of bulls ready for a fight. All that was missing was for one of us to snuffle or paw the ground. Okay, so _I_ was glaring, Ranger was just meeting my eyes. But there was definitely tension. I took a deep breath. It wasn't working. I had to set the record straight.

"My turn to follow _your_ train of thought! So what you're saying is that you know what's best for me and I should just take your word for it and not ask any questions and sit at home on my hands and you'll take care of everything for me and I don't have to know about any of it. You'll tell me what to think, and what to say, and how to act and I'll just sit right here until you tell me that I can move, just because you said so. How am _I _doing so far?" I spat at him.

Ranger shook his head again. "I had my reasons," He said. "Such as? When were you planning on sharing these reasons?" I prodded. His eyes never left mine. "I'll tell you later," he said and I scoffed. I threw up my hands.

I didn't know what I'd expected; I knew I had _hoped_ for some sort of an apology. Now I wondered where this would have gone if I hadn't insisted on learning the truth. I could have enjoyed a nice massage and who knew what else. Where was my sense of denial when I needed it? But since we'd gone this far…

"I chose Randy's apartment because I thought it would be the last place you'd look," I said, paying it forward.

"Why?" He simply asked. That was a good question. I didn't know the answer. Why had I been so gung-ho to hide from Ranger? Why was it so important that he didn't know where I was? Yes, I was mad at him because he hurt me, but hiding from him felt…childish somewhat. But I didn't want to repeat his stupid 'I had my reasons'.

"Because I needed some alone time," I replied lamely. "With Lula," Ranger added. "I trust _Lula_," I said pointedly and turned around, limping towards the kitchen to get some more coffee because it would buy me a minute or two.

I got another mug out of the cabinet since mine was still on the coffee table and Ranger stood between it and me right now. And suddenly I realized what I was doing. I'd been so shocked when Lula kicked the door in that I didn't think much about it until now. What was I doing in Randy's apartment without him there? I was treating his place like a hotel room. Christ, I had even invited Thomalla over even though Randy would most likely have returned by then and kicked me out. I shook my head. Ranger was right; it had been a stupid move. No wait, he'd called it insane.

It irritated me that he'd basically rendered me defenseless. Of course I didn't think I was safer alone. But I had made extra sure that no one knew I'd snuck out of my apartment and that no one was following me. Mental head slap. Okay, so I didn't know what I was doing. That didn't give Ranger the right to call me insane.

I was just formulating a good response to his high-and-mighty accusations when Lula barreled in. She was huffing and carrying two shopping bags filled to the point of bursting. She looked at me as if she was going to say something, then she turned on instinct and saw Ranger, still standing in the middle of the living room.

"Uh-oh," she said and dropped the bags. I thought that was a fair assessment of the situation. Ranger nodded almost imperceptibly, "Lula." As if they ran into each other at the mall or something, total coincidence. Lula looked from him to me and back at him again, and she was the first to find her voice. "Did you call him?" She asked me.

I shook my head no. "Then how'd you find us?" She asked Ranger. I thought he'd do the almost-smile thing and say something witty, instead he just looked at Lula with his blank face.

"Right," Lula said and I could hear she was getting flustered, "I should get going anyways. Ranger will take you home, right?" And she turned back to me.

I could feel Ranger waiting for my answer. "No need to inconvenience Ranger," I said and saw Lula's eyes widen, "If you don't mind, you can take me home now. I'll just straighten up and leave a note for Randy." I felt Ranger's eyes on me but didn't look at him; instead I busied myself with cleaning the coffee maker. Then I grabbed a piece of paper from the fridge and scrabbled a note on it before I put it back under its magnet.

Maybe if I just ignored him, Ranger would leave? Lula cleared her throat and I could hear the bags rustling. My back was to them, but I didn't have to look to know Lula was nervously glancing from me to Ranger. "No, I don't mind," Lula said needlessly. Still no word from Ranger. I ran out of things to occupy myself with in the kitchen, so I finally turned to face him.

He hadn't moved, he was standing with his feet shoulder width apart and his arms crossed over his chest. And he was watching me, silently reminding me that I still owed him an answer.

Lula took the coffee mugs from the table and picked up my bag. She put the mugs in the sink and handed me my purse. I slung it over my shoulder and was ready to go.

Ranger cut his eyes to Lula. "You can go now," he said in a perfectly calm voice. I thought Lula would protest or ask me what I thought, but she was gone so fast, she left skid marks on the carpet. I just waited for her to be out of earshot before I stemmed my hands on my hips and glared at Ranger.

"Who do you think you are?" I asked him, my voice anything but calm.

"We have unfinished business," He said and did the almost-shrug, "As soon as we're done, I'll take you wherever you like, but right now, we need to finish this."

It could have been the arrogant way he said it, or maybe I was just overall fed up. Either way, I gave him my favorite Italian hand sign and said, "Finish this!" before I turned around and hobbled towards the door.

I got as far as yanking the door open before I heard Ranger move behind me. As curious as I was what he was doing, I managed to keep my eyes ahead and was about to turn to close the door behind me when Ranger reached me. My mouth opened, I suppose it was to say something witty, but whatever I'd planned on saying was forgotten as I got a glimpse of Ranger lowering his head. Then I felt his hands around my legs and I was airborne, Ranger used my moment of confusion to adjust me properly over his shoulder and pull Randy's front door shut.

I gasped and then struggled to fill my lungs with air to scream. Ranger marched down the hallway as if it was the most normal thing in the world for him to walk down an apartment building's hallway with a woman in a fireman's carry. I was beyond humiliated; I was livid, and my face was probably bright red.

"Let me down," I screamed, drumming my fists on his back and wriggling my hips. I felt Ranger chuckle under me. "You keep moving like that, we're gonna take a time out in the broom closet," He said and I could hear the full-on smile on his face. Oh, he thought he was so smart. True, he had an iron grip on my legs, but my arms were free. My fists left his back and I proceeded to slap his ass.

A door opened and an old lady stuck her head out. "What's all this…" She started, probably took one look at Ranger and thought better of it. By the time she came into my field of vision, I only saw the hem of her housedress as she slammed the door shut. Now I tried my fists on his ass, I'd be scratching next, I promised myself.

"I mean it, Babe, stop trying to turn me on!" Ranger said, amusement in his voice. The fact that I was comic relief for him made me absolutely furious. We reached the stairwell and I was momentarily fighting nausea when Ranger started going downstairs.

"Let me down. Now!" I screamed again, unable to stop tears of frustration that were stinging my eyes. Maybe it was sort of funny in the beginning, now it was just barbaric. Two can play this game, I thought and came up with an evil plan of my own just as Ranger walked down the second staircase. He wanted to play caveman? I could do schoolyard, I thought as I took hold of his utility belt and pulled it away from the small of his back.

Okay, so the plan was to give him a true old-fashioned wedgie, and I was quite excited that I managed to pull his cargos back far enough. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten about the going commando thing. I was staring right down Ranger's ass and his tight muscles that bulged with every step.

I went rigid when I felt one of his hands tighten around my thighs and the other one creep up to slap my ass. "No peeking," He said and laughed. He was laughing? That did it. I wriggled around trying to free myself, but he only tightened his grip and skipped a step to keep his balance.

By the time he reached the front door, he was shaking with laughter and I was trying hard to keep my head up so I wouldn't pass out from the blood rush to my head.

Ranger finally put me down at his SUV and I noticed with some satisfaction that there were some beads of sweat on his forehead. He held on to my right upper arm as he beeped the car unlocked and opened the passenger side for me. With a last grasp for dignity, I dug my heels in and tried to stand my ground, but he nudged me into the car without much effort. He must have jogged around the car because he opened his door less than 10 seconds later and started the car. 'Fine', I thought 'I'm not gonna be his amusement any more'. I pouted involuntarily and crossed my arms over my chest. I could feel Ranger cutting his eyes to me out of the corner of my eye. I was staring straight ahead as he reached around me and fastened my seatbelt before he put the car in gear. The bastard was still smiling!

The clock on the dash told me it was almost five. Plenty of time for me to take a nap and then get ready for dinner. I'd just tell Thomalla there was a change of plan, no biggie.

Ranger went into his zone and that was fine by me. I'd rather cut off my tongue than talk to him again. He had the physical power to humiliate me, but I didn't have to tolerate it. I'd give him the silent treatment and planned on leaving the car just as soon as we pulled into my parking lot.

Except we weren't going to my parking lot. And we weren't going to RangeMan either, I realized when Ranger took a right off Hamilton and got onto Route 206. Where did he think he was going? Oh forget the silent treatment, I decided. "Where the fuck are you going?" I asked, my voice cold.

Ranger's eyes never left the road. He was settled back, one hand on the gearshift, the other relaxed on the steering wheel, a smug half-smile on his lips. I had half a mind to scratch his eyes out, anything to wipe the smile off his face. I couldn't remember ever being so mad at him. It was as if his caveman antics were the last straw. He never answered me.

Of course if I scratched his eyes out, he'd get us into an accident. And I didn't really want to hurt him anyway. I wanted to scream and stomp my foot and flail my arms, I wanted to throw a genuine Italian tantrum to show him his boundaries. I sighed when I imagined his reaction to that, probably I'd make him laugh out loud.

I stayed quiet when he got onto I-95, by now my curiosity was almost stronger than my anger. And eventually I got to thinking. Running away, again, had been a knee-jerk reaction that I could only justify by how hurt I was by Ranger's betrayal. Then again, I'd found out about his betrayal by betraying his trust and asking Thomalla. I wished I could blame Lula for playing along, but it wasn't her fault, I had played the friendship card. But why Randy's place? That didn't make any sense, and I couldn't remember why I'd picked it. To go where Ranger would never find me? Why? I was hurt by his actions, yes, but was my desire to deny everything so strong that I would just as soon never see him again?

I shook my head slightly in disbelief. Lula had been so right this morning. What I needed was a strong drink and some time to think it all over. Not hiding, just alone. I closed my eyes and leaned back. I didn't care where Ranger was driving us anymore. He'd been right about one thing, it wasn't over yet. We still needed to talk, we both needed to lay our cards open on the table, so to say.

My phone rang in the depths of my pocketbook. Thankful for the distraction, I dug it out and answered it, proud that my voice was even.

It was Lula. "Girlfriend," she greeted me, "how are you holding up? Tank insisted on coming with me so Ranger would have the car, you're not mad at me for leaving, are you?"

"No," I replied honestly, "And I hope Tank wasn't either. Mad at you that is?"

"Nah," Lula said, "It's all good. He's been given the rest of the day off even. Where are you?" I sighed. Probably Ranger was listening to the whole conversation. "Ranger's car," I said, biting back any further comment. Lula must have sensed something because all she said was "Oh."

"Yeah," I agreed. "I'll call you later, kay?" I said and disconnected. I cut my eyes to Ranger, he was still flying us down the highway, eyes straight ahead, body relaxed.

A half hour later, Ranger took the Atlantic City Expressway exit and I tried very hard not to squirm in my seat. We were going to the shore? Not back to Point Pleasant, that would have been another exit, but where? Atlantic City? Why in the world would we be going to the shore? I knew Ranger was just waiting for me to ask him again, so I didn't.

Sure enough, we ended up on Columbus Avenue and Ranger took a left onto Atlantic Avenue. While Atlantic City is at its liveliest in the summer, it never sleeps like the rest of Jersey's shore towns. Gambling is a sport for all seasons, after all.

I'd had enough. "What are we doing here?" I asked a little testy.

"I'm hungry," Ranger said on an almost-shrug, as if he usually had dinner 80 miles from home. He turned into a restaurant's small parking lot and killed the engine. He finally looked at me. "Neutral ground," he said as if that explained everything, "and I know you must be hungry." He took a suit jacket from the back seat and shrugged into it before he left the car. I could see the restaurant's name through the windshield, but I was sure I'd never eaten at Lefty's before. The name kind of reminded me of Shorty's.

The interior of the restaurant was nothing like Shorty's, it felt more like we'd stepped back in time into the 1940's Manhattan. And it was very classy. As in, I was totally underdressed classy. Ranger and the Maitre D' did one of those complicated handshakes and talked Spanish. About half of the tables decked in white linen were occupied, and I immediately got 'the look' from the women. Probably they didn't often see jeans and t-shirts here. And I knew what Ranger was doing, too. Neutral ground, my ass. He'd brought me here, to a public place, where I couldn't make a scene unless I wanted to make a total ass out of myself. And I had walked in with him, fooled by the name.

We were shown to a table and I tried hard to ignore the women's stares. Actually, I wasn't sure if they were staring at me or at Ranger, but I kept my eyes on the ground just to be sure. When we sat down, the maitre d' handed Ranger the wine menu, said something apparently funny and clapped him on the shoulder before he left.

As soon as we were alone, Ranger put the menu down and looked at me. "Now we finish our business," He said. I scoffed. "If you think this," I gestured at our surroundings, "is intimidating me, you're wrong. It might embarrass you more if I make a scene here, and that might make it even more worth it," I said with fake sweetness in my voice.

"I come here for the best crab cakes in Jersey," Ranger replied, "And the owner is a friend of mine. Yes, I did think we needed a little time-out, but more importantly, I needed you out of Trenton."

I raised my eyebrows. "And you're gonna tell my why this time or is this one of those secrets only you and the feds can know?" Ranger exhaled audibly, then he put his elbows on the table in front of him and steepled his fingers. "I was brought in because the feds don't trust the local police department," He started and I almost gasped. Was he actually going to tell me _everything_?

"They think there's a rat in the department, with ties to the mob, but they don't know who. So yes, I'd heard about the allegations regarding Morelli." The waiter came to our table at that moment and Ranger stopped to order our drinks. At least I thought that's what he was doing, it was all in Spanish. He waived the menus off and had some more words with the waiter, gesturing and talking rapidly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I picked up where he'd left off. His eyes met mine and there was no blank face this time. He looked stressed, tired, and incredibly handsome.

"Whether you believe it or not, I meant to protect you. For about a month now, I've been working to find out the rat's identity, because I do not believe it was Morelli." I was listening to what Ranger was saying but I also studied him. He was wearing black cargo pants and a charcoal gray jacket over a skin-tight black t-shirt. Not appropriate attire for this restaurant at all, probably they only let us in because Ranger knew everybody, and yet he didn't look nearly as out of place as I did. Ranger the Cuban chameleon.

"Who _do _you think it is?" I asked, although I had a feeling Ranger didn't know. He shrugged, "There are a few suspects, but nothing that would point to one person," He said and leaned back while the waiter set the wine glasses on the table and filled his with a little wine to taste. When Ranger approved, the waiter filled our glasses with red wine and left the bottle on the table when he disappeared. I don't know much about wine, I only know if I like it or not. This wine, I liked, and I downed my glass in two gulps. I knew that wasn't proper etiquette, but screaming wouldn't be either, and something had to give.

Ranger refilled my glass without comment and took a sip from his before he continued. "I always thought this was too close to home for you. Even more so when Morelli was shot. It was never a secret, Stephanie, it was for your own good." He said and drank more wine.

I could already feel the alcohol spreading comfortable warmth in my empty stomach. Ranger trying to protect me made a lot more sense then Ranger betraying me, I reasoned, although the alcohol may have helped with that decision.

"Then this morning," I said, "why didn't you tell me this earlier today? You made it worse by just leaving." I emptied my second glass of wine when the waiter brought some huge plates that smelled delicious.

"You told me to leave," Ranger simply said and started piling crab cakes onto his plate. I sighed. "I asked you to leave after you wouldn't talk," I pointed out. He finished his first crab cake and looked back up at me. "Yes, and after I left I realized since you already know the worst parts, you might as well know it all."

"Please tell me by 'worst parts' you mean the presents left in my car," I pleaded. Ranger nodded. I took a few spoonfuls of shrimp and ate some, mulling over what Ranger had said.

"I still don't get it," I finally said, "You could have told me you were working with the FBI on solving the case. And you should have known I'd learn about the sick presents sooner or later," I was gesturing with my fork and drank some more wine for support, "Instead you chose to…hurt me."

"Babe," He said and put his fork down. He reached out and took my free hand, squeezing it. "I never meant to hurt you. I thought it could all work itself out, you would never have to know. I didn't count on Thomalla sharing everything with you. If I'd told you half of the truth, it would be as good as a lie."

I wasn't following his logic, but to some extend, I thought I knew what he was trying to say. "So you chose to keep it all to yourself and thought you were doing me a favor," I added up what he'd said and refilled my glass. Ranger grimaced. "More or less," he said and finished his crab cakes.

"Didn't work, did it?"

We both thought about that as we finished our dinner and the first bottle of wine. The waiter brought a new bottle without being asked and Ranger refilled our glasses. The food was good, but the wine was excellent. I was working on a good wine buzz by the time dessert was served. Well, dessert for me, Ranger had some sort of espresso. I took one bite out of the chocolate cake and moaned, not caring that the stares were back. I thought I saw Ranger's eyes dilate black for a second, but when I looked closer, they looked normal.

"So we're good?" He asked, finishing the second bottle of wine, which he had drunk almost entirely by himself. I resisted the urge to lick the cake plate clean and nodded reluctantly. "Are you sure you've told me everything? You didn't forget anything?"

"I haven't told you the details yet," he admitted, "but if you want me to, I will. The evidence Thomalla told you about might be extremely important."

Shit! Thomalla. I'd forgotten all about him. I fished my cell phone out of my bag and closed one eye to be able to read my address book. But what would I tell him? That instead of searching for the evidence and prepping for a possible court appearance I was getting drunk at a fancy restaurant in Atlantic City? Oh, speaking of court appearance…"Do you know anything about a subpoena for me?" I asked Ranger. Unless he really had ESP he couldn't possible know where that'd come from, but he did the almost smile and nodded. I closed my phone. "And you told the cops at my car this morning everything they needed to know and what case it ties in with?" he nodded again. "And when Teddy attacked in Point Pleasant, you took care of all the statements then too?" Another nod. It was slowly coming together for me. I didn't know if I should appreciate Ranger's type of protection or be outraged by it. True, he had shielded me from bad news and nuisance. But did I want that? I leaned back and studied Ranger while he signed for the check. All sources of light, like the candle on the table, had a halo around them. I liked that. Even Ranger, apparently sitting in front of some light, had a halo. It was somehow fitting, and somehow not. I looked around and noticed the room looked a lot softer now. When it began to spin, I knew why. I was drunk.

I barely noticed the pain in my foot when Ranger helped me up and led me outside. Still, I clung to his arm as if I was in pain because I needed a little extra help walking straight. It had gotten dark and nightlife was starting around us. When we got to his car, he hesitated.

"What?" I asked, my arm still entwined with his. I was leaning on him while swaying slightly. Ranger was looking at the SUV, thinking.

"I don't think driving is such a good idea right now," He finally said. I snorted. "Is Batman drunk?" I should have drunk heavily before tonight. All was well again and I loved Ranger. My mind operates on the simplest terms when I'm drunk. The surroundings added to the surrealistic feeling, I felt like I had escaped into a whole new world where none of my problems mattered.

"Maybe we should walk it off," Ranger suggested. "Maybe not," I replied and lifted my injured foot. That caused me to completely lose my balance, and if Ranger hadn't caught me, I would have ended up on the sidewalk, like a beetle on its back.

Ranger held on to me after he'd righted me. "I have a better idea," I said, my head against his chest. "Can you get us a cab? We have a hotel room we can stay at."

"Okay," Ranger said, and I could have sworn he was slurring his words just like I was. "But what about your date with Miguelito?"

TBC

A/N: Exactly how inebriated do you think Ranger is? Enough to, I dunno, do something he wouldn't do sober?


	29. Chapter 29

Many thanks for all your reviews, they mean the world to me and speed up the writing process…except this week, when RL interferes. Please r&r, I appreciate all feedback and suggestions.

This chapter would not have happened without Stayce because I needed some help, so I chose to ask the best…Thanks Babe!

Disclaimer: Sadly, the characters aren't mine, and I don't make a dime off of them

Rating: R for smut…

Warning: Here there be smut

Living on a Prayer 

Chapter 29

We were standing close together in front of the restaurant and Ranger's face was in my hair. And for some reason that was the nicest feeling in the world. I don't know how he did it, but he must have hailed a cab, because he pulled away from me gently and nudged me into the back seat.

"Taj Mahal," I told the driver. Even in my drunken state I knew it was only a few blocks, but I knew cab drivers in Atlantic City had probably seen it all, a drunk girl with a bad foot probably didn't even register. Whatever the reason, the driver didn't say a word as he took off. Since I was sitting down, there was no reason for me to be leaning on Ranger anymore, and yet I didn't want to let go of him. He didn't seem to mind, his arm was around my waist and he was holding me close.

Ranger must have tipped very well because the driver got out of the cab to open the door for me when we arrived at the hotel, and he was smiling. The bright lights of the Taj Mahal seemed a lot friendlier than a few weeks ago, I realized. The multi-colored searchlights were especially pretty.

"Let's go dancing," I suggested and squeezed Ranger's arm. He smiled and looked down at my foot. Oh, right. "Maybe next time," Ranger said still smiling and offered me his arm. I could hardly feel any pain, but I made sure I leaned on him heavily, since I didn't want to embarrass myself by trying and failing to walk straight…or at all.

We crossed the lobby and Ranger led me over to the reception. In my state, I was going to go up to the room directly…duh! I noticed the women who turned their head to follow Ranger; one ran into a pedestal ashtray. And for some reason, their stares made me pinch his ass. I'd never pinched his ass before, and I would have never done it sober. I hadn't expected it to be so hard, he really had buns of steel. He stopped abruptly.

"Did you just pinch my ass?" He asked. "Yup," I replied, "Had to mark you before them skanks got the idea you were available." I noticed the eyebrow he raised, but at that moment, I couldn't figure out why. I'd only told him the truth after all.

"The key to room 50110, please," Ranger said to the front desk clerk, and I was impressed. I'd been trying to remember the room number ever since we'd gotten out of the cab.

The clerk looked us over, "Who is it for?" I put my elbows on the cool marble and smiled. "Friends of Harry's," I said with a wink. And just like the first time, it worked again. I was mightily impressed with myself.

"Did you see that?" I asked Ranger when we were making our way to the elevators, "I have connecjins! I _know_ people!" Ranger chuckled and held on to me tighter. "Yeah, you do, Babe."

He pressed the call button and while we waited for the car, I put my head on his shoulder and examined the diamond stud in his left ear. I touched the stone and when I ran circles around it with my index finger, I felt Ranger suck in some air.

"They're so purdy," I said, "I don't have any diamonds at all. Or are these cubic zirconians? They look very real. I never noticed how purdy the are…"

Ranger didn't reply but I could see the smile spreading over his face. For some reason I was amusing him again. I pulled my head away to frown at him. "Don't you know your line?" I asked, poking my finger into his chest.

"My line?" Ranger just asked. I sighed. "Isaid your earrings are priddy, now you're s'pposed to tell me they're not as priddy as I am!" I rolled my eyes, but regretted it immediately because it made me feel dizzy.

"Of course," Ranger chuckled, "How negligent of me." He cupped my face in his hand and pulled me close, kissing my nose. "No earrings could ever be as beautiful as you are, Babe." I smiled contently at that and let my head fall back against his shoulder.

When we got on the elevator, I let go of Ranger's arm until he'd pressed the 50 button. I got a vision of that 80's movie where they had sex on the elevator and my face started burning. Then of course the Aerosmith song started playing in my head and that didn't make things easier.

Ranger was still smiling when he pulled me towards him and I nestled my face against his neck. And just like that, it didn't feel awkward anymore.

"Ranger?"

"Mmmh?"

"I like you a lot better when you're not all controlling and secret-keeping and macho," I said, not moving my head, "You look cuter when you're all open with me, too. Like, before, you were not my favorite person at all. I liked Miguelito a lot more 'n you." I couldn't see his face, but he had started to run his hand up and down my back, and it felt nice. "I'm sorry to hear that," he said softly.

"'s okay," I continued, "you were nicer later and we were talking for a change. I liked that. But just so you know, I'm still mad at you." I ran my finger over the outline of his muscles on his t-shirt.

"Can I ask you a favor?"

"You know you can, Babe."

"Can I…" I was interrupted by the soft 'ping' that announced we had reached the 50th floor.

The outside of the casino, the lobby, even the elevator had been totally fine. It wasn't until I stepped out into the hallway that the memories came back. What was I thinking? I couldn't go back to the room where Teddy had attacked me!

"It's okay, Babe," Ranger whispered softly into my ear, molding his front to my back as he slipped an arm around me. "I'm with you this time, you're safe."

"You and that ESPN," I scoffed and Ranger laughed out loud. But his presence _did _help, I wasn't alone this time. And Teddy was locked up 80 miles away, I could do this! Especially with those four glasses of courage I'd had earlier.

We walked to the room like that, Ranger almost carrying me as my feet barely touched the floor. When I hesitated in front of the room, Ranger took the key card out of my hand and pulled me inside with him.

"Aren'tchoo gonna do your Batman stuff and make sure it's safe?" I pretended to draw a gun out of a shoulder holster and pointed it every which way, showing him just what I meant. Ranger chuckled again and drew me closer. "Batman doesn't use guns. And anyway, I think we're safe for the moment," he said, "at least from bad guys." And then he kissed me. We stood in the foyer area of the suite and he kissed me, just like that. And I was drunk. I'm a happy drunk, but unfortunately, I'm usually not awake long enough for anything more than a giggle and a hug.

But even in my altered state, Ranger's kiss woke all those feelings I'd almost forgotten. I pressed myself against him and opened my mouth willingly when his tongue sought entrance. One of his hands cupped my butt while the other kept busy sneaking under my shirt. I moaned into his mouth when I felt his warm fingers on my skin.

I ran my fingers through his hair, loosening the pony tail. My hands then did some wandering on their own and I could feel Ranger growl, his whole body vibrated with it and I could feel it straight down to my doodah.

When he broke the kiss, his breathing was ragged, open-mouthed and shallow. He ran his fingers down the side of my neck, his thumb in the hollow at the bottom of my throat. Slowly, he brought his mouth down to that tender spot where my neck met my shoulder and I shivered involuntarily.

My eyes drifted shut and I gave myself over to the sensations, accelerated by the alcohol and the excitement of the day. Ranger's tongue ran small, hypnotizing circles over my neck and when he sucked the skin into his mouth, I gasped and my knees almost gave out.

At first I mistook the knocking for the beating of my heart. But when Ranger pulled away, cursing and breathing heavily, I realized it had been at the door. Ranger led me over to the couch where I let myself fall back until I lay spread-eagled, waiting for his return.

I heard Ranger pull his gun and craned my neck to look over the back of the couch to see what was going on. It took me several days afterwards to realize I'd never been scared at that point. Ranger was there, nothing bad could possibly happen.

Ranger opened the door to a hotel waiter and I giggled when I remembered how I'd done the exact same thing. I'd been all vigilant with the hotel personnel and then I'd opened the door for Teddy without checking.

Ranger waved the man inside, he did his usual spiel of the 'standard welcome order for suite 50110' and disappeared. With some effort, I managed to get up off the couch. There was food, and champagne and I wanted both. Possibly with Ranger for dessert. My mouth watered at the sheer thought of it. I was way too drunk to reign my thoughts in.

Ranger was still looking at the spread, shaking his head slightly when I pushed him aside gently and grabbed a couple finger sandwiches. He took the champagne bottle and poured two glasses. I raised my eyebrows. "Diluting the temple some more?" I teased.

"More 'n you can imagine," he said and handed me my glass. I should have realized that more drinking was a bad idea. I never know my limits.

Ranger took a strawberry and brought it to my mouth, his eyes on my lips. I took a bite and he finished it off, then we both took a sip of champagne. It reminded me of 'Pretty Woman' and I smiled at the thought. "Don't you appreciate this whole seduction scene?" I asked Ranger, almost giggling.

He looked at me confused. "Babe?"

I should have known he hadn't seen the movie. I shrugged, emptied my glass and refilled it, then I sauntered over to the bedroom, taking off my shoes and socks as I went.

By the time I reached the king-sized bed, I was in my underwear and didn't really know how it happened. I heard Ranger walk into the bathroom somewhere behind me, but the room was spinning too much for me to turn around. I put my glass on the nightstand, took off my bra and panties and slipped under the million-thread count sheets.

My glass seemed too far away to reach, so I waited for Ranger to come out of the bathroom. It took a while until I heard the bathroom door open. He killed the lights and I could only see him in shadow.

"I can't reach my drink," I said and Ranger chuckled again. "That's a good thing, Babe, trust me. You'll be grateful in the morning."

I felt a cold draft of air as he lifted the covers and the bed dipped when he sat down on it. "Hey, no hogging the covers," I scolded, "I'm getting cold here."

"I'll take care of that," Ranger whispered, suddenly very close to my ear, and I could feel his arm snake around my waist. "You're naked," he said a second later, "good thinking."

I was naked? How'd that happen? I couldn't remember taking my clothes off, but now that I thought about it, it made perfect sense to be naked in bed in a luxury suite. I turned to my side and snuggled into Ranger. "You're not," I said and tugged at his shirt.

"Not a good idea, Babe," he said, taking my hand in his, "this shirt is pretty much the only thing standing between you and my fast-disappearing restraint."

I frowned and looked up at him, we were almost face-to-face. "What are the other things, I'll take care of them, too."

The bedroom was dimly lit by the moonlight that shone through the floor-to-ceiling windows, but I could clearly see the smile on Ranger's face. He had his head on his arm and brushed a strand of hair out of my face with his free hand, with the other, he ran his thumb over my hand.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but let's not do anything we might regret in the morning," he whispered. This got through to my drunken brain. He was rejecting me again. I gasped and tried to pull away, but by that time, the look on my face must have given away my thoughts, because Ranger tightened his grip on my hand.

He may have mumbled "Fuck regret", I wasn't sure. He said something before he maneuvered us so that I was pinned under him.

"Let me go," I pressed out through clenched teeth as I struggled against him. I was very quickly sobering up.

"Not a chance," He said brushing his lips back and forth against mine. His tongue traced the seam of my lips, begging for entrance, and I parted them unconsciously. With a sigh, I slipped my arms around his neck and held on tight as I returned the kiss. I was glad Ranger hadn't let me run away and escape to the bathroom.

Our tongues danced with each other, exploring, searching, stroking, and I felt the heat spread through my body. When Ranger was sure I wasn't going to bolt, he rolled halfway off of me, balancing himself on his right arm, and let his hand wander over my body. It left hot trails as it traveled from my neck, brushing my breast, down over my naked belly.

He bent down and let his mouth follow his hand and I arched into him. I may have been panting at this point, maybe we both were, I couldn't really trust my senses anymore. Impatient for skin on skin contact, I pulled Ranger's shirt free and he lifted his head up long enough for me to pull it off him completely.

He repeated his caresses coming back up until his face was inches from mine, and a smile lit up his whole face. I skimmed my hands over his chest and pushed them upwards, reveling at the feeling of his hard muscles under my palms. Ranger closed his eyes and kissed me again. This time, there was nothing slow and timid about the kiss. His tongue was plundering my mouth. My hips started moving of their own accord, rocking against him, and my fingers were digging into his back. Fireworks exploded behind my eyelids when he started caressing my breast, gently at first, then more firmly, and I couldn't stifle a moan as I threw my head back and arched my breast into his hands.

"Ranger," I gasped breathlessly, but I was rendered speechless when he pinched my nipple and let his mouth wander from my jaw, over my collarbone to my breast. When he started sucking on my already pebbled nipple, I fisted my hands into his hair and he growled low in his throat.

His hand slid from my breast down over my belly, and I thought I was going to explode when he drew circles around my belly button.

He shifted his weight and pushed his knee between my legs before he let his hand trail down further, never releasing my nipple. I lifted my hips up and felt his erection against my core. I moaned in frustration when I realized a layer of fabric still stood between me and heaven.

I felt Ranger chuckle against my flesh when I tried to loosen his belt. He caught my hand in his and bent it up over my head. He stilled, just looking down at me, studying me. His eyes were black pools of passion and I knew that they only mirrored mine.

"I want you," I said breathlessly, "I need you inside me."

"I know," he said and his smile got wider. For a scary moment, I thought he was going to leave it at that, but then he released my hand to push himself up and open his belt.

I heard his pants fall and moaned in anticipation. Instead of lying back down, he stood at the foot of the bed and pulled me down by my ankles. Moonlight danced across his flawless body and the vision was breathtaking.

"I love you," I whispered, not really meant for him to hear, more of a thinking out loud thing, but I knew he heard me. He lifted one of my legs and kissed it from the tip of my toe, over the instep, up to my ankle, along the calf, to the back of my knee, stopping every now and then to let his tongue linger, to nip or suck on the most sensitive spots. I thrashed my head from side to side, unable to hold back any longer, needing release. Instinctively, my hand slid between my legs, but Ranger caught it again, leaning down.

"No, me," he said hoarsely and replaced my hand with his mouth. I cried out as his tongue circled my clit and his hands kneading my buttocks were bringing me closer to the edge.

I lost all sense of time and place when I felt the orgasm build inside me. Ranger's hands wandered, igniting my flesh, moving to the rhythm set by his tongue. I might have cried out when I came, it felt like a tidal wave crashing on top of me, like all the colors of the rainbow exploding right in front of me, like…heaven. Heavenly release. Strong hands were riding the wave out with me, his hot lips traveling upwards, dipping into my belly button.

I was still trying to catch my breath when his mouth caught my lips again and when I tasted myself on him, I was instantly ready for more. I could feel his rock-hard cock at my entrance and I tried to lift my hips to meet it.

With a moan, he finally thrust into me, and this time I was sure I cried out. Not in pain, but in surprise and pleasure. He stilled to give my body time to adjust to his enormous size, waiting for me to make the first move. I grabbed him and pulled his head down to me, meeting his lips. At the same time I bucked my hips and he groaned in my mouth. I could feel his tension, he was trying to pace himself, but I couldn't wait any longer.

Ranger put a hand on my hipbone to hold me in place, as he slowly pulled back, only to thrust into me again a moment later. He lifted his head, breaking the kiss, and when I opened my eyes a slit, I found him watching me with every thrust, studying my reaction to his movements.

I couldn't remember ever feeling sexier, ever feeling so… alive.

I could feel his control slip as he quickened his pace and I could feel the waves inside me starting to build, I was holding nothing back. Ranger was still watching me, but I couldn't keep my eyes open, I moaned his name as my walls clenched tight around him and my hips bucked.

A final thrust, and with a growl, Ranger spilled himself deep inside me. He collapsed onto me for a moment. Our ragged breaths came in sync and I could hear my heartbeat beating double time. And I realized that I couldn't just hear, I could _feel_ his heart beat as well. It only took him a second to push himself up on his elbows and break the skin contact, but I made sure he wouldn't get away. I snaked my legs around his hips and wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him close to me. Very slowly, I was coming down from my high and I dared to open my eyes again.

Ranger was smiling again, meeting my gaze before he planted butterfly kisses all over my face, ran his tongue over the shell of my ear and down my neck.

This was what he feared we might regret? Not if I died tomorrow, I thought. I had just scaled heights I didn't even know existed and if this was my last moment on Earth, I'd die a happy woman.

Ranger rolled off of me and I mewed in disappointment when I felt him slipping out of me. He settled beside me and pulled me close, nestling his face at my neck. "Sleep Babe," he murmured, "Get some rest before we do this over again." I could feel his smile against my skin and snuggled against him. "How about I wake you when you've had a chance to recover," I quipped and Ranger's arm tightened around my waist. It was pretty much hot air, since I was pleasantly numb, ready for sleep. I inhaled his scent deeply and sighed contently.

I woke up alone in the bed, spread-eagle on my back, the sheets tangled around my limbs. My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth and it hurt to even open my eyes, let alone move my head.

I groaned as my gaze fell on the glass of flat champagne on the bedside table. Why hadn't I brought the bottle of water? The day had once again started without me; the alarm clock read 8:30.

And where was Ranger? I listened into the suite, but I couldn't hear the shower or the TV, no outside sounds either.

"Ranger?" I called out, but it sounded more like a witch's croak than my own voice.

"Mmmh?" He responded from somewhere in the living room. I cleared my throat. "Where are you?"

He poked his head over the couch's back. "Right here, Babe. What's up?"

I looked around me, taking in the rumpled sheets, my underwear on the floor, a trail of my clothes all the way to the living room. "Did I kick you out?"

Ranger stood up, he was completely dressed. I frowned. "I kicked you out, didn't I? I hogged the covers, right?"

He grabbed the bottle of water off the serving table and brought it over to me. "This conversation may run a little smoother if I knew what you were talking about," he said and handed me the bottle, "You sound like you need this."

I took it gratefully and drank half of it with a few big gulps. Ranger sat down next to me on the bed. I took in is completely clothed appearance and had a shocking thought. Why would I choose the night we actually made love to kick him out when I'd always woken up on top of him before?

"Did you sleep naked?" he asked with an eyebrow quirked.

"Where did you sleep last night?" I asked, ignoring his question, as I screwed the bottle shut again. I was pretty sure I knew the answer, but I had to hear it from him.

Ranger motioned over to the couch, "You were fast asleep and all over the bed when I got out of the shower, so I took the couch. Why?"

Heat crept into my face as the memories of what I thought of as reality came back to me.

"You mean you didn't….and we…" I gestured feebly at the bed around me. Ranger looked at me puzzled. Now my face was burning. "_OH MY GOD_!" I wailed, covered my face with my hands and sunk back into the pillows. Please God, no!

I felt Ranger's warm hands on my forearms as he gently pulled them away. "Care to let me in on this? I still don't know what you're talking about…"

It had been a dream! I had dream-sex with Ranger and it was the best sex I'd ever had. There was no way I could look at him again and _not_ think about it. There was embarrassed, and then there was mortified. I was definitely the latter. I closed my eyes and prayed for the ground to open up and swallow me whole.

"Are you okay?" Ranger asked, and his concerned voice just reminded me more about the Ranger in my dream. He had been so gentle, and yet sexy as hell. No, I was not okay. And the problem was not that I'd had dream sex. The problem was that I'd had dream sex with Ranger and wasn't shocked. If I had to name the feeling, I'd have to say I was disappointed it had been a dream.

"I'm gonna take a shower," I finally said and scooted off the bed, holding on to the sheet to cover me. "Need company?" Ranger teased and for a split-second, I was tempted to say yes and _make_ the dream reality. Although he was fully dressed, all I could see when I looked at him was how he'd looked naked in the moonlight. But what if reality Ranger wasn't as willing as dream-Ranger, what if he'd stick to the 'let's not do anything we'll regret'-routine?

I hurried into the bathroom and closed the door behind me, hoping the distance would help me think of something else but naked Ranger.

My foot was better than the day before, but that little sprint had hurt a lot, since I'd forgotten all about the injury.

This was where it had happened. This was where Teddy had overwhelmed me, knocked me out and kidnapped me. Still, panic was a welcomed change from fatal embarrassment. Ranger was in the room next door, I couldn't deny that. But I could deny ever having wet dreams about him if I concentrated on my fear of Teddy. So I chose pain and panic over romantic feelings for Ranger. My mental state was going to hell in a hand basket, and fast.

I took a long, soothing shower, toweled off and moisturized for a lot longer than necessary, just to avoid facing Ranger for as long as possible. I didn't even know why it would embarrass me so much when he didn't even know what happened. Or what had only happened in my head, rather.

Right, I decided, it was silly to make such a fuss out of a dream. I ignored the gnawing feeling that I was a lot more disappointed than embarrassed, squared my shoulders, and walked back into the bedroom wrapped in the hotel's fluffy robe.

Ranger had his back to me. He was standing at the window, looking out over the ocean. He turned when he heard me approach.

"Feeling better?" he asked. I nodded and started picking up my clothes off the floor. "I ordered some breakfast, I figured you'd be hungry…" I nodded again but still couldn't look at him.

"Be right back," I murmured and went back to the bathroom to get dressed. Predictably, Ranger was waiting for me two steps from the bathroom door, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Something you'd like to tell me?" he asked, blocking my way. Shit. 'We had sex in my dream last night and it was so good it's all I can think about' wouldn't make for a good conversation starter I decided.

"It's this room," I said, throwing my arm out for emphasis, "a lot of memories…" There, I congratulated myself, not even a fib.

Ranger nodded and pulled me towards him. "I know," he said, "It wouldn't have been my first choice." He was right, I remembered now. I had been so happy I'd remembered this suite, supposedly still at my disposal. God only knew what we would have done if the room had been occupied. And Ranger couldn't know that I'd been too drunk to care about Teddy.

Ranger wrapped his arms around me and I didn't even think to resist until my head lay against his chest. Damn, he felt good. His usual scent mixed with the smell of the hotel soap and I was snuggling closer instinctively. Again I wondered what would happen if I took it further, but I didn't have the alcoholic courage from the night before anymore. When I tilted my head up, Ranger was watching me, and I got the feeling he knew there was something I wasn't telling him.

My cell phone rang at that moment. I pulled back quickly and stepped out of his reach to find my phone.

It was Thomalla and I quickly ignored the call and turned the phone off when I realized I'd totally forgotten about him the night before. Then it hit me! The trial! Shit!

"I'm supposed to be a witness for the prosecution for Teddy's trial today," I said. Ranger nodded, "Pre-trial hearing, actually, but not until noon. We have plenty of time."

I narrowed my eyes at him, "So you knew this whole time and didn't tell me? I thought I was pretty clear about the consequences of being kept in the dark last night."

Ranger's face grew serious. "I'm sorry. We didn't get that far at dinner. And afterwards…well," He didn't have to go into more detail, I remembered all too well what had happened after dinner.

"You only got the subpoena yesterday, and yes, I signed for it and promised I'd make sure you'd be there. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I had planned to have more time to explain over dinner." Ranger ran a hand though his hair. "You weren't home to accept it yourself. And actually, there's quite a lot more we need to discuss. If you're up for it."

I was trying to decide if I was going to accept his apology, he sounded sincere enough. And I knew he wouldn't lie to me, so I nodded slowly. I wasn't quite so sure if I wanted to hear the rest of what he wanted to discuss though. The more I knew, the harder it would be to stay in denial land.

"Okay, so what's with this hearing, why do I need to be there?"

A knock on the door interrupted us, again. I had a sudden near-panic attack. "Check who it is!" I almost screamed at Ranger and he sent me a curious look that seemed to say 'Duh.' Before he drew his gun and hid it behind the small of his back as he checked the peephole. I couldn't help it, this was all too much déjà vu for me. My greed for breakfast had been stronger than my vigilance when I'd stayed here alone.

My panic took a backseat though when I saw what Ranger had ordered. I believe I squealed when I saw the French fries and Coke, I could have hugged him. "Thank you!" I gushed while he was tipping and then dismissing the waiter. He joined me at the table with a grapefruit and coffee, and I just grimaced at _his_ breakfast.

The cure was exactly what I needed, and Ranger had remembered, again. I felt so much better afterwards. I didn't feel up to facing Teddy at the hearing, but I doubted I ever would be.

I still couldn't meet Ranger's eyes, but I was hoping he'd think that was because of my anxiety. He promised me he'd be in the court room with me if at all possible, and Thomalla had told me the same, so at least I wouldn't be alone. That's the thought I clung to as we left the hotel, took a cab back to the restaurant where Ranger's car was still parked, and took off for Trenton.

Ranger immediately went into his zone and I stared out the window. I tried to stay calm, but the closer we got to Trenton, the more I squirmed in my seat, clenching and unclenching my hands.

Ranger reached over and took my hand, lacing his fingers with mine. "You'll be fine, Babe," he said and squeezed my hand.

I wanted to believe him. But if Ranger was right, why was I was so sick to my stomach?

God, I hoped was right.

TBC

A/N: Sorry, no cliffhanger – again! Hope you're not too bored to read on. What would you like to see happening in the hearing? Will Ranger protect Steph from whatever will happen???


	30. Chapter 30

I never thought I'd write 30 chapters of this…and I'm still not done!

Thank you for all your wonderful reviews and suggestions, I hope you keep them coming…yes, I'm a review-slut, I admit it…

A special thanks to Stayce for her help and patience and for letting me steal names even though their RL counterparts are totally different. Thanks Babe!

Disclaimer: Nope, still not owning anything but Teddy.

Rating: PG13

Spoilers: None directly, up to TS implied

Living on a Prayer 

Chapter 30

Ranger took a downtown exit and pulled over at the end of the ramp. He put the car in park and turned to me, taking both of my hands in his.

"You okay?" He asked. I focused on our hands because I still couldn't meet his eyes. "If I say 'no', will you take me away to a tropical island instead of the court house?"

He smiled and freed one of his hands to run his fingers over my jaw line. "I won't let anything happen to you, Babe. I need you to believe that."

I nodded, but then I sighed. "I _really_ want to believe you. I'm just nervous, I guess," I said.

"It's okay," Ranger soothed, "nothing wrong with being scared. I got your back." He was stroking my cheek with his thumb and all I could concentrate on were the sparks of electricity his touch triggered. Damn it, I had to get a grip on my newly-awakened hormones, even though I suspected they were just the denial du jour, the convenient thing to worry about.

"You promise?" I asked softly, even though Ranger's word was every bit as good as a promise. He nodded and snaked his hand around the back of my neck to pull me closer until our foreheads touched.

"He cannot hurt you. Not now, not ever again," Ranger said, suddenly serious. I bit my lip. I knew he was right, but a nagging voice inside that sounded a lot like fear told me he couldn't know for sure, he was just guessing. "I got your back," Ranger repeated and shook me lightly to get my attention.

My eyes filled with tears and I was afraid a full-blown nervous breakdown would be next. Basically, it looked like after the nicest dream the night before, my worst nightmare would become reality: I would finally lose my grip on sanity.

I took a couple deep breaths to keep my heart rate under control, but some tears spilled over and ran down my cheeks. Ranger swore, clicked first his and then my seatbelt open, reached over and with one smooth movement lifted me up and onto his lap. He put his arms around me and his head on my shoulder.

I don't know what it was about this position, completely enveloped by him I felt absolutely safe. Like, I would feel safe if he held me like that during World War III. I couldn't explain it, there was something about his body heat seeping into me that made me feel stronger.

It worked again this time.

"Listen to me," Ranger said. He pulled his head back until he could look into my eyes and cupped my face in one of his hands. "Chances are, yes, Gardner is gonna be at the hearing. But he cannot touch you. He cannot hurt you. Don't even look at him, look straight ahead at the judge or look at the DA. I will never be more than a few steps away from you, I'll protect you." He ran his thumb over my cheek bone and made sure I was really listening.

"Why do I even need to be there?" I asked and my voice sounded pretty whine-y to my own ears. Thomalla had said I was the prosecution's only witness, and I didn't like the thought of it at all.

Ranger blew out a breath. "They're trying to determine if they have a strong enough case to send him to trial," he explained, "His lawyer filed a motion to dismiss the case altogether so-"

"He what?" I yelled and tried to pull out of Ranger's grasp, but he held on to me, anchoring me.

"So it's real important the prosecution makes a strong case," Ranger finished. He ran his hands down my neck to my shoulders. "I believe you can do it, just don't hold anything back. Tell the truth."

I've encountered my share of sickos, especially since I became a bounty hunter, but this would be the first time I had to face them again in a court room. And, okay, Teddy was the first one who'd collected my bodily fluids, so he definitely ranked first on the gross-list. The bottom line was I really didn't want to see him alive ever again. But I didn't want his case dismissed either, obviously. I wanted him to fry on the electric chair, but probably the chances were slim for that to happen. Alternatively, I wanted him to rot in jail for the rest of his life, and it sounded like that wouldn't happen without my input either. So I figured my escape to the Caribbean would have to wait.

I took a deep breath and tried a smile. "I'll try. I'm not as sure as you are that I can do it though. How come you're not a witness, huh? You were there!"

"Because he's up for the kidnapping and assault on _you_. I wasn't there for that, remember?"

"_You _were the one who found me!" I argued. I had a real problem with being the only witness now. Ranger shook his head slightly, squeezing my shoulders, "I'll be there, Babe. You will _not_ be alone."

Our eyes held for a moment longer, as if Ranger was waiting for another argument from me. When I didn't say anything, he kissed my nose and nodded.

I sighed and scooted back to my own seat. Ranger put the car in gear again and drove us to my place. We took the stairs up to my apartment and he did his usual walk-through before he waved me in. I couldn't wait for this to be over. I wanted my apartment to be mine again.

It was almost 10:30, but since I'd already taken a shower, I just needed to pick the right clothes and do my hair and make-up. I chose a navy blue skirt suit and a white blouse, since I figured it couldn't hurt to look respectable, even though I didn't feel like it. I even put on panty hose and put on my matching blue pumps before I stalked back to the bathroom. My foot was already protesting, but I was determined to suck it up.

I doubled up on the mascara and put my hair into curlers while I finished my make-up, then I applied a third coat for courage.

I took the curlers out and did my hair. The end result impressed even me, I looked like a secretary. Or maybe a school teacher. Respectable but bland, if I had to sum it up, just the look I was aiming for.

I fed Rex and checked my answering machine. It was thankfully sicko-message free, only my mom had called a couple times.

Ranger was waiting for me in the living room. He stood up when I entered and gave me the once-over, then he almost-smiled.

"What?"

"I take it, this is your witness outfit?" he asked.

"Something wrong with that?" I challenged him. Ranger did a palms-up and didn't try to hide his smirk. "Just checking."

I immediately hobbled back into the bedroom to check myself in the full-size mirror at the door.

Witness Stephanie looked a lot like E.E. Martin Stephanie, with less make-up. Since I'd always had to look sophisticated as a lingerie buyer, I figured I looked okay now. And sweating over what to wear was a great way to deny why I was wearing it. I sighed and told myself to pull myself together already, that there was nothing to fear but fear itself and all that crap. But I didn't leave the bedroom until Ranger knocked on the door gently and told me it was time to leave.

I checked on Rex and promised him I'd return with more permanent housing soon. He apparently hadn't forgiven me yet, as he never even moved in his soup can, not even for the grapes I'd dropped into his food dish. Oh well, I'd have to fix this one later.

We took the elevator down because of my foot and got into Ranger's car without a word. But the closer we got to the court house, the more I felt my control slipping. My palms got sweaty and my heart rate sped up with every block.

I was close to a panic attack when Ranger pulled into the parking lot.

He parked right next to two black SUVs, and four Merry Men got out of them when Ranger killed the engine. I smiled at him warily, "Strength in numbers?"

"You bet," he said, "You ready?" He took his gun out of his holster and pushed it under his seat, then he removed two knives from his ankles and shoved them away as well. I just put my purse down and decided to leave it in the car for now so I wouldn't have to worry about weapons.

I really doubted I'd ever be ready, so I settled for "As ready as I'll ever be." Ranger took my hand and squeezed it. "You're readier than you realize," He assured me and let my hand go to get out of the car.

Tank, Junior, Bobby and Cal had taken their spots around Ranger's car. My own body guards. I didn't know if Ranger thought there was a danger I'd get hurt, I just appreciated the buffer zone between me and the real world.

I may have thought I was as ready as I'd get, but my body wasn't sharing the feeling. After a couple minutes, Ranger came around my side of the car and opened the door for me. He held out his hand and I finally took it. If I refused, he would probably carry me in.

Probably there hadn't been much publicity for this hearing, not like a real trial, so there were no gawkers or reporters outside. The Trenton court house was the other half of the building that housed the Trenton PD. And as many times as I'd been here, I'd never entered the blocky red-brick building from this side. Probably it was a good thing, because the cop shop held way too many memories, and in my state, I would choose reminiscing about the past over facing the present. The hearing was held here, the trial itself would be at the big one on East State. And according to Ranger, it was my job to get us there. Oh joy.

Ranger was leading me up the front stairs by the elbow, two Merry Men on each side shielded me from…well, everything. Inside it was all beige marble floors and white walls with paintings depicting important-looking people on them. Footsteps echoed because of the high ceilings and overall, the place seemed to have been decorated with the goal of intimidating people and making them feel uncomfortable. And that's definitely how I felt.

Ranger walked us straight to a group of men in expensive suits who were standing near the entrance. The tallest of them turned when he heard us approach.

He looked at Ranger, who must have given him some sort of signal, and then he extended his hand.

"Miss Plum?" he asked, "I'm Tobias Jeter, the assistant DA on this case. It's nice to meet you." He took my hand and shook it and I smiled mechanically. Now I noticed Thomalla separating himself from the group as well and coming over to us.

He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. "Thank God you're okay," he said, "I was so worried about you." He pulled me away from Ranger and his men and I reluctantly followed when Thomalla explained that they had to go through the screening first, metal detectors and such. I knew they had left their weapons in their cars, so I hoped this would be quick. I trusted Thomalla, but he couldn't replace Ranger. Thomalla bent his head so that his mouth was close to my ear. "This is _not_ about Morelli," he whispered, "IA is still dealing with that, so don't worry. No dirty laundry here today." Actually, I hadn't thought about that part of the trial until he mentioned it, but I was still relieved. And I felt guilty I hadn't spent any time searching for the damned CD that could be nothing or the missing piece of evidence.

Jeter nodded at the guards and motioned us past security, apparently I looked safe without my pocketbook. We went down a hallway into a small conference room to brief me, only Thomalla was allowed inside.

I turned to make sure Ranger saw where I was going, and he nodded his acknowledgment. When had I turned into a frightened little mouse that didn't dare move without Ranger's attention? Probably right around the time my mind wouldn't let me deny I was mere steps away from Teddy, was my guess.

Jeter looked to be in his mid-thirties. He was wearing a grey suit that almost matched his eye color, his blond hair was cut short. He wasn't unattractive, but something about him bugged me. The ring on his finger told me not all women thought so.

Thomalla sat down next to me, Jeter took the chair across the table. He took a number of files and his pen out of his briefcase and put them on the table, then he looked up to make eye contact and laid it all out for me.

"Gardner is charged with kidnapping, assault and battery and resisting arrest," he held up a hand when he saw I was about to protest, "That's what you have to focus on. The lawyers put their heads together and decided they wanted to launch separate suits, and I tend to agree. But you need to make sure you only focus on what happened to you, what led up to it, and how you got away. You think you can do that?"

I wasn't sure I could do that. Joe's murder, the threatening phone calls and him kidnapping me tied right into the attacks in Point Pleasant and the showdown at Val's house. As usual, my emotions were displayed on my face, so I didn't have to answer the question.

Jeter sighed and looked at Thomalla before he continued, "I know it's hard for you, Stephanie, you know and loved all the ones who got hurt." He reached out and covered my hand with his. I resisted the urge to pull it away, but just barely.

"He killed Joe," I said, my voice a little shaky, "Isn't anybody gonna accuse him of that?"

Thomalla inhaled audibly, but Jeter cut him off, too. "There's not enough evidence to make a case at this point," he stated.

I closed my eyes to count to ten, hoping it would calm me down. It didn't work. I took a deep breath and looked Jeter in the eye.

"I believe you have received a copy of the message he left on my answering machine. Yesterday, he left…" my voice broke at this point and Thomalla put his arm around me.

"Shhh, Steph, it's okay," he soothed, "I'm sure Toby was just about to explain how he is still building the case for that, isn't that right, Toby?" he was talking to me like one would talk to a hysteric five-year-old, but I still appreciated the effort.

Jeter ran a hand through his hair and returned his attention to the files on the table. "One case at a time," he said, not looking up, "I want to make sure he stays behind bars. Once I know he's not going anywhere, I can focus on the evidence, see where it leads me," he looked up again, "There's too much hearsay at the moment, Stephanie, no judge in the country would let it go to trial. That's why your testimony is so critical. There are no witnesses that would put him at the scene of the murder, but _you_ can put him at the scene of assault and battery."

But no pressure, right? Jeez, I thought, Jeter should retake the course on witness preparation. I was more nervous now than when I'd arrived.

He went on to explain that there was going to be him and another assistant DA, and Teddy and his lawyer, and the judge. No jury. Thomalla would assume the role of a bailiff, he'd requested it specifically, and I was grateful his request had been approved.

Usually, the public wasn't allowed to the hearings, but the judge was going to allow RangeMan to provide my security detail, since Jeter had stressed how 'weak and fragile' I still felt. Hey, if that little fib meant Ranger could stay in the room, I wasn't going to argue with it.

I was also told I'd have to wait outside until I was called in. That worked for me, because it meant less time in the same room as Teddy. Jeter asked if I had any questions, but I didn't have any about this hearing. He'd be hearing from me afterwards so he wouldn't forget working on the _other_ case, the murder. How he figured my kidnapping was more important was beyond me.

"You're ready?" Jeter finally asked. How about no? Or better yet, hell no! "Uh-huh," I nodded slowly and hoped it was good enough. But Jeter had already moved on, scribbling notes and earmarking files, before he ushered us out the door.

Ranger was waiting for me right outside the conference room. Tank and Junior stood across the hall, wearing their 'don't mess with me' faces. I was sure Bobby and Cal had taken a similar stance not far off.

I took a deep breath and straightened my shoulders. "Here we go," I said because I couldn't come up with anything appropriate. Ranger's upper lip curled into a smile and he tucked a stray curl behind my ear. "You'll be fine," he assured me again and led me over to a wooden bench outside the court room.

"Tank is staying with you, I'll be inside," he said and put a finger over my mouth when I started to protest. "The hearing isn't open to the public, and unless I'm there from the start, I won't get in. So Tank is going to keep you company out here, Bobby and I will have your back inside, okay?"

What he said made sense, but that didn't mean I liked it. A voice inside me piped up and told me to grow up already, so I nodded bravely. "Okay," I confirmed. Ranger brushed his lips over mine and squeezed my shoulder before he nudged me onto the bench. Tank appeared behind Ranger, ready to take over.

I was way to nervous to sit still, and a couple minutes after Thomalla, Jeter, Ranger and Bobby had gone inside, I jumped up and started pacing. It hurt, and I winced with every step, but it was still better than sitting. "Are they inside?" I asked Tank and motioned towards the court room. Tank lifted an eyebrow in a silent question. "The judge, the lawyer, Teddy. Are they already inside or will they walk past us?" I wasn't sure I could stay calm if Teddy walked by a few feet away. Tank had sat down on the bench, his long legs crossed at the ankles, his arms over his chest.

"They're probably in by now, they took another way though," he said to answer my question. I was relieved but didn't stop pacing. I wondered about that 'other way' and if the Trenton cop shop had a bunch of secret passage ways and such. Maybe it was full of catacombs.

By the time my name was called, I was so lost in my denial thoughts that I jumped a foot. Cal came from out of nowhere to stand at my side, and Tank got up to stand at the other.

"Good luck," Tank whispered, "Go get 'em," was Cal's advice. I swallowed and stalked into the court room through the door that Thomalla was holding open for me.

I tried to follow Ranger's advice and looked straight ahead. But the room wasn't big enough to avoid looking at anyone. We weren't in a big court room with pews for spectators and a partition for the jury. This room 2B was just big enough for a couple rows of chairs for visitors to the left and right of the center aisle, a desk on each side in the front for the counselors, and a huge desk for the judge facing the room. Next to the judge was a chair, probably for the witness. The court reporter, a mousy-looking woman in a grey suit, sat next to that at a small table that held her machine. The walls were paneled in dark wood about halfway up, the rest was painted white. The desks were mahogany and added to the dark vibe I got from the room. All in all, I doubted more than 20 people could fit into the room comfortably.

I focused my eyes on Thomalla's back until he turned and showed me to the seat next to the judge's desk. I spotted Jeter out of the corner of my eye on the left desk, so Teddy would be sitting at the right desk, right in front of me. Thomalla positioned himself between me and Teddy and I smiled at him gratefully.

The sign on the desk told me Judge Leuck was presiding, I hadn't met him before. He looked to be in his late fifties, with grey hair and a chubby body that the black robe covered like a tent. He glanced at me when I sat down.

I wanted to find Ranger, or Bobby, I knew they were there but I didn't know on which side and I didn't dare look up. I'd felt Teddy's presence as soon as I'd entered the room and I was hanging on to my composed exterior by a thin thread.

"State your name and address for the record," Thomalla said and I flinched at the sound of his voice.

"Stepha..." I croaked. I cleared my throat and tried again. This time I made it through my name and address before my voice gave out again. Thomalla rushed to the DA's desk and filled a glass of water for me. I kept my eyes down.

I took a sip of water and held on to the glass since there was nowhere for me to put it. Thomalla picked up a bible and held it right in front of me

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?" He asked and I confirmed that I did. I'd never been a witness before, but I'd seen my share of movies, I figured I knew the motions.

Jeter got up and stood in the same place Thomalla stood before, between me and the defense's desk. I knew this wasn't coincidence, but I wondered if they'd thought of it themselves or if Ranger had given them the tip.

"Miss Plum," Jeter began, "In your own words, can you recall for us the events of November 17, the day you stayed in a room at the Taj Mahal in Atlantic City?"

I chewed on my lower lip for a moment. It wasn't that I didn't recall what had happened, I was wondering how to say it, when to start. I didn't even know it was November 17 until Jeter had told me earlier.

I took another sip of my water, "I opened the door because someone had knocked, and as soon as the door was open, T…Mr. Gardner forced his way in." I didn't have to make up anything to show what a nutcase Teddy was, I realized.

Jeter stepped aside. "Is the individual you call Mr. Gardner present in this room and can you point at him for the record?"

I forced my eyes up and looked straight into Teddy's. My blood ran cold before I realized what was different about him. He had two black eyes, his nose was swollen and bruised, and his lip was split. He was wearing a smart suit that did nothing to make him look like a decent human being in my opinion. I swallowed hard and lifted my hand to point at him. I couldn't speak, the simple gesture was all I could handle. In here, I couldn't rely on adrenaline to drive me, like at Val's house. In here, I was alone with my panic.

"Let the record show that Miss Plum pointed at the defendant," Jeter narrated for the court reporter and stepped back between Teddy and me. I let out the breath I didn't realize I'd been holding.

"Then what happened?" Jeter asked and I locked eyes with him as I told my story. I might have added a couple things that I didn't recall saying, like 'Go away' or 'Leave', but I knew I'd at least been thinking them. "…then he pushed the door open so hard that it hit me in the head and I passed out," I finished the first part and took another sip of my water.

"Objection!" a male voice shouted, obviously Teddy's lawyer. "The witness couldn't possibly see the defendant push the door if she was on the other side."

The judge just looked in his direction and raised his eyebrows for a second. "Overruled," he said without waiting for Jeter's response.

"So to sum up," Jeter said, "Would you say it is correct to say the defendant forced his way into your room, threatened you and eventually knocked you unconscious?"

"Objection!" Teddy's lawyer interrupted again. "Leading the witness!"

"I'm just summing up what the witness already stated on her own," Jeter argued and the judge overruled the objection again. I wanted to believe this was a good sign, that the judge already leaned our way, but I told myself not to get my hopes up.

"What is the next thing you remember, Miss Plum?" Jeter pulled me back into the present. I closed my eyes for a beat, trying to get my heart rate back to normal, but I couldn't help reliving it as I talked about it. That was the exact reason I _didn't_ talk about it!

The court reporter typed busily next to me as I told them how I'd woken up in the trunk of a car, no, I couldn't recall the make and model, and I hadn't recognized where I was taken, although I slipped in that I'd later learned it was Shiloh. I told the truth when I said I couldn't identify the second man, although I had a feeling he'd helped Teddy in Point Pleasant as well. The defense objected a couple times, but they were overruled just as often.

I described the house and the room I was kept in and I was able to keep my voice steady until I was asked to describe what happened in the house. I figured 'indescribable terror and humiliation' was not what Jeter wanted to hear.

My eyes darted across the room until I found Ranger and once we made eye contact, I was able to continue. By the time I'd recalled my escape, tears were flowing down my cheeks and my fingernails had left deep gashes in the palms of my hands. Finally Jeter told the judge he had no further questions and I let out the air in a big whoosh.

Judge Leuck asked the defense lawyer if he wanted to cross-exam me, but he declined. Probably he hadn't found enough to work with for his side, because there was nothing. The judge thanked me and I was excused.

I knew that meant I was allowed to get up and walk out of the room, but I was frozen in place.

Jeter had gone back to shuffle papers on his desk and Thomalla stood off to the side. I tried hard to avoid looking at Teddy, but I couldn't help it. That was the weakness he'd been waiting for, he immediately waggled his eyebrows and smiled creepily. His tongue darted out between his split lips and I gagged.

And that's when he sprang into action. Literally. Jeter was busy making notes, talking to his assistant. The judge was distracted somehow and Thomalla wasn't by my side. The uniform by the exit wasn't anywhere near me. Teddy couldn't have chosen a better moment if he tried. In a split-second, he lunged over the desk and threw himself at me.

I didn't have time to even panic, I screamed in anticipation of the impact, my eyes wide open in shock.

But before he reached me, he jerked to the side, his eyes widened a little, and then he crumbled to the floor. Behind him stood Thomalla, with the smoking gun. Or in this case, a sizzling stun gun.

I caught a glimpse of Ranger, going for his gun instinctively. Since he wasn't carrying, he jumped over the chairs in his way to get to me.

Bobby was already hunched over Teddy's unconscious body cuffing him with a knee pressed into the small of Teddy's back. After a long minute, the judge came out of his stupor enough to order the counselors to his desk.

Ranger put an arm around me and led me outside, Thomalla made sure he stood between me and Teddy again. I was shaking so hard, I couldn't walk straight, and my vision was blurred from the tears that had once again started to flow. I didn't even realize Ranger all but carried me outside; I was convinced I was trying to walk. He walked us over to the bench outside and gently put me down. I took in the air in big gulps and slowly felt my heart rate return to sub-stroke level.

Ranger handed me a bottle of water and I emptied it in a few swigs. The Merry Men had formed a half-circle around the bench and were all regarding me with worried expressions.

"Let's get you out of here," Ranger suggested and reached for my hand, but I shook my head violently. "I'm going to stay until I find out what's gonna happen to him!" I argued, hating the way my voice shook. No way was I going home not knowing if Teddy would walk or stay in prison!

Ranger let out an exasperated breath and sat down next to me. He signaled Bobby and Cal, and they left. Tank resumed his bodyguard position at the opposite wall.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on breathing, telling myself it was over, I made it, I was safe, Ranger was next to me. Finally, I calmed down.

"So how much longer do you think it's gonna take?" I asked, gesturing at the closed door of room 2B.

Ranger moved one shoulder a fraction of an inch, his version of a shrug. "No way of knowing," he said and checked his watch, "They started at noon it's only 1:30 now. Could be a while." He tried to suppress the smile that crept over his lips and I pretended not to notice. I knew what he was thinking, I'd run out of patience before they were done.

True, the excitement of the morning had left my stomach in a tight knot and I was exhausted now that the adrenaline had worn off, but wild horses wouldn't be able to drag me away from here before I knew, one way or the other.

Ranger and I sat next to each other on the bench, our legs stretched in front of us, arms crossed over the chest. To some people, it may be the ideal thinking position. I however felt like jumping up after a few minutes and I only stayed in my seat so I wouldn't prove Ranger right.

I tried the thinking thing for a bit, but all I could think about was Teddy. Teddy and Morelli. Teddy killing Morelli. Teddy cuffing me, touching me.

I shook my head to clear it and noticed both Ranger and Tank were watching me. Probably I had expressed my disgust out loud.

Finally, it seemed like hours to me but the clock only read 2:16, the door opened and Jeter emerged, followed by Thomalla. I jumped up. They were both wearing their unreadable cop faces.

"Well???" I shrieked when neither of them spoke. Jeter took me by the elbow and led me back to the small conference room.

"I need to talk to you."

TBC

A/N: Now Teddy is going to be locked up and they throw away the key, right? Right? Nothing else could possibly happen, right? What would you like to see happen?


	31. Chapter 31

Sorry this is so late, would not let me post until now, really, this one isn't my fault…

Thank you all so very much for your reviews and suggestions. If I didn't get to thank you in person, I appreciated them so very much.

A special thanks to Stayce for her help and patience, without her, there'd be no Prayer.

Becky, it is finally here…

Disclaimer: Nope, still not owning anything but Teddy.

Rating: PG13 because of language

Spoilers: None directly, up to TS implied

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 31

I craned my neck to look at Ranger. He had stood up but stayed behind. "I think Ranger should come, too," I told Jeter as I tried to dig my heels into the floor "He knows more about the case than I do." I wasn't even sure they wanted to talk about the case, but it seemed like a good argument.

Jeter stopped and looked at Thomalla. Thomalla shrugged, "I think Miss Plum will feel safer with Mr. Manoso close by," he explained and I sent him a grateful look. Let him make me sound like a little girl, I thought, as long as I don't have to be alone in a room with those two.

Jeter nodded and motioned for Ranger to follow us. I waited for Ranger to catch up with us until I let Jeter lead me into the conference room again. I didn't know if they had ever talked, but it was definitely time for Ranger to share what he had learned about Teddy. How Jeter could still think about 'building a case' to accuse Teddy of murder was beyond me, the evidence was clearly there.

Again, Jeter busied himself with taking out his files and arranging them on the table. I put my hand on the pile he was busy sorting. "Tell me. Now." I said. Not loud, but not friendly either. Jeter nodded and sat down opposite me and Ranger. Thomalla remained standing.

"So far, so good," Jeter began, "Gardner was denied bail, he was denied a relocation of the trial, but most importantly, the judged denied the motion to dismiss the trial. Jury selection will start in January"

I let out a long breath and Ranger squeezed my hand. Thank God. Granted, I think my testimony hurt Teddy's case as much as his actions in the courtroom did, but still, it felt like my victory.

"What happened to his face?" I asked. Jeter grinned and looked at Thomalla. Thomalla cleared his throat to cover a laugh. "It appears," he said after regaining composure, "Harry the Hammer had an inmate extend his welcome to Gardner." I could see Ranger grin out of the corner of my eye. Harry? Harry had ordered a hit? Not that I was against it, Teddy's wounds had looked painful, but I was afraid my tab was going to grow and grow. Still, it was impossible not to smile along with the men. "That must have hurt…" I said.

Jeter nodded. "It was apparently the reason for the motion to move Gardner to another prison and the trial to Newark. But the judge didn't see any reason to do either, said it could have happened anywhere…" again, he shared a smile with Thomalla.

I leaned back and allowed Jeter to continue shuffling his file folders.

"Now what?" I asked him because I got the feeling he was getting ready to dismiss me. He looked up at me and sighed.

"Phase one of my plan has been successfully completed, Gardner is staying where he is. I don't have to worry about him flying the coop and you don't have to worry about any more attacks."

Ranger cleared his throat next to me and I knew he wanted me to speak up. Fine, I decided, I'll do it.

"My car was attacked yesterday, a message left. This happened with him in prison." I was quite proud of how calm I sounded.

Jeter nodded, then looked at Thomalla again. "Yes, I heard. The feds assured me they'd be looking for Gardner's accomplices a little harder. It's not as important for this case as it is for the others," He said and picked up one of the file folders.

"I have three cases I'm trying to merge, Miss Plum." When I didn't respond he continued, "One, your kidnapping. I chose it for this hearing because I thought it would have the best chances of denying him bail. I was right. Two, murder one. He planned and executed the murder of a veteran officer." My stomach clenched at the way he mentioned Joe's death so casually, but I kept my mouth shut. I decided I really didn't like Jeter though.

"Three, assault with a deadly weapon, if I can pull it off even attempted murder, on RangeMan employees, breaking and entering and a couple minor charges, all happening in Point Pleasant."

"He had help for that last one, too," I pointed out. Why the hell wasn't he focusing on the guys working with Teddy? Was he really convinced Teddy was a lone gunman?

"I'm not really comfortable discussing this ongoing investigation," Thomalla threw in and sent me a sharp look. I remembered the missing evidence and wondered if that's why he was so up tight.

"Okay then," Jeter said, "We'll pick this discussion up when you have concluded your investigation. Let me know as soon as TPD are done and I will contact you, Miss Plum." He shuffled files around on the table some more before he picked one out.

"It is my understanding that you're also leading the murder investigation?" He looked at Thomalla who nodded. I was pretty sure it was just a pro forma question. Jeter looked at Ranger, "Then I would like to conduct a witness interrogation, with your permission of course."

Since when was Ranger a witness to the murder? I was 100 per cent sure Ranger would have shared that piece of information, so what was Jeter getting at? Thomalla just waved dismissively, clearly Jeter had blindsided him.

"I understand you listened to and copied Miss Plum's voicemail messages?" Jeter asked Ranger with a polite smile on his face.

Ranger nodded. Jeter read through something on a piece of paper. "I show here two messages from the victim, Detective Morelli, is that correct?"  
Again, Ranger nodded. I had all but forgotten about that, Ranger had only mentioned a second message during one of the meetings, way, way back. It seemed like a year ago somehow. Now I knew Ranger had been working with the FBI even then, that's how Jeter must have gotten the information. I was glad I had found out about all that beforehand, I didn't really want to cause a scene here.

Jeter leafed back and forth through some papers, then he looked at Ranger. "I'm missing the transcripts for all messages, not just the two," he picked up a pen, "Can you give me the gist of the messages? They might be essential for the case."

Ranger cut his eyes to me, then looked directly at Jeter. "I think it can wait until later. You probably want to wrap this case up first."

Jeter was almost squirming under Ranger's look. And I was debating whose side to take. Did I want to know what Joe had said in his second message? I remember almost passing out when hearing his first one.

Jeter lowered his eyes. "No, I don't think it can wait. Detective Thomalla would have to ask you to come to the station for a statement, and you're already here today. It's easier this way, too. If you like, I can have the court reporter transcribe everything. Unless you think you need your lawyer present for your statement?"

Was he playing Ranger? I wondered how well they knew each other, if at all. Ranger knew who Jeter was, they had greeted each other in the foyer, but did they _know_ each other?

Ranger's eyes narrowed a bit, I doubt Thomalla and Jeter noticed. "That won't be necessary," he said coolly.

Now Jeter's grin looked triumphant as picked up a pen, "Okay then," he said, "Do you recall the approximate timeline of the calls?"

"The first message was left on November 5, at around 1000. It was a personal message to Miss Plum," Ranger replied, his voice still void of all emotions. November 5 was a month ago. I had made it through the first month without Morelli. Jeter's voice brought me out of my reverie.

"Can you –" he started but Ranger cut him off, "When I say personal I mean nothing of value to the case." His look made it clear that he wouldn't discuss it further. Thank God.

The grin disappeared from Jeter's face and he cleared his throat, making some notes. "The second message?"

Ranger cut his eyes to me, and there was an emotion in them I couldn't identify. I held my breath when he continued.

"The second message was made from the victim's cell phone after he was shot, but it was not the victim calling," Ranger said. He hadn't broken the eye contact and I knew he read the question clearly in my eyes now.

Jeter looked up from his notes. "Can you elaborate on that?" he asked.

"The suspect made the call to Miss Plum's cell phone, detailing his actions and giving audible evidence of it," Ranger said and I sucked in some air when I had deciphered his legal-speak.

"You mean he…" I almost whispered, but Ranger begged me with a look to stay quiet.

"And by the suspect, you mean…" Jeter motioned for Ranger to go on and I closed my eyes for a second to remain calm.

"Gardner," Ranger replied. Jeter nodded and made more notes. "What was the message and the evidence?"

I focused on my hands as I felt tears sting my eyes. I was pretty sure I didn't want to hear what Ranger was going to say, but I didn't see a way out of it either. Ranger took my hand.

"He said 'It's taken care of Angel, nothing stands between us now, say goodbye to your past.'" He took a breath and squeezed my hand, but I still didn't look up, even though I could feel all eyes on me.

"There was some noise and then another male voice could be heard groaning," Ranger finished. I bit down hard on my lip to keep from crying out loud. I knew who that male voice was, we all did. I was pretty sure I cut off all circulation to Ranger's hand when I squeezed it, but he didn't pull it away.

I could see Jeter scribbling in my peripheral vision. "Could you identify the other voice?" He asked. Jesus! How much longer? When would I be allowed to leave? I suddenly felt way too warm and I was having trouble breathing, it felt like I was suffocating.

Ranger nodded, "Detective Morelli." I heard Thomalla suck in some air at that.

"How did you identify the suspect's voice?" Jeter asked. "At the time I heard the message, I recognized it from Miss Plum's answering machine tapes. When I met Gardner face to face in Point Pleasant I was able to identify his voice as the one on the message," Ranger explained.

"Was anything else said?" Jeter asked. I could hear his pen scrape over the paper and it made my ears hurt. I was about to explode.

"He said 'We'll be together soon' and hung up," Ranger responded. I tried to take a breath but it came out more like a sob and I covered my mouth immediately. "Sorry," I muttered.

Thomalla appeared at my side and put his hand on my shoulder, "That's enough," he said, "Why don't I take Stephanie home while you finish the interview? I will have Mister Manoso sign a transcript to verify later." He looked down at me and squeezed my shoulder lightly. "Let's go home."

Finally! I looked at Jeter, he nodded his approval, then I mouthed 'Call me' to Ranger and got up. Ranger reached into his pocket and handed me his key. "Your bag is still in my car." I'd forgotten all about that and would have gone home unable to get in. I sent him a weak smile and took the keys.

Thomalla took me by the elbow and led me to the door. I heard Jeter shuffle some papers and ask Ranger about the timeframe before Thomalla closed the door behind us.

I let out a whoosh of air and straightened my shoulders. It was over, the hearing and the interview. I felt like jumping up in the air or something.

"Steph?" I heard Eddie Gazarra's voice and turned around. "How'd it go? Are you okay?" he asked and gave me a quick hug.

I gave him a rundown of the hearing and told him about Jeter interviewing Ranger. "Do you need a ride home?" Eddie asked when I told him Ranger was still in the room.

"Thanks, Frank will drive me home," I said and hugged him good-bye. "I was the lookout," he said, "I had to get the scoop for all the men at the station." He winked at me and left.

Thomalla and I walked out of the building and over to Ranger's car, both lost in our own thoughts. I tried to think of a shoe sale at Macy's or the Coach counter, something to distract my mind from what Ranger had just shared. I now knew the reason he had kept the message to himself. And I was glad I hadn't made it that far through my messages that day. I got my bag out of the SUV and locked it. Thomalla stood by my side as if he thought I was going to faint at any minute. I appreciated the thought, but he was back to smothering me again.

"Do you want to stop somewhere?" Thomalla asked when we sat in his car and he started the engine. "Do you want me to drop you off at your parents, or do you want to grab lunch…"

I shook my head no, "Just home, please." He nodded and put the car in gear.

When we stopped at a red light he turned to me. "You okay?" I nodded. I was getting to okay, I just didn't want to talk about it. Thomalla left it at that since the light changed.

"I hate to bring this up again," he said a few blocks later. I sighed. "I know, the evidence. I'm sorry I haven't had the time to look for it yet, I really meant to."

"How about now?" He asked, "I could help you." Right, I thought. Pull yourself together, Stephanie, and get on with it. By now I was sure Thomalla thought I didn't care whether Morelli's name was cleared or not. "Sure," I agreed, "Now is fine."

"Want to get some grub first?" Thomalla asked when the golden arches came into view. I shrugged. "Sure," I said again as if it was the only word I could say anymore.

Armed with a couple paper bags of junk food, we parked at my apartment building and took the elevator upstairs. I couldn't wait to get my feet out of the shoes and my butt into a pair of sweatpants.

Since I didn't want to play damsel in distress anymore, I stepped out of the elevator first with my key in hand, telling myself there was nothing in my apartment that could scare me. But I still held my breath when I opened the door and didn't let it out until I saw the coast was clear and I could hear Rex getting his exercise on his wheel.

I motioned for Thomalla to go into the living room while I hobbled into the bedroom to change. Once I was dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt and thick cotton socks, I could enjoy my meal properly.

"Why don't we split up," Thomalla suggested when we were almost done eating and I was sucking up the last of my milkshake. "You take the bedroom and I take the living room, or vice versa, we just start looking for anything that could be it."

I thought about that for a moment, but since I was by now convinced the missing evidence was the CD Joe had given me, I suggested the vice versa. That way, my chances of finding it first were pretty good. For some reason, that was important to me. I tried to ignore the fact that my way also meant Thomalla was going to search through my clothes. Sacrifices had to be made, I reasoned.

Thomalla agreed and after we balled up our trash and took care of it, we 'split up'. I stood in my living room and turned around slowly, whispering "If I were a CD, where would I be?", but I didn't get a flash of inspiration.

I could hear Thomalla rummaging in my bedroom and I cringed. Since I couldn't for the life of me remember what I'd done with the CD, I started at the obvious place, the CD rack.

While I was searching, I tried to remember when Morelli had given me the CD, hoping it would give me a hint as to what I'd done with it. But I couldn't even remember how long ago it was, much less the how and where. I searched the bookcase next, taking out each book and leafing through it. I wasn't the world's best housekeeper, and nothing in my apartment really had its own place, except for Rex's cage maybe.

I drew a zero on the bookcase, so I was back to standing in my living room, hands on hips, looking around. My gaze fell onto my small DVD collection; I only had about five movies. I shrugged and crouched down in front the rack that held my TV and DVD player.

There were two disks in the second DVD case I looked in, incidentally my copy of Ghostbusters, my favourite movie of all time. I knew immediately I'd found the missing evidence, because there was no reason to stick an unmarked CD with the movie.

I was about to call Thomalla when I thought better of it and grabbed the laptop that was sitting on the floor next to the TV instead. Joe had told me to never listen to the CD on my laptop. The only reason he would have done that could be because there were files on the CD he didn't want me to see at the time, right? At least that was the only reason I could come up with, so I booted the laptop up and stuck in the CD.

I was so excited, my hands were shaking when I opened the CD folder. Sure enough, along with about ten song files, there were several text files and a few pictures. Without really thinking, I copied the entire CD to my hard drive before I opened the first file.

I checked out the pictures first. They were clearly surveillance photos, the kind that was taken with a telephoto lens. I had to squint to even recognize the first picture showed a couple of men. The second picture showed the image much larger and the first person I recognized was Thomalla. I didn't know the second man, it was a Hispanic looking man in an expensive suit, and he was handing Thomalla an envelope. I got an uneasy feeling in my stomach when I opened the third picture. There were more men in this one, but again I only recognized Thomalla. They'd been photographed on board a yacht, all sitting around a table on deck. The pictures all had date and time stamps but didn't really tell me anything so I continued with the text files.

There were some scanned images of bank transactions and Western Union receipts in the first file. No doubt this was part of the evidence, although I hadn't a clue how it would clear Morelli's name.

I accidentally opened a file that I thought was a music track, I had meant to open the text file next to it. What came out of the tiny speaker on my laptop wasn't music though, it was a conversation between two men. I turned up the volume to hear it better.

"This has to run smoothly," the first guy said, "if my name shows up anywhere, I'm done."

My Spidey-sense started tingling although I didn't know why. "No problem," the second guy said, "we have a fall guy picked out. Your name will stay clean."

"When?" Guy number one asked. "Depends on you. You call the shots on this one. Is your guy reliable?"

The first guy snorted and my heart stopped. I'd recognized the voice. "He's so obsessed, he'll do whatever I ask. No one will even think to look any further. I'll tell him when and where and he'll be more than happy to do what he thinks will bring him closer to his goal." I knew I was listening to Thomalla. When I heard movement from the bedroom I quickly closed the file. I hadn't figured out what exactly I'd heard, but from what I'd seen, Thomalla had been the focus of the investigation, and my gut told me he'd been suspected to be the rat in the department, not Morelli.

I looked up to find Thomalla leaning against the doorjamb. I would have given anything to be able to pull off a blank face, but I knew my efforts were useless. As soon as our eyes met, Thomalla's expression changed.

"So now you know," he said with a voice that made my blood run cold. All warmth was gone. I swallowed hard. Actually, I didn't know until he said I did. Up until then it had been a guess.

I caught up quickly though. Thomalla was the rat. Morelli had found out. Thomalla had hired Teddy. Teddy had killed Morelli. This CD was the only evidence left that could incriminate Thomalla.

Thomalla was still leaning against the doorjamb, seemingly casual. Of course he was effectively cutting off my way to the phone, my gun, anything that could be used as a weapon and any way out. He could relax, all right. Of course there was a slim chance he wasn't thinking in that direction at all, that he would swear me to secrecy and leave. I grimaced inwardly at just how improbable that option was though.

I popped out the CD and closed the laptop. "I think I found what you were looking for," I said, my voice almost normal, and held the CD out to him. Thomalla's upper lip curled up in a smile that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

"I think we both know the idea was for me to find it first," he said slowly and crossed his arms over his chest. He made no move to take the CD from me. Maybe he thought I could overpower him if he got too close?

Yeah, right Stephanie, I thought, keep telling yourself that. He'd probably been telling the truth when he said Morelli'd told him all about me, so he'd know exactly what I could and couldn't do. Keep him talking, I thought, buy time. Ranger would be done at the court house sooner or later, and then he'd check on me, right?

"Well, do you want it or not?" I asked, waving the CD for emphasis. "I do," he said, "but I was hoping I'd leave here with only the evidence. Now you'll have to come with."

I'd been afraid of that. I realized he'd either let me go now that he had the CD or had to eliminate me because I'd seen it. Damn. Shit. Why hadn't my Spidey-sense tingled before? I should have listened to my gut feeling at Val's, when I'd really disliked him.

I realized I'd walked right into his trap. And now I thought about how many times I'd been alone with him and shivered involuntarily. He'd slowly made me trust him. Mental head slap.

I was still sitting on the floor in front of the TV cabinet. But if he wanted me to come with him, he probably didn't want to kill me. If he wanted to kill me, he could do it right in my apartment, right? That had to be true.

"Where…" I croaked and had to clear my throat, "Where are we going?" I was trying to keep him talking, to buy some time.

Thomalla reached behind him and produced a gun. "Don't worry about that. We won't go far. Just do as I say and I won't have to use this." He pointed the gun at me. I was so fucked. If I screamed to get anyone's attention, he'd kill me right here. One look into his eyes and I knew nothing was beyond him now. His career, maybe even his life was at stake, probably he didn't care if murder was added to the list.

I chewed on my lip, wondering how to stall for time. "Why?" I asked, because it sounded better than 'What the fuck?!'

Thomalla sneered. "Why are we here? Why do we die?" He threw his free hand up theatrically, "Why indeed, Cupcake. You don't need to worry about any of that anymore. Now get up and bring the disk with you!"

I wanted to scratch his eyes out for calling me Cupcake. He had no right to use that name. But at the same time, I had a strong urge to survive, so I bit my tongue as I slowly got up. Thomalla snatched the CD out of my hand when I was within arm's reach, then he took a few steps back but kept the gun pointed at me when he motioned for me to keep going.

He took my jacket off the hook in the foyer and threw it at me. "Put it on," he instructed. As if I'd do anything else with it, I thought. I knew what he was doing. He didn't give a shit if I froze my ass off outside, he just wanted me to look normal. He picked up my purse and I was hoping he'd let me take it. My gun was in that purse. So was my stun gun, my pepper spray.

Instead though, he turned it upside down and let the contents tumble to the floor. He picked up my wallet, make-up bag, hair spray and other things men probably expect in a woman's purse and left all the weapons, the cuffs and my cell phone on the floor. He kicked my gun out of the way and threw the purse at me. "Put it over your shoulder, like you normally do," he said, shrugging into his own coat.

He put the gun in his pocket; I could see the barrel poking at the fabric. "I've shot people before," he said, "and it gets easier every time I do it. So don't think I will hesitate to silence you. Be a good girl and I'll be a good boy."

It took a lot for me not to roll my eyes and ask him what movie he stole that line from, but I managed. I figured it wasn't a good time to tease him.

Thomalla had me lock up and he made sure he stayed a couple steps behind me on the way to the elevator. "Don't try to trick me," he said when we rode down, "I'll know it and you'll pay for it. I've been doing this for a long time." I rolled my eyes this time, since my back was to him, but I bit back the comment. Apparently the gun had turned him into a John Wayne wannabe.

"My car or yours?" I asked when we left the lobby through the back door. I tried to give my voice a submissive tone so that he'd believe I'd given up. "You'll drive my car," Thomalla replied. He was still behind me and I knew he was still pointing the gun at me.

This wasn't the first time I was held at gun point. It wasn't even the first time I was kidnapped. But I couldn't remember feeling this stupid. I had trusted him because he had wanted me to trust him. I mentally thunked my head on the ground. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He remoted his car unlocked and followed me to the driver's side. When I was buckled in, he walked around the front of his Chrysler, never taking his eyes off me. He handed me the single key when he was seated, then he took the gun out of his pocket.

"You're gonna start the car and put it in drive, then you're gonna stay close enough to the speed limit so we won't get pulled over, but not slow enough to be suspicious. Got that?"

I nodded. Shit, this was serious. I didn't like the tone of his voice at all, it was cold and determined. For the first time since I'd found out, the first tendrils of panic started curling up in my stomach.

What if no one was going to check on me? What if Thomalla took me out of Trenton? He was a cop, I reminded myself, no one would suspect him. I tried to take calming breaths while I did as I was told. Panicking now wouldn't help me.

I had paid close attention to what Thomalla had put back in my pocketbook. There was a nail file in my cosmetic bag. And he also let me keep the hairspray. If I put my mind to it and had some time alone, I might McGyver myself out of the situation.

"Do you know how to get to 295?" Thomalla asked and interrupted my escape plans. I nodded. "Take 295 South," he said. I waited for more, but that was it. He sat facing forward, but his eyes cut from me to the road and back again all the time. My guess was he was also keeping an eye on my speed. He was right, he was good at this. The hand with the gun rested on his thigh, pointing at me. That way it couldn't be seen from the outside, but he wouldn't even have to move it to shoot me.

I took Hamilton to Franklin, hoping to see someone I knew. I figured I could maybe signal with the high beams or _something_. But I didn't even see a familiar car. I had to stifle a desperate sob when I got off Route 29 and onto 295. No one would notice us from now on.

I slapped myself mentally and told myself to stop thinking in that direction immediately. Just in time, too, I was about to drive myself crazy. 'Think Stephanie!' I ordered myself. There had to be something I could do. I just had to push all feelings, fears and memories about Joe to the background, I had to force myself to think straight.

"Relax," Thomalla interrupted the silence, "You're way too tense. Just cruise for 30 miles now."

"Where are we going?" I asked, I'm not sure why. I had both hands on the steering wheel in a white-knuckled grip and I had to force myself to take a breath and tell the panicky voice in my head to shut up. Yup, where we were going seemed like a good start.

I could see Thomalla smirk out of the corner of my eye. "It's a surprise. You're going back home, in a manner of speaking," he said and laughed at his own joke.

Now I was officially creeped out.

TBC

A/N: Your reviews suggested that you never trusted Thomalla, so this turn of events probably wasn't a surprise for you…but where do you think he'll take Steph and what is his plan for her??


	32. Chapter 32

This week FF is playing along, let's hope it lasts.

Thank you so very much for your encouraging reviews.

I would have given up a long time ago if it wasn't for Stayce, she's the heart and the brain behind this...thanks Babe.

Disclaimer: Only the psychos are mine, everything else is JE's

Rating: it's all tame

Spoilers: up to TS

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 32

When Thomalla directed me off Route 295 via Route 76 onto 55, I got an uneasy feeling. Well, okay, even uneasi_er_. My stomach was a twisted knot and I had to struggle to breathe. There were a lot of possibilities where we might be going, but I didn't like the general direction. We were getting further and further away from Trenton and from any possible help.

I shifted in my seat and something poked me. At first I thought it was my house key, but I realized I'd tossed that into my bag after locking up. That left Ranger's car key. I had put it in my pocket after I'd gotten my bag from his car at the courthouse. It was like a little talisman, and it would protect me, I decided. I bit my lip before a hysteric giggle could escape. I'd never believed in talismans before.

Thomalla kept the gun pointed at me, but he had relaxed a little after a few miles on the highway, probably he felt safe now. I realized he would have spotted anyone following us, and my heart sank.

I was so sick and tired of being kidnapped, attacked or otherwise overwhelmed physically, and I vowed that if I got through this, I'd sign up for every available self-defence class in Mercer County as soon as possible. I vowed this would never happen to me again, at least not without a good fight. But since I was already in this mess now, I thought it was as good a time as any to fight back.

I flinched when Thomalla started talking again. "You're awfully quiet there, Steph. Where's the loose lip you're so famous for?"

I didn't have to see his face to know he was smirking again. Ranger had a blank face, but Thomalla had a mask he was wearing most of the time, and it was all I'd ever seen. I wondered if Morelli had known the true face Thomalla was wearing now before he had found the evidence.

"Well?" Thomalla prodded. I took a deep breath. I had plenty to say, I just couldn't think of anything that wouldn't make him want to pull the trigger. I had a white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel so I wouldn't wring his neck.

"How do you know Teddy?" I finally asked. I'd been replaying the audio file over and over in my head, and I'd finally figured it out. Thomalla had hired Teddy. Whether he'd paid him or I'd been the payoff, I wasn't sure, but it didn't matter.

Thomalla snorted. "That psycho! He's too easy! He's really obsessed with you, you know?" I couldn't help grimacing. Like a fool, I'd thought Teddy was the only psycho I had to deal with. Teddy may be crazier, but Thomalla was definitely more dangerous. Teddy didn't have as much to lose. Teddy didn't have Thomalla's connections and experience. Which made me wonder…I just had to ask.

"You were the one helping him in Point Pleasant, weren't you?" I asked. RangeMan had been following a different guy, but he could have been a decoy.

"I think you shouldn't worry your pretty little head about that," Thomalla said. He was smart and he was being careful. That was a good sign, I decided, maybe he was planning on letting me live. I liked that idea a lot, so I didn't press the issue.

Thomalla snorted again, "What, no argument? I think Morelli should have pointed a gun at you more often. It sounded like you made his life hell!"

It felt like he was insulting Morelli when he just spoke his name. Or maybe it was what he was insinuating. Little white dots were dancing in front of my eyes and I had a hard time focusing on the road, I got so mad. I was fast approaching a point where I didn't care if I wrecked the car if it meant Thomalla would die.

I pictured Ranger mad. 'Now you've made me mad,' he'd say, but there was no outward indication he was angry. That's what I was striving for. I needed the anger to overcome my panic, but I couldn't let Thomalla see the change.

I was able to pretty much piece it together and it all added up to Thomalla. He was the reason Morelli was dead. Teddy had been his tool, but the blood was on Thomalla's hands just as much. In a way, Thomalla was a lot worse than Teddy, Teddy had never tried to hide the fact that he'd killed Joe. Thomalla was walking around pretending to be his _friend_.

By now, I figured, Ranger was long done with his interview. He would try to call me. Since there would be no answer, he'd check my place. And then what? He'd have no clue where I'd gone, but he'd know I didn't leave voluntarily when he saw my weapons on the floor. And then he'd alert the cavalry in the form of RangeMan. I hoped.

Would he get as far as my living room, would he think it odd that my laptop was still out? I doubted he'd go looking for the files I had copied, he'd have no way of knowing Thomalla was even involved.

"Take the next left," Thomalla instructed. Shit. The sign said 'Shiloh 5 Miles', and I suddenly knew where we were going. Back to Teddy's house. Home, as Thomalla had called it.

I shivered involuntarily, just thinking about the house made my pulse speed up, and I could feel Thomalla sneer.

"I need to use the bathroom," I said when I saw a gas station up ahead. Mostly I was hoping to buy some time, but maybe I'd be able to draw attention to me.

"We'll be there soon," Thomalla said and his tone made it clear that the discussion was over. I'd been unconscious and in the trunk of Teddy's car when I was brought to the house, so I didn't know how much further it was. There were only a few houses after the gas station, mostly middle-class, small houses on big lots. Cars were big and American. Jersey's backyard.

I'd never been there before because it was too far from the shore to be interesting. In fact, I'd never been to the entire area we'd been driving through, I'd only known it as the swamp.

I kept my eyes trained on the properties, hoping to spot someone, but it was the middle of the afternoon, folks were at work. Even if I saw someone, there was probably nothing I could do with Thomalla's gun still pointing at me. I just needed to focus on something else but my panic.

"Turn right," Thomalla instructed. We were moving further away from the highway and the space between houses got bigger. It looked like the kind of place where you didn't even really know your neighbors.

"The driveway on the right," Thomalla said and I thought the house looked familiar. The sound of gravel underneath the wheels seemed to trigger a memory, too. My pulse was at about 200 when he told me to turn off the engine.

No one had followed us here, there had been so few cars, I would have picked up on a tail. I was alone with yet another…well no, I realized, Thomalla wasn't a psycho. He wasn't crazy. He might have been greedy and power hungry, but I got the impression he calculated everything and planned his next moves carefully. Just my luck.

Thomalla held his free hand out for the car key when I had killed the engine, then he ordered me to unbuckle and slowly get out of the car. He did the same. "Leave your bag in the car," he instructed before closing his door. So much for my potential weaponry.

When he walked around the hood a moment later, I saw the gun poke through the fabric of his coat again. Even out here, with the closest neighbour about half a mile away, he was careful. Always the cop, always vigilant, I thought as I remembered how Morelli had been the same way.

"Don't get any ideas. You won't be able to fool me like you fooled the lovesick nutso. Just walk towards the door, nice and slowly." Under normal circumstances, I would have given him a proper Burg girl eye roll, but I was concentrating on keeping my cool exterior, I didn't even nod, I just made my feet walk towards the front door.

It was a two-story converted ranch, probably painted white at some point, but the paint was chipped and greying. The short driveway cut the front yard in half, and where there wasn't gravel, there was crab grass and weed. It looked as neglected from the outside as it did from the inside.

And I really didn't want to see the inside again. For a second I contemplated running. I was sure Thomalla wouldn't shoot me where shots could be heard, but then I didn't know where to run. Since he was right behind me, he'd be able to catch me easily, so there was really no sense in even trying.

So far, he'd been keeping his hands to himself, and I wanted to keep it that way. If I tried to run, he might get the idea that he had to hold on to me or something, and I really wanted to avoid that. So I sighed inwardly and braced myself for the emotions that would come flooding back as soon as I saw the inside.

"Pick up the key from under the mat," Thomalla ordered from a few feet behind me. I bent and flipped a corner of the doormat. A single rusty key lay under it. I picked it up and shoved it into the lock, but then I hesitated. My mind automatically went back to the time Teddy had carried me over the threshold. He hadn't known I was awake by the time he carried me inside, so I'd had a chance to take a look around. There was nothing spooky about the house itself, but it somehow seemed to me like a haunted house.

"Open the door," Thomalla urged behind me. His voice was still calm, but the friendliness from before the unmasking was gone.

My hand was shaking so bad, I couldn't turn the key, and tears were blurring my vision. Thomalla sighed heavily behind me and without warning, he shoved me aside to open the door himself. I tried to keep my balance, but my right ankle twisted and I fell off the porch, landing painfully in a dry bush.

Thomalla mumbled something that sounded a lot like "Stupid cunt" and watched me struggle to get up.

I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me hurt, so I bit my cheek when a piercing pain shot up my lower leg as I put weight on it. Of course it was the same leg that had the injured foot, the way my luck was going, I wasn't even surprised.

Thomalla had gotten the door unlocked and held it open for me, taking a look around to make sure we were still alone. I shoved my hand into my pocket and grasped Ranger's car key for support, not caring how ridiculous it was.

I took a deep breath and walked past Thomalla into the house, squinting, so I would see as little as possible. Inside, it was dark and smelled musty, as if no one had been here for weeks and all windows had been closed. I looked down at my shoes so I wouldn't see the hallway that led to the bedroom I'd been held in and the kitchen.

Thomalla was behind me, I heard him close the door, but didn't turn around. I stood stiff as a poker, a few steps ahead of him, trying hard not to acknowledge where I was.

"Sit down somewhere," Thomalla said somewhere behind me and I heard him flip open a phone. I took a look around the room, I remembered it as the room I'd found the phone in. Maybe Thomalla didn't know about the landline, I could hear the faint beeping of him punching a number into his cell phone.

Since he was probably still watching me, I didn't look around for the phone cord, I just sat down in the overstuffed chair that stood behind an old-fashioned coffee table. There was a coat of dust on it, just like on all surfaces, undisturbed. It wasn't dirty, it was unlived in.

The small sitting room opened to the hallway on the right. There was another chair on the left wall and an empty bookcase next to it. A worn rug covered some of the hardwood floor. Again I got the feeling it was an old couple's house.

I was hoping Thomalla had forgotten that I said I had to go to the bathroom. I'd rather let my bladder explode before I'd go back to the bathroom here. I didn't want to see any part of the house I associated with Teddy.

"I'm here," Thomalla said into the phone, "No problems, just as predicted." I folded my hands in my lap and focused on them, trying to get into a zone like Ranger did when he was driving, trying to play 'anywhere but here'.

"No go, he's staying in jail. Forget him." I wondered if Thomalla was talking to another accomplice. If he was going to ask him to come over, I'd take my chances with running.

"No, we go ahead as planned," Thomalla said, he had started pacing. He wasn't looking at me, but I knew he was watching me. "Yeah, tomorrow. Make sure you keep your eyes open. Tell the others. And call me!" He said and disconnected. So there were more than just two people working with Teddy.

I'd been playing along up until now. I hadn't resisted at my apartment and I had driven us here without argument. I didn't know if the phone call Thomalla had just made had anything to do with it, but something inside me snapped and I was done being nice. I realized it could end badly for me, but I was beyond caring.

"Now what?" I asked, looking at Thomalla, "We wait for the boat to leave for Panama? You will not get away with this, you know that, right?"

Thomalla turned to look directly at me and his eyes narrowed. "Oh, but I have," he said, grinning. "Did you see any roadblocks? Any choppers cruising overhead looking for you? No one suspects me. The only one who did is dead." He padded his pocket where I assumed he'd put the CD. "I took all evidence out of circulation."

If I told him he was wrong, there was a copy of it on my laptop, he'd call one of his goons and have them take care of it. But I really wanted to wipe that grin of Thomalla's face.

"Jeter knows," I bluffed. Thomalla scoffed. "If he did, he'd have no clue what it is he knows. The guy couldn't find his ass with two hands and a flashlight. Nice try, sweet cakes, no one knows."

I swallowed hard. He clearly knew that I knew. That really made it obvious, he was planning on taking me out of the picture. The fact that I wasn't dead yet probably meant he still had some use for me.

"Teddy knows, he might crack." Why didn't I just keep my mouth shut? If I got Thomalla angry right now, I might shorten my life expectancy even more. Oddly enough, a big part of me had stopped caring.

But he didn't get angry, he snorted. "That little low life owes me, and he knows it. The only reason he's been flying under the radar up until now is because I made it so. He knows shit will hit the fan if he sings and he's not stupid." He seemed to consider his words and amended, "Crazy, yes, but not stupid. Besides, he knows dick. So what if he knows my name? Like anyone is gonna believe him."

"Let me go and I won't tell anyone," I tried. I pretty much knew it was useless, but I figured it was worth a try.

"Sweet cakes, the day I believe what a woman says is the day I die," Thomalla said with a dismissive wave. I was hoping he'd believe me before the day was over. He was still holding the gun in his right hand, but he hadn't made a move to tie me up yet. It was a sign. He was telling me in no uncertain terms that he wasn't afraid of me, that he had the power. Bringing me here was proof of that.

"Why are we here?" I asked. If I was to die, I might as well know the whole story. I was getting calmer and calmer the more certain I was that this was it, end of the line. Strange, really. But I was sick of being scared, of panicking and of fearing for my life. It seemed I had used up all those feelings. The most prominent emotion I felt was anger.

"What, a walk down memory lane? Trying to intimidate me? Don't you think the .45 in your hand is doing that job nicely?"

Thomalla looked at me and I could see the surprise in his eyes. Hell, I couldn't believe what I was saying either. I figured I'd done a good job hiding my feelings upon entering the house of horrors though, he might just believe I was unfazed.

"This is my house," he finally said. "I let Gardner use it when the little turd had nowhere to go, but it's mine."

Probably the house was in someone else's name though, because if Thomalla's name had come up during RangeMan's check, I would have known. For all I knew, Thomalla could be making it up, and it didn't matter. What mattered was that I had to convince him he didn't scare me.

"So you come here when you got nowhere else to go, too?" I asked, baiting him, daring him to make a move. It was stupid, I had no weapon to defend myself with, and he knew it.

The grin on his face got wider as he put his free hand up to his ear as if he was listening. "You hear that, cupcake? It's the sound of no one caring, no one coming to your rescue. You're here to entertain me until it's time to leave. No more, no less." He shrugged, "I came here because I knew no one would look. I don't like to be interrupted." An hour ago, the look he gave me as he said this would have made me cry or panic. Now, all I could think was 'Bring it on'. It was a much nicer feeling than fear.

I knew there was only one thing he could mean by 'entertaining' and all I could think of was that it would give me an opportunity to kick his balls into his stomach. I would rather die than have Thomalla touch me.

He shook his head and tsk tsk'ed. "Just couldn't keep your nose out of my business, could you? I gave you a stalker and everything; one would think it would occupy you enough." He sat down in the other chair.

"Tell me, did you like being here? Did you and Gardner have a good time?" He waggled his eyebrows and his grin was back to a smirk. I wasn't listening. I was straining my ears to find out if what I thought I'd heard was real.

Ever since I'd parked the car, I hadn't heard another engine. Now I thought I heard more than one car approach.

"Answer me, bitch!" Thomalla yelled and backhanded me. I flew back against the chair and couldn't stifle a gasp. I had let my attention slip, I hadn't been aware of my surroundings, I realized.

I sat back up and denied him the satisfaction of tears. "I think he had a much better time than I had," I said truthfully, to show Thomalla it was nothing I was scared to talk about. I was mightily impressed with my new self. My voice didn't tremble; my eyes didn't burn with tears. I remembered this Stephanie. It was the Stephanie that had first vowed to avenge Morelli's death, and now she was back.

My cheek was burning and would probably turn nice colors in a couple hours, but I was ignoring the pain. Either I wouldn't live to see the bruise or Thomalla wouldn't be alive when it bloomed, I couldn't think of any other possibility.

"I knew that was the way to get your attention," Thomalla sneered, "I kept telling Morelli. But he wouldn't listen."

"Of course he wouldn't listen, why would he, look at you," I spat out and this time, I could see my words hit home. For a split second, Thomalla's eyes grew wide and his upper lip curled back. I didn't even have to specify what I was talking about. I'd acted on a hunch, and it seemed like I'd been right, Thomalla was jealous of Morelli. Of what, I couldn't be sure, but the way he talked about him was too demeaning to be anything but jealousy.

The moment was over, Thomalla had regained composure. "Doesn't matter now, does it? I'm alive and he isn't, end of story."

My face must have given away the effect his words had, because he grinned satisfied. Shit. Just a friendly reminder I wasn't as tough as I'd like to be, I still had to bite back tears at the mention of Joe's death. But I willed myself not to dwell on it and straightened my shoulders.

"Pretty sad when you have to kill people because you feel so inferior…" I said, forcing my voice to stay calm. His hand jerked forward before I could react and he backhanded me again. Probably we were even in finding each other's weak spots, but he still held the gun and the muscle power. Was I _trying_ to get him to kill me?

The sane Stephanie wanted to plead with him, even play along with what he wanted, only to make it out alive. The Dirty Harry Stephanie thought she heard car doors close. I ran my tongue over my teeth to make sure they were still there; my vision was kind of blurred from tears now.

Thomalla had gotten up and stood by the side of the window, looking through. Apparently he'd heard something, too. He turned and focused his eyes on me.

"I changed my mind," he said, his voice cold and without emotion, "I don't want to play with you anymore. But just in case I'll need you to negotiate later, I'll keep you around."

I had a snippy remark on the tip of my tongue, but my burning face made me keep quiet. I should focus on planning my escape, not baiting a criminal, I decided. It seemed I had less of a death wish than I thought.

He walked towards me, pulling a piece of twine out of his pocket.

"Get up," Thomalla barked and gestured with the gun. I stood, favoring my injured leg and took a step in the direction he was indicating. I thought he would tie me to the bed or something; instead he told me to stop in the middle of the hallway and opened a closet door. He took my hands, wound the twine around them and tied it with a double knot.

"In here," he simply said and gave me a shove. It was a coat closet, but the rod was empty. I debated my chances, if I took a step back and turned, then lifted one knee…probably I'd get shot before I'd completed the turn. Where was my earlier carelessness? I was surprised Thomalla didn't even tie me to the rod; probably he didn't have any rope.

"Make yourself comfortable," he sneered and closed the door. The closet was big enough for me to sit down. I wasn't comfortable, but I had time to think.

For one, I really wanted to choose a direction and stick to it, I was angry at myself for getting scared and intimidated again. I was still berating myself when there was a knock at the front door. I held my breath. The noises I'd heard hadn't been my imagination.

"You make a sound, I kill whoever it is," Thomalla said through the closed door. That was fine by me. If it was Ranger, he wouldn't wait for Thomalla to draw his gun, I didn't need to warn him. I was still holding my breath when I heard the door open.

"I said _call_ me!" Thomalla steamed, "Not show up! What the fuck! Come in already, get out of sight!"

So, not the cavalry then, one of Teddy's or Thomalla's thugs. Hopefully just one. I resumed my normal breathing and strained my ears to listen to the conversation. They were walking away from the hallway, probably into the sitting room, so I couldn't make out the words. I just tried to stay still and not make a sound, maybe Thomalla would forget about me.

_Yeah, like that would happen_, Sane Stephanie spoke up in my head. Boyfriends and husbands may forget about you, stalkers and deranged police officers don't.

I started gnawing at the twine. It was wound around my wrists twice, nothing I couldn't handle. Now I was glad Thomalla left my cuffs at my house, it'd a lot harder to get out of those. The twine gave, and I was able to pull the knot over my hands. I'd freed them. Okay, so Thomalla hadn't exactly bound and gagged me, but still, it felt like an accomplishment.

What I needed now was a plan. I smacked the heel of my hand against my forehead to get my thoughts flowing, but I only made my head hurt more.

"You what?" The visitor exclaimed, "She's here? Are you nuts? What do you want with the bitch?" I couldn't hear Thomalla's reply because he kept his voice low, but I was pleased to hear that he apparently wasn't the boss of the little group. They continued to talk, but I couldn't understand them through the door.

I heard a cell phone ring minutes later, there was some shouting, and then heavy footsteps rushed towards the closet. I got up and raised my hands, but I didn't know if it was to attack or defend myself. Since the door never opened, I didn't have to make the decision.

The cell phone rang again and Thomalla was barking into it. He was walking while he talked and his voice kept getting closer.

"Well see now, that's unfortunate," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "I guess I underestimated her." Who was he talking to? _He_ underestimated _me_? That was good to know, but didn't make any sense.

"Okay then, let's assume I do have her here, what are you offering?" He asked and his voice sounded a lot closer now. Someone knew I was here. Ranger? Maybe someone was just guessing I was with Thomalla and had no idea where we were, I couldn't rely on others anymore.

I felt around the dark closet for something, anything, I could use as a weapon. The rod was embedded into the walls; even with my full weight on it, it wouldn't budge. There were some boards over the rod that formed a shelf. I closed my eyes even though I couldn't see anything; I was bracing myself for touching a spider or some other creepy-crawly monster.

My fingers brushed against something, it made a soft scraping noise and I felt a surge of hope when I realized it was a wire coat hanger. Dust and God knew what else rained down on me when I pulled it off the shelf, but I held my breath and avoided a sneeze.

I couldn't see what I was doing, but I'd handled enough coat hangers to know what they looked like, so I bent the hook part until it was straight and the hanger part until I had a sure grip on it.

Thomalla was laughing and it was an ugly sound. "I'm always up for negations. And I know a bargain when I see one." All was quiet while I assumed he was listening. When he spoke up again, all fake friendliness was gone from his voice, he was cold and cunning.

"You for her. You come unarmed and you will be my driver, no one follows. Take it or leave it."

I sucked in some air and bit my hand to stifle a scream. He was talking to Ranger and Ranger had just offered himself in exchange for me. No way, I thought, this was all too déjà vu, except unlike the Scrog mess, Ranger had nothing to do with Thomalla. I had dragged him into this; I couldn't allow him to risk his life for me. Unfortunately I couldn't think of a way to prevent it either.

"Okay," Thomalla said and flipped his phone shut. I couldn't hear him, but I felt him getting closer. I slipped the pointy end of the hanger in between the middle finger and the ring finger of my right hand and held it at waist level. The plan was to strike as soon as the door opened, so I didn't have time to think about it. I was always at my best if I just acted on instinct. Then again, I always got into the most trouble that way, too.

But the door didn't open. I had the vision of Thomalla standing on the other side, staring at it. Or maybe he was levelling his gun right now, getting ready to shoot me. I chewed on my lip trying to decide if I should strike first. The door didn't lock, although I hadn't bothered to check if it had a doorknob from the inside. I was reaching out slowly with my free hand, feeling for the doorknob when Thomalla's voice made me freeze.

"So, cookie, you awake in there? It appears you have a knight in shining armor, willing to die for you," he chuckled, "How noble, don't you think? Well, I think he can die, alright, but it's not gonna save you." I could clearly envision his smirk at this point, the sick bastard was enjoying this. I had to take deep breaths to fight the panic that was trying to come up again.

"See, he doesn't know what it's about. But you do, cookie, you do. And because of that, I can't let you live." He seemed to ponder that, or maybe it was just a theatrical pause. "Shame to take a good man like him out, really. It's always women that fell the strongest men."

I rolled my eyes. I was scared shitless, but he was just too much. He clearly liked to hear himself talk, and now he was getting philosophical, finding new ways of saying he was going to murder two people in cold blood. Ironically enough, I was able to once again keep my fear under control because he was overdoing it.

Somebody was banging on the front door and I flinched. Ranger. Walking into the lion's den, yet again. I didn't know if Ranger knew about the accomplice in the house, but I guessed he didn't. Did he have back-up or was he standing at the door by himself, trusting Thomalla to keep his word?

More banging, and I could have sworn Thomalla whispered something like "Showtime" as I heard his footsteps walking away from the closet.

Really, hadn't we learned anything from the Scrog fuck-up? Yes, I decided, I had learned.

I had lost Joe. It had been over a month and it still hurt to even think about him. I didn't think I'd survive losing Ranger, too.

There was just one way to act, really.

TBC

A/N: So this is it, the next chapter will be the last. You tell me what you like to see, it may be in there. Then again…if Thomalla gets his hands on your reviews maybe not. He has ways. Just let me know how you feel, either way, I appreciate your reviews so very much.


	33. Chapter 33

I know I said this would be the last chapter, but I changed my mind. There is far too much to wrap up to cram it all into one chapter, so you have to bear with me just a little while longer…

Thank you all so very much for your reviews, they mean more than you can imagine.

And a thank you extraordinaire to Stayce, my friend, my beta and my much-needed editor!

Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, I still don't own them. Thomalla is mine though. Big whoop.

Rating: Rated t for Teen

Spoilers: None, it's my own thing…

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 33

I took a deep breath and allowed myself a second to listen. Thomalla must have reached the front door, he was yelling through it. "Are you alone?"

I almost cried out with relief when I heard Ranger's muffled response. It wasn't loud enough to understand what he said, but I recognized his voice. Even though I had been pretty sure Thomalla had been talking to Ranger on the phone, and that it was Ranger who was banging on the door, I really hadn't allowed myself to give in to hope.

"Drop your weapon, let me hear it fall. And don't try anything, I have Cookie here in front of me!" Thomalla yelled. Probably he was facing the door. Good, I needed him preoccupied and as far away from me as possible. Once again I reached for the doorknob. I had to act slowly so I wouldn't make any noise, but it was very hard for me to slow down.

I found the knob and turned it bit by bit. Thomalla had been so sure of himself, he hadn't even blockaded the door, it opened easily. I heard the click of the safety on Thomalla's gun and knew I had to act fast. Ranger wouldn't have come alone, but Thomalla could shoot him before any of the Merry Men could get a good shot at him.

"Sorry, she can't talk right now, but I assure you she's fine," Thomalla was yelling, apparently still through the door. That meant his back was to me. I took my chances and cracked the door open further, until I could slip through.

Thomalla hadn't bothered with any lights, it was almost dark in the house. The only light came from outside, as if headlights were trained on the front windows.

I barely allowed myself to breathe, I was concentrating on making as little noise as possible, preferably none. Unfortunately that meant moving carefully, setting one foot in front of the other, making sure I didn't trip or bump into anything in the poor light.

A few feet ahead of me, the sitting room opened to my right, and the light was a little better. I could make out Thomalla crouching next to the front door. At first I thought he was turned sideways, which meant he could easily pick me up in his peripheral vision as soon as I stepped out of the shadow, but he appeared to be facing the wall. I wondered if he was trying to give the impression of standing right behind the door.

"I _need_ to talk to Stephanie before I open this door," Ranger said and my heart skipped a beat. I couldn't remember ever being happier to hear his voice. Fuck it, I decided, it was now or never. The only thing I was sure of was that I didn't want Ranger to get hurt. I ignored everything else.

"IT'S A TRAP!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, raised my makeshift weapon and ran towards Thomalla at full speed.

It couldn't have taken more than a few seconds, but time seemed to stretch, as if there was too much input, my brain had to process it one thing at a time.

Thomalla turned, his eyes wide in surprise. I saw him lift his gun at the same time I heard a loud crash and saw the front door splinter into hundreds of pieces. I registered that Thomalla levelled the gun at me, but I realized that's what I wanted. I needed his attention away from Ranger.

I caught a glimpse of Ranger in the doorframe and Thomalla's gun swivelling in his direction. Suppressing all thoughts, especially those of risk and danger, I launched myself at him. I tried to raise the hanger while I was sailing through the air, but I don't know if I was successful.

All I remember was the impact, like running into a punching bag at full speed, and several loud retorts, gunshots.

And Ranger's voice, louder than I'd ever heard it before. A piercing pain shot through my side and the world went black, as sudden as turning off at TV in the middle of an action sequence.

When I came to, I knew immediately where I was. White walls and ceilings, the smell of antiseptics and the overall hush were a dead giveaway: I was in a hospital. And for some reason I knew it was nighttime, I was sure of it. At first I didn't do more than open my eyes and blink a couple times, trying to lift the fog of unconsciousness completely.

Next, I wiggled my fingers and toes for some reason, I guess to make sure they were all still there. I groaned softly when I involuntarily turned my ankle and it hurt. Clothes rustled next to me and I turned my head slowly when Ranger came into my field of vision.

He leaned forward and picked up my hand, carefully avoiding the IV line that had been poked into it. "Why am I here?" My voice sounded like scraping sand paper. He shook his head almost imperceptibly.

"How're you feeling?" He asked, his dark eyes studying me. I tried to roll my eyes to show him how much I hated that question, but I was too glad to see him. "Are…" I tried to say, but it came out like a croak, my throat was bone-dry. Ranger picked up a cup from the nightstand and put the tip of the straw into my mouth.

I took a couple sips of ice water and cleared my throat.

"Are you okay? What happened? Where's Thomalla?" Ranger chuckled, I wasn't sure why. His expression changed before he looked down at our hands, there was unusual emotion in his eyes.

"That can wait, Babe," he said and stroked his thumb over my knuckles gently. "You need to rest some more."

I tried to sit up when a sharp pain shot through my side. I gasped. And I remembered what happened right before I woke up in the hospital. Ranger jumped up and lowered me back down.

"Don't move," he advised. "You were in surgery for a while, it will be a couple days before you can sit or stand."

He held me easily with one arm while he fluffed up a pillow with the other hand and stuffed it behind me. I couldn't see any casts or bandages on him. He was wearing a skin-tight black t-shirt, I would notice any bandages under it. And since he'd just now jumped up, his legs were fine, too. I sighed relieved. Ranger hadn't been injured.

He locked eyes with me when he lowered me onto the pillow and he looked dead tired. "Hey," he said softly. "Hey, " I replied very eloquently and got the eerie sense of déjà vu. "You're okay." Ranger nodded. "Yeah, Babe, thanks to you I'm okay."

"Where are we, Trenton?" I asked. I was having difficulty getting the words out and keeping my eyes open although I still wanted to know what had happened, and soon.

Ranger shook his head slightly as a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, "Bridgeton."

Yep, definitely déjà vu all over again, that explained his smile. I was glad I was in a room and not behind an ER curtain like the last time Ranger'd brought me here after rescuing me from that house of horrors. I would've rolled my eyes, but I was too tired.

A knock on the door made me flinch. A nurse entered smiling, followed by a doctor. The nurse introduced herself as Joyce; she was about my mom's age and had the same motherly air about her. She took my vitals, made some notes and handed them to the doctor before she smiled her goodbyes and left.

Unlike last time, this doctor was a woman, Dr. Desprez, as she and her nametag told me, so I couldn't charm my way out prematurely. She asked me if I was okay with Ranger staying and I said yes without hesitation.

She explained I had a flesh wound and I'd been very lucky that the bullet had missed all organs and had torn right through me. I missed what else she was saying while she examined me because I realized that I could have just as easily been killed. Bells started clanging in my head when I understood what Ranger had meant by being stupid.

"…so if everything heals well, you'll be out of here within a week," Dr. Desprez finished up and that caught my attention.

"A week?" I asked, and I could feel Ranger's eyes on me. The doctor nodded, "We need to make sure there are no side effects from the blood loss today, and then there's the risk of infection…"

"Babe," Ranger said softly next to me, "Please." I knew he wouldn't let me get away with the fib that my roommate was a nurse. I sighed, "Can we renegotiate if I heal well in two days?" I asked.

Dr. Desprez chuckled, "Get some rest for now. I'll be back later to check on you, and we can discuss it further." She made some notes on my chart and stuck it back into the pouch at the foot of my bed. She continued smiling when she left, but I was tempted to give her the finger behind her back. A week! No way!

"A week," I whined. "It's for the best," Ranger said. He looked pleased. Hunh. I gave myself a moment to calm down and took a deep breath, but really, I was too tired to really get worked up about it at that moment. . I knew it was useless to argue with Ranger about how long I should or shouldn't stay in the hospital, he was probably happy the doctor had backed him up.

"Why don't you start by following her orders, hmm?" Ranger asked and took my hand. "Get some sleep, it can all wait until later."

"Will you stay?" I asked. "As long as it takes," Ranger replied, I think, but I'm not sure since I was already drifting off at the time.

The next time I opened my eyes, sunlight streamed in through the vertical blinds and almost made it to my bed. I was feeling a little more like myself. Ranger was still sitting in the chair next to me, his fingers entwined with mine. When I looked at him, his lips curled up in a smile.

"There you are," he said and ran his other hand over my cheek. I wasn't sure what he meant by that, so I just replied with a smile.

"Are you thirsty, or hungry?" He asked, tucking a loose curl behind my ear.

"Is there more water?" I croaked, cleared my throat and looked longingly at the cup. Ranger grabbed the cup and put the straw between my lips again. "How did you find me?" I asked when I was done drinking.

Ranger smiled and put the cup back on the nightstand, "Don't you always compare me to Batman? I have ways." I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't help smiling. "No really, how did you find me? No one followed us. I checked."

"I like the version where I'm Batman better but," He reached into his pocket, pulled out a key ring and jangled them. "LoJack, Baby." The only way I could describe his smile was goofy, and I snorted. Ranger _never_ smiled goofily. In fact, I would have bet Ranger never did goofy, period. When the meaning of his words set in, my eyes widened. "You tracked me the whole time?" I couldn't believe I'd had the right feeling about the keys. True, I only thought of them as a talisman, but they _were_ magic after all.

Ranger grew serious again. "No, not at first. You went to your house and left it a little while later," he almost-shrugged, "Nothing unusual about that. The control room saw the movement, but wasn't recording it." He sat down on the bed next to me and focused on arranging my blanket just right. "At the time, they didn't know they 'saw' you, I didn't tell them you had my keys. When I was done at the courthouse, I called you. That's when I got suspicious." He looked up and ran his index finger over my jaw line. "I knew the days you avoided my calls were over."

I blushed. Why did I ever think not talking to Ranger was the way to solve this mess? I reasoned I couldn't really be blamed, traumatic circumstances and all that. And really, I had learned a lot about myself during the last month, and I had grown up a little, in a way. Faced with the same situation, I would react differently now. I gave him an apologetic smile. "Then what?"

Ranger slid his fingers between mine. I looked down at our hands, admiring our contrasting skin tones. "I went to your apartment, found your phone. I'm sorry it took me that long to catch on."

I shook my head and met his eyes. "No, don't. You know this is not your fault. I should have waited for you at the courthouse."

Ranger smiled. "If it's not my fault, then it's not your fault either, okay?" I returned his smile, realizing I'd automatically taken the blame. "Okay."

"So what happened?" I asked and when I realized I sounded like I didn't remember anything I added, "I mean, after you thought something was up? After you found me?"

That didn't sound much better, and I grunted in frustration. Ranger chuckled softly and gave me his full-on smile. "How much do you remember?"

"Everything," I said at once. "Thomalla abducted me. You rescued me." Ranger barked a short laugh and it sounded relieved. "Yeah, that about sums it up," he said. He was stroking my finger with his thumb and warmth spread from my hand up my arm.

I frowned at him, getting confused. "You were at the door," I pointed out, "Negotiating with Thomalla." Ranger nodded. The rest was a bit fuzzy, it had all happened so fast.

I looked down at the big bandage around my waist. "I was shot!" I yelled in surprise. I should have been able to make the connection between the sharp pain and the lights-out before, but I'd just now put them together.

Ranger ran his finger over the bandage. "He shot you, but the bullet was meant for me," He said and the smile disappeared from his face. "You did a very brave and very stupid thing," he looked back up at me again.

"Thomalla?"

Ranger shook his head, "His goon. Came out at about the same time you did, but it was the last thing he'll ever do."

I grimaced. I'd forgotten all about the accomplice, even though he had just run by the closet minutes before Thomalla had started negotiating with Ranger. It wasn't like I cared for him, but I didn't wish him dead either.

And now I was confused. I remembered the coat hanger and the big jump.

"You broke in the door when I tackled Thomalla," I said, just thinking out loud, and it came out almost like a question. I shook my head. "Enough with the piecemeal," I said, trying to sound resolute. "Why don't you tell me everything from the start and I add my part afterwards?"

Ranger blew out some air, but the almost-smile was back on his lips. He pulled up the chair, sat down on it and rested his elbows on the mattress next to me, still holding my hand. "You want the long version or the summary?"

My stomach growled as if in response and Ranger commented it with "Guess that answers _that _question…" but then he leaned back, bent down and picked up a paper bag from the floor. He turned it upside down and an assortment of Tastykakes and candy bars rained down into my lap. Probably I looked like a kid on Christmas morning, it doesn't take much to make me happy. I felt better instantly and gave Ranger my version of a full-on smile. Ranger just shook his head.

"This will last me an hour, give me the full story!" I said, selecting a package of Butterscotch Krimpets. Ranger laughed at that and traced my jawbone with his finger, "Only you Babe."

I felt like the spot on my leg where his hands now lay was slowly heating up. I blamed it on the meds, they must have given me _something_, right? I didn't usually react to Ranger's every touch.

I closed my eyes to savor the taste and felt much better after the first cake. "Okay," I said, tackling the second one, my eye already on the next package. "Go on."

Ranger ran a hand through his hair. "I got to your apartment and got a feeling when I saw your cell phone in a pile on the floor." I raised my eyebrows, "A feeling?" I just had to tease him. Ranger shrugged and continued, "I got two teams together we practically flew to the location. Probably broke all existing traffic laws on our way, made it in record time. We found the car and ran the plates so I knew you were with Thomalla."

I nodded. "Did you check my laptop?"

Ranger shook his head, "Not at the time. I called Bobby to take over at your apartment, see if anything was stolen and such, and he told me what he found..." I stopped my hand halfway to my mouth as my jaw dropped. "So you didn't know?? It's the reason Joe was killed. It's the missing evidence, it's what Joe died for…" I waved my free hand in an all-encompassing fashion.

Ranger nodded. "I knew most of it. I knew there was evidence that would prove who the rat was. I just didn't have the last piece of the puzzle, what the evidence was. Bobby called before we got to Shiloh."

He picked up my hand and started stroking his thumb over my knuckles again. It felt nice, normal. Like we were sitting on my couch, not in a hospital.

"There were pictures and audio, but I didn't know what I was seeing and hearing."

"The photos were surveillance pictures of Thomalla with one of the tri-state mob bosses, Anthony Picariello," Ranger said, "Proving Thomalla's connection to the mob. I take it he saw you find it?" He asked, but it sounded more like a statement, so I just nodded.

"He could have killed you right in your apartment." I just nodded again, "Like he killed Joe." Ranger squeezed my hand, "Yeah."

"Did you suspect Thomalla when you got to my apartment?"

"He was the last one I knew you'd been with. And I got a call from Detective Krenzler. She had a hunch. She told me Thomalla hadn't checked in after court." He focused on our hands now, lacing his fingers with mine.

"Plus, you sent out the bat signal," he said and winked. My head had started to hurt and I was rubbing my temple without noticing it until Ranger got up and replaced my hand with his, gently massaging my scalp.

"There's a panic button on the key fob," He explained, "I thought you knew that because you kept pressing it. That's why we tried our best to get to you as fast as possible." I remembered how I had squeezed the remote thingy, trying to draw strength from it.

I let myself relax in his hands and closed my eyes again. Within minutes, the headache was gone.

"What was Stayce's hunch about?" I asked, my eyes still closed, my head resting in Rangers hands. His fingertips were circling on my scalp, inching their way towards the back of my neck and it felt heavenly. I could feel all tension in my muscles evaporate.

"Apparently, she has a Spidey-sense, too," Ranger said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. "She said she'd gotten a weird vibe from Thomalla the last time she'd talked to him."

When his hands reached the spot where my neck met my shoulders I moaned involuntarily.

Ranger's hands stilled and I opened my eyes. I wanted to ask him why he'd stopped but when my eyes found his I couldn't form the words. His face was inches from mine because he was hunched over to avoid touching my injured side. He blinked and the moment was over. Maybe I had imagined the whole thing.

I cleared my throat and Ranger straightened. "That felt good," I said to end the uncomfortable silence. When he didn't respond I tried to read his expression again but the blank face had slipped into place.

"So you followed me because Stayce had a hunch?" I asked, deliberately teasing him. He shook his head 'no'. "I followed you because _I_ thought something was off," he said and shoved his hands into his pockets and remained standing. "Stayce just confirmed that I wasn't overreacting."

I raised my eyebrows in a silent question. Ranger never needed anyone to confirm or condone what he was doing, he did what he thought was right. "What are you not telling me?"

He finally met my eyes again. "You asked me days ago to check Thomalla out," he said softly, "Something always came up. I keep thinking if I had done my job I might have found him out before you…" He gestured towards my bandage.

"That's ridiculous," I objected before he could finish, "I'm sure he was smart enough to cover his tracks. Morelli'd found him out that's why Thomalla had him killed!" I noticed how I was able to speak of Morelli's death now without even choking up. I hadn't believed Ranger when he said I'd heal, but it was true. For a second, I forgot the more pressing issue of what had happened and realized that I was healing. Ironically, because of Teddy and Thomalla, in a way. They had jump-started Take Charge Stephanie, and she didn't do Distressed Damsel, crying mess.

Ranger misunderstood my silence and put his hand on my forearm, "You okay?" I nodded. Then I wondered if I should feel guilty for being okay or if it was what Joe would have wanted. I decided to think about it later.

"What did Bobby do with the evidence?" I asked instead. "Handed it over to the Feds," Ranger said, "Are you _okay_?"

"You mean aside from a flesh wound that will keep me in the hospital for a week?" I raised my eyebrows at him and he gave me his 1000-Watt smile, "Yeah, aside from that."

I picked up a Snickers bar. "What happened to Thomalla?"

I didn't know if I wanted him dead or brought to justice, as they say. He was responsible for Joe's murder, but a quick death seemed way too nice for him.

"Well, he's alive…although we had a hard time getting him out of the house, he kept tripping and running into things…" Ranger smiled at the memory. Good, I thought, at least they'd gotten to beat him up.

"He'll go to jail, Babe. And you wouldn't want your worst enemy to be a cop in jail," Ranger finished, as if reading my thoughts. I remembered Morelli telling me something similar a long time ago, and an evil smile spread across my face. "Good."

I finished the Snickers bar and licked my fingers. "Do you think Thomalla was the only rat? Can you trust the feds?" Ranger was watching me but again, I couldn't read his expression.

He cleared his throat, "The lead agent, Guerro, and I were in boot camp together. We stayed in touch over the years. Yeah, I trust him." I sighed relieved. Ranger didn't trust anybody lightly.

"They pretty much established early on that it's just one leak, it always seemed to be the same source," he explained. Thank God! I motioned for him to go on, but he changed directions.

"The control room dispatched the cops and an ambulance," he continued, absently stroking my bandaged abdomen. "We got you to the hospital and Thomalla to jail."

I was thinking about pointing out that a huge part of the puzzle was still missing, but for some reason, I didn't want to think about it any more right there and then.

Instead, I summed it up for the moment, "So it's over."

"It's over," Ranger confirmed and reached out to run his fingers that had been resting on my arm higher up. He tucked a strand of hair back behind my ear and lightly touched my earlobe. It tickled and I automatically smiled. "It's over," he repeated, softer this time. He seemed to mean so much more than just the case. I looked up and our eyes locked.  
A smile was playing around his lips when he leaned down and kissed me. No tongue, just his soft lips meeting mine. When he moved to pull away, I slid my free arm around his neck and pulled him closer. After the slightest hesitation, as if he needed to assess this new situation, I could feel him smile against my lips.

I don't know why I took the lead, it seemed like the thing to do. I wanted to kiss Ranger. I wanted to kiss him guilt-free and because he was Ranger, not because he was poaching and not because he was seducing. Because I _wanted_ to. In a way, I almost had to thank Teddy and Thomalla for helping me grow. Almost. This was the new Stephanie, Take-Charge Stephanie, Knows-What-She-Wants-Stephanie.

And this Stephanie was not afraid to make the first move. I tightened my grip around Ranger's neck and deepened the kiss, running my tongue over his lower lip teasingly, seeking entrance. I was the one kissing him, not the other way around. But if Ranger had been as surprised as I was, he'd gotten over it fast. His lips parted willingly and when our tongues met and I moaned into his mouth, I felt his hands snake around me and pull me to him. Thank God I wasn't hooked up to one of those beeping machines, my pulse probably shot up to 180.

Ranger's scent filled my nostrils, Bulgari and…Ranger, and his tongue was doing something magical while his hands had pulled me up and were wandering over my back.

I'm not sure where I was going to take the kiss; we were interrupted by Ranger's phone. He swore colorfully when he pulled back to answer it and I couldn't stifle a nervous giggle.

What was happening anyway? I was wounded, lying in a hospital bed, still clueless about how I'd gotten there, and my first priority was to make out with my friend? Except Ranger was so much more than a friend, and we both knew it.

And that wasn't the point either; my guess was I was going with denial again. And what better way to distract myself, really?

I shook my head to clear it. Ranger had turned and stepped towards the door, I couldn't hear what he was saying and I couldn't see his reaction. He walked back over to me after he'd disconnected.

The phone call left Ranger smiling, but he didn't move to continue our intimate moment. I tried not to be disappointed and reminded myself why I was here to begin with.

"Booked and not going anywhere," he said cryptically and he sat back down next to me.

I occupied myself with straightening the blanket. I wasn't embarrassed about the kiss, but I didn't know how to proceed either. Ranger was smiling, but it was impossible to tell whether he was smiling at me or about the phone call.

I cleared my throat, "Who are you talking about?" I asked just to say something, "Who was on the phone just now?"

Ranger leaned back. "Guerro. They're done evaluating the evidence and issued the federal arrest warrant for Thomalla," his smile broadened. "Federal in this case means no bail, no arraignment, just his cell until the case is ready to be presented. And not in front of a district court either." He smiled satisfied.

The fact that Thomalla definitely wasn't going anywhere was reassuring. Although with the evidence out in the open, probably Thomalla wouldn't need to get me out of the way anymore.

My mind went back to the conversation I'd had with him and all of a sudden, a scary thought hit me like a ton of bricks. And the more I thought about it, the more it seemed likely.

"What about Teddy?" I asked, "what if he cuts a deal? The FBI always lets you cut a deal, it's on every TV show. He'll tell them what they want to know and they'll release him, all charges against him will be dropped and he'll be free to stalk me, except I won't be his first target, that will be you, because according to him, you're in his way, and…" I realized I was babbling, but I was unable to stop. I panicked.  
"Stephanie!" Ranger cut me off. I hadn't even realized he'd gotten up and put his arm around me.

"Calm down, Babe, you're shaking!" I'd been too involved in my panic attack to notice. Somewhere along the line I'd grown so scared of him, the mere thought of hearing Teddy's voice freaked me out.

"He won't cut a deal, I promise." He said as he sat down next to me and pulled me to him.

"You can't promise that," I argued, my face against Ranger's chest, but I could feel myself calm down when I felt his heartbeat.

Ranger ran his hand over my hair. "It's over. RangeMan will hand over all the evidence we found at Gardner's house. Neither of them will get a deal. We'll get him on insanity charges if push comes to shove. They're in jail, and that's _your _accomplishment."

I pulled back to be able to see his face. "How is it _my_ accomplishment? All I do is get kidnapped and shot!"

Ranger chuckled, "Yeah, that's all you do." He held me with one arm while he smoothed my hair with his free hand. "I swear, Babe, I stopped breathing when I saw you jump Thomalla. Do you realize you could have been killed? But you distracted him! Otherwise I would have been the one getting shot, and I wouldn't have woken up."

"You can't know that," I protested.

"I know you saved me," he said and touched my cheekbone lightly. "I'm sorry it took me some time to catch up, but I did pay him back for hurting you."

I smiled, "You didn't know he'd hurt me at the time." By know it was probably literally written on my face. I had a pretty good idea what my cheeks looked like from being slapped repeatedly, probably turning funny colors. But I was still proud of the fact that I hadn't broken down in front of Thomalla when he'd hit me.

Ranger kissed my forehead. "Pain is not all physical," he said and his lips traveled down my nose. Ranger talking about feelings? That would explain his blank face when he told me about the shooting.

"Yes, but…" I'm sure I had an argument at the time, but I never got to say it because Ranger's mouth had reached my lips. "Shhhhhhh" he whispered before he gently shut me up with his mouth. His hands cupped my face and his tongue slid out to caress my lips.

Whatever I'd wanted to say became unimportant when I parted my lips and Ranger's tongue met mine. Tiny spark of electricity shot down my spine, pooled in my belly and traveled south. When I looped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, I felt him growl deep in his throat and the heat centered in my core.

Part of me knew that we were in a hospital, in a tiny bed even, but a much larger part didn't give a damn about that, I wanted to feel Ranger, every inch of him. I fisted his hair and deepened the kiss, showing him exactly how much I didn't blame him for anything that had happened to me. He had lowered himself onto the bed alongside of me and I pulled his shirt free and slid my hands under it without breaking the kiss.

I could tell Ranger was trying to avoid my injuries when his hand slid under the hospital gown and moaned when his hand touched my breast.

He pulled back about an inch, "Maybe we should postpone this until we have more room," he whispered, touching my nose with his.

"Shhhh…just kiss me."

TBC

A/N: In case you're still curious, you will get the play-by-play of what happened, I just couldn't fit it in here. Steph wasn't ready for it…

Please let me know what you think, I draw my inspiration from your reviews and they entertain Ranger and Steph while I keep them in rooms for days while I try to come up with the next step.


	34. Chapter 34

OK, this is it...I think. I was thinking of adding an epilogue, if there is any demand for it. So let me know.

Thank you all so very much for joining me on this ride, it all started with this one line in my head that I had to write down and look what happened...LOL

Through 'it all', Stayce was by my side and held my hand (and kicked my ass when necessary), thanks to her this turned into my first novel-length fic.

What kept me going from chapter to chapter were your wonderful reviews, PMs and emails, thank you guys a million! I apologize if I didn't get back to you in person, but know that I appreciated your feedback.

Disclaimer: I use all characters for entertainment purposes only, I make no money off of them

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 34

The only compromise I managed was leaving the hospital after five days instead of a week, but I gladly took what I could get. After five days, I thought I'd never get the smell of antiseptics out of my hair.

Ranger helped me out of the bed into the obligatory wheelchair and I was excited to go home after this morning's final check up. He'd brought me clothes on the second day, so I didn't have to wear the awful hospital gown that showcases everyone's ass. I still wasn't allowed to shower, so I'd cleaned up as much as possible in the bathroom and dressed in sweats for the big moment. I'd tamed my hair as good as possible with the supplies Ranger had brought me and went with the ponytail for today.

Ranger smiled when he made sure I was seated comfortably, "You ready?"

"I was ready two days ago," I replied. Ranger looked like he was thinking of rolling his eyes but didn't say anything as he shouldered my duffle and rolled me out of the room.

"My flowers!" I remembered when we were halfway down the corridor. "Go back! I want my flowers, please?"

Ranger had given me a beautiful bouquet of freesias and chrysanthemums and daises and I loved those flowers. I could hear him chuckle as he turned me around and rolled me back into my room, handed me the vase and pushed me back into the hallway again.

I wanted to protest when he took the vase from me and lifted me out of the chair into his car, but I knew I could have hurt myself climbing into the Cayenne. Ranger reached over to buckle my seatbelt and looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"What?"

"You feeling okay?" he asked. "No argument? That's so not you." I stuck out my tongue as an appropriate reply and he took the opportunity to kiss me. Since he was already leaning over, all I had to do was lift my hands to pull him closer.

We hadn't taken it any further than the bone-melting kisses because we hadn't been alone all week. That was another reason I was looking forward to going home, although the pain in my side reminded me I'd have to wait a little longer for heavy action. Except I didn't know if I wanted any of the heavy action. We'd kissed, we'd touched, but we hadn't actually talked about what was going on. Take-Charge-Stephanie kept reminding me of the NC-17 dream I'd had in Atlantic City and that didn't help either. Knows-What-She-Wants Stephanie still wanted more than casual sex. I'd awakened demons!

The truth was, I'd grown way too comfortable with the way Ranger had come to visit me every day. He only left because I insisted he needed sleep too, otherwise he would have stayed in the hospital with me around the clock. And I liked seeing him every day. We'd spent more time together in the past six weeks than in all the years we'd known each other and I didn't want to go back to the old days of random meetings at Vinnie's.

Ranger tucked a strand of hair behind my ear when he pulled away and he gave me the full-on smile. "Deep thoughts? Or are you sad to say good-bye?"

I snorted, "Yeah, right!" It was perfectly acceptable to just answer his question and not share my thoughts, I figured. He let it go and just closed my door. It was hard to keep anything from Ranger; I'd have to make a decision fast.

He went into his zone while driving and I glanced at him every now and then when I thought he was concentrating on looking ahead at traffic, to study him.

He'd shown me a different side of him after I woke up after surgery. He'd shared his feelings and cared for me like a…well, therein lay the problem. I still didn't know what I was to him and unfortunately, my conscience wouldn't let me go further until I found out. Consciences are a real pain in the ass that way.

I had started thinking about Ranger as a way to distract myself from thinking about Thomalla, because thinking about Thomalla led to thoughts about Teddy and they still freaked me out. The problem was that thinking about my relationship with Ranger did nothing to brighten my mood.

After two days, Ranger had finally told me the entire story of what happened at the house Thomalla claimed to own, and I filed it under 'good to know'. I wasn't ready to deal with it yet. It wasn't the first time I'd been shot, and probably wouldn't be the last, but the events leading up to the shoot-out were a lot more traumatic for me than my flesh wound.

I don't know what Ranger thinks about when he's in his zone, but since we didn't talk, I spent the entire drive thinking. What did_ I _want from Ranger? What kind of relationship did _I_ want? Was I ready to move on? And if I was, did I want to move on with Ranger? And assuming I knew what I wanted, I had no way of knowing if it was what Ranger wanted. I had to stifle a grunt of frustration.

"You're taking me to my place, right?" I asked when we were getting close to the exit on 95. I knew that if I didn't say anything, Ranger would take me to Haywood Street. He'd get one of the studio apartments ready and move me in, the better to protect me. But I needed to go home, and I wasn't in danger anymore. I needed to fall onto my bed and know I was safe there.

And, okay, if I wanted to sort anything out I needed some physical distance from Ranger. I didn't trust myself in the same building with him, or at least I didn't trust my hormones.

Ranger cut his eyes to me, "If that's what you want."

"I need to check my mail! I have bills to pay before they cut off my electric and evict me. And I need to feed Rex, Hal promised to bring him home today, remember?" I realized I was rambling and made myself shut up.

Ranger smiled but didn't comment. Instead he just reached over and squeezed my hand. Another one of those gestures that could be interpreted a hundred ways from Sunday. I bit back a sigh.

He parked in my parking lot and grabbed my bag from the backseat. "Hold on a sec," he said, "I'll come around to get you."

"You're not carrying me upstairs!" I protested. "Try and stop me." He winked and got out of the car.

In the two seconds it took him to walk around the car to my side, I had an inner battle with myself. The Scarlett O'Hara in me was swooning over Ranger's chivalry, while the new and independent Stephanie scoffed. Before I could decide either way, Ranger had opened my door and leaned over me to pick me up. At least I had remembered to unbuckle my seatbelt, so that I didn't look like a total invalid. In an effort to at least appear unnerved, I rolled my eyes as I put my hands on Ranger's shoulders so he could pick me up. He ignored me and slid his hand under my knees.

He put me down in front of the back entrance and jogged back to the Cayenne to pick up my bag and the flowers. By the time he got back, I'd gone inside, picked up my mail and called the elevator.

"Dr. Desprez said I was okay to walk," I pointed out. He couldn't argue with that since he'd heard her discharge instructions, so I got to ride up in the elevator on my own two feet and ignored the little voice that was disappointed to not be in Ranger's arms anymore.

Since my keys were in my purse in my duffle, I waited for Ranger to unlock my front door. He didn't try to hold me back so he could inspect the apartment first, and I realized I had gotten so used to it that I hesitated a moment before I followed him. It would take some time for me to get used to being safe I figured. I stopped in the foyer and took a look around. It was easy to see someone had cleaned the entire apartment, it never looked as immaculate as it did now, even after I'd just cleaned it. It even _smelled_ clean. I smiled in appreciation, it was truly a homecoming.

Next, I rushed into the kitchen as fast as my injury would let me to greet Rex. Hal had gotten him a new cage and the Merry Men had taken care of him while I was in the hospital. I tried to coax him out of his soup can but he wouldn't move, probably exhausted from a night on his new wheel.

"I'm sure he's happy to see you," Ranger quipped when he joined me in the kitchen and saw my disappointed face. I'd have to get him a hamster so he would understand the bond Rex and I had.

My answering machine was blinking furiously. "What did you tell my mom again about where I was?" I asked with a glance at the blinking light. I was sure at least half of the messages were from my family.

"You were working with me undercover and couldn't blow your cover by calling home," Ranger said and pressed the play button. I hoped my mom had bought it.

"You have fourteen new messages," the machine announced. I had butterflies in my stomach until I realized there was nothing to be afraid of anymore, they would be messages from friends and family. The bad guys were in jail. Sure enough, the first three calls were from my mom, getting more impatient as they went along. I deleted the messages along with those of phone solicitors and Connie, Vinnie and Valerie asking where the hell I was. Lula knew, but Tank had asked her to keep quiet, so the Burg rumor mill wouldn't start.

I deleted all the messages, the call backs could wait. Ranger was leaning against the doorjamb, his arms crossed over his chest. "What?" I asked innocently. He just looked at me and I sighed. "Yeah, I know. I'm on my way to bed…"

It was part of the compromise. I got to go home, but I had to spend the bulk of the next week in bed.

Ranger followed me into my bedroom and sat down on the bed. "If you need help, I'll undress you," he suggested with a grin. Since I didn't know if he was kidding or not, I just grabbed my nice flannel jammies and disappeared into the bathroom to change.

I sent a longing glance to the shower; I couldn't wait until I was allowed to shower again. Wet washcloths just didn't do the job right, and I decided then and there to cheat and have a shower the next morning.

Ranger had fluffed up the pillows and turned down the comforter when I came out of the bathroom washed and changed. He literally tucked me in with a smile. His knuckles brushed over my breasts in the process, and I had to wonder whether it was on purpose or accidentally. In any case, I was glad my nipples' reaction was now hidden under the covers.

"Are you gonna stay?" I asked him when he bent down and kissed my forehead. It had come out sounding needy and insecure, not how I had intended it to sound.

"I have to go," he almost whispered, his mouth close to my skin. "But I'll be back later to kiss you awake."

He drew back and smiled as he left the room. I almost thought he'd left, but he returned a couple minutes later with a glass of water, my pills, my gun and the cordless. He was so thoughtful…for a man. A girlfriend would have brought me cake and the TV remote with the phone, I thought, but still, it was sweet.

"Anything else you need?" He asked as he placed the items down on my nightstand. I had a hard time keeping my eyes open, but I contemplated telling him that I needed him to stay and lie down next to me. In the end I just shook my head. "Thank you," I said yawning.

Ranger ran a finger over my cheek and smiled, then he was gone. I think I fell asleep before he closed the front door behind him.

I woke up just as promised, Ranger was lying next to me on top of the covers, his arm around me. He was propped up on his elbow and planted butterfly kisses all over my face; I opened my eyes right as he was kissing my nose.

"Hey," he whispered, placing the last kiss on my mouth. "Hey," I said and snuggled into him and his arm tightened around my hip. I liked waking up next to him; it made me feel warm and protected. It felt like home.

"What time is it?" I asked after allowing myself to wade through the remaining layers of sleep slowly.

"Time to eat," Ranger said and I could feel him smile against my hair. "It's afternoon and you haven't eaten since breakfast. I'm surprised your rumbling stomach didn't wake you." As if on cue, my stomach growled, and we both laughed.

"Is my hunger making me hallucinate or do I smell food?" I pulled my head back to be able to look at Ranger. He was still smiling. "That's why I woke you, it's waiting for you in the dining room." Probably he woke me because it was time to take my meds, but it was nice he had food waiting, too.

I'd gotten back my appetite for real food about two days after the surgery, and since Ranger always got me yummy meals, I was curious to see what he'd brought this time.

He helped me sit up and take my pills and then he lifted me up into a standing position. I was pretty sure I could have managed on my own, but I was enjoying the feeling of Ranger's flexing muscles under my hands too much to protest.

The table was set for two. Ranger had filled wine glasses with water, which gave it an elegant look. There was a big bowl of salad, but since I knew that wasn't what I'd smelled, I wasn't discouraged.

Ranger led me over to my chair and then disappeared into the kitchen. He returned with his hand in an oven mitt, carrying a baking sheet. "You cooked for me?"

Ranger just grinned and put a huge sandwich on each of our plates. "Cuban sandwich," he said winking and went to take the sheet back to the kitchen.

The sandwich smelled heavenly and looked absolutely delicious. Melted cheese oozed out between the grilled slices of bread and pooled with the grease from the meats on the plate. I tried to be polite and wait until Ranger came back, and the moment he sat down I grabbed the sandwich and took a huge bite. Ranger chuckled at my happy eating noises and grabbed the salad bowl to add some greens to our plates.

He wouldn't let me help with the cleanup after dinner and told me just to sit tight and relax. I took my pills right on schedule and they kicked in by the time we settled on the couch with coffee.

Ranger pulled me towards him so that my back was leaning against his chest and then ran his fingers over my arms. I didn't mean to, but full with a good meal and somewhat mellowed out from the painkillers, I fell asleep.

I woke up when Ranger carried me from the couch to the bedroom. "Sorry," I mumbled, "You sedated me with good food."

"Not how I usually achieve that state," Ranger chuckled and I could feel his body vibrate with the silent laughter. When he put me down on my bed, I held on to his neck and pulled him down with me.

"Do you have to leave again?"

"Not right this second," he replied and settled down next to me. He pulled me into his arms and I sighed contently. I decided not to ruin it by asking myself or Ranger how long he could stay, I just wanted to enjoy his warmth. He knew the danger was over just as much as I did, and still he stayed.

I woke up alone this time, but Ranger had left a note on the nightstand that he would call later. According to the alarm clock, it was almost 5, so I'd slept away the better part of the day. Dr. Desprez would be so proud. I stuffed the pillows behind my back and picked up the phone, figuring I might as well get all the calls taken care of, starting with my family.

My mom was unusually nice, making me wonder just what exactly Ranger had told her about my absence, but she still wouldn't let me go until I'd promised her I'd come visit the next day. I called Val next and was happy to learn that she had recovered from the traumatic events well, Baby Lisa was her usual self, and Albert was still overly attentive. All was well in the Plum family, it seemed. Next, I called Mary Lou to basically apologize for not calling in so long. I didn't mean to lie to her, but I ended up telling her a much abbreviated version of the events, omitting the getting shot part.

Rather than calling both Lula and Connie, I decided I'd stop by the office in the morning. I hadn't been there in way too long anyway; I still needed to talk to Vinnie to make sure I still had a job. Somehow that had taken the back burner when my car was attacked and I was kidnapped. Go figure.

Ranger called around seven, when I had just started a couch picnic with Oreos and milk and was watching a movie. The food fairy had stocked my fridge and pantry. Ranger had a surveillance and possible take down that night, but he said he'd come by later if he could manage. I knew he was just calling to check up on me, but I was hoping he'd wanted to hear my voice as much as I wanted to hear his. Then I told myself to get real. Still, a part of me kept hoping he'd spend the night with me. Another part of me was scared shitless of that possibility though, because it…_I_ wanted the whole relationship issue cleared up first.

I took my meds before I went to bed, just as I'd been ordered, but I still woke up in the middle of the night. It wasn't the pain that woke me up; it was another nightmare, although I couldn't remember the details, as I lay panting and sweating in my bed. Eventually I managed to fall asleep again and the next morning, I felt a lot better than the day before.

I figured doctor's orders were negotiable, so I took a shower. It felt like I had weeks of dirt and hospital grime to wash off, and it only hurt a little when I lifted my arms to wash my hair.

Rex came out of his soup can when I dropped some carrots into his food dish and I told him the PG 13 version of why I hadn't been around for a while. Rex could only handle so much violence. Ranger had said that he'd be by at some point, so I left him a note on my front door when I took off, feeling pretty proud of myself that I didn't even wonder where he'd spent the night.

I had to look around for my car, since I hadn't been the one who parked it. When I found it, I remembered what had happened the last time I'd driven it. Along with a smashed window, Teddy's goons had left Joe's finger in it. I shuddered involuntarily. The Mini had since been repaired and detailed; at least I couldn't see any damage or stains.

I told myself I was perfectly safe in the car now, the bad guys had been caught. Still, when I sat down gingerly and cranked the engine over, I let out a breath of relief when the engine caught and I didn't explode. Force of habit, I guess.

I stopped and got a dozen donuts and three coffees, and then parked the Mini behind the bonds office, although I kept telling myself out front would have been just as safe. I decided to go easy on myself and take some time to adjust to peace and safety, then I shook my head because I was actually having this conversation out loud with myself.

Lula looked like she was going to hug me, but she thought better of it and just took the coffees and donuts to put them on Connie's desk. Connie had a huge grin on her face. "Back in one piece! Good as new?"

"I will be," I confirmed and helped myself to a coffee and a donut before I sat down on the couch.

"I saw that grimace," Lula said, "You're not quite there yet. And don't be pretending neither, it's us. We know what's going on."

"No, we don't," Connie said, frowning at Lula"You've only been telling me bits and pieces and I know Steph was shot, but I don't know how, where or by who." I snorted. It must have been killing her not to know the details. I looked at Lula in surprise, it wasn't like her to keep secrets. She shrugged, "Told ya everything I knew. My man Tank wasn't exactly sharing details with me." Now they both looked at me with their eyebrows raised. I figured I owed them the whole story.

"My car is good as new already, RangeMan took care of all the …repairs." I knew they'd get the meaning. Both of them nodded. "What did Tank tell you?" I asked Lula. I wanted to tell them, but there was no need to go over what they already knew and relive it.

"I know what was in the papers, about the hearing I mean," Connie supplied. Good God, I should have known I'd made the papers. My mom had probably been ironing the whole week. There hadn't been any reporters at the courthouse, so I figured someone told the papers afterwards and probably they had recycled an old picture of me.

"So you know Joe's killer and my stalker is behind bars for good," I said. Connie's eyes grew wide. "He killed Morelli????"

I realized I needed to start pretty much from the beginning. I helped myself to a second donut and told them everything I knew about Teddy and Thomalla.

Connie frowned. "That name doesn't ring a bell."

"He's not from here," Lula filled in, "He transferred from Newark." Connie scoffed as if that explained everything.

I told them about Thomalla schmoozing me, playing the grief-stricken partner when he was the one who had Morelli killed because he'd found him out.

When I got to the point of Thomalla kidnapping me for knowing the evidence, Connie interrupted, "How'd he know you found it?"

I took a sip from my coffee, "He was with me when I found it. He'd told me it was the evidence needed to clear Morelli's name, so we'd both looked for it." Connie grimaced and motioned for me to continue.

"I don't know if Thomalla had been meaning to split anyway or if he just needed me out of the way, but he kidnapped me and had me drive to his house, only it was the same house Teddy held me captive in after he kidnapped me in Atlantic City…"

"Awful lot of kidnapping going on in your life," Lula mumbled. Maybe she was trying to tell me I hadn't exactly filled the two of them in about the last few weeks. I nodded, "Teddy followed me to Atlantic City after I ran out on Ranger who was trying to keep me from killing Teddy after I'd found out he'd killed Joe."

"Awful lot of killing going on, too." I glared at Lula but she was smiling, so I snorted. I could always trust Lula to find something to make fun of.

"Why would you run away from Ranger?" Connie wanted to know. "Twice," Lula added. I rolled my eyes and waved them off, "It doesn't matter, the point is, Thomalla and Teddy both took me to the same house. It was creepy."

"Because you didn't want Ranger to keep you safe," Connie summed it up, shaking her head. I couldn't get into this debate because I had no idea why I thought I'd be better off without Ranger. "This last time wasn't my fault though," I said, "Ranger was still needed at the courthouse and Thomalla offered to take me home." Neither Connie nor Lula looked like that made up for the times it had been my fault, so I moved on. I glossed over the talk I'd had with Thomalla and the abuse; I'd filed that away to be dealt with later.

"Thank God you still had Ranger's key with the GPS thingy," Lula said. "Ranger mobilized a team and followed her," she explained to Connie, as if she was happy to get it off her chest.

"Then what?" Connie asked, leaning forward, "Standoff at the OK Coral?"

"Something like that, yeah." I agreed. "Thomalla locked me in a closet, so I couldn't see anything, but some guy arrived before Ranger, an accomplice."

"Who?" I rolled my eyes. At the rate Connie was asking questions, this would take hours.

"Martin Ashton," Lula explained. "He worked with Gardner at the hospital as an orderly." I smiled. Lula was getting impatient. Connie selected another donut and for a moment I thought she was going to ask where Ashton was from or what hospital, but she stayed quiet.

"Ranger had asked the Merry Men to stay behind after he had established contact with Thomalla, he was negotiating with him for me." I thought that sounded neutral enough, I didn't want to share that I felt Ranger had offered himself to Thomalla so he would let me go. I shuddered at the memory of sneaking out of the closet.

Connie's eyes grew wide when I got to the part about coming up on Thomalla, Lula was fidgeting beside me, trying to get me to the part she didn't know.

"So I'm running at Thomalla with my only weapon, a coat hanger I found in the closet, and I'm screaming at the top of my lungs to distract the bastard." Ranger had called that stupid _and_ brave. I wasn't sure about the brave part.

"You whaaaat?" Lula shrieked. "Yep, and as it turns out, I was just in time, too. Ranger was about to enter, so Thomalla would've shot him. Instead," I lifted my sweatshirt, "Ashton came from behind and shot _me_."

Lula looked at my bandage with an expression resembling awe. "So you took the bullet with Ranger's name on it?"

I snorted. "Not quite that poetic, but basically. I passed out from it so Ranger had to tell me the rest when I woke up in the hospital." Connie sucked in some air. "I knew you weren't working undercover for Ranger!"

Lula noticed my curious look. "That's what Ranger's been tellin' everybody. Tank said he didn't want all of Trenton to know you was in the hospital." She looked at Connie pointedly and Connie busied herself with her coffee. We all knew Connie was a major wheel in the Burg's gossip mill. Ranger's story must have been really good if my mother had bought it after the newspaper story. "What happened to Thomalla and Ashton?" Connie changed the subject.

"Everything must've happened at once," I said, "Ranger broke down the door when Ashton shot me, so Ranger took him out first."

"Is he…?" Connie gestured. I just nodded. "Oh," Lula said. I still didn't know if I was supposed to feel bad for Ashton. If he hadn't shot me first, he might still be alive, so it was his choice in a way.

I looked at Lula, "That's when Tank and Cal barged in and tackled Thomalla to the ground before he could cause any more damage." Lula smiled proudly.

"So he's still alive?" Connie asked. "So far, yes. But he'll stay in prison without bail. From what I understand, being a cop in prison can make you wish you were dead though." Connie nodded knowingly at that.

"So basically, you saved Ranger's life?" Connie summed up. "It wouldn't have been in danger without me," I pointed out, "I did what I had to do." I meant it. If I had to do it over again, I'd do it the exact same way. I took a deep breath. "And now I have to save my job. Is Vinnie in?"

Connie shook her head and looked at her watch. "He's at the courthouse right now, should be back in a half hour or so." I cracked my knuckles. Vinnie had told Connie he was going to hire Joyce Barnhard full time and basically fire me.

I didn't know if I wanted to stay a bounty hunter forever, but I wanted it to be my call. "Did he hire Joyce Barn_yard _yet?" Lula scoffed next to me and finished her donut.

"No," Connie said, "There really haven't been any cases of her caliber. Lula's been helping out, so Vinnie never even noticed." I squeezed Lula's hand and smiled at her gratefully. She shrugged, "You would of done the same for me."

"So you think I still have a job?" Connie laughed humorlessly. "Let me put it this way," she said, "Either you still have your job, or Vinnie'll find himself without an office manager and a file clerk."

"Fuckin' A" Lula confirmed. I felt tears sting in my eyes. True friendship chokes me up. "You guys…" I said and pretended to look for something in my pocketbook.

Just then, the front door opened and Vinnie sauntered in. "Steph's back," Connie announced as if he couldn't see me sitting almost in front of him. I got up slowly. "I need to talk to y…"

"Yeah, yeah," he interrupted me; "I got the whole spiel every day last week. If you still want the job, it's yours." With that, he disappeared into his office and slammed and locked the door. I sat back down deflated. I'd expected a big fight over my job; instead, Connie and Lula had taken care of me. Between these two and Ranger, I had the best friends in the whole world.

"Thanks you guys," I choked out, fishing a tissue out of my pocket this time. "You would've done the same for us," Connie repeated Lula's words and Lula agreed. "Yeah. Who else would bring the donuts?" and then she jokingly punched my arm.

I was still trying to come up with something appropriate to say when Lula elbowed me. "Here comes the man of the hour now," she said and I looked up just as Ranger opened the door, dressed in a skintight black t-shirt, as if the near-freezing outside temperatures didn't apply to him, and black cargo pants. If "Guns & Ammo" had cover guys, he'd be it. He took off his mirrored sunglasses and I heard Lula suck in some air. I had to wet my suddenly dry lips.

Ranger went over to Connie's desk and handed her some paperwork. "The contract, just like discussed," he said. "I'll make sure Vinnie knows," Connie replied, but Ranger was already turning away from her towards me. He nodded at Lula and then he bent down to me. I could see Connie fanning herself and realized she was staring at Ranger's ass.

For a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me, but he leaned down past my face, put his hand on the back of my neck and whispered into my ear, "I was hoping you'd let me help with the first shower." His lips were touching my earlobe and my skin started tingling.

Lula cleared her throat next to me, although I was fairly sure she hadn't heard what Ranger said. Before I could think of an appropriate response, Ranger said, "I need to see you outside," and straightened back up. Connie looked as if she might faint.

I told Connie I'd be back to work the outstanding FTA's as soon as my doctor cleared me, since I knew Ranger wouldn't let me go skip-tracing sooner anyway, and she told me to take my time. I told Lula to call me and left the office.

Ranger was waiting for me outside, just left of the door, so he couldn't be seen from inside. He gave me the almost smile when he saw me. "So you're feeling better then?" He asked, reaching for my hand. He pulled me close to him and nuzzled my neck.

"How did you know I took a shower? Was I looking _that_ grungy before?" I was talking because I was nervous. I wanted to step closer and feel his warmth, no matter who may be smushing their noses against the office window to see us, but I was keeping some distance because I still didn't know how to read his signals.

Ranger smiled against my skin, "Babe, you used new shower stuff. I smelled in when I entered the office." His breath was tickling my skin, "This one is sweet…" his tongue dared out and touched my pulse point. I wrapped my arms around his neck to keep my balance. "Is…is that what you wanted to tell me?"

"No. Just didn't want every word overheard by Connie and Lula," he said. He pulled back and cupped my face. "I don't know if I should be happy you feel better or mad that you disobeyed the doctor's orders." The almost-smile on his lips belied his words and I smiled back. "You're happy for me," I replied and he chuckled.

"I think I'm happy for _me,_ too." He was still smiling when he kissed me, his soft lips barely touching mine. "I'm sorry I didn't make it over last night, we ran into some problems."

I was surprised Ranger was apologizing and waved it off as I took a step back. "I fell asleep watching TV anyway."

"What are you doing tonight? Can I interest you in dinner?" He asked, "My place?" I raised my eyebrows. Ranger had never just asked me over. I realized that might very well be one of the signs I'd waited for. "Are you cooking again?"

He pulled me closer. "Are you hungry _now_?" He ran a finger over my jaw line and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, then he let his hand linger on my shoulder. His eyes met mine and the heat I felt pooling in my stomach told me exactly what he'd meant by that question.

"I…I told my parents I'd stop by to catch up," I said, trying to think of how quickly I could get out of there. If I expected to escape my mother anytime today, I'd have to talk real fast _and_ be convincing. I sighed in frustration.

Ranger chuckled again, "Take your time. I have a few things to wrap up. Just let yourself in, I'll be waiting for you." He leaned in and kissed me right below my earlobe. "You always smell like flowers. Today it's vanilla. That's how I knew right away."

I was still trying to remember how to breathe and come up with a comeback that would make Ranger feel half as hot and bothered as he'd make me feel when he brushed his lips over my mouth and took off.

Okay, I thought, mentally cracking my knuckles and running through my 'to do' list. I'd told Connie and Lula the whole story, I had made sure I still had a job and I had a date with Ranger. Pretty good for a morning's work.

Thinking about being alone with Ranger in his apartment made my heart skip a beat. I'd been in his apartment before, in his bed even. But this was a first date, it didn't matter how long I'd known him, it would be a first date. I had to prep. Ranger didn't say whether he preferred my new scent to my old scent and now I didn't know if I should re-shower. And what should I wear? The jeans and sweatshirt I was wearing now wouldn't do, but I couldn't dress up too sexy, too…obvious either, could I?

And before I could focus on the date, I still had to see my parents. Grandma Mazur would probably see right through my fibs, she knew me too well. I'd have to tell her the true story at some point, too. Just as long as mom believed my story, she'd cut me off from dessert forever if she knew the truth.

For right now, I just had to make sure the bandage didn't show and I didn't wince when I moved.

Yes, I tried to convince myself, I can do this!!

The End

A/N: Are you still curious what happened? Let me know if you're interested in an epilogue and I get to writin'...


	35. Epilogue

By popular demand, here is the epilogue. LOL

Thank you all so very much for reading and reviewing, for staying with me throughout this story.

A spot in heaven for Stayce, who always puts her RL on hold to help me out with all the things needy little me comes up with…Thank you Babe!

Gracias, Luisa, for helping out with the Spanish!

Warning: Smut. Finally!

Disclaimer: All the usual. 35 chapters and I still own nothing.

Living on a Prayer 

Epilogue

You never know when you've seen someone for the last time until it's too late.

And I've learned that as much as you dread something happening, it can happen at any moment.

As I was standing at Joe's grave, I tried to focus on the times we spent together rather than the things I never got to tell him, like Grandma Mazur had told me to.

I put down a single red rose with tears stinging my eyes. Bob was whimpering, probably he sensed something was not right, but didn't know what it was.

I scratched his ear and pulled his head against my leg. "This is where your daddy is buried," I told him, "And I'm trying my best to be happy that he lived and not sad that he died, but I'm not doing a good job here." I thought maybe saying it out loud would make me feel better. Bob pressed his head against me.

If someone had asked me a year ago what the worst thing was that I could imagine, I would have told them 'losing a loved one'.

For about a week after Joe was killed, I was more dead than alive myself, I'd completely given up. My family and friends all thought I needed time to grieve and had left me alone, except for Ranger. Ranger had pulled me out of bed and reminded me I hadn't died with Joe.

At the time, I'd fought him tooth and nail; I'd wanted nothing more than to be left alone. Now I could appreciate that Ranger had effectively saved my life. I mentally roll my eyes every time I think about it in such theatrical terms, but it _is_ the truth.

Ranger had made me discover my hidden resources. Through his belief in me, I'd grown stronger. I'd found the strength to go after Joe's killer, when all I'd wanted to do was to curl up in bed and die.

Eventually I'd gotten around to calling Stayce Krenzler, the department's grief counselor, and I'd had some good talks with her. She's helped me 'cope', so to speak.

I'd come to accept that I would always miss Joe. After all, I'd known him all my life and he had become an important part in it. My life would forever be divided into 'with Joe' and 'after Joe'.

He died three months ago yesterday.

Two months after his death, his killer was officially accused of murder and the man who'd hired him was in prison as well.

Teddy Gardner had shot Morelli point blank, then he'd called my cell phone to record Joe's dying breath. That had been about thirty minutes before Eddie Gazarra came over and effectively ended my life as I knew it, by telling me Joe was dead.

Teddy was in prison now, awaiting his trial without bail, and the prosecution was working on a laundry list of chargesagainst him. If he was only convicted of one of them, he'd never breathe free air again.

Frank Thomalla had known about Teddy's obsession with me. He'd been Joe's partner when he transferred to Trenton. Morelli'd found out about Thomalla's mob affiliation, that Thomalla had been the Family's mole inside the department, and when the noose around Thomalla's neck threatened to tighten, he'd brought in Teddy.

I wondered if I'd ever get over the senselessness of it all.

Joe had died because Teddy was so obsessed with me; he thought if I wasn't with Joe, I'd fall for him. I still felt guilty, but Stayce kept telling me it wasn't my fault.

I knew she was right, Frank Thomalla was guilty, he'd been the one to tell Teddy the 'sure way to get me', but some part of me couldn't forget that Morelli would be alive if it wasn't for me. Probably it would take me a long time to get over it, since every time I saw a member of Joe's family, their looks told me they thought I was to blame, too.

I visit Joe's grave once a week, to bring fresh flowers and 'talk' to him. I tell him what's going on in my life and I pretend that he can hear me.

Today was the first time I'd brought Bob. Joe's cousin Mooch had taken Bob in at first, but Bob was an only 'child' and didn't mesh well with Mooch's three kids, so Mooch was only too happy to be rid of him. So now I was a single mom to Rex and Bob.

Ranger had offered me a job at RangeMan, the same job I'd held before, running research requests, and I'd accepted. Since Bob had always played better with men, he was quite happy with my new life. I took him with me if I knew I'd be spending all day in the office, and as soon as we walked in, a Merry Man would jump at the opportunity to take Bob for a long walk. Bob loved the Merry Men.

I divided my time between RangeMan and bounty hunting, because I got cabin fever if I spent too much time in the office. I went to the gun range diligently, although I still don't like guns, and I worked out at the RangeMan gym three times a week.

Sometimes Lula and I go after lower-bond skips and sometimes I get to partner with a Merry Man on higher bond ones.

And none of my new colleagues seemed to mind that I was dating their boss.

I walked back to my car, smiling at the memory of our first date.

I'd still been incapacitated from my gunshot wound and was as nervous as a high school girl. I tried on just about every outfit I had before I decided on a cornflower-blue silk dress that I'd gotten on sale at Macy's but had never worn. It was a modest knee-length, with a flirty, swirly skirt. A very girly dress in a color that emphasized my eyes. For some reason it had been important to wear something Ranger hadn't seen on me.

We hadn't set a time, but I figured six o'clock would be good to aim for. By the time I got to the RangeMan building my hands were shaking and I was giggling nervously. I was a wreck, but focusing on THE date had effectively taken my thoughts off of everything I was trying to push to the back of my mind until I was ready to process it.

Ranger was already waiting for me, just as he'd promised. He opened his apartment door dressed in charcoal grey dress slacks and a blue shirt. I was wearing a dress and Ranger wasn't wearing black, it was definitely a night for firsts.

I still remember how he'd stepped aside to let me enter the apartment and I felt his eyes wander over me as I walked past. Yep, the dress worked.

He had dinner waiting for me. There were candles on the dining table and soft music was playing in the background. It was the most romantic setting I could imagine, and came as a total surprise from Ranger. He'd basically had me at "Hey".

"He did it on purpose, too," I told Bob. Bob adored Ranger. It was time he knew the truth about him. "He knew _exactly_ how to lure me in, what I would fall for." Bob wasn't buying it, he knew when I was fibbing. The truth was, our first date was a complete success and had ended with me falling asleep in Ranger's arms in his bed after some bone-melting kisses that promised heaven as soon as I could move without pain again.

I dropped Bob off with my parents. My dad grunted from behind his newspaper, but I knew he didn't really mind taking care of Bob.

"I have pineapple upside-down cake for dessert tonight, will you be staying for dinner?" Mom asked. She knew the answer, that's why she told me about dessert rather than the main course. "I may have to work late, but save me leftovers if I'm not here at six."

She pressed her lips together but didn't say anything, she'd given up harassing me about my job. I'd been surprised at that but didn't question it. Then Grandma Mazur told me one night dad had told mom to get over it already and stop giving me a hard time. Wonders never ceased in the Plum family.

In the past, I had dinner with my family about once a week. Now I tried to make it three times. I know it's corny, but I don't want to make the mistake I made with Joe again, I try to spend as much time with the people I love as possible.

I smiled when I pulled into my parking spot in the RangeMan garage. I particularly liked to spend time with the man I loved. Every time I referred to Ranger as that, even if only in my mind, I resolved to never touch a romance novel again. Something about just thinking of Ranger made me sound like Barbara Cartland without the eloquence. It only got worse when I saw him.

I grabbed my pocketbook and closed the door to my company car with my butt as I send a finger wave to the security camera. I knew they loved it when I did that, and I aimed to please 'my boys'. Working with the Merry Men was totally different from working with Connie and Lula, but being the only girl in an office was definitely cool.

One of Ranger's parking spaces was empty, the truck was missing, so I knew he wouldn't be near the control room when I came upstairs. I turned on the computer in my cube and put down my purse, then I went to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. Several background check requests were waiting for me in my Inbox. One reason I loved my job were the flexible hours. Ranger had made it very clear early on that he didn't care what hours I worked, as long as my work got done on time. It was almost noon and I'd just made it to the office _and_ I didn't have to wear pantyhose, but I got a paycheck every two weeks. This was the best job I'd ever had.

Soon, I was so focused on my work that I phased everything else out. Since Ranger wasn't in, there was a constant low chatter in the control room, and I had to tune it out if I wanted to make sense to what I was seeing on the screen.

I was working my way through the requests and didn't notice the time until I felt the back of my neck tingle. That was a sure sign that Ranger was near. I turned my head and found him standing in my cube's entrance, leaning casually against the wall.

"You're not gonna demand I pay you overtime, are you?" He asked with an almost-smile. I glanced at my computer's clock, it was a little after six. It took a moment for the significance of that time to sink in. "Shit, I'm gonna be so late for dinner at my parents!"

His almost-smile turned into a full-on smile as he watched me log off and get up. "But you're right on time for dinner with me." He bowed jokingly and I laughed.

Tough choice. Ranger or pineapple upside-down cake for dessert? I looked at him through lowered lashes. "Oh gee, I don't know…my mom is making my favorite dessert…"

Ranger reached out and caught my hand, pulling me towards him until I was flush with his body. "Your favorite?" He teased when he started placing open-mouthed kisses down my neck, "You sure about that?"

I was glad Ranger was holding me because my knees were buckling. And when he held me and kissed me like this, I wasn't sure of anything, my mind was blank. I was about to ask him what I should be sure about when he closed my mouth with his own.

My arms snaked around his neck of their own accord as he gently parted my lips with his tongue. All I could feel was Ranger's mouth on mine, his hands on my skin and the shocks of electricity as our tongues touched.

Ranger's leg was slid between mine, and before I realized it, my hips were pushing against it. I let my hands wander down his shirt to pull it out of his pants, and his breath caught as I slid my hand under the shirt. I moaned at the sensation of his tight muscles under my palms, I was stroking and kneading, matching the rhythm of our tongues.

When he pulled away, we were both out of breath and I had to hold onto him because I didn't trust my legs to carry me. "That was quite a show we just gave everybody at the monitors," Ranger said, his voice husky. "Did I pique your interest in dessert?" He winked at me and didn't wait for my response when he pulled me with him to the elevator.

As soon as the elevator doors closed, Ranger pointed his key fob at the camera and disabled the feed, then he pushed me against the wall and pinned me with his weight.

"Now, where were we?" he whispered against the exposed skin in the hollow of my throat and I shivered. His tongue darted out and I closed my eyes as it traveled up my neck. He sucked lightly at my pulse point and I fisted my hands in his shirt moaning. I could feel him smile against my skin when he nibbled along my jawbone. "Ranger…" I pressed out. I couldn't wait any longer and there were way too many clothes on both of us.

His mouth reached mine and he kissed me, hungry and demanding.

I didn't hear the 'bing' of the opening doors, I just felt Ranger's hand on my ass, lifting me up until my I wound my legs around his waist and my hands held on to his shoulders. He didn't break the kiss as he stumbled backwards, out of the elevator.

When he put me down in front of his door, we were both panting and I was working on getting his shirt all the way out of his pants.

"Can't wait, huh?" He teased as he unlocked the door and pushed me inside. "I'm starving," I shot back and claimed his mouth with mine. I let my tongue play over his lips, teasingly dart between them, only to pull back before our tongues met. Ranger fisted my hair in his hands and crushed his mouth to mine, pushing me backwards again. I finally got his shirt free and pushed it upwards impatiently. He pulled away long enough to push the shirt over his head, then he picked me up and carried me into the bedroom.

I giggled when he dropped me onto the bed but the laughter died in my throat when I saw the look in his eyes. His pupils were dilated black, and the raw passion I read in his eyes made me gasp.

A small smile played around his lips when he pulled my t-shirt free and had it over my head in a split-second. I splayed my hands on his stomach, I love the feeling of his tight muscles under my hands.

In one quick motion, Ranger opened my bra and pushed the straps off my shoulders before he leaned down and nibbled on my shoulder. I closed my eyes and saw fireworks explode behind my closed lids as the heat spread from my shoulder down my spine. I bucked my hips involuntarily and felt Ranger groan against my skin. His mouth wandered over the sensitive spot where my neck met my shoulder, while his fingers were expertly unbuttoning my jeans.

I removed the leather band that held his hair together and ran my fingers through it as it cascaded down, the tips tickling my skin. Ranger straightened and positioned himself between my legs. He was wearing a wolf grin when he lifted my hips and pulled my jeans down. He followed the fabric with his slightly callused hands and the friction had me so close to coming I could already sense the sweet release.

Ranger dropped my jeans to the floor, and then he bent down slowly and pushed his knee between my legs as he lay down beside me. He trailed butterfly kisses up my neck and then he brushed his lips back and forth over mine before settling on them in a gentle kiss. His tongue parted my lips and he thoroughly explored my mouth, our tongues dancing with one another. The heat in my belly grew stronger with every second.

My hands were in his hair holding his mouth to mine and I writhed under him as his hands explored me and I gasped when his fingers touched my nipple. It pebbled instantly when he started stroking it and I moaned into his mouth. He kneaded my breast, catching the nipple between his thumb and his forefinger, pinching it lightly, and I gasped again. He continued this sweet torture on my other breast and I arched my back, pressing into his hands.

Ranger pulled away and studied my reaction to his fingers' touch. His hand ran down my abdomen, massaging my hips, and lower to the inside of my thighs, then back up over my hips and waist, over my ribs to cup my breasts and knead them. I closed my eyes and gave myself over to the absolute pleasure his touch evoked in me.

I reached for him, but before I got a chance to pull him down to me again, he slid out of my reach off the bed. When I opened my eyes, he was standing at the foot of the bed, watching me.

He quickly removed his own shoes and socks and knelt down on the bed. He picked up my foot and kissed my toe, worked his way over the instep to the ankle and when his teeth grazed over the delicate skin, I gasped again. I could feel his smile as he kissed his way up to my knee. I could see his heavy length straining for release through his pants, and the mere sight of it made me shiver involuntarily. I was about to reach for him again when his tongue darted out and lavished the back of my knee and my hands fell to my sides uselessly at the sensation.

"Ranger…" my voice was pleading now, but Ranger's only reaction was another smile. Nothing was going to deter him from taking his time. I didn't notice exactly when and how he did it, but when I opened my eyes, Ranger had pulled my legs off the bed and was kneeling at the foot of the bed, his head between my thighs. He sent me another wolf grin as he lowered his mouth to my inner thigh and I sucked the air in frantically. I could feel my core throbbing, aching for him, and the whimpering noises I heard may have come from me.

He was murmuring something, I couldn't understand the words but I felt the vibrations against my skin as his mouth wandered further up and closer to the spot I wanted him most. He let his hands slide up my legs and grasped my panties, not waiting for me to lift my hips, he just ripped them off me. My back arched off the bed and a small scream escaped me when I felt his lips _right there_ and lightening shot through my veins, I could see all colors of the rainbow behind my closed lids.

His talented tongue was caressing me as he slid a long, warm finger into me, then a second. My hands fisted in his hair, holding on to him as he alternately licked and sucked until I exploded, sobbing, screaming his name. He didn't move while I was riding out the mother of all orgasms, but I could feel him warm and strong between my legs.

When my heart rate returned to somewhat normal, he kissed the inside of my thighs and moved down off of the bed to strip his pants off. I studied him through lowered lashes, his perfect body, his impressive erection. My eyes reached his face and his dark eyes, heavy with lust. I would have dragged him down to me if I hadn't still been recovering from my doomsday orgasm.

Slowly, he bent down, running his hands up my legs, pressing my hips down. He feathered kisses up my belly, his tongue running circles around my navel, as he crawled up higher and higher. I reached for him but he caught my hands and pressed them into the mattress on either side of my head.

He lay over me and looked into my eyes, kissing me gently on the mouth and cheeks, forehead and eyelids before he lowered his head, his hair brushing my skin as his tongue stroked my collarbone. I spread my legs and bent my knees, hooking one foot over him, inviting him in.

"I need to feel you inside me," I whispered and Ranger groaned in response. He bit my earlobe ever so lightly and I gasped as he slowly, gently, slid into me, an inch at a time until he filled me completely. I tried to get him deeper into me as he stilled to let me adjust to his size, the effort obvious in the corded muscles of his neck and his clinched jaw.

His arms were under my back now and his fingers curled over my shoulders, biting into my skin with the effort to hold still. I rocked my hips against him and he moved with me, slowly at first, his hands relaxing more with every thrust.

I clung to him and dug my fingernails into his back, moaning as he filled me again and again, showing him he was giving me pleasure, not pain. His movements got faster, I was close to another climax, and then he stilled again, breathing heavily. I wrapped both legs around his hips, trying to draw him back into me. I couldn't wait any longer, my body was aching with pleasure.

Ranger understood, he crushed his lips to mine, his tongue plundering my mouth. He moved faster now, his thrusts harder, pulling almost all the way out before ramming home again and I met every thrust as I could feel the wave building in me. Every time I thought I couldn't go any higher before I exploded, Ranger would thrust into me and prove me wrong. I slid my legs off of him and planted my feet on the mattress, lifting my hips with every one of his thrusts, and Ranger growled deep in his throat. When he sank his teeth into my shoulder, I came, shattering into a million pieces, screaming his name until I was hoarse. Ranger rammed into me one final time and joined me, crushing me under him as his body shuddered and he collapsed onto me.

I squeezed my muscles, milking him, prolonging his climax and mine in the process.

It may have been only minutes, but it felt like hours before I opened my eyes, struggling for air, tears streaming down my face.

Ranger lifted himself up on his elbows, and wiped my tears away with his thumb, his breathing still ragged. His eyes black with passion, he smiled at me and at that moment, I knew what it meant to touch Heaven.

Like I said, I turn into Barbara Cartwright when I talk about him.

This was what making love to Ranger was like, every time. And whether he took me, hard and fast, against the wall in the foyer, the front door barely closed, or we took our time, him driving me over the edge time after time before finally allowing himself to be swept away; sex with Ranger was always magic.

I wanted to speak, but I was still panting and my brain couldn't form any words yet so I pushed the hair out of his face and returned his smile.

"Te Amo, Babe. Tienes que saber que siempre te he amado," he whispered, his eyes closed, rubbing his nose against mine. I knew maybe five words in Spanish, but I knew the first two. He was still buried deep inside me and I wished he could stay there forever. I closed my eyes at his words to keep the tears of joy from falling. My arms flew around his neck and I pulled him back down to me, nuzzling his neck, breathing in his scent. This was the first time he'd said it, no disclaimers, no winking. Ranger'd said he loved me.

He rolled off of me after a long moment and took me with him, settling my head on his shoulder as he pulled the covers over us. We lay like that until I almost fell asleep.

"You're ready for dessert now?" Ranger asked and his chest shook in silent laughter.

"Mmmm," I replied, "But make it sweet this time." He pretended to be offended for a beat, and then a devilish grin spread over his face and he started tickling me until I thought I was going to pass out from laughter and I collapsed onto him, trying to breathe.

My stomach growled loudly and Ranger chuckled. "Sounds like we have to feed you."

"Oh, I'm able to eat all by myself, I'm a big girl," I said and propped myself up on my elbow. I sent Ranger my version of an evil grin when he raised an eyebrow in a silent question and I lowered my mouth to his shoulder. Ranger sucked in some air when I started nibbling and my hand reached out to stroke his nipple.

"Mmmm, I'm still hungry," I mumbled against his skin as I moved lower and placed open-mouthed kisses over his chest, down his rippling six-pack. I French-kissed his navel and he grabbed my shoulders, trying to pull me up, but I straightened up out of his reach and slid off the bed.

I bent down to give him a full view of my breasts and nudged my elbows between his legs. A full-on smile spread over his face as he watched every move I made.

I ran my hands up his legs, mimicking his earlier moves, until they met at his shaft. I knew from experience it wouldn't take me long to get it all the way back up to its proud length, but I took my time stroking the base, dipping down every now and then to cup his balls.

Ranger moaned when my tongue darted out to touch the tip and when I looked up, he was still watching me. He reached out for me, but I held his hands in one of mine, holding them down. He got the message, no touching. I knew he loved this game, giving up control. Or maybe he just loved how much I loved being _in_ control.

When he dug his hands into the sheets, I slid my hands down his abdomen once again and gathered his growing length in them, taking the tip into my mouth and circling my tongue around it. Ranger's whole body vibrated with the low growl he emitted.

I settled my self on my stomach between his legs and balanced my weight on my elbows, then I tightened my grip around the base and moved my fingers up until they met my lips. I reversed the movement, taking as much of him as I could in my mouth and sliding my fingers down to the hilt. Ranger started to pant, mumbling under his breath. I smiled when I grazed my teeth up his length and ran my tongue in small circles over the tip of his now fully erect cock.

"Steph…" Ranger pressed out. I looked up at him. "Sorry, still hungry," and I flashed him a smile before I lowered my head again and took him deep. I went faster for a minute, until I could feel every muscle in his body tighten, then I slowed town to a torturous pace, I sucked and licked until he writhed under my tongue's touch.

"Christ…"

I would have laughed out loud if I didn't have my mouth full. I stroked up his length, removing my mouth, using just my hand. I cupped his balls with my free hand, applying just a little bit of pressure, and I was watching him. His hands were bunched up in the sheets, his chest was heaving and his eyes were squeezed shut, and yet a smile was playing around his lips. He must have sensed me watching him, because he opened his eyes and looked at me. The raw emotion in his eyes made a flash of heat shoot through my stomach, and I was tempted to mount him. But then I decided to hold off until the next round and I winked at him as I ran my tongue over my lips before I lowered my mouth to his cock again and I heard him suck in a breath. This time, I didn't let up when I felt his tension build; I took him deeper until the tip touched the back of my throat, stroking the shaft while I did it.

He bucked his hips and called my name, then he came with an intensity that felt as if he was exploding in my mouth, and I drank him dry.

I slid up his body slowly, stroking him and kneading him, until Ranger grabbed me under the arms and pulled me up so that half my body was covering his. His breathing was still ragged and I let out a satisfied sigh when I put my head down on his chest. Ranger's arm tightened around me and his heartbeat slowly returned to normal.

He ran his hand up and down my arm. "Hmmm," he said and I could hear the smile in his voice. "What?"

"Now that you brought it up, I'm still hungry, too…" I rolled my eyes and laughed. At the rate we were going we wouldn't get to eat actual food until much, much later.

A couple hours later, I raided the fridge for a late-night meal. Slowly but surely, I 'd introduced Ranger's kitchen to 'normal' food, so now there were things like worthless white bread, peanut butter and TastyKakes co-existing with Ranger's healthy food. He never missed an opportunity to tell me 'that stuff will kill me', but he says it with a wink now. He did that a lot. He'd say something that would usually get a rise out of me, then I'd look at him and he'd wink with a smile that could melt polar ice caps.

Some nights, usually when Bob was with me in the office, I stayed over, but I still had my own apartment and was planning on keeping it. One step at a time, the way I like it.

I knew I loved Ranger, and I was madly _in_ love with him, but until tonight, I hadn't known he loved me. Well, okay, I _knew_ but he hadn't said it. I liked the way things were, I loved spending time with Ranger and I enjoyed loving him without any pressure.

Ranger was taking a shower while I was fixing us some sandwiches, and for a moment I contemplated joining him, but then my hunger won. If we didn't eat now, we wouldn't get a chance to until dawn, and then we'd be too tired to move a muscle.

He joined me at the breakfast bar minutes later; wearing only is black silk boxers. His hair was still wet and he smelled delectable. I watched in fascination as his muscles rippled with his movements.

He took the bottle of water I offered him and pointed at the sandwich, "What's this?" I knew what he meant, he wasn't fond of white Wonder Bread smothered with condiments and red meat, but I cleverly changed the subject

"Mostly carbs," I explained, "I read how marathon runners have pasta and such before the big race…" I lowered my lashes and pursed my lips. He gave me a wolf grin and picked up his sandwich. He was so easy.

"You might wanna save some energy," he said between bites. "Remember, dinner at my parents' tomorrow. You said you wanted to make a good first impression."

Gulp.

ENDE

A/N: That's all folks…LOL I hope you enjoyed this 6-month journey. I got this great idea for a sequel, put me on your author alert if you want to know when I get around to it. As always, I'd very much appreciate your feedback, good, bad, and ugly, I'm a hopeless review slut…

- Te Amo, Babe. Tienes que saber que siempre te he amado: I love you, Babe. You have to know that I've always loved you.


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